'But where does it stop?!'

25:48Anna Williamson:Because also you can't think on the spot enough to like get your embarrassment. It's also there's no other like explanation. Other than us having a wank. I'm sure she's seen it before. If she hasn't, she needs to. She needs to. Right. We've got another message from Anon. So Eileen Ulick. Eileen. Is that you? I can't take account for it. People keep sending me videos of like, you know, the Peloton. Yeah. the Peloton instructors people like write stupid names on that and they send me like compilations yeah and then Eileen Ulic like on Starbucks with the names yeah love that right hi Luana Mo been a huge fan for years now and I'm hoping to be able to make it to your upcoming show yes guys if you haven't got tickets do so now I think there's a tiny handful left check them out everythingluana.com and grab yours for our big party next year right this isn't the usual kind of dilemma you receive but I'm hoping with Anna's relationship expertise combined with Lou's brutal honesty it will help me out I'm emailing him for some advice on how to navigate financial disagreements with my partner our relationship is almost perfect apart from one thing, money to set the scene we've been together for around 6 years and I have 2 children from a previous relationship I earn a decent salary but my partner earns significantly more than me around 4 times as much because of his success we upsized our home last year and now live somewhere I could only ever dream of before I met him he's constantly taking us on nights away days and he books holidays for all of us which again I couldn't afford regularly on my own my issue is I'm skint when it comes to my personal finances he pays around 65 % of the bills and I pay the other 35 % but as he works the way a lot i tend to pay for all of the food shops petrol and other expenses i also pay for the car which we share since he hasn't had his own for the last six months on top of this i pay for all of my kids costs such as clothes school dinners trips as their father only pays 40 pounds maintenance per month that's a piss tape i can no longer receive child benefit due to my partner being a high earner but i still pay for all of their things on my own the way things fall i actually end up paying well over half of our family expenses and he does pay 100 % of all recreational extras.

28:10Due to how expensive our house is, I end up with about 60 to 80 pounds left over every month for anything extra, whereas he has thousands of surplus each month. I brought this up to him recently in an argument and he called me ungrateful because he genuinely does spend a lot of money on trips and nice things and he did even pay off my debt which I met which mounted up before I knew him but it just doesn't seem fair that I'm scraping the barrel every month from the outside looking in we appear wealthy and collectively we are but I've never felt so poor when it comes to my own bank account I can't remember the last time I was able to go shopping and buy myself a new outfit whereas he will order himself 300 pound pair of trainers without even a second thought just yesterday he was talking about booking a new year's holiday to to buy, which he will pay for as usual, but I can't even afford to get my roots done for said holiday.

28:59So I feel like saying no as I just feel like an imposter in this life. Whenever I mention I'm struggling and worrying about money, he always says, oh, don't worry, we'll sort it. But he rarely follows through on that and I still end up struggling. I've genuinely considered leaving and moving back into a small three-bed place with my kids where I would actually probably be better off. I spoke to a friend about this and she said it's financial abuse, so I can't call it that when he is constantly treating me and the kids to nice trips and meals out and he is a kind and gentle man. I'll probably get a bunch of expensive gifts for Christmas when in reality I just want to have more than 10 pounds left in my bank account.

29:35When I search how to split the bills fairly online everything says it should be proportionate to each partner's income. If this was the case I would be so much better off. How do I approach this conversation without sounding ungrateful for everything he gives me and my kids or am I just being totally selfish and should

29:51Anna Williamson:appreciate what i have gosh this is such a good uh dilemma and i really feel for you and the the the challenge with this is firstly financial uh challenges in a relationship is the number one cause of relationship breakdown okay so i think we all need to recognize how big a deal that actually can be in a lot of relationships is financial imbalance um and you also he also very much about financial abuse so the thing here is there is actually no legal definition of what is right in a relationship when it comes to apportioning the costs now the only time now you're not married now if even if you were married though the only time that finances get to my knowledge by the way which is fairly extensive around this is uh if you were to legally split and then uh a court would start at a 50 50 approach yeah and then it with regards to all you'll know lou you you've you've been divorced right um and ultimately it comes down to what works for individual couples now the typical approach is joint account individual accounts so that typically is a majority setup of what people tend to do but there really is no one size fits all I think and it really is down to you to have to figure this out I don't know what you girls think for me it doesn't sound like it's financial abuse because it sounds as though your husband I think he's just probably a bit blind to it and you might need to be more I know that you've said you've mentioned it this is it I don't think mentioning yeah mentioning isn't actually having a real it needs to be more of a sit down conversation and perhaps say to him look this Christmas I'd actually love it when you buy me these beautiful gifts but to be honest I could really do with building up my own personal savings because I am struggling and actually sit him down or use something like chat gbt put in his salary put in your salary and what you've basically said here and ask that for a first split because actually that will go i know it sounds ridiculous asking like an ai robot but it can be really effective it can be really helpful and it could really help you like outline and then and also guide you as to like what to say to him just say look i've kind of worked out that like proportionately could like this could be more or say to him something like you know i'm gonna have to change the car because i can't afford the car anymore and you might find that he then says oh god no well I'll help you with the car payment you know so I think you probably need to be a bit clearer in your communication and and because you don't want to feel ungrateful you're probably holding back and having that conversation because you don't want to seem ungrateful yeah but really it's lovely having all those nice things and the holidays and the meals out but actually day-to-day living is the number one thing and I think that you really do need to tackle that yeah and i can hear the resentment you know the resentment around so you can't even get your roots done but then you know liberally kind of buy 300 you know pound pair of shoes but then you know to balance this i suppose that if he feels like he is uh you know paying for you know what feels appropriate within the dynamic of the relationship you know he's not being tight he's not saying i'm not paying for anything you know he is paying for stuff so he's probably in his head thinking well i earn this money you know so i'm gonna buy myself a 300 pound pair of shoes because it's what i earn to lose point there's not been clear communication and in my experience relationship therapist it is always communication that fucks everything up assumption over actual clarity and i think you need this sounds really boring and i know lily's going to roll her eyes at this but this is a really effective strategy to do marriage meetings like finance meetings and especially if a couple are having this type of hardship where there is an imbalance around control roles gender roles and everything else with it sit down and literally go look these are the outgoings these are the incomes is your pot that you my pot the joint pot here's how i'm feeling about it is there a compromise we can make do you think that's fair ask the open questions to each other i have this i feel like i'm really short-changed what do you think do you think i'm being fair or do you not can we find a solution can we find a compromise to lose point i'd rather not have you know expensive prezzies but i would really appreciate 300 pounds you know going into my account do you think that's fair this needs to be open questions and open conversations to state how you feel, what you would ideally want, and then have a right to reply.

34:01Anna Williamson:And then you need to draw up a blueprint on a plan. You know, this is the plan. Let's have a, nothing's concrete. Can we try this for three months? See how it works. See if it feels fair. At the end of the three months, he thinks he's been stitched up, readdress it or you, that's where you need to come out from this because at the moment there's a complete imbalance and it's always money that does it. Yeah. To me, it feels like she feels she should pay more because it's her kids as well. There's ego in here and there's insecurity. But if you're going to be a family moving forward, you'd hope that he'd be accepting that he would take on some of that cost, I guess.

34:36Yeah, they've been together for six years as well, I think.

34:38Anna Williamson:Did you ever, do you mind me asking, but did you ever have the conversation with Andrew about, he's a very generous man, I would assume he would just step up anyway, but like to this woman's point, you know, the dad of her kids is paying, I mean, it's actually insulting, 40 pounds a month. And I feel for her because she's in a position where she's like, fuck, I'm sort of holding it all. And I can see why she looks at her partner going, he's bougie and like, why is he offering me loads of money? But I can sort of see from his point of view, he's probably thinking, well, I give fuck loads anyway.

35:05Anna Williamson:Like, but yeah, did you ever have that with Andrew? Not really. I think, so Dixie's dad's never given me money either. But I've always been the breadwinner, even without Andrew. So before we met, so I've always earned more. and then Andrew has always paid Dixie school fees and I would have been more than happy to pay Dixie school fees and actually I did Celebrity Big Brother to put her through school until she was 18 and that's why I did it because the amount I got would have paid school fees Lou, I didn't know that which is why I did it because I was never really a Big Brother fan but when you get offered that tasty fee and you had a little baby I was a single mum and so we never really like had a how to conversate I mean Andrew's so generous yeah but obviously even now if you look at our finances his will be exponentially like huge compared to mine and that's not to say that I don't have huge amount of savings and I really do because actually everything that I earn Andrew's always like don't spend it and have you ever had and actually I'm curious about all our different relationships and again it is personal so no one has to answer this but but yeah have you and Andrew ever had or felt you haven't needed to have a conversation about who puts in what to the we don't i honestly i just put nothing in yeah but it's but it's never but if that clearly works for you as in it's not been a conversation happily have had me not like not work and or work like i i work because i choose to work not because he wants me to work um and so he's always just really done like the lion's share and so but i think it comes down anything i earn i don't spend i save and invest obviously that's just got bigger and bigger over the years so my personal like wealth as such in my own name is is decent yeah because I haven't ever had to spend well you know if I want something I'll buy it like I bought a quite an expensive horse for myself yeah but I'll buy things like that and and the kids I buy you know I'll buy things with my card I'll put things on his card I don't tend to buy like expensive handbags and stuff ever no like on my no recently I bought two saddles for the horses which were so you that's your version of a handbag yeah which were like five figures but um but I think as well I buy them myself because I then but then if I'm like oh I've just spent this he's like why didn't you tell me I'd get that for you yes eh Doug there it is but I think I think what often comes into the finance question though is also you know there is a lot of other value within a relationship obviously that isn't financial you know the support systems at home you know when you're raising children is the breadwinner over you how do you yeah so nay earns a lot more than i do and do you have a proportion-based thing yeah because that's what alex and i do she will put in more than i do because she earns a lot more than i do and and there was a point where it was like slightly more even but obviously i came off way way worse because yeah you don't have as much I was putting in a much larger percentage of my take home right um and we've and I sometimes feel like guilty about that but then we we have quite decent communication about it and she's like well I'm not paying for you I'm investing in our relationship and our life together it's it's not that you're taking my money it's I'm paying it for like our life yeah yeah um so we tend to do things like that and i i can completely get you that like there were times where i'm like oh jesus you're getting like an amazon parcel turning up every two seconds and i'm like considering whether i can afford like the next round yeah um and that is really difficult but you have to have those conversations and you'd you'd hope that your partner cares for you this is it to realign to realign with that and also you want to look after your partner yeah whether that's financially or in a home sense exactly looking after them with regards to helping them out putting their laundry away or cooking dinner and that is and that is a currency and it's and Alex and I are the same we have individual accounts and we have a joint account and we proportionately feed the joint account.

39:22Anna Williamson:But it's, and he's really respectful and I'm really respectful. And I think, again, it comes down to that communication of no one takes the piss. And, you know, with us, I mean, yeah, there is a slight disparity around earning, but at the same time, it's not an issue because there is earning going on on both sides, which we then, and it's never arsey. It's just, there is, like I say, we've been married 10 years and there is an appreciation that no one's taking the piss here. Yeah, it's not like you're not working. Exactly. But also as well, so there is when we and actually we do constantly reevaluate it.

39:53Anna Williamson:So it's the unspoken stuff like, you know, for me, for example. Oh, my gosh. You know, the fact that I have a present parent around, you know, when I'm not around, you know, and that is a currency. You know, that is him taking time out of his work to make sure our kids have a dad that takes them to football. I'll be paying. And then there's the cost on the children's well-being, you know, and that. But that is something he happily says. No, that's fine. I'll finish work at 2pm today because you're not here and I'll be with the kids but that's four hours of work he has then lost out on so and I think that's why it's a constant compromise and it's and it's but if without having these regular conversations oh there's been times Alex and I've got arsey with each other felt that one of us is doing more or he feels a bit like fucking hell hello I'm trying to run a business and I'm doing and I'm supporting you and now ultimately though I do think that in a relationship where that person who is the higher earner like you do have to prioritize their work because and it's like Andrew and I like if I had something on and it clashed with him and it was like they can know the kids had no one I would have to stop what I'm doing because I'm not the breadwinner I don't bring in that money and it's similar with you and Alex that's what happens with us he's the default parent but yeah one of you has to be because it won't work otherwise and that just logic prevails in that sense like you can't prioritize the the not the lesser but you know the the lesser earner but also you can't have an ego with that yeah yeah you need the breadwinner exactly to live the life that you live and you'll do when you have a baby that's what you'll experience too and it doesn't make you a lesser person because actually the whole family as a unit wouldn't run without that person that was willing to take take so true take the imagine if alex was still in the corporate world and i'm off swanning off to Ibiza for 10 days for celebs go dating and the kids have got all the shit the kids do and then they get ill but then I wouldn't want that because if the kids get unwell and that's the thing but there is that so I always say there is absolutely a currency and the cost of that because I can then go and do my work and it's always within our relationship mummy has these big shows to do he will then take that responsibility on which for me is priceless because I couldn't pay for that we're really lucky that we're both and both of our partners are self-employed yes so you do get that flexibility you know whereas you and Nate aren't you both work for huge corporates and that will be a big struggle when you have a child and um it's actually why Alex went back to freelance yeah well big part of it because it suddenly it won't work him it's really hard yeah anyway listen encouraging an open conversation with your partner and you know he has been with you for six years and in that effect he has taken your kids on and he knew what he was getting himself into and I really think you just need to bite the bullet have the chat say buy me a handbag proportionally work out if he earns 250 % more than you then you need to do the percentage use chat dbt for that we've got a message from Jay next male listener he says thank you Jay currently listening to the podcast with my now girlfriend going to a dirty weekend away they're listening to us to rub themselves up uh, uh, uh.

43:04Anna Williamson:My girlfriend, that'll turn him off quicker than anything. My girlfriend has told me to send him my one night stand story. Sorry for the graphic ending. Oh, I love that she's encouraged this. I was 21 and recently split from an ex-girlfriend. Very depressed from being cheating on. My friend said, Saturday night, we were going out to take my mind off it. Roll around to Saturday night in the club, getting a drink and a woman who was 38 at the bar say to me, cheer up. I tell her about my ex cheating and I'm not in the mood. And she says, I'm out celebrating her divorce and has just come through it.

43:35Anna Williamson:Cut to the end of the night and I see the same woman and me cheered up no end from around 10 Jager bombs. It's always a Jager bomb in it, guys. It's the drink of trauma. The happy. The PTSD drink. The fuck you drink. We get chatting again and I ask how our night went. Anyway, I end up going back to hers in a taxi and we're kissing and we're teasing. We get to hers and we start on the kissing on the settee and she stops and says, all good comes to those who wait and walks upstairs. I hear her walking about upstairs and she comes back down in black lingerie, stockings and a thong and says that this was for her husband but now it's for me to cheer me up.

44:09Anna Williamson:Go on girl. We head upstairs, have mind-blowing foreplay with handcuffs and rough sex. Go on. I get close to finishing and she says, finish on me boobs, top me tits. So I'm happy to oblige. I finish all over her. Then I hear someone sneeze. I look at her thinking, well, the only one's in the house, right? I say, did you hear that? I heard someone sneeze. Yeah, it's the neighbours. She says the walls are thin. Until it happened again. Then the wardrobe door flies open to a man with his boxers around his ankles and falls on the floor. It turns out... What? The actual... This is that kink. It turns out she didn't get a divorce.

44:52Anna Williamson:It was a lie. She told so she could bring men back for her to enjoy while her husband watches from the wardrobe. He's in there having a Tommy time. He's having a little... Watching her get fucked by some random shit picture. She was in a hot wife situation. Can I just say the biggest ick having a sneeze in the wardrobe. What made me even more shocked was that he wanders over to his wife, starts kissing her and says, you were so good then, my love, and then starts to kiss down her boobs where I had just shot my load. I was standing there like a rabbit in the headlights. Then she turns to me and said, you can let yourself out.

45:36Anna Williamson:She just used him. I left in a taxi and wondered what the F just went on. It's my girlfriend who thinks it's hilarious for the podcast. I'm Jay from the Midlands. I love the pod and all that. Cheers. Oh my God, that's so good. What a little kinky, kinky poo. She obviously brings him home, starts kicking on the sofa. That's it. I'm coming in. Then she goes upstairs. That's it. Puts the lingerie on. They have a little free fiddle. Then he gets in the cupboard. Go get in the cupboard. He's then like, door a crack. I find this kink quite hot, actually. Do you? A little cuck fetish. Well, I wouldn't do that.

46:10Cuck fetish. Cuckled. Is that what it's called? Yeah, cuckled. Remember. I'm thinking about it. She's got Mr Bean's face. She gets her cake and she eats it. She's got Mr. Beanface. The Mr. Oh. It's back.

46:27Anna Williamson:I've got a really big wardrobe in the rental. Just thinking. Just shove Al in there. Take Grant back. Take Grant back. Love it. Remember, if you want to get in touch, you can email us, Luana at everythingluana.com. You can also drop us a WhatsApp on 0745 266 966. for seven. Evening. Buyer's remorse. Buy a new car? I'll be moving in. Let's get started. Sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana. You what? Yeah, great price. I even have seven days to love it or return it. So there's no... No, no buyer's remorse. More like buyer's rejoice? I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations.

47:16I mean it. Buyer's rejoice.

47:18Anna Williamson:Buy your car today on Carvana. Limitations and exclusions may apply. See our seven-day return policy at Corfana.com. Right, newsy bits. Now, the government, I saw this, has been awash. It's something that keeps coming about again and again. But the government has rejected a fine-free school absences bid. Now, this was hot news. Lots of people talking about it. It all affects us, particularly Lou and me, as mothers of kids who are at school. Now, the government has said they will not allow pupils to miss 10 days of school without good reason. A minister has said this in response to a mother's petition to remove school absence fines.

47:53Anna Williamson:Now, MPs debated a petition launched by Natalie Elliott from Ripley in Derbyshire, calling for parents to be allowed up to 10 days fine free. They should be allowed, though. Well, this is it. Let's see. More than 180 ,000 signatures. Yeah, and promptly led to a debate, which some MPs did start to challenge the current policy. School standards minister, Georgia Gould, said the UK was still facing an absence epidemic, Which is correct. Okay, well then you can see the other side. Which it is correct. Exactly, it is. But I also feel for the other side too. So Miss Elliott said that the current policy was not fit for purpose and the system had made parents scared to call schools when their child could not attend for legitimate reasons.

48:32Anna Williamson:The former Conservative government announced plans to increase the fines for parents last Feb. We often talk about this as part of the drive to boost attendance since the COVID pandemic. Under current rules, parents who children miss school without good reason are initially given a fixed penalty notice of£80, which rises to£160 if it's not paid within 21 days. Now, if that is not then paid within 28 days or a child is off school three or more times within three years, the matter can be taken to a magistrate's court. Parents can be fined up to two and a half grand, handed a community or parenting order, or given a prison sentence in most extreme cases.

49:02Anna Williamson:I mean, come on, our prisons are bursting at the seams. I mean, has that ever happened? I don't know. Let's have a look. Can we have a look? Has a parent ever been actually jailed for absences? For taking their kid to Disneyland or something? It's ridiculous. But so Miss Elliott said, I think there needs to be a clear appeals process. As it stands, families are not allowed to appeal a fixed penalty notice. Now, this is what I was seeing that happened. The Conservative MP Robbie Moore said that price jumps in travel meant that many families could not afford holidays during the school. We all know that.

49:29Anna Williamson:And we all talk about the massive, since the dawn of time, there's been travel hikes in the school breaks, right? Which penalises teachers as well, actually. One parent from Keeley, this is what he said. My constituency told me that she was quoted over£1 ,000 more per person for a February half-term holiday compared to the following week, meaning an identical family holiday would cost thousands more simply for taking it during school holidays. He added that a family holiday was one of the key opportunities for families of children with special educational needs sent to de-stress with the holiday period being too much for many sent children to handle.

50:02Anna Williamson:I mean, interesting point, actually. during the debate the chairwoman of the education select committee Helen Hayes she called in the government to do more to work with the travel industry to have to stop unfair price hikes and I do think that possibly that is the solution but then I feel like how much can you govern privately owned businesses this is it how much of a big brother state do you then get I was going to say it feels so nanny state with a government dictating how a business right I mean a business is there to make money so of course they're going to try and capitalise when they can.

50:36And also the travel industry

50:37Anna Williamson:were hit badly by the pandemic as well They're still trying to recoup. I think so we're committed to tackling this problem because we heard from many absence is one of the biggest barriers to opportunity damaging learning, health and well-being. Future earnings in employment and each day of lost learning can do serious harm. This is the counter-argument to why they rejected it and that is why we won't allow pupils to miss 10 days of school without good reason. She just hoped that travel companies were watching the debate and listening to the strength. I don't think hope is enough. You're right, Lou.

51:10Hope can sail off with the wind. You learn so much on a family holiday. I mean, I remember we were really lucky during that second or third lockdown in COVID. And we just went to Dubai for three months. And Indy was four. She was in reception. We were so lucky our kids weren't in formal education. And then I remember, and she went to one of the top 10 schools in England, India, even at that young age. They were like, you need to log on. And they were like showing them YouTubes about turtles. And I was like, dude, I'm in Dubai. I've taken her to a turtle sanctuary this morning. Like my kid doesn't need to log on.

51:45She's literally been feeding turtles. And yes, I'm sorry that other kids are in a lockdown in England and can't do that. But why would I log my kid on to watch YouTube when I can go and take her to see the turtles? I was taking her to all science museums and it was a bit of a battle with the school but I think that you learn so much on a family holiday and it's not even just about education it's about learning how to be part of a family and being part of a family and that family bonding and we hand over so much responsibility to schools and we're always saying our parents need to parent more and then you do want to parent more and then you can't

52:22Anna Williamson:I think when it comes down to it I think a lot of people that are very pro this you know not not being fined is because essentially our parenting is is being governed by a government you know it's the government who are telling us what we should and shouldn't be doing with our children and I'm with you Lou I think children learn so much from being with their parents as siblings experiencing the world experiencing different cultures I think it's really important I suppose the problem with what is being suggested which on one hand I would be massively in favor of I'm a freelancer so are you I can I can go on holiday whenever I bloody well like you know so So, you know, it would be really good for me as well.

52:56Anna Williamson:But I suppose it's like everything, isn't it? When you put these things in, where does it stop? Because if it is then 10 days blanket, where is the, and you hope most parents would be reasonable about not taking their kids out if they're about to do sacks or something. Or catching up on work. But then you obviously, if there is no caveat to that, it does become a very open-ended problem. Well, imagine being a teacher with a class of 30. And every bloody day you've got a different one off the table. days and then you're trying to catch up with work and you're trying to teach them all at the same rate and that one's missed that and that one's missed that and that one's missed half of that and that one's missed 20 % of that that's a very difficult situation to manage so it does make sense not to do it I actually do think so as much as I I really have empathy for it I think it's a great idea but in practice I think actually it's more problematic because as we do know school attendance is getting worse and also there's a lot of children who we've recently had round robin emails through from our council local council and the schools saying reminding us the importance of attendance with the statistics around if your children are missing days I mean I'll be honest I've done it once or twice there's been a few things that have happened.

54:11See I'm lucky because mine go to private school and they get longer holidays so often mine will be on holiday when other schools aren't so you don't tend to get the price.

54:19Anna Williamson:I mean, I'll be totally honest here because I was very honest with the school about it because I've learnt there's no point in lying either because then you don't actually enjoy the thing you're doing because you can't tell your kids to lie either. I did a couple of years ago, I think it was last year, took the kids out of school on a Friday afternoon for Lapland UK. Oh, there she is. So literally no one has a PTA member. But actually I was just really honest and I said to, So I messaged the head and I said, and I gave it as a statement, not a question either. I was taking my kids out. And I just said, look, this opportunity has come up, which is the last minute opportunity and invitation.

54:55Anna Williamson:It's wonderful for us as a family. The magic of Christmas. My children are still in the age of believing. I would like to take the children out from school tomorrow, you know, at 12 o 'clock at lunchtime. I hope you can understand on this occasion. And quite rightly, which I know a lot of schools do and don't do, they just didn't acknowledge the email because they can't be complicit in saying, yes or no they just ignored it we took Indie out and her little mate the other week at two o 'clock to take them to see Benson Boone at the O2 oh nice we do loads of stuff and then I took them out early a couple of weeks before go up to Skegness oh for Skeggy yeah but to be fair though but you're not taking them out for two weeks to go to Thailand do you know what I mean and I think there is a difference I think there is do you want some staff yes please so one thing is absence in England In 2023 to 2024, 487 ,000 penalty notices were issued.

55:50Shit, that's a lot. Which is, and it's up 22 % from last year. That's a lot. I know people do it all the time. Prosecutions and stuff. I guess there's a degree of truancy and letting your kids go to school or not, whatever. But nearly 12 ,000 parents were prosecuted last year for failing to send their children to school. just over 9 ,000 were found guilty under UK truancy laws. And whilst two thirds of those received a fine, 25 were given jail sentences. 25 were sent to jail? And that was in 2011, those truancy numbers. Oh, okay, quite a while ago, yeah. So a while ago, so it has probably gone up.

56:27And they were big figures anyway.

56:29Anna Williamson:But then I would question those statistics on the ones of truancy on children not going to school. Because a lot of children and send children just will not go to school. so is it that children that won't go to school and you can't bloody force you can't force a horde to drink water right or is it just lazy parenting you know what I mean like that's what I'm curious to know because I also have a lot of and I know you'll be listening as well lots of send parents who are like desperately trying to get their kid to school and their kid is autistic or whatever and will not go to school so that's a different it is high that's a very high amount to just say they're all send I mean we can't it actually undermines parents with genuine send children oh yeah and I don't know if it is a reason of like send but i think that that's actually surprisingly high but so actually i don't blame them for not letting it through because also we live in a society now where our exam results are lower than ever we're having to have children reset and reset to get the basic pass in maths and english our unemployment in this country like 30 odd percent of people don't have a job which is a massive strain on the government financially that's why we're in such dire strays because we're actually trying to prop up you know two-thirds of the working population so 30 percent a third of the people that can work in this country don't work yeah which leaves it to the other two-thirds which are paying for that third that don't work and why don't they work because they don't want to work in low-paid jobs but why can they only get low-paid jobs because educationally they're not strong enough to get a better paid job.

58:03So then it all does go back to that seven-year-old in year two and three being at school, being educated. And then thinking actually is a trip to, you know,

58:14Anna Williamson:Al Alicante, you know, actually worth it or not. Bloody Benidorm. So actually the government do try and look at this whole picture. Why is our unemployment at the highest rate ever? And trying to tackle it. You know, we keep going back to you've got to fix things from the source. and they are trying to probably fix things from the source and keep children in education. I'm going to be honest. I think I am in favour. I would have rejected it too. Because I think kids... And also, are we being a bit... I don't know. I'm just throwing it out. Are we being too entitled thinking that we should all be able to go on holiday every half-term holiday?

58:49Anna Williamson:Yeah. You know, when I was younger, we just went once a year in the summer. One holiday to Cornwall in the summer for a week. Yeah. That was it. Why don't you stop the holiday companies hiking their prices in the summer. Because you can't be such a nanny state. What's the incentive for anyone to run a business if the government are putting caps on it? It's a bit like saying... Because it's lower without term time because people, like the majority of, like we can't travel in the term time so I would imagine the holiday demand is really low. So they obviously wait for those times to actually make their money back, which I know is penalising us.

59:24But then you go into this thing like, well let's just let the government own everything. yeah let's let the government own the holiday companies so that they can control the pricing but where's the incentive for the motivation for a business that you know the ultimate thing of running a business is profit and to make money and people don't like to think no i agree with you because they don't like to think of the head honcho being absolutely loaded but the result of that head honcho being absolutely loaded is there's a whole ecosystem pyramid and an ecosystem underneath them of providing jobs to people.

59:58And without that head honcho providing jobs and that business making enough money to provide the jobs, then you get even less people employed. And then the company folds. And then you have a whole shit ton of people. The government can't start dictating how businesses should make money and putting a cap on, oh, you've been too successful now. Because that's half the problem at the minute with tax. Yes, it is, yeah. But it's crushing entrepreneurship. Well, yeah, that's the problem. That's why people are leaving in their drones. There's no incentive in this country to make money anymore because it's just taken from you.

1:00:34So you can't, you know, they already control so much, you know, even private gas, electricity, phone companies. There's caps that they put on that and regulators. And you just, you know, and then what are you going to do? Start getting regulation for holiday companies. And it's very tricky going down that line. Because obviously last week we were talking about the thing on ticket prices. And that's someone's business. Yeah, it is. And they're capitalising on demand. Like their holiday companies are capitalising on demand for Sunna. Yeah, you're right. Why should the government do one thing and not another?

1:01:10Anna Williamson:Well, let's move this on. But it is the conversation that we'll keep giving. We'll just wazz through this. Denmark, it's another one that's jumped on board. Australia has been paving the way. I think we will be hopefully coming at this at some point. I don't see us doing it. Well, who knows? We live in hope, Lou. Denmark is to ban social media for anyone under 15 years old. It has announced a landmark agreement to prohibit social media access for kids under the age of 15, a move designed to intensify pressure on major tech platforms amid escalating global concerns over the influence of harmful content and commercial exploitation targeting youngsters.

1:01:44Anna Williamson:Now, whilst this new legislation would permit parents following a specific assessment to grant their 13 and 14-year-olds access, significant questions remain regarding the practical enforcement of such a sweeping ban. Now, many tech companies already impose age restrictions on their platforms, yet officials and experts widely acknowledge these measures are frequently circumnavigated by proteins. Yeah, I mean, it's just bullshit, them imposing them. My Enzo has hacked every single thing. It's not even, he doesn't even have to hack it. It's ridiculous. No, exactly. You just tick a fucking box. But anyway, so Denmark, again, leading the way here and just, they're saying that the ban is not going to take effect immediately, but it will be something that they're going to do and they are going to do it in a hurry but not too quickly because they want to make sure that it's right and there's no loopholes for the tech giants to go through.

1:02:27This is such a simple thing to do though. When you have a social media account everyone should be made to upload photographic documents like a driving licence or a passport. There's the technology that can then verify that. We do it with banking.

1:02:42Anna Williamson:Well, I was doing... Did I mention this last time we talked about this? But I've been doing some work with Instagram with Meta actually to do with teen accounts and actually I've been really impressed with Instagram because they now have AI predictive technology that essentially shut that can track the usage of a child and if they get one whiff that this is a kid they shut it straight down they move you into a teen account and you have to prove with your age with identification that you are old enough so I do think it is starting and I think we can only be applauding anyone that is getting a grip on all of this because it helps us parents.

1:03:19Exactly.

1:03:19Anna Williamson:Us parents, it's hard. If it's a blanket ban, I'm here for that. Yeah, it'll be much easier. Maybe we want the government for that, but not the travel. And there'll be much fewer people signing up because it'll be harder. Like with the porn hub thing. Like with porn. Yeah. I've never watched porn again. I can give you my... I've only been on... But again, I've only been on a couple of times because if you get my bloody password. By the time I've gone in to go and sort it out, I've given up. Right, it's now time for... It's the widow of the week Right anonymous so Fanula Flatbanks Flatbanks I'd like to nominate myself for Widow of the Week My commute to work is an hour and twenty with only passing one toilet ten minutes from my workplace If the urge comes on me badly which it does regularly and I have no shop to pull into I have an emergency lunchbox in my car I shit in Great I've done this a few times and it's a great job Me and my sister are huge fans of the pod and she'll know this story is me She has the shitbox in her car She shits in a tupperware.

1:04:16Right, let's see if Olivia clothes off. Olivia clothes off. Olivia clothes off. Let's see if she's weirder. Hello, lovely ladies. I think I might have a word of the week. So once a week on my day off and when the children are at school, I have a lovely, quiet, peaceful poo to myself. Absolute bliss. And when I do this, I tear off one square of toilet roll. I lay that flat on my knee, usually my right knee. Nice. I pick my nose and cover that little square with as many boogers as I can. I then fold it in half and half again. So it's a small booger filled square. I pinch and roll each corner of the small square.

1:04:58And then finally, I poke and swirl each corner in my nose so that each nostril gets two goes each. Then I carefully fold that into the toilet roll I wipe my bum with. I feel refreshed and ready for my day and it's become a little day off ritual over the years but I'm not sure this is normal. Well, I think neither of them are normal. I think you're my person. I think that's like OCD bogey picking.

1:05:23Anna Williamson:It's quite a routine. Quite a routine. Very impressive. I think you're both bloody weird but we love it. Thank you guys. I think joint weirdness wins this week. Joint weirdos. Hallajalooja. Minj? I think that a poo lunchbox is significantly weirder than picking your nose on the toilet. Yeah, you're right. Doing a shit in a Tupperware anywhere actually is... On the side of a road. Yeah. Yeah, fair. All right, the Tupperware shitter, you win. Ta-da. Right, is that time of the week when we see if Zisballs is pissed off? I can't rant. My voice is still sore. Rant about your voice that's sore. My voice is sore and it's pissing me off and I can't rant.

1:06:00Anna Williamson:That's fair enough. Do we have a pseudo rant? Is there anything that's pissed you off, Imo? What's pissed me off? Imo never gets angry. You're like Mrs. Chillbot. I actually do get quite angry quite a lot. Do you? I just... Suppress it. Yeah. Yeah, internalise it. You're like me, I do that. Yeah. And then I get really angry in the car. That is it for this week's Luana the Podcast. Don't worry, we will be here every Monday. But of course, you don't have to wait until then because on Thursday we do have Luana. Totally extra. And for that, we need you, our wonderful Lufanians. Please do send your emails in to Luana at everythingluana.com.

1:06:35You can also hop onto WhatsApp, send us a voice note or message. Our number is 07745 266 947.

1:06:42Anna Williamson:Listen up, gang. Please do follow. Follow, follow, follow the podcast. If there's nothing else to do today, hit follow now. Please tell someone else about us and make them listen. Please also make sure you have subscribed to our YouTube. We would really appreciate a five-star review as well on the pod. And we'll see you Thursday. Bye-bye. Bye.

1:07:02Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun. An army hung on her every word. My champions, I have sold my chariot on Carvana. It was a lovely SUV, an inexplicably queenly offer. They're even coming to the castle to collect it. Tonight, we feast.

1:07:25Anna Williamson:An offer you can feast on. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pick up these mail. Bye.