‘Don’t sh*g him you’re just bored!’

21:19Anna Williamson:Emma, this is like your spawn right now. I know. You're loving this. Maybe you should start women's football, Emma. Forget that netball malarkey. True. You were quite good. Yeah. Need to get in there. She says, I'm a big fan along with both of my sisters and I listen every week from Madrid. Wow. I'm Scottish but friends with a lot of the Lionesses and have spoken to Niamh about the podcast. If you ever want to take Luana for a weekend to Madrid, let me know. Yes, we do. Yes, we do. Do you think we can take Niamh with us? And Leah. Probably. And Leah. Take one each. Do you think we can have token lioness girlfriends on that weekend?

21:55Yes. I choose Niamh. I choose Leah. Even though Leah doesn't know I exist at the moment. At least Niamh knows of my existence. To be fair, you are one up on that one. And she was very impressive.

22:08Anna Williamson:I'm holding out the longer... Actually, could I just say sorry? That was also... Did I just spar a tear? My football skills. My other piece. It is an offer that I will willy-wave. But I'm going to want this one, right? All right. I know what you're going to say. You would not expect, always watch the ones, the ones that set self-deprecating. We had a sprint off, me, Louisa, and Lioness Niamh Charles. And who won the sprint off? Me! We will carry out that they had like a 20 metre head start. But Niamh gave us a head start. That's fine. She's a career athlete. You beat me. Okay, I'll beat you. And I am also a career athlete.

22:48Well, you are pro-am On your horses and all that shit No, I'm not, I'm just am Well, I say pro-am, Babs Come on, ain't I? No, because if I'm am, it's better for me

22:58Anna Williamson:Oh, she's am There you go Right, well, this is all exciting Analytical out, by the way, just quickly Good morning, you're sat in the corner Have you recovered from the stink-mobile? Yes Have you? I've recovered from the edits You've not recovered from the edits That's why social media manager Bex isn't here Because she is literally tits deep in the edits still we are gonna get balls deep right now in did you know we're there mo uh where have i put it just too excited with the uh football message did you know oh this was a follow-on from the episode we did last week in the van okay oh okay did you know that on our Luana road trip, to the best of my ability, we travelled 1 ,346.9 kilometres or 836.9 miles.

23:53And where could we have been? Oh God, where is that from here? Shall I have a look? Where in the world could we have gone? No, that's too far. Germany. So if we didn't own the company, I'd be charging mileage for the car. yeah it's true yeah yeah what's that petrol mile so get 42 p.m.

24:14Anna Williamson:38 p.m. I don't know 836.9 miles from London is near the border of Germany and Belgium how did I know that there you go there you go well bloody good well done good going right let's get to messages First up, anonymous, so Ethel. Hi, Luanamo, from Australia and all their jazz. Are we still doing that? Yes. Yes, Ethel. Please keep in on. Granny named Ethel. I started listening to the pod from the beginning in Feb this year on my commute as a primary school teacher. And right now I'm up to November 2024. Make sure you go back and listen. So hello to future me, if it makes it on. I'm here to tell you the tragic tale of the ending of my marriage.

25:00Anna Williamson:Oh, settle in, peeps, she says. I wonder if it will have a honey twirl. Cold in it. Chilly babs, isn't it? A bit chilly. Will it be too nice? I'm going to put it on. Pop it on, pop it on. Here we go. Early in 2024, my husband of two years, we were together for 16, told me that he didn't love me anymore. He didn't find me attractive and he didn't want to be with me. Now, this was completely out of the blue. Life had been normal up until this night. I'm not saying things were perfect, but nothing out of the ordinary had happened. And could you mouse me? I told him... Yes, it's right. Why are you darting me?

25:37Anna Williamson:Just glance at him. I told him he should leave and he went to stay at a friend's house. I was absolutely devastated. He then kept me on the hook for three weeks back and forth, I'm going to gnarling over what he wanted. He refused to go to counselling unless he decided he wanted to stay, even though I was begging for him to come to one session with me. Oh, it's so horrible when you feel that heart broken and you're just shattered. And you can't do anything about it. Because I needed the help to reconcile what was happening. in hindsight i wish i kicked him to the curb immediately and was a much stronger woman but it is what it is he assured me multiple times during these weeks when i asked that there was no one else he kept coming back hysterically crying holding my hand kissing my forehead telling me he didn't know what he wanted now during these weeks i blamed everything on myself i wasn't understanding enough i needed to be less controlling i rejected sex too much i needed to lose weight i needed to communicate differently i needed to change basically every part of who i am and he let me he let me wear every single ounce of blame for what was happening and what our relationship had become finally he came around one friday night and he said that this was it he was officially leaving i had a panic attack and that was that i was extremely amicable throughout our split to save my own sanity i went no contact from this point well done it's always the best route and it truly truly was the most helpful thing i did during the whole separation that was it aside from a few very business-like texts here and there to make arrangements.

27:01Anna Williamson:I just never heard from him again. As I had throughout our entire relationship due to being with a man-child, organised everything, tied up all the financial loose ends, hysterically cried while meeting with an estate agent to sell our joint property, filed all the divorce paperwork, everything. I basically handed him a separation on a silver platter tied with a lovely little bow. During this time I dove into looking after myself. Yoga, pilates, walking all fuelled by an overwhelming hate and fury at my ex. Cry my eyes out, reading books on healing, attachment styles and love languages, listening to podcasts, looking after myself, seeing a psychologist in a seven day retreat in Bali with my sister.

27:38Anna Williamson:Christ babe, you really did go through the healing process. Eventually after six months, I felt like I was ready to meet someone new. You took six months. I would say it's a good healing process actually. Yeah, you do need to have that period especially when she's been so traumatised by it. I was 31 and I don't want to be alone forever after a couple of months on Tinder I finally messaged the first man I'd matched with I've been saving him because he seemed like my perfect man he responded straight away and the rest is history we've been together for over a year now and I can truly say I have never been happier the way this man treats me is worlds away from anything I've ever known and I see now how a relationship should be I really feel as if I found my person I think I'd become so complacent and stuck and a bit of a cost sunk fallacy with my ex because this was just my life.

28:26Anna Williamson:This is what I'd picked and I had to live with it. I mean, but so many people, it's hard to see it for what it is and pull yourself out. I was talking to someone yesterday about that actually. I can truly say now that my husband leaving me was the absolute best thing that ever happened to me. One night in March this year, I was sitting on the toilet taking my evening shit when I ran to... Oh, hang on a minute. I bet he was cheating the whole time. Well, I was just going to say, I've been doing this too long, Lou, to not see the signs. When a random girl I had never seen before pops up on Facebook as a suggested friend.

28:59Anna Williamson:I had an immediate feeling in my stomach. That's her. She had a bizarre name, so I clicked on the profile to take a look. Four mutual friends, all members of my ex's family. Interesting. I searched her name on Instagram, and their staring back at me in her profile... Oh. My. God. Their staring back at me in her profile photo was the man who at that time was still legally my husband at their baby shower. I ran, pants basically still around my ankles, to the bedroom where my partner was, gasping to put the words together. I knew it. I was right all along. He was a filthy, lying cheat. I was elated.

29:43Anna Williamson:I knew I wasn't crazy. I knew there was more to this story. See, you always trust your gut, girls. There is always more to the story. In my experience, that's why he was in a cycle of guilt. That's why he was faffing and fannying about. That's that classic behaviour, gaslighting, crappy behaviour. I'd always had niggling thoughts in the back of my mind that my ex was a cheater. From way back when we were 18, I'd never fully trusted him and he never did much to make me feel secure. Why did I stay with him? Because, honey, you're a trusting, wonderful person. It happens. Don't beat yourself up about it.

30:19Anna Williamson:we live in a small city and so my own so only a few messages had to be sent to my closest pals until someone had mutual friends and we had more information I love this sleuth work Lou the baby was due in under a month this girl had become pregnant around six weeks after my marriage ended my poor suffering husband who would let me take the blame for everything had knocked up one of his work colleagues within six weeks quite the impressive turnaround seeing as he still didn't know what he wanted three weeks into the breakup He didn't even have the decency to give me a heads up about this happening.

30:52Anna Williamson:What a great guy. Luckily, I was in quite a good place mentally and in my new relationship, so this situation didn't actually affect me much. Anyway, I continued about my life until the day before my birthday in July, when my best friend gave me the best gift I ever could have imagined. She'd been to an event on the weekend and was seated next to a girl she hadn't met before. They got chatting. She discovered this girl works at the same place as my ex and his new partner. Well, I mean, we really have settled in peeps, haven't we? The workplace gossip is that she was desperately baby hungry. Oh, she wanted to get knocked up by someone, anyone, just spam.

31:30She just wanted spam.

31:31Anna Williamson:And that she had picked him because he seemed like an easy target to manipulate. She had a live-in boyfriend who she moved out, and within weeks my ex had moved in. I'm sure I'm not the only one thinking it. Are you sure the baby's yours, hon? Hmm. There's a lot of workplace speculation over the time. I mean, what a mess, quite honestly. Now to the best bit. Ow! Oh! Oh! My God. I just wasn't expecting this part of the message. And now to the best bit. My ex-husband's new girlfriend openly loves eating men's arseholes. She once contracted E. coli from licking said arseholes. I mean, how do you know this?

32:18Anna Williamson:There's nothing I love to do more when I'm feeling down than imagining my very straight-laced ex-husband being summoned for his next arse licking and picturing him walking with an uncomfortable waddle due to his chapped sphincter caused by non-stop licking. He might really like the arsehole licking. I just don't know what to say about any of this message. this my friends is the perfect ending to this very long chapter in my life all this to say is Lufanians it gets better if you oh here we go if you're in a shitty relationship you don't have to be leave I wish I'd done it five years ago ten years ago things don't have to be dire for it to be bad enough to leave you get one life don't waste it on a mediocre man mediocre sex and a mediocre relationship so true my new life mantra what if it all works out it does that is very much it always works out Mel Robbins do you know what amazing message and i'd also just like to throw in on this one she's given me an arse licking face but i'm gonna throw this right on the other side i've met a very nice guy yesterday a man fanion um and i know we have so many of them that listen now and he uh is a guy and if he's listening now he knows who he is that is kind of and i want to say this happens the other way around as well statistically not as much but it does happen and he is in a kind of fairly new marriage and is feeling all kinds of just gaslit like weird shit and he does and I I've met this guy like about a year ago when he first got married and to say the spark had been kicked out of him is an understatement and he's feeling really unsure he's feeling really confused he's feeling like he's going crazy and that's what I said and I said and it does work the other way around if you are and I just said to him you have to listen to your gut there wasn't time to properly talk but you have to basically think am I getting am I fulfilled am I feeling respected am I treading on eggshells the answer to those questions you deserve more in life you really do life is too short it really is thank you for that message what a fucking rollercoaster that was that was a rollercoaster right we've got another message from a non so we've called you Sandra Slopgobble hello Luanamo I love the pod and all that jazz keep me in on and give me a granny porn name.

34:31I need to get something off my chest and would like your honest feedback from it too, please. I'm 39, have three children, a great husband and a fabulous little life. We have a nice house in the countryside with a full-time cleaner. No nanny, but that's my choice. Oh, living the dream. My husband is a dream. He shares all the children and life responsibilities with me. He works super hard and is very successful, meaning I'm lucky enough not to have to work. That's good. I found myself in a very niche, as that makes sense. Clichéd. Oh, clichéd position. where oh no oh god been there got the t-shirt i found myself in a very cliche position where i have fallen for my pt don't roll your eyes please i know i'm gonna roll my eyes but in my 17 years of being with my husband i've never cheated and i don't think he has either and i really don't think i will although there is a mutual attraction between us me and the gym bro the problem is i'm angry angry that i can't have both angry that i have to choose and to choose even for a little a while to fulfill my incredible need for this man would mean that I'm being unfaithful and a big old cheater we only live once and only a part of that is live with youth and health I can't see me at 65 dripping over my future and I know this wouldn't be a long-term relationship and I'm also not stupid that I might not be the only one in the gym that he's giving attention to my issue is that I can't stop not stop thinking about him he's constantly living in my head I've had sex with him in a hundred different ways in my mind.

35:59I'm walking around in an angry, horny, brain foggy mess. I don't want to ever give up my husband and children. I adore them and I don't want to hurt anyone. I feel like I'm hurting myself by always putting everyone first. I know that that's the right thing to do. Writing it down, I can see how petulant it sounds and how the easy answer is to get a grip and enjoy the life I have. But Jesus, it's really affected me and my thoughts. And it's been a long time already. I can't see it changing anytime soon i can't change my gym it's the only one in my vicinity and i genuinely enjoy going there for the friendships i've made i just don't know what to do i feel sad let me have it ladies thanks for listening appreciate all the advice you give to everyone and i love all the lufanians everyone has helped me grow as a person and feel normal do you know what don't do it because just don't do it it's you have such a lovely life and you're probably a bit bored to be honest like you don't work you're kind of a bit of a slave to everybody else like husband kids you're always putting them first and not yourself first and i would actually say do something for yourself that's not it doesn't involve having an affair because actually what you're craving is something of your own and okay this guy is kind of ticking a few boxes paying you a bit of attention but he's the symptom not the cause right yeah exactly and so i think like do something for yourself like go and um do something that's for you like i i have very much like my own hobby with like the horses they keep me so busy and and entertained and stuff and i do think that everybody needs to do something for themselves like you have your self-care days which you really prioritize and i think that everybody needs that thing it sounds like you haven't got that thing which is probably why you're um on this guy and i think imagine if you did it and everything got found out and your husband kicks you out and then you you've split up your family you are going to ask yourself what the hell did i do that for a probably a crappy shag where you could have given yourself a better orgasm this is a situation where the thought of doing it and that excitement way outweighs the actual acting on it and the reality of it i'm so with lou you will regret it i

38:13Anna Williamson:I totally get it. Look, and I speak here as someone who did basically have sex and marry my PT. But, you know, I'd like to think that I'm now celebrating. You were single as well. Yeah, and I'm celebrating my 10th wedding anniversary. And actually, it was me that pursued my now husband, not the other way around. Because actually, he, all right, but he will tell you. Cradle smatcher. But he will tell you, but it's career suicide because it is a cliche. It's a cliche for a reason. no offence to other PTs but a lot of PTs do have it off with their clients it's just like woohoo because like you say it's exciting I hate pervy PTs one of the things I love about Ted is he's not pervy he's so like chill he's lovely actually chill like he's not there's nothing in there like at all and Alex isn't a pervy PT at all but I've still got like some PTs I used to work out with that still message me really I've never shagged a PT no but also on the well I'm married one but my Alex as well I remember well he's obviously very much a fitness coach now he doesn't do as much face to face but the amount of most of his that's because Anna doesn't let him I'm joking of course he can of course he does whatever he likes but he gets hit on all the time like all the time because you know it's a position of kind of aspiration well and it's all sweaty and hot it's sweaty it's dopamine it's oxygen and to your point Lou you're bang on what this lady is craving and needing is an excitement You need some excitement in her life.

39:39Anna Williamson:You need some excitement. That's what you're lacking. Yeah. You're living a very lovely, no doubt, but very boring, monotone life where your days are the same. You get up, you do the same shit. You do it for everybody else. You're cooking for the kids. You're looking after the kids. You've got to clean a fire and you're probably meeting some mates for lunch, having a boring chat about boring shit at a shitty school gate. And then your hot PT comes in and you're like, whoa. Then you go to the gym and it's all exciting. Yeah. And you need to find a different outlet. I know. Go and do pole dancing or something that just like, I don't know, spices you up a bit.

40:14Anna Williamson:They go and have a really good frig. That's what I would do. Have a good frig. But I think we're all agreed, don't shag your PT. I think you're going to regret it. Unless you're Anna. Do you know what I was? Yeah, but I have a female PT now. But I'd say switch your PT up. Go for a woman. I have my Lilia and I don't want to have sex with Lilia. I've got Ted and I don't want to have sex with Ted. There you go. It's a much healthier relationship. It is. Right, another message. Yes, from Anonymous. So the Dordogne mistress. Hi, gorgeous ladies. I'm a recent captivated listener. She's captivated. She is, thanks.

40:46Anna Williamson:And this is my first time writing in, spurred on by my best mate, who thinks that you would love some of my work stories as a dominatrix. Yes. Hence, you can call me the Dordogne mistress rather than a porn name. Right, backstory. I worked as a dom in the UK for 25 years before moving to rural France to escape the rat race. Can I just say? Queen. But what rat race? You were spanking people for 25 years. The rat race normally, commonly refers to people in the corporate world. The city, yeah, commuting. Not someone fucking chaining people up and dominating them. Or kudos to you for moving to rural France and thinking you're in the rat race.

41:27Anna Williamson:But maybe the rat race in the world of doms is relentless. I mean, maybe it is. Who are we to know? it turns out there are so few there you go see this was the rat race she was exhaustedly turns out there are so few doms around that they travel far and wide to see me so still working anyway I digress following a recent return of a regular from Norway she's international she must be a good dom great dom 25 years in the game mate I'm telling you she's like she's legit pro dom right I was I don't actually work experience with her I'd quite like to be a dom you would be a good dom I'd quite like just to watch I'd like to do it I've never done anything like that I'd heard of the European road trip along with Madrid yes add her in I was reminded of his first visit this is the Norway guy back 11 years ago in the UK his fetish very niche I've heard of welly boot fetishes being trampled on, licking them etc But this guy took the rubber fetish to the next level.

42:34Anna Williamson:He wears shorts. He had handmade from a tractor inner tube. I always have to wear the same get up. A long rubber coat, a belt made by him from some tyre to which I clip some pipe. I mean, he's like farmer porn, isn't he? That he found on a railway track, which I later beat him with. Oh, I don't think I could do that. You could. Add to this, I'll get you in a shit mood. Oh, I couldn't. Add to this elbow length thick rubber gloves that look like something a vet would wear to help birth a fucking cow. In addition, size 12, yes size 12, I'm a nine, enormous bloody waders that go all the way up to my thighs that fall down and nearly fall off my feet every time I move.

43:18Anna Williamson:This does not sound sexy. Plus a gas mask. I want to see a photo of this. She's got waders on that she can't walk in that flap down. You see waders as well. like she's got a rubber coat a tie around her waist made from a tractor tie a gas spot so she says i look like some sort of terrifying bog dalek that sounds like darth vader so he likes it he loves it oh good for him that he's found his person he can do this one but the best is yet to come first time he came he asked can i please use wellies as my tits that's definitely a new one for me willies as tits so i pondered does one hold the feet ends this is what i'm thinking does one hold the feet ends to my chest and flail them against his face like waggle waggle waggle or do i hold the leg ends and then trample the face either sounding a fucking right malarkey at this point as the gas mask is my pits and bits are sweating a treat and frankly i can't wait to get to the beating bit.

44:28Anna Williamson:She's pissed off. She just wants to beat the shit off him now. She's like you've made me wear this fucking gutter you dirty filthy bastard. And it's genuine that beating. It's genuine. She's human. She can't fucking see. She can't breathe. She's human. She can't see. She's doomed. She's hot. She's sweaty. Anyway, turns out he liked me to hold the feet end then stick the leg holes over his nose to inhale the poppers that he put inside. okay anyhow he spends a good grand wow well now I'm in I was interested how much she got paid I was going to say what's the fee he spends a good grand each visit and I know the routine so everyone's a winner I'd do it for that Lou I'd totally do that latest client wants to be a cow jeez I've been wetting my pants coming up with some cracking fun with that one we need to be emailing this woman for more content I'll have to keep you posted lol actually we would say can we say now we'll dedicate an actual feature to you.

45:29Anna Williamson:Tales of a Dom. She's got 25 years, Tales of a Dom. Tales of a Dom. We'd like the cow anecdote, please. Message her back and say, we'd like to do a little feature. We'll do a mini feature to Confessions of a Dom or Tales of a Dom, right? Like that Belle de Jour. Do you remember that book? Yes. When Billy Piper played. We need the cow one. I wonder if it's like milking something. Like his balls. Like his balls. Or just you have to wear udders. But as a dom, do you touch the sexual organs and stuff or not? I don't know. I think it depends on... I don't know how sexual you get or if it's just dom or if you start like...

46:01Does it cross that line into orgasms and stuff? I don't know. Good point. Good point.

46:04Anna Williamson:Into orgasms and stuff. Maybe that depends on the dom. I don't know. On a serious note, though, it did occur to me that you may occasionally... Yes! Yes! ...value a bit of my experience for listeners who may have fetishes. So many people have fetishes. She says, I have an abundance. There you go. Send it in, please. We've just given you your very own feature. So send it all in to Luanna. at everythingloana.com. That is the email address as well for any of you to send in all of your anecdotes and shenanigans. You can also drop us a WhatsApp on 07745 266 947. Now this is an interesting new story and I'm kind of aware of it, but not totally.

46:42Anna Williamson:I'm really happy you put this in, because I was genuinely going to ask you to explain this, because I keep hearing about Jimmy Kimmel and I don't know the story. I don't know what was said, Charlie Kirk was assassinated in the last few weeks. And Jimmy Kimmel, he made a joke. I don't know, Emma, you probably know more. Do you want to do the story? Jimmy Kimmel made a joke and then basically they suspended his show. If you read the story, it will tell you the whole story. Do you know what I mean? The comedian Jimmy Kimmel, he's returned to his late night talk show on Tuesday because he was suspended for making jokes relating to the death of conservative influencer Charlie Kirk.

47:22So for those of you who don't know, Charlie Kirk was, I guess, not right-wing, more to the right than the left. He was right-wing. But he was big on TikTok and social media, trying to get more young people in, and he was quite anti a lot of things. But he was all political. Anyway, he was political and he got assassinated. Yeah, he got taken out. So Disney owns the broadcast network that airs Jimmy Kimmel Live, which is like a hugely popular American chat show. It suspended the show, Disney did, because it felt some of the comments were ill-timed and insensitive. They said, like, we've spent conversations with Jimmy.

48:02We've reached a decision to return the show on Tuesday. So Jimmy obviously got a bit of dressing down and Disney said that they'll bring the show back. What were the comments? I don't know. What were the comments? You'll get there. We'll get there. But what then happened is the comic's abrupt suspension came after threats by the federal TV regulator to revoke ABC's broadcast license, which then sparked debates over free speech because Donald Trump welcomed Kimmel's suspension and suggested that some TV networks should have their licenses taken away for negative coverage of him, the president, as well.

48:41but anyway obviously that all then blew up because they were saying that abc's decision was censorship a violation of free speech so he basically said he does he does like these monologues and he said that the maga gang which is make america great again it's trump side the maga gang is desperately trying to characterize this kid who murdered charlie kirk as anything other than one of them and doing everything they can to score political points from it. He also, is that all he said? He also made fun of Trump's reaction to his murder, showing a clip of the president responding to a question about how he's mourning the death by changing the subject to construction of the new White House ballroom.

49:27He compared the response to how a four-year-old mourn goldfish. that obviously pissed Trump off being called a goldfish anyway Brendan Carr who was a Trump appointed chair of the Federal Communications Committee it's like Ofcom basically in America so he's been Trump appointed he then threatened to act against ABC and its parent company Disney over Kimmel's remarks

49:53Anna Williamson:this spat also comes as the Vice President J.D. Vance and other White House allies have been pushing a national campaign to punish anyone who has criticized Kirk in the wake of his death um it's all a bit communist isn't it do you know what it all feels very um did you I don't know if you were ever interested American Horror Story there was a there was one season of American Horror Story which was scarily a few years behind its time because it's kind of all this it was all like yeah it's basically all this and it's really really quite worrying actually. Well they're basically, obviously this caused uproar because there were then protests in California.

50:35It was lambasted by the Writers and Actors Guild. Just basically people saying that the suspension violated free speech rights and it bears a chilling effect which it kind of does. And so many people then backed Jimmy Kimmel, Ben Stiller, Jennifer Anderson, Meryl Streep, Robert De Niro. They all said it was a dark moment for free speech in our nation. but the problem is is that this guy has been appointed by trump that's it and it's kind of

51:02Anna Williamson:like if you've got the president saying i'm pissed at you he he's gonna he's gonna win right um uh i mean look basically it was there anything else particularly important to mention on this so then he so then the show was returned to air yeah uh this week on tuesday and he did crying on it he said i do want to make something clear because it's important to me as a human and that is you understand it was never my intention to make light of the murder of a young man i don't think there's anything funny about it nor was it my intention to blame any specific group for the actions of what was obviously a deeply disturbed individual that was really the opposite of the point i was trying to make but i understand that to some that felt either it was ill-timed or unclear or maybe both and for those who think i did point a finger i get why you're upset if the situation was reversed there's a good chance i'd have felt the same way um he then did yeah hit out against trump and said about uh the president he did his best to cancel me but instead he forced millions of people to watch the show he kimball added that the president of the u.s made it very clear he wants to see me and the hundreds of people who work here fired from our jobs our leader celebrates americans losing their livelihoods because he can't take a joke i like that because even though he got taken off the air, he could have not said that and aired on the side of caution.

52:24But he thought, fuck you, I'm saying it. But do you know what?

52:27Anna Williamson:I'm with you and I think this is where we're in such a dangerous time. Particularly, let's be honest, Lou, with our jobs here in the UK, and I get where everyone is very sensitive at the moment. So, why is everybody so sensitive? Everybody needs to get a fucking grip. Take a joke, for God's sake. And I think when you're a comedian in particular, it is an incredibly hard job now to know where your line is because is it not, correct me if I'm wrong, subjective of who finds something funny or not? Now, I get obviously, yes, you don't want to then cross the line by being crass or make it. But equally, it's about just trying to take things with a pinch of salt.

53:08Anna Williamson:And I don't believe, and I'm pleased that Jimmy Kimmel's come back because I don't believe that someone should have their entire career ruined on what is a subjective comment. you can be offended but this is the problem I think now no one has a right to not be offended you can be offended like I've been offended by well actually I wasn't by you by all the recent you know nonsense around Trump peddling this paracetamol connection with autism you know it's a community I very much support for very personal reasons but and I did a big Instagram post about just going look you know what I laughed and eye rolled about it because it's just nonsense and you know I just chose to scroll.

53:47Anna Williamson:I don't feel the need to go in on it and do it. Some people do. And I get that as well. But I think the point is, if you don't like something, just accept that that's not your opinion and move on. But people can't, can they? And the thing is, it's just, I don't know. But it is, you know. It's good that Kimmel's come back. I kind of also don't really care. No. No. Sometimes it's just like, don't waste your energy. Well, that's what I said about that whole Trump power. I said something. thing i said to other mums i get i get it no one needs it but also just don't waste your energy just don't waste your energy scroll on by to another story well we are about to do that because sex offender chemical castration pilot has expanded so chemical suppress suppressants for sexual offenders are being trialed in northwest and northeast england as part of efforts to cut re-offending do you know how they'll cut re-offending chop their fucking dicks off the government had pledged to widen the existing pilot so they're piloting basically in four prisons in the southwest to 20 prisons following recommendations from the independent sentencing review and basically it's a chemical castration so the medication limits problematic sexual arousal and it restrains offenders who could be a risk to the public this is what David Lammy has said the expansion means that about 6 ,500 sex offenders Christ alive mate will be able to access medication alongside the psychological treatment to help change their behaviour and crack down on crimes such as rape, grooming and assault.

55:21Anna Williamson:Speaking at the start of the debate on the second reading of the sentencing bill, Lord Chancellor, doled MPs, a trial in southwest of England has been positive. Mr. Lammy added, while the evidence base is limited, it's positive and for that reason we will roll the approach out nationwide, starting with two new regions, the northwest and northeast, covering up to 20 prisons. It comes to spark the sentencing bill which is seeking to introduce reforms proposed in the sentencing review led by former Justice Secretary David Gawke to tackle jail overcrowding in the long term, which we know is a huge problem.

55:51Anna Williamson:I just think they need to build more jails. It also looked at ways to cut re-offending Why is there so many bad people? It also looked at ways to cut re-offending with one proposal to consider further use of chemical suppressants. Problematic sexual arousal can be reduced by chemical suppressants and prescribed medication, but the review highlighted the treatment would not be relevant for some sex offenders such as rapists driven by power and control rather than sexual preoccupation. Well, this is it. This is the thing you see. But then something. It's good because they're trying to do something, but what happens when they come out of prison?

56:24They haven't mentioned paedophiles in that. Are they not? Well, yeah, sex offenders.

56:34Anna Williamson:But I assume they are including that. I assume they're due paedophiles. that our paedophiles say it is a sexual compulsion that they have. Well, it does say grooming. Maybe they fall under sex offenders. So they, right, okay. So yeah, they put it all under that. But the thing is, once they're out of prison, well, you then are relying on that person to take the medication and to go and make the time and effort to see a psychologist. So how do you monitor that? Well, you monitor that for a probation service. And that would be part of the condition. Yeah, but I don't know. Honestly, I just think they're better off just putting them down.

57:12I mean, it ain't going to happen.

57:14Anna Williamson:But I think, I guess, that would be part of the probation service. I just think if you don't add anything to society, you should just be eradicated from society. Permanently. Well, there are some countries that do that. Why can't we just put them on a Scottish island? I'm pretty sure Scotland would not want to. Well, no, it's just one of those islands up there. It is a problem. It's got a way it's so cold. It is a problem. And on the complete 180 on that, I saw quite an interesting TikTok and Instagram about all of the Tommy Robinson marches with everyone going, no, make Britain hours, Britain, you know, and then it was like, it was for those of you that are, you know, saying, you know, we want our country back.

57:52Anna Williamson:The libraries need new volunteers. The food banks need extra people. Old people need extra help. The streets need to be cleaned. And it's like, if you're so pro - Make Britain great again, do something about it. Anyway, there you go. If you don't like something, do something about it. Change it. Right, it's now time for... It's the widow of the week. Sorry, it was really high. It was really high. Getting my headache. Sorry, mate. Right, Anonymous first. So, Ruby Coop. Hi, Lou, Anna, Emma, and Bex. Oh, Bex has been included. Congratulations, Becca. Bex has got promotion. She's not even here. Sorry, Al, you've not been included.

58:29Anna Williamson:We'll take you another six months. Please keep me anonymous, but I've given myself the porn star name Ruby Coop. I love the pod and are there jizz. Listen to the Totally Extra pod on the 18th of September about Bloody Mary squishing her reusable pants. I thought about that when I washed my reusables the other week. Not sure if this is normal or not. As a menstrual cup user, this could cause some gagging. I take my cup out in the shower and do a sniff test first. Because I have had it before where it's smelt really putrid. Imo, can you relate? No. No putrid smell for you. Imo's like, I am clean, thank you.

59:07Anna Williamson:Then I check the level to see if my flow is heavy or not. Then I just, I mean, I would do that. Then I just empty it in the shower and watch it goop out the cup and create a pool of blood in the shower as blood and shower water mix. I do have to touch some blood in the cup as sometimes the clots do stay behind when I rinse it. I do quite like to, every once in a while, I'll run the blood through my fingers when I pour it out in the shower just to feel the warm, slimy, goopy blood. I want to make sure the blood's healthy, ladies. This is Ruby Coop from Cape Town, South Africa. Wow, all the way from South Africa.

59:37That's rank, Ruby. That is rank. We've got another one in, so moan a lot. Moan a lot. My parents are in their 60s. My six-year-old daughter and I have a game we play in the car. There was a TV show filmed in our era a few years ago, a crime-style show with a dead body, and a comment was made by a character that there weren't enough places in our area to actually hide a dead body. Nonsense. While discussing the show in the car one day after driving past an area where a dead body was actually found, we all proceeded to start pointing out good places to hide a dead body. Can't they do this with Alex?

1:00:09Including my daughter who gave some good suggestions. A new favourite car game was created, the dead body game. Not the best idea for a wholesome family game and I'm waiting for the time which tells a teacher at school about all the dead bodies, but I'll deal with that later. Despite the actual dead body, we do live in a lovely area. I can relate to this.

1:00:27Anna Williamson:On our last trip back from the lakes, we were driving over this wilderness. We said that on our road trip. And I was like, you can bury a body. That's a great place for a, you know, you'd never find anyone. Alex and I do do this. Really? Maybe we're planning our own. Fred and Rose. We're not joking about that. But yeah, it's like a weird car game. Well, I don't think that's weird because I do it. It's the blood shower cap. I do that. I think I drive past places and I just feel like, oh, that would be a good place. But it never is. Because you know why? A dog. A dog always finds a body. Always a dog and a dog walker.

1:01:00It is. It's always a dog and a dog walker. They get everywhere. Very annoying.

1:01:05Anna Williamson:Yeah. Although, please don't go murder people and bury them in random places. Just keep it as a game. Let's stop that conversation now. Anyway, I'm not going to rant. My rant is going to be, if you haven't subscribed to our YouTube channel or our podcast, why the hell haven't you? Because we know that loads of you listen and loads of you watch but you don't press that subscribe button. Naughty! So please do it because it really means a lot to us. It means that we can keep the pod coming to you every week on YouTube and on wherever you get your podcasts but especially Global Player are wonderful bosses.

1:01:41So please, if you're listening and you haven't subscribed press that tiny little button in the corner. It really makes a difference. And while you're there

1:01:48Anna Williamson:please make sure you subscribe to our YouTube channel as well share the videos comment on them you were saying global she just didn't listen to a word I said did she you said global oh sorry I didn't hear that bit so that is my rant Anna doesn't fucking listen to a word I say all she does is waffle on about a load of shite and not listen anyway we'll be back here on Monday you don't have to wait until then on Thursday we do have Luanna Tati Extra also last week we had episodes of Luanna every single week. You're always asking for more. We delivered it. So go back, listen to those. It won't be a regular occurrence just so you know all those ones.

1:02:26It was quite a lot. I was very tired, very tired. You can send your emails in to us, Luanna at everythingluanna.com.

1:02:34Anna Williamson:Sorry. Jump onto WhatsAppage. Send us a voice note or a message. The number is 07745 266 947. Now I did listen to Zisman. She's already said this. So don't say it again because we just talk about how much you waffle on. But we do need... It's important. We've had meetings about this, Lou. We've got to say it. So, we do need you to give us a five-star review, please, my lovelies. We would very much appreciate it. And just to reiterate it, do please follow YouTube and the pod. We love you. See you Thursday. Adios, amigos.

1:03:13This is a Global Player original podcast.

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