" How could explain that I was not about to do something really weird and criminal?!"

18:25Anna Williamson:I'm moving into my gardening era. Who am I kidding? Shall I ask him? Yeah, I would. You can have some Champneys 2 hydrangeas. That would be lovely. Anyway, how was it? But it was great. So we got there. I say, Al hijacked it. I say, I was a bit disappointed. I was like, oh. I did wonder why I'd not been invited. Well, that's why. And I was like, oh, do you really want to come? He went, well, I have never been to Buckingham Palace. I was like, yeah, but you don't like these work events. It is a flex, isn't it? That's what he said. Yeah. But did you know that these garden parties, they happen come rain or shine.

18:52Anna Williamson:They do not cancel them. There is no... You just get wet. You just get wet. Is there a marquee, though? There are a couple of marquees, but... But not like a big, fat marquee? No, there's like... They're quite big. Yeah. But so we rocked up to Bucky P. So when you rock up, most of us, well, I don't actually, but when you go to Buckingham Palace, it's like got all the thing and then there's like the front. Do you just walk in? You do? Yeah, you walk in the front gates. You do, you go through those gates. So every time I've been, yeah, it's through the front gates. So they've got security checks, obviously.

19:30Anna Williamson:But you do, yes, just go straight through. It depends. So do you just walk up with your invite and like, hello, been invited by the king? Yeah. Oh, that's really cool. But you get a QR code like now. And you have to bring ID. You have to bring two forms of ID obviously to get in. And then once you're in, you're in. And so we walked into Bucky P and then you kind of go around into the gardens and they are really beautiful. I mean, they are stunning. And it's very grand and I love it. It is so as if you always think if I was a non-Brit tourist coming here. How you'd imagine it. How you'd imagine.

20:02Anna Williamson:it is literally that you walk in and then they're playing and you know there's the dudes in all their posh uniforms playing the royal brass band and all of that everyone's you know trotting about trumpety trumpy actually the king's in a very good mood because of his recent America trip everyone's you know lording him up yeah he's in a very good mood so anyway then the king comes out at a certain time and that's lovely and we all stand up and you know salute and sing God Save the King and then we trot around and it's lovely. Then we have a little sarnies and scones. Very good afternoon tea at Bucky Pee.

20:37Anna Williamson:Really? I'm not a big afternoon tea lover, have I? Well, that's a good thing then. Al was up there about five times. You know what he's like with his food? Embarrassing. That's one time too many. Yeah, two times. Yeah, well, you say embarrassing. So as we, I blame Makeup Joe for this. Yeah. So when we went, I went, oh, check the weather, Al. He was like, it's going to be showery. I was like, get a brolly. So I then get a brolly out my car, which I really like my Union Jack umbrella, right? Very nice. It's very patriotic. As they're walking out of the end, Makeup Joe goes, Al, why are you taking your Nigel Farage umbrella?

21:08Anna Williamson:Right. So then Alex then gets the front end and goes, why is it now that the Union Jack is a symbol of being far right? He was like, it's a patriotic brolly. Well, let me tell you now, Al brandished that brolly round Buck Pal with pride, right? Going, no, it's a British umbrella and I'm enjoying my umbrella. So it then got dubbed by the people we were with is his Farage Broly. Everywhere around was the Farage Broly. But it was a very nice day. It was very nice to see people. Yeah, just lots of all the other ambassadors. It's all a lovely royal hurrah. And then, I'll just quickly touch on it as well.

21:42Anna Williamson:And then it was, this wasn't a royal thing, although the king and queen were there. I then took my dad to Chelsea Flower Show. It's been Chelsea Flower Show season. I didn't go and I really like it. Had you been before? Yeah, loads of times. I'd never been. It was my... You've never been to Chelsea Flower Show? It was my first time. It's a really lovely thing to do. If the weather's nice, do you have nice weather? It was nice. Well, Papa P, I took Papa P because he loves his gardening. And you know what? I'm making a bit more of an effort of spending time with my parents. Is it because you think they're going to die soon?

22:13Anna Williamson:Well, you just don't know, do you? I should make more effort. I'm perfectly honest. Well, I mean, my dad's coming up to 80 now, you know. Thank God no, he looks good. He's not an 80-year-old. No, he's still got a long time on this. And he's so cute. He's got a long time outside, don't worry. Thanks, babe. I hope so but he loves a bit of Chelsea Flower Show and what I particularly loved about my dad I get a lot of my just kind of like laughing eye roll whatever from my dad mum's a little more uptight dad's a bit more laissez-faire but we're going around and there was he turned into the best bag bitch ever because there were quite a few people that wanted pickies which is like lots of Luanna fans which was lovely so he'd go give me your bag you look a mess give me your bag he was like the driver Dave he's just like driver Dave normally we get driver Dave to hold our bags.

22:58Anna Williamson:It was Dad. He also, Dad had a satchel. He likes to wear his leather satchel with his... Very refined. Oh, he's a very refined man. And he was wearing a brogue, although he went, I think my shoes are pinching a bit. I was like, you need to wear a... Dad doesn't do trainers. He's an English gen. Yeah, but he could wear a... A sort of casual shoe. He needs a wide fit. He does. He does need a wide fit. Why don't you buy him some loafers? A loafer would be... I think I've asked him this. I don't... He likes a lace-up brogue. But I'm like, you need to just, like, calm down on your brogues pots. Or why don't you buy him those stretcher, shoe stretchers?

23:29Anna Williamson:Well, I might branch him into it because he was starting to limp towards the end of the day. Oh! And this is what I love about my dad. So then there was a particular garden that we loved. A big shout out to our friends of Luanna, Love Honey, right? Yes. Love Honey did a garden. Wow, what was that like? It was the Aphrodite's Hothouse. Very subtle, very... So it was basically a big kind of... Lots of reds and... I don't know how I feel about Love Honey being at the Chelsea Flower Show, to be honest. It was a great installation. They'd worked with a flower designer. It was very, very subtle. But anyway.

23:59I just don't. I just think that's lowered the tone. No, I can't. I like the poshness of the Child's Flower Show. This was honestly stunning. I'm not sure a sex toy company should be there. It was so stunning. Did they have like pink fleshy lilies and things?

24:12Anna Williamson:It was just really sumptuous. No, it was beautiful. Not a lily, an orchid. That reminds me a bit of a fanny. Yeah, a fanny. It was so brilliant. But then I took Dad round and I said, Oh, look at them. Our lovely friends at Love Funny. They were very, very kind, very welcoming. And they said, can we show you around, you know, our garden? And they had the greenhouse and they were taking you on a sort of a sensual journey. With your dad? It was with my dad. So obviously, dad went, oh, what is this company then? Love Honey. Oh, no. And I was like, dad. Did you get him a dick pump? It's like, oh, God.

24:43Anna Williamson:I went, this is why I just love my dad, though, because he just couldn't stop laughing. And I went, oh, it's sex toys. And he went, pardon? I went, it's sex toys, Love Honey. And he went, oh, right. He went, what, like dildos? I went, yeah, that's right. And he went, oh, well, you know, takes all sorts, doesn't it? So anyway, he was just walking around and there were some pussy pumps on display. No. Just very subtle. No, very subtle. I'm not into this, Chelsea. How do you, what do you think, Emce? You wouldn't have known. You wouldn't have known. What's to say it's not high class, a bit of sexy time?

25:12Exactly, Emce. I know, but I just. It was done so beautifully. Trust me, it really was. I'm very open, but I just feel like. No, it was good. I promise you. I don't really want to see a pussy pump when I'm walking around Chelsea Flower Show, even if it's hidden in a rose bush. Like, hunt the pussy pump. I just don't think that's right. It's not for you. Well, honestly, he loved it. And I'm a big love honey fan. If you want to send me free things, please send me a clip-sucking toy.

25:37Anna Williamson:I've got one of those, actually. It's really good. Anyway, Papa P loved it. Loved it. Loved it. So anyway, that was my... It's been a busy few weeks, but I'm looking forward to just kind of... Having a little settle in now, peeps. A little settle into June is what I think. Well, right. Shall we crack on? It's time for... It's the Reco-Seco, the Reco-Seco, it's the Reco-Seco. Ba-dum-bum! Right. Who wants to muff-hunt him first? You can go. Right. I'm going to go... Whilst I think of one. Well, you could take my first one because that might be a double one. But I'll take my... No, you can... Well, I'm going to...

26:13Anna Williamson:I have actually got quite a lot of Reco-Secos and I'm having to narrow them down. I'm going to give you two, actually. Can I give you two this week, girls? No, just save it for next week. No, but I've got even more for next week. Well, no, well, then you're going to have to pad it out. You're just going to do one. First one then. Okay, only one for this week is Rivals. Disney Plus. You know I'm a massive Rivals fan. I loved it. Oh, I loved it. I did the launch for the last series. Second series is back. They're drip feeding it. They're tantalising us. But Rivals 2 is back. Disney Plus. It's an absolute Bobby Dazda.

26:46Anna Williamson:You always worry, I think, when you get a sequel. Is it going to be as good? Oh, they have smashed straight in. I didn't know it was out again. That's because they didn't have you do the bloody... Well, they very kindly invited me to some activations that I haven't been able to do. But I'm loving it. As a genuine fan of Rivals, of Ginny Cooper, the sex is back. RIP. And what I love about Rivals, going back to... We're having a bit of a sexy day today. But what I love about Rivals and their director and their writers is that for every female nudity, there is male nudity. And everybody is getting their kit off.

27:20Anna Williamson:You've got willies and dingly dangles. No, do you see actual cock? Oh, the two sexy polo player twins. Oh, look, she's closing her eyes. Oh, they do a running bomb into the swimming pool, butt naked. You see those dinghalls flinging around. Oh, she's really loving this. Oh, it's so good. She's been frigging herself. Can I just say, side note, whoever casted those twins is the best casting director ever. Are they actual identical twins? Identical twins. With big dicks. well nice ones but but they are just as i imagined them when i read the book and i love it when casting cast as you imagine it so yeah rivals for me uh disney plus it's out now that's my go on then im mine is a book yeah that i finished this week it's called remarkably bright creatures it's by a lady called shelby van pelt it is about an old woman an octopus and other things it's about grief and it's about love and it's about an octopus and it's fabulous no it's really good an octopus i mean you haven't given us a dud one yet so and and it's now a film on netflix okay called the same thing well i might be able to watch the film what's her face in it sh-sh-sh-sh-sally field oh yeah yeah so yeah maybe give that a read and a watch because it was really good and I cried on the jubes so remarkably bright creatures wow that's embarrassing for you so we've got a TV show we've got a book I'm going to do a travel recommendation oh because I did fly to Dubai recently now normally I don't fly first class however I flew first class it was amazing everybody should try it wow that's my record they gave me Dom Perignon, they offered me caviar.

29:10There's quite a big difference between business and first. Really? Which airline? Emirates. Obviously, there's a shower, spa that you can book into when you're on that. I mean, how much would it set Juan back for a first class

29:23Anna Williamson:ticket to Dubai? Well, I guess it depends on the time of year that you're booking. What, ten grand? Return probably, yeah. Do you reckon? Well, I just paid it. I think, yeah, mine was like eight maybe. I actually don't know why I thought it would be more than that. Well, so did I. I mean, I'm not going to lie, it's very expensive. And then I thought, I'm flying in and out over two days. I had to land and work and get there and do meetings all day. So I had to arrive refreshed. You don't have to justify babes. No, do you? So anyway, I am recommending that everybody now flies first class, okay? That's my record for this week.

30:02It's totally unrelated and I really don't give a fuck, but there you go. So if you can, then do. And if you can't, where there is a will, there is a way. Exactly. I think everyone should have the chance to fly first. Do you know what? I did get upgraded for free once. Did you? Yeah, from Amsterdam. Oh, my God. And I was in business and they called me to the front and they were like, we've bumped you up to first. And I was like, wow. Can we just... I think it's because I was travelling on my own. Probably, yeah. Someone probably wanted to pay to upgrade to business. And then...

30:27Anna Williamson:So then they bumped me up as a lone traveller. There is nothing... And I have been fortunate enough as well myself. I don't know if you have Ims as well, but I don't think there is anything more brilliant and sweet in your life than getting a free upgrade. And it happened to me and it was an LA leg, which is a long ass journey. Oh, it's long. That's an 11 hour flight. And I did the same thing and I was flying for work on my own, got there and they said, we've upgraded you to upper. I literally, I don't think I've ever enjoyed 12 hours so much in my entire life, especially when you go, it's for free.

30:58It's so good. And can I say that when they like make your bed for you, they put a mattress down and it is like a memory foam mattress and then there's a proper duvet i mean like it was i mean it was nice has this happened to you free upgrades i want to hear

31:15Anna Williamson:stories i i've not been up upgraded but i have been with my wife and she has been upgraded without me oh and she she took it of course she bloody did i mean let's be honest though we'd all take it we'd all take so off she went trotted off to business as i was sat there in uh back in would you do it though would you have done it well yeah 100 yeah exactly yeah you've got it you can't no one can knock a free upgrade anyway there you go recos for this week tv show a book and a travel who says halloween only lasts one day with wayfair one night of halloween becomes a whole season at home. From larger-than-life yard decor and moody lighting to festive accents for every room in the house, Wayfair has what you need to make Halloween feel like magic all in one place.

32:07Anna Williamson:Because the best Halloween memories aren't made in just one night. They're made all season long. Shop Halloween decor now at Wayfair.com. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home. Right, let's move on into messages. First up, message from Anonymous. so dicks erect. Fuck's sake. It wasn't me. Hi, ladies. Love the pod and all that jazz. I still chuckle whenever I hear that being read out as I know how much it annoys that one woman. I wonder if she still listens. I wonder. It's probably not. We say all that jazz so much. It's probably fucked us right off. Yeah. I have a pretty cringeworthy interview story for you.

32:49Anna Williamson:One where it came back to me whilst I was up doing the night feeds with my baby the other night. oh what lovely memories sleep deprivation brings you oh I don't not for me oh I couldn't be asking that oh no I've been having good that hypnara I tell you I'm absolutely oh babe I take it I saw you looking like a smurf do you know what what a bastard what a can I just talk about this so Alex posted the other week can we just say the video of Anna like this obviously wasn't set up at all no it really was not she was like making herself hypnara I like it hot you now like it hot the sleep tea that Alex the sleep tea that Alex developed developed and is out now i think it's hypnara.com or google it hypnara h-y-p-a-r-a basically anna is there in her pajamas and slippers making this like hypnara what a state you looked so bad so bad i was like whatever those pajamas tracks it what is that you need to take that and burn it it's like a nurse's outfit not even for donation okay it's terrible where is it really comfy from Amazon.

33:51It's awful. It's really comfy. Like I like a cheap pyjama. Do you know what that is? All of my pyjamas are from like Timu and Sheen.

33:57Anna Williamson:But do you know what that is? I actually bought that on a quick whim You paid money for that. for a flight and I wore it as my flight outfit like pyjamas. No, that is even worse you've worn that out in public. No, in the seat. It's awful. You change it in the toilet It's awful. It is like a blue smurf I don't know. Like it's sort of like half prison outfit half smurf outfit. It's sort of like the sort of thing that they give you when you're arrested. Did you see the slippers as well? Yes, the whole thing. And I just thought, fuck me, he's proper shafted her. And then I thought, he must really love her because he's posted that and he's actually thought that you look all right as well.

34:30So love really is blind, I thought. But I was like, God bless Al, he's just posted that and he's not realised how dreadful you looked. Can we burn the outfit? I'm going to buy you some, and I do cheap PJs, but I'm going to get you some nice cheap ones.

34:47Anna Williamson:Okay, they have to be the right material though. Not that like silky one. You want cotton. Yeah, I like a flannel. I like a flannel pyjama. I like the sort of linen-y feel. Can I just say, I did say to him, I did challenge him about posting that. I was like, oh, you bastard. And then he was like, oh, do you want me to take it down? I was like, no, it's fine. And I went, he went, oh, you can fuck off. The amount of stuff in the past you've posted of me taking the piss. And I was like, oh, he went, it bites when it's back at you. But I did look at that video and go, you could not have got me looking more unattractive if I tried.

35:17Anna Williamson:Well, it wasn't your face. It was just the outfit and the slippers. That's all I could focus on. I actually didn't even really look at how you looked. I was just like, wow, that is one outfit. If you want to see just how horrendous I look on my own time. Has he made it a grid post? Yeah, yeah. Go on Hypnara. Stop. And comment. Go and comment. Oh, he's properly done you in. Yeah, because I was like, where have you posted that, you git? And he's done it on H-Y-P-N-A-R-A. It's his very good sleep supplement. I've had a terrific sleep. Have you seen it, Emo? Yeah. I mean, look at me. It's so bad. It's so bad.

35:49Anna Williamson:This is so bad. If I didn't know that I can look good, that would bother me. The prison smurf at work. It's really bad. Awful. Awful. It's like those shorts that you and Alex took off me at the end. Oh, those fucking shorts. Yeah. Honestly, you do need some guidance. You can see your nippies too, babe. Can you? I mean, that's quite sexy seeing the old nip. I love that you've honed in on that. Oh, there she is. There in the corner. Right, anyway. Oh, carry on. Let's carry on with Dixie Rex. Dixie Rex. Look at Emma. She's proper staring at your nips on that. Would you have a little... I've got quite good nipples, actually.

36:24Anna Williamson:Alex does say I've got good nips. Wow. It's a saving grace in my marriage. Emma is salivating. Just watching. It's so funny. It's like she's like... With the washing up on the side as well. I was like, oh, my God. I was like, that's what I said to my husband. I was like, babes, you need to be trained in social media. Stop showing our private life quite as transparently. Thank you. No one needs to see the bloody washing up on the draining board. And the little bin in the corner. My little food bin in the corner. I mean, it's just the blue. It's just giving state. I'm happy to accept that, guys.

37:01Look at your nipples. Oh, my God.

37:04Anna Williamson:Show me the nipples. I told you. Show me my nipples. Look. Wait. Oh, my God. I look like a nurse. Look at your nipples. Oh, my God, my actual nipples. Wait for it. And a double chin. Wait for when you turn around. Oh, my God. And they're wonky. I told you. They're wonky nipples. Oh, for God's sake. Oh, the little recycling bin on the corner. What's that? Oh, it's a little candle. Trying to de-smell. Brilliant. Oh, God. Anyway. Anyway. Right, Dixie Wrecked. Here we go. For fuck's sake. We're smashing it. So back when I was 17 or 18, I left home to live with my then boyfriend, who turned out to be a complete and utter knob.

37:43Anna Williamson:But at the time, I was so head over heels for him, I'd do anything to be with him. So that meant moving out of my parents' house to live in his uni shared house. It was awful. That's a whole other story. Yeah, bad. So, of course, leaving home meant I needed to get a job. I saw an advertisement for a worker at a children's soft play slash activity centre in the shopping mall and thought, perfect. It looked like it involved doing some dancing and singing activities with the kids and felt that would be great for me as I loved both of those things. Good person. I applied and I got an interview and I was so happy about it.

38:12Anna Williamson:I got my best smart clothes on. Gave myself a little pep talk and walked in super confident. I had this in the back. An energetic 18-year-old, enthusiastic and joys working with kids. I mean, what a great part of the team I could be, I thought. When I arrived, I got led into the back room by two of the managers. There were no chairs but an empty room filled with colourful playmats and so we all just sat on those. That's so awkward. A bit awkward. already. It's so awkward. Can you imagine that? Like cross-legged, like a child. Just like that. So, tell us your strong points. It felt a bit awkward, but I thought, you know, let's just see how the questions go.

38:49Anna Williamson:Well, the questions went fine, from what I remember, until they asked something which really took me by surprise. Please, can you sing something for us? It's like a sketch. What? Sing? This wasn't a question I prepped for. I mean I know you guys sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star but it's not like I need to be the next Beyonce to be able to get the job and sing nursery rhymes for the children surely I sat there for a while feeling super on the spot trying to think of a song they were probably expecting me to sing something like Bar Bar Black Sheep but instead I remember I said the first song that came to her mind the first song that came to her mind you're my girl is I Dreamed a Dream from Les Miserables So I'm currently sat on a, oh, I can tell you, sat on a playmat, full on belting.

39:38Anna Williamson:I dreamed a dream in time gone by. While staring at these two strangers who also look quite taken aback and pretty awkward. I think that was the last of the songs on their list that they would have expected me to sing. I remember after I'd finished, it was just a few moments of very awkward silence, a bit of giggling. and my face like a tomato. Can I just say, I'm just keen to know, Ims, you're a musical theatre enthusiast. Especially if she really got to the big crescendo. She must have done that. That's why she looked like a tomato. Sorry, I just farted. No, she just, no, she just, no, come on, wait a minute.

40:18She just belted out that note from the song and pushed so hard. She farted. You literally just, that's what you just did you just drank so hard that you then rose off your seat in a car

40:38Anna Williamson:sang so hard I turned into my nan anyway after a few awkward moments of silence and a bit of giggling and a face like a tomato safe to say I didn't get the job but it's a funny cringeworthy memory to look back on. I now as a 30-year-old mum of two happily run my own business creating pet portraits and greeting cards and I still love to belt out I dreamed a dream whilst I work in my studio. Hope this gave you a chuckle. Oh, it did. Keep doing what you're doing and a big thank you for always being a place for me to go to when I need a laugh, when I need it the most. You're welcome, honey. I dreamed a dream.

41:23Oh, don't. Right, we've got a message from Anon. So Minerva. Minerva. She just wanted an old lady's name. And we go back to that. Okay. That's it. Hi, ladies. I'm not sure what I'm really writing in for, but I'm not sure if it's for advice or just to be able to empty my own brain. Come on, girl. Whichever it is, here goes nothing. Please keep me in on and give me an old lady name. Firstly, I'm going to add a bit of background. My lovely mum, unfortunately, has dementia and has for a while now. That's horrible. Growing up, my mum has always said she would never want to go in a care home and for years we kept her home.

41:59I cared for her whilst trying to navigate becoming a parent for the first time. Things started to ease when we got a care package in place for my mum at home and everything was going great. With a great team of carers involved and the pressure I felt started to ease on myself and my dad. Fast forward to last year when my dad told me he had developed feelings for someone. At first I had an understanding and told him that nothing was to change for mum and nothing to happen around her or in the home. My mum struggles to communicate but can be very clear in her body language and emotions. When I was seeing my mum, she would tell me that someone was in the house and straight away changed to angry any time there was a mention of my dad or if she saw him.

42:45I was then informed that my dad was in a relationship with this carer and she was spending the night regular oh my god that is so shitty that's not only inappropriate it's cruel that's so cruel that's evil let's see how it unfolds oh my god at this point the company informed me they were removing her from the care package which i agreed um and that was what needed to happen for my mum I was told that my dad wasn't happy and calling me all names under the sun, bastard, bitch, I was heartbroken for my mum and in utter shock that my dad could do this to her and me after all that I had done. I spent my 20s trying to keep two homes going, caring for not only my little family, but also my mum and dad.

43:32And this is the way he repaid me. Months of not talking and not seeing or asking about his grandchild. I get a call off him to tell me my mum was in A &E after a fall. I rushed to my mum's side to find my mum on a bed and my dad's new girlfriend holding my mum's hand. When I asked why it took so long to contact me, there was no response other than that his girlfriend saying that my dad was in two minds of whether to call me. Now, my mum's in a care home because she is unable to be in her own home. And them two are playing happy families in my mum's home that she worked hard for with my dad. He can't be bothered to ask about his grandchildren, but can spend days with his girlfriend's grandchildren.

44:12I have always said the door will be open for him to have a relationship with my daughter. But the more time that's passed, the more I actually can't think of anything worse than him walking about and into my daughter's life. I can't understand why they just feel like they haven't done anything wrong. My mum is unable to walk away from the relationship with my dad and he's more than happy to keep all the power over her. How can you talk to someone who thinks that everyone else is wrong and they're right? Thanks again, ladies, for giving us the space to open up. gosh this is really tricky because i feel like everyone deserves to be able to end a relationship that they're not happy in um and he probably obviously doesn't want to be with your mom but felt like trapped to be with your mom and then i just i don't know this is so horrible for me what

45:05Anna Williamson:this comes down to really is respect and that doesn't feel like there's any respect going on for the look whether we like it or we don't and look I'm also old-fashioned I was just gonna say I really stand by my marriage vows you know in sickness and in health and to your point Lou like but there is a power imbalance here she is sick and look it is really hard it's very hard we want to you know of course being a carer for somebody or someone who is sick I've got a very good friend of mine whose mum is is terribly terribly unwell with uh dementia in her home and you know it's very difficult for her dad um you know who who who hasn't got it but you know he's seen his wife's slip away in adverted commas you know and it's and it's very unfortunate but I think what this has done it has naturally questioned um everything you feel about him the relationship with your mum Your mum is still very much here.

45:57Anna Williamson:She's just unwell. So essentially he is having an affair. He's conducting another relationship. And he's just thought, oh, well, she can't. He's gone and started a new life and just left the wife. That's so mean. But it's so disrespectful in the fact that this is a woman who was trusted with the care of your mother. I know. And so this feels like a double betrayal. I think I'm curious. I don't really know what you're asking for from this message because I think at the end you said, how do you speak to someone like this um I guess my when you when they're they think everyone else is in the wrong and they're in the right I think my question to you is what do you want to speak about ask yourself because I don't know what advice to give to you I think from the sounds of this you want your dad to recognize you obviously feel rightly so that your dad's behavior and handling of this situation is inappropriate and it is inappropriate because if you wanted to end the relationship with your mom he should have ended the relationship and walked away and not essentially moved another woman into the house with the mom there and then now she's in a home like that's really really shitty and then this other woman's now in the home and I recognize and I do agree that that is bad that's a bad way to behave I don't think you're ever going to get what you want from your dad which I feel is that recognition of do you know what I didn't handle this correctly but actually he he might turn around and say I've been unhappy with your mum for like 15 years and I deserve a chance at life as well and or maybe and there could even be and I'm not saying this is right or wrong but again it could be also his way of coping with losing and inverted commas his wife and maybe there's something going on for him it's hard isn't it because they're still alive but you are grieving a loss that's like the awful thing about dementia is that yeah that person isn't that person anymore people often say they die twice yeah they die that first time and then when they really yeah and that is so my friend is in so sadly in a position where yeah you know her mum her mum has gone so to speak but but she hasn't so it's a it's a terrible listen I actually don't think you're gonna get what you want from this which is your dad to you want your dad to turn around and say yeah I've been a cunt basically and I don't think that he's going to do that and I think that you just need to carry on and focus on the things within your control which is your mum's care and your family and if you don't feel like you can have a relationship with your dad at the moment then I don't really blame you and I hope that that does come back around but the ill feeling that you've got about her, the new girlfriend's grandchildren and your child and your dad's grandchild I it's hard to it's hard to get over something like that and I don't I don't really it's very well I think exactly what you said I think you can only really focus on you you can't make someone change but you can always tell someone how you feel so maybe that's even what it is you just say how you feel about the situation from your point of view and you don't even need a response sometimes and if it's easier write it down yeah send it in a send it in a letter in an email um and i think that's probably a good thing to do is you can unload in a very um try and do it in a fair articulate yeah not too overly emotional way just to talk about how you feel and then once you've done that the ball is then in his court and i've done that i did that quite a while ago that there's a family member of mine that oh it's complicated but again there's there's some friction there and uh and there's not a lot of two-way conversation going on so i just did exactly that let them know particularly how i felt about the situation where i was also drawing my boundary but keeping it open-ended but also in a this is where i draw the line now you you do you over there i'll do me over here but but that's you know the door will be open i think maybe do that Good luck.

49:59Please keep us updated. And listen, we wish you and your mum all the best. It's horrible.

50:06Anna Williamson:Message from Anonymous. So, Philippa Holt. Philippa Holt. Philippa Holt. Philippa Holt. Philippa Holt. Ims, look at how happy she is. Hi, Luanna Movex. Love listening to the pod. Please keep me an on because I have a clever job where I'm still trying to persuade people I'm not a complete idiot. I have a silly story that might make you giggle. Last year, my pony, who I've had since I was 16, I'm 30 now. Oh. ended up having to have his willy removed due to cancer. Ouch. For those of you that don't know what a cancer infested horse willy looks like, it's rank. It looked like a nasty, stinky brain.

50:40Didn't Madrono have bum cancer? Yeah, melanoma's in his bum, that's why he died.

50:45Anna Williamson:Awful, so sad. Best in peace, Madrono. Anyway, the vet came out and told me that it was likely cancer and she would consult the surgeon, but in the meantime recommend that I go and buy this thing called KY jelly. She said to apply it as it will help to see if there's any infection separate to cancer. I had never heard of this KY jelly. Never heard of KY. Wow. OG lube, huh? That's like the 90s lube, babes. And so I asked where I could get it, thinking it was some sort of antibiotic cream. Without any hint whatsoever, she told me I could get it from Boots. So off I went. It was nearing five o 'clock when my local Boots closes.

51:17Anna Williamson:And so I phoned them to check that they had this cream before I rushed to get some. A woman answered the phone and I asked her in my serious but friendly telephone voice. Oh, hello. Do you happen to sell a product called KY Jelly? She said yes, and I did. And so I said, brilliant, thank you. It's for my horse. And I know... Brilliant, thank you. It's for my horse. And I know you're about to close, but I'll be there within 10 minutes. With the benefit of hindsight... Anyone seen Animal Farm? With the benefit of hindsight, I should have known from her reaction something was off when she politely, but with a hint of surprise in her voice, asked, for your horse.

51:54Anna Williamson:I said, yes, I'll be there in a minute. Thanks so much. I rushed into the store some five to ten minutes later when they were just sending their last customers off when I waltzed in boldly announcing as the woman approached me expectantly, hello, I just called about the KY jelly. She took me straight over to where the KY jelly was shelved. And it's then when I realised the horrific error of my ways. There I stood facing a whole display of yes. You got it. Lubes. I looked at her. She looked at me. Silence. In that moment, I frantically thought about how I could explain myself and make it clear that no, I was not about to do something really weird and criminal.

52:28Anna Williamson:Bestiality. Bestiality. Do I explain? Do I double down that yes and I will be applying it to his knob? Is that worse? Do I show her a picture? Would that freak her out? But then at least she knew for sure the lube was for a genuine medical emergency. I decided against showing the picture as I reasoned that she might think it's weird that I had about 10 pics of my horse's brain knob at different angles on my phone. To be clear, only because I'd set them to the vet when asking her to diagnose his brain knob. Horsey girls, you'll get it. I do. Anyway, I told her it was vet recommended and off I went.

53:03Anna Williamson:It's vet recommended? I can't show my face in my local boots ever again. P.S. Basil, that's the horse I guess, had a successful op and was back to his usual cheeky self in no time. I want to see one of those animal communicator people. I went to see one of those animal communicators someday, but I'm slightly worried what he might say. God knows what my poor boy must have thought when he woke up after that one. Cute pic of the boy for your eyes only attached. Oh, he's a lovely boy. Oh, he's a lovely horse. Poor Buzzle Noob. Oh, dear. What would you have done? I think I would have gone into full Anna over explain at that point and gone.

53:37Anna Williamson:Now, I think you probably might think I want to shag my horse, but I don't want to shag my horse. It's actually because of the vet and he's got cancer on his dick. That's probably what I would have done. Do you want to see his dick cancer? That's what I would have done too. Yeah, I'd have done that, yeah. But it is still for a snob. Yeah. It's a wholesome story. Thank you. Thank you. Remember, if you want to get in touch, you can email us, Luana at everythingluana.com. You can also drop us a WhatsApp on 075-215-64640.

54:07Anna Williamson:Newsy bits. So lots has been going on of recent times, but we went down, me, Imo and Lou, we do have our WhatsApp chat. And you always know when something starts to really percolate with us, when we start nattering about it on our chat before we bring it to the pod. And that has been the Maldives scuba tragedy. It's really weird. Well, I didn't think of it weird until you girls started going, oh, have you seen the conspiracy theories? So if you haven't heard of this, guys, it's really, really bloody tragic. And actually, I'm not joking, when I was reading the news and watching some of the videos, I actually had a bit of a panic attack, like a claustrophobia panic attack.

54:44Anna Williamson:I would never dive. I've never been diving. Oh, I have. Yeah, I have actually. I really think that like the sea is for like mermaids and people without legs. It's not for us dickheads with a tank on our back and some flipfers. I really don't like fucking with that world. I went scuba diving in St Lucia. And yeah, I'm always thinking about where's the shark? Yeah. Where's the shark? I don't even like the small fish, to be honest. One thing I hate, sea cucumbers. Oh, not good. Awful. Not good. Anyway. But this story, yeah. So basically it was, you might have seen it, some divers, essentially in the Maldives, went to do a deep dive mission and they all died in it.

55:26Anna Williamson:It's so bad. It's really bad. They were Italian. It was five Italian scuba divers and it was in a cave. And when you start reading into this, you realise how deep and dangerous this was. And cave diving, this is what we've learned, is totally different. Whole new ballgame. To like a normal dive. That is like specialized. You need different equipment. Yes, different training, different coast guards that are present with it. And then what's even more sad is that the authorities recovered the bodies of the five Italian victims. But also during the rescue operation, the recovery operation, not rescue operation, the Moldavian military diver, he also died.

56:06So six people, six people died on this.

56:09Anna Williamson:Have now died. so the body of Italian dive instructor Gianluca Benedetti who was uh who's believed to have been the group's guide he was recovered on the same day that the incident occurred um and he's been returned to Italy for an autopsy which I think we're still waiting for that um now the uh Maldives National Defence Force staff Sergeant Mohamed Mohadi is also under investigation under investigation well I thought who knows I mean basically I think it will just be like an autopsy to see yes how he how he died and what happened. Because there's now been a culpable homicide investigation launched.

56:44Yes. So basically what people are saying essentially is that the group, so you get permits for dives, right? And in the Maldives, that permit, you're allowed to dive up to 50 metres. So that's the recreational limit is normally 30 metres, which is mandated by Maldavian law. they had this permit so they could go 20 meters deeper to 50 meters um they were given a permit to look at the soft corals as part of the um university of genoa like they were they were

57:21Anna Williamson:very highly trained divers and i and they had a lot of uh experience in they wanted to look at the ecosystem so it was a it was a mission to sort of uh a research mission basically is is what they went down to um but then to lose point and this is where you start going down a bit of a tick tock rabbit hole and um the one that imou sent us was really interesting of a lady that is also a diver and when you realize because i think this is the thing to your point lou i think oh my god scuba diving really really scared but there are so many strict laws and regulations around diving you don't just whack a tank on your back um and and and hop down there right like equalizing yes and apparently like you have to have the concoction of the oxygen.

58:03Nitrogen and oxygen. And the deeper you go, the less time that oxygen lasts for.

58:08Anna Williamson:And you can get narcosis, which is a drunk feeling if you go too deep. But so this dive, it appears, they went to depths of 200 feet. Which is 60 metres. It's nuts. And lots of people that are divers that have been talking about this who have obviously been saying how devastating this is, but they've also been saying this is, that was a suicide mission from the beginning. And these are experienced divers and something along the lines of, they were like, even diving under below 130 feet is considered highly dangerous and risky. So what quote unquote, what the hell were people doing diving in to 200 feet and in a cave?

58:46Anna Williamson:And then also, as you say, Lou, when they say about kicking up sediment, the darkness, the claustrophobia, I just couldn't, it would just, I mean, I have a great deal of admiration for anyone that does that kind of work and that kind of hobby. They just didn't have, but what's weird is what people are saying is that they would have known that they didn't have the right equipment for a cave dive because they were experienced divers. So why would they? And do we know they definitely didn't have the right equipment? They didn't have the right equipment. It was leisure equipment, was it not, Emma?

59:20Anna Williamson:Yeah. And also there's other information coming through that the paperwork wasn't in order on the boat that they had. Well, they've had the license suspended now, the boat thing. But there's so many speculative theories about the cause of the incident. People are saying, was it a surge in the current causing what's called a Venturi effect around the cave's entrance? The weather was bad, wasn't it? The weather was bad. Yeah, the weather was bad. So has that effect caused the divers to be pushed inside and then unable to escape? and have they got it's just awful run out of oxygen one of them was with their daughter and they're saying why would she put a daughter at risk the entrance to the cave is between 180 to 190 feet down so that's nearly double what their permit allowed and that extends down to 330 feet so why if it was the weather and the current were they even anywhere near the entrance yeah because they should have only been at 50 feet.

1:00:15Anna Williamson:Now, also where the conspiracy theories keep churning out as well, and I would hasten to add, I'm not suggesting this, but also when you hire this equipment, there's a lot into the servicing of it. You know, where did the oxygen tanks get refueled? Had they been refueled effectively? You know, who had been dealing with the equipment that they had been given to use on the die, which I think obviously now is where the investigation, because everything is going to be looked at to see if anyone is culpable. But to point out to you, five people died. All of them that went down died. And then a sixth person turned the recovery.

1:00:53That's terrible to try and recover. And then he dies as well. That's awful.

1:00:55Anna Williamson:Wasn't there one diver who on the day when I ain't doing that. Because of the conditions. I'm like, I'm backing the fuck out of that dive. It's not good. And she did and she is still here. But it's quite, I mean, it's obviously very tragic. But I think it's always interesting these things. off the back of, oh, my brain. What's the submarine that imploded? Oh, I can't remember what it's called. I've got my brain work today. Ocean Gate? Oceana, the Ocean Gate. I think when these things, I mean, the ocean scares the shit out of me anyway. I'm not a fan of this thing. It scares the shit. But I think it brings it back into this point in that it is, my granny always said this, like, because she grew up on the seaside.

1:01:35Anna Williamson:They always lived in the Devon coastline. And it's so true. She would never underestimate the power of the ocean. I know that sounds such a witty, like, knobby thing to say, but it's true because when you are in there, it is such a beast. And I think when it comes to all of these sports and all this investigation, you just can't mess about with it. Well, they've now found their cameras, so that camera footage will also be analysed. And just, yeah, watch this space. This will be a Netflix movie, won't it? Yeah. Right, let's move into slightly lighter territory with it's time for It's the Widow of the Weaker.

1:02:11Anna Williamson:Right, so first up, Anonymous, so cass roll. I've heard a cass roll. Cass roll. So, Halo Animal Bex, Alan Crumble. I'd like to nominate my husband for Weirdo of the Week. Every so often, when we're getting into bed, he will decide he wants to swap sides. Oh, no, that would be a hard no. I like my side. It's a definite no. For no other reason than he just fancies it. No. It completely throws me. I'll get used to one side, organise all my bits on my bedside table, give it a month or two, and he's jumped into bed the opposite side. This is weird. Fuming. Divorce, quite honestly, guys. Do you guys have a side of the bed?

1:02:44Anna Williamson:Yes. Should I get over myself or is he a weirdo? I'm on the left and Andrew's on the right. And even when Andrew's not here, I'm still contained on the left. And I'm on the right and Alex is on the left. No, if you're looking at the bed. Oh, no, I'm on the left. Alex is on the right. So if we're... Oh, yeah. If I'm in the bed... I'm on the right. I'm on the right. Yeah, I'm on the right. Yeah. Right or left? If I'm lying in the bed, I'm on the left. You're on the left. Oh, you're a leftist. Can I just say, on pain of death, does Alex change over? Do you know why as well? Even when we go to a hotel, we still keep our size.

1:03:12Anna Williamson:Still keep our size. Funny, isn't it? You've done it with these little habits. But also, I'm not saying my husband's dirty, because he's not. But I don't want, like, Alex's bed smells. Well, he's a man. Skiddy in the bed. But he's got big hair, and there's always, like, hair oils in him. I don't want his pillow. I don't want his pillow head on my pillow. I don't want Andrew's dribble. No. Right, we've got another Kaz. As Weird of the Week nomination also felt her partner Anna Jackie P. We had a nice lunch of Jackie P with coleslaw and cheese. No peens, no peens, illegal. Sacrilege. I turned around and witnessed him pick up his whole jacket potato with the filling and all, and he just took a bite out of it like you would an apple.

1:03:53What a legend. What a legend. Not only was this the weirdest thing I've seen recently, but it's also also is the sign of a future fucking psychopathic behaviour I mean I'll be honest

1:04:09Anna Williamson:mate I think that's actually legendary behaviour I'm not into that I can get into that two hands stuck it in the face it'll be all hot though and burny hand burny no I like a good knife and fall I'd say Emma you'd face plant a jacket for Jackie P I wouldn't say no do you know what we should film for Luana Luanna challenge hands behind back Jackie P who can eat it first that's a good challenge also I feel like there is some mileage in a Jackie P smorgasbord buffet situation yes maybe we could like a flight yeah and maybe we could invent a new Jackie P filling maybe we just can't fuck with perfection no you can't fuck with beans and cheese who's the weirdo of the week then so I mean I'm fine with a Jackie P guy I still yeah I think the bedside is weird for me.

1:04:59That would really throw me. If Andrew suddenly... I'd be like, no. How dare you?

1:05:04Anna Williamson:I'd be like, move. Move. Also, they make it all hot. I know. Hot. They've just got big bodies. My husband's so big. He's just big. Alex is massive. Yeah, bed. Bed. Bed. That's the weirdo of the week. Congratulations. That time of the week, Lou, are you feeling ranty? I'm not feeling ranty. I'm feeling good. It's my birthday. Woo-hoo. The end. That's it. And you're going to go and do lots of horsey stuff. I'm just going to play with horses and KY jelly. That is it. Don't worry. We will be here every Monday. Of course, you don't have to wait until then because on Thursday we do have Luana, Totally Extra.

1:05:41And we always need you, our wonderful Lufanians. Please do send your emails in. We're on Luana at everythingluana.com. If you get any emails from scammers, please report the bastards. that is the only email that you'll ever get from us we don't have a Gmail or anything it is Luanna at everythingluanna.com you can also hop onto WhatsApp send us a voice note or a message our number is 075215

1:06:08Anna Williamson:64640 do make sure you have followed our podcast guys really important top right hand of the corner now we'd like you to share this pod with a friend maybe you've got a favourite clip some advice some love some lols please share the eps and whilst you're there we would really appreciate a five star review on your podcast app. It really helps us. We'll see you Thursday, my darlings. Bye-bye. Bye. This has been a Global Player original production.