In short
Luana Totally Extra episode mixing dating icks, petty reasons to dump, confessions, listener stories, and a “Try Something New” drink tasting.
Guests
No named external guests; the hosts are Louisa Zissman, Anna Williamson, Imogen Rosa Zissi-Earson-Hart, plus “Lou’s/HD brain” voice in the corner.
Key claims
A Lego House on a date is debated as either the “world’s biggest ick” or “super cute” romance; one listener “ghosted” after a full-sized working Lego house was built. Petty dumping prompts include “cheese feet”/“foot parmesan” ideas and “shit gifts” like football pyjamas.
Notable examples
Italian funeral entered by mistake; a woman refused a date due to a partner named Lindsay (they later married); “pity shagging” as a joke response to icks; a toddler confession involving loud sex causing HOA complaints; HR confession sending a disciplinary letter to the wrong person. Also: tasting Y.E.W sparkling waters (pickle, rhubarb, apple, grapefruit).
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOPity Shagging and Dating Icks
0:45 to 1:58
Discussion on the concept of pity shagging and experiences with dating icks.
“Everyone, Lou and I both walked into recording today.”
Luana the Big Party Announcement
1:58 to 3:45
Details about the upcoming Luana Big Party and how listeners can participate.
“We've got people flying in from America.”
Funny Funeral Story
3:45 to 4:58
Listener shares a humorous story about a funeral mix-up with phones.
“Kelly has done for our first message to kick us off.”
Dating Name Confusion
4:58 to 6:39
A listener recounts a dating story involving name confusion and its humorous outcomes.
“You can just imagine how adamant she was.”
Jokes Segment
6:39 to 8:05
Listeners share jokes with the hosts, adding humor to the episode.
“A man called Lindsay I know a man called Lindsay Well it's like my mate Dr.”
Evil Edna and Petty Ideas
8:05 to 10:10
Discussion on petty actions and a suggestion for a new segment involving petty deeds.
“I wrote in with the previous third lyric inspiration to do with third lyrics.”
Lego House Love Story
10:10 to 13:10
Listener shares an embarrassing story about a romantic gesture involving a Lego house.
“Why don't you put your cheese feet in the recycling bin?”
Reflections on Romantic Gestures
13:10 to 14:00
Discussion on how romantic gestures can give the ick or be seen as sweet.
“She says, please keep it on and I pray he doesn't listen to the pod.”
DIY Adventures and Relationship Quirks
14:00 to 15:32
Hear about personal anecdotes of love expressed through DIY projects and unique gifts.
“So like now, like Alex, like I said, the other night he was up at two 30 AM sanding our bloody staircase, which doesn't even need to do, but he was doing it because he loves us, our home and whatever.”
Petty Reasons to Break Up
15:32 to 16:36
The hosts discuss humorous and trivial reasons for ending relationships.
“Yeah we're gagging for it is back with a vengeance.”
Show all 19 chapters
Imo's Try Something Fun: Pickle Sparkling Water
16:36 to 19:00
The hosts taste-test a new pickle-flavored sparkling water and share their reactions.
“Because we were too cheap to pay for a hotel, so we'd stay at his.”
Autumnal Drink Requests and Sparkling Water
19:00 to 23:24
Discussion on autumn drink preferences and shout-outs to a sparkling water brand.
“I'll drink out the can and you two can have vessels.”
Shit Gifts and Holiday Surprises
23:24 to 25:06
Listeners share stories about disappointing gifts received during holidays.
“This is moving on to a shit gift, which that was not, from Anonymous, so Eunice.”
Challenge Luanna: Noisy Contest
25:06 to 28:00
The hosts engage in a fun challenge to make the most interesting noises.
“it can only happen it can only happen right it's time for Challenge Luanna and that's the Challenge Luanna Will it be Anna or will it be Lou?”
Silly Impressions and Studio Fun
28:00 to 29:30
The hosts engage in playful impressions and noise-making challenges.
“You sounded like a tricking and getting it up the bum.”
Setting Up Future Challenges
29:30 to 30:49
The hosts discuss the next challenge involving creative drinking vessels.
“Well, to be fair, the seal impression was superb.”
Listener Thank You and Life Updates
30:50 to 32:36
A listener shares a heartfelt message about overcoming personal struggles.
“So Fanny Flaps, do you want to do the honours?”
Dot's Update and Farm Adventures
32:36 to 34:33
Dot shares news about a new platform for farmers and asks about ticket availability.
“note from dot next dot oh good dot dot dot cool uh good friend dot oh it's dot back yeah oh good Oh, Dot!”
Confessions Segment: Embarrassing Stories
34:33 to 38:50
Listeners share hilarious and embarrassing confessions, including a noisy encounter.
“Dot, for tickets, but you know, there are a couple people reselling.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:02This is a global production. Be warned, it's Luana and this podcast contains honest, upfront opinions, rants, bants and general explicit content. But, you know you love it.
0:13Anna Williamson:I would get the massive ick, but then on the flip side, I'm like, that is super cute. This is where I'm different. Go on. I would just pity shag him till he dies. There you go. That's the thing with me. There's a charity shag right there. I mean, that is me. How do we think I racked up so many numbers? That's how. Oh dear.
0:39Anna Williamson:It's Thursday. You know what that means? It is a Luana Totally Extra day with... Me, Louisa Zissman. And me, Anna Williamson. And... Me, Imogen Rosa Zissi-Earson-Hart. And me, the voice in the corner. otherwise known as Lou's or the HD brain listen guys this is your episode of course it's extra rants extra chat extra confessions stories extra you if you are not following us yet on your favourite podcast platform and subscribing on YouTube then what are you waiting for please do it now please follow top right hand corner we'd be trez grateful if you are watching on YouTube I haven't got a dirty face like everybody keeps saying I have had skin boosters and have got a couple of bruises on my face and I have not been up a chimney being a chimney sweep.
1:29Anna Williamson:Everyone, Lou and I both walked into recording today. I've been Dr. Norad, who does all my skin shiz. I've got a bruise on my cheek. She's got a bruise on her forehead. We are a walking advert for tweakments. I thought she'd been cleaning the fireplaces or something. She does look like a little urchin, little Dick Van Dyke. Chim, chimney, chim, chimney, chim, chim, chim, chim. Well, from, okay, I can't even segue that. We're going to be sweeping to Luana the Big Party. One month to go until Troxie. That was really underwhelming. One month to go. This is it. Luana the Big Party. We've got people flying in from America.
2:06Anna Williamson:We've got people flying in from all over the place. Guys, this is Timbuktu, possibly. Is Timbuktu a place? It is. Do you think we could go there? We can go there if you want to. Where is it? In Mali. In West Africa. I thought it was more Asian. No. I thought, when you said that, I thought Tibet. Guys, this is your opportunity. If you are coming to Luana the Big Party, either the matinee or the evening show, we would love your shout outs, please. You get an opportunity to say hello to yourself and the people that you are with in the audience. So please send them in, in the subject heading, put Luana the Big Party.
2:47Anna Williamson:Divorce party. I hope someone comes that's having a divorce party. Baby announcements, engagements, anything like that. Please define whether you're at the matinee or the evening. Image and housekeeping now. How would you like this sent in? I would like title, Troxy shout out, lunch, Troxy shout out. Just AM or PM. Thank you. That's better. Yes. And then obviously in the body of the email. The shout out. You can say. Can I just have a request? Do not write a paragraph. it literally is shout out to Kelly and the Birmingham girls in the room who are celebrating Kelly's divorce yeah or shout out to Claire who's three months pregnant from Stacey you know it's not like a whole story because if you do that we won't put it in because they're kind of in the top of the show as we open the show yeah got it thank you guys I'll send them in to Luana and everythingluana.com which is exactly what Kelly has done for our first message to kick us off.
3:50Anna Williamson:Hi girls. Right, I've just listened to an episode from a few weeks ago about a lady who wandered, oh this is so good, who wandered into the Italian funeral by mistake. Now this reminded me of a funeral story involving my mum and my sister. My mum's neighbour died and my mum was going to the funeral. Now my sister went to my mum's house to use the printer just as my mum was about to head out. At the time, why is that making me laugh, the printer? At the time, my mum and sister had the same mobile phone and case. Now my mum picked up my sister's phone up on the way out of the door, not realising that her phone was already in the bag.
4:20Anna Williamson:After half an hour or so, my sister had finished using the printer and began to look for her phone. Nowhere to be seen. So she rang her phone from my mum's house phone. Oh no. So in the middle of the funeral service, a mobile phone starts to ring. Her mum won't know it's hers. People are turning around and staring at my mum. She starts protesting that it's not her phone as she's turned hers off. Then someone next to her says, well, it is coming from your bag. So she opens her bag and sees my sister's phone ringing. Needless to say, she was mortified and had a lot of angry family staring at her tutting.
4:54Anna Williamson:It could only happen to my mum. Anyway, love you girls. Hope it made you smile. Kenny from Lancashire. You can just imagine how adamant she was. Not mine. Not mine. Not mine. No. Well, it's coming from your bag. Like, it's not mine. It must be yours. Yeah. Looking around. You know it. You know it. All the way through the eulogy. Brilliant. Right, what's next, Lulu? Sexy names from Lindsay. Hi, guys. Just listening to the section from a week or so ago about dating somebody or just refused to date them because of the name. Oh, yeah. So I thought I'd share my story with you. 26 years ago, and I can remember because it was obviously year 2000, and my friend suggested that I go on a date with her then boyfriend's flatmate and I refused point blank because of his name.
5:50Anyway, eventually she did persuade me and I'm kind of glad she did because 26 years on, we are still together, married with three children. And the reason I didn't want to date him was because we have the same name. So you can't really keep me anonymous for this one. it's Lindsay married to Lindsay needless to say none of our T kids are called Lindsay or have it anywhere in their name and yes I did change my surname to the same as his when we got married so we have the same full names which causes lots of entertainment for people who don't know us thankfully he does have a nickname that I call them by that everybody calls them by or most people do but yeah it's a source of entertainment anyway I just thought I'd share that with you love the pod and all that Take care Bye just now Thanks Lindsay
6:39Anna Williamson:A man called Lindsay I know a man called Lindsay Well it's like my mate Dr. Hillary He's got a female name Hasn't he? Old Hills Old Hills I saw this thing I don't like a guy called Lindsay I know a guy called Lindsay I was like Why is it that all Unisex names Are traditionally man names? Like Sam Alex Yeah Well it's not Lindsay's not And Hillary Lindsay and Hillary And Hillary Indigo is a unisex name Is it? Well, there you go. Like it. Like it. Right, joke from Charlie next. Hi, Luanna, Imo and all love the pod. Now that jazz. Long time listener here and a straight man fan here. Hi. Been loving the joke segment on the pod recently, so I thought I'd share one that I never get tired of.
7:20Anna Williamson:I bought a Christmas tree. The salesman wrapped it up, put it on my car and said, are you going to put this up yourself? I said, no. I was thinking the living room. Charlie at Leeds. Very good, Charlie. This is good. Oh, Georgina sent one in too. She says, hi, Luanamo. A couple of bad jokes for you. What do you call a magician who has lost his magic? Ian. Magician? Magic Ian. Read magician. Oh, what do you call a magician? Magician who has lost his magic? Ian. Oh, I like that. Lou, not so much. A sheep drum and a snake fall out of a tree. Badum tss. Badum tss. Okay, that's good. I've got a joke.
8:03Thanks, Georgina in Scotland. I've got a joke.
8:04Anna Williamson:Go on. What do you call a one-eyed deer? No idea. What do you call a one-eyed deer? With no legs. With no legs. Still. Still a one-eyed deer. Still no idea. Still no idea. Well, okay. Right, Evil Edna from Sophie and Sam. Evil Edna. Hello, you lovely lot. I just had an epiphany. Is that what it's called? It is. It's Sophie. I wrote in with the previous third lyric inspiration to do with third lyrics. And now I've got an idea for another segment. So you know you do your petty poly? Yeah. I was thinking, what if you did an evil Edna segment of what you think you could do to be like extra petty? The only reason I think of this is because, it's going to sound gross, gag warning maybe, I don't know.
8:56I was shaving my feet the other evening. No, not that kind of shaving. As in the dry skin on the bottom of my feet. And I've just poured it into the lovely new smelly small bins that we've got for the food waste. And I was thinking... Why don't you put your cheese feet, your feet cheese, into the small bin?
9:19Anna Williamson:Sorry, there's some commentating from my husband in the background here. That's what gave me this idea, honey. so I looked at it in the food bin and thought why did I put it in there for one and then I thought you know what it looks like go on parmesan parmesan yeah we were all there so if you really really really disliked someone or had a cheating partner or something like that I wouldn't do it to my lovely hubby don't worry he's in the background that's why I'm saying that out loud no joking I wouldn't but if you had someone that you really really wanted to irritate and not let them know about it and be petty about, like, changing their toothpaste and stuff, you could put foot parmesan on their pizza.
10:06I haven't done it yet, so it's just an idea. But evil Edna ideas, maybe.
10:10Anna Williamson:Thank you, Sophie. Love the fact that I'll be featuring. Features. Why don't you put your cheese feet in the recycling bin? I think that's good. Petty poly that can move into an evil Edna. Like that. Right, Ick from Anonymous. So, Ed, she don't want you, hun. Ed, she don't want you, hun. Ed, she don't want you. Yeah. Okay. Hi, ladies. Love the pod and all that jazz. Listening to this week's pod chat about icks. That gave me the ick, that intro. Did it? Yeah, it did. Has brought back one of my deep, dark, repressed teen memories that I need to get off my chest. I was on the rebound after getting dumped and my heartbroken, and heartbroken by my first ever boyfriend.
10:50Anna Williamson:And I started seeing a friend of a friend. Now I could tell from the off that he was way more into me than I was. Turning up at my house with gifts, texting all the time and of course changing his Facebook status to in a relationship. Oh, that is keen. I'd happened to mention one day that I liked Ed Sheeran's new song, Lego House. Nice song, that. Something I would love to regret, live to regret for when the next time I arrived at his house. All lights were off and he told me to close my eyes. As he walked me through his house, I could hear Lego House playing in the background. Oh, he's romantic.
11:19They're only teenagers.
11:21Anna Williamson:Wait for it. Open your eyes, he shouts. It was then that I saw it. He'd made... Oh no, this is really cute. I'm sorry. Oh my God, wait for it though. He'd made a full-sized working Lego house, complete with light switches, furniture and little models of us in it. He was so proud. My heart was pounding, my toes were curling and my vagina shriveled up right there on the spot. I fumbled. Oh, I'm really toying with my emotions here, guys. I fumbled my way through the rest of the evening and then I ghosted him. That is so mean. Do you know what? That is something like my little Enzo would do that for his future girlfriend.
12:06Anna Williamson:You were about to say loser, weren't you, before she said that about Enzo? She was, I could tell from her face. You could say he's a loser. No, because Moe likes a bit of Lego. There you go. I do think it's quite romantic, but I also do understand. I would get the massive ick, but then on the flip side, I'm like, that is super cute. This is where I'm different. Go on. I would just pity shag him till he dies. There you go. That's the thing with me. It's because you're... I'd be like, oh my God, he built a Lego house in the wallet. I'm now forever in his Lego debt. You are in his Lego debt. And there's a charity shag right there.
12:42I mean, that is me. How do we think I racked up so many numbers? That's how.
12:48Anna Williamson:Lou's been pity shagging her way through life. She says, to this day, I die a little bit inside if I ever hear Lego house and I feel guilty if I ever think about it. Am I just a cold-hearted bitch or am I right that building someone a light-up Lego house is the world's biggest ick? Well, I guess if you're on the receiving end of it, I think I would be icked out, I'm not going to lie, but I also think it's really sweet. She says, please keep it on and I pray he doesn't listen to the pod. Love, Ed, she don't want you, hon. Oh, don't be mean to him, though. like I'm just thinking now like okay okay let's be real on your first date with Andrew if you'd walked in and Andrew had built you a Lego house with full lighting rig and a miniature you and him in it what would your first reaction be?
13:32I would think it was quite sweet and romantic so if I walked
13:35Anna Williamson:I'm just thinking now if I walked in on my first date with Alex I'd be like oh my god that's so creative and amazing like I would so if I if I I'm now probably going to sound it's the sort of thing that I would do well maybe this is I think it depends how into them you are. If you're not really into them and you think they're being a bit full on anyway, and then that happens, you're like, but if you're into them, you'll be like, but also I think when you, when you get to know them and all their wonderful, like just personality nuances. So like now, like Alex, like I said, the other night he was up at two 30 AM sanding our bloody staircase, which doesn't even need to do, but he was doing it because he loves us, our home and whatever.
14:11Anna Williamson:So if I was to walk in and he had done me a Lego house now, 12 years in, I would go, babe, that's really cute. If he'd made like Nick Denso's Lego and made me a Lego house. I would be like, oh, you little doofus, you little geek. But I would have found it really cute. See, like the other night, Andrew took me to a yarn shop in Dubai. It didn't shut till 10pm. We were in there at nine, bought so much yarn. Then I couldn't sleep all night and he kept waking up, seeing me awake. He was like, are you okay? And I was like, I'm just so excited about the yarn that I've put away in the wardrobe. I just don't know whether to crochet on it.
14:44Anna Williamson:I was like, these are your people. See? You should have married my husband when it comes to that. Oh, no, you'd be a nightmare. You two wouldn't go to sleep. You'd be up doing your DIY at three in the morning. I went to sleep last night, well, about 11 o 'clock in the end, and I woke up briefly, 2.30. He's the, hmm, hoovers on, I had earplugs in. That would be me. That is me. He's like, I can't. I went, why don't you just go up at five and do it? And he's like, nope, nope, I'm into it now. Yeah, because you're locked in. He's locked in. I mean, when we first bought this house, I remember I really wanted to tile the wash bay of the stables and I can tile so I was like I just need to do it.
15:17I drove up, there were no beds in the house. I drove up in my horse lorry. And did it in your horse and slept in your horse. To tile and then slept in my horse. Andrew was like are you okay? And I was like I'm just so excited. Anyway we would love more of your pettiest reasons to dump someone and we are gagging for them.
15:34Anna Williamson:Yeah we're gagging for it is back with a vengeance. So what are they? The pettiest reasons to dump somebody. Send them in. We'd love to hear them on our socials. Bex will do a little socials question box, I'm sure. You can also send them in to Luana at everythingluana.com with the, we're gagging for it, pettiest reasons to dump someone. Do you have any confessions, guys? Have you dumped anyone for a petty reason? Well, that guy did buy me a doorstop, remember? Oh, yeah, that does go back to that. Can I just say, I thought about you and one of your ex-boyfriends the other day because I bought a small collapsible step for my kitchen so I can now get to the top of his pantry.
16:10Same boyfriend that bought the doorstop.
16:11Anna Williamson:Well, I have to admit, that's part of a package. It's a good step. I've still got the step. It's a good step. I've actually, I've still got the step and I've still got the doorstop. So maybe I should have kept him. Well, maybe not. You wouldn't be living in this enormous house. True. He did grow weed in his spare room. It's not a you. You don't like drugs, Lou. So you're a hard no for drugs. My poor mate, we used to go out in London and stay at his and she'd have to sleep in that room. she'd be high as a kite in the morning. Because we were too cheap to pay for a hotel, so we'd stay at his. Literally.
16:45And then she'd wake up in the morning like... Done, babes. Because we didn't do, like, weed, and he just loved a bit of weed.
16:55This is Imo's not-so-new Try Something Fun time. Oh, yeah. Oh, nice. Oh, yeah, I forgot about this. The cool box is back.
17:03Anna Williamson:Oh, OK. Oh. I thought we were doing a little funny, noisy thing. That's a challenge, Luanna. That's different, isn't it? Oh, fine. Right. Well, I was contacted by a lovely lady called Claire. Right. Yeah. And she wondered if we would like to try a Bevaragino. Right. Is it nice or gross? Well. Because we know what my gag reflex is like. Well, the main reason was because they, she's talking about a company called You, Y-E-W, you that do flavour sparkling waters a la Dash kind of thing. Yes. Delicious. We're in. Anyway, but they had a new one and me being me, I was thrilled to get this through. Go on.
17:45Anna Williamson:Imo loves this. Please send your things into Imo. It's pickle flavour. Oh, I've wanted to try this. Pickle flavour sparkling water. Yeah, I've heard this is, well, I didn't know you did it, but I've heard this is the new drink now. The pickle juice. Pickle juice is like the new Pickled gherkin juice. Yeah, baby. Well, you know, because you do pickle... Who made it famous, the pickle juice martini? It was someone like Taylor Swift or someone like that. Oh, no, but Dua Lipa does pickle juice in her Diet Coke, and that is also delicious. Sorry, it was Dua Lipa. Because it's like lime, kind of. Kind of, but pickley.
18:20Sort of pickley-ginegary. Anyway, we've got some lovely pickle sparkling water. I did say to Claire that I couldn't guarantee we'd have good reactions to it. So she's also sent me... The rest of their range, which is rhubarb. Oh, I love rhubarb. Apple. Oh, I love apple. Nice flavours. And yuzu get grapefruit. Oh, I bet I like that one. I love a bit of yuzu. Oh, maxi rhubarb. We'll do pickle and then we can have the other one. Should we get little cups to pour them into? No, I haven't. Because I don't want to like share spit from a can. It's like an ick. Let me get some cups. She's got a mug. Hang on.
18:57Anyway, these have been sat in my kitchen for weeks and I've been chomping at the bit.
19:03Anna Williamson:Oh, I've got a vessel. I've got a vessel. It's fine. I'll drink out the can. Yeah, Emma can drink out the can. I'll drink out the can and you two can have vessels.
19:13Lou's giving me a dusty mug. I've got a dusty mug as well. Okay. I'm going to crack open the... I didn't even know we had those. I feel like I made them. You must have done. That was a good girl.
Read the full transcript
19:23Anna Williamson:I feel like I made this. We need to drink this all at the same time. Okay. You got out the dust. Nice little float of dust as well while we're here Cucumber Pickles are my favourite thing Pickled onions, pickled everything Shall we give it a sniff test first? Oh it smells pickly A bit like a cucumber dash It does smell like cucumber Cheers
19:49Anna Williamson:Here we go One, two, three, down the hatch Oh it is pickly Oh it's nice It's alright It's because it's too cucumber-y maybe for you But I really like that That would go with tequila It's quite like savoury It's a savoury fizzy drink I like that It's quite dill forward No, I I really like that That's strong It's the smell that's putting me off It does stink No, it smells a bit eggy No, it doesn't It does smell a bit eggy it's a bit eggy don't you think? I think it's delicious now that you've said that just a little bit eggy a bit sulphury it's sulphury yeah it's a bit sulphury but the taste is good it's not unpleasant to be fair can I have the rhubarb one you can have the rhubarb one I would love to have that now you've said that yes please do you want rhubarb?
20:44Anna Williamson:no no you can have grapefruit I'll have the apple Claire thank you thank you Claire zero sugar used sparkling water pink rhubarb this is a beautiful branded company thank you darling I like that pickle one. I think that's good. It's great on me. Here we go. It's not horrible. Oh. It is. The can does smell a bit eggy. You've got the egg. It is a bit sulphury smelling. It's a bit eggy. But the flavour, if you had that with like tequila. I'm going to try this one. Oh, the rhubarb's delicious. I've never heard of this brand, you. I know you don't double dip, but it's really nice. Just try it. I haven't got cuties.
21:17Guys, we love sparkling water. It smells and tastes good. That's nice. Do you want to try the apple before I go on it? Do you not care about jams?
21:29Anna Williamson:Are you joking? I'm living in a building site with That's not as good as pickle or rhubarb Do you want to try this one? That tastes like a Granny Smith Get your cups then and I'll pour the sink Well here I've finished the pickle I'll have your cup then Thanks Claire, this is lovely We always accept gifts We do. We love a bevrault. Actually, as we're moving into... If you would like us to taste test... Well, can I ask, have a request? As we are moving into the autumnal-ness, if anyone's got any really nice kind of like wintery drinks, autumnal drinks, like slow gin or hot chocolates or red wines or...
22:07Anna Williamson:Send it our way. Things like that. Drop me a note. We'll sort it out. Oh, hello. Grapefruit. Right, how's you... It's my least favourite. Oh, hold on. But it is nice. It's my least favourite. Citrusy. It's quite synthetic. I'm quite happy with my rhubarb, actually. I would go pickle, actually, is the best. Do you like the rhubarb? Then using... Now, what is in this? Here we go. It says a sparkling water with a snap of juicy pink rhubarb. Sparkling water, natural flavouring, natural rhubarb flavouring. I really like the pickle. Good. Do you know what? These have actually been really helpful for me with the kids because the kids, bloody on holiday, got into the house.
22:45Anna Williamson:Can we have a Fanta? They never wanted any fizzy drinks. So sugary. I don't like all of the, what's the guff in, what's the name of the guff in Diet Coke? No, I don't know. Aspartamine. Thank you. And they've actually started getting into the sparkling fizzy waters, which if they want a little fizzy drink is so much better. We always have an endless supply of dash in this house, as you lot know, because you come and drink it all the time. Anyway, shout out to you. Shout out to you. Really delicious. Y-E-W. Don't know where it's sold, so Google it. But if you would like to send us something for Imo's Try Something New segment, we're all ears.
23:22Drop me a note.
23:23Anna Williamson:We are in. This is moving on to a shit gift, which that was not, from Anonymous, so Eunice. Hi, Luanna and Imo. I have a shit gift to talk about. Back in 2020, when I was with my ex, boyfriend, it was leading up to Christmas and we were sorting out everyone's presents. I bought my mother-in-law, who I knew wasn't keen on me, and I wasn't much a fan of her. Her favourite body wash set. Not a cheap set either. Not cheap. No. Some wine and chockeys, the usual stuff. In return, my mother-in-law handed me a present which felt like pyjamas, which I was happy about and impressed that she had not just wrapped up a lump of coal.
23:54Anna Williamson:Pardon me. I kept the present until Christmas Day. It is making us all burp. Bit gassy. It is a bit gassy. Well, it is fizzy. Fair. I kept the present until Christmas Day where I was at my parents' house. I opened the present and, to my shock, was a pair of men's football pyjamas. Safe to say I am not a football fan, so I have never worn these and my boyfriend was just as shocked as me. when we broke up I gave him back the PJs along with the rest of his belongings well his mum knew that you weren't the one for him no it's it she hated you sorry mum wow I told you it was gutsy that was building up right Imo you are outdoing yourself quite honestly because now it's time for challenge Luana challenge Luana will it be Anna or will it be Luke she's got the giggles Louisa did something which we're going to talk about on Monday day's episode if we're allowed to which we are really giggling about it's just setting us off it is but we haven't got time to gasp about it it's bloody funny anyway it's such a Luanna it's such a Luanna story praise yourself for Monday guys it's literally just happened before we did this episode but this is your episode not ours and we will regale it on Monday it can only happen it can only happen right it's time for Challenge Luanna and that's the Challenge Luanna Will it be Anna or will it be Lou?
25:15Anna Williamson:Honestly, Lou couldn't be any more of a liability. I don't know when she can. Go on, remind us again. Challenge Lou Anna. Challenge Lou Anna. Will it be Anna or will it be Lou? I just came up with that. That's pretty good, actually. Thank you. Anna is currently 2-0 up because Lou forgets every time. I did remind them yesterday, but alas. This week we have... Port Campbell, that's quite a good noise. I've got another. Oh, she's got one. Oh, she's got one. I wanted you to bring me something that makes the most excellent noise. We will go with Anna. Okay, hang on. Stepping away from Mike. Oh, she's rummaging in the bag.
25:58She really has brought something. Oh, wait, get on Mike, my friend.
26:03Anna Williamson:Right, so most parents will be familiar with these because kids have got them. They're part of the fidget toy thing. And actually, Elle, she's broken it, but I'm about to break it even more. it's one of these little like fidget things where sucky things yeah they come from like an old plastic piping that can concertina down then you pull it open it's a bit like like a slinky like a slinky but not it makes a really good noise I like it okay
26:32Anna Williamson:oh that is good oh good I quite like the one going in and again that's a good noise oh that is a good noise I probably can't beat that she might as well be the winner It's pretty good. Go on, now. What have you got? Lou, what did you bring? Well, me. Me. Okay. So listen to this noise.
26:59Oh. This is a seal.
27:11Oh my God, she's doing actions.
27:17And I think that's quite an impressive, unexpected noise to come out of me.
27:25Anna Williamson:Can you say what got me back? That was the set up and the dramatic positioning of arms to one side. When you hear the story as well on Monday, what she's done today. They're my flippers. Let me tell you, your hands know no bounds with its flapping and waving. Well, Lou, that was excellent. It is a good noise. It's a good noise. I can't do that noise, to be fair. Not a lot of people can. You try and do it now in my... Good noise, then. See?
27:59Anna Williamson:That does not sound like a seal. You sounded like a tricking and getting it up the bum. You strangled. You try it. Do it in loose, though. Good Lord.
28:12Anna Williamson:No, it's crap. I sound like a crow. I actually do sound like a seal. It's quite impressive. Over to you, Imogen. No.
28:24Or? That is better. I'm sorry. It's a good noise, isn't it? It is. Do you want to go? I've got another one. Do you want to go? I've got another one. Ready?
28:37Anna Williamson:Okay, she's now clutching its drawers, guys. she's picking up anything in the studio and trying to make a noise with it. What was the noise of her pulling a tissue out of the tissue box? No, it's still not as good, mate. ASMR noise? No. All I would say is, though, so that means a hat trick from Williamson, which means now the stakes are getting even higher. So when Lou pulls one out of the bag, this is going to be a big win. So for the win, it is the... Oh, I've got another one. Oh, here she goes. I forgot, I did bring this. Okay. Oh, yeah. Again, she's still looking around the studio to find things that she can find.
29:17Anna Williamson:That is a tape measure.
29:21Anna Williamson:I'm surprised you just haven't gone whole hog and pressed the sound effect machine on the recording equipment. It's not as good. Anyway, Anna, well done. That's 3-0. Well done, my friend. Thank you, my angel. Well, to be fair, the seal impression was superb. Very good. next time I would like you to bring me I'm not doing this shit again, what is it now? One must get involved Louisa. She's got this because your win is going to be just great. I'm going to add some stakes, I'm going to add like a forfeit for the loser because otherwise you'll continue being shite. Oh, go on then. I feel like I wasn't shite, I did effort.
29:56I pulled my shoulder then. Okay. Okay. Next time I want you to bring me the best drinking vessel. Oh. Okay. Okay. You can move on now. Is that not just a cut? No. Not necessarily.
30:17Anna Williamson:Do we have, does it have, I just need just a bit of boundaries here. Does it have to be classified as a drinking vessel? No. Because you could drink out of a trainer. Exactly. You just need to be able to argue that it's the best drinking vessel and why. And I need to agree with that. You'll probably be in doobs, so you probably can find some weird cool shit there. Well, I'm not sure I can find a wet nurse, but I'll try. Oh my God, how fun with that, Brie. I've got to touch. Now she's thinking, people. Now she's thinking. Right. I've got all of that to look forward to. Right. Excellent. Love that.
30:49Anna Williamson:Thank you, Imogen. Thank you. Please remind us.
30:55Anna Williamson:Right, next up, message from Anonymous. So Fanny Flaps, do you want to do the honours? Is this ball? Hi, ladies from the USA. Oh, we're getting a lot of internationals. well I just wanted to reach out and give you all a big thank you for keeping me sane and afloat during what has probably been the worst two years of my life after listening during covid um I'm fully caught up the last two years have been an actual living hell on earth starting with getting pregnant with my third baby and my no ex-husband pretty much emotionally physically and mentally abandoning me and our two other kids and me coming to the realization that I'm in a toxic narcissistic abusive relationship and need to get the head out.
31:32I cannot even count how many other women on your podcast have said simmer. If not the same story, I've just lived and survived. We ended up getting officially divorced this past April. Well, well done. Yeah. I uprooted me and my three kids and moved back to my hometown and back in with my parents. I'm 34, a single mum of three, and I'm literally starting from scratch. Slowly but surely, I'm picking up the pieces and finding myself again some days are harder than others and the mum guilt creeps in from time to time but I keep reminding myself I did the right thing for the kids and myself thank you for spreading awareness and making me and anyone else in a similar situation not feel alone and that they can do it and leave and finally find peace and happiness sincerely bless you thank you for that note it's it's so hard getting out but once you get out you do you rebuild and you rebuild a much a better life so well done to you we hear it all the time don't we and we're very we do we're very
32:30Anna Williamson:genuinely really honored that you all listen to us and take a lot of comfort and community and making these massive life decisions so well thank you bless you and all the very best um a voice note from dot next dot oh good dot dot dot cool uh good friend dot oh it's dot back yeah oh good Oh, Dot! Hello, my favourite podcasting scallywags. It's Dot from Cronkshaw Fall Farm. I'm so sorry I missed you when you came on the grand goats. I was sunning it up in the south of France, if I'm honest. Sorry, it was planned before I knew you were coming. Anyway, I am messaging you a newsy bit that I think you will appreciate.
33:11Oh, I hope it's an update. There is a new platform full of animals and wonder and farms, which I think will be your cup of tea. And it's called Only Farmers. and it's not what you think don't worry um so only farmers you can if you're a farmer you can go on there and you can list your farm you can list activities you do like hanging out with goats like you did you can do beekeeping you can stay in a tree house you can do all sorts of stuff so all the farmers go on there list all the stuff they do their farm shops they're places you can visit and if you are a member of the public you can go on there and you can find when you're like going holiday to the lake district you can find a farm to go and visit you can find a farm shop to go and buy stuff from.
33:50You can find an experience to do. You can go on a beekeeping activity. You can do all sorts of stuff. That's so cool. And I just thought, this is the kind of thing that Louisa and Anna would love and that the Lufanians would as well. And I know that because so many of the crazy Lufanians booked a goat to join their Zoom call during COVID at my farm. So yeah, just wanted to send you that little update because I thought you would appreciate it. And also ask if there are any tickets left for your big night out. Is it on October 3rd? It looks fabulous. and sounds fabulous. And yeah, just wanted to check in to find out if there's any tickets left.
34:24Sending lots of love and can goats come as well? Because I'd like to bring one. Goodbye. If you bring a goat, you can have a ticket, Doddy.
34:31Anna Williamson:We are sold out, unfortunately, Dot, for tickets, but you know, there are a couple people reselling. Reselling. So please keep checking the apps, the Dice app and things because there are a few floating around. Okay. Yeah, that's good to know. And also, Only Farmers, I think that's absolutely genius. I'm going to check that out. Do you know as well? I think all of us speak for ourselves, but say, I've been a country girl myself and grown up on a small farm and all that. That's such a cool idea. I'm such a massive fan of farmers. They have such a rough time in this country. It's so hard to farm.
35:02Anna Williamson:Didn't the choir win? Britain's Got Talent. They did, they did. I know one of those farmers. Yeah, I think you did. I did a little video. Yeah, I think you said. But honestly, farming, I think, is just having a whole new resurgence in love from people. And we need to get behind our farmers. So I think that's a brilliant idea. And I think, you know what? Farm days out have absolutely saved me back in the UK here. Like doing all their activities and stuff. It's brilliant. Right. Time for some confessions. I have never told anyone this, but. Hi, ladies. Long time listener from the States. We are getting all you Americans and we love it.
35:33I was about to say good day. Maybe we're going to crack America. We're going to break America. I've got a crochet related injury, guys. Oh, guys. I've got a crochet callus. Making my bike, I hope.
35:44Anna Williamson:No pain, no gain. Thanks, babes. Hi ladies, long time listener from the States Obsessed with all you do I have a confession for, I've never told anyone this I think you'll enjoy it Me and my husband and my one and a half year old daughter Had just arrived at my mother's house After a two and a half hour flight As you know, flying with toddlers sucks ass So we were spent When my brother and his family dropped by And invited everyone out for ice cream I'd rather use the ice cream scoop to remove my eyeball My husband states he doesn't want to go out either My mother asked if she can take the toddler so we can settle in.
36:17Yes, fucking win! So off they pop and about five minutes of us being alone we realise, wait, we're alone. Off go the trousers and we throw our shit off the bed and get onto it. Unfortunately, the headboard was wooden and bounced with the bed onto the wall quite loudly and my mother lives in a condo where you share a wall with your neighbour. We decide to try to finish quickly so you can imagine the ruckus we made. No more than 60 seconds later there's a banging and screaming coming from the front door of my mother's house we were hiding terrified and throwing our clothes on like a couple of teens getting caught by a parent we think if we ignore they'll go away except fuck my life my mother installed a ring doorbell and we can hear her cussing out the neighbour through the ring cam apparently these two have had face-offs over noise before my phone rings and my mum tells me to stay inside the house and there's a crazy person outside she keeps telling him off and he says he's calling the police the rest of the night we were waiting terrified that cops would show up but nothing we've gotten away with it we think only to find out that our next visit at our next visit that the cops showed up at 1am in the morning my mother unknowingly lied and they went away she ended up writing a formal complaint to the HOA, housing association I'm guessing and the people moved after having lived there for a long time I feel terrible but when you're in the throes of toddlerhood you've got to get in while you can.
37:44Anyway, thanks for doing all you do. Love the pod and all that jizz.
37:47Anna Williamson:What a confession. Their shag made someone actually move house. Literally. Oh my God, that's almost as bad as someone's chod making a plane have to land. We had that story. Oh wow. Next confession. I've never told anyone this but I work in HR and once accidentally sent a disciplinary letter to the wrong person. Someone with the same name in the company but wrong team. she ended up resigning oh no before I even properly noticed I just kept schtum she got a better job I checked on LinkedIn and everyone's fine but I think about it every single day and it haunts me I triple check every two line on an email now yeah oh my god that's terrible she sent the wrong person a disciplinary letter and they resigned well they obviously thought they had done something wrong I was gonna say they just thought fuck this I'm going now guilty guilty that's crazy That is crazy.
38:39Love the fact you just never said anything. Just kitching them, yeah. Well, that is it for this week's Rana Toaty Extra. Remember, we will be back on Monday with your usual dose of Luana. So do check in then and...
38:52Anna Williamson:Send your emails in to Luana and Luana.com. I'm still taking a piss out of Lu and I can't wait to properly deep dive this on Monday. You can send us a WhatsApp message, guys. Well, Imo, let's be honest. She's the one who mans the bat phone. to 075215 64640. Don't forget, please, to follow, rate, subscribe, and all the guff. It's terribly important to us and to you because we are all one big happy dysfunctional family. See you on Monday. Sunday, Monday, happy days. Woof. This has been a Global Production.
39:32Evening, by his remorse. Buy a new car? I'll be moving in. Let's get started. Uh, sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana. You what? Yeah, great price. I even have seven days to love it or return it. So there's no... No, no buyer's remorse. More like buyer's rejoice. I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it. Buyer's rejoice. Buy your car today on Carvana. Limitations and exclusions may apply. See our seven-day return policy at Carvana.com.
From the publisher
On this week's Totally Extra: We're buzzing because it's one month til Troxy! Please get your shoutouts in for the big day, we can't wait to see you!
Plus, Evil Edna is born, Lu's inclination to pity shag, pickle flavour sparkling water, the most excellent noises, discovering Only Farmers, and an HR worker sent a disciplinary letter to the wrong person and said nothing.
It’s time to get TOTALLY EXTRA. Extra chat, extra rants, extra bants, extra stories, nonsense and more.
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