'I actually drank bogey wine'

21:39Anna Williamson:On your bean. It's really good, honestly. That is quite powerful. It's quite powerful. It's really powerful. It's really good. And you can wear it, if you're going through like airports or something and you want to take it on holiday, you just pop it on your ring or it comes with a necklace chain as well. So I can smuggle it through. Yeah. So there you go. Oh, it's really powerful. You got it there, Al. Al's put it on. You can pop it on the end of your bell and have a little play. Yeah, you can. Well, I'm not sure his cock is this small. I really hope that your penis is wider than this. for Bex's sake.

22:07No, I didn't put the vibration part

22:08Anna Williamson:on the end of his belt or on his balls. Oh, I thought you meant put that over your dick. I was like, God bless you and your tiny wiener. I mean, it's quite an interesting look for a ring. I know. Well, I keep it on my bedside table and then my cleaner doesn't know what it is. Oh, I like it. I'll be honest, I use that and it's a good one. Yeah. So it's Crave. So there you go, girls. I can't turn it on. You're very welcome. Just a little, well, thank you to tea, really. I've turned it on. Happy, happy orgasms, guys. thank you you're very welcome you are very welcome thank you well thank you thank you tea from Crave you're a wonderful lady and you're very generous as well she was very sweet well after you were talking about the other week and you were like get us one of those so I was like actually rang her up well best of sure I love that and I was like I will actually get some of these for the girls thank you oh my farts are putrid you know what I've eaten and drunk too much that's it for me now it's all the truffles oh right shall we crack on let's move on it's time for Did you know with emo did-la-dun-dun My fun fact, did you know, this week comes from myself, who found this approximately 20 minutes ago.

23:18I thought someone farted. No, that was the chair. I farted. Did you know that fish form orderly cues in emergencies? Excellent. Very British. Line up. Very British.

23:31Anna Williamson:Single fart. No. No pushing in. Mind my gills. Did you know that? No. Well, they do. When evacuating through narrow spaces in sketchy situations, schools of fish queue so that they don't collide or clog up the line. That's very cute. Scientists interpreted this behaviour as showing that fish can respect social rules, even in emergency situations, unlike us humans. I mean, how do you feel about people that go fishing? and then they hook it and then they just hold it for a picture and put it back. Now we know that they've got social etiquette and that they form a queue. Do we not feel bad about fishing?

24:11Would you rather put it back than not put it back? Well, better to just not hook it in the vase place.

24:16Anna Williamson:I just like eating fish though. That's nasty. I'm a fish lover. They form a line. They do form a line. That's cool. I mean, I have a lot more respect for fish now that I know that they actually have manners because I like manners. I hope you choke on their bones. Right, shall we cackle with some messages? Yes, let's. Right, message from Anonymous, so Maude. Hi, Luanimo. Hope that everyone in the world of Luana are having a good week. Are we everyone? We're having a good week. Well, not really. Not so much. I missed my flight to Florence. Lou's in a stinker. And Emma, you must be pissed off at the strikers.

24:49They are annoying. Yeah, see. I've not had to go into the office this week, so that's been good. But why? Because of the strikes? No. Oh, just situation. Yeah, but also strikes. My friend walked to work. How far? Well, from Ballon in southwest London to the city. Okay, that's far. Jesus. I just wouldn't have gone to work. Took her like an hour and a half. You had to go in. She has to go in. You can't just not go to work. And every bus is rammed. The whole fucking country has suffered because of these... What if you're disabled? What if you can't walk? Quite. Well, if you can't walk, that's different.

25:23Anna, you're not disabled and your legs work perfectly fine. so you are able to walk. Laziness is not a disability.

25:31Anna Williamson:Well, who's saying that? Right, let's carry on. I'm the lady who, can I say I'm not, shut up. Anyway, I'm the lady who wrote in about the potholes on the nursery run with the huge boobs. Oh, yes. Oh, I remember her. This was so good. Two black eyes. You'll all be glad to hear that my youngest has started school. No more sports bra for drop-offs. Let them all hang out now. do your boobs hang low my friend has informed me that the drive has been concreted only seven years too late that's the power of a dirty protest anyway my family of four recently went on holiday and something mortifying happened to my husband and I my friends found it hilarious so I thought I'd share it and hopefully you can make me feel less traumatised by the ordeal with a bit of solidarity always we're always here we're in it together let me set the scene my husband and I have been flirting with each other all day that's good isn't it God I never flirt with Al Did you flirt with Andrew?

26:26Anna Williamson:Not really. I mean, our flirting... Do you flirt with me? How do you flirt? Well, I think our flirting is now like, should we have some sex at some point this week? Yeah, okay. That's about as flirty as we get. Ours is like, we're a bit tired, should we do it in the morning? Yeah, that's about it. Anyway, my husband and I have been flirting with each other all day. Good for you. Sexual tension was built. Waiting for the moment we get the kids in bed on our beautiful French holiday home. They're on holiday. So that helps, yeah. Finally, the kids are asleep. I sneaked to the bedroom and put on my sexiest, laciest underwear ensemble.

26:57Oh, she's really... Can I just say, I did take really nice underwear to Florence. Did you put it on? No. No. But there's a thought that counts, Aileen.

27:04Anna Williamson:There it is. Crotchless, of course. I feel delicious and my husband ravished me in a romantic, steamy session on top of the sheets. It was 42 degrees with no air con. Oh, bloody hell. The noisy fans were blowing harder than I did. It was too hot to shag. With me on top, we both hit a sweaty climax. And when we hear the little voice saying, Mummy, Harry is crying. What are you doing? I crawl off, Daddy, like a slug trying not to expose his jizzy dick. I knew I had to act quickly and dig out a whopper of a lie to try and preserve my child's innocence. So I said, don't worry, darling, Daddy has a bad back and I was trying to make it better.

27:45Anna Williamson:I told my son to go to bed and I swiftly followed after the obligatory cup and run to the loo first. I had settled the smaller child. I went into the bathroom to see my husband lying on the tiled floor with my elder son walking on his back like a timeless. He's trying to fix my back, honey, and doing a better job than you, he says. Whilst we... I imagine him as well, post-coital as well, with like sloppy dick. Do you know what I mean? Whilst I feel... On the cold tiled floor. I mean, that is when, like, oh, God. Whilst I feel we have salvaged the situation for now, at some point it will dawn on my son that his mummy isn't a rubbish first aider.

28:27Anna Williamson:She's just a hussy. While this story is mortifyingly humorous, I feel horrendous about it. Oh, don't. No. I'm worried that I have exposed my son to his first porno at the age of eight, featuring his parents. Oh, my God, Enzo would totally know. Do you think? Oh, yeah, yeah. He's nearly nine. He'd totally know. Please help me to feel less like the worst parent in the world. Love you guys more. No, it's fine. There was a brilliant thread, like, probably about, what, nine months ago on our Everything Line of Facebook, which is about this. But look, we would love to hear more of your sex story. Caught in the act.

28:59Yeah, being crushed, crushed by the kids.

29:01Anna Williamson:I mean, we... This never happened to me. Has it actually? No, never. Ours, did I ever say about... What happened to you? Well, only on... I forget what I say on the pod and what I say off the pod sometimes. but when we were on holiday last year and we thought we'd try our luck once the kids were in the sort of living room bit Were you in the shower? We were in the bathroom I think you might have tried that But then one of the kids came along wanting something fixed on the iPad See? Devil Devil, yeah But then they'd stuck it on camera mode and then shoved it under the door I think someone else's did that We had a story like that Anyway, fortunately we were done so it was fine but you know you're like God I just can't do anything anymore It's impossible with kids Literally impossible Right we've got another message from a non so we've called you Deirdre Deirdre Deirdre Yeah Morning ladies First time writing in Found you guys about nine months ago and your laughs, farts and brutal honesty take me to work most days I bloody love the belly laughs you give me You transform people out of the normal bullshit of life and for that I'm sure we're all grateful Thank you Call me Deirdre used to look like her in my oversized sped.

30:15Oh, did she die? Did she die? I can't remember.

30:19Anna Williamson:Wasn't she in Corrie, Deirdre? Did she get jailed? She was always smoking, or was that Dot? Dot was the smoker. Dot was Dot Cotton. She definitely died. Deirdre in Corrie. Deirdre got jailed. Did she? She had a famous catchphrase. Deirdre Barlow. played by Anne Kirkbride. There you go, Anne Kirkbride. Is she still alive? Is she still with us? No, she carked it 10 years ago. Gosh. It's R.I.P. R.I.P. R.I.P. Deirdre. There you are. Right, I'm a mum of two teens, work full time and a wife of 20 plus years. Normal family ups and downs as you do. However, in the last couple of years I've been on a bit of a journey.

31:01I had a health scare so I began to take after myself a bit more and sorted my shit out. Lost some weight, got a social life down the gym, made new friends. I just put myself first a little bit more and to be honest I look good on it I've still been the good wife and mum still do all the school stuff shopping, house is still pristine still have tea on the table for my tribe and whichever mate the kids decide to bring home that night just sometimes I sort them just sometimes I sort them I eat later or us we all eat a bit later so I can get to a class and have a run I just say no a little bit more or they have to work around me from time to time We have a very relaxed home with the kids.

31:38We have a room for them to use with mates, so there's always someone around. This is something we both encourage. We'd rather have their mates around and know they're all safe, as long as they all look after the house and tidy up after themselves. So far, so good. My issue is my other half. I know he loves me. He's a great dad, great person. Socially, everyone loves him. And generally, he's the funny one, the life and soul, chatty, especially with the women. It doesn't bother me. And he's very liked. but just recently behind closed doors he's a bit shitty with me he never tells me I look nice or compliments me actually does the opposite finds a way to take a shitty picture of me like if I'm pulling a face or if I'm asleep or just something for him to laugh at not with me but laugh at me he tells me when I look tired or when he doesn't like what I'm wearing not often but it is noted A bit more than that, if I have anyone round to my house, girls for a glass of fizz or something, girls he has known for years, he finds a way to make it uncomfortable.

32:37He'll speak down to me, embarrass me, or makes it clear that he doesn't want them there. He can be rude to them, ignore them, or just flat out suggest when it's time to end the night by saying it's late now, so off you pop, that kind of thing. Oh, it's late now, off you pop. But it's not in a joking way. It's in a serious want the ground to swallow me up kind of way. Recently, this happened again. It was late. He was up early the next day working away. I was working too. But my oldest mate had a really shitty week with her family. She needed a chat, a de-stress. And to be frank, slag off the world for an hour or two.

33:11As we were talking rubbish, we just lost track of time. So when he angrily shouted at us that we were taking the piss, I lost my head a bit. She, of course, ran out the door. I didn't shout but I made it clear I was sick of it thing is he says it's me says I'm disrespectful I take the piss never think about anyone else when that's all I ever do it was only midnight and it happens once in a blue moon but it's my house too surely I can have someone around without it becoming a problem it's not that the house is tiny and he can hear every word we had music on but learn from time to time the kids came in and chatted with us and then went off again we weren't partying I do love him but I'm so fed up of it I feel like all my friends talk about him in a way that actually isn't justified as 90 % of the time he's not like that just seems to be whatever they're about in our space if this happens when we're out if he's ready to go and I'm not more often than not he will leave me or has a go at me in front of who we're with we did fall out over this last occasion he spent two nights in the spare room and he still thinks that I need to apologise I feel like he needs to lighten the fuck up and realise I'm at home having fun with my oldest friend I'm not out in a pub until the early hours and then waking everybody up and if I was I should be allowed I'm the wrong side of 40 I think I've earned a messy night once in a while maybe I'm overthinking this maybe all these little things are just driving me crazy and I just need to offload maybe in the back of my mind I'm thinking the kids are about ready to fly the nest so it would just be us a lot more is it going to be even worse then or is it me am I being selfish give it to me straight ladies no sugar coating I can handle it thank you lovely ladies appreciate at you.

34:51Wow. He needs to back the fuck up. Do you know what's happening? Yeah, but this is typical of men, like, sort of age before their time versus women. Like, you know, a lot of men, they sort of get to, like, 50 and they don't want to fucking do anything. Like, my dad's a bit like that. What? My mum's quite outgoing. No, no, my dad's not arsy. No, not arsy. But he just doesn't want to do anything. So, yeah. No, my dad wouldn't be arsy with my mum like this. No. I just think that men sometimes don't want to do things, and women, as they get older, because you then do get that freedom, because your whole life you've been a fucking slave to your family and your kids and doing all this shit.

35:29And then you finally think, right, I'm going to take back something for me. Yeah, exactly. And then when you do, though, your partner can't handle it because they're not used to it.

35:35Anna Williamson:Doesn't like it. Well, you're very right on that. As you say, exactly, you're starting to find yourself again and have your friends. I have a huge issue with this message, actually. I think this is flaggy as fuck. I think the way he speaks to you, the way he speaks to you in front of your friends, I think it's really disrespectful. If he has an issue, I mean, of course, we're only hearing one side here, but if there was, let's say you were taking the piss, in inverted commas, i.e. been a bit loud, it's a school night, maybe he does shift work, he's got work or whatever, but there is a way to speak to somebody.

36:10Anna Williamson:And I'm just putting myself in her shoes now, because actually I had this the other week. It was quite late on a weeknight, a friend of mine needed to have a chat. So I was like, well, pop over. We sat in the garden, had a little Aperol, and we just sort of put the wells to rights. And then he did come out and he's like, I'm going to bed. Do you mind locking up? No, it's fine. Now, if I put myself in that situation, and let's say he'd stormed out and got really eggy and shitty, I would have been fuming because there's a way of saying it. And if that moment he did, let's say, for example, he didn't like it in that moment, there's a way of behaving.

36:37Anna Williamson:Let that situation happen. Then at an appropriate time, you say, babe, can I just ask? No, not cool. Or can I just ask, would you mind if you do want to see your mates Could you go to theirs, you know, if I'm having a late night or could it be, can we find a sort of common ground and a compromise? This to me sounds like utterly disrespectful behavior. And quite honestly, this is a real worry for me because I think this will get worse and worse and worse. I think when your kids go, it will get worse. And you need to knit this in the back now. You say you love him and that's fair enough. And I think, but you need to make it very clear to him now what you expect from a respectful language perspective.

37:11Anna Williamson:It's horrible that your friends think it too. The way he speaks to you and to them is disrespectful. for that's not okay if he wants to communicate with you about some things he would like to shift around that are reasonable you know you're allowed your friends you're allowed to do what you want but equally yes you need to respect your home together have a cordial conversation i would pull him up on it and go listen right you'll bang out yeah if you want to talk about this we'll talk about it if you can't treat me with respect then fuck you quite frankly is where i'd go i'm here for that yeah i would the same i just think that's it's not okay i just think any kind of ownership over anyone isn't cool.

37:45You do have to compromise and communicate.

37:48Anna Williamson:But not like that. Yeah, well, also, as you say, you're not living in a tiny house. No. So it's not like, you know, your laughs are ricocheting off the walls and keeping everyone awake. Especially when you've got older kids. He needs to stick some fucking earplugs in and fuck off, quite frankly. Also, to your point as well, Lou, it sounds like he is resentful. It sounds like he possibly doesn't have a similar social life. He's resentful and jealous of your friendship. That is an issue. That is a problem. You've obviously gone out your way to make those because you're right. You have to. You can claim a bit of yourself back when your kids get older.

38:18It's like the best feeling ever. And friendships are so important. Go on, Imsi. It's just a bit King of the Castle vibes. Who the hell does he think he is? Who's to say that he runs the show? And her. Especially when you're pretty equal. You both work. You both contribute. You actually probably do more with cooking and all of that stuff. Yeah, looking after the home. It's not like...

38:38Anna Williamson:You are entitled to friends. Even if you didn't work. No, exactly. Exactly. And I say this a lot. We always say it sounds like common sense that it is, but it's really quite worrying in relationships now how much passive aggressive sort of controlling behaviour, jealousy can creep in. You are an individual, independent person. If you want to be in a relationship, that's wonderful. That person is there to compliment you. We are now at a beautiful point in life in society and in evolution where for the first time ever from our predecessors, we are choosing partners because we want to be with them.

39:14Anna Williamson:Not because we have to. Yeah, always enforced it. Exactly. And if that partner, and I know you say this as well, if that partner is not complimenting you, if it's not giving you anything, they're not for you. Exactly. Sorry, I get quite passionate about that. Me too. It's hard when you've got a 20 year history. And women do it to men too. Women do do it to men as well. It does work both ways around. And also, just because it's not happened previously doesn't mean it won't start happening and then develop more. I think that's another misconception that people have. They're like, but it's been so good for like 15 years.

39:47Why now? Well, people do change. They do. You've got to nip it in the bud, babes. Good luck. Good luck. We've got a message now from Holly. Trigger on. Shall I read it? It says, trigger warning for Anna. This story involves bogeys.

40:03Anna Williamson:I'm going to give it a try and then I might have to pass it over. I was 19, coming back from a summer in Canada with my boyfriend. It was hot, sweaty, stressful. And we stopped talking one silent, sweaty train ride away from breaking up. Oh, it's all gone tits up in Canada. We'd booked the cheapest flight possible, which got us as far as Leeds. But we lived in Somerset. Christ. So now we had hours on a train, pardon me, in August to look forward to. We got on and it was chaos. Sweaty bodies, bags everywhere, no seats left. My boyfriend was dragging our suitcases already in a mood. and then I spotted it.

40:34Anna Williamson:One seat, just one. I didn't even think. I stood straight into it, pretending not to notice his death stir as he got stuck standing by the luggage rack. And then I saw who was sat next to me, an elderly gent, harmless enough. Until I noticed the chandelier. And oh no, not the sparkly kind, the nasal kind. Oh no, I can't do this. A massive glossy bogey, just hanging there, swaying gently with the movement of the drain. and it was close. I tried to focus on my book but this dangling horror was right in my eyeline. After a while, How could he not feel it? Oh, how, Lou, how? The drinks trolley came past.

41:13Anna Williamson:I ordered a cold glass of wine, buried my head in my book and tried to block out the swaying green menace. Eventually, I glanced up. Oh. It was gone. Honestly, I was relieved. I'm just so worried where this is going, girls. Elated even. I thought, right, Now I can finally enjoy this journey without thinking about it. I took another...

41:39Anna Williamson:Carry on, please, Luke. Or Imo, anyone, not me. So the bogey was gone. She took another sip of her wine and then she looked down. There it was, floating in my wine. Bits breaking away. Little crowded trails drifting through the glass. Oh, I've been there for a while. What's I been happily sipping away? Oh. I felt instantly sick. My whole body went into do not form it mode. I put the glass down and tried not to swallow what was in my mouth without making a seed. all while my sweaty silence soon to be ex was glaring at me from the luggage rack. Bogey wine. I actually drank bogey wine. It makes me heave to relay the story and the vision is etched into my brain forever.

42:48I'm Holly from Summoner and let's just say that train journey was our relationship's final stop. P.S. Love the show. My mum once accidentally sent the gay grandad Harry Potter party story and a redout to her strict Bible lesson group teacher instead of the family chat. She didn't realise for a few days, then in her sheer panic claimed she'd been hacked on WhatsApp. A lie? She's still keeping up two years later. Also, PPS, when I get married to my fiancé, I'll be called Holly Day.

43:22Anna Williamson:It's happy but twatty. oh my friends insist i have madonna holiday for our first time you've got to it will be so nice you actually have to be there that's so good yes you absolutely have to have that can i just say holiday you've redeemed yourself from my absolute gag like oh dear remember if you want to get in touch you can email us luana and everything TheWanna.com. And also drop us a WhatsApp on 07745266947. Oh, news stories. I need to be wary of this one. This is terrible. Yes. 32 ,000 Italian men, 32 ,000 have been caught sharing non-consensual nudes of their wives. This reminds me of that bloody French guy that was...

44:13Oh. This was our panic. Yes. This is terrible. Until last week, more than 32 ,000 men in Italy were openly sharing intimate images of their wives and girlfriends in a Facebook group called Mia Mugli, my wife. Mugli. How do I say it? Mugli. Mugli. Which has been active since 2019. The group encouraged men to post photos of their spouses sleeping, getting changed and sunbathing. Often their underwear is exposed. Sometimes they're completely naked. all were posted without consent in the public domain for fellow guys to peruse. Underneath the post, there were numerous sexually explicit comments from men, some saying they wanted to rape the women.

44:57Oh, my God. Why would you want someone to say that about your wife? Some saying they wanted to rape the women while others praised the secretive nature of some of the photographs. This is terrible.

45:08Anna Williamson:So what makes this different from typical revenge porn forums, is not only its size, but also who its members are. Oh, my goodness. Well, this is what I was thinking, Lou. To make a comment like that as well, like you'd have to be pretty stupid or bold, right? But apparently they weren't faceless bots. They were lawyers, doctors, entrepreneurs, even local politicians. One was a mayoral candidate, another a journalist, and many used their real names. Because they're just using their... Just casual. How brazen. They just didn't think there was something wrong with it. How brazen. The group was hiding in plain sight on Facebook, visible to anyone who happened to stumble across it.

45:40Anna Williamson:For many of those who found out that images have been shared without permission. The discovery was awful. One woman who found her photos circulating in the group and on Telegram as well, told a news outlet in Italy, today I found out I was in the group, Mia Mollie, yeah, I feel shattered in two. I learned through my sister. Some photos had already been passed around on Telegram. I'm afraid this could affect my children. That is just horrific. So Italy's police have shut down the group on August the 20th. but one of the biggest issues obviously is that once it's online you can't erase it it's there forever when you're in cyber land so screenshots, images, visits all been circulated around all been uploaded without these women's consent now what is there going to be any comeback on this?

46:26I don't know so the group's been banned from Facebook but the telegram channels are thriving so it's come off Facebook but it's still thriving meanwhile the men many of them in high powered jobs will likely just continue their lives as normal. Their name's buried in a sea of over 32 ,000 others and protected by a digital ecosystem that adapts much faster than regulation, which is what I keep bleating on about. Damn. That's horrific. The names have been passed to the police, I believe. But whether or not anything will actually come out of it. Actually be done.

46:57Anna Williamson:Yeah. Next story. A rapper's breakup turns nasty artery disrespectfully exposes X for soiling the bed. I mean, there's no such thing as privacy, is there, girls? You did shit on your ex once, didn't you? Well, I did, yeah, but at least I brought that out in public myself. At least no one else said that. A celebrity split has taken a messy turn after rapper H shared a nauseating story about an ex, only for his former girlfriend, who was Lola Thompson, to name herself as the woman involved. Well, it... Is she admitted to it, then? I'm not being funny. It could have had 100 exes. And she's then gone, it was me.

47:34Anna Williamson:I mean, babes, that's on you, honey pie. Yeah. I don't think that she needed to come forward. The story could have just been dropped and nothing. Why did she... Deny everything. In life, you just deny everything. So the rapper, whose real name is Harrison James Armstrong, he told the 90s Baby Show podcast this week that a past relationship ended in an awkward encounter during a holiday in Bali. This does sound a little bit like me, Lou. Yeah, back in the day. Without naming names, he recalled waking up beside his then girlfriend to discover that she had soiled the bed following a bout of so-called barley belly.

48:10Anna Williamson:I mean, this is literally me. The illness that we all know about, you know, when you get contaminated. Like deli belly. Yeah, exactly. And I had jippy tummy. So there you go. I was in Egypt. I was with a girl. Egypt. Egypt. Is that where it comes from? Jippy tummy. I think so. Really? I wouldn't believe that. I thought jippy tummy was just like a word for having like a funny belly. Well, I would Google it, I wouldn't believe what I meant. Imo, can you please fact check this? I've always thought Jippy Tummy was E-Git. Really? That does make sense. A Jippy Tum, yeah. Jippy E-Git. That's what I thought it was.

48:42Anna Williamson:I've never heard of Jippy Tummy. If not, I'm going to pretend it is. I've heard of Deli Belly. Deli Belly. Jippy Tummy, diarrhea affecting visitors to hot countries. Do you know where it comes from? Does it mean it's from Egypt? Oxford reference, Jippy Tummy. Yeah. Stomach trouble. Yeah. originally I suffered specifically by visitors to Egypt there you go learn something well look at you the oracle did you know with Anna see if it's a shit fact literally I'm your girl I'm your girl so the guy said so yeah H joked that his ex had passed winded her sleep and thought she'd got away with murder before adding up no you missed a whole bit oh sorry I was with the girl and we went to sleep and woke up the next morning tried to get it cracking he said before describing his horror at noticing the sheets were soiled.

49:33Anna Williamson:He then said his ex had passed wind in her sleep and thought she'd got away with murder before adding, I've gone. He said, I think something's happened there. But days later, Lola, a 26-year-old Australian influencer and a PLT model, the little thing, outed herself in, like you say, this makes no sense. She's so stupid. Outed herself in a furious TikTok video accusing her ex of being disrespectful when exaggerating the incident. She said, I did this in my sleep. It was a little... Why would you do this? I did this in my sleep. She's done it for attention. Clickbait rage babies. It was a little bit in my pants, she admitted, but insisted it didn't go on the bed.

50:16Anna Williamson:It didn't go on him. It didn't go fucking everywhere like he said it did. She went on to accuse H of rewriting the moments for laughs, adding he wasn't being like, oh, get away from me. He was literally telling me he loved me. so TikTok fans were quick to rally behind Lola with Ron writing Don't worry Lola, we've all been there I don't even get why you tried to make this an embarrassing take you were literally ill and had an accident anyone who's been sick gets it another fan said who cares if it's the wall or the ceiling it's something you can't control he should never have said it oh guys, lighten up oh look, you shit your pants, you've all done it others were baffled by Lola outing herself in the first place with one TikTok user commenting Babe, we would not have known it was you.

50:59Nobody would have known Lola. I mean, I'm not sure how Lola's brain works. My only conclusion is it's not working.

51:08Anna Williamson:Not right now. Another said they couldn't waterboard this information out of me, girl. We would never have known it was you. Lola, you could have said nothing, hon. Or hon, unless you were like us, loud and proud, I would have put my hand up and gone, it's me. No, we were in Florence. and then the next morning... You've done it as well, actually, on the back of the day. Similar-ish. That was a sex-induced fecal accident. You still shit your pants. You still shit your pants on linen. Fecal accident. Fecal accident. We both had... Have you had a fecal accident? Many. Well, of course, you shit your pants in the tube.

51:44Yes.

51:44Anna Williamson:Yeah, we've all... Al, have you shit your pants? He doesn't want to say. Long time, but it means you have.

51:55Anna Williamson:he doesn't want to admit it he's not like us when we were in Florence Andrew he went to me you did a very stinky fart at 2am did you follow through the next morning I was like did I he went it was disgusting it woke me up it was disgusting it woke me up I said well that's your fault for feeding me wine and too much pasta I said my stomach is out of whack it's not used to this so don't blame me blame yourself I did the same to Al actually the other night I got into bed the other night smells like rotten cabbage oh it's awful I did about but also we have a smell my trousers now get your nose why why just tell me they smell like rotten cabbage just get your nose hello what what do you want to smell no come on you never smell anything more cabbage than that.

52:54It's just the smell of my trousers where I've been please, please just have a little sniff. Please, go on. Please, it just, I won't fuck. It will give you a pay rise.

53:04Anna Williamson:It's like fat fucking Charles. Just smell it, Imo. Come closer. You've got your vibrator on your finger. No!

53:18Oh, it's very cabbage-y.

53:20Anna Williamson:It's awful. Can I just say, you got that 45 seconds after me. Oh, you stink. I don't even know how you had children and your husband went there. Oh, that's bad. It's so bad. That's stuck in my throat. I quite like the smell of cabbage, to be fair. Do you like that smell? Not that. Well, no, no, not that. You liked that, didn't you? I like it too. I have your actual, you know, actually, I do quite like the smell of a fart in the bath. Yeah. Which is really cabbage-y. But it just smells like cabbage. Lou, that is revolting. You need some perfume on your vag. Awful. I got into the night. Alex, do you want to smell?

54:02I'm quite alright.

54:03Anna Williamson:Yeah. I'm quite alright. Stinks. I've made a bet I don't fart in bed because he gets really genuinely quite cross about it. I didn't mean to fart, who I am? But I did it the other night. I farted. but then I'm on one of his new diet plans at the moment, his nutrition plans, and it just made me a bit gassy. See? So I was like, it's your fault. Actually your fault. Well, I farted on that flight all the way home, sent you to a picture, and every time I went, oh, it was cabbage. It's not even the fart that keeps coming. It's the odour is in the material. I think, honestly, I'm not even joking, please make sure they go in the laundry basket.

54:36No, I'm going to wear them all weekend. We're going to be in a car with her for three fucking days.

54:40Anna Williamson:Oh, shit. It's payback. Oh, please don't eat anything awful. Just done another one. Best thing that's ever happened to you financially. Go. Easy. Sold my car on Carvana. Amazing offer. Really? I hit 200 on a scratcher. Did the scratcher come to your house and hand you a check? No. How many scratchers did you hit to get that? I hit a button on Carvana.com once. Okay, that's fair. It's like the lottery, except you always win. Not like the lottery at all, actually. Exactly. Inexplicably good. Offers worth bragging about. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pickup fees may apply. It's the widow of the week.

55:22I hope that our bosses at Global don't see me do that and accuse me of HR might be on to me.

55:29Anna Williamson:If you're listening to this, if you're watching on YouTube, you would have seen this, but what you didn't see is Lou just then headlocked in a vice. Clamped in my face. I clamped in my face. And if you want to see that, head to our YouTube. Where every episode you can watch. And to be honest, we've just come off our Luana road trip. I'm going to be honest. You've got to head to YouTube. There would have been a lot of this going on. You need to subscribe. It's at Everything Luana, I think, on YouTube. I love it. It's the conviction and commitment that sales are. Yes, it's at. What is it? Is it Everything Luana, Alex?

56:06It's Everything Luana, yeah. Everything Luana. Everything Luana on YouTube. You've got to subscribe because all of our road trip content is there and it's going to be good. No, it's not there yet. It will be next week. It's going to be there. It will be when Imo does it.

56:18Anna Williamson:Next week. Right, weirdo of the way, anonymous so Wilma Cockfit. Wilma Cockfit. Did you think of that one? No, I think she did. Oh, it's a banger. I like that one, Wilma Cockfit. Oh, it's a banger. Right, hi, Luanimo. Keeping in with the new porn name theme, exactly, call me Wilma Cockfit. Love it. I have never told anyone this. It's a weirdo of the week, maybe, but I feel like you ladies will appreciate my newly found postpartum kids. Oh. I'm nearly two years Do you know what? Motherhood does do this, you know For some of us I am nearly two years into motherhood And have two kiddos Since having them I feel like mine and my partner's sex life Has gotten so much filthier Oh Maybe it's because you don't get to do it all the time Like pre-kids It's true One of the stranger things I found I enjoy Is a boob or nipple play Okay I breastfeed and have an oversupply So I'm constantly leaking or squirting milk And also mega prone to blockages of mastitis No, painful In the early days of breastfeeding my first, I had rock hard, super engorged painful to the point of tears.

57:16Anna Williamson:I couldn't get any relief. So guess who volunteered to help relieve the pressure? Bitty. To the rescue. Wow. He got his mouth right around my boob and he sucked as hard as he could and squeezed out the blockage. Big bitty. The relief I felt was unparalleled. Once the pain had gone, I noticed I could feel his tongue on my nipple. Oh. I noticed a bit of a fanny tingle. Twinging the minge. Yeah, I looked down and I saw he was aroused. He apologised. Oh, sorry. Hang on, mouse issues. He apologised and said it was because he was obviously sucking on my boobs. But the feeling was actually arousing me too.

57:54Anna Williamson:I just got her little rat face. I got my rat face. I'm doing a little chair wiggle. Anna's going to wank over this for an agent. Quick, give us your vibrators, girls. Whack them over here. There we go. Vibrators at the ready, everybody. Fingers ready. We ended up having a very hot make-out session before being interrupted by my baby. I slowly started saying I had blockages more often and would say I needed help getting rid of them. Sometimes this would end in a very hot sex and the best orgasms ever. I actually can now finish just through nipple play and snogging. What? Wow, those are sensitive juggos.

58:29Anna Williamson:Really sensitive. Wow. More recently, whilst in the throes of passion, we forgot the baby monitor was on in our room and kept getting notifications of movement. My partner got the monitor out and said, watch. and we actually ended up watching ourselves. So hot. I feel like pre-baby me never would have... They're now creating their own porn using the baby monitor. Baby monitor. While she's breastfeeding her husband. And getting rid of mastitis. I mean, go for it, guys. I feel like the pre-baby me never would have done stuff like this. But here we are and I love it. Filthy bitch. I would love to point out to those who may not know, but breastfeeding a baby and having a grown man sucking on your boob feel in no way the same.

59:06Anna Williamson:I was wondering. Please no hate. Love your girls. Keep spreading the love. Kisses Wilma. Oh, I love this because most people, me included actually, when I was in the trenches of the breastfeeding sex, the last thing you're thinking about is having your partner near you. So the fact that you are actually having great sex and managing to kind of get on with it all is great. What a beacon of hope. Does he swallow the milk? I would like to know. Point. Are you like, shh? Right, that was a good confession. I got Anna very excited. Pass me cray. Right, we've got another one in from and on. So it's Hilda.

59:42Hi, Luanna. Absolutely love the pod. I recently discovered you and I've gone right back to the beginning. Good luck. Don't need to say it, Anna. You can go right back and listen to every episode, though. So if you do need a fix more often than two times a week, you can go and get it by listening. Constant us. Right now, it is still COVID times and we're just coming out of lockdown. I'm very sad that I didn't know about you back then as I was single and I lived alone at the time and it would have been wonderful to have had your hilarious podcast to help me through. Nevertheless, I found you now.

1:00:11Anna Williamson:Thank you. Have a bit of an is it weird. My boyfriend always sleeps completely naked. Every night when I climb into bed and snuggle in, we will automatically assume our prime sleeping position. Oh yeah, we all do this, right? He will lie on his back and I snuggle into his arm nearest to me. I then reach across and cup his balls. I will gently peel his ball sack away from us. Peel. Not peeling an orange, love. Well, you know when they get a bit stuck sometimes. I quite like... Like flaccid and stuck. Yeah. Like old saggy teabags. I do like a flaccid, squidgy... Ball bag. Yeah. I'm not allowed near Alex's.

1:00:48Well, I'm not really allowed either, but I do like it. If I get hold of it, I do like it. I do try, and then I do get swatted like a fly. I will gently peel his ball sack away from his upper leg and rest them in the palm of my hand. That is a nice feeling. He says he likes it. to the point if I don't get in this position, immediately it lights out. He'll often ask, aren't you cupping? This started off as a bit of a joke initially, but now this is just how we fall asleep every night. And is it weird? I like that. It's a little thing. It's like a little comfort cup. Comfortable. Keep doing what you're doing, girls.

1:01:21I will get out of COVID and catch up to present time eventually. Please kindly keep me in on. I like the name Hilda. Like Mama Hilda. Like Mama Hilda. I'm all for the comfort cupping. Comfort cupping. Would you do a comfort cup on the vag? Is that a thing? I comfort cup my own vag. Yeah, you do. My own vag, I do, yeah. I comfort cup the boob. I go like this. Yeah, you do. That's your comfort book. You do a boob and vag cup.

1:01:45Anna Williamson:That is your thing. And then I have Ellie like there, and I'm like... That's not her lesbian lover. Ellie's the elephant. Yeah, it's a small cuddly toy. I like to hold my boobs. I love Ellie, the elephant. I wonder what other adults sleep with her. When you're in your... Do you? What? Who do you sleep with? I have two. do you what are yours i have an otter do you called modo sorry it's so emo just sleep with a fucking otter an otter modo the otter i bet the next one's a squirrel or something and there's a cat pissy this name's you've always known that you want to sleep with pissy every night haven't you how long have you got pissy for my mom got me that well well she knew she saw the writing on the wall she did i got that in year eight when i went for an operation oh i kind of missed mom i had a comforter but now l's got it uh well there you go that's a fascinating one there you go um no you ranted at the top i'm not ranting i just want you to all know that i'm still cross okay well anyone that drives a tube we would love genuinely love to hear your thoughts on this i could drive a fucking train i'm sorry because i think it's the whole of the tube network not just the drivers.

1:03:01Anna Williamson:I honestly don't know. Yeah, it's the ones that stand on the fucking platform too. Gormless. I'm sorry. I see you. I see you at those fucking underground stations doing nothing. But nobody wants to say it. Anyway, right, bye. That's it. But she has. So there you go. I'm going to have to start another podcast, guys. She is. Thoughts with Louisa. Thoughts with... You want more rants. You know how you get pause for thought on... I'm not sure I could get in my to edit that one for me. Editing it yourself, Lou. Just be one massive monologue. I just wouldn't edit it. No, exactly. It'd just be one massive monologue.

1:03:34Anna Williamson:I just wouldn't edit it. I might do that. I might just put a new pod out. See how long it takes me to be cancelled. But they can't cancel it, right? If I did it myself, Ims. They could. It depends on what the rants were. If they were legal, defamatory, etc. They could stop you very quickly. So I think we could all agree that Lou will last a week. That people who strike should get sacked. That's not illegal. No, that's an opinion. So what would we call your spin-off pod? Lose? The things that everyone's thinking and doesn't want to fucking say because they're too afraid now. They'll get done in.

1:04:08I think you need a more pithy title. Yeah, it's not very catchy.

1:04:11Anna Williamson:Right, that is it. Don't worry. We'll be back here every Monday. If you've got any suggestions, you can let us know. We appreciate your input, don't we? We do. But also, we'd love to hear your thoughts on Lose Run, honestly. Bring it in. Bring it on. That's what we're here for, to have good chats and healthy debates. But listen, if you don't want to wait until Monday, Thursday, of course, we've got Luanna totally extra. As always, we need you, Lufanians. Please send in all your emails and all your guffage to Luanna at everythingluanna.com. Hot zap. Hot zap? Hot zap. Hot zap. I like that. Hot zap.

1:04:44Hot zap is where it's at.

1:04:47Anna Williamson:Our number is 745-266-947. That has no ring to it. No, it didn't work. That didn't work. We'll work on that. What else do they need to do? Make sure you've followed us. Top right corner. Press follow right now. Tell us about us. Make them listen. Please, if you're on whatever fucking wankers. A review would be lovely. That would be lovely. And a review. We'll see you on Thursday, guys. And next week, you can hear all about our road trip. Yay!

1:05:20This is a Global Player original podcast.