' I can no longer look at a crunch corner yoghurt the same way'

26:39This is her question. I'm a mid-30s female and I have been with my boyfriend for eight years. Eight years. We have been in our house for two years and spent three years living in his parents saving for a deposit. So five years living together, cohabiting. Recently, my little sister got married. Her husband is fantastic and I'm so happy for them. It really was the most beautiful day and she looked incredible. But I couldn't help but get a little teary-eyed for the fact that that wasn't me. We've had a lot of weddings over the last few years with friends and family. Everyone is always saying soon it'll be your turn.

27:09and I just smile and say, hopefully, whilst cringing on the inside, my boyfriend knows I would prefer to be married before having children, which I also want. But recently the clock in my head has gotten so loud, I have this constant hurt feeling in my chest when someone is talking about a wedding or engagement. God, I remember feeling like this. Or even pregnancy and that it isn't me. I felt this when I broke up with my boyfriend before I met Alex. I really did. My family have been dropping hints at him too. I recently found out last year that my mum gave him my nan's wedding ring. I found out from my sister and he has never showed it to me or mentioned having it.

27:46Oh, they need it back then. Oh, yeah. Unless he's planning on doing it and everyone is like cock blocking him all the time and he wants to keep it as a prize. Anyway, am I wrong to put a time limit on things? I don't want to leave him. I love him. But the proposal is the one thing he has to do and organise. I organise everything else. Everything. I organise holidays. I even pack for him. Oh, come on. And even my birthday. Oh, darling, really? he hands me his wallet and tells me to book somewhere. I want him to do this off his own bank. I'd be happy getting engaged in a muddy dog field but I want him to do it off his own bank without feeling pressurised to do it.

28:21I don't know how to bring the conversation up and be like my feelings are hurting now that this isn't happening without it coming across like I'm begging him to do it. What do I say? What do I do? Any help would be appreciated. P.S. money isn't an issue. He has a great job and earns a bucket load and I'm not doing too bad myself. do you know what I think you just need to sit down and have a chat and say look we've been together for eight years we've been living together for five I know that we've discussed our future but I just want to revisit like have they though have they discussed well maybe have they haven't they but he actually might just be plodding along and not want to marry you and not see a future with you and not want children with you right and you know he might have just taken the nan's ring because your mum offered it and he felt he felt awkward and obliged but I actually really do think that you need to sit down and say look you know this is what i see in my future do you see that with me please be honest with me because if you don't and if he doesn't then you might be you know looking at pursuing with somebody else and and or being okay or being okay in a committed uh relationship she's not okay with that no no but if she has the answer from him that i yeah so my point being i've got a couple of friends actually who they've been together for 10 years um she really wanted to get married he just you know wasn't putting a ring on it and they got on to have children and um and he he he just has really strong views on marriage marriage now that he's not into it he's got reasons for that but actually they ended up having a family together they have a house together well when you have kids with someone that's more of a commitment than marriage ever is i think yeah but they did have that big conversation was it something that she could compromise on not getting married but then being in a committed relationship and that commitment showing up in other ways the answer was yes it wasn't i don't want to marry you because i don't want to marry you yeah he just doesn't believe in marriage like he finds it too much pressure and it also said he's getting so fed up with everyone constantly saying to him when are you going to propose when are you going to propose and he's like literally he's quote unquote when i felt like everybody zapped any bit of joy and spontaneity out of it for us now that's just one isolated case but to lose point i agree you need to sit down and go look this is what i want what do you want and if you don't want it is in our future what is the future looking like for us and to your point of view, if it's a deal breaker for you, then it's a deal breaker for you.

30:35Oh, good luck, lovely. Bless you. I feel for you. I also think he needs to be doing a little bit more, babes. We've got another message in now from Stace. She says, hi, Luanna. So I've been wanting to share this story for years now when I first listened to your podcast. I thought this story was right up your street and I look back at my life, the last 20 years, and there are some good, steamy sex stories I can still vaguely remember. But this memory is embedded into my brain. I was 16 years old at the time with a rock star boyfriend who was one of the popular grungy kids in high school and I fancied the pants off him.

31:09I often thought about all the first we were going to have. I was a complete newbie to anything sex related or oral sex. So I wanted to be the best for when it happened. After a year of finally getting together, we were equal to do bits. We were in his grungy bedroom and he was persistent for me to give him a blowjob. As I made my way down there. No, no, no, no, no. No. No. No. Oh, no. No. I started to smell a foul-smelling odour that only strongly resembles strong cheesy bum smell. Oh, God. Cheesy bum smell. Cheesy bum. As it was my first time, I didn't want to look shy. I tried to push the smell.

31:52Stop it. Stop it. I'm triggered. I started to suck him off and pull back his foreskin where there was a thick layer of white stringy grubbins around his belly. The smell was so bad I was gagging into his dick. The taste made me want to vomit and my eyes were watering him. I mean, she's a trooper. She just kept on going, hunkering down on that smug mouth. I found myself building up with saliva because I didn't dare swallow what was in my mouth. Trying to look sexy, as this was my first time, I pulled my big girl pants on. and swallowed as I licked the cheese from his dick. Why do girls do this?

32:38I thought, wow, glad that's over. That was disgusting. Hope I got away with it for a while longer. Fast forward a few days later, we were back in his bedroom. Oh, no. She went back for seconds, for fuck's sake. I've lost to her sympathy now. Get me a Xanax, please. She's back in his bedroom a few days, and he's eager for round two. No. He was, however, eating a Crunch Corner yoghurt and asked me if I've ever sucked anyone off with food on their dick. I replied, trying to act all cool, and was like, yeah. And he proceeded to pour the Crunch yoghurt onto his dick with the chocolate and white balls sprinkled on top.

33:15I literally wanted to shrivel up and die. He pushed my head onto his dick and the smell of the yoghurt and his cheesy bellend had me gagging for life. As the remnants was in my mouth, he must have thought this was eternal and obviously had no idea of the stringy cheese he had wrapped around his foreskin. Fast forward 20 years and I can no longer look at a Miller crunch corner yogurt the same way. As a thought seeps into my core, every time I put a crunch corner yogurt into my daughter's packed lunch. Screaming, crying, throwing up. Love you girls. Stace. I went through a smorgasbord of emotions on that one.

33:56That was a rollercoaster. Remember, if you want to get in touch, email us, Luana at everythingluana.com. You can also drop us a WhatsApp, 0745266947. Oh, I've got BO from that stress. Look, this is a story for us. Right, yeah, newsy bits. Quickly moving on. Posting photos. Well, I've known about this for a long time, actually, though. Not everyone does. but posting photos of your kids' faces hidden with an emoji may no longer be safe. Well, I'd always heard this. You should never do an app. Oh, because of AI tech. Yes. So the trend of covering kids' faces with emojis, which is what I do sometimes.

34:32And me. Yeah, is popular amongst many parents and even celebs when posting pictures to social media. However, thanks to advancements in AI, simply covering your kids' face with an emoji may not be enough to protect them. Yeah, I've heard this. AI doesn't know what the face is like underneath, but it says AI oh while AI may not be able to predict what a child looks like safety experts warn that if you're consistently posting pictures of your children even with their faces covered it is able to accurately analyse photos to gather crucial information so it can detect patterns to gather info so it could look at all the photos you've ever posted of your child add the info into like a knowledge database and then pull it out so like things like your workplace address travel logs even favourite restaurants and places to visit to come up with key points about your child.

35:20Now, in lieu of a face, another outlet even warned that AI can swap out an emoji covering your child's face. Just stick a different face in. With another face, yeah, leaving the altered photo to be used for other potentially harmful purposes, like editing into a photo for blackmail or sharing with predators. Lisa Ventura, who's the founder of Cybersecurity Unity, told The Independent, I need to be brutally honest here. Putting an emoji over a child's face provides virtually no real privacy protection whatsoever. That's that then. And unfortunately, cyber security experts warn the videos of your kids, especially if the videos contain their voices, may be even more ripe for risk.

35:56I didn't know that, actually. I didn't know that. No. I mean, this is just the scary thing about AI, isn't it, I think. And I think as well that there needs to be, like, laws around AI. Because the problem is, and I say this all the time, the technology is moving so quickly that the law can't move quick enough. but there does need to be like a crackdown on it because it's really frightening what you can do. And there's so much, and it's not just about sort of showing our images of our kids, but we know we've often talked about this. I do a lot of work with my sort of kids counsellor hat on around platforms like Roblox, which has now come under fire again even more recently.

36:38Roblox is the devil. It's such a worrying space. But I mean, interesting. so Lou and I don't show our kids on social media. Lou hasn't for longer than I have. And then I decided to not do it. I used to years ago, but then I didn't, quite honestly. With Dixie I used to and then I did it. Now she's older and she can consent to me. And she's on socials, I do. And it was my son, Enzo, that actually didn't like it. He didn't like it if I was showing photos. And actually Alex, my husband, also had a real issue around it because he'd been reading up on all this stuff around, you know, about how they can be used.

37:16I think no shade on, because plenty of our friends, you know, share their kids on social media. And I think it is, you know, that's up to them. But for me, and I think for what Lou and I do, probably because Lou and I have seen a lot more of the darker side of it, down to what we do for a job, down to some of the messages. I have had some inappropriate messages about my children in the past. It didn't make you pull up your drawbridge, let me tell you. So I choose not to share my children just because I don't need to. and I think it's until they have their own experience. We don't need to for a while.

37:44I mean, some of our friends, that is their living, right? And then I don't know how, you know, I don't know still how I feel about people making money from their children. Well, I think we talked about that, didn't we, quite a while ago and I think that's also being looked into. But Sam Fez is a very good friend. She did the mummy diaries and the kids are all, you know, so it's just, you know, it just depends and we really still don't know and won't know until 50 years time about the dangers and implications of sharing the kids online and it is just to sit tight and wait you can only do what is right i think for you and your family and at the moment that's our choice uh as a family but we may change our minds and if we do then then that's that i think as well when they're old enough to consent like dixie you know puts herself on snapchat and tiktok whatever she does question for you if i have a picture i'll always ask dixie Yeah, can I put it?

38:37Actually, and I'm curious to know your thoughts on this, actually. So Enzo has been desperate to want to do a YouTube channel. Yeah, it's a no. But it's also important to, you know, this is part of what they like doing. Well, it is. It's part of life. But also, it is part of life and jobs. I mean, look at Social Media Manage. It's your job. But technology in the digital age is creating a wonderful wealth of opportunity. Amazing jobs and future. Yeah, and Enzo is. He loves, he's very creative. he likes to do what I do he likes what I do so he has literally been asking again this week because it's his birthday in a couple of weeks you know can I have a YouTube channel and we've sort of said no you can't have one anyway unless you're over 13 in your own right but you could but I can because you have parental guidance so we have been having this conversation about it he is yeah parental guidance I can but you have to control my YouTube channel so and I it starts Alex is actually weirdly okay with it I'm not okay with it but we did say to him but at the same time if he wants to create videos we said well what videos do you want to create and he likes to do them on Lego and Minecraft He can still make videos.

39:35Exactly. You just don't need to put it out to the world. Exactly. So we've sort of said, and we're in the middle of looking into it. I said, well, look, as long as we can tightly, he knows why, we have really open chats with him around it. If we can do it so it's private settings and you can send it to your friends or your families or something, or family members. I don't know. We're looking into it. I just think, I mean, my kids, I don't even let them on YouTube now after my hissy fit this summer and getting rid of the iPads. They're not even allowed to watch YouTube. Is that what they were watching before?

40:01Yeah, I just think YouTube, Roblox, It just affects their psyche. It affects their behavior. And then, you know, I think like both of my children, I mean, Clemmie's seven, Indy's just nine. They still sleep with comforters every night. They still cry and want their mummy when they cry. They still need my help getting dressed sometimes, washing, brushing their teeth. Why? When they're sick, they want to come to you. When you've got children that are still crying for their mummy, sleeping with a comforter at night and are so dependent on you, would you open them up into a world of absolute unknown, a world of scrutiny, a world of unknown, a world of predators?

40:43It's not safe and it's not right. And we have to protect our children. And you think you're being nice, you know, like, oh, you can make your little TikTok. You can go on Roblox and play Roblox and dress to impress and all that that mine were playing. and they're not able for it. They are not able mentally, emotionally to cope with that. They're just not. But I think a big part of it as well, they're doing it. Even giving them mobile phones in year seven, they don't know the etiquette of how to message. Like I had problems with Dixie when she first got a phone and now that she's 15 looking at 16, she knows what's an acceptable tone to write in a message and she knows what acceptable is.

41:26But, you know, you give your kids even an iPad like mine had and then they've got messaging on there and they're allowed to message their friends. And they're still sending like, you know, and then they FaceTime in their friends and things on their iPads. And they don't know how to deal with that level of technology. They are not able for it. These are children that still want fish fingers and chips for dinner. They still want their mummy at night. you know some people some children are still wetting the bed at seven years old eight years old and yet you're allowing them on this technology it's just wrong and i've just got rid of it i'm sick of preaching i'm sick of going on about it now and i was like do you know what preach what i'd fucking write and i got rid of them and i'm not replacing them and i did a flight home without them and guess what it was absolutely fine we're flying to dubai with the kids in october and i'm not replacing the ipads they can watch the telly they can get coloring and all that it's just for me and look every parent does what they want but their children they're little and their babies and they're just mentally and emotionally not able to to process it i think yeah and i think um yeah i'm on the same lines with you and i think we we strictly control it and have actually been reducing it i'm not having a dig at you about it i'm not digging you out like if you do that for enzo that's fine i'm i'm not thinking no i don't feel like i just i just think it's risky but for me it's the when i was asking him no no i i fully am in line with everything you said lou genuinely i am for my own reasons not just i'm like whatever you said but no but for me it's it's the i said what do you want to youtube for this was i thought was the most i said i'm fine with the creative side of it what is it it's validation it's the likes it's that's what they're looking for the external validation they want their mates to see it they see ryan's world you know getting all these likes and you know why and i already hear it in enzo's language he's like because he hears it oh we don't forget to subscribe i mean we say on our podcast but we're adults right and this is our job don't forget to subscribe and i said to him right that for me is the issue here it's the external validation which i'm always preaching about you know giving that empowerment to unhappiness exactly so i said to him this was my compromise he's got one of those kiddie zoom camera things you know and with a green screen thing now obviously like most things with kids you know it's when the house moved where has it gone yeah well we found it and i said you know what You can make those videos.

43:44I said, because if all you're doing is because you want your creative outlet, we can do that. We can show your grandparents. We can show this. We can even send it into your school. The school have an online system where you share tapestry and seesaw and stuff like that. If you want to share your year group, we can do it. But I said, for me, that is where it stops. I don't want fucking so-and-so in Timbuktu liking my kids' account. And I said to my boy, I said, look, you don't understand that. But he doesn't understand that validation. He's too young for it. And that's exactly why. And then I know that we say, well, you know, jobs of the future and they should learn how to use tech.

44:22When it's appropriate, they should learn how to use tech. A 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12-year-old does not need to know how to go on YouTube and upload a video because it might not even be their job. You know, if you get to be older, you didn't have it when you were younger, Bex, and now it's your job and you excel at that job. So yes, there's an argument for, well, we're trying to educate kids of the future. But at every single point, there's a way of when that education and when that knowledge needs to come into play. It's like how I feel about sex education and what we expose them to in school. You know, I think that some of the things that we teach them are very confusing now at school.

45:03And until you get an age of understanding, we bombard our children with so much that they don't need to know and we rob them of their innocence. I also think as well as parents, we do need to get on board with what they want to do and the why's like me drilling down with Enzo. Why do you want this? What's it for? And because it is comparison, which is perfectly normal. Everyone does it, peer support. And actually I've been doing a bit of work with Instagram, teen accounts. And that's actually, you know how we're always lambasting tech companies for not doing, and I'm not just saying this as a, because full disclosure, I am working with Instagram on this.

45:36They're paying off to say it now guys. No, no, no. But this is legit, which is out there, because only just starting being rolled out, they have these teen accounts, which are so robustly restricted. But why? Why do we need these teen accounts? We don't need to. We don't need them. But if a child is, but if they are existing, I agree with you. It doesn't need to happen. It doesn't need to happen. I'm telling you, it's the demise of a fucking society. I just see Australia banned YouTube. Good for them. For under-16s. Australia's got the ban through. Yeah, because there's so much research coming through now about how bad it is.

46:09It's unnecessary. You've got a whole frigging nation of people that are riddled with anxiety, that are riddled with mental health issues that we didn't used to see. And I'm telling you, I'm sure that it's down to social media. Did you see them? And all of that. And we're to blame. You know, we've always got our phones. Oh, we enable everything. I try really consciously now not to be on my phone all the time in front of the kids, which is hard. And it's hypocritical of me. It's my job. I make sure. I am an influencer and I fucking hate influencers. but I just think that there's But do you boundary your time on the phone around the kids?

46:42Because I do that. It's really important. There's just a time and a place and a child that for me it was just you know, like Clemmie tried to have a sleepover her first sleepover this weekend she's seven years old, she's nearly eight and I get a phone call at half past ten, she's crying because she's left her muzzy at home and can I come and pick her up? 45 minutes away by the way. So I had to do an hour and a half round trip and I just thought oh my god, she's a baby She's still a baby. She wants her mummy and she wants her muzzy. And there is no, nothing more in my mind that made me think I've done absolutely the right thing, taking away that technology, that world of what, frankly, is, I think, evil and unknown.

47:27I sound like a bloody church preacher, don't I? Take it as church! But I just think that we just, it's not necessary. It's just not necessary. it's not necessary you can do your Lego videos you cook your videos but no one else needs to see them it doesn't even need to be a video though just live in the fucking moment and cook the food and eat the food with your family and be happy about that I don't really post that much on Instagram anymore Bex had to say to me the other day you do need to put some other content up to dilute the Luanna stuff and so I've been just posting pictures and shit because it dilutes otherwise my whole bloody feed is full of you.

48:08Pete always has to do that. I noticed Pete often says that. He goes, my manager told me to post a photo of something that's not me and Sam. So here it is. Yeah, it's like me and you because I'm just not interested in people knowing as much about my life as I've previously let them know. That's fine, it's your choice. Because it's just, why? Why do we need to do it? Anyway, we could go around in circles. We could, but I think... Don't let Enzo have the YouTube, I'll defriend you. Next news story. Astronauts on deep space missions may have to... Oh, we talked about this the other week about the poo capsules.

48:42May have to eat their own recycled poo. Astronauts on deep space missions may have to eat their own recycled poo. Boffins say... Which boffins? Could be like marmite. Well, I like marmite. But what if you're an astronaut and you don't like marmite? You're in trouble. You're going to have to try. Researchers say that spacecraft travelling to far-flung parts of the solar system will not be able to carry vast food supplies. They're trying to work out ways that grub can be recycled to offer nutrition without taking up valuable space. So scientists have proved it is possible to rapidly break down solid and liquid waste to produce more food using a similar technique deployed for fish in aquariums.

49:17They said it was faster than growing tomatoes. This is very interesting. So this sort of person said, we envisioned and tested the concept of simultaneously treating astronauts' waste with microbes while producing a biomass that's edible, either directly or indirectly, depending on safety concerns. It's a little strange, but the concept would be a bit like marmite or Vegemite, where you're eating the smear of microbial goo. Do you know what? How do you fancy that, Lou? A bit of microbial goo on your taste? Why are we, as humans and on Earth, obsessed with just wanting more all the time? Just let the fucking solar system exist.

49:53We're here on Earth, right? We don't need to be sending people off into God knows where eating their own shit. It's not necessary. We're just so obsessed with power and knowing shit and owning stuff and everything being ours. We've got to go and investigate. We've got to take ownership of that. Fucking let the aliens be. That's what we've taken from this. Let the aliens be. Well, there you go. We could be eating poo coming to a space station near you. There we go. Oh, what is this? Poo has proved a sticky problem. It's currently ejected into the Earth's atmosphere from the space station. Interesting.

50:31Then we end up polluting the other atmosphere. I mean, we're just a nation of greedy, polluting. Strong. That is what we are as humans. And the more we exist, the more greed and the more we try and get. It's actually really bad. I'm going to go and be a Buddhist. It's about to say, though, I feel like we've got some sort of life change coming around here. I just feel like, you know, as a human race, I'm not sure about us. I'm really not what are we even doing right now here we're just sitting, just chatting, waiting to die but why, why are we here talking, why are people I'm going to go down the rabbit hole who says Halloween only lasts one day, with Wayfair one night of Halloween becomes a whole season at home, from larger than life yard decor and moody lighting to festive accents for every room in the house Wayfair has what you need to make Halloween feel like magic all in one place Because the best Halloween memories aren't made in just one night.

51:29They're made all season long. Shop Halloween decor now at Wayfair.com. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home. It's the Widow of the Week. Something more lighthearted, like a camel toe. Or Carmel toe. Carmel toe, that's the name. Yeah, Carmel toe. Good one, Ems, I like it. Nice, nice. Right, hi girls, love the pod. please keep me a non just in case I am a weirdo am I the weirdo of the week I like oh mate I like to scrape off the crusty white stuff see what I mean fucking humans and eat it when I'm all sat on the loo am I the only one that does this well you could fly into space and become an astronaut I mean she says keep doing you thanks honey I mean I would say you do you but I wouldn't be scraping off the crusty sometimes though I do give it a little scrape but I don't eat it I just think oh that was a dischargey day heavy day of discharge Discharge.

52:26Busy day. Good body cleanse day. It's just your body cleansing. It's when you crack them. Yeah. Oh, the dust. The dust. Right. And we've got another, we've got a voice note. Gloria Holes. You have treated us this week. Good morning, ladies. So, I had a question. Am I a weirdo? I mean, I hope to God I've sent this to the right number and I'm not just about to expose myself with my name. and picture fully on WhatsApp. Anyway, I digress. I love to pull my tampon out in the shower and squeeze the blood out of it and just watch it all over the floor. And I love to tread on it and really inspect what's coming out of it.

53:14And I squeeze it until it's clean and then I feel happy just leaving it just there in the bin. What do you think? Is that weird? and also if you've received this message and this is not going into Luanna the podcast ignore everything I've said I'm lying I don't do it please don't tell my work I don't want to get the sack or potentially sectioned or put in prison for my behaviour thank you I would say it is repulsive behaviour but thank you for sending it in Gloria Holes that is weird you should have called her Bloody Mary oh my god There she is. Very good. There she is. There you go. Thank you.

53:56Two very big weirdos of vaginal fluid. Well, the tampon squeezer, I think. Well, yeah. Defo. Don't you? I mean, you think discharge is also weird. I mean, that's also rank. That's true. I think it might be a joint. This is the level we get to now. Yeah, we are scraping the barrel like she's scraping her knickers. Brilliant. But thanks, girls. We appreciate it. You're both weird. Congrats. it's that time of the week Lou you were going to rant at the top about something is it the same thing well I'll just tell you what happened because I had another argument oh who with with the Australian with the Australian it's the angry moment of the week I'll tell you next week about the fight I had oh god I had an actual did I tell you about this who with wait save for it next week who was it just give us a tell tease little tease I was in a nightclub and I actually had a physical fight with a man where in Portugal Right, ignore that.

54:50Right, save that next week. Park it. Park it. Park it. Right, what's this for? Anyway, so this one, just another airport rant for all the kids that have been flying this summer. So... Lots flying now, Lou. The people without kids now go on holiday. Well, just stop flying, please. Just clear the airways for me. Basically, I'm coming through Stan's Head. Can I also just say, Stan's Head is filthy. It's disgusting. It's one of the filthiest airports, like, ever. It's just, why don't they get cleaners? I don't know. But anyway, come in with my trolley. Very busy. Going in or going out? Coming out.

55:25Got all my luggage post-holiday. Done the flight without the iPads. Was actually fine. Good. Loaded up my trolleys. Did the bags. Walking through. Some fucking dickhead is just standing in the walkway. There's loads of people trying to get through. She's just there. Her and her mum, I think. It's the arrivals bit. The arrivals. Yeah. Congested. But to the left, right, there was a wall empty. So I said, as I'm trying to navigate my lorry, my lorry, it felt like I was trying to... Your caravan and family. Nine trolleys. Sorry, nine suitcases and three trolleys and the kids. And she's just fucking standing there like a gormless fuckwit.

56:12Doing what, on the phone? No, just standing, just existing in Gormo land. She's like fucking, no. So anyway, I was like, that's not a very good place to stand. She went, well, I'm just standing here. And I went, well, you can see it's, I just lost it again. She goes. The kids are like, hooray. She's got the anger. I've got anger. But it's just fucking stupid people again. And I said, why would you stand here in the middle of a walkway where everybody's trying to walk? We're all trying to exit the airport. We've got trolleys. We've got suitcases. And you have just planted yourself like the fucking, in the middle, like the Statue of Liberty.

56:53Why are you standing there? What are you doing, Doris? And she was like, well, you know, you're very rude. And I went, yeah, I am rude. And you're fucking stupid. I said, there's a wall there. Go and stand next to the wall with your bags and all your shit, whatever you're doing. Just stand there. Did she? What goes through these people's minds? It kills me inside. Every time I encounter someone with below par intelligence, a little piece of me dies and I'm nearly dead. You're nearly dead, Liz. I'm nearly fucking dead. They're killing me. These people. They're fucking stupid. You should have gone to that wall.

57:28Every time. I feel like, oh, there's another one. Dead again. Like, go and stand by the wall. Just use your fucking brain. What's happened to logic? What has happened to just people using their... They haven't got brains. What people are breeding to create these fuckwit people? They need to stop breeding. And she was Australian. And then the only conclusion that I could have to try and make this okay, because we're big fans of Australians. We're the big Australian following on this podcast. Yeah, love our Aussies. Is that maybe she's just so happy and laid back and I'm so uptight and English and angry.

58:04Maybe she's jet lagged. Maybe she came from Australia. Well, she didn't flying into Stansted. She didn't. But she could have passed through Dubai, actually, and then flown into Stansted. What I want to know is... But it really fucked me off. Did she go to the wall? No, we just had an argument. And then I rammed her with my trolley and walked off. Can I also ask, though, in the argument, did you then block up the space for people to get past you? Or did you... Well, yeah, because I was arguing with three trolleys and nine seat cases. So did anyone behind you end up... Well, they all just watched me argue with the fuckwit gormless Australian.

58:33So it was a melee. It was a melee. But whatever, she shouldn't have been standing there. But what goes through people's minds? I know. like I would be like okay I'm not gonna stand in the middle of here in everybody's way yeah just move along just go and stand over there move along but why don't people do it it's actually it's really starting to get honestly I just can't be around people any longer it's a problem guys because Lou is now practically dead you know she's practically dead a little piece of me dies I think we can all relate to this every time I found it in when I was in the hospital the other day in the Costa Coffee queue you know when you're trying to pay for your coffee then there's people waiting for their coffees but then it's like there's the till can you sort of move move along but why don't people do it what is going on in the world are people just so selfish is it a selfish thing no but is it now that we just live in this world where everyone is so self-obsessed and selfish that they just clog up the walkways and they just think they're oblivious not aware but why just not away I was waiting for a coffee this morning well something's making people stupid and there's the poor coffee woman was like oat milk latte for Reuben it wasn't Reuben I know shouting for about five minutes yeah he was there Reuben was a metre in front of him yeah what is Reuben doing just just looking at his phone yeah this is the problem the phones are making people they're killing our brains he looked up he came up he was like I haven't had my coffee yet oh I would have fucking chucked it I would have gone Reuben you're a c*** and here's your fucking coffee on your head you motherfucking prick I would have done I can't be in any kind of customer facing roles whatsoever no no I think we can all be grateful that that won't happen I just can't deal with people I just don't know what is going on with people well yeah yeah I think yeah basically I felt it myself in the old hospital problem was I couldn't get angry because the people that were actually clogging it up were people in their surgical pyjamas about to do surgery so I thought I'd best leave They should be doing surgery because they're clearly exhausted.

1:00:39A, needing coffee and B, just not being aware of their own surroundings, let alone to cut someone open and then start fiddling with their insides. It wasn't a fight I was prepared to take on. Every fight, let me tell you. She's there. I'm no longer a lover. Not sure I've ever been a lover. You're making it sound like you've been anything other than angry. This summer I've had an angry summer. You have been angry. I'm not even joking. Should we go and do a cold bath? We can't tell. I just don't know what is going on let's go and chuck her in the lake maybe I'm perimenopausal and this is you need some evening primrose oil that'll calm you down right that is it we're going to have a Jackie P in a minute that'll chill her up that'll chill me up I need a wee as well yeah me too exactly do you need a poo no don't shit in my toilet that makes me angry you pooing in my toilet right anyway we'll be here next Monday if you can be bothered to come back and listen to my show you can be if you want to hear about my fight but anyway you don't have to wait until then because on Thursday Today we have Luana, totally extra.

1:01:35And for that, we do need you, our wonderful Lufaniens, from far and wide, as far as Australia. We welcome you, Australians, for the light and the shade and the love to balance out the anger in Zisman right now. We're going through the anger phase. We had the tramadol phase. We're now in the anger phase. The email to send in your guff to is Luana. It's like the OG phase, because when we first started this pod, I was a lot angrier. Yeah. Which is now seven years ago, not eight years ago. I've gone back we've done the full cycle that's it we're back at the start now we're back at the start we're back at the start jump onto WhatsApp guys send us a voice note or a message the number for that is 07745266947 you can email us too luanna at everythingluanna.com please follow us tell someone about us make them listen leave us a review and do keep an eye on our socials our Instagram is at everything underscore luanna we are on the road road trip this weekend if you want to meet me I promise I won't punch you You might.

1:02:32And yeah, hopefully we'll be meeting lots of you this weekend on our travels. Keep an eye on us. Maybe we could do like a little map or something. I don't know what's planned. I'm just going to turn up and smile. We'll just turn up. If we see you, we'll see you and we bloody love you. Luana, do road trip. Bye for now.

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