'I grabbed an old man's b******s!'

27:53Anna Williamson:Titanic Sinks Tonight. I mean, never has the theme tune been less appropriate for a content. That's just what came straight into my head. I know. But I don't know about you. Like I Other than watching The Titanic movie With Kate and Thingy I don't know anything about that Well I've never really seen The whole Check The whole like Titanic experience And basically It's four parts Four hour parts It's all done with actors But all Like it's really harrowing But it's kind of In real time Like bit by bit What happened You see like And hear stories About all the different Things that happen Different classes From actors perspectives Who are doing it From real life accounts Of survivors and stuff It's pretty harrowing I'm not gonna lie guys Oh that actually sounds good It is really really good So BBC iPlayer Titanic Sinks Tonight That's my Reco Seco I can't get that song out of my head now

28:46Anna Williamson:Titanic Sinks Tonight I've just watched it It's so inappropriate But it's a great one Sorry I haven't seen it What's yours Lee? Okay mine again Sticking with the TV theme Because basically we've just all been doing fuck all sitting on it's like January well also if you've not been doing fuck all you're about to start doing fuck all because you're you're exhausted from Christmas in New Year so uh the latest 24 hours in police custody oh good one oh Emma's nodding you've seen it it is absolutely I mean it sounds awful that it's so entertaining because it really is real life what give us the the flavor of the oh god I just say basically uh two guys are shot an hour of each other they found out they find out their father and son and someone's gone in and shot them both and and initially I was like oh I said to Andrew we're watching it and I was like oh obviously they were wrong and like involved in like drugs and shit and it's a but no it is not that and it's wild and it just yeah you've got to watch it I mean I was literally like holy moly what the fuck weren't you Ems always a good one isn't it it's a good one I am going to talk that up it's really good there's two episodes as well there's two you need to get it on tonight make sure you've got enough time to watch one after the other what channel is it again channel four perfect done thank you girl I ended up not going to sleep till 2am because I was like oh I've just got to yeah well I did that with the Titanic thing and then I ended up feeling really depressed so what I will say is line yourself up something jolly yeah you have to watch something happy after you watch something sad I do that I was like this is such like winter blues anyway I was like why have I done that but anyway I might try and watch that Titanic thing tonight it is good VPN VPN in uh imzy um okay mine's really random i've decided that 2026 is the year that i get into cryptic crosswords oh okay so you do know i need to hook you up with tom reed wilson by the way you know tom's favorite thing in the world is his cryptic bloody crossword oh really yeah like obsessed it's all he ever does on set the times it's like it's a crossword where like the clue is cryptic yeah it's like it's not what it seems and you have to use certain methods to work out what the answer is anyway I decided that this year I was going to get into it anyway I've become I'm obsessed.

31:30And therefore, my recommendation for people is to join me. And there's a website called Minute Cryptic. And every day it gives you like one cryptic crossword clue. So it's a website or an app? It's a website. They might have an app. Anyway. Well, is it like the same crossword then? No, so they just give you one clue. They just give you one clue rather than the whole crossword. they just give you one cryptic crossword clue for you to work out every day like a word and give us like an example okay okay fine fine fine so today does this it's really hard Lou it's really hard okay yeah today's one is mr potato head during formative years close to toddler see that's the clue seed potato no i don't think that's the answer no do you know the answer well i haven't really sorted it what's the first bit again you should have given us an example of one you fucking solved i mean that's so stupid i'm trying to understand and you can't even explain it because you don't fucking know right let me find one that you've worked out hunted lost bear sleep deprived grizzly with an appetite.

32:51Hunted lost bear? Paddington's a good shout. Sleep deprived grizzly with an appetite. And the answer Paddington growler is hungrily. Is what? Hungrily. What's that got to do with the bear? Should we move on to messages? Nobody's doing this, Reco. It's stupid. Oh, you must. It's so exciting. It uses your brain. How did you work that out?

33:19Anna Williamson:Brain is good. And thank God that you have the brain, Imo, and that Lou and I are. So basically, you work it out because hunted, lost bear means it's hunted losing the bear. So bear is Ted. So you take away the Ted from hunted. So you get hun. Then it says sleep deprived grizzly. So sleep can also be ZZ. So you take the ZZ out of Grizzly. So you get Hungryly. And that means an appetite. As a consolation prize, because I think you've lost us as in Lou and I with this. But I am going to give you Tom's number because you and Tom will jizz off to this like you wouldn't believe. Okay. So, I mean, no one's going to do it.

34:00But if anyone else likes cryptics, they can slide into my DMs and we can have a fun time together. I love that for you, Im.

34:07Anna Williamson:I love that for you. That's not why people normally slide into someone's DMs for a fun time. She's going PG. If you like to go, I'm fine. Speaking of sliding into DMs, I keep getting one DM from this one person. No matter how much I keep blocking them, literally every day, it's just like, I want to come on your tips. How do they keep sliding in? I don't know, but I keep blocking them. And it's like, I've become quite enjoying it now. You'll be disappointed the one day they don't send it. Yeah, you will. They've got bored of me now. Come on your tits now. Like, OK. Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun.

34:46An army hung on her every word. My champions, I have sold my chariot on Carvana.

34:54Anna Williamson:T 'was a lovely SUV, an inexplicably queenly offer. They're even coming to the castle to collect it. Tonight, we feast. An offer you can feast on. Sell your car today. on Carvana. Pick up these mail. Bye. Who says Halloween only lasts one day? With Wayfair, one night of Halloween becomes a whole season at home. From larger-than-life yard decor and moody lighting to festive accents for every room in the house, Wayfair has what you need to make Halloween feel like magic all in one place. Because the best Halloween memories aren't made in just one night. They're made all season long. Shop Halloween decor now at Wayfair.com.

35:39Anna Williamson:All right, message from an on. So, Morris. Hi, Luanna. My wife and I love the pod. Thanks, Mozza. We listen together. Nothing bonds a husband and wife quite like a truly grim story. So here's one from my time working as a paramedic. Good old NHS worker. Absolutely. Gory story. Oh, there it is. Years ago, I was on a Saturday night shift covering Town Centre, the kind of place fuelled by cheap booze, questionable decisions, and a nearby massive university. Oh, the pride of Britain. I think we can all agree. Just after midnight, I'd barely finished my midnight lunch when a job comes in. Two young females collapsed inside a subway shop.

36:18Anna Williamson:Two units dispatched, blue lights on. We're running through reds, cracking dark jokes, mentally preparing for whatever fresh hell was waiting. We arrive. Bystanders wave us down. We grab the kit. The subway door swings open and the smell. It was like being slapped in the face by a 12-inch meatball marinara wrapped in raw sewage. inside two girls on the floor dressed to impress pissed and of simultaneously shat themselves and absolutely drenched in vomit and excrement oh my god they were at the same time oh that's like when women link their periods they have linked their their drunken debauchedness yeah uh there was so much on the floor uh they could have been making snow angels in despair oh how revolting and because the british public never disappoint people were stepping over the two girls to order food now what does this remind you of the blackboard shop yeah yeah nothing says dedication like ignoring a body fluid crime scene to get your tune a foot long oh we start working on the smell of everything don't this is awful we start working on the girls ivs in vitals taken trying not to cry.

37:32Anna Williamson:After about 10 minutes, a lad walks in. One of the girls turns to me and says, that's my new boyfriend. We've only been together a week. I've never seen a man reconsider his entire future so fast. We transported one of them to the emergency department and then our ambulance had to be taken out of service and deep cleaned. Oh God, what is wrong with people? So we spent the rest of the shift scrubbing, laughing, gagging repeatedly, existentially broken but still somehow entertained. I hope that was seatably grim. It was, babes. We love the pod. Please never stop ruining our advertising. It's all the best, Morris.

38:08Anna Williamson:P.S. still serving the British public 13 years on. And we salute you, Morris. We salute you. What a disgrace. That's such a Brit story. It is such a... I mean, let's be honest now. I think we've all done it. I remember being in... I'm not going to lie, guys. You know, there's me judging and I can't judge. I remember being 19 years old going to visit my friend at Leicester University we all had a kebab and then took a piss on a public pavement like seriously drunk okay i just pulled a shock face but last time i was drunk in brighton and i really needed a pee and when i was walking on they had like these big like um pots with trees and stuff in them you've told and i just squatted sat on the edge sat on it pulled my nickies to the side and peed in it well to be fair that's quite i think that's quite discreet i literally just squatted in the middle of the I couldn't even tell I was doing it.

38:57I'm very classy when I wild wee. Classy. Classy. I'm like a, you know, classy. I bet there's a market for like that, you know, on Tintanet. Like an OnlyFans. Oh, for sure. Join me for my today's daily wild wee. Today, I'm in Brighton, pissing discreetly in a plant pot. You know that. You know there is a wee. Yeah.

39:19Anna Williamson:Maybe my, maybe my. That's a good way to make some spare cash. from my new doobes lifestyle. It's very expensive out here. Well, there you go. Wild weeing it is. Maybe my sexy troller. Wild weeing at Wild Waddy. Yeah. Yeah.

39:36Anna Williamson:Wild Waddy Waterpark. Today's Wild wee. You know how you wanted last year, you were talking about how you almost set up lose leaves with your salad. You could do lose leeks. Oh, very good. Or loo peas. Loo peas. Loo peas. I just got a picture. the puppy is asleep oh by the way after this I'm fully expecting videos it's called crumble crumble good it's called crumble crumble but Lucy also has the has the same dog essentially has it called cookie so we have cookie and crumble that is actually very cute next message from Anon so arson fire arson fire which is which is great but also not funny about arson you know well no we shouldn't make arson jokes but arse on fire is hilarious seeing as my arse has been on fire ever since I inhaled 84 cheese boards since Christmas Eve oh the smell of you I can smell it through the screen right hi Luanamo I've got a really big problem that I want to run past you both and get advice I know that you'll be brutally honest with me and that is what I need please oh please give me the name arson fire okay my 19 year old daughter has been in a two-year relationship two-year relationship with her boyfriend at the beginning he was lovely hard-working sweet and kind but recently I've noticed a big change in him and my gut is telling me something is not right he recently lost his job and has gone back to being a pot wash in his local pub with no real intentions of finding a full-time job he says he wants to start his own business but he doesn't drive he's got no qualifications or skills in the area that he wants my daughter drives him everywhere she works hard with a full-time job and usually ends up paying for everything while he only seems to have enough money for his weed he has her location on her phone and questions her every move he has passwords to all her social media accounts and deletes people he thinks she shouldn't be talking to he tells her not to wear certain things and makes comments if she's wearing something he doesn't like when they argue, he usually ends up crying, not just a few tears.

41:49He sobs like a baby. All these behaviors don't sit well with me and I'm concerned. I've tried talking to my daughter about it, openly and honestly, but she just ends up defending him and says he's struggling at the moment. I'm so aware of saying too much as I don't want to drive her away and for her to feel that she has nobody. She says she loves him so much. Please give me advice on what to do. It's driving me insane and it's making me really sad I don't want her to think I know better than her but I'm now in my late 40s we've all been there done that and can spot red flags a mile off thank you ladies I

42:24Anna Williamson:love your pod so bloody much thank you oh my god I think we can all relate to this in the sense of yeah it's horrible because you don't want to drive her away yeah and you're and you're right it's a really hard position to not drive and you're right with that because yeah if she does if she feels that you're shutting her out or or being too much yeah you risk her you know not confiding you at all but quite honestly look you've said it yeah the guy's no good the guy is a walking bloody cacophony of red flags uh he's controlling her he nobody should ever have access to your phone to your passwords should ever be tracking you telling you what you can and can't do you know and I think all you can really do I don't know what you girls think but for me I think it's really just keep repeating that to her in a way that is not aggressive or accusatory or like you're telling her off but in a way where she will hopefully listen and just say look and and showing her examples of this behavior and why it's not right and why it's not okay and I think for for me and I guess I would be just trying to help build on her self-esteem and her self-confidence because really that's where it comes down to is if she is feeling comfortable and we now know we're old and wizened and been there done it especially me and lou who have been in abusive relationships you think back to when we were younger lou i mean we were both sort of this age weren't we with these absolute wrong ones who were doing similar behavior to us and now in our late 30s 40s we're like you do have like hindsight and you do get you know you don't want to like lecture people like young people because i remember when i was young being you don't listen you don't listen what about like sitting down together and watching a movie or a documentary which is kind of like like watch something like Made.

44:06Do you remember that, girls? Yes. That Netflix, that Made. And there's loads of, you know, seek out like a documentary maybe. I don't know if you both like that. We all love our crime documentaries. But it might be good to do something like that so that she is watching essentially her life, but it's not her life. It's from someone else's perspective. So if you can do like a little movie night or be like, oh my God, like someone's recommended this, Let's watch it. It would be really interesting, I think, to watch something like that with her and see if she recognizes that maybe what she's watching is that reflective of her life and then like what happens.

44:44Because you do get documentaries where, you know, there's domestic abuse that's happened and blah, blah, blah. And I think that... Because she doesn't know at this age. You know, you don't know. She doesn't know, but when you watch it from something else and see how that makes you feel, ultimately you know what's right and wrong. But when you're in something, it's really hard to recognize that you're in that wrong, even though you know the right and the wrong. So I think that maybe if you could do something like that, like a mom and daughter type of bonding thing, and then that might open up like maybe conversations and get her to start realizing that actually the relationship she's in isn't right and isn't healthy and isn't what a relationship should look like.

45:28Anna Williamson:I love that. And to add to that as well, I wonder as well, if there's a way you can bring in like healthy males in your life as well for her to kind of model what is a healthy guy, you know, because this is not a healthy relationship with this guy at all, as I think we can all recognize. And I remember when I came out of my abusive relationship in my early 20s, I would consider both my brothers to be very, you know, emotionally healthy men. And it was both of my brothers, actually, who just called it as it is to me. They were just like, sis if we were behaving like this to to our girlfriends you know it's a hard no like it's just a hard no it's not how we've been brought up it's not how we would you know that's not respectful and I think if you can possibly have any male cousins or you know anyone that's kind of her age maybe just to help um give her a bit of context around what is respectful behavior from a guy I think can possibly help to it's really hard and I think as a mom you're doing the right thing by not shutting her out and pushing her away but I really feel for you because this is something I'm afraid you're just going to have to keep a grip on until she she makes that decision right oh it's so awful really hard your child go through something like that so it does progress it does progress in one direction unfortunately yeah it's typically I've got a friend actually who's in a similar situation with her daughter actually to to this and um and all she can do is just keep letting her daughter know what is acceptable behavior and what's not um and keep encouraging her to make you know better choices good luck good luck lovely um message from anonymous so hayward jablome jablome jablome jablome jablome jablome jablome jablome oh hey would you blow me oh my god sorry slow start to the year uh hi girls man fanny in here i love the pod and all that was like it mate please keep me an on call me hey would you blow me i was listening back to your old eps uh you the guy that keeps dming me i was listening back to your old eps around the time yes you can jizz on my tits uh around the time uh you wanting people's cruise stories hearing this and having just been on a cruise i just have to share what went down so it was always settle in peeps being a gay 19 year old and going on a cruise you'd never know what to expect and how and how many of your kind would be on a board so as you do i pull out grinder as i expected there weren't many gays around which left me with a small pool to choose from i get chatting to this 35 year old american and yes i know the age gap is questionable but hey i'm horny and a gay's got to do what a gay's got to do later that night dick be dick and there it is later that night i'm sat in the club aboard the ship and mr american who i had been chatting with on Grindr comes over.

48:09We get talking and over the time spent in the club, we get more

48:12Anna Williamson:drinks and have a dance. When the club closed, we went for a stroll around the top decks. Approaching a disabled toilet, we both look at each other and have the same idea. So off we go into this toilet and we're getting down to business. We're both taking turns sucking each other off and then I'm bent over the baby. Oh, why does that sound so wrong? I'm bent over the baby changing table when he decides to start eating me out. After a while of being in this toilet and no dick up the shitty yet so beautifully put my friend he asked I mean poetic it's poetic he asks if I want to go back to his room of course I say yes so off out the toilet we went up to his room and as we're walking there he's talking about something I really should have been listening to but all I can think about is why fuck have I just spent an hour in the toilet having my hole licked like a twister lolly when you can have a free room right below us when you have a free room was not what I was about to walk into.

49:07Anna Williamson:As he opens his door there is what I can only assume is a 60 year old fast asleep in the bed with a crap machine on. No CPAP. Oh CPAP sorry I haven't got my bins on. Is that a breathing machine? Yeah like yeah helps you breathe. That can help you a machine. If you've got like sleep apnea like oh my god it looks like a massive breathing oxygen Yeah, like a big mask. Big nebulizer. So first you put in the bed with a CPAP machine on. Now this was very unexpected. What made it worse was the fact that the guy I was hooking up with had told me that I just wasn't listening. What? He told me that I was sharing a room.

49:42Anna Williamson:But what he also said was that he was practically sharing a bed. His travel agent had booked him into a room with another solo traveler and the crews had thought they were together and had made up the beds as they were two twins. So now they were one big queen. at this point i should have had some morals and told the american that it would be disrespectful to do anything in the room while this stranger was occupying this is nuts girls but i had one too many vodka cokes and basically a dripping dick so i wasn't gonna let that stop me so we fucked and we fucked also while i've got sleeping sam next to me oh my god it is nebulizer after we finished oh my god imagine if he's just dead this is where the story stop it don't if it goes this way Lou no after we had finished my hookup had fallen asleep next to this man which I'd found quite funny as he'd been sleeping on the sofa the past two nights I quietly got up and was laughing in my head at the thought of this older man waking up to see his naked roommate spread out on the bed butt naked dick in dick dick a flapping how did he not wake up before I left I just had probably death I mean who knows had to snap a pic just for proof this story is like oh good we like Oh my God.

50:52Anna Williamson:Oh my God. Now we can't post this for obvious reasons of privacy, but we have got the picture, guys. For proof of the story, I knew it would be quite a corker for future tellings. I'm just glad the man hadn't woken up. Now that would have been awkward. Oh my God. We have now got a photo. Wait, so that guy with the... Emoji over his knot. Yeah. He is the one he's just fucked. And then that dude sleeping next to him... Next to him. is his housemate. His roommate. Yeah. That he's never met that's a stranger. Can we also just say, guys, this is not a queen-sized bed. But why would that? It's fucking tiny.

51:30Anna Williamson:It's like a... But why wouldn't you be, like, ask them to separate the bed? I bet that was his partner or something and they have, like, a weird thing going on. This is shocking. I need to know more. Did the man ever wake up? Did he ever fess up to the man? I mean, I mean, so many questions, but, I mean, listen, well done. They had to know each other. What an impressive story, though. Great story. And we do love the photo evidence. Thanks so much. Thank you for that. If you want to get in touch, you can email us, Luanna at everythingluanna.com. So out of sync for me. Or you can drop us a WhatsApp on 07745 266 947.

52:15Seven. Evening. Buyer's remorse. Buy a new car? I'll be moving in. Let's get started. Sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana. You what? Yeah, great price. I even have seven days to love it or return it. So there's no... No, no buyer's remorse. More like buyer's rejoice? I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it. Buyer's rejoice. Buy your car today on Carvana. Limitations and exclusions may apply. See our seven-day return policy at Carvana.com. Who says Halloween only lasts one day? With Wayfair, one night of Halloween becomes a whole season at home. From larger-than-life yard decor and moody lighting to festive accents for every room in the house, Wayfair has what you need to make Halloween feel like magic all in one place.

53:03Because the best Halloween memories aren't made in just one night. They're made all season long. Shop Halloween decor now at Wayfair.com. Way fair, every style, every home Right, now newsy bits. I've got no idea what's been going on in the world. Well, this is quite interesting actually. No, I have seen this because I then thought fucking Vicky Patterson, who we obviously love. And then I was like, shit, now I'm getting a puppy. But Vicky Patterson has hit out at Kim and Khloe Kardashian for giving their kids puppies for Christmas.

53:37Anna Williamson:Yeah. And Peter's also blasted them for inexcusably callous behaviour. I think that's a bit strong well if you haven't seen this guy so basically the Kardashians gave it was Kim that gave all four of her kids a Pomeranian puppy oh she got four that's so cute they've got friends see I think this is nice I think this is positive so well it is if they're being looked after I guess is the whole point of this so the Kardashians so the Kardashians have got a load of puppies uh has got their kids puppies for christmas um chloe also gave uh their kids a puppy as well um uh and they as as always is often the way particularly with the kardashians they've been hit by a massive backlash uh as you say vicky uh who is a big dog lover uh we love vicky by the way she called out the kardashian sisters for ignoring the homeless animal crisis um oh my god they've got 654 million instagram followers as well vicky wrote i've been deliberating doing this post yeah it basically is uh been deliberating doing this post for a couple of days because i have a zero desire to incur the rosh of kardashian fans the world over especially when i'm having such a lovely break but honestly some things are worth getting trolled over she says i understand wanting to make your kids happy at christmas as a mother i'm sure that that desire is paramount and chloe and kim are no different except they are as two of the most recognizable and followed women on the planet they had the opportunity to use their platform and influence to help shelter dogs across the world.

55:07Anna Williamson:Instead, they chose to ignore the homeless animal crisis and brought pet dogs for their children from breeders. She continued, I'm not trying to be judgmental here. And trust me when I say I love keeping up with the Kardashians as much as the next gal. But this is about responsibility and the impact on these sisters choosing, adopting over designer dog shopping that could have helped thousands of homeless animals' lives. And listen, I'm so glad these adorable animals went to homes with disposable income and lots of people to love them. I just think they had an opportunity to do something really great, in my opinion.

55:38Anna Williamson:So she then sort of stressed and went on to say dogs aren't gifts, you know, asking people to carefully consider adoption or donate to shelters instead. I mean, PETA have hit out as well. I saw, you know, the spokesman for PETA was pretty impassioned saying that, you know, they now believe that, you know, Kim and Courtney should, in quote unquote, do the right thing and go and donate to animal shelters. What, give their dogs to a shelter then? No, go and donate to animal shelters. Can I just say, like, stuff like this fucks me off. I do think people do need to sort of mind their own business a bit on this.

56:11Mind your own business? Yeah, I do think so as well. Like, just because the effect, do you know what got me the most when, like, I became in the public eye, especially for The Apprentice? And people were like, oh, you know, how do you feel being such a role model for, like, women in business? Fuck that. I don't want to be a role model for anyone. And probably nor do they. Like, why can't they just live their life buying what they want, when they want, with the money that they've earned? It's not their fault that they've been catapulted onto this platform, right? This is what people have done to them.

56:42Like, people have made them popular and put this in this. Well, it's the people that are commenting are making them famous. Yeah, so, but I just feel like, why does everyone stick their nose in? Just let them have the fucking puppies and live their life. And I get that there's lots of dogs in shelters, but lots and lots. I know that a lot of animal shelters in England will not let you adopt if you have children under 12 in your house. Exactly. Because you don't know the history of these dogs. And it's really awful that they're in shelters and looking for new homes. And you'd like to think that all of them were cute and came with no problems and no issues and no behavioral issues.

57:19But the reality is that a lot of these dogs are in shelters because of behavioral issues that families have experienced with these dogs with children. And they are not suitable to be housed with children. So, you know, it's all like Vicky has rehoused two puppies from shelters. And that's great. I think they were like six months old or something. Yeah, she's got lovely labs, hasn't she? But she has no kids. So, you know, like you've got four young children in the house. It's different. like you're not gonna risk your kids it's why I didn't why I didn't adopt a dog in Dubai I'm not willing to risk my kid's safety on taking a pun on a dog that I have no history about I've got no record of it I don't know where it's from what it's been through what it's seen how it's you know what it's been treated like or what it could do why would you risk it you wouldn't

58:10Anna Williamson:but also Lou I think it also comes down to the fact that people are entitled to do what they want with their choices with their money that they've earned like why should they now go and donate to a shelter because peter have said that like no i think they'll do what they want with their money like i just think it's what it comes down to and i say i'm i'm i'm i'm a big fan more and more now of people just minding their own goddamn business and getting on with their own lives and you know if your advice or judgment hasn't been asked for then then then keep it yourself i think um that's not at vicky by the way sorry that's that's you know kind of people in general about everything i think probably what's where the backlash has come is that people will probably think that the kardashians have got the dogs you know as a five minute wander cute little puppies for the kiddies and then next week you know the puppies will be you know no one will care about them anymore why are people thinking that but they might not exactly but they are they have the ability to provide beautiful homes for these dogs when they travel get a dog sitter but what it comes down to is assumption and as you say yeah i don't know they're kardashians i don't know if they are massive dog lovers for all we know they could be they could have been choosing these dogs for years months you know have a complete system but who knows i think it's always assumption where judgment comes in quite quickly and to your point on the homeless dog i think it's wonderful to rehome a dog um as as a family we've had so many dogs we used to breed dogs actually when when we were kids um ourselves so we've had to the dog crisis by breeding well but you know that that's backyard breeder that's we were we were kennel club thank you very much um but we but you know but that's as a family we lived on a small holding you know we that's what we did we live in the countryside and and we and we had and we had puppies and and we had dogs always have had my parents have but we've also rehomed as well but i think to your point i actually went around um the Dogs Trust with Pete Wicks not that long ago because we may or may not think about you know a dog at some point and he said I'll help you you know rehome a dog but actually when we went around Dogs Trust which was amazing the one in Basildon there actually weren't any dogs available for rehoming for a start because so many people which is wonderful had come forward to be on the list but equally to your point they were like there are no dogs suitable to be homed in a house with children so and as you say well because you don't want to put your children at risk you don't want to put the dog at risk the dogs have have possibly have extra needs as well and also how awful would it be for a homeless charity to have then given a dog and for the dog then to do create something harmful or or whatever it wouldn't be in anyone's interest so i think i always we get the backlash i do think that people you know i think it's a fair point but i think at the end of the day everyone should be allowed to make their own choices.

1:01:00Yeah, I agree. All right, next little one. Was Norman a rescue, Imo? I've got to feel it. No. No. No, we bought Norman. So we're all bastards, basically. We've all got puppies. Right, just, I saw this. We're going to touch on this because we are rambling a bit on this part. Yeah, let's just whiz. This is more Kardashian shite that are dominating our news. But Alabama Barker, who is the daughter of Kourtney Kardashian's husband. Travis Barker. Basically, he bought her a load of Christmas presents from, she's 20, and she did like a haul on TikTok. It got over nine, I got over nine million views.

1:01:40And she got like$200 ,000 worth of Christmas presents, which is fine again, because look, when they're rich, they've probably spent$200 ,000. Yeah. But when you think about how loaded they are, they've probably spent percentage wise the same on their kid as we would on ours. I mean probably if you think about it like they're probably do you know what I mean they actually but the backlash has come

1:02:04Anna Williamson:because he bought her some lingerie agent provocateur which was on the list which is quite I don't think there's anything wrong with that which is quite people are like why did her dad buy her lingerie I'm defending this again let them fucking spend what they want my dad's bought me underwear my dad bought me my first ever bra it was from Tammy Girl and it was black velvet and it was like had padding in it and it had it was a 30AA I think and it had a little love heart on it and I loved it because it was padded and I felt like I had boobies and my dad bought me that bra and I'll never forget that and we need to normalise dads doing normal shit yes doing stuff like that I wanted my dad dropping 200 grand in Asia Proctor I wanted my dad honestly I would have had my dad at the birth of my kids like I think why should it make any difference no one would raise an eyebrow if it was a mum that had bought their kids some Asian Provocator laundry So I just think, you know what?

1:02:58Do you think so, Ims? Do you think differently? I think there is a difference between buying someone like M &S bras and pants to Asian provocateur bras and pants. But do we know? It was like corsets and stuff. It was more outerwear, I felt, when I saw the whole, like she was showing, well, I didn't watch the whole video, but there was like two corsets, which I would wear out, like, Like, so, and then like a nightie, like a leopard, I think it was like leopard print or something, but like a, kind of like a silk nightie that you go to sleep in, which wasn't overly sexy, to be honest. I didn't think it was that bad.

1:03:34Anna Williamson:So even if it was sexy, I mean, maybe I'm, I don't know, maybe I'm spending too much time with Dr. Tara on Stesco dating. I think it's fancy or dirt. Oh, I'm balding. No, but I just think it, you know, sex and bodies, it's just sex and bodies. I don't think they're anything to be sort of, I don't know, weirded about. I just think if she put it on her list and that's, he was just, I mean, my dad would just go through a list, you know, back in the day and just, you know, buy whatever was on it. You know what I mean? Wouldn't even give it much thought. He probably didn't give it much thought. But, you know, hey, each to their own.

1:04:05Each to their own. Anyway, enough of the Kardashians in this week. We never talk about the Kardashians. We're not really massive. We're not fans or not fans. I've never really watched a show even.

1:04:16Anna Williamson:Just a bit meh about the Kardashians, if I'm honest with you. Well, then we're right. I do you, Kardashians. You do you. Right. So, let's move on to... It's the Weirdo of the Week. Pitchy. Right, first off, Anonymous. So, Maureen, hi, lovely ladies. I'd like to nominate myself for Weirdo of the Week. Go on, Mozza. My friends introduced me to period cups recently. Oh, this is an MO. Go on, girl. This is an MO here. And I'm fully converted. They are great. but I realized I love watching my period pour out of the cup when I empty it. Imo does this, don't you? You do this, Imo. I've only ever used tampons before so I've never seen a period.

1:04:53Anna Williamson:She drinks it. Ew, vampire. But my gosh, does my cup fill up? There is so much blood. I love comparing it monthly to see if the consistency, volume and color changes. I never knew how gloopy and dark periods are. I hope you're enjoying a lunch, guys. I don't know why but I find it so interesting. My boyfriend also asked to see it one day so I showed him. He said he wishes he could unsee it. I also love emptying it in the shower to see how much of the bottom of the bath I can fill. Don't worry, I clean it up after. Maureen. I mean, I think there's a healthy fascination with your body. I'm kind of, having started my HRT.

1:05:29Anna Williamson:It's probably good. Yeah, I bleed. I've had my first period since my HRT girls and it was a bit of a whopper. Oh my God, you're so young to be on HRT. Well, you can start in your 30s and even before perimenopause. but definitely I've got a bit of an obsession now of my first period in HRT actually I can sort of relate to this Why, what happened? Why was it different? No, just because it was a bit different just a bit heavier and a bit more severe So, yeah Heavy and severe I might get a moon cup, I'm going to do a Maureen You should get one Yeah, just to measure it Compare it with Imo Imo, can you video your moon cup next time so we can have a look Right, we've got another Anon So, Blondie Bush.

1:06:15Hello, Luanna, Imo, and anyone else I may have forgotten. I'm a new listener and trying to binge listen the pod. I'm currently listening all the way back in 2022 while trying to keep up to date with your recent records. I believe what I'm about to say would be a good candidate for Weirder of the Week. As I'm not sure who may be listening, I'd like to amane renonymous. Oh, she's put, please call me I'm a whore. Sorry, I'm a whore. I didn't read your message properly. Terrible. I've recently said this out loud to some close friends and believe me when I tell you, the look of disappointment and disgust, it confirmed how weird I actually am and probably best keeps and thoughts to myself.

1:06:56When I look at bums, I always wonder if they smell nice. I do not mean the arsehole. I just mean the arse crack. If I have not had a wash for a day or two, I sometimes slide my finger up and down, my arse crack. We've all done this. And think that I smell delightful. I do that. We've all done this. And always wonder if other adult people's bums smell the same or if they smell shitty. I'm going to do it now. It's not any kind of bum. It has to be a very peachy and chunky and something I can potentially pick. Clean arse. What, does yours smell clean? Yeah. I don't know if I want to do it. Shall I do it?

1:07:37Are we all in a bum sniff on the bum? Yeah. We've all done a scratch and sniff. Have you ridden this morning though, Leigh? Yeah, three horses. Oh, your ass crack is going to stink.

1:07:46Anna Williamson:Hold on. Oh, it's a bit worse. Yeah, it's a bit busy day. It's at this point, it's at this point, I've never thought I'd say I'd be glad she's in Dubai right now, but I am right now. So I haven't got that in my face. What is it? What is it about like your own smells that you like? Like I could smell that and I would say, it doesn't smell shitty, it just smells like a sweaty bum. Like our own fart smells. If anyone else smelled it, they'd be like, oh, that's gross. Whereas I now, for the rest of this pod, will be just casually sort of having a little finger sniff. A comfort sniff. A comfort sniff.

1:08:20Anyway, she says, I always have the same thoughts on belly buttons. I wonder if they also smell nice. And if that person has dirty sex, similar to the bum thought, it cannot just be any kind of belly button. However, this is harder to explain over email. Would this make me the winner of Weirdo of the Week? she said I hope Anna hasn't gagged at my wayward thoughts as you were always told you are all fabulous and doing a great job keeping me sane and laughing out loud getting weird looks in the process I follow you all on socials and love how close you all are and I feel like you're my extended family you have been the shining light for me in a very dark period of time in my life at the moment please keep doing what you're doing P.S.

1:09:03oh sorry about this one Anna but she says I have a girl crush on Imo and Louisa. It's fine, I'll take it. They would be my type if I was to ever swing the other way. She's not into blondes, Anna.

1:09:15Anna Williamson:It's fine, I'll take my dirty troller. I'll have that one. But that's fine, babes. Well, I definitely think she's the weirdo of the week. Well, I get the whole, you know, having a sniff of your nethers. I get them both, to be honest. but the belly button thing's a bit odd oh i don't like belly button my belly button's so weird since i've had kids i mean it's like all saggy and sad it looks like an upside down smile my belly button i wonder if you can get like belly button belly button you can you can you actually can you actually can you actually can yeah you can well but how do you get a new belly button when there's you haven't got an umbilical cord anymore i don't know i've seen people there's a name for it when you get belly button surgery corrective surgery there's a name for it i i wonder girls if we've got to a point if we've got to a point at 2026 with the weird of the week that we've we've kind of got to point where we're just all a little bit weird now and it's so hard to call the weirdo of the week because i don't think either of the girls are weird this is such an open space i'm just gonna say girls i'm gonna say we're all weird well i think both of them are quite normal.

1:10:29Like, of course you're going to inspect your moon cup blood. I would. I'd be like dripping it down the sink. I would. I wouldn't taste it. I wouldn't go that far. No, babes. Emma, have you tasted your moon cup blood? No, I have not. No, that's right. Would you rather drink... Right, I'm doing this instead of my rant because I'm not ranting today. I'm very happy. Because you're zen. But would you rather, okay, drink your period cup, drink your period from a moon cup, and drink the whole full cup or have one suck on a tampon, used tampon. Was it the whole cup? You've got to like drink the whole cup or just on one suck of a tampon.

1:11:16Anna Williamson:I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm going with it. I'll take a suck on the tampon. Yeah, I was thinking that. I would suck the tampon too. I'll take a suck on the old Tammy and hope for the best. or if it was like one shot of blood yeah because it's basically like a big shot maybe it's a bit like my placenta pills i could just you know it's the same thing isn't it just ingesting my own my own blood well it would be your blood either way but you'd have to either drink it from a mean cup or have like one suck of your blood i think it would be less from the suck yeah me too and if you got a good period where it wasn't oh it's like bringing out a sponge though and as you suck it's like it's all like can I just say I'm delighted that we have started 2026 in the usual foul way that we do you see bitches same shit different year welcome aboard that is it guys and we're still being disgusting exactly guys that is it we're going to be back of course every Monday also we forgot to say at the top make sure you're following us please do follow us on YouTube if you're watching us on YouTube bonge you don't have to wait until Monday as though you can obviously catch us on Thursday.

1:12:27Anna Williamson:We've got Luana Totally Extra. We need you, Lufanians. That bat phone is prepped and primed and ready to go. Make sure the quality of your voice notes is what, Imogen? Excellent. Perfect. Thank you. Your emails, please send them in to Luana at everythingluana.com. You can hop onto WhatsApp, send us a voice note or a message. Our number is 07745 266 947. Please tell someone about us. Make them listen. Do follow us. Give us a five-star rating and leave us a review. And guys, we're back on Thursday. So we'll see you then. Bye-bye. Bye. Who says Halloween only lasts one day? With Wayfair, one night of Halloween becomes a whole season at home.

1:13:13From larger-than-life yard decor and moody lighting to festive accents for every room in the house, Wayfair has what you need to make Halloween feel like magic all in one place. because the best Halloween memories aren't made in just one night. They're made all season long. Shop Halloween decor now at Wayfair.com. Wayfair, every style, every home.