' I honestly have no words for this one. '

22:43We arrived in the afternoon, had some beverages in the evening, and we went to bed. The next morning, I fixed myself a cup of tea whilst Donna and two of her close friends were sat drinking coffee on the sofa. There was no more space to sit apart from a really comfortable-looking blue velvet chair facing them. so I sat and joined in the conversation about five minutes later my daughter came to find me to ask me to come and play with her to which I told her I'd just be a minute the chair swivels so I swiveled around and went to get up I glanced down and oh no I'd left a snail trail from my bits on the beautiful navy velvet shit I was wearing pjs that had baggy shorts and underneath that skimpy underwear which had slid to the side.

23:30So my full vag had been a... Vulvet.

23:37You're overachieving today, Amo. My full vag had been happily sat smearing around. I was mortified. I wasn't fully stood yet so I pretended to adjust how I was sitting. I thought about my options. I decided I'd have to wait it out and grab a cloth as soon as everyone else got up. Luckily Donna and her friends were going out within the next hour so I knew they'd have to get up and get ready before then. My daughter kept asking me to come and play and I apologised, told her I couldn't come now whilst I felt like an idiot. Ten minutes later, further panic set in. My cup of tea did its job and I needed a poo.

24:11Right, do I pretend that I spilled tea with the chair swiveled away and then mop it up? What if Donna gets up to grab a cloth and sees my creamy trail? I had to sit it out. I couldn't face the embarrassment. Sat waiting was awful. I couldn't focus on any of the conversations. I was in simmering panic. I'm also the type of person who has a short amount of time from feeling a slight need to poo to almost crapping myself. Another 10 minutes later, the friends realised the time and got up to get ready. I waited an agonising minute and jumped up to grab a dishcloth by the kitchen sink.

24:41Anna Williamson:Use a hand. Desperate times I know. If I use kitchen roll, it would leave those rolled up white bits. Yes. I quickly wet it, managed to clear up the snail trowel without wetting the velvet too much. so someone came to sit on it they weren't suspicious dashed off had a poo and made amends with my bored child thank goodness the guys were still hung over in their rooms the rest of the weekend was great and I got dressed early from then on the velvet chair was immaculate amazed actually at how well velvet cleans up more of the story if you have a baggy relaxed PJ shorts wear your granny pants and don't be smearing your stuff everywhere thanks for all the laughs and sanity love snail trail do you remember eons ago in the Covid days where I accidentally perioded on my rosed velvet office chair.

25:23Anna Williamson:It did clean up very well. Alex never suspected. Really? These are velvet. Very good. Office chairs. Office chairs. Office chairs. Poddy chairs. Right, message from Anonymous. So, Mike Rochburns. Mike Rochburns. Mike Rochburns. No, I'm really sad that's not me. That's a really good one. Mike Rochburns. Hi, Luanimo. I love the pod and all that jazz. I'm writing as a long-time listener and man fan. Hello, babes. Because I'm getting in my own head about something in my relationship and would really value a woman's perspective. Okay. Please keep me anonymous and give me a great porn star name. You're welcome, Imo.

26:01Anna Williamson:Pardon me. I've been with my partner for four years and on the whole, we have an amazing relationship. She's my best friend, drop dead gorgeous, incredibly supportive of me in my career and very driven herself. She's great. She's a power woman. She sounds good. I truly love the life we've built together. Lately though, something has been bothering me Mainly around the sexual and romantic side of things When we do have sex, it's great We have strong chemistry and I make a real effort to listen to her Please her and be attentive to what she needs She's also great at communicating when something doesn't work Which I appreciate The issue is that she often just doesn't seem that interested in sex Or in keeping the romantic spark alive I'm usually the one initiating or planning things to keep our connection strong Scheduling date nights, making sure we eat dinner together Instead of zoning out in front of the TV Booking holidays and weekends away she's happy to go along with it but it really feels like she's making the same kind of effort to nurture that side of our relationship.

26:51Anna Williamson:I'd love to see her take the initiative sometimes you know send a flirty text, plan a surprise or even do something small like buy some nice lingerie or make an effort to seduce me. Instead it often feels like she's comfortable and coasting which leaves me feeling a bit unwanted. She'll joke about being really unromantic and I get that I can't change who she is but it is frustrating that she doesn't seem willing to try and meet me halfway. I try to talk to her about it but those conversations usually end in tension. She tends to say it's just a mismatch in libido or romantic style not a reflection of how she feels about me i understand that but to me it sometimes feels like a bit of a cop-out like she's not interested in putting in the work to improve things even if it is a libido issue i don't really see her taking steps to address it when i had concerns about my own performance in the past i worked on it physically and mentally i've also tried to adapt to her responsive desire by focusing on things i mean this dude is doing everything that i was teeing up to tell him yeah like giving her massages, helping her relax and creating space for intimacy.

27:46Anna Williamson:He is, isn't he? But it feels one-sided. She doesn't seem to put the same energy into us. Lately, her focus has been completely on things like flat renovations or other projects. And I can't help but feel like the romantic side of our relationship keeps getting deprioritized. I don't want to end what we have because when things are good, they're really good. But I can't help wondering if this could be a bigger problem down the line, especially when life gets busier with kids or more stress. I worry that she'll just shut down completely in that department i tried to raise that concern recently and while she reassured me it's not the case i can't shake the feeling that i'm the only one trying to fix things am i overthinking this being unreasonable or selfish i just want to feel desired again like i did in the first few months when she was the one with the higher libido thanks for reading do you know what this is i think sometimes that i could probably be a bit guilty of being like like this woman for sure me too because i feel like you know you do start prioritizing houses and renovations and kids and then that does you know and also I am a bit um like think well it is the man's job to like plan everything like Andrew plans everything I just turn up it's like a running joke I even ask him if he's got my passport so he's very yeah he's very he's big nurturer and planner yeah so I think that sometimes you do just have those like roles in a relationship and like I don't think it's that she doesn't want you but I can I do get what you're saying actually and actually your message has made me think maybe I'm going to buy some spontaneous sexy underwear and do love and plan a nice dinner because actually I think sometimes life just gets in the way and you take each other for granted and you just think well you know if you want like a really good shag it's always going to be there and actually maybe it's not always going to be there if you're feeling like this um I don't think that it wouldn't be that she doesn't desire you or want you I just do think that like people can get complacent sometimes and they do need like a little shake-up and I think maybe you just reiterating some of the points that you've made in this like you're trying to put all this effort in and you just feel like it is unmatched and you you this isn't what you want out of a relationship I think great advice and I think even yeah me me reading this it does it's lovely to hear it from a man that's really putting in the effort to try and you know help his wife a few things i don't know how old she is but um you know libido does change uh for everybody and if she is anywhere around perimenopause i know you said the kids haven't come yet but i don't know what but but this is also i've been doing a lot of work around this um but perimenopause and hormones they shift all the time and it can shift really like in your 20s you know it really can um and so i wonder if there's anything maybe a few tick things you know has anything happened in her life recently that has perhaps played into her stress stress equals zero libido by the way anxiety stress you know all of that it's like it's it is the biggest dampener for a sex life and for desire so has anything happened maybe check in on that has anything changed with work or her personal life you know is she feeling any extra stress anywhere that could be attributing to this um and also just to put in there as well and just to normalize the fact that desire does wane in relationships in the majority like lustful honeymoon period when you want to rip each other's clothes off because actually that's all new and exciting isn't it and then you get to know each other and so it's not as exciting when you know what's like gonna come and what happens and what happens with that this but so so typically we talk about the honeymoon honeymoon period with desire and it typically lasts anything up to sort of six months 18 months tops but it's actually it's but it is actually uh impossible for that level of desire to exist when familiarity kicks in because when we start to have an emotional connection to someone that's why that honeymoon phase is so lustful because because you don't know so much it's dopamine it's all the unknown it's the unknown it's the game playing it's who are they it's figuring each other out that's what drives the desire the the adrenaline the gameplay the minute that starts to shift into you actually giving a shit about them and suddenly you see them in their vulnerable moments you suddenly you know it starts to shift yeah or they have a bad day or suddenly and we all know that time when your relationship starts to pivot and then you stop you stop shagging 18 times on the couch you go should we just sit and watch something on the telly that is when a relationship shifts into another phase and constantly relationships need to evolve and they need to change i did think there's clearly a few things going on for your wife you're trying really hard what i'd also say is it just be careful you're not putting too much pressure on her because again pressure equals like too much too much i would also ask her is there anything that really does excite does she have any little kinks that you haven't explored you know is there anything that i don't know sometimes if you just completely you know some just ask her is there anything that would get you excited that we could try you know and i do think that i have to say that what you're experiencing is very common like with women it is i really really do think that and i don't think it's anything you're not doing you're clearly trying very hard and I honestly she is not an abnormal woman you're talking to two women here that can relate we have been and are at times you're one, you're an amazing husband I just think as best you can keep that communication going and women also just traditionally are not as intersex as guys are that is just kind of like a biological fact you get your anomalies of course but you know the majority of the time the men want it more than the women and that's just a way of the physical versus emotional good luck you sound like you are a great couple I do hope that things can improve for you there we've got a message from a non so Eric till dysfunction hi Luana I thought of messaging after my bizarre evening got another man here Anna so it's for context I'm a gay man who apparently doesn't come across obviously gay to either men or women And because of this, I've had my fair share of awkward encounters with women making moves on me.

33:43It's like your mate Ron. Yeah. Oh, he's so hot. So hot. So here's today's story, ladies and dear Luanna listeners. I've been renovating my house for the last three to four months and finally I've finished. So with today being Friday and having no plans, I thought I'd treat myself to a time massage. I've had them loads of times in different countries, Turkey, Singapore, Egypt. so nothing could have prepared me for the last one I had this evening in Worcestershire. There it is. I booked a 6pm appointment. Seemed a bit late, but they're open till 8, so fine. I parked in a cheeky one-hour bay, walked into the spa.

34:18Behind the counter was a lady who looked a bit different, as in possibly a man dressed as a woman. Nothing against it at all. Whatever makes you happy. So I thought nothing of it, and I paid for a 30-minute oil massage. They do 45 and 60 mins, but I didn't want to commit in case it wasn't great. I get that. Yeah, that's true. A very petite feminine lady showed me to the treatment room, friendly enough. I asked if I needed to take my trousers off because usually abroad I'm already in swim shorts. She told me to either take everything off or just leave my boxers on. So I left my boxers on because ain't no Thai ladies here.

34:52My pecker. I lay face down on the bed, facing the hole, ready for relaxation. it began with a few pumps of oil and she started massaging my arms and back straddling me a bit properly working my neck and shoulders all good nice then she moved up to the top of my head to do my upper arms and shoulders and that's when i felt uh continuous pressure on the back of my head continuous pressure and it wasn't her hands it wasn't her belly either because i could feel the seam of her trousers. I eventually realized it was her foof pressed against the back of my head. I tried to justify it. Maybe the bed was low.

35:34Maybe she didn't realize so. I just let it slide and try to relax. Then she moved down to my legs. While doing my calves, I felt her foof press firmly against the bottom of my foot. She held it there the entire time she did that leg. Then she switched sides. She did it again. My soul left my body. I felt sick. My stomach turned. Oh. As a gay man, I have never seen or felt a woman's bits in my life. I'm a gold star gay. You are. With a star emoji. Yes. To make it worse. At this exact moment, I needed to fart. I thought, why is this happening to me? It felt like a scene from Bridget Jones. I was clenching, praying she'd finish and let me turn over.

36:22Well, I regret that wish because she finished the leg, removed her fanny from my foot, slapped my arse and said, turn that little arse over and we'll do your front. I was now very uncomfortable, wishing I'd sounded more flamboyant. Put on the gayness. I tried to kill the sexual tension by making small talk. So when's your next holiday? How long have you worked here? then panicked because sounded like I was chatting her up. Of course, of course. I turned over. She parted my legs like Moses in the Red Sea, climbed onto the bed and knelt between them. She folded my boxes up high on my inner thigh.

37:02One wrong move, my balls were out. She started rubbing my inner right leg. Every stroke, her nails or fingers brushed the side of my balls, sometimes through the boxes and sometimes not. Dreading my Mr. Man reacting, He's quite an excitable little fucker at the worst times. Quickly distracted myself by talking about my last holiday. Thankfully, it worked. She moved to my other leg, pumped more oil, pushed my leg to the side, got right into my inner thigh. Both legs, same treatment. Then, still kneeling between my legs, she said, That sultry phrase. Would you like any extras? I could rub it in the headlights.

37:41I blurted out, no, thank you. She stayed there and said, you have beautiful eyes I replied oh I'm so tired I'm going to close them shut the panic and I shut my eyes immediately the panic after what felt like an eternity it was probably only six seconds she got off the bed said the session was over hope I enjoyed it I have never got dressed so fast boxers still twisted covered in all I legged it to my car and locked the doors safe to say I'll never be going there again so much for a self-care moment next time I'm going to get a sports massage

38:17Anna Williamson:with Dave from the gym I hope you enjoyed the story ladies and listeners if you did I can also send in the story about the time I went to view a flat in Birmingham and I somehow ended up stuck in a lift with a prostitute wearing nothing but a leather jacket yes only the jacket it was giving pretty women the budget spin off on a serious note thanks for being you and giving glorious entertainment and last minute and the long drives to work in the morning Well, thank you for giving us the entertainment. We'd love to hear more stories, please. And in fact, stories from you guys as well. Do get in touch with us.

38:51Anna Williamson:We'd love to hear it. It's Luanna at everythingluanna.com. Or you can drop us a WhatsApp. Remember, make them clear audio images. Clear audio. They have been much better. Thank you very much. So well done. People listen. Let's keep up the good work, Lufanians. The listeners listen. Indeed. Exactly. We do not want to rage. Producer Imo. No. No. No. No. 947. Who says Halloween only lasts one day? With Wayfair, one night of Halloween becomes a whole season at home. From larger-than-life yard decor and moody lighting to festive accents for every room in the house, Wayfair has what you need to make Halloween feel like magic all in one place.

39:29Because the best Halloween memories aren't made in just one night. They're made all season long. Shop Halloween decor now at Wayfair.com That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R dot com.

39:43On to some newsy bits now. So there is a petition which is for women-only courages on the Tube and it has neared nearly 10 ,000 signatures. It was launched by 21-year-old uni college London student Camille Brown. She said she's had enough of women being unsafe, just the constant public harassment of women on the underground, growing issues, and she actually also accused Transport for London are failing in their approach to tackle it. So her petition says, we always see it, we do say it, but it's still not sorted. She's right. That's in response to the see it, say it, sorted on London Transport.

40:24She says, I'm calling for Sadiq Khan to introduce women-only carriages. So almost 10 ,000 people have signed the petition at the time of writing this. Hopefully it's got to 10 ,000 now, which means that the government will soon need to respond directly to it. we're always hearing stories, aren't we, about harassment on the tube and things.

40:42Anna Williamson:Well, have you had harassment on the tube? Yes. I have. I have 13 ,000 signatures now. Oh, it's now at 13. So the petition says that harassment is particularly prevalent on the tube because it's crowded and closed. An anonymous environment makes victims feel more vulnerable and perpetrators less accountable. Well, that's when I haven't gone on the tube for years, as you know, because I'm terrified of it. But that's the time. The years I commuted, I had legitimate, you know, stiffies in my back, people, you know, all that i got flashed out i got you know guys with their cocks out you know all the time it's weird isn't it but it is because you're in that close environment and they know that you've got no escape exactly and they like seeing your reaction lots of people feel uncomfortable saying stuff yes because you're also scared of what might happen to you get your cock out of my back you filthy pig but lots of people don't have that confidence no but this is great actually i I just think, you know, all she's saying is just introduce one women dedicated carriage on every tube line.

41:41That'll be packed. It's simple, effective and affordable. Minimal investment. Clear signage. Platforms directing women to dedicated spaces. And she's just urging TFL to act and do media action.

41:55Anna Williamson:What are we thinking? I'm thinking this is such an easy win. It's an option, right? You don't have to do it. This isn't a first because cities, Tokyo, Mumbai and Rio de Janeiro, have already implemented women-only carriages. So why don't we follow the trend? I wonder if this would open up to other demographics. Do you know what would happen though in England? You'd then get the blokes in the wigs saying that they're women to go and perv on the women. That's what you'd get. And then, I'm not saying transgender people. I mean that you would get blokes. You get people taking advantage of it. They take advantage of it, put a wig on and say they're a woman and then they've got a whole carriage of women to molest.

42:41Anna Williamson:I'm with you on that. And England would go, okay, that's fine. Yeah, don't worry about it. Don't worry about it. But what I would hope with that is that the majority, if it is a majority then of women, you know, I think a pack of women together can be pretty strong actually. Can you imagine? I think, yeah. They'd all gang up on the blokes. Yeah, it'd be like Handmaid's Tale. Yeah, it would. Honestly, that is literally what happened to Handmaid's Tale. I think that's great. Well, I think that's a great initiative. Why not? And we need to start speaking up for women's rights more. We've been so bloody put down with all the fucking wokeness of the world.

43:09Oh, we can't say that. We may upset that tiny minority. No. Yeah, if we feel unsafe, we feel unsafe. 50 % of us are women and we want our women's rights.

43:17Anna Williamson:Bring back girl power. Yes, and we've all been flashed at, perved at. Have you, Amo? Penises in legs. Probably at some point. I would also like to point out, because I know as well we do, and I'm not just saying this, but there are a lot of very good men in this world. I would like to say men are wonderful and brilliant and it is always the minority that spoils it for everybody. But I just want to say we're not man-hating because we fucking love men and lots of you are incredible. Let's talk about this madness suggested by Anonymous. It's the Marina Coil. Hi, Luanna and Imo. I've called her Marina Coil.

43:50Anna Williamson:Oh, sorry. Sorry, Marina Coil. Love it. I actually thought it was about the Marina Coil. No, no, no. So basically, this lady sent in a message and I thought we could talk about it. Oh, so we're doing a message as a news story. Oh, I love this. Hi, Luanna and Imo. I thought it was going to be about the cause. Go, Lou, you got that in. I'm thinking about getting it in. Hi, Luanna and Imo. Love the pod and all that jazz. Sorry to the woman who hates it. How is she doing, by the way? I'm currently nap-trapped by my four-month-old little boy. Just been scrolling through TikTok and have fallen down the most bizarre, shocking rabbit hole ever.

44:21Anna Williamson:Naturally, my first thought was, well, well, this is definitely one for the Luanna girls. I'm just going to side note, even though I have written in before, I'm still catching up with the pod. I'm about 10 months behind. Oh, keep going back and listen. Keep going, Babs. Go back and listen to previous episodes. And I haven't listened to any of the recent episodes, so I have no idea if this message or any of them will make it onto the pod. I feel it'd be a nice surprise. Anyway, back to the point of the message. I found a TikTok about this girl called Kira Cousins and her baby Bonnie Lee, made by one of her friends.

44:49Anna Williamson:What could be bizarre about that, you might ask? is I some bogstandard story about, is it some bogstandard story about cheating or an affair? Wrong. This girl. I read this. I read this too. This girl apparently faked her entire pregnancy. Yes, I did see this. Used a reborn doll to fool everyone and then told the poor baby dad that the child had died. The absolute psycho went to the extremes of fake hospital appointments. She had a whole bloody baby shower with a bum and everything. That's it, wearing a fake baby bump, fake scans, fake baby shower, using AI to make it look like the bump was moving.

45:28Yeah, she used AI, got the rebound doll to make it look like the doll was moving and was sending that round.

45:35Anna Williamson:Oh my gosh, I honestly, I didn't see that bit. I honestly have no words for this. One, being a mum myself, this makes me so angry for the people who do not experience child loss or miscarriage because it makes an absolute mockery of it. Two, call me harsh, but I don't understand how her friends and family didn't twig on us. Well, I did think that. Yeah, when they went to see the child in Paris. Yeah, but apparently she was like really protective of the kid. Like no one can see it. So no one can like see it and stuff. Well, according to the TikToks, apparently, yeah, just to your point, sorry, Lou, protective of the child.

46:03Anna Williamson:Yeah. So surely when the child doesn't poo or wee or isn't fed and doesn't fucking grow, do you not have alarm bells in your head? Well, that's why she had to say it died, wasn't it? Because it didn't. She must have been. No, I think clearly. I would love to know your thoughts, she said, but I'm absolutely flabbergasted. Love you, pod. Love you, girls. Love this is the pod. It's generally made the hard parts for pregnancy. motherhood oh and then and then this follows the news story so we basically just told you what it is but basically yeah she fatale pregnancy and uses silicon doll yeah to pass it off so here's a picture of her that's the picture i saw the gender reveal picture obviously i would say there's something seriously mentally wrong with her i mean i think for anybody to have to go through that lie and they have to be very delusional uh she said she then said this didn't she she released a statement saying I fake scans messages a whole birth story and acted like a doll was a real baby I know how bad it is I fucked up I just didn't know how to stop once it started I don't have a proper excuse I wasn't in a good headspace but that doesn't make what I did okay I know this is going to stick with me for a long time and I've probably lost friends I'll never get back um she went on to say you didn't deserve to be lied to like that none of you did everyone who came to the gender reveal because she said it was a girl didn't she all the people who gave me gifts the support i fucked up and i've hurt a lot of people and everyone i made look bad along the way the dad and his family especially i'm sorry very odd it's very but you know i mean i i just think people do such fucking weird shit well it's it's very very strange is that but i i know of somebody in real life that did, that faked they had cancer.

47:45Anna Williamson:And they went... Do you think it's attention? They feel like... People do do that. Yeah, and this person faked that they had cancer to the point, like, their hair came off. Like, they, for two years. Two years? Two years, everybody around them. Do you think it was the attention they were getting their life? And then it was bullshit. And it caused a relationship breakdown. How did you find out it was bullshit? Because it was admitted. It was admitted. it was it was bs um well that is just bizarre and totally weird this is it and and and what's interesting about it is that that person has gone on and continues to sort of present as very normal like they just did that and then that's it now it's really really bizarre and i think whatever goes on for people that is wild i'm naturally interested and fascinated what makes people go into that fantasy world or delusion is it an actual medical you know you know mental problem is it something else is it trauma related what is it is it a game is it a joke is it you know i think it's fascinating but who has time for that shit well maybe it was like for this obviously we're just kind of playing with theories but maybe like something happened and she was just like desperate so she came up with this like oh i'm pregnant and then it just it just snowballed and she's just in this line she's like i don't know how to get out of it and i've got to keep going very fucking weird it's very strange let's should we go yeah we absolutely move on but i say but i think it creates a lot of um upset for people unnecessarily so i think it's weird she's weird which speaks to us in volumes because it's time for it's the widow of the week Right, Thea.

49:32Anna Williamson:Hi, Luanamo. Firstly, I effing love you guys. Thank you, babe. You're the besties I so badly miss having. And I make the daily house clean more entertaining. You're welcome. I have a weirdo of the week for you. One of the houses I clean on a weekly basis also has a nanny that looks after her two children. On one of my visits, we were talking about her recent discovery of M &S chocolate-covered custard greens. Oh, never had that. Glorious little morsels, she says, which led to a conversation about biscuits in general. She doesn't drink tea or coffee. Weird, I know. But that's not where the weirdness ended.

50:02Anna Williamson:She disclosed that she likes dunking her biscuits into orange squash. Vile criminal. What kind of criminal perverted behaviour is this? Be careful, peeps. These people walk amongst us. That's what I always say. I could have written this. These people walk amongst us. They do. From faking a pregnancy to dipping bickies in your orange squash. Just need to stay in our bubbles. I hope she doesn't hear this, because if she does, she's going to know it's me that said it. Love you, Thea. Don't be doing that. Don't be doing that. Our next weirdo, we've got a voice note from Lindsay. Lindsay. Hi, Luanna.

50:41It's Lindsay here from Cheshire. I'm just round at my friend's house, and my friend is washing the beef mints in a colander before she cooks it. It was a husband that says she should do this. Is this weird? Yes. I think it's weird. His wife thinks it's weird. And the kids think it's weird. I know. Is this weird? Anyway, I love you. Bye. I'm just loving a good after on that boyfriend. Yes, it's weird.

51:15Anna Williamson:Freaks. It's weird. Also, wash that colander. Don't be sticking your lettuce in there after, Babs. Disgusting. No, it's weird. Right, now we actually have a Widow of the Week. It's time for, it's the Widow of the Week.

51:37Anna Williamson:Is Anonymous, say Scarlet Fever? Scarlet Fever, wow. It says, hi Luanamo, I've debated a while about setting this to you, but I've put my big girl pants on and decided it's now or never. Six months ago, my son's father, my partner, committed suicide. Oh, I'm so sorry. To say it destroyed my world has been an understatement. My life ended with his, but I had to pretend I could go on for our son and our dog. They needed me. To this day, we don't know why, as he left no note. Oh God, that's so horrible. Yeah, tragic. But that doesn't really change the outcome. A 12-year-old growing up without his father, and overnight, everything is now on me.

52:13We found him on a Saturday morning. By Saturday night, I had found your podcast. I've listened to it religiously ever since And I've gone through the entire back catalogue in six months Well done You have gotten me through my long commute Long days at work Going through the motions Long dog walks with my beloved dog And even longer nights once everyone's asleep And my thoughts run wild Wanting to know why I wasn't enough Why our life and family wasn't enough And what did I miss to stop him This weekend I've done something so impulsive For someone who is a professional contingency planner my son was talking about wanting to study history for his GCSEs and his interest in World War II so last night I booked two days of work and a four-day trip to Berlin you all live in your best lives and Louisa and Louisa's who gives a Louisa who gives a fuck doesn't give a fuck what anyone else thinks attitude has inspired me so I'm sending this while sat on the plane waiting to take off to say nothing really other than thank you you all were the best friends and comfort in the dark that i needed the inspiration to get up and keep going when i felt i couldn't perhaps one day i'll be able to thank you all in person and give you a hug to show you how truly grateful i am to all three of you well do you know what well done for like you know keep going keep going and throwing caution to the wind book that trip go on that holiday take the time off work and live your life because you know you can't move backwards you can only move forwards and that you're doing absolutely the right thing.

53:43We're really, really sorry about your loss.

53:44Anna Williamson:But yeah, we're just really honoured that we've been able to keep you company through this shitty time. And you go have fun in Berlin, girl. And also, you could potentially thank us in person because we are, of course, doing Luanna at the big party next year at the Troxie. It's October the 3rd. Saturday, yeah, October the 3rd. You can grab tickets now to see us live. You can touch us, feel us. Not me, Anna and Imo. and you can grab your tickets on everythingluanna.com.

54:15Anna Williamson:Right, it is the end of the pod. It's the end! But it ain't over until the ranty woman speaks. Who says Halloween only lasts one day? With Wayfair, one night of Halloween becomes a whole season at home. From larger-than-life yard decor and moody lighting to festive accents for every room in the house, Wayfair has what you need to make Halloween feel like magic all in one place. Because the best Halloween memories aren't made in just one night. They're made all season long. Shop Halloween decor now at wayfair.com. That's W-A-Y-F-A-I-R dot com. Wayfair, every style, every home. This is a quick one.

54:55Go on. Annoying packaging. Go on. So I bought something, right? And could I fucking open it? no I was trying to rip the box off that bit then I got the outer yeah because it's the more expensive the worse the packaging also it's just a waste of fucking money I'd rather pay less for the thing and then have less packaging yeah I'm with you and I'm like trying to rip it open I couldn't do it and then it's like in an annoying box where you know the top lifts off the bottom and then it's so sticky to each other can we just discuss I'm trying to pry the fucking thing open it's like candles do that it's when you can never lift it and it kind of squeaks when you like trying to lift the fucking thing off.

55:35So relatable. And I just think, do you know what? Just stick it in some fucking bubble wrap and send it to me. In a jiffy bag. It's a waste of my time taking up the annoying packaging. I can't be the only one. It's a short rant, but it's valid. It's good. It's very valid because of my obsession with online shopping. It is. Which will never end.

55:53Anna Williamson:Anyway, that's it. That is it, guys. Top rant, Lou. Don't worry. We're going to be here, of course, next Monday. Don't have to wait until then. We will. on Thursday we've got Luanna Totally Extra that is your episode Lufanians and we need you, we need you send in your emails to Luanna at everythingluanna.com you can go on to WhatsApp you can send a voice note to Imogen Rose Hart, keep it concise and keep the audio quality good please, otherwise she gets very angry. We've got a number we have, it is 07745 266 947 please make sure you follow the podcast by the way, if you're looking at your phone now just click follow in that top right hand corner makes a difference to us diddly dee uh tell someone about us make them listen please give us a five star rating and we'd love a review this week if you're leaving us a review just put the word come boggle oh i was going to go packaging but yours is a lot more interesting okay or you could put packaging just what we'll see you on thursday guys love you over and out