'I was let loose...and I took it too far!'

18:32Anna Williamson:That releases progesterone. Do you think that's why I'm always very placid? I mean, are you already placid? No, but do you know what I mean? I don't get the PMS or PMT, whatever it's called. Well, I was quite interested when she said that. You've got a Marino coil, haven't you? Have you? Which is very interesting because you haven't had children. And normally they prefer to give coil. Well, I might be wrong, but it's easier to fit when you haven't had kids because when you've had children, your cervix obviously sits slightly more open. I don't know about that one. I'll ask her. But they're on speed, Darnell.

19:01Maybe you should get the Marina coil. I am considering it. I have to say, it's been brilliant for me. Bex, you like it, don't you? Do you get periods?

19:09Anna Williamson:Obviously, we don't get periods. And she did say, well, I did say I have friends of mine that have done very well on it. And she did say, obviously, you have the bonus as well of, obviously, as a contraception. I am considering it. I'm considering it. So I was going to give this first little go. Better than pulling out all the time, like you do. Anyway, talking about pulling out. Oh, no, we need to do, we need to do, did you know with Imo, diddla dun dun. This comes from Manfan Connor. Oh, we love a Manfan. Who's in Bath. he says did you know with mo that most of the time when people fill up their cars with petrol or diesel they will potentially spill a couple of milliliters when removing the nozzle yes yes yeah can relate approximately 37 million cars fill up with fuel every day and most spill a little bit if you collected every dropped drop spilled from filling up in the u.s in one day you would have around 37 ,000 gallons.

20:08That's enough to drive around the world 30 times. He says I haven't fact checked it but it blew my mind and I've not fact checked it either and it has blown my mind.

20:17Anna Williamson:So we can just have our minds blown but unconfirmed. Indeed. Unconfirmed blowing. It would make sense, wouldn't it? Right, we've got messages now. We've got a message from a non. So Willy Wankstable, who's actually a lady. She came up with that. Oh, she came up with that. Hi, Luanna Mo. I have a very Luanna story that I feel needs sharing. Go on. When I was 16 and doing my work experience, I decided to work at a mobile petting farm because I've always loved animals. Good idea. Instead of people going to the farm, the farm came to them, which is a cute idea in theory. So off I set on day one with my packed lunch and my wellies.

20:52I arrived at the farm and things are hectic. People rushing around with buckets of feed and water and I assume it's just the morning rush. I'm quickly flagged down by a staff member who says, are you the work experience girl? I nod. Sorry, but you're going to be thrown in the deep end today. We're a bit short-staffed. She sets me my first task, load the animals onto the trailer for the first booking. Can I just say that's no mean feat, right? No. Bearing in mind I've been there 15 minutes and my experience with farm animals is nil, I find this rather ambitious. It's ambitious, folks. She rattles off the list.

21:25Four chickens, two geese, one pig, two guinea pigs, two rabbits and four goats. but make sure it's two mum goats and two baby goats the ear tag numbers must match. Well I think how hard can that be? Start with the guinea pigs and rabbits. Easy. Next the geese. I heard you have to hold their wings down or they can knock you out. Turns out that's accurate but I managed to load them up without losing an eye. Then it's on to the goats. The baby goats are easy to catch so I check their ear tags and set off to find their mums. That's when I discover goats love trampolines. There's a trampoline in their enclosure and a bunch of adult goats bouncing away like kids at a birthday party.

22:07That's so cute. So I climb up and start rugby tackling goats mid-bounce to check the tags. Not quite how I pictured day one of work experience, but the weirdness doesn't stop there. Our first visit was to a care home. We arrive and are greeted by nurses who direct us round to the garden, where lots of patients in wheelchairs are sitting on the decking. We unload all of the animals and set up on the grass below them, which takes 20 minutes to get everyone settled, by which time most of the patients have nodded off. I take a guinea pig up to the decking to see if anyone fancies a cuddle, but the only two ladies who are awake politely decline.

22:43After a while, my colleague says, the nurses say we can head off early. Not much interest today. Just as we're packing up, one of the nurses, a much larger lady, comes over to chat and takes a liking to the chickens. She leans over the pen to stroke one, loses her balance and falls straight in, taking down the fencing and a chicken in the process. There's a loud wailing screech and then dead silence. The wheelchair users all jolt awake. The nurse is mortified, stuck in the wreckage, and my colleague picks up the now very still chicken. My colleague tries to reassure the concerned old people, don't worry, he's just in shock.

23:21He'll be alright as rain once we get back to the trailer. I whisper, so do they really go into shock? She mutters back. No dear, he's definitely brown bread. Oh no. Just didn't want to upset the residents. She's killed the bloody chicken. Squashed. Yes. One chicken down. Let's hope day two isn't as morbid. Day two. I arrive. Hopeful. Things will improve. The trailer's already loaded. Great start. My colleague says, we're off to a nursery in Portsmouth today. Brilliant, I think. At least the kids will actually be awake. We drive into Portsmouth City Centre and the sat-nav says, you have arrived at your destination.

23:57We're parked basically on the high street. My colleague Rins, the caretaker. But no, that's the entrance. Just 200 yards up there past the shops on the left, which means we now have to walk a pig, four goats, four chickens and two geese through Portsmouth High Street. She grabs a bucket of feed, opens all the cages and shakes it. To my shock, they follow her like the Pied Piper of Portsmouth. I take up the rear, counting heads. One pig, four goats, two chickens and one goose. I turn and see the other goose casually strolling into New Look. I hear a scream from the inside. I sprint in, apologise profusely, shoo the goose out the shop and run to catch up with the herd.

24:41We finally reach the nursery. The caretaker, who has a prosthetic leg, is standing on a little grassy mound in the playground. He waves at us and shouts, Found us okay then? The pig starts grunting and staring at him. And before anyone can react, it charges. That's what pigs do sometimes. Straight up the mound, knocks the caretaker clean over and his prosthetic leg flies off and launches into the air. Stop it. Rolling down the hill and lands right at my feet. I just stand there in shock, not entirely sure what to do. I carefully pick his leg up and hold it in disbelief while my colleague wrestles the pig off the one-legged man.

25:22The whole ordeal lasts for about three minutes, though it feels like forever. Thankfully, he saw the funny side and we all ended up in hysterics as he reattached his leg. I laughed about it. Safe to say. My work experience at the Maywell Petted Farm was eventful, but it didn't put me off animals. 11 years later, and I'm a veterinary physio and still work with them every day. Thanks for the endless laughs, girls. I hope my story brings you as many as it brought me and give me a proper farm porn star name. Call me Willy Wack Stable.

25:54Anna Williamson:Very, very good. Well, that whole situation is brilliant. What a joke. It's the bouncing goats for me. I've now never wanted to see something more in my life. I've now wanted to get a go. Yeah, of course you do. Message from Anonymous. so polyester polyester is that you? that's me that's you good morning Nuanimo I absolutely love the podcast and all that jazz I've been an OG listener for years well done babes thank you thank you for your loyalty yes that throughout the past three years after leaving a toxic relationship with a one year old in tow and going through some of the lowest points in my life this podcast has always been my escape oh well thank you it made me laugh while cooking dinner alone when all I wanted to do was cry I've watched the Christmas specials with a glass of wine for company Oh yeah Luanna The big nights in And I've listened to so many others share their stories The advice and warmth you both offer have often reminded me that leaving was the right decision It always is the right decision if you're in a toxic relationship I'm so pleased you feel that Three years on from that incredibly difficult time I now have a happy peaceful life surrounded by people who truly love me And it was without a doubt the best decision I've ever made but now I find myself in a bit of a dilemma.

27:12Anna Williamson:I've been in a relationship for five months with the most incredible man I've ever met. He's kind, he's caring, thoughtful, funny, affectionate. He listens, communicates openly, all the things that I used to hope for but didn't believe existed. He has a great relationship with his family, a solid job and thankfully isn't a man-child. I genuinely feel I've met my soulmates. The issue is I have a close friendship with an ex. We dated when we were younger, from about 19 to 22 and we've stayed really good friends ever since. We share mutual friends, went to school together and I still occasionally speak with his family.

27:46Anna Williamson:He's been an incredible source of support for me over the past three years. When things were hard, we've gone for walks, coffees, lunch and he's even joined my son and me on bike rides. About two years ago, we briefly rekindled our relationship for around six months but I quickly realised we weren't right for each other romantically and since then, we've maintained a purely platonic friendship. My current partner, however, feels uncomfortable with this friendship. We've only seen each other once since I started this relationship as he works away every other month. But my partner has said that he'd really struggle if I continued seeing my ex one on one.

28:17Anna Williamson:And honestly, I do get it. If the roles were reversed, I would probably feel the same way. And I know completely and I now completely understand his feelings. And I know these are valid. The thing is, I don't want to lose this friendship. That's always been part of my life since childhood. And we've always had such an easy supportive bond. I've told my partner that I will prioritize our relationship and avoid seeing my ex alone out of respect for his feelings I don't ever want to make him feel disrespected or insecure but deep down it makes me sad I even suggested that my partner meet him to help ease his mind But he's not comfortable with that idea unless it happens naturally in a social setting So that's where I'm stuck.

28:53Anna Williamson:How can I balance this situation? How do I prioritize my relationship with someone I deeply love and don't want to hurt whilst also preserving a meaningful friendship that's existed for most of my life. Thanks for reading and for being a part of my healing journey. This is really tricky, isn't it? I think that actually your partner's not unwilling to meet him. He just doesn't want to make that feel forced. So is there something coming up, like a birthday or an event, where they can both be in the same room and have a chat? Could you even host a dinner party and invite them along? Or even like a casual Christmas drinks at the pub type vibe?

29:28I would definitely encourage them meeting because it's, you know, friendship, a friendship's a friendship, whatever, whether that's with male, female, you know, and I think that you do value that friendship and you don't want to want to lose the friendship. And I do understand your partner's feelings. And I just think he probably needs to see you together, get to know him to feel more reassured that actually it is platonic. you've probably offered up potentially too much information by saying that you rekindled as well I probably would have left that bit out but I think like what a couple of things that just

30:05Anna Williamson:flagged to me when you said this in a good way just it is what it is is time you've said you've been in a relationship for five months that's still very much you're still in that testing phase in that desire phase where we don't really know each other properly we don't know what you take you know what ticks so we're still feeling a bit insecure we're still figuring it out we're still trying to grow that trust and that confidence and that doesn't get built overnight and i think also uh what's playing into this is the unknown and to lou's point i i was going to suggest the same about i do think you actually do need to prioritize some form of meetup it might feel a bit awkward but kind of the situation is awkward so i think you also just have to accept and acknowledge it for what it is your ex is a very valuable friend of yours it's like the hugh grant liz hurley situation your new partner quite rightly is a bit like oh i'm not too sure about this you know everybody's a bit awkward about it um i would actually be quite transparent about the whole thing say to your ex who's now your friend look i'm in this new relationship he's feeling a bit awkward which i do respect um but i want you know is there a way that we can kind of try and neutralize this your new partner's thinking all the things that we all think when we don't know the facts exactly is he good looking what's he like what's it really like until he meets him i'm sure so many of those fears would be alleviated if they shook hands had a beer had a laugh and they all kind of chilled out i would actually really prioritize the meeting and give some time to allow this to the relationship to settle as well yeah it will come out uh we've got another message from chloe in next so a few years ago she says i went to thailand with a friend before i left this guy at work said you have to go see a ping pong show i remember going to see a ping pong show in thailand it was so stinky and it was loads of old ladies just kept falling out now i've never heard of this one uh i'm thinking sweet a bit of table tennis cultural exchange stop honey come on honey have you listened to luella long enough clearly not so we rock up we sit uh front row like idiots and straight away i realize ah this is not table tennis the first thing i see when i walk in two men on stage just oh oh just absolutely going at it no warm-up no warning just full throttle Olympic level cardio.

32:16Anna Williamson:I'm standing there with my backpack on. I'm giving the actions. So we're like, is this the opening act? Then the main show starts. This woman comes out and I swear to you, she starts pulling things out of herself like a magician. A string of phrases. A live budgie. A live budgie. At one point, I thought she was going to pull out my missing luggage. And then the ping pongs. She lines up, legs akimbo, and boom. fires one straight at my face, dead on. It smacked me straight on the cheek and it was wet. I didn't even have time to react. She's just sitting there at God's back. With her backpack on.

32:55Anna Williamson:Wet ping pong ball. Mountain warehouse fire list. The audience gasped. My mate nearly wet herself laughing and I just put my head on her lap in embarrassment, wondering if I was now part of the act. Her next act was popping balloons by firing needles out of there. I mean, this woman's got some pelvic floor. Hasn't she just? To be able to hold a needle, safe to say we left pretty swiftly as I didn't want to lose an eye as well as my dignity. So yeah, I went to Thailand looking for temples and beaches and instead I walked into live porn, a petting zoo, a DIY hard store and then got assaulted by the Serena Williams of vaginas.

33:32Anna Williamson:No need to keep me anonymous. My friends will know who this is. I'm Chloe from Essex. Let me remind you, not today because we haven't got time, if ever remember to tell you the story about when I accidentally went into a porn club in Jamaica with work colleagues. Make a note of that. With platonic, never met before work colleagues. To say we found the wrong establishment is an understatement. I need to tell this in full another day. Remember, if you want to get in touch, you can email us, Luanna, everythingluanna.com or you can drop us a WhatsApp on 07745 266 947.

34:10Anna Williamson:Okay, newsy bits. Scientists make embryos from human skin DNA for the first time. I'm still haunted by Netflix monster Ed Gein. If you're watching it, you'll know what I mean. Just give us a quick. I can't. It's just, oh, because it's like number one in Netflix at the moment. It's like another serial killer, necrophiliac. Real true or not. Yeah, true crime. You'll love it. I love it. You'll love it. It's like number one. I mentioned it at the school gates and everyone went, oh my God, I'm watching it. Have you seen it? No, it's on the watch list. And he like basically obsession with his mother.

34:41Anna Williamson:Where have I been? I've never heard of that. It's number one. Obsession with his mother. Yeah. And then like basically ends up having an obsession with like digging up dead bodies and then using their skin to like make furniture and masks and shit. Yeah, it's like true. Right. So US scientists have for the first time made early stage human embryos by manipulating DNA taken from people's skin cells and they fertilized it with sperm. This is crazy talk. The technique could overcome infertility, which is amazing, due to old age or disease by using almost any cell in the body as the starting point of life.

35:17So you don't need an egg, which means you don't need a female. Right. Which could even allow same-sex couples to have a genetically related child. So say if you're both men. You need a womb, though. Yeah, but also you couldn't have you and Ney because you need a sperm. Yeah. Whereas two men, they could take the skin from one guy, the sperm from another. Pop them in a womb. Pop them in a womb. But there's also other research going on. And I think they have done it where it's like three people's DNA. Yes. We did the story, I think. Yeah, yeah, yes. Which they're doing for medical purposes. but maybe you could like take the characteristic DNA out of the sperm and then put a female in there.

36:07It's wild, isn't it? I do wonder how much, like with regards to three people's DNA, how much we should mess with. Or the tampering. But anyway, this basically saying it would require significant refinement. So this could take a decade, which actually isn't that long before any fertility clinic could consider using it. But it is an impressive breakthrough. I could have that baby at 54 after all. So basically, you know, as we know it, we were taught sperm meets egg, weren't we? And then embryo, nine months later, baby's born. But a scientist says changing the rules and it can just start with skin cells.

36:46That's wild. So then what happens is they take the DNA, but you still need an egg, actually. They say that the genetic code is built outside of the body, but that then does get placed inside a donut egg.

37:01Anna Williamson:Which has been stripped. Yeah, stripped to its genetic instruction. So however, this egg is not ready to be fertilized by sperm as it already contains a full suite of chromosomes. My God, this is nuts. You inherit 23 of these bundles of DNA from each of your parents for a total of 46. I remember that in science. Yeah. Which the egg already has. So the next stage is to persuade the egg to discard half of its chromosomes in a process that the researchers have termed metomiosis. The word is a fusion of whatever. Mitosis and miosis, which is the way two cells divide. Yeah, and the study published in the Journal of Nature Communications showed that 82 funksue eggs were made.

37:36Anna Williamson:82! Damn, these were fertilised with sperm and some progressed onto the early stages of embryos developed. None were developed beyond the six-day stage. Well, that's just because they're experimenting. But sometimes when you have IVF, they'll grow the embryo for five days and then they'll do a five-day transfer. and actually when you get to five days and you transfer then as opposed to like a three-day transfer you it's more likely to take because it's been developed into a blastocyst that's it the old blastocyst wow this is wild isn't that so clever it's so clever very clever pioneer professor mitolipov says and we have to perfect it but eventually i think that's where the future will go because there are more and more patients that cannot have children which is our aging society isn't it because we want it all we want the career we want the life and then we want the children as we get older which actually will eventually be fine because we're probably going to start living till we're 130 well this is it well exactly actually but the vision is to help couples that cannot uh benefit from from ivf uh because they don't have the sperm or the eggs to use which is which is a huge issue this says it could help older women who no longer have viable legs men who don't produce enough sperm or obviously cancer treatment where people are infertile isn't that amazing really good you say the final thing here that door that opens the door i know we've said this but it's same-sex couples having children that are now genetically related to both partners i well i think that can only be a wonderful thing isn't the progression of like society it's like incredible it's it's crazy to think that like obviously it wouldn't be anything to do with like my generation but maybe like my grandchildren i think before this is like 10 years you're talking about your kids is mad so if you think like you could have a baby now and when that baby's 30 this could be well underway this could have been underway for 20 years yeah because i'm also curious to know like how important like how how would that feel for you if you could have a baby that was half of you and half of me it would be like everything yeah right yeah because that's one of the like deep sadnesses right i feel about it is that oh lost a light um is that yeah i can't we can't have a kid that's half and it's like when i see like my friends little babies and stuff and i'm like oh you can see in their faces that they're half one and half the other and you can be like oh that's so you and that's so them and then you think like i don't know what my kids gonna be like because they're going to have some of one of us, but then some of another person that we don't know.

40:15Anna Williamson:And I can imagine how important that must feel for people in your position and other same-sex couples. So this can only be a wonderful invention, actually. Although I do think it is sad, but there's then that whole nature-nature. Yeah, of course. So even if, say it was an A's egg and you carried it, you've then carried that baby for nine months. It's had your blood, your vitamins, your feelings, and there's such a lot to say for that like it will be part of you because actually the placenta so say if it was an A's egg in your womb it's your placenta, you've grown it those placenta cells stay with that baby so actually it will be you as well but I get what you mean it's a very good way of looking at it but if you do and I know a lot of couples do that one will do the egg and then the other will carry because actually you then fuel that baby and that takes with you for life but then I know But I know same-sex couples, guys, who have both produced a sperm sample for their surrogate and they don't know which one.

41:18Anna Williamson:They never get confirmation on who's... The only thing about that is if you do then, further down the line, have medical issues in the family, you do sort of need to know. But also as well, there are some kids who are just a spitting image of a parent. Do you know what I mean? It's so obvious, isn't it? Wow, interesting chat. Bex, what do you want to do about the light? We have got more lights in there. Do you need more? We're currently in darkness, Lufanians. We're not. That's a lie. Not really. Right, and the next story, Mystery Oda. This is our kind of story. Mystery Oda that has plagued the school for weeks was a teacher using a fart spray.

41:54Anna Williamson:Stop! This is what I'm talking about. We've talked about how much we love teachers, and we will continue to. A teaching assistant has appeared in court, brilliant, after using a spray so foul-smelling that students needed medical treatment, It's been reported. It's been in court. Of course it's happening in America. Alexander Lewis, a teaching assistant in a high school in South Carolina, used a spray he bought online that mimics the smell of feces. Court documents claim that Lewis used the spray repeatedly in a month period and it caused disruption to classes, impacted the school's air system, and sent students to the nurse with respiratory issues.

42:30Anna Williamson:I mean, that's bad. Oh, my God. His actions reportedly cost the school around£40 ,000 for multiple inspections and repairs to air conditioning system. The students and staff suffered headaches, nausea, dizziness due to the foul sense. And how was he found out, Lou? He was arrested. CCTV. He was caught walking through with an object in his hand, spraying something before slipping it in his pocket. He denied responsibility, saying he was spraying a lemon-scented hand sanitiser, with police finding that hand sanitiser when searching his car. Covered his tracks. But after the search, he was 32. This guy was arrested on charges of malicious injury to property.

43:09Exceeding 10 grand and disturbing schools. Well, isn't that wild? A parent says, my son's asthma has been triggered multiple times because of this. Why was he doing it? What a strange person. Maybe it was like the ultimate revenge.

43:23Anna Williamson:Maybe he was like triggered from his own school life or something. He just like wanted to be a naughty little school boy. That fart spray stinks. I can only imagine. Hilarious. I've been the victim of that. Twice. Might as well be your book. Exactly, twice. Paul C. Brunson ruined an entire wardrobe of clothing for me at Slebs Go Dating for spraying the whole thing with spray spray. Yeah, and my stylist was fuming. I like Paul and his... Yeah, he was literally dying with laughter. I walked into my dressing room. The git had left the building and I was like... All my clothes stunk to high heaven.

43:55Anna Williamson:My style was fuming. It's just so funny. Do you know why I love Paul? He is literally my other brother. and then he literally, not an ounce of remorse, he just found it even funnier. Did you have to wear the clothes? No, we just wrapped the series, but my stylist was furious when they all went back. Should send them all back. Let her stink and it's shit. I was like, Paul, you owe my name. People won't lend to you again. Actually, I might blame him. I'll be like, Anna Williamson stinks as shit. Don't lend to her stylist. Then I'm going to bill him personally. Right, it's time for It's the Widow of the Wee-Ka.

44:26Anna Williamson:First up, anonymous, so Cammie Sutra. There she is. Hey, Luanna. I'm Dima Gin. Love your pod and all that jizz. I have a story for you, and I need to know if it's normal or not for all those bike riders out there. I'm a big gym gal. I attend a CrossFit gym daily, and I run a lot. She is fit. That CrossFit's no mean thing. Hard core. However, I cannot ride a normal bike, and I only go on the gym's stationary bikes if it's part of a workout. Unfortunately, I've injured my ankle, and I'm out of action temporarily. The gym I attend has an amazing community and I didn't want to miss out. So my coach said I could sit on one of the bikes during a class.

45:04Anna Williamson:Today was my first time to do this and I did a slow 10k bike ride, or cash, whilst the rest of the class did the usual activities. Now whilst I was on said bike roughly 30 minutes in, I realised I felt extremely wet down there. I thought to myself, surely my period hasn't started, it's not due for another three weeks. I took myself to the toilet to check it out and it looked to be normal discharge. Now I've never had this much discharge in one go though So I shrugged it off and whilst there I had a wee However as I wiped my cooch with a loo roll And ran it across my clit I felt an amazing sensation Same feeling you get when you've just cum I did it a few times But two and two together and realised I'd orgasmed What on the bike or from wiping the Cooch I think it's the formula That's right Riding the bike has made me cum How does she not know Creamy cum The bike ride felt good, but I didn't feel the overwhelming feeling that you get when you orgasm.

45:59Anna Williamson:I went back to the bike and began riding again, but this time positioned myself so my clit was on the seat more and it felt really good. The slight movement of going side to side and the way it rubbed, clothes rubbed my clit felt amazing. Is this normal? Do long distance bike riders feel this? I sat on the seat the entire time, which I know isn't common for bike riders. Please give a boy star name so my gym buddies don't suspect it's me if they listen. Love you. Well, I don't really ride bikes. Well, when I can be asked, I like a spin class. People say this about horses and it's not true. No, I've never had on a horse.

46:30Anna Williamson:But, well, no, not on my spin class, but then you spend so much of it up. Oh, yeah, you do. So I wouldn't say I've sat there and rubbed me. No, no, no. Bex? But then it might be different angles. Different angles. Different positioning. Well, good for you. You'll be on that bike more. I think it's great. What an incentive for the gym. Yeah. There it is. True. We've got a message in from Paige. She says, hello gang, I'd like to nominate my boyfriend for Weirder of the Week. He hates any type of body cream, hand cream. He dislikes the texture of them that much. Got it all here. That when he has dry, cracked hands, he would rather...

47:05Ugh. Ugh. He would rather lick his own hands and rub them together to create his own... Oh, that's awful. The smell of like breathy hands. To stop the dryness. Highness, I do offer him some of my lovely hand cream, which he refuses. Please tell me this is strange. I can pass the message on.

47:24Anna Williamson:Yes, it's disgusting. It's strange. It's horrible. It's disgusting. Page from Lancashire. Get some nice anti-back or something. I don't know, anything. Anything, darling. Or just wash your hands. Oh, no. We actually now have a widow of the week. Well, let's do this properly. We joked, but it's come full circle. We've got a widow of the week. Anon, so Lusanus. Lusanus. Widow of the Week says, Luanimo, very shouty. Imogen, do your best porn star name and keep it anon. It's not really anon, it's you, Lu. My anus. I found you guys after desperately seeking distractions from real life and the new silence that had become my home around eight months after being widowed at 28.

48:13Oh, so young, I'm so sorry. Oh, ditto.

48:16Anna Williamson:I found you and I felt less alone. I laughed and I began finding my own unhinged and witty self again. First few times I listened, I was sure, like other Lufanians, that that final segment was for Widow of the Week. I thought, blimey, I really have found my people. Before hearing all of the mental things that people get up to and realising you were all just weirdos. anyway I've decided to nominate myself as Widow of the Week because I after years of heartache and pain I just got engaged to my new happily ever after to any young or old widows out there maybe just maybe you'll find something you were never looking for don't give up love you guys loads of very big fans that's such a nice message can I honestly say as well I think out of the hundreds of thousands of podcasts globally I can bet your life there is no other segment that has a widow of the week.

49:06Anna Williamson:And I couldn't be prouder. I couldn't be prouder. I'm proud. Good for you. Well done, Babs. Right, well, that's a very melancholy, beautiful moment to a ranty one. Do you know what? I'm not going to rant about what I was going to rant about last week. Are you feeling serendipitous? Well, no, I'm still going to rant. So, my rant, ladybirds. My house has become infested with ladybirds and I've seen it's not just me. No, my house. Is it your house? New or old? Both, actually. The old one, the granny pads, had a wasp thing, and now it's ladybirds. It is so bad. I saw Joe Riley was suffering with this as well on Instagram.

49:44These fucking ladybugs, they're coming in. It is horrific. I took some videos. I've been having to smoke bomb my house, which then makes the house fucking stink. It's disgusting. And apparently, I shouldn't feel bad about killing them because they're not native ladybirds. They are flying in, and then they're eating our native ones, apparently. so I've been smoke bombing the shit out of them. Well, in rental.

50:07Anna Williamson:And then they all drop and die. Yeah, and die. Well, I had a situation. They're outside in the Chappelle, the rental. They're all over the patio area. At least they're not coming in. Well, true, but it was like, this is rent. Because I can't replace my windows here because we're listed. So there's like gaps in the 17th century house, bloody windows. I've had to buy so many essential oils. I've been soaking. White tacking them round. I've been soaking cotton wool in essential oils and then stuffing the gaps. Yeah. It's so disgusting. I could hear them all the other night when I was in bed. And then you wake up, there's hundreds of them.

50:40Anna Williamson:Wait, I'll get you some footage. This also, Lufanians, before we started, became the debate. And someone come to my rescue here. Maybe it's my age. I went, I can smell all the joss sticks in your house. And they've all gone, what is a joss stick? They went, it's an incense stick. Please, anybody else call it a joss stick. When I was in late 80s, early 90s. Where do you get joss stick from? Well, any sort of, I don't know. Look, look at this video. Oh, this is Dixie talking. Look. Those are the ladybirds. That's a lot of ladybirds, Lou. That's a lot of ladybirds. Oh, no, that's a lot. It's so bad.

51:10Dixie's room is the worst. Look, look. That's a lot. We'll put this up. It's so bad. They're everywhere. They're everywhere. It's horrific. Get your justice back. Look at that ceiling. Yeah, that's bad.

51:22Anna Williamson:That's ranking. So that's my rant. Ladybirds, go fuck yourselves. You may be pretty, but we don't want you. They're not pretty either. They're the harlequin ones. Yes, yes. They're evil. it's around our area isn't there a monster or a scary person called Harlequin yes in Marvel maybe that's what they're named after Margot Robbie oh it is black and red yes it is Harlequin is anyway that's it for this week's Luana the podcast don't worry we will be here every Monday but of course you don't have to wait until then because on Thursday we do have more Luana and it's totally extra Luana which means it's extra you for that episode and this episode we do need you you can send your emails in Luana at everythingluana.com We have a WhatsApp number to send emoji in, a voice note, a message, whatever you want to share.

52:09Anna Williamson:Save this number by the way. Yes, are you ready? It's 077 45266 947. We would love you to follow our podcast guys. It's just a little tick you need to press at the top of your screen now. Same with our YouTube channel. Please go and watch us there. All the other guff with reviews we would be very grateful and it really does help us heat the podders. Hopefully amazing as it is keep the pot alive see you next week bye for now