Introducing: Live And Let Dyers

0:02This is a Global Player original podcast. Hey guys, Happy New Year. Now listen, just a quick note to say, we hope you're all enjoying that wonderful time off with the family and all of our festive Luana reps. But if you love our podcast and are looking for something extra to listen to before we're properly back on Monday, then you need to check out Live and Let Dyer's. It's Danny and Danny Dyer's podcast where they have the real family conversations you'd all want to listen into. And in this episode, Danny's wife and Danny's mom, Joanne, joins the podcast for the very first time. They're talking all things marriage.

0:41Now it's honest, emotional, unfiltered, and honestly, we think you're going to love it. So enjoy and don't worry. We'll be back with you with brand new 2026 Luanna Epps from Monday next week. It says snappy something on it, snappy snaps A little can with darling Nice, wouldn't it? Not cheap It won't be a mug, will it? It'll not be a mug

1:16Juanita I've just met a girl Called Juanita I haven't just met her, ladies and gentlemen I met her in 1988 but we won't go into that yet I'm sure we've got plenty of time what I will say is this this is a podcast that could go two ways this is a real peak behind the curtains of a middle aged couple grandparents been together since they were young been together since I even before I started puberty and we've never done this before no you know you're quite a private person although you have sort of rolled yourself into the podcast helped us out uh danny's busy so now we've got two people sitting at the sort of resent doing it all right but we do it for the love of our child don't we baby yeah welcome to live and let dies but this is the raw fucking unadulted right word unadulterated this is the real deal this is so again i don't know how this is going to go but um hopefully we're in love this morning i was going to say that you're being quite nice to me this week well i'd just like to sort of you know let the viewers know where we're at they're listening so i know that they're you know the reason we're still doing this is because there are people out there that are clucking you know like almost like heroin addicts to hear our voices once a week and here we are.

2:43So why not? Monday. Monday. We had a fucking mental day. It's been a busy weekend, hasn't it? Yeah. Do you want to explain where we went Saturday? Because that was a random one. Although I don't really like giving them a shout out because they're sort of rivals of ours. They're not our rivals, are they? The way they are. So we went to see Claire and James Buckley. The Buckleys. No, and then we went to watch the ice hockey team that they sponsor called the Chieftains. Oh, yeah. So now we're like, come on, Chiefs. The Chelmsford Chieftains, right? Chieftains. So, yeah, they live in Chelmsford. I won't give you the address.

3:28They're fucking driving them mad. But basically, we love them dearly. They're old friends of ours. They're an odd little couple. I suppose we're all odd in our own ways. Anyway, they've got a little leisure centre on a local ice hockey team made a corner for them. They don't, and I'm sure they're happy with us saying this, they don't like going out a lot, but they found a little thing around the corner which they're all into. And I think it's Jude, isn't it, that plays. Yeah. It's coming up in the ranks. Anyway, so their local team is the Chelmsford Chiefs. Give them a shout out. Yeah. Because it was an amazing experience for me.

4:00And so they've sponsored this team. Yeah. And they invited us up in their box. I say box, it was more of a... No, it was brilliant money. Sort of a gully. No, it was so good. It was so good. It was interesting. Yeah. Because I think I was a bit reluctant. Usually we go around and we have a nice ruby and we have a few beers. But this time they took us out, which was weird. Yeah. And we went and watched this game. There was a little tear up in there. Now, I know about hockey a little bit because back in the day, for any of you geeks out there, I used to play a mega drive game called NHL hockey and I used to love it.

4:35Me and my mates used to play it. so I know a little bit about the rules and everything never ever watched a live game before but got a lot of respect for it and very quick a real sport actually and yeah when they do have a tear up these archie players they all make a circle and get rid of their beef so they took their helmets off and their gloves and had a lovely little tear up very Christmassy I actually cannot believe that you're meant to have a fight during our ice hockey match. It's a well-known thing, by the way. No, I didn't know that. So when I messaged Tolo, give him another little shout-out.

5:15A shout-out to Tolo, which is Joe's brother. I think everyone knows now who he is. Some people, you know. Yeah, but if you listen to my podcast, you do. Well, some people are probably so excited about this they might be listening for the first time. Yeah. Ah, well, then don't get lulled into... This is going to be every week. It's quite fake. Maybe we could fuck our kid. Yeah, shall we? She'd be fuming, dang it. I'm afraid she's been the one consistent part of this. Yeah. But she is busy. Shout out to peacocks. Yeah, that's what she's doing today, her peacock range. She's peacocked up. But anyway, Tolo, before you keep jumping, he messaged me and he said, did you enjoy the fight at the ice hockey?

6:01and I could not believe that there is always a fight at ice hockey. I wanted more tear-ups, to be honest. I couldn't believe it. I wanted more tear-ups. I thought there was only one out of the... They won 6-1, the Chiefs. Yeah. Smashed Dynamo, some team out of Gillingham. Oh, weirdly. Yeah. Which are those from? Yeah. Do you want to give everyone his address? Yeah, he lives near Medway. No, and then came home quite late. Now, I had a prawn vindaloo. Yeah. But usually I have a king prawn vindaloo. Now, their local Ruby didn't have king prawn. It had the little jackal prawns. Yeah. At three o 'clock in the morning.

6:43And if you listen to this at lunchtime, you might want to cover your ears. Because by three in the morning, I was blowing bubbles out of my ass. I don't know what happened. You know what's awful? waking up and you need a pony. It's very rare that. You still usually get your bowel movements out of the way during the day, I find. But to be woke up at three bouts, and I thought, oh my goodness, ain't right. And I just got to my car seat, and I was sitting on there for about five minutes, just sort of pissing out of my arse. And did you use your bidet then? Yes, I do have a bidet. Yeah, everyone knows that.

7:18Yeah, and I was thinking of using it. Well, you didn't. Well, I was trying to have a shite with my eyes half closed, because you know when you're tired. It's disgusting. Well, listen, this is why people turn in, Don. Do you know what I mean? Not necessarily for this bit, but I'm just being honest and declaring that an awful night's sleep for me. Oh. You know, just worried. Anyway, I've not had a pony since. Now, that was two days ago. So I think it's a mystery to me how it's going to be. I am drinking, shout out to kombucha. Again, I'm shouting you out because, again, you're not sending us nothing.

7:52But it's got good gut health and loads of live culture, so I'm hoping it's going to sort the bollocks out. It might not be the curry. It might just be, I don't know, just the excitement of Christmas. Probably. Anyone's talking to Christmas? Anyone, any of you weirdos that like watching, which is a ball like the people that watch because it means you've got to get dressed. We've got Juana's Christmas tree, which is a beautiful tree, baby. Look at that. She's not known for being creative either, are you? No, I'm not. When you do your tree, I mean do you want to talk us through it or so basically my it is my tree it's the kind of no it's my tree because they're all my baubles from from years and years and years ago like I bought that one when Danny won Love Island because there was a scene when she was in Love Island and she had to do like a sexy scene and Dani doesn't really like to be sexy so she went on and done a little couple of minutes a lap dance is what she did as a cheerleader and we were in America so I saw that and it reminded me of Dani so how many years ago was that?

9:137? 2018 so basically what happened was she went into Love Island we'd already booked the fucking holiday because I didn't know. I remember you knew this. Yeah. I was the last one to know. Of course I did. I'd already booked to go to Florida. And then, of course, she went, oh, by the way, I'm going to Love Island. Yeah. And then, obviously, did you think she was going to go out early? Because there was a world where she could have come out of Love Island, got voted out, and then come on the Florida holiday. Yeah. But, of course, she won the fucking thing. So then we had to do a Zoom. Yeah. So they was going to fly us from Florida to go into the villa.

9:50But we was like, fuck that. yeah we've done the Zermon and of course your mum and bruv went in there yeah they did became half boat but yeah you've got loads of shit on this tree from over the years so no we've just bought that and latest purchase because they're Sonny's favourite crisp from Spain oh yeah those are the truffle ones yes there's a lardy dal which means cigar which is dedicated to me isn't it yeah when I'm when I'm dead and long gone, I'm sure that... And yesterday, the babies... Oh, yes. They kept arguing over... Yeah, they're fighting over that. This little princess. Yeah, let's go into yesterday.

10:32Yesterday, yeah. Because I had a moment yesterday, me and you were sort of looking at each other. And thinking divorce. Well, not yesterday, weirdly. Oh. You know. That's every other hour. But we had a moment yesterday. It's been a while because I've not been about, and obviously Danny's busy and everyone's busy, but we've not had everyone over. Every Sunday we'd have everyone over here. Yeah. Chaos. We haven't had it in a few months. So anyway, she came over with her babies and that. I've done a roast and it won't go into the turkey side of things. It's a little bit pink. Well, but you, this is the thing.

11:05Danny came in and I'm not eating that turkey. It's raw. And it wasn't fucking raw. The ends weren't. Oh, it was crap. Anyway, she fucking went, oh, no, you're going to kill the family. She was a weird energy from that, actually. anyway she come in I rustled up a nice rose but anyway and as the day goes on this gaff because we had Santy here we had the Terribles we had Artie we had Debs the dog and it's not a good dynamic Artie won Santy up Santy won the dog up twins fight so they was kicking off over this because there's only one this is the mistake you've made yeah but don't forget that two of them they both had peak two-two that was bought before the babies were born so I'm not gonna I didn't think I was going to have twins, did I?

11:50No. But they were both obsessed with that. But there was a moment when I was just standing there and sort of looking at all the chaos, the tornado around us. And if me and you, if you hadn't of, trying to think, when you first looked across the, I don't know, the playground and trying to think, I've always got an image of you in your, sorry, that's the electrician out there who's just bearing the Christmas lights so he's fucking about out there a little bit. Nice fella. But if you hadn't looked across at me, I've always got an image of you and your leotard sort of, you was the best dancer in the school.

12:20Yeah. Just piping at me and acknowledging me after three years of school because you blanked me because I was the trampy kid in school. I always have it right. Yeah. But you were psychic. Yeah. And you knew. No, actually, when I looked at you, I think everyone knows this because you've spoke about it a lot. You wrote about me in all your autobiographies. Yes. when I moved on to you it's because I wanted to have a normal boyfriend right okay and I just thought you'll do you will do that's it this is getting nice and romantic so the story we have to try and make is that you piped at me I piped at you I'd been piping at you for a while with me binoculars yeah anyway you acknowledged me and then we sort of got together and then we sort of fell in love.

13:19Yeah. And, you know, you sort of cut to sort of 30 years later. There's all these human beings running around because of us. It's mad. You know, Sonny, Artie and Dan, obviously, products of us and then the grandkids. It's mad, isn't it? Yeah. That generational thing, you know, if you hadn't have looked across at me, you'd have looked at someone else, couldn't you? I think he was for a bit. Yeah. You go, wow, that's incredible, isn't it? Yeah, but I did need that, hey, didn't I? Well, I don't need it now, but I wanted to be, I wanted to go to drama school. And I thought, wow, he's a good actor.

14:03I'd just been dumped by my boyfriend then. You want to give him a shout out? No, I'm not shouting him out. one day I'll give him a shout out well he was we won't say his name but he did used to he was a football player he did play for England under 16s I think yeah that's it I remember watching him sort of fuming about it so you're like a man with talent yeah but I didn't think that Danny had that many talents no so I was a little bit heartbroken You was heartbroken. I was a rebound. You was a rebound. Good. Not a bad rebound. And then I just said, I just want a little normal boyfriend. That is it.

14:51I don't want anyone who's going to cause me any ag. And then we did our GCSE drama together. And I was like, wow, he will get me the A. You got me a B. Because you've done my heart. Because that was so good. and what did you do in GCSE Drama together? We did Yom Kippur. That's short. We did about the Yom Kippur. Is it Yom Kippur? Yeah. What? Yeah. This is an incredible thing. What do you mean? For someone that loses their car keys every hour. Yeah, but I know all of that. What we did as a showpiece in 1992. I'm thinking this was when did we leave school? at 93 we left school so that would have been at the end wow no we did it in October you wasn't that serious about acting you was a very very good dancer I was actually it still is by the way no I was serious about acting thank you very much so are you saying that I've stole your career no but I do think that if I hadn't got pregnant with Danny I would have been I've had like Oscars everywhere well I should say he's not jumped to that an Academy Award yeah inside so but because I'm more intelligent than Danny I let him well again this is I let him have his career yeah because by then he'd done the walled prime suspect he'd done the bill twice you've done the bill yeah he'd done speakeasy speakeasy wow yeah you don't know speakeasy was that was an acting that was my first time on telly yeah and uh he's wearing my granddad got to watch that so i remember this and it was basically emma forbes would be sitting there with young with underprivileged kids talking about single so it was about single parent fat It was heavy shit, by the way.

17:04It was one. It was like a Saturday morning show. And I was on there with me long, greasy curtains, talking about how me dad fucked off when I was nine. Yeah. Which is something I've been quite vocal about. And that would fuck me nut up. My granddad got to see that. But then when I got prime suspect, he died before that came on. So he didn't see me as an actor. So me old granddad, Jack, rest in peace, my old son, he probably thought I was just going to be on telly as a kid talking about me dad fucking off, unfortunately. Yeah. You know. No, but then you did another chat programme because my teachers by then was like, please do not stay with Danny.

17:41He's a bad influence. Right, again. You need to move away from the bad boy. No, all girls love a bad boy. Just have it right. Yeah, but you weren't a bad boy. That's what I... Calling me a bad boy. No, but I'm just saying, like, by then he was smoking. He was... I was doing all his own work. I was lending in my clothes I was babysitting Now this isn't dresses by the way This is We Champion Champion tracksuits She had every colour I used to I used to walk past the shop There's a little skint boat Looking in the window Drawling No I lent you my Feeley trainers Yeah My boots No I don't think you're So shoot No we can't Yeah because when we first Started going out with each other I was a lot bigger than Danny.

18:31And then I hit pubic. Yeah. And I shot up. Then I done. Yeah. Like, I was literally that much taller than Danny. No. Yeah, I was. I used to have to bend. Like, I used to say, come on, get on your tiptoes. I literally had to look down to kiss you. I swear to God. It was the same height, which means I was five foot. But then I was 13. We weren't the same height. It's not looking good for you, though. I was taller than you. And I'm a deady little man. A little boy. Yeah. But I soon shut up. And that's why children, any children listening, do eat your greens and your Brussels, because otherwise you won't grow.

19:12And I know that there's anything wrong with short men, but you want a bit of height about it, if you can. The average height, I believe, is like 5 '9", which is what tollo is. And I'm about 5 '11 and 3 quarters. Yeah. So near enough six foot. And how I grow. I grew, didn't I, darling? I grew. Some parts of your body grew. Well, again, it's... I did allude, listeners, to this going sort of one way or the other. And it seems like it's going into the other. I'm only joking. I know, darling, because we both know. Yeah. Christmas is coming. We're both not feeling Christmas. No. No one is in our family this year for some reason.

19:58I've got a theory, is that the world's fucked more than ever, more than it's ever been. For many, many different reasons. There's a lot of people in power that are twats, people can't afford shit. Racism's gone through the roof, homophobia. We're living in a world where we've regressed as human beings. But hey, everybody, it's Christmas. I think this is the first time you go, well, hold on a minute. So we switch all that shit off, do we, for fucking two weeks and go, yeah, let's put a tree up. Everything's sweet. I think everyone's feeling it. I don't know anyone that's Christmassy. Do you feel Christmassy?

20:35I think it feels like it's come round way too soon again. It's weird, isn't it? Think about it. It happens every year, eh? Yeah. Kitty's on about, should be every two years. Two years, every two years. Yeah, that's bizarre. What did you do in the year off? Excited for it. What did you do in the year off? Just fuck all. Just have a December that... Yeah, yeah, maybe a bit of a... sort of bank holiday, maybe a bit of a party situation, I don't know. Well, same bollocks, isn't it really? If anything, just have it low key. Low key, right. But I do feel that there is that in the air at the moment. We're trying to get into the Christmas spirit.

21:07I think once your kids have grown up, which are, you know, Artie's 12, but, you know, that excitement of Christmas Eve, of me and you a little bit pissed, sort of waiting for, get the kids to bed, and then creeping around and getting their presents and laying them out, as if, as if Father Christmas has left them. they're gone them days but I liked it I think we're getting old but I used to like Christmas when we used to go to Berwick Road Working Man's Club yes we did in Custom House yeah it's a Custom House Newham yes well X was there the other week where it was in Streeties pub I heard about this yeah come on X diddy little pub innit what the fuck was you doing over there well it's quite quite a lot of nightclubs all the good nightclubs are in Custom House yeah Yeah.

21:53Yeah. Fucking weren't when we were kids. Yeah. So the thing with you is, my little darling, you talk a lot about customers, Canning Town, the East End. Well, I am from there, darling. No, I know, but when I say, come on, let's go down and we'll go to the tapas restaurant or we'll go to the Thai restaurant, you just look at me like I've lost the plot. But when have you called this on? I always say, come on, let's go down. Let's go and have some tapas. When am I about? Well, when you come home on a Friday night, Saturday, and then I go and see me dad. What I'm saying is, the world is our oyster.

22:33Now, the last place you'd want tapas is fucking cussing ass. It's got... No, but it's got a big posh right. No, it is. How nice is... You backed me up, eggs. How nice are the restaurants on the waterfront? Yeah. I didn't see anything like that. He was in Streeties. Well, I'm not doing this anyway. He's actually in Canning Town. He's in Custom House. Well, you didn't see the yacht? No, because you've got to go to the XL side, didn't you? No. Right, so there's a yacht in Custom House. There is a yacht. A yacht. A yacht. Well, it's a yacht. It's like a hotel. On a fucking great big boat. It's beautiful.

23:07It's mental that it's there. Yeah. You know? It's like£25 a cocktail. That's... Hence why it's empty. Right. No, some people go there who have no idea what Custom House is. you don't really need to venture into customers if you're going to go to that because that's the nice part by the way yeah that is beautiful so it's like the water side is nice yeah and then the yeah once you get back with those flats but it's the same as sort of Westfields in Stratford where they you know built this big shopping centre but then at the same time you know you cross the road and it's still Crackhead City do you know what I mean like it's the same with customers yeah but that's everywhere anyway even in Knightsbridge there's Crackhead City don't be well yeah but of course there is but I don't know they live there Anyway, I will take you to the tapas restaurant.

23:51We do need to have a bit of time, me and you. Yeah, because we haven't had any time really, have we? No, because everyone drives us fucking mad. It's about being parents and grandparents. But what we've done, and Danny will find out when she listens to this, he takes the girls out every year for their Christmas dinner and he just lavishes them with gifts and I'm always left out. Shout out to Selfridges again, just for voucher reasons. Danny's got Jared Sonny's got a little boyfriend so now I've said we haven't met him yet no very very early you can take me out this year for a dinner so she's basically rolled my daughters out for yeah they've got their boyfriends now mummy and daddy day out yeah I'll take you out and where will you go Selfridges Selfridges yeah we'll have a nice bit of bit of lunch what we do yeah in Althos get you some trophies.

24:47A little bit, get me some strides, yeah. Yeah, because he's walking about in trousers now. I've got a pair of Gucci's on today. Good look at those. But they were Jarrods. Well, they was Jarrods, yes, but he loaned them to me. The thing is, I've never washed them. Which is, no, that's just two men, straight men, just sharing tracksuit bottoms, which is not an issue for me. No, it ain't for me. No, Jared said to me, no, I love them tracky bottoms. Right. He did say, didn't he? Oh, I've got some bits here for Big Dan. Right, exactly. So he treated me. Yeah. But no, we need to get you some trousers.

25:31No, but that's not the point. The point is, do I elbow my daughter? Yeah, actually, just for one year. Me and you go out and... Get drunk. Yeah, get a little bit squiffy. Just get drunk. We'll get triple M, right? And then I'll buy you some gifts because... No, I'm all right, thanks. Right, because you don't want nothing. No, I'll get a lip gloss, won't I? Well, you might get one in your advent, so I wouldn't shoot you. Yeah, I might do. You will get a lip gloss in there, I'm sure you will. No, but you know what it is with me? I know I'm a little bit fussy and he will just buy whatever is the most expensive or...

26:08Terrible man. No, I'm a terrible man, but you can't buy my love. Clearly not. You cannot. Sure. You cannot. You fell in love with a diddy little 13-year-old and custom house. Yeah. Yeah, we know he has Randy's nuts. Yeah. I think you're quite materialistic when you want to be, to be honest. We're both snobs now, I've told you that. We are a little bit. We've become Cockney slobs. Slobs, snobs, sorry. I'm a snob, you're a slob Okay, right, yeah, I'll wear that Well, speaking of whether you're a snob should we have a little look at the gift that I bought? Yeah Oh, should we have a pipe? Yeah Okay See, I do like Oh, fuck me, it is and all that He's a fucking muggler So this was Dana's idea that she thought this Oh, right, so ladies and gentlemen See, this is what I like Let's have a pipe then that is so cute this was Dana's idea shout out to that's Dana's agent I've overdone it now this isn't a quote from me well no but on there's two sides oh I see you love that is so cute is Danny going to get one of these yeah don't worry oh I love that now I was hoping it was going to be one of those sort of really expensive Polaroid cameras right you know the ones on me yeah yeah we've got one of them no no but you know Listen, I thank you so much to Global.

27:37Thank you so much. This will go with our other 500 mugs that we've got in the... Well, you drink out of this one? Yeah, I will. You are tricky red jaw mugs, aren't you? Yeah. Yeah. She's a fucker to make a cup of tea for. Yeah. No, I like my Pep Guardiola mug. Okay. That tells me how much he loves me. But no, I like this there because obviously this is my... And it's got your catchphrase, I've ever done it, and Big Dan's catchphrase, you love. You're loved, which we will do at the end. Yeah. OK, that's very kind. That is so cute. Trying to manipulate us into doing more episodes of the podcast, but it seems to be working.

28:13So congratulations. No, that's very kind. No, that's beautiful, yeah.

28:24What was we saying? We was talking about... I don't know, you were digging me out about something. No, I wasn't digging you out. You were so sensitive. We're going to go to Selfridges and have a little bit of a mooch about it. Yeah. So maybe we do need to make time for each other. Shout out to the couples out there that don't make time for each other. You know, get a bit lost with all the other bollocks because it's important. You know, look, we've been together for fucking mental, isn't it? It's a miracle. And it's up and down. And we're going for a bit of a down. In this moment we're going down, but then we'll be up again, won't we?

28:58Yeah. Wow.

29:05I feel that it is important that we should go out. You're right. But, you know, it's nice to have an annual thing with your daughters. No, I get that. I get that. Do you know what I mean? You and your old man, he used to take you, didn't he, to... No, we'd do the same once a year. We'd go to London, he'd buy me a ring or whatever. Yeah, your old man, yeah. Yeah, not you. No, not me, no. Yeah, then we'd go and have some Spanish food and get my mum's Christmas present, so. Although he did, when you were kids, he used to take you to McDonald's. On a Wednesday, yeah. He was allowed a Big Mac. This was something that was so out of my reach as a kid.