'I've Never Been Drier' - Pettiest reasons YOU dumped someone!

0:02This is a global production. Be warned, it's Luana and this podcast contains honest, upfront opinions, rants, bunts and general explicit content. But, you know, you love it.

0:13Anna Williamson:Petty reasons why you guys have legit dumped somebody.

0:20You're my wonder world.

0:23Anna Williamson:Fuck off, you're dumped. Oh, ouch. Next one. No!

0:36Anna Williamson:Good morning! It is over the hump of the week. It is Thursday. It is Luanna Totally Extra. How are you guys? We're humping into the end of the week. The weekend is in sight. Guys, we are so excited. Obviously, welcome to Luanna Totally Extra. We are very excited because we are off to Celine Dion. My heart will go wild. Actually, it's the one song I hate of hers. Do you hate that? I have like a violent reaction to that song. It did get played to death, let's be honest. I honestly, and I remember being with my little friend Louise and she used to play it on the piano and I'd belt it out. And I fucking hate that song.

1:11Do you not even like this bit? No. When I'm in the gym and that comes on, I'm like, oh, skip. But I am currently, as this episode goes out, flying back to England. To pick us up. To pick you bitches up. What's your favourite Celine song? oh can I play it oh no I can't

1:31Anna Williamson:sing it wait because I need to remember I really like this song I'm falling into you falling into you wait mine is I've got to remember the what's yours in mine is back to mine back to me now and I always forget the call the man in the oh yeah Da da Oh Da da Oh it's a belter Da da da da da da Da da da Oh wow What are you wearing? And this is why we Do you think she's going to do the whole concert en francaise though? Yes No No She's not We've got the list Do you want to hear the list? I thought it was French It's not all French There's always a French song in there I just need to head to our WhatsApp chat group Which is called Refugee Era Wow We should probably change that to like Celine Dion bitches Yeah I'm Alive is the first song I'm alive when you call me when you no it's a different one can I just say then that's the way it is that's the way and then a French song and then the power of love that's my favourite one a delta whispers in the morning can I just say slight Debbie down here all the lovers this is so this is why we're going to sing Dion because we can't sing I was really worried we didn't even touch on this last week bless old Dolly Parton who's left us I was so worried that Celine you know we've got to look after her we've got to look after her Michael Jackson don't even because there's still time for her to die we've got to look after her we are the opening night can I just say I know we are and I'm so excited I'm so excited I cannot tell you how excited I am we can do you want to hear our itinerary yes okay quick fire right go Eurostar first thing Friday morning go can't remember where I book for lunch.

3:25Lunch. Right. Crazy horse show. Lovely. Going to a really cool restaurant. You need to dress up. Do not bring that fucking handbag with you. I've got a new one for you. Lovely. I'm going to bring the brown bag. The next day, 2pm, lunch at a really cool place, which is very sceny, at 2pm, so we can have some drinky poos. Head back to our hotel, get ready for Celine. Bish bash bomb. What time Celine? Heading like 6, 6.30, I think. So we'll have like a three hour lunch, I reckon. Nice. Or like, maybe I should make lunch one. Anyway, Anyway, bish bash wash. Do Celine. Bish bash. Breakfast the next day.

3:57Shopping. Get back on the Eurostar. Amazing. No, Saturday is shopping, then late lunch. Got it. Friday is also shopping and lunch. Drinking. Just drinking. I need to book somewhere Friday for lunch. I'll get my PA to do it. Hi, Andrew.

4:15Andrew. I love it.

4:17Anna Williamson:Well, listen, this is, of course, your extra episode. Not just our admin on the pod for Celine Dion. but guys please do make sure you're following us on your podcast platform right now please top right hand corner it's really important to us and we'd be very grateful and if you're not already subscribing on YouTube hello YouTubers hello YouTubers how are you top of the morning to you I hope you've subscribed hi right let's kick off hi guys I just wanted to put forward a potential anxiety of the week oh you know me well Since the solar eclipse, I have been really stressing over the fact that I cannot look directly at the sun.

5:00Anna Williamson:Oh, no, you can't. I'm currently walking my dog on a beautiful day, and the sun's glaring down at me. And I'm thinking, how weird is it that you just go about your day, and this thing is, like, providing us light, and you can't look at it? it's like really throwing me off I'm kind of feeling like birdcagey vibes anyone else? I think you just went down a sun rabbit hole it's quite normal to not be able to look at sun babes right Imo's not so new try something fun time there she goes I'm ready yes I'm getting out my icebox again oh it's the icebox of dreams very hot in here it's very warm in here well would you like a beverageino.

5:48Anna Williamson:Not another beverage. Another beverage. My mate Claire's been back on to me. Claire! Claire from you? Claire, well, she's not actually from you. She's from you's communication to PR people. But Claire, love you. Claire's got a hotline into him, oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Obsessed with you. And she also looks after a little company called Whitebox who do cocky teas. Oh, no, I'm going to get pissed again. Everyone, that episode went down very well, by the way. Would you fancy either a spicy Marg, a Cosmo, I've got a freezer martini, I've got a normal Marg, a raspberry clover club, a daiquiri, a negroni.

6:34You like a negroni.

6:35Anna Williamson:Oh, I know that brand. I've had that little miniature negroni before. They're delicious. Right, can I, what was that, what was it called? A freezer what? Freezer. Can I see the package? You can. It was this one, freezer martini. And then something else you said about a daisy clover or something. A raspberry clover club. Yeah. What is that? What is that? Look at that. I'm actually trying something different because I do like my Cosmos, my Negronis, my margaritas. I could have sworn I also put... You have to store it in a freezer. And then it's delicious. How to serve. Store in freezer. You've got to freeze this at 4 to 24 hours.

7:09Well, there you go.

7:10Anna Williamson:That's the freezer one. I haven't really frozen that one. I could have sworn I put the... I think they do a pineapple-y mark. I could have sworn I put that in here, but Claire didn't. Naomi's taken it. These are great little size. They are tiny, weeny, little cute size. I love the cute size. 20.5%. They pack a punch. And we're going to have a little sup. So I've got the raspberry clover cup. Oh, it's actually really good. It's not as strong as I thought it would taste, which is dangerous. Oh, that's nice. I'm doing the normal mug and it's delish. Oh, that's lovely. Raspberry clover club. There you go.

7:48Anna Williamson:Woo! Packs a punch. This packs a punch. That is absolutely delicious. I would love a crate of these sent to my house, please. Yeah, could you send some my way? I'll get on to Claire. Actually, Claire, would you mind? Claire, would you mind sending these? Oh, it's not going to be in time for Paris. Paris is tomorrow. Oh, yeah, we're not going to have time. Yeah, but in the space-time continuum, I could message her today and they could technically be here by then. Yes, please. We need these on the train. I would adore a crate of these. We need these on the train. Yeah, we actually do. So, yeah, that was my little try something fun.

8:19Can I just say, it's like 2.30 now, p.m., and we haven't eaten today, and I'm now drinking a 20.5 % drink, and I'm going to be absolutely fucking smashed.

8:30Anna Williamson:Can I just say, this is absolutely delicious. I love Imo's fun thing of the week, particularly when it involves this. Claire, she has got some great clients. Has she got any more? Maybe. Also, can I just say, if you're listening... You're not that little anyone to take home. And can I just say, if you're listening to this, it doesn't have to be food or drink. It could be an activity. It could. It could be like... Beauty product. Beauty product, candle making, crafting. I've got a couple of ideas up my sleeve, but we haven't been together, so... We go together like... Like karaoke. Exactly. Karaoke.

9:04I fucking love karaoke. What do you think about karaoke for my 40th, a little segment for my big birthday? What, at the party? Now that's what I call Louisa, yeah. Oh, for sure. Do you think I should have a separate room, like a karaoke booth? Do you want to siphon people off, though? No. That could be the after party.

9:20Anna Williamson:I do think it's going to be a big party, you know. How many's on the list? Well, I just think I need to invite a lot of people. Got some really cool ideas. It's a sit-down. But do you want to hear... No, right. Okay, we'll do it later. Right, that was great. We've now got some misheard lyrics. You can tell we're already getting pissed because we've now forgotten we're even recording. So, charge our slides. Imogen, can we just say, best producer in the world ever. Thank you. You're welcome. Right. The most Luana misheard lyrics ever. Here we go. You know the song Milkshap. Oh, she's gone. There she is.

9:51Anna Williamson:The song Milkshake by Kellis. My milkshake brings out the fires of the yard. And they're like, it's better than yours, damn right. It's better than yours, I can teach you, but I have to discharge.

10:08I cannot sing it any other way. well nor can I now no that's it love the pod and all that jazz Emma give me a poor name of your choice we need to bring a speaker to Paris yes we do I've got a really good don't let me forget my really good JBL speaker it's fucking loud we need it on in our hotel room when we're getting I think we need

10:27Anna Williamson:to start a to-do list on our chat on our group chat about that with things to bring to do yeah yeah to-do list things to pack while she's just doing our admin for our Celine weekend which is gonna be epic! Jo has also messaged in saying, hi guys, I love the pod and all that. She's resisted the jazz. I just wanted to share with you. Oh yeah, pack a speaker. Pack cocktails for the train. Add to this. Maybe Monopoly Deal as well for the train. Or is that a bit boring? It's a good game. You love games, yeah, put that in. Monopoly Deal. Monopoly Deal. Yeah, put that on. Anna said this. Don't make me look like a boring bastard.

11:12Anna Williamson:Anyway, just wanted to share with you that at the age of 45, I'll wait for you for this. Okay, I've literally only just found out that yesterday I've been singing Ricky Martin's She Bangs lyrics entirely wrong my entire life. She bang, she bang. So we were driving to the beach and it came on the radio. So obviously I was singing along. My partner was like, what are you singing? I genuinely couldn't believe I got it wrong because to me it made perfect sense. She looks like a flower, but she stinks like a pig. What? Isn't it? She looks like a flower and she sings like a bee, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, baby.

11:48Anna Williamson:She looks lovely and beautiful, but then she stinks like a pig. It's the opposite, isn't it? As I now know, she doesn't stink like a pig. She stings like a bee. But pig and bee don't even sound the same. And she stinks like a pig. Jo from Eastbourne. She says, what an idiot I am. I have to agree, bubs. But thank you for your contribution. Thank you, babes. I love it. We've got a voice note now from Anon. So Fluffy Bun Bun. Fluffy Bun Bun. Very strong, Miss. Very strong. What percentage? It's very sugary as well. Mine's not sugary. Mine's quite bitter. I'm enjoying this because I'm actually so starving that it's now curbing with the sweetness.

12:21Anna Williamson:It's just delicious. Claire, please send me a big crate. Fluffy Bun Bun. Hi, Luanna and Imo. I hope you're all okay. Love the pod and all that jazz. Just thought I would send in today something which I feel like you might enjoy, which is a traumatic hamster story that has actually happened to me over the summer. I live in Dubai and I came into possession of a hamster about a year ago now because a friend of mine moved into a villa and the previous owner had sadly left this little hamster behind bless it, so I came to be the proud doctor's parent who we call Peter Rabbit. Anyway, sadly I went home over the summer and unfortunately poor Peter was not faring very well.

13:05Anna Williamson:They don't last very well, do they? Very long, do they? Hamsters. And so I left my cleaner, my lovely cleaner, looking after Peter Rabbit. Anyway, the day after my 30th birthday, I wake up to a message, four words. Madam, the hamster is dead. And I was like, oh my goodness. And so in my panic, I reply. I say, oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. That's all you have to find that. I'm not sure why I'm apologising. I've not actually done anything. But anyway, we're very British, aren't we? We are. So I said, oh my God, I'm so sorry. What I asked her to do in my panic was to just put it in a bag and pop it in the freezer and I'll deal with it when I get there.

13:42Anna Williamson:I'll only be back in about a week and there's not really much food in the freezer anyway. So I send this message. By the time, this is in the two minutes I send this message, by the time she receives the message, no, sorry, I received a reply from her, it says, Madame, I've already flushed your hamster down the toilet. Poor Peter has been flushed down the toilet without my consent. And I just, I feel so sad for him because he had a traumatic life and I feel like that's not the ending he deserved. Anyway, I hope that the traumatic hamster story has made you giggle or at least made you gasp.

14:28I mean... Pardon me. Oh, I need to get out of this room. No, I feel sick now. You're a lot of sick fuck. Yeah, yeah, I am, baby. I feel bad for Peter. I can't, like, keep that fucking dress around your ankles, you dirty, dirty pig. You dirty bitch. What's wrong with you? Anyway, Paul, I can... No, do not even waft it. You're wafting it. It doesn't smell. It doesn't smell. I've got a headache. It doesn't smell. It's because it's about 80 degrees in here. Right, lessons from Anon, so wonder lick me.

15:03Anna Williamson:We're coming off the rails, guys. I'm actually... It's so bloody... I'm drunk. Hi, Luisa and Anna. I know this probably sounds ridiculous. I can't start...

15:22That poor man. You rode off a car with you and you're like... Oh, my baby. Sorry, we're still reeling about the car that got impaled on my bollard.

15:35Anna Williamson:Anyway, let's carry on. Hi, Louise and Anna. I know this probably sounds ridiculous, but I can't stop thinking about it. I bought all of my bridesmaid dresses for my wedding and they were£170 each. I never expected them to wear them again, but I did think they'd keep them because they were such a huge day. They were part of such a huge day in all of our lives. A few months after the wedding, I was... Oh, no. Oh, guys, wait, wait. A few months ago after the wedding, I was casually scrolling through Vinted and nearly dropped my phone when I saw one of my bridesmaids selling her dresses for 40 quid.

16:06Anna Williamson:So what? I know technically it's her dress. No, I actually can understand why she feels a bit shitty. Oh, come on. Don't do it so overtly. I bought it for her. It's not overt. It's on Vinted. Yeah, but you're going to be friends with your mates on Vinted, aren't you? I don't have Vinted. I have. If you're going to sell your bridesmaid dress, don't do it when your mate can sit. I bought it for her so she can do whatever she wants with it. but I can't explain why it upset me so much. It felt strangely personal, like she was getting rid of a memory that meant a lot to me. What made it worse was the price.

16:34Anna Williamson:I spent£175 on that dress and she was practically giving it away. There's no market in secondhand thing. It made me wonder whether she hated it all along. I haven't said anything because I don't want to sound completely unhinged, but every time I think about it, I do feel this thing of hurt. Oh, you need to go over it. Should I tell her it bothered me or is this one of those things I need to accept and just keep my mouth shut? Yeah, I think just keep it. Sorry, hon. and you need to be a bit less sensitive. She's just clearing out her wardrobe. She's having a clear up. She's getting a bit of cash for it.

17:02It's really not that deep.

17:03Anna Williamson:I'm actually going to be honest with you. Years ago, I was a friend's bridesmaid. Very beautiful dress she got off the high street. You could re-wear it. I never re-wore it. I don't want it in my wardrobe anymore. And I did send it to a high-class charity shop. I was bridesmaids for a friend, and I absolutely hated that fucking dress. It was disgusting, and it didn't suit my figure, and it was a horrible colour. And I have no idea where that dress is. I think I left it in the hotel on my way out. I think we all need to also accept that no one else is invested in your wedding as you are. They don't care.

17:34Anna Williamson:No one is. They don't send you an anniversary card. No. Imo, we love you. Have we ever sent you an anniversary card? To her, unfortunately, your friend, it was just a dress. But I do want to be godmother to your child. And you know what? And me. You should always choose the rich friend. Or the stable one. Or you could get a two for one. Yeah. Yeah. We are Siamese twins. When two become one. I need some love like I never needed love before. See, how much better could you do than getting the rich one and the stable one as your godparents? Yeah. Who are you going to choose? We're going to be offended if you don't choose us, actually.

18:12Anna Williamson:For this baby that doesn't exist. We're invested because we're not having any more kids. You get to choose one and Nate gets to choose one. Well, I'm not sure we'd do official godparents. Well, we want to be in on this. We're not going to do the church thing. Okay, naming ceremony blessing thing. I mean, you'll be in the running. Why not? Some vet. We're not in the running at all. We better be in the running. You could be in the running. We could provide a lot for this kid. We'll put on the party here. Because we quite like kids. We just don't want to have any more of our own. I've got that recorded.