'Just put Pony on my funeral playlist'

22:21Yes, let's do it, let's do it. We've got a message from Kelly. She says, hey girls, I wrote in the other week about my mum unknowingly taking my, oh yeah, my sister's mobile to a funeral. Oh, that was so funny. Well, you know I said it could only happen to my mum. I've got another corker. Go on. My mum's brother passed away about 20 years ago now. He had built a canal barge from scratch in his younger days so the wake was held at the local marina where the barge was moored. My mum got quite pissed at the wake and my auntie was taking a few family members to see the barge. My mum and dad went along too.

22:53The barge was on the canal down a bit of a sloping embankment and after the several double brandies, go on mum, my mum had drank. She started to do a little trot down the embankment. The trot became a run. Not being able to stop herself, she put her hands out and hit the barge. It was moored at the other end so the arse end where she was throwing herself again again started to move outwards. She slid down the barge grabbing a rope and somehow twisted round, her feet still on the grass, her hands holding the rope for dear life and her arse dipped in the water. By this point, my dad and a few guys had run out after her and managed to pull her back on dry land.

23:34My dad then took her mortified, soggy arse home. Told you, can only happen to my mum. I really could write a book. Kelly from Lancashire. That's like a You've Been Framed classic, isn't it?

23:45Anna Williamson:Yeah, like, wait a minute. Classic. Oh, I remember you. That was like the OG YouTube. How many people, right, did you try and do funny clips and then try and send them in to get 250 quid? No. It's me and me mate Jack, right? Didn't you? This sounds really me. I'm confessing to this. Heavy caveat, I was only 14, 13, 14. You know you got 250 quid for a clip for You've Been Framed. Well, he had a dog, a Labrador, who was blind. No, we loved the dog. And the dog was like, so he had a blind dog. But it was really funny that there was a ditch in his garden. So if you stood on the other side of the ditch and called the dog, the dog would run and then would fall in the ditch.

24:27Anna Williamson:That's so mean. And then my mum got a video camera, which obviously was... Your mum was in on it? No, no, I nicked the video camera, which is the pride of joy in the 90s to get one of those. boys camcorder it was like oh anyone that had a camcorder was definitely doing well with their lives um anyway so then we we filmed it and sent it in and we we didn't get it probably probably not because it was probably animal cruelty that we made the blind dog fall in the ditch you should be ashamed of yourself oh i kind of am now sorry about that um message from claire um can i say i bet someone has done that though if you sent in a clip to you've been framed just trying to make I feel bad.

25:05Anna Williamson:Yeah, just, I want to know about it. Okay. Right. Message from Claire. Hi, Luanna and Imo. Huge fam for a while now. Thank you, babe. I've worked my way through the whole back catalogue. Well done. You're my star of the week. And I follow on a weekly basis. I am a new ma 'am. Oh, a new ma 'am. Sorry, yeah. She's probably Irish. Geordie. Yeah. I'm a new ma 'am. Well, she's 10 months old now. And I really feel like I'm, oh, bless you. I feel like I'm still struggling. Any advice is greatly appreciated. All right, babes. You're here to the right people. I'm happily married and we had our baby girl in October last year and for the first six or seven months I felt like I was a single parent to cut a long story short my husband really struggled to bond and actually told me that when I initially told him I was pregnant he didn't think he was ready there were many instances that I felt alone unsupported and disrespected as an example he slept whilst I was having contractions in the initial stages of labor I suffered with post call my grandma and my auntie a little girl all within six months of each other i was having counseling for postnatal depression and complex grief counseling and through that i was able to tell him how his actions made me feel and we have been working through this together cut to today and although he now feels a bond with her and is doing much better and doing more i still feel that he isn't doing enough i do bedtime every bedtime every early morning and the only time he takes her is if I ask for some time away to go to my yoga or I ask for help.

26:32Anna Williamson:For example, he had a bad cold the past couple of weeks. So I said I would take the load. Today, I also felt super sick with this cold. And he then said he would get her up with her. I thought that was great. But when I came downstairs, he was lying on the mat with his eyes shut, napping while she played all by herself. This is just one example of a whole list of things that still really upset me am i being too harsh on him i've tried to let my resentment and anger go most of the time it is gone but i do need to just do what but do i need to just accept this or is there a way we can work through it i just generally feel lost and alone the majority of the time and i'm scared if i bring it up it will cause an argument i love him more than i can describe um but i am also beginning to wonder how i see this working long term if we're on different pages uh help is greatly appreciated as always keep doing what you're doing i feel like i'm listening to my best mates when talking, listening to the pod.

27:23Anna Williamson:Don't keep me anonymous. I'm Claire and a shout out to my homie, Kate and Hannah. This is really common and actually... That's what I was about to say. Well, so common, in fact, that... I feel like I'm plugging all my businesses today, but which is why I developed a... It's called the Couples with Kids coaching plan because so many people do absolutely have this. And did you know, statistically, one in five couples break up in the first year of having a baby. It doesn't surprise me. Because it's so stressful. And so I think just with that context, I think we can all recognise and hopefully normalise that you are not alone in this.

27:59Anna Williamson:Lou, what would you say? Honestly, I feel like I felt like this with my first husband and my eldest daughter. And, you know, I struggled to come back from that. And I think that you can, though. I think that, you know, generally, I don't want to say this, But I do think that as women, we just cope better with having children and that some men really struggle to adjust. And I would have said that a lot more before I met Andrew, actually, because then when Andrew and I had babies, he was really, really good. Was he? Yeah. Actually, I don't know what Andrew was like in the early stages. He was really good.

28:30Anna Williamson:Was he? Was he a hands-on dad for babies? Really hands-on, happy to do the night feeds. Was he? Yeah. Happy to get up in the morning, really shared the load. Yeah. He was amazing. and that actually did show me like what because before with my first husband I'd have been like oh you know it's just men isn't it but it's actually not it's not just men and we shouldn't like pigeonhole blanket like have that blanket excuse to them this is just to me it's just selfish unsupportive behavior that we let our partners sometimes get away with on the premise of oh well it's just a guy and we're the women and we should pick this up and sometimes it's path of least resistance isn't it yeah you kind of get sick of having to keep saying and to be honest I do think that it does show what it's going to be like long term though I do I hate to tell you that like I'd love to sit here and be like oh you know it will get better when they get older I just think that some guys are selfish and they don't want to give up their their sleep or they don't feel like it's their responsibility and I do think that they are unsupportive selfish partners and I wouldn't want to be with someone like that and I'm not with someone like that and I wouldn't have had more children to have another partner essentially that I felt was like that so I think it's really tricky like what to say to you I will tell you is that it gets easier for you as the child gets older because naturally as they get older things do get easier and you get more flow in a routine but I really do think with the you know behavior that he's exhibiting now that you know I don't want to make it a bit like depressing but that is kind of your lot I think if they've been like that I do I think it's a great window into the future and you either need to really put your foot down and lay out your expectations and stick to it and don't then go go back to old habits because that's easier and you want to take the path of least resistance like you need to say to him I actually don't can't see this or this cannot happen long term and consistently continue like this and these are the things that need to change for me to be happy and fulfilled in this relationship and you know there needs to be a partnership in this that's the word here Lou partnership I think he's not telling you a lot of what he is feeling um and he you know there's a few clues in there when he said he wasn't sure you know he wanted the baby struggling to bond and everyone is different and everybody struggles at different times you know I struggled to bond with my first child because of post-out depression and then my husband struggled to bond with our second initially I think just because we all we're in COVID and I think everything was just all over the place with his career as well at that time and just everything imploded basically but Lou is spot on when she says about being partnership and I think I think you need to have a real kind of hands-on-table conversation with him on what you need what you expect what a partnership is but also give him an opportunity I think be compassionate to a point to actually ask him look I want to invite you to honestly tell me what you feel and if it because I and I'm going to say it from a sort of the other way position, because when someone did do that with me, when I had postnatal depression and I felt I was able to trust in being really honest in that moment, go, I really hate it.

31:57Anna Williamson:I hate it. I feel this. I feel trapped. I feel lonely. I feel like that. And having that moment to actually honestly purge those feelings. And I had to purge those feelings to my husband, which took me a lot of bravery because I didn't want him to judge me and think that I didn't want our children. And then he struggled second time around. So I really understood it from his point of view and he was in his own words pretty crap in those early early phases of her but i did have we did have to sit down and have that real waltz and all conversation i think it's hard isn't it though sometimes even though like you have a partner and they're like obviously meant to be like the closest person to you and you'll be you're meant to be able to say anything to them quite often like we don't want to like we don't want to communicate like our feelings and how we're feeling it's really hard to talk about you in the most i would say it's when I'm working with private clients, it's why often people find therapy easier because it's easier to speak completely honestly to someone that doesn't know you because you are loaded emotionally with you worried about being judged or any repercussions or it's really, really bloody vulnerable.

32:59Anna Williamson:So it might be that he, like there's two scenarios here. Yeah, he could just be a bit of a lazy ass, as you say, and not interested or whatever and just needs a massive kick up the ass and your resentment is only going to grow and grow and grow until you nip that in the bud and lay down some boundaries with it but on the flip side I wonder if there is an opportunity for you to give him a real kind of look I really want to hear from you because as Lou said and I know it can be the hardest thing to really honestly say how you feel to your partner I think give him that opportunity and that might give you a clue as to where to go forward on this yeah what it will do is it will definitely give you an idea on where you are within the relationship and if it can be improved or not so I think that's Probably your next best step.

33:40Anna Williamson:But well done. But don't, I think, yeah. Don't suck it up. Don't suck it up. Don't suck it up. Don't suck it up. Communicate. And then if you communicate and things don't change, then you make a call on what to do then. Yeah, I think so. Good luck. We've got another message in from Karina. She says, Hi, Luanna and MO. I bloody love your podcast. Well done. Oh, thanks, Karina. You should be so proud of it and the community you have. Oh, we are. That's so cute. We're really proud. I was in the old Batcastle of the other day and listened to the app. so proud where there was a funny funeral story and an old fella's trousers oh I remember that oh this was such a good story so good the old fella's trousers came down I want to hear that one again yeah we should go back so good now do you know what just sorry to interject but what was really funny is we're on the Eurostar coming back from Paris right and we're about to go in the tunnel Anna's like I just need a moment so she puts her headphones in right and Carrie and Lucy are looking at me like she thinks she's alright and I'm like yeah she's fine just ignore her don't give her any air time I was like just signal her just let her go into her any little while for a minute I'll be fine so she puts her earphones in she closes her eyes then she's like laughing and I'm like what are you listening to and she's like how narcissistic am I I was like you are listening to me and you me that is sitting opposite you that you can speak to at any time I can't get enough of you Lou and you yourself you're listening to us and our podcast she was like yeah we're so funny you're so funny Lou and I was like you'd made some quip about Imo's tortoise do you know what in all honesty I just shoved anything on and the first pod that actually was up was our was ours um but it just absolutely creased me that she was listening to us I was like but I'm here can I just say I think our listenership figures are probably dancing.

35:33Anna Williamson:I never listen back. I don't always. I don't always. So funny. Sometimes I like to, you know, it is actually a habit that was ingrained in me from like my early kind of telly days to always listen or watch back to self-critique. And it's only when I listen back and I go, oh God, Anna, shut up. Stop interrupting. We're talking over each other again. Yeah, and it's actually when I hear it, it does remind me to just be better. Maybe I should listen back then. Stop interrupting you as well. Don't worry about it. Anyway, so she says there was a funny funeral story and old fella's trousers came down and it was bloody hilarious.

36:06So I thought I'd share my funeral story with you. It still makes me die in shame. My auntie Pam died last year. We were very close as my mum died when I was three. And Pam essentially played a second mother role in my life. She was a gorgeous woman, obsessed with Dolly Parton. And I'm glad she went before poor Dolly. Or she'd have been, oh, she'd have been dev-o'd. And because I'm the youngest in the family and therefore the designated tech person, there's always one, the designated tech person in the family, I was given one job for the funeral, the music, three songs. Yeah. Entrance, middle and the committal, the curtain moment.

36:52That's a big moment. so I go up to the crematorium five minutes before the service starts to suss it all out five minutes the bloke shows me the orcs lead I plug my phone in we do a sound check all fine top three songs on my light tracks in order ready to go I hand my phone over to one of the crematorium people who will be pressing play pause next song that kind of thing and I go and sit down the first song plays out and everyone files in to Jolene because it was Pam's fave. Banger. People are smiling at the music fondly and my dad whispers, good choice, kiddo, as he joins me on my row. It comes to an end, a nod to the woman with my phone and she clicks pause.

37:37Service begins, it's all sombre and sad, we all have a collective sob. Then the fella taking the service tells us it's time to have a listen to one of Pam's favourite tunes as we reflect on her life in silence. Give a nod and a smile to the music woman one of Paul Simon's songs plays out. It's a really lovely moment. It's beautiful, though. Then we get to the committal. The vicar man does his bit. Everyone stands. The curtain starts to move. I give a nod, final nod to the music woman. But the beautiful classical piece I expected did not play. Oh, no. The stupid bin had clearly clicked shuffle on my phone by accident.

38:16Oh, no. So what my phone chose out of thousands of songs at that precise moment that my aunt's coffin began its final journey was Genuine's Pony. What is that? Hang on.

38:34Anna Williamson:Hang on. Let's get this up. Let's get the context. It's the stripper song. Our stripper's stripped to that. Oh my gosh. Please carry on, Lou. So we've just heard that. So it comes on. The curtain is going. I'm scarlet red. I just froze. Coffin, fucking curtains. Down, down, down. Grinding out. Our palms grinding out. Grinding into that fire. I just froze. So we all... Sorry, just lose. Can't lose. Sorry, guys. I just froze. So we all stood there in silence watching Aunty Pam disappear. They kept it on. She kept the bloody song on. She disappeared. kind of a little curtain to Pony. The vicar was magnificent.

39:24I'll give him that. He waited, folded his hands and said, Pam did like a party. Love you girls. Hope this has given you a giggle. It very much has given us a giggle. Can I just say, when I snuff it,

39:39Anna Williamson:I need to go out to Genuine's Pony. You need to give it. Oh, no, do you know what? Hot stuff. Yeah. looking for the fire. I am a fire starter. We're not making fun of Aunty Pam, by the way, but this is, I think, in the lols vein. I am a fire starter. A tracet fire starter. See you, bitches. In the curtain. That is how we are going out in this world, guys. That's it. We do love your funny stories. Funeral stories. we have had so much mileage at this. Please keep them coming in. I mean, I've been to a few funerals recently and sadly they were not at all funny, but I wish they were. Everyone needs a funeral story.

40:25Anna Williamson:Lighten the mood. Actually, there was a slight funny one. But well, it's funny awkward. It's like when there's awkward because at funerals in particular, everyone, because also at funerals, like weddings are different because everyone's invited. So they all sort of know, but funerals, anyone can come. This is it. So it's a bit of a weird smorgasbord of people, isn't it? particularly a young person when they go you get a lot of people from very different you know work holly things and our friend that passed away did an awful lot with like you know youth teams and things like that you know it was a big big funeral so everyone's in that awkward very silent all standing around lining the road of the you know the up to the creme and um and someone i don't think they were part of the funeral part oh no they were they were part apparently part of someone to do with the funeral.

41:12Anna Williamson:Suddenly, everyone's standing there silently whispering, you know, the coffin's going to come up, the hearse. This enormous caravan, like mobile home. Turned up at the funeral. She started driving. So you know how everyone's waiting now? Everyone's hush, hush, silence. Hands in lap. Someone comes in a fucker's meet the fucker's RV. Literally, a fucking RV turns up, this massive charabang, right? We look down, this massive caravan starts to come up. Now, the problem is, is that everybody was lining the goddamn little streety bit. And so the bit where you would drive through everyone into the car park was now full of people and some cones which had been placed out to obviously make sure the house goes.

41:51Anna Williamson:Well, point of no return, you can't back up a massive caravan, can you? So we're all standing there. And then there was basically the two people in the caravan. Driving the caravan. Were they coming to the funeral then? Well, I think they were. when you've got literally 500 people all looking at them instead of then having to slowly drive this caravan to the sea of people. Look ahead, Fred. Look ahead. Don't make eye contact. Sorry, I just remembered it. But there's always that moment, which is why always get to a funeral early, guys. Yes. And park somewhere a long way away. Listen, remember, we want those stories, by the way.

42:31Anna Williamson:Please get in touch and let us know. Email us, Luanna at... Everythingluanna.com Or drop us a WhatsApp on 075-215-6464. Who says Halloween only lasts one day? With Wayfair, one night of Halloween becomes a whole season at home. From larger-than-life yard decor and moody lighting to festive accents for every room in the house, Wayfair has what you need to make Halloween feel like magic all in one place. Because the best Halloween memories aren't made in just one night. They're made all season long. Shop Halloween decor now at Wayfair.com. Wayfair, every style, every home. Hey man, you hungry? Let's order delivery.

43:15Anna Williamson:Yeah, I was thinking... Italian. Burgers? Oh. Game night just got tense. Two bros on different sides of the fence. Burgers or pasta tonight. Why can't we have food without the fire? With Wonder, you can combine 20 restaurants in one delivery, so no one has to settle. Use code MEALTIME for 50 % off your first Wonder order. Terms apply. See wonder.com slash new customer. Right, this is sad because we were for this, but we have a little update. So MPs have voted against the latest attempt to legislise. Legalise. Legalise. Legislate. I think that's where you were going, Bo. Yeah, assisted dying. so basically it was a closed vote and it was close 286 against and 274 meaning that the bill has been blocked and this bill would have allowed terminally ill adults with less than six months to live to apply for help to end their lives as long as they had signed up from two doctors and an expert panel this has obviously been debated in parliament for years and years and MPs were free to vote but I'm still shocked that it didn't go through to be honest I am I'm for this very much.

44:30You know, it's just, we don't, I always say we don't let animals suffer. We don't. We make the decision as the owner to have to put them out of their misery. And also I think that if I was in the situation where I was facing six months to live and it was going to be like an awful six months. Painful day. I would definitely want to go and pop, like, car kit on my own.

44:50Anna Williamson:You also have to have that dignity to go. Just let people have the option. The option. But also. Why not? Why would you be against it? Because if they're going to die anyway, and I think this is what I don't understand because I saw one of my family members really have to hang on to the bitter end as cancer completely riddled their body. And it was like, my God, give them... And hadn't woken up out of a morphine-induced stupor for weeks anyway. I know, it's horrible. And it's like, give the person the dignity to be able to say goodbye, go to sleep, and it's a much more dignity. It's horrible for the family.

45:28Anna Williamson:Every day you're waiting for the phone to ring, still here. I know. You know it's going to come and it's a really horrible end. I would rather have that decision myself. And also another thing that was raised was that like other European countries have this, like why don't we? Do that. But anyway, yeah. Is it a thing? I'm not very up on it. Yeah, I know. Because you could go to Europe and do it, right? I don't know. But the point is when you're at the point of only having like six months to live, you're probably not in a position to then travel to a different country. You're probably not well enough to get on a plane and go to Switzerland.

46:01Isn't it horrible?

46:01Anna Williamson:But again, that's cruel, having to put someone through that and their family members to do that. I think everyone should have the right. I mean, I obviously absolutely think they should quite rightly come with huge caveats around it, but that's what they're saying. We're not just saying you can snuff you out. That's why it's two doctors and a panel. and they're saying that it protects vulnerable people. I'm not sure. Maybe there's something we don't know and it's not as cut and dry as we think. But it's very disappointing, I feel. I think so. And I hope that that gets revisited at some point. Anyway, very Luanna story now.

46:37Anna Williamson:This one, I mean, it got sent to me about a billion times. Lu is a hard relay after her current situation. You will have seen on socials the Beijing High Rocks competition, which is under fire, much like the competitor's arse. Because the person that won it, I believe, she basically shat herself. She shat herself. She shat herself. She's an Australian. Yeah. Poor Joanna. Joanna Weitrisks. She suffered a bout of faecal incontinence. She basically shat herself mid-race. Now, instead of being pulled off the course, she was allowed to finish and she ended up winning the women's solo race with a time of 61 minutes and 23 seconds.

47:16Anna Williamson:I wonder how many minutes in the shot came. It was quite, no, it was, she was the first competitor. So basically she shat herself. No, but she finished in a time of 61 minutes. So just over an hour. Did she shit herself two minutes in? Oh, I see. Was it 51 minutes in? Maybe it will say. How long was the shit? Well, videos and pickies went viral on social media, showing her pushing through all the exercises. It was everywhere. The shit, it was going everywhere. I would not want to. She was using communal gym equipment. Okay. Now, this is where it all got a bit contentious and people took a deep offence to it, which I can sort of see.

47:55Anna Williamson:But, you know, athletes are not allowed to spit, snot or litter on the course. Oh, they shouldn't be able to shit on it either. Well, exactly. But she was. But organisers never stepped in at any point to address this situation or to reprimand the woman, who was filmed by fans with loads of fecal matter basically plastered down her legs and up her arms. It was everywhere. Now, according to the organisers, a team of cleaners were given the night to blitz all the contaminated areas. Carpets were replaced. But the lack of instant intervention, that is what has caused the stir amongst competitors and industry figures.

48:28Anna Williamson:On Weibo. Which is the Chinese WhatsApp. Yeah, it had over 27 million views with people basically tearing into the athlete and the organisers. She gave no fucks, though. Now, I congratulate her brazen attitude to that. She is the world record holder. and she was just so indifferent. She actually posted a selfie, which I saw to Instagram stories. And basically she was having like nutrients and fluids and she just put go hard or go home. A win's a win. So I'm in two minds on this. I am like, good for you. Look, here's the poo. There's the poo, yeah. So the question is really here, should she have been allowed to continue in the race?

49:09Anna Williamson:Oh, it's bad. I mean, there's a lot of poo going down that leg. jumping around and I think it's safe to say Lou if you were in that race with her and behind her you'd have not been very impressed I couldn't have done it it would have made me sick so it is repulsive but on the flip side I commend her athleticism to continue now a lot of people because I was reading comments a lot of people sort of in defence of her were saying well you know and I did run the London Marathon many years ago and there's a thing called Jogger's Log between mile five and six where your bowels go basically and everybody just shits themselves everyone shits themselves Yeah, they have loads of toilets from what I remember.

49:45Anna Williamson:There are particularly loads of toilets around that thing. Now, Paula Radcliffe famously took a shit on the side of the court. Yes, I remember. And so I remember running the marathon, genuinely, the smell of shite at a round mile. No. Yeah, because people are farting and sharting and nipping off into bushes or into port-a-loos to crap their pants. It's just a thing. Your bowels go. Your bowels just go, especially if you're having the gels to keep you hydrated. They just do. So it's not very pleasant, but it is a sort of a thing that everyone recognises. Everyone needs to do a douche. Or a, what's it called?

50:16An up the bum thing. Oh, an enema.

50:17Anna Williamson:Yes. But it was sort of almost just a given. Like, it just happens. But at the same time, I suppose, as people quite rightly said, that when you do a London marathon, you're outdoors. Yeah, she was doing it inside. And you're also, you're running past it. On carpet. Well, this is it, you're running past it. I've had to replace carpet. Yeah, it's pretty disgusting. I think being indoors, I think, should she be allowed to compete? Probably no. I think she shouldn't. I think she should have. She should have been able to compete. No, she should have pulled out. I think she should have been pulled.

50:44But she's obviously so competitive.

50:46Anna Williamson:I love the mindset. I like the mindset. I love the mindset. I'm not sure about the execution. I'd have been pissed off if I was someone else walking in her shit. Me too. Well, one weird thing to another. It's now time for... It's the Widow of the Week. Right, first up we have Jade. I am a weirdo, but I've just left the dentist. And any time I'm getting work done, I always think this is how they identify me if I was murdered. Sorry, am I weird? She says, I find it quite fascinating, but I'm not the only one. Jade in Scotland. That thought has crossed my mind. What? Your dental records? The dental records.

51:20Never thought about it. Now that's all I'm going to think about. And on, so tatio. Hi Luanna, love you all. Oh, tatio. Tattoo. Ah. Tatio. Well done, Emma. Love you all. Blah, blah, blah. I have an, is it weird? Is it weird that when I write a card for someone, I'll make sure it's my best handwriting because if I die they might get it tattooed on them. Yes, that is weird. You're the winner for me. So weird.

51:48Anna Williamson:Hey, what was the first one? She... Oh, the teeth thing. I can see why people think that. Yeah, doing best handwriting in case someone gets a tattoo is definitely the weirdo of the week. Congratulations. Congrats, you're our winner for this week's You are. Widow of the week. Now we are hot off the back of Celine Love but is there a little rant of these? Do you know what? I have got a rant actually. Go for it. I think I might have ranted about this before but I'm going to do it again because it's happened again. Go on. It's happened again, okay? Right. I have got a HGV licence, okay? I also drive cars and I get that lorries are annoying and also lorries are involved in a lot of crashes and I always think that we blame the lorry drivers.

52:32However, can I just say the amount of cunt faces that cut me up in a fucking 18 and a half ton lorry needs to stop. As in you're driving the lorry? Yeah, like I'm driving the horse box and people just fucking cut in front. Like, lorries have also a slower breaking distance. That's risky behaviour. And then people like constantly blame lorry drivers for them being like hit by their... Like, honestly, drivers, they're so fucking impatient. They just nip in.

52:59Anna Williamson:It's really bad. So I've never done that. It's so fucking bad. I just think you've got a massive Arctic lorry behind you about to smash in your arse. So that's what I would think. So I give a lorry a wide berth always. No, people don't. Honestly, they just want to save like three fucking seconds by pulling in front of my lorry and then I can't brake that hard. I'm full of horses. I'm not prepared to like break my horse's legs. But I would rather hit your car than kill you than break my horse's leg, basically. That is the pecking order here on the road, okay? I hear it. Horses, number one. You in your fucking Kia that's driving like a twat is number two.

53:34so if it's between you and my horse because of your shit driving you are getting hit because I can't brake that hard and fast so just stop pulling in front of fucking lorries all the time it's so bad

53:48Anna Williamson:and then do the drivers get aggy at you no because they know that they've been assholes but they're just trying to save a couple of seconds here it's not that much of a big deal if you have to wait for three seconds pull in behind the lorry and then pull out into the next lane to take over. You do not need to. It's more when they're joining from a slip road and I'm in the slow lane and they're coming on and they're like speeding up to get in front of me. Just fucking wait. People are so impatient. And then there's all these accidents and it's like, it's not the lorry driver's fault half the time.

54:21I'm telling you, it's harder to react when you're in a fucking HGV vehicle, okay? So if you are one of these twat head, fuckwit, arsehole, cunt bollocks, wanker heads, just stop doing it. Just stop nipping in. Just stop. Just stop nipping in. Sometimes I just feel like hitting people. Yeah, don't do that. It really annoys me. That would be a problem. I wish I could get like a little BB gun and just like. You mean you can't do that either. But you know, it's good to think about it. I could, they're legal BB guns. And I could just shoot pellets at people's windows.

54:48Anna Williamson:Halfway down the M11. Crack a few windscreens. Like Tom Cruise leaning out the window with a BB gun. Just like putting a few holes in their windscreen. Just a few windscreen cracks to teach people a lesson. Well, I think you're having a ruddy grey lorry up there. I feel like I've become more for vigilante stuff recently, especially with all the boats and the Portsmouth things going on. And then that guy, Dusty, the Muslim. Wow, did you not see it? The transgender Muslim woman, Dusty. No. Well, a gentleman is transitioning to become a Muslim woman called Dusty. And he was wearing, she, sorry, she was wearing a burqa.

55:31at the Portsmouth thing. Have you not seen this? No. And she was there in her burka, fully covered, because that's her religious dress, and they arrested her. Hmm. Well, that's illegal. They basically arrested her for wearing a burka when that's how she identifies. Oh, wow. And she was protesting, and they've arrested her for it. Well, I think that's disgraceful. It can't be a two-tier system. Yeah, I mean, I'm going to absolutely go and have a look at this. If Dusty wants to identify as a female Muslim in a burqa, that is her choice. Okay? Yeah. The fact that underneath the burqa, it was a big burly bloke called Steve.

56:18Who are we to say that Steve is not transitioning to Dusty? And then Dusty got arrested. I was horrified by it, quite frankly.

56:27Anna Williamson:Oh, wow. It shouldn't have happened. And Dusty should have been allowed to protest in that burka. Because basically all face coverings were banned except religious dress. Viva Dusty. Viva the burka for Dusty, let me tell you. Well, I'm going to go and watch this story because I've clearly been... I can't believe you've not seen that. No, I have not seen a thing, but I'm going to look up Dusty the burka. Yeah, I wonder whether Dusty is still imprisoned or not. I'm going to absolutely go down this rabbit hole. I wonder whether Dusty went to a female prison or a male prison. I mean, I'm going to find this out.

56:58anyway that disgraced me too

57:00Anna Williamson:well don't cut in on lorry drivers excellent rant Lou that is it guys thank you for being here this week we have loved you joining us we're back on Monday though of course on Thursday we have Luanna totally extra we do need you guys for that we need you to please send in some more funeral stories and we're here for that send them in and all of your death becomes her yeah all of your guff anecdotes stories petty pollies you know Bellens in birth a few more of those Those would be nice. Yes, we've not had a bell ending birth for a while. There's got to be a few. Luana at everythingluana.com. Please also ignore any emails from scammers.

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