'Never has chlamydia felt so good'

16:29Anna Williamson:And in sunnier climbs, not a bad park. When we are just coming out of winter and we've had the worst rain on record. Fucking muddy. No, the best thing was. I wasn't holding out. So I've never been to this park and there's two parks. So you go along across a little bridge. There's like more of a baby park for younger kids. And then the kids are like, no, the big park's over there. And I went, oh, my God, guys, look, there's Go Ape. Oh, yeah. suddenly she perked up and went oh wow they've got like high wires and high ropes I was like that's so cool platforms I could see all this shit and I was like no Lou that is the Stanton Express it was all the wires for the train but she was like that's amazing they've got high wires because it looked like platforms and no it was just a train it was Stanton Express that whizzed past us so at that point I mean I am starting to actually crack up inside because she is doing to be fair a pretty good job at just going well i'll make the best of it you know and lou does make the best of it as we know um but say the kids are pissing about they're all in the park they all had crocs on they all had and they'd climb in like this tree which has got algae all over it i was like fucking filthy this park it was gray it was damp the air was damp it wasn't raining but it was just dumb and then indigo Go get stuck up a tree.

17:50Anna Williamson:Then Liz goes, I do not. And then I was, I think, in the same thing. I thought, I'm going to be in the shit for this. I'm not going to A &E. Then she's going, I am not spending A &E if you fall off this tree and bust your ankle. She's so high up. But we almost did because I couldn't stop laughing. So kids are all wanting to go around this, like, you know, gym trail, whatever you call it. So they're all getting stuck in. They're getting filthy. I'm wearing these bloody white trainers and we both had on our, like, beige trench coats. You know, we were in fairly nice-ish clothes, but it was filthy.

18:15Anna Williamson:And so the kids will then... You know, on the death pit of mud and filth and misery. The trim trail. On the monkey bars. Where they get the monkey bars, right. So the kids wanted to go on the monkey bars. They start arguing about who's first, who's first in the queue. And none of them are tall enough, right, to reach the monkey bars. So we have to lift them up. Which is fine for Anna's children. Because they take after Anna. They're very petite, slight children. My children, however, are more of what I would describe as solid children. They are. And they're quite tall and they are solid. You know, some kids, you pick them up and they're really light, like Elle.

18:51Elle is like a little dolly. It's like a little feather. Not mine. Mine are, my kids are actually quite heavy and Clemmie is like muscle. Like she's so fit and strong.

19:00Anna Williamson:They're just really fit, you know. Wow. I know, I would say, do you know what my... They have a good lifestyle and it shows sometimes on their bodies. But it's, they're not light, right? So we're having to pick... So Lou and I got into this tag team situation. Well, Pip ends up first. So he goes out. So we get a leg each. Either side. So they're like, right, right. Get both of us squat, hold on to the knee, one each, and then lift. So it's quite high. And then they're going. So we're like, done. We've got a system now. All the kids are my turn next, my turn next, my turn next. Clemmie goes next.

19:30Anna Williamson:Clemmie. She makes it across the whole barge. Very strong. Well, so then we get to Indigo. Well, at this point, I think her and I, we'd overestimated, I think, perhaps quite how surdy old blessed little Indigo is. And I think we'd got into a system of crouch and go. Well, as we went to crouch up. We smacked her head. We knocked her out. Fucking kid. We nearly knocked her out. So the poor girl. She's not crying. Literally, we went, lift. What? Right on the top. Well, we were kissing. I was kissing her head. We were, bless her little heart. We were both cuddling her. Pissing ourselves. Laughing that we just knocked her out.

20:08Do you know what? That ginger gene, it's strong. she didn't cry for long and then she was on those monkey bars bless her I was looking at your girls

20:17Anna Williamson:they are the most beautiful children they're so striking but they are like tanned ginger with tans but they're so like fox hair it's like this dark I know I got covered in mud I got home I had to dry clean that coat I just wiped the mud off it fucking fucking mud but it did make me laugh mud and misery it was mud and misery I did take a photo the photo I sent you I took a photo of me and Lou me looking as happy as a pig in the shit Lou looking like a misery in mud I was a bit depressed about coming back from my sunny life to that which is fair you didn't exactly come home to a scorching summer those playgrounds are so fun when I was younger I wasn't the nimblest of children neither was our babes I could never do monkey bars or anything like that.

21:12I remember there was this park down the road from me and I went to it and I wanted to do the fireman's pole. Oh, yeah. But I'd never really done one before. You only slide down that. Well, yeah, but it has the big... What the fuck? You're just going down there. Oh, it's quite big. No, because there's a platform and then there's almost like... Yeah. And then the pole is the far side. It's always a bit of dicey. You've just got to jump, grab and slide. Yes, I know, but I didn't do that, did I? So I held the far part where the pole is sticking down. Stucking down? Stucking down. Let go. And then I just swung into it.

21:45Oh, wow. Right into the nun? Yeah. And it was where, bam, like nun on pole. And it had black and blue nun face. No, you did it. Oh, babe. It really hurt. I can't imagine.

21:59Anna Williamson:Swing, wallop. I don't understand how to get onto the boat. Well, let's just say indigo can relate because the poor kid's got a bruised box after Argos. It was so funny. Oh, dear. And actually, I started getting a bit squat happy, thinking I can't let the team down here. So I started getting more and more confident ramming these kids up. Indigo's defence, she's very tall. Yeah, she's taller than the rest. So we misestimated the height. Misestimated? Anyway, it was fun and games. Listen, Lou, I really want to hear about this because... I really want a tissue, Bex, if you're out there and listening and can source me a tissue, I'd really appreciate it.

22:38Right, so anyway, this is actually not funny. No, it's not funny. The start of the story. No. So my good friend, oh, tissue. Do you want to cough, Bex,

22:48Anna Williamson:just to really piss people off?

22:53Bog roll tissue. So glad. There she goes. Oh, right up the schnoz. I love that my cough basically got hatred. I want a nostril reduction.

23:02Anna Williamson:No, you are not having a nostril reduction. Right. anyway so it's your mate my good friend tom he i've asked for his full permission to share this story by the way so i haven't seen him for years but you know you just stay in touch on instagram and stuff and i know him through horses and he like put this thing on facebook he'd been like really ill and then he'd been to the doctor and um basically had to go for loads of tests and they were like basically told him you've got colon cancer that's awful really bad so i was like he was beside himself i was messaging him like oh my god babe he's like i can't believe this is happening to me but anyway to go for like the more tests and stuff and anyway he then it was like really bad i actually did think he's gonna die because you know like when you get colon cancer it's really bad anyway he put an update um hadn't heard from him for a couple of weeks and i had a message to him and i was like you know like what's going on are you okay are you okay yep and then he's like oh yeah i've got to go back for more tests and then i hadn't heard from him and i thought oh no worse has happened then i saw his update on instagram right i've got full permission to play this.

24:22Right, go on then. Okay. So, I'm going to share my funny story.

24:27Anna Williamson:Okay, the music says it all. It wasn't so funny. Okay. But now I know what's going on. It kind of is. I am very pleased to report that I don't have cancer. Such good news. I have chlamydia. Hooray! I'd be so happy to say I've got an STI. I'll take chlamydia over cancer any day. I mean, I think we all would. I mean, what rollercoaster of emotions this year has been. I mean, I've gone from thinking I have cancer and my world is going to end to just, you're a slut. Of course, it's not just regular chlamydia. It's like one of the most aggressive strain of it. Oh, that sounds awful. Three weeks of antibiotics and I'm back to my slutty self.

25:11Yay! Celebrate good times. Come on! Well, congratulations, Thomas. Well done, Tom. Never had chlamydia felt so good. Well, I just thought that was brilliant. I thought it was going to die. And then I saw that and I was like, good for you, honey. Good for you. I mean, can I just say, the good thing is as well,

25:31Anna Williamson:he did put people out of misery right at the beginning with the funny soundtrack. Bloody hell, what an absolute... I had to share that. I got his full permission to share it. He's very excited, actually, about featuring on the pod. Oh, hi, Thomas. Bless your arsehole. I hope you're okay. We hope that those antibiotics are going well for you. Kicked in. And also, guys, it's very good. Do what Thomas did. Get yourself checked. Yes. If you've got funny little poos, a sore little body, get yourself down that dockies. Love that, though. If you've got a sore body, get down the dockies. Diarrhea. Diarrhea.

26:03Anna Williamson:Parley-vu.

26:07Anna Williamson:It's time for, firstly, one of our most popular segments. It's time for... It's the record, say, co. The record, say, co. It's the record, say, co. Ba-da-bum. Right. Oh. Shall I go first? Yeah, you go first. I like your record. Yeah, you're right for this. You can see it. Well, we had my, courtesy of my husband, he, surprisingly for him actually, booked a very nice romantic night out. Very nice. Very nice. I think we know we've been passing ships a lot lately. Yes, you've been working a lot. He's had his dicky arms. He's been a bit miserable. But it's getting better now. It's withering away his arm.

26:42Anna Williamson:Withering away. That's his wanking arm too. I bet you've been having to do that for him. Being a wife, let's put it that way. I've been a wife. Yes. Yes, he's a... Yes, I have. Anyway, it's given out the ick. You've got dick ick. Dick ick. Haven't you? Dick ick. Well, this will put you back online. Spock. So he... This is very thoughtful. He knows I like live music. He loves live music as well. And we'll take any genre, quite honestly. Oh, okay. We just like live theatre, live music. Metallica. Whatever it may be. That'll do. Yeah, whatever it may be. But he... So he took me to... And so this is my recoseco because it's, you can see these guys all around the UK.

27:22Anna Williamson:I think it's worldwide. Probably worldwide, actually. Because I've done this in Dubai. It is. I went on there. I did actually go. So it's at candlelight.concerts. They actually had like seven and a half million followers. So yeah, I'd imagine it probably is. Yeah, I've been to one in Dubai years ago. This one was done via a company called Fever. Again, this is, no, we bought these tickets, found them on Instagram, paid for them. We went. so candlelight concerts and it honestly was one of the most lovely nights we'd had it was in Cambridge they go to all different venues Cambridge is gorgeous so he picked that he thought it would be nice and romantic it's not that far from us so it was one of those big beautiful universities in Cambridge and it was the music was might sound a bit random but it was beautiful so it was all it was a string quartet and they're amazing and it was Ed Sheeran Coldplay oh I'd love that And it was so beautiful.

28:14Anna Williamson:And so it was absolutely packed. And it's all candlelight. There's like no natural light, is there? No natural light, no artificial light. Not real candles. No, but you wouldn't know. So it is artificial light. Actually, we were walking out and he went, oh, I didn't know that wasn't a real candle. I was like, fucking hell, bloody hell, do you know what I mean? But it's like thousands of candles. It is so stunning. And I just, I'm a big fan of local theatre as well, because I think when we go into, you know, West End, it can be so expensive sometimes. I think he spent, you know, let's say they're about£50 a ticket or something for this.

28:43Anna Williamson:Oh, not bad. In Cambridge University, candlelight.com. Not bad for a guaranteed shot. Exactly. And they do all kinds of different genres of music, from classical like Vivaldi, but to, you know, whatever you do. I think I went to a classical one. I am a fan of classical music. It's brilliant. And then before we went, just really nice bite to eat, to shoot in Cambridge. And it was one of the most romantic nights we'd had. and I can really recommend going to candlelight concerts. Fabulous. That's my reco. Ims? Mine is a biscuit. Can I just say though, props to you. You had a lot of comments of people.

29:22Anna Williamson:I think you win with the recos. Oh my God. The Toffalofalos. We could go to Portland today and get some. The Toffalofalos have been... There's only around the corner now. Bloody delicious. You know you love a bicky. Go on. These are more, they're better on the budget. Go on. Yes. Milk chocolate malted milk. From M &S? Well, no, the ones I can get from Sainsbury's, but I'm assuming you can get. Just a classic malted milk? But basically, it's a malted milk, but with chocolate on it. Oh, yes, Emo. Yes. And I didn't know they existed for a long time. And then my friends served them up and I thought, what fresh hell is this?

30:02and I tried to. Fresh heaven? It was fresh heaven. Yes. It was. I know I'm obsessed.

30:09Anna Williamson:This is what it's really about. I never had these biscuits until I did my journey across the border from Dubai to Oman and before I went obviously I had to get snacks like Catherine Tate with the children. Yes. So I deliverooed M &S did not know by the way that you could get deliveroo M &S in Dubai and I ordered these biscuits for my pilgrimage and they were top tier in that six hour car journey. A choccy malted milk. Do you know what? Thank you for bringing this back into our ether. And they're good dunkers for a cup of tea. Strong big. And it's also very nostalgic because malted milk's very like school biscuit.

30:51Anna Williamson:I love a malted milk. Elevate it with a choccy. Does it still have a cow on it? Yeah. Does it? Yeah. Elevate it. You want one now don't you? Well yeah. You're starving. We're going to work as well so we've got a bicky we've got a concert lou what is your record i'm going so i never really go into a shop do i anyway now i'm back and i didn't actually really have any clothes that many clothes or bras so i went into my local tesco florence and fred or f and f bit of f and babes yeah well i got some great do you want to see i got some great little under vests nice and get them out oh lovely nice little smooth bra took the padding out of it because my tits are big aren't they yeah that's nice really nice little cami bra tesco bra so little tesco for you there tesco for the win highly recommend I've put my vest on love because I'm cold and very reasonably priced very nice and actually I didn't buy any of the clothes because I was trying not to be extravagant but they're very well priced and quite nice.

31:56I love an F &F.

31:57Anna Williamson:I bought an F &F jean the other day. Did you? I'm a bit funny with jeans. They were a good jean. Really? Just a good day-to-day jean. Yeah. But the kids as well, honestly. Really good stuff. The little kiddies, knick-knacks. Honestly. So I'm just very comfy little bra, little undercummy. I'm very comfortable and warm. So Tesco bra for the win? Yeah. I don't like underweight bras and stuff. Do you? Do you wear underwire? I do. I do as well. It's really bad for you. But only because... It's bad for cancer, breast cancer underwire. The big... I might have made that up, by the way. There was something linked to it.

32:33Anna Williamson:Yeah, I'm sure. I do remember there being some news. But I take all the padding out and I just have, like, I just like it. Your sip perk is then paid for them, yeah. Yeah. Although... I think I need to get my tits redone, by the way. Do you? I know. Well, one's a bit... I think I've got capsular contracture. Oh. Oh. It's when it goes... You want like a warranty on boobs? I don't know, actually. But they are quite old. I had them done in 2018. I hadn't done eight years ago. Got one. And now this one's bigger than this one because I think it's got a contract. Those old boob jobs. One of my friends got a boob job recently.

33:06They're not bloody cheap, are they? They've really gone up in price. How much did you pay for your boob job? Do you want me to ask you? Well, the thing is, my last one, I've had two, haven't I? It was a standard boob job back then. I think when I first had my boobs done after Dixie, it was like three and a half grand. 15 grand, my friend just posed. The last time, for a standard boob job. Standard boob job. She didn't have a lift or anything like that. Standard boob job. Jesus, that's a lot. Because then in 2018, I had my old implants out. Really? Well, my old implants out, then I had a reduction and a lift and a new, very small implant in.

33:39Because naturally, I've got quite big boobs. And that was 15. I'd say one of our... That was quite a lot that I had done for 15. 15, what, just for a standard whack-and-implant in? God, that's really expensive. And it wasn't at some... No wonder people are going to Turkey. It's weird, actually, because the price of boob jobs has really gone up, whereas you'd think now, with it being way more accessible supply and demand, that it actually wouldn't have gone up in price. I know what you mean. It is interesting. Yeah.

34:07Anna Williamson:Anyway, that's our regular second section. Now for something super exciting. It's our competition. You and a friend can join us at our Luana the Big Party, guys, which is happening, obviously, in October. We're so excited. it's going to be one hell of a party. We are buzzing our tits off. Now, last time we did this was a couple of years ago. We've been a bit lazy last year. We didn't really do much. Just been busy, guys. Just been busy. But I have to say, it was probably one of the most fun things that we've ever done Luana-wise. We've got food-wise, we've got interactive shite going on on the stage.

34:37We've got DJs. It literally is all singing. Prizes. All dancing, all eating, and definitely all drinking. Now, it's pretty much sold out. There's a few tickets here and there. If you haven't got a ticket and you want to buy one, you can head to everythinglurana.com but something even better you can have the chance to win a ticket for you and your friend you can grab a drink with Anna and I before the show we are mine's a Prosecco mine's a bit spicy margarita anyway so these two tickets are for the big party it's in the evening it's our evening show on Saturday 3rd October 2026 it is at the Troxy in London and for your chance to win these two tickets for you and a friend.

35:19All you need to do is text the word party to 82200. That's P-A-R-T-Y to 82200.

35:28Anna Williamson:And we're feeling generous. Very generous. We're even going to chuck in an overnight stay in London. So in a very nice hotel. We're also going to bring, give you, sorry, £150 towards your travel costs as well. So the whole shebang is covered. Okay, all you have to do is just turn up and enjoy it. And the really, really lovely part is that by entering, you'll also have the chance to make a voluntary£5 donation which will be added to your phone bill but 100 % of that goes to Globals Make Some Noise an amazing charity isn't it amazing it does incredible work across the UK now you've got until 5pm on Friday the 27th of March to enter and you'll need to keep your phone handy because you might be getting a phone call bring bring standard network rates apply you must be 18 or over to enter for full T's and C's including prize date restrictions visit makesomenoise.com forward slash win so to enter text party to 82200 do it now messages right first up message from jewels hi luanna and mo newish listener thanks to my friend tan for the record hi guys good to see you better late than never uh you girls have become such a big part of my life and i'm slowly going through the back catalogue good girl i am so proud of you yeah anna approved tick you make me literally stamped yes you literally make me laugh out loud in the car and walking along the beach and the best gift you've given me is now like I'm feeling like not doing life as my own alone as a single mum.

36:46Anna Williamson:Oh, babes, you've always got us. Always. I can't thank you enough for the fun, the shared humanity and the girlfriend bond that I feel with you gals. So please keep doing what you're doing. Love you all. Don't keep me a non. I'm Jules from Perth in Oz. Hey, babes. So just thought I'd reply to the famous person slash idol meetup. Oh, yes. We put it out there, didn't we? Who have you met that's famous after me and my Sir Trevor? Sir Trevor. Me and Sir Trev. I've always loved the beautiful and the talented Nigella Lawson. The new host of Bake Off. Oh, is she? Yes, she is. Sex, isn't she? Sex, personified in a trifle.

37:19Anna Williamson:Oh, you just want to snog Nigella, don't you? So one day I found out she was coming to Perth and offered an evening with Nigella. I was totally in, as was my good friend Donna, also a foodie. So I jumped to a year later and the day has come. Donna had injured herself at work and was two weeks post-surgery. But that was fine. we were sitting down listening to Nigella. We got to ask her questions and find out what her favourite kitchen tools were. Did you know it's a mezzaluna? What's that? A mezzaluna. Mezzaluna? It's like a contraption, eh? Mezzaluna. We are taking a hiatus to check out a mezzaluna.

37:56Anna Williamson:It's one of those, like... Oh, it's like a choppy... A choppy... A two-handed, two-handled, choppy knife. Yeah, it looks like a half-moon thing. Yeah, it's like curved and then handles and you can wiggle it. It's like a scythe. Yes. It's like a scythe that you sort of... Do you know what? I thought that was a pizza dough cutter. I thought it was for herbs. It is for herbs. Oh, it is for herbs. Okay. Can we have the script back, please? Thanks. So, choppy, choppy. So, there you go. It's a mezzaluna. Anyway, it was great. Then, at the end, we were offered to meet Nigella to sign our books. All going well.

38:25Anna Williamson:Unfortunately, a lot of people also want to meet Nigella. Well, 60 minutes later, 11 p.m., we were still only halfway to see her. I wouldn't be that desperate to meet her. Well, they are desperate, though. We had a dilemma. do we want to queue for another 60 minutes? Suddenly Donna crumples to the floor while I try and break her fall. Everyone around us gasping. Donna, thank goodness it's okay. It's just her legs that gave way. There I am thinking, damn, we've queued as long as now and we're going to have to leave anyway. One of Nigella's kind people got a wheelchair for my friend and whisked us to the front of the queue.

38:56Anna Williamson:We then got more time to chat with Nigella as she was so concerned about Donna's fall and was so lovely and defo worth the wait. But I'm so glad it got sped up. If I'd known we'd have jumped the queue, I would have pushed Donna over sooner. Anyway, a very memorable meeting of my idol. Here's a lovely pic of us. Oh, there she is. In the winter. Look how happy the mate is. The mate is fucking buzzing. Look, look at that. Everyone's a winner. That's so good. Nigella looking glam. Love that pic. Also, very nice of Nigella's team. Yeah. There you go. Good caring team. I thought for a moment there that she'd faked the fall to do this, but turns out it was legit.

39:35Anna Williamson:Quite a good tip, though. You're a better person than me. Yeah. I would have pushed Lou on the floor deliberately to have got to the phone. I'd have just fallen. Would have been like Lou and Anna, Lou and Andy. Right, we've got a message from Anon, so Kenya, swallow. Brilliant. Kenya, swallow. Hi, ladies, keep me an on. Imo, do your thing. I love you all, Bex included, and hoping you can give me some advice regarding a neighbour. Settle in, peeps, as Anna would say. It's a long one. Okie dokes. Backstory. Me and my partner bought our home back in 2021. It's an end of Tara's house and the neighbour connected to us is an elderly lady who lives on her own.

40:13Now, I'm going to just let one go. Now, before you picture a sweet old dear, she has no family that visit her, despite having three daughters plus grandchildren. Yep, that type of old lady. When we first moved in, she extremely upset a family down the road as she tried to have their cat put down. Hmm. Imagine if that was you and Teddy. That's a story for another day. Not on your Nelly. Anyway, shortly after moving in, she latched onto me big time. She fell over outside her house and injured her hand. I worked from home and started at 8am. So every morning, bright and early, I'd pop next door, make her breakfast and tea and make sure she was set up for the day.

40:50We always used to check if she needed anything from the shop and would always make sure to get her birthday, Christmas cards and a box of chockeys, especially as she had no one else around her. shortly after living here we got a puppy who despite being the light of our lives I will admit is a little devil he's a barker and despite numerous trainers it's just something we deal with an intercept if he barks at people out the window he has separation anxiety so he's never left home alone to bark I feel this is where she started to resent us and is the beginning of everything over time she began to complain over every little detail I was once walking the dog and she was just outside her house and said, if that dog barks in the garden and makes my cat jump and die of a heart attack, I'll kill him.

41:34Now, this sounds like a miserable old lady having a moan, but not long after, we found food being thrown over our fence into our garden. We didn't have any CCTV footage, but you can place your bets on who did that. Now, for the biggest troublemaker, our tumble dryer. You heard that correctly. Our brand new Hotpoint condenser tumble dryer. you might be asking why a tumble dryer is such a big issue well i asked exactly the same question it started with her complaining that the tumble dryer was banging so i called the company back out and they admitted it was louder than usual and as a part had got bent in delivery which they fixed there and then from that point the tumble dryer has a hum to it and that's all this still didn't please the old bag so she would post clippings of google searches on how to minimise noise with a tumble dryer through our front door.

42:27Held me down in the street to moan about it and I would receive relentless calls and texts of her demanding it to be turned off. In the end, I told her to leave this alone and blocked her number. You would have thought she would have stopped there, but oh no. One day, I received numerous calls from a withheld number. When it got to 8pm and they were still calling, I decided to answer. That old lady was on the other end of the line explaining she was my local counsellor and there had been a complaint about our tumble dryer. She wanted to come and visit to listen to how loud it was as my neighbour moans about it to everyone.

43:02I agreed but once off the phone, something didn't sit right. The next morning I googled my local counsellor who was most definitely not elderly I decided to give her a call I explained the phone call I had received and she was shocked. She said they would never entertain a noise complaint from a tumble dryer and she was even more concerned about someone impersonating a counsellor. Funnily enough, I never heard from their elderly counsellor again. So a counsellor wouldn't come round to do it. This brings us to March 2025. I had just given birth to our first daughter. And yes, I must agree that through winter, I ragged the tumble dryer.

43:42From washing baby's clothes to dog blankets and bag sheets, I was in full nesting mode. My energy bill, my problem. Oh no, not just my problem. We received a letter from Environmental Health that our neighbour had issued a formal complaint regarding the noise of the tumble dryer. I immediately called them and went through all the details and they said they were waiting a logbook of dates and times from the neighbour before they could investigate further. Well, enough was enough. We hated the idea of wasting police time, but this neighbour had taken it one step too far. We did an online form and a police officer called us the same day and explained we had grounds for a harassment case they opened the case and we spoke to another officer who said they would be in contact with her to issue a warning which was done and must have done the trick as we had nothing more from environmental health until yesterday march 2026 a year later a phone call from the same environmental health officer explaining that they had received another complaint regarding the tumble trial this time with a log of usage.

44:45Now my first question to them was is the usage unreasonable? Confused as to how my household appliance should have limitations on when it's used especially as it's never used in the evenings or early mornings. She said it's not the times they're worried about but the length of use if it's continuously banging which it doesn't. She went through the next steps and said they could send two officers over one to her house and one to mine we'll turn it on and they'll deem whether it's a nuisance or not. The other option is they install sound equipment in her house and then decide if it's a nuisance after a week or two.

45:23After thinking about it, I thought, fuck her. I don't have to comply and have people over to my house. I politely declined and said they can proceed with the sound equipment. They can waste their time and money, but not mine. The lovely officer agreed and I explained, unless I have to, I won't be communicating with them again. Now today, I've received an email from the officer saying that she's spoken to her manager and the quickest way to resolve this is to have two officers come over. No mention of me declining this already and no mention of the sound equipment. My partner thinks we should just let them do it and get it sorted.

45:55But I just think, why? Why should we entertain it? After everything that neighbour has done, why should we go along with her silly complaint? I'm beyond shocked environmental health are even looking into it. God knows what she's told them about the noise. So my question is, what would you girls do? agree and just bury it or stay stubborn and let them take the long route thanks for advice, intrigued to your opinions do you think it's council housing then? Or can they demand to come into a private house?

46:22Anna Williamson:Yeah of course, if it's environmental if there's a noise complaint my route is always I'm just too busy and tired with bullshit so I would just say just let them come in do what they've got to do and get on with it because I think the prolonged agony because also there is part of possibly this woman god knows what's going on in her brain might be really loud in her house it might be but it also might be that she's got just such a bee in her bonnet it's the only thing that she's fixated on so in a weird way she sort of enjoys this yeah well if they just come over it and deal with it then she cannot any longer speak to you or deal with it because as you say you i i'm trusting you that this is not a loud noise and it is more a her issue than it is your orange.

47:02Anna Williamson:Now I can sort of relate. Sounds a bit neuro-spicy. Well maybe. It would annoy me to be fair. What if it was the time before I go? Yeah it would. But also but also there comes to a point depending on where you live you just got to you know compromise with your neighbours depending on where you live. I mean that is really what it comes down to. It comes down to we often talk about people that have babies that are crying and if you've got a house adjoining well you just can't do much about that. You know you've just got to sometimes suck it up buttercup. You know we're not all privileged enough you know in life unfortunately to make a different choice to be in a detached house.

47:33Anna Williamson:So sometimes we do just have to do it. I remember I was living in a flat when I had my first flat in London. I lived next door to someone who seems just like this old lady. And she had a massive... She owned kind of the whole house and I owned like the ground floor. I remember you telling me about this. Did I tell you about this? And it was about the Wi-Fi. Didn't she die? In the fire? Not that I know. Oh no, that was a totally different story. And no, that was awful and really sad. I don't think I ever talked about this. This was a sort of a real busybody nosy neighbour. And she had a thing in her head about the damage, the Wi-Fi, you know, the internet signals and phone signals and phone masks.

48:14Anna Williamson:Yeah, yeah. She had gone down some sort of rabbit hole of doom. Right. And she used to, I kid you not, walk around the streets wearing what could only be described as a beekeeper's outfit. Stop it. With a radiation free like netting around her hat. yeah well she was like for real well the my point to her was she used to often go and see a friend in devon and i did politely say to her one day maybe you should probably move out of zone one london and live in devon where it is a lot freer and you're not around 3 000 houses within within a 500 meter radius or with wi-fi she became so obsessed that she had a meter on the side of the wall for there were four flats we were not a radiation which could test where our router were and she'd keep coming round, politely, keep coming round saying, can you move your router away from that wall?

49:03Anna Williamson:And we were like, so we all entertained it politely thinking, bit of a mad old woman next door, but you know what, we'll be polite. And she owned the whole house. She owned the whole house. We owned, there were four flats that we all owned. We all got on. This ridiculousness continued for about 18 months with her then getting like lead walls put in on her house to stop the radiation. Please tell me she then like died of radiation. No, I don't know what happened to her. I actually sold the flat in the end. but it became ridiculous and I entertained it for quite a long time actually we all did and then it did come to the point where I was like this is ridiculous and this is a you problem and you either just need to move or accept that you live in zone one London and you're asking me and these other two people to move our fucking internet but you are as you said the wide radius it was completely ridiculous and preposterous so I do and then oh yeah there were people around we had like yeah whatever you call them around our mental health wanting to check and it's like we're just normal people living in a flat and I think to this lady's point here you've done the immediate courteous thing which is entertain it ask to review it it's clearly bollocks personally for me I'd get around and get it done get it done which is what we did I'd let them around what would you do let them around yeah I get wanting to be stubborn and be like why should I fucking give in but it'll only bother you in the end it's the quickest way to get it done it's only going to piss you off let us know please give us an update is your tumble dryer going to be deemed too noisy.

50:27Yeah. How noisy can it be? It might be, though, that there is something loose and rattling against it. I don't know. I mean, I'm very sensitive to noise.

50:37Anna Williamson:And a loud washing machine tumble dryer, as you say, it can be steep a lot. If it is moving and banging her wall or something, it might just be a case of she's got to move it five centimetres away from the wall. But also another thing is, like I say, unfortunately it does sometimes just come down to that's what happens living in close proximity I'm thinking the same flat I lived we actually had a situation with the basement flat that was underneath me now this was my fault because in my lease even though I owned the property and I owned the freehold but the leasehold said that nobody could put wooden floors into their flats for sound because it was an old property well I didn't read that part of the lease so I changed my flooring and I put wooden floors through well from downstairs they were like this sounds It was horrendous, like, you know, in heels as well.

51:21Anna Williamson:Clop, clop, clop, clop, clop. But again, he did the right. I went down, I had a little listen. I was like, that does sound awful. And I thought, I'm not going to get into an argument downstairs because it is, you know what? Yeah, I had to rip the flooring up and put carpet down because sometimes you just have to do that. So it might be in this case, maybe you do just have to fucking change your tumble dryer positioning as well. You know, if there is a six of one half dozen of another, sometimes you just have to do the right thing.

51:47Anna Williamson:Message from Anonymous next. So Annie Position. Hello, my lovely ladies. Right, newish listener here and fellow horsey gal. There you go, Lou. I found your part through Lou's Insta. Oh. The equestrian. There it is. Thank you. And I bloody love. Just a quick one, Lou. How are the horses? They're good. In doobs. They're in doobs. They're all being looked after nicely. They're going to fly back. Wonderful. In May. Lovely. They were always going to. Yeah, they were always going to fly back. Lovely. Excellent, excellent. So thank you for always making me laugh. Writing in with an extremely embarrassing story, unfortunately, about myself.

52:16Anna Williamson:Please keep me in on. Buckle in. so I used to be a sports coach and teaching assistant at a primary school we had a toilet in our classroom which I'm pretty sure was designed for children because the seats a bit grim toilet in the classroom quite often happens though in play groups and stuff it does if they're toilet training I'm 5 '9 for reference so there was a lot of squatting involved no other classrooms had toilets they had to trek down the corridor but we were the first room so everyone used ours every Friday I had break duty I'd eat early grab my high-pins that said on duty oh I'm with you go for a quick pre-duty poo because no teachers or kids are up their piece at last.

52:53Anna Williamson:Oh, yeah. And then head out. This particular Friday, I was busting. You know when you physically cannot stop letting out tiny farts? Lou can really relate. That's me. That level. I go back to the classroom and do what can only be described as a log. Giant. It was humongous. And remember, child-sized toilet. I flush. Nothing. Flush again. Nothing. The log is just there. I'm running out of time. So I slap an out of order, do not enter sign on the door and leg it to duty. On the way, I tell my teacher Bestie that the one who I'm a TA for, I've done a massive shit in our toilet. Please don't let anyone go in there.

53:31Anna Williamson:I'll be back in 20 minutes and we can discuss options. Let's get one of the kids' little like runes or something. She goes in to inspect. I come back after duty and she says, that is the biggest shit I've ever seen. It honestly looked like it carried on under the bend of the loo. It was architectural. The kids are walking into the classroom. Shit. We flush about 10 times. The water's turning questionable. The smell... Oh, no, it's going to stink. The smell is creeping out under the door. The kids are asking what the smell is. She's gassing out the kids. I'm spiralling. I cannot leave that for the cleaners.

54:09Anna Williamson:They will know it's me or her. Then my bestie says, use one of the kids. I was already there, guys. Use one of the kids' gammy rulers and chop it. At first I'm horrified. Then I realise she's a genius. Because my only other option was sticking my hand down there and after bleaching my arm off. So I chose the child that annoys us the most. Evil I know. That's so bad. I would do exactly this. I take her long ruler from her pencil case. Into the toilet I go, door locked. I cut my own shit in half with a kid's ruler. and it works. A bit annoying kid's ruler. What kid? They're like, okay, who do we like the least?

54:48Jemima. Who's the annoying little shit? Jemima, can I borrow your ruler? Yes, miss.

54:53Anna Williamson:This is what I say to my kids in life. She's like carving it in half. Always be careful. Never, ever treat people like crap because this happens. It works. Half the log flies away. Finally, it all disappears. Hurrah. But now I'm left holding a shitty ruler. And may I add, there is an actual shit still on the ruler. I asked my bestie what to do. She says, put it in the bin. Absolutely not. I'm not letting the cleaners find that. So I wrap it in about five plastic bags, shove it in my bag, and on the way out, a lot of skips. Why don't you just clean it and give it back to the kids? I thought we were going there.

55:23Anna Williamson:That's even worse. Is it? I would have washed it. I'm going to be a bit handsome. Yeah, I would have washed it and give it back to the kids. Bit of that kid's foamy. That kid's foamy. I had to go in Elle's toilet the other day. They love foamy soap, Maya. Yeah, that school toilet. Yeah, that foamy soap. Perfect, she says. Skipping the staff car park. I launched the bagged up shitty ruler into the skit for some poor skit man to eventually discover. Mortified. Think I never pooed at school again? Wrong. Monday lunchtime. Kids out. Lovely calm poo. Went down perfectly. Moral of the story. Always have a ruler nearby in case you need to cut the log.

55:56Anna Williamson:I've never told anyone this story apart from my teacher bestie and my ex-boyfriend out of pure embarrassment. But I feel like you ladies will appreciate the chaos. Lots of love. Anonymous. Shitty ruler girl. Brilliant. Brilliant. Do you have a poo stick? The poo stick. The great poo stick. I did buy you a chopper once. Did you buy me the poo chopper? Yeah. I've got the poo chopper. The blue one. Do you use it? Well, the builders found that when we were ripping out the toilets. And I saw they left it beautifully to one side. Stop. Yeah, I don't have the poo stick at the rental at the moment. You don't need it.

56:31Anna Williamson:Maybe your toilets are better there because it's new. I think the plumbing's better. So it sucks away. Do you know what? I've just realised. You haven't needed the poo stick. I've not needed the poo stick. Well, I don't know how I feel about this in the new glammy pad. You won't need it in the new glammy pad. Well, I'm going to get one anyway. I can't not have it. I mean, there are some things that I just can't leave. Just can't not leave without. And I'm going to, you know. Remember, if you want to get in touch, you can email us, Luanna at everythingluanna.com. You can also drop us a WhatsApp on 077.

57:00Oh, on 07521564640.

57:09Anna Williamson:Newsy Bits. Okay, so here we go. Now, I saw this during the rounds on Tut News and I thought this was fucking shocking. Gen Z males are twice as likely as baby boomers, so that's our parents' age, to believe that wives should obey husbands. How old is a Gen Z-er? I can't keep up. It's the youngest generation, so Imo's down. Oh, here you go. They're born 97 to 2012. So Dixie's a Gen Z. Yes. So almost a third of Generation Z men and boys think a wife should obey her husband. So, you know, the old traditional vows we've got, you know, that a lot of people chuck out these to love and obey a bit. But now, apparently, this survey is saying that a third of Gen Z boys think that a wife should obey her husband.

57:57Anna Williamson:This was a global survey of 23 ,000 people that were finding that young men are holding more traditional views about gender roles than the older generations, which I think is surprising and also shocking. Because I would say my parents' generation is pretty archaic with some of their views still. Do you know what I mean? But no, the research tells us different. It was across 29 countries, which included Great Britain, the US, Brazil, Australia and India. I'd be interested, is there a country by country breakdown? I think there was in the report. I'd be interested to see that country by country.

58:31Yeah, that is an interesting point.

58:32Anna Williamson:But this is, I guess, the sort of the average overview. So the annual research of these were over 16s. It was conducted by Ipsos and the Global Institute for Women's Leadership at King's College London. So it did reveal this stark difference in the beliefs of different generations of men when it came to gender roles. And now we can't go anywhere at the moment with hearing about gender roles, about toxic masculinity. I think that we just talk about this too much. Well, whether we do or we don't. Sometimes I feel like it's good opening the conversation about all this. And other times I just think we talk about it so much that we make things into a thing that aren't a thing.

59:09Yeah. You know? I don't know, but I'm actually surprised. Almost a quarter, 24%, of Gen Z males think women should not appear too independent or self-sufficient. I think that is because men are intimidated more and more by women. it is because we can do i'm sorry but women can do a lot more than men multitasking like literally we can do everything raise the kids do the jobs do the cleaning do the change the tires put the shelves up like women are i believe very capable just my opinion more capable than men of dealing with stress of dealing with pressure the emotional load of things i just feel like we're built better

59:46Anna Williamson:than men and i think we and i think men nowadays are very threatened by that but i think but i think because you're right in the sense that because that narrative now we've lent into that narrative and i i'm i'm in that as well it has lent to men thinking well what about us you know and i will say you know as a balanced opinion i do think that um it's brilliant you know that we are leaning so much now you know into our femininity equality and pushing back against so much this misogyny but i think as you say possibly what this creating now is the kickback from men going what we know well where do we fit into that i feel like yeah and it feels and it feels so like them and us now i never have i felt more concern raising a boy yeah than i do now because i hear things that enzo comes out with at the age of nine and i can hear he has obviously picked that up from somewhere which would fit into this narrative oh well even it's and it's the micro language of like oh well you're a girl you're only a girl you know it's that sort of language which is still populating boys from somewhere now you bloody well ain't getting it from my house far from it i'm the first but you can only protect them so exactly educate as best you can yeah yeah this is really interesting but there were some encouraging signs that support for gender equality remained strong such as in the agreement there should be more women in government but when comparable data was available it suggested views were becoming more traditional in 2019 42 percent of people globally said women's rights had gone far enough in their country compared with 52 percent now and in britain this equated to a 12 point increase i wonder if people includes men and women yeah uh so professor chung who um conducted this she is the director of global Institute for Women's Leadership.

1:01:40I'm the leader of research. She said that there, I think there are a lot of grievances, a lot of fear of men losing social positions. And there's a vacuum that's being filled with rhetoric and voices which are trying to pitch young men against gender equality, against young women, against migrants. I don't know why I should chuck migrants in there. The weird thing. We're talking about gender and women. Anyway, basically, Gen Z males have more traditional expectations of their own behaviour and choices. For example they believe, these Gen Z males, that they should not say I love you to their friends compared to 20 % of baby boomer men and 21 % of Gen Z women and then also 21 % of these males believe that men who took part in caregiving for children were less masculine.

1:02:25Oh that's so bullshit. That's crazy

1:02:28Anna Williamson:isn't it? That's so bullshit you know and I think that's one massive thing. It's like the Andrew Tate generation. Isn't it? Well this is it and I think to your point Lou of are we talking about it more and creating a problem or are we talking about it so much and these big influencers. We're having to tackle the problem. Exactly that having to tackle that issue and actually you know some of the shit that like Enzo listens to and watches you know he I would know I am like him on him like a hawk but it just takes that one person like for him one of his mates with a big brother that has heard something from someone like an Andrew Tate and it filters down.

1:03:07Anna Williamson:And that's where my son is getting the odd bit of language from. When I asked him about it, it was so-and-so's brother who is in a sick form over there. They don't have to directly be consuming content like Andrew Tate to then have those beliefs filter down. And that's where it's coming. And when I ask him about that, and he's saying it because he doesn't know any differently and because we don't actually really have that conversation in our household because it doesn't come up. and I think he's too young. But he's obviously not because I'm having to correct already just some of his language and beliefs around, oh, well, it's only a girl or something.

1:03:40Anna Williamson:Yeah, it is. Anyway, very interesting research there. It is. Interesting and sad. Very sad. Let's see what happens. Some good news now. Yes, this is amazing news. Now, medical science is amazing and this one is brilliant. The first baby has been born using a transplanted womb from a dead donor. So yeah, this is in the UK. Well, baby boy, first child in the UK to be born using a transplanted womb. The lady's name is Grace. She's in her 30s and she was born. This is the lady that actually gave birth. She was born without a viable womb. She said the little boy Hugo is simply a miracle. So her and her partner Steve, they're from Kent.

1:04:20Anna Williamson:They pay tribute to the kindness and selflessness of the donor and her family for their incredible gift whilst also thanking the medical teams in Oxford and London who supported their journey. It was a groundbreaking moment, said surgeons. Amazing. She was born with a condition called MRKH syndrome. I had someone at school, actually, that had this. How do you find out you've got that? Oh, because you don't have periods? Yes, that's right. And then they'll look into why you haven't started and they're like, oh, you've got ovaries but not a wee. That's right, that's right. It affects one in every 5 ,000 women in the UK.

1:04:52Anna Williamson:uh the first actually i thought first of all it was the person i went to school with just because it's the only time i've heard of it it wasn't um so yeah at 16 she knew she couldn't carry her own kids the only other option was to hope for a womb transplant or go down surrogacy but yeah she was offered it and that's crazy and there we go so someone obviously it's like any kind of organ transplant she had the op the op took 10 hours um and then they went down the ivf route uh followed by embryo transplant and she got pregnant with baby hugo and it was the um that's crazy it's just one of 10 transplants that have taken place as part of a trial actually in the uk but this is the first baby born in 2025 baby amy was built born also through the first living womb donation in the uk but her mother had received her older sister's womb in a transplant operation and her sister had already had two children.

1:05:49So it's... That was a living transplant. This is the first... Oh, look, Amy, baby Amy, was born at the same hospital as baby Hugo. Oh, I love it.

1:05:59Anna Williamson:I wonder if she... I'm assuming she had a caesarean. Could you birth naturally with a womb transplant? I wouldn't have thought so. Push that, Bubz? I wouldn't have thought so. Curious to know. Have you got a cervix? Well, I wonder if they put all of that in together at the same time. I'm curious to know. So there's more than 100 womb transplants have been performed around the world and 70 healthy babies have been born. Amazing. That's a really high success rate. I would donate my womb if I were to snuff it, if anyone needs this dusty old womb. Well, actually, womb transplant isn't the same as donating other organs.

1:06:35It's only allowed through a special request. So even if you choose, opt in to donate your organs, it's then like another extra bit on top.

1:06:44Anna Williamson:Is it? Yeah, that's crazy. I think organ donation is just so fantastic. It is amazing, isn't it? And I think with me and my body, when I snuff it, if you can use anything out of this old carcass to help a family and help a legacy, then take it all. Yeah, if anyone wants my dodgy bladder. Hey man, you hungry? Let's order delivery. Yeah, I was thinking... Italian. Burgers? Oh. Game night, just got tense. Two bros on different sides of the fence. Burgers or pasta tonight. Why can't we have food without the fact? With Wonder, you can combine 20 restaurants in one delivery, so no one has to settle.

1:07:30Use code MEALTIME for 50 % off your first Wonder order. Terms apply. See wonder.com slash new customer. Right, next up, it's time for It's the Widow of the Week.

1:07:41Anna Williamson:First up, anonymous. So Hayley Keyhole. Hayley Keyhole. Hayley Keyhole. Hayley Keyhole. I was going for Lee Keyhole. Lee Keyhole. Oh, hey. Hey, Lee Keyhole. Got it, got it, got it. Highly one, Imo and Bex. Says Bex. I'd like to be considered as a contender. Poor Bex. She's not even the coffer. Oh, is she coming in on a show? No, no. I'd like to be considered as a contender for Weirdo for the Week. Please keep me anonymous and give me your sauciest porn star name. Not quite that sauciest. Best demo could do. I gave birth to my son in April last year and to my delight succeeded in having the home birth of my dreams.

1:08:22Anna Williamson:Congratulations. I love this. My son entered the world via a birthing pool in our living room. Perfect. But as of any birth, there was a lot of red mess. My partner isn't the most tolerant of me. My water births were clear. Were they? Well, because I had the baby in the water. There's no blood when you have the baby. You only have the placenta. Did you do that after? Well, I didn't have it. I didn't give birth to the placenta in the pool. Did you do that after on a bed? Got out, yeah. Do you? I think one of them, they pulled it out. I think so. I don't know. In that hazy joy. Yeah. Thinking, what have I done?

1:08:58Anna Williamson:I'm joking. In a corner of the living room on my skirting board remains, ooh, ten months later, a sizable blood splatter, from that morning's events. I love looking at it, reminiscing and point blank refused to clean it off. Wow. It's my attachment to a bloodstain. Plain bloody weird. Yeah. I adore your podcast. Thanks for keeping me laughing every single week without a fail. Oh, it reminds her. She's got attached to her blood splatter. I don't think... Is it unhygienic? Well, I actually don't think it's weird. I think it's... It's unhygienic. It's not great. Clean the blood up. I mean, I'd clean it off.

1:09:28Anna Williamson:You don't want a bloodstain on your wall. No one needs that, especially if you're going to resell your house, bub. It's a bit grim. But I can imagine why you look at that and probably think, oh, because you've got nice fond memories attached to the bloodstain. Right, another one. We've got a non-so testicle. Okay, I have an is it weird for you, seeing as I can totally rate to the chemist Q lady with the addresses. Every night before I go to bed, I have to make sure my house is spotless, sofa cushions in order, bathhouse hung up, clothes in washing basket, kitchen clean, etc. Just in case I get murdered.

1:10:01and my house ends up on an episode of 24 hours in police custody or murder 24-7. Can't have anybody judging me whilst I'm dead. Well, I like my house to be really clean and tidy just because I'm a bit OCD, but I've never considered being murdered and my house being a TV show.

1:10:17Anna Williamson:Yeah, I mean, I couldn't care less if I was snuffed. I'm the same. I don't like to wake up to a shitty house. I don't like to wake up to chaos. It has to be just perfect. Tidy house, tidy mind. Yeah. I can't even leave clean washing up on the side drying. It's my biggest bugbear. Fold it, put it away. Is just, no, like if you leave a pan on the side to dry. Oh, yeah, that's your thing. Oh, I fucking hate it. I just feel like if you wash it up, dry it and put it away. Yeah. Don't leave it dripping on the side. Just clean work surfaces. And do you know what mine is actually? Oh, this is the thing.

1:10:53Anna Williamson:The actual bugbear, for me, it's the cushion. sorry the sofa it's got to be fluffed back up I don't want even a squidge of the throne cushion up and I'm like no no whoever got up smooth it back smooth it down Andrew will just sit on the sofa and dent the cushion and then get up and leave it that's what Alex does and I'm like just plump it give it a plump straighten it yes that's for me too I just can't live in mess no I'm lucky actually Andrew's not messy but he does have this weird habit of leaving like cupboards open. Alex is a bit scruffy, I think. And then leave it open and walk away. Does he?

1:11:32That's really annoying. Why have you done that?

1:11:35Anna Williamson:Alex is like, he's a piler. So he's not messy, but he's always got piles of things. I'm like, put a fucking pile in somewhere. What does an A do? Well, she doesn't put the washing away. She's still paying you. Oh, good point. She's never paid me. Oh, you need to get paid. I mean, we're both not great. I mean she's worse but I don't know but you're happy but we're happy but you're happy if it works it works because neither of us are that nitpicky about it oh I'm so nitpicky Andrew's worse than me I'm worse funny isn't it how you find your little person find your group and then like you're both happy being a bit messy we're sort of we're very anal my HRT our house is like a show house yeah yours is a show house my HRT's helped me be less really because it used to be actually probably I'd say one of the only sources of a bit of rattiness in our house.

1:12:25Anna Williamson:Because Alex is just like, I am cleaning it, just not the minute you've said it, because it's now. And I'm like, but it's really fucking me off now, and I can't sit down with that over there. He's like, I'm doing it in a minute. Now I've calmed down a little bit. Well, Andrew is so OCD, that say if I'm going to make a cup of tea, and I get my cup out, and then I'll walk, put my cup on the side, and then walk to get the tea bag, I'll come back, and the cup won't be there. That's how bad he is. That's strong. Although I have a weird thing, where like so say nays away like recently she went on hold down around so i had a week at home on my own and it's quite like rather be now actually and i'm fine and everything's like clean and tidy and i'll do the dishwasher and i'll do this get your own groove on your own and i'll put things away and i have literally no qualms about doing that but as soon as she's home i'm like well why should i be the one to do that so then i end up just not doing it yeah and then it gets worse because I'm in my head I just get the whole thing about well why should it be me but like if it was just me there I would do it so it's just a stupid mental thing chores wars I'm telling you it's a marriage killer well who's the weirdo for me it's the bloodstain yeah the bloodstain's pretty weird I can appreciate it but it's still weird you're not you're going to not have your mate round for a curry takeaway and see enough for your badge on the wall you know come on Babs get a wet wipe and clear it off yeah it's not great no not good well done on a good birth yeah well done so that's the one for this week please hello Jim right it is that time of the week where Ziss bags either rants or chills out what's it going to be this week just going to say this I know this is a bit like autistic of me that's fine you're autistic but seams in socks but I understand that socks have seams at like the top of the toe thing which does actually annoy me but recently I bought some socks and there is a seam in the sole like across the foot.

1:14:23Oh no. It's driven me to the point of insanity because I bought 10 pairs without realising. But also

1:14:30Anna Williamson:autistic people a seam and a sock clothing textures is one of the biggest like icks. It's like it's so bad and I bought 10 pairs. Oh no. Do you want to give them to me? I'll have them. Do you want them? I don't know if it bothers me or not. It's so annoying. What, like, down the middle? No, it's like that. Under the toe bits. White, white, because it looks like I've got a nappy on. It actually does. It's like a nappy. It actually does. No, it's like a cross. Like, where the toes join the foot. Across the width of the foot. Across the width. Across. Oh, no. Horizontal. Why would they do that? So annoying.

1:15:06They even shame this company immediately. I don't think it's just some cheapskate company in Dubai. Well, no. It's a hard bloody thing. It's really got me, okay? whoever invented those socks with the seam across the foot needs to go in the bin. Sometimes instead of ranting I'm going to do lose in the bin this week and it's the inventor of those fucking socks. Yeah. Why would you do that to me? Yeah. I felt personally attacked actually when I put that sock on. It's triggering. And then Clemmie went to me oh mummy it's because you and Indy don't like seams. It's a thing. Indy and I don't like seams.

1:15:41We have it in our house. Yeah.

1:15:42Anna Williamson:Seams are a thing. Anyway, it's really annoying and that's it. Going in the bin. That is it, guys. Don't worry. Of course, we're going to be back next Monday. You don't have to wait until then, though, because Thursday is your episode. It's Luana. Totally extra. We need you guys, you little beauties. Please send in your emails and everything you want to share to Luana at everythingluana.com. You can hop onto WhatsApp. You can send us a voice note or a message. What does it need to be, Imogen? Clear. Thank you. Concise. Indeed. Crystal. And please stop sending me voice notes. a thousand minutes long.

1:16:14When are we ever going to play a six minute long voicemail? Oh, fuck that.

1:16:17Anna Williamson:What's the typical time? 30 seconds is enough. 30 seconds is lovely. Unless it's juicy. I will stretch maybe to 1.45. If it's fairly decent. One minute, 45 seconds. If it's an exceptional anecdote. Yeah, but if you can keep it around the one minute mark, I would be grateful. You'll make the cut. And you might make the cut. The number to send that into is

1:16:4407521564640 We are now nailing that. We've nailed that. Nailing that. Make sure that you've followed the podcast. It's in the top right-hand corner. And on YouTube. If you're watching on YouTube, hello. Please subscribe now. Share the pod with a friend. If we've talked about something that you love, that you can relate to, send them your favourite clip, all of that jazz. Maybe some advice. Share the love. Maybe just the lols.

1:17:07Anna Williamson:Someone who's brightening up. little pick me up send it over send oh actually it's very simple on our socials as well click the shares off you go we're constantly sending each other all the time if anyone could see our DMs to each other it's dark some of it's dark it's just like real things that we wouldn't repost things that are probably a bit sailing close to the light Do you know the one I nearly sent you again last night? And then I sent it to you. I'm sure everyone's seen. Emma, have you seen this one? It's the woman. It was going around at New Year a couple of months ago. I think they're Scottish.

1:17:49Anna Williamson:She comes out of the house. So caught on a ring go. Comes out the house. Says, oh, babe. Walks towards the door. The car door pissed. Falls over. And shits herself. And he goes, I'm a prick. I mean, he speaks to her terribly. But in that moment, it's very amusing. It's the sound of her. It's just so horrible to her. We shouldn't laugh at things like that, but we do on DM. On DM we laugh at it. Anyway, listen, we will see you on Monday. Well, Thursday actually. Bye. Bye. Bye, guys. This has been a Global Player original production. Evening, buyer's remorse. Buy a new car? I'll be moving in. Let's get started.

1:18:37Uh, sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana. You what? Yeah, great price. I even have seven days to love it or return it. So there's no... No, no buyer's remorse. More like buyer's rejoice? Ugh, I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it. Buyer's rejoice. Buy your car today on Carvana. Limitations and exclusions may apply. See our seven-day return policy at Carvana.com.

1:18:59Anna Williamson:Hey man, you hungry? Let's order delivery. Yeah, I was thinking... Italian. Burgers? Oh. Game night just got tense. Two bros on different sides of the fence. Burgers or pasta tonight. Why can't we have food without the fire? With Wonder, you can combine 20 restaurants in one delivery, so no one has to settle. Use code MEALTIME for 50 % off your first Wonder order. Terms apply. See wonder.com slash new customer.