'Parents need to take responsibility!'

18:49Anna Williamson:Yeah, it is. And then go back when it's... That's what I keep telling myself. It's going to start getting too hot. But you like Bruce Forsyth, right? I've decided this. He's dead. Yeah, yeah. But he used to do six months in... I wish I could. In his hot months. I know. In the Caribbean or wherever he lived for a bit. And then did six months in the UK. If I didn't have these kids, fucking inconvenience, that would be perfect. Andrew and I said it like yesterday. Six months, six months. And I was like, it would be so good to just do Dubai from like October to May. Oh, yeah. Because it's like May, maybe April.

19:18Yeah. And then come here like, April to the end of September. We've got their fucking children that we've decided to breed. And then I just can't do this homeschooling bullshit. No. It's not for me. I don't know how these parents do it. I can't do it.

19:32Anna Williamson:I just can't. I will admit I cannot do that. I can't. No. It's a hard one. I'm in awe of parents that do it. I legit am. My kids don't listen to me. I don't know how they like their children that much. But it's just the arguments. I just don't want to do the arguments. But anyway, going back to tonight. So Avenue Q, this hasn't been in the West End for donkers years. It is honestly one of my favourite musicals. And I decided to take Lou on a date night. So we're going to watch it. Lou, do you know anything about Avenue Q? No. So it's basically, have you seen it, Em? I've not seen it, but I know about it.

20:06Anna Williamson:It's like dirty, filthy, non-PC Sesame Street. Anna said there's a song called I'm a Little Bit Racist and that's why she's taken me, which I think is very rude of her. It's a little bit racist sometimes.

20:23Anna Williamson:Also, I'd like to point out, Lou is not racist, by the way. I just like doing accents, which is stereotypical. There's a song about porn in there. Oh! I mean, I think it's giving. So looking forward to having you keen a little bit of a Lou Anna date.

20:42Anna Williamson:Hey, I'm Vogue Williams. And I'm Amber Wilson. And you know what? Without sounding big head, I think you'd love our podcast Vogue and Amber, where we chat through all the top stories of the week. We play a few games, sort out your listener dilemmas and we laugh. We laugh a lot, mainly at each other. Open our free global player app and search Vogue and Amber to start listening today.

21:07Anna Williamson:Guys, actually, just before we move on, I've got a gift for you guys. Oh, OK. Okay, Imo, you're not here in person, so I'm going to have to give this to you when we do. But I've actually bought this with my own money. Really? Yeah, I just went a bit rogue. You've not been a blagger? Not been a blagger on this one for once. Well, I mean, I didn't spend a lot of money. But you know how I was listening back to some of our old episodes. You guys can go back and listen to one episodes too. Were you? Were you doing that? I don't like the sound of my own voice. Well, sometimes I... I don't know how people listen to me rub it on on this podcast, to be quite honest.

21:40Anna Williamson:Well, I hate my voice. voice and so I can only apologise. Clearly not sick enough, she's going and listening back guys. I'm allowed to give myself constructive criticism and that's a load of bullshit. However, it was off the back of, we were having a chat about sex toys and I think it was one of your exes nicked one of your sex toys and didn't give them back. Yeah. And then we went into a bit of a conversation around. Have you bought me the lemon? No. Oh, I want the lemon. Have you heard of the lemon? Emma, you must have heard of the lemon. I've not actually heard of the lemon. The lemon, I saw them talking about it on our Luanna Facebook group.

22:12Oh, what's the lemon? By the way, shout out to those on our Facebook. Can I just say, I had a run on our Facebook group and none of Team Luana even mentioned it to me. You all just let me have that outlet. Sometimes she needs it. You all let me have that run and that outlet and nobody mentioned it and I was really proud of all of you because I know that you've all seen it and you've probably discussed it offline. No. Bex? I haven't. I haven't discussed it. I was so impressed with you all. No one deleted it. You all just let me call everyone a c*** on that group and basically just have my angry outlet.

22:48Well, they had told you that some people had been dog shaming you. And that was in my upset dog era. Just don't be a dick on our Facebook group, guys. I know. Do you know why? There's not many dicks on there anymore. Good, because we love you all. Do you know why? You told them all off. Every time I see someone on that group, if I don't like what they say, I fucking ban them and I delete them. Fair. And I don't even say anything and I just think, ah, next time you go to come on there. And do you know what it is? It's always the people that have commented the most things and I think, that's going to hurt you, you bitch.

23:21And I just block and delete them like some kind of Kim Jong-un character and I absolutely love it. And it gives me such satisfaction. That's my petty poly of the week, actually. And I feel like it's my group. you ****.

23:38Anna Williamson:Well, yeah. And I've got the power. And I sing that song in my head. I've got the power. I've got the power. Block, delete, ban. Bye-bye. Go on, Bex. Sorry. Go on. I've also given Alex power. Hold on. Hang on. Can we get her on her mic if she's going to be talking, please? I've also given Alex power, so there's more of us with the power now. Oh, there's more of you with the power. There's more of us with the power. But also, can I just say, always me wanting to be balanced. Thank you to everyone who is really bloody lovely on our Facebook group, which is the vast majority. Look, when you get a group of 50 ,000 people, you're always going to have a section of people that are there just to abuse it, to be a bit of a dick.

24:18Anna Williamson:The majority of you are bloody brilliant and we know that you love the community and what you get from it, which is why it is still up and it's still staying there because so many, it would be such a shame to ruin it. I actually got overruled. Well, I just think it's... I wanted to delete the group. I know you did, you did. But that's fair, why you did at the time. As you say, why sit there and have people slag you off on a group that we own, which is in our name. I fucking own it! Exactly. But, on that notion, so many of you, it would be, I always think it's such a shame to penalise the majority who are brilliant and who love it and value it.

24:48Anna Williamson:So what we are doing then is making a point of the minority who don't listen to the pod, who are on there just to cause trouble, you're gone. So we're going to keep it a nice, lovely place, guys. So there you go. Anyway, shall we go back to sex toys? Yeah. So I went on Love Honey. Not an ad, not a spawn. Spent my own money on this. Really? Do you remember what we were talking about? Here's the clue. We were talking about a particular type of sex toy that we were all quite interested in. A pussy pump. Right, there she is. Yeah, because I used... Wow. I have bought you, Louisa Zisman, you, Rebecca, a pussy pump.

25:24Anna Williamson:Wow, you smashed up. And I have bought Emojin... Look how exciting. Emo, now you've got to that bitch tripped you up and broken your ankle, aren't you? You could have been pussy pumping with that broken ankle right there. Emojin, that's yours as well. Why don't we post it to Emma? We could. I've got you your own pussy pumps. We could bring it to London later. Send Nae to meet us. Yeah. So if you would all like to try it at some point, we could do... Shall I just try it right now? If you want. We could... Oh, that reminds me of that. We could do when I lose Amazon reviews. No, that reminds me of that clit gel.

25:55Anna Williamson:Oh, that clit gel. Oh, that nearly burnt mine off. That was bad. Honestly, I've gone through a terrible birth as it was. That was before the Bex era. Oh, my God. So, yeah, pussy. I won't open it in. I am. But that's yours, Imogen. Did you get one for yourself or not? Yeah, it's at home. And have you used it yet? No, not yet, no. Only because the kids keep poking around in the box. Do you know what? My Alex saw these on the kitchen worktop and he was like... Is he all excited? He went, uh... He's like... Actually, the first thing he said was, uh, I can only assume that's Luanna. Oh, I'm trying to vigorously get into my mind.

26:26Anna Williamson:So, yeah, I don't know what these pussy pumps do, but it says here, courtesy of Love Honey, discover a happier you. Well, we'd all like to have a happier us, wouldn't we? We are the sexual happiness people and we're proud to make a fun, fulfilling sex life available to everyone. Here we go. It's fantastic. Oh no, that's just Love Honey's thing. So the Love Honey Supreme Sensation Pussy Pump will give you an N gorgeous... N gorgeous, as in N gorgeous, you're the flat. Nice. Full love lips for super sensitivity. Get sucked into a world of new sensations as the clear cup creates a vacuum over your lady parts and leads to a pumped up pleasure.

27:03Anna Williamson:so here we go the ergonomic pump chamber fits perfectly over your lips enabling suction on your clitoris and labia so here we go it's an intrepid explorer experience heightened sensations as the pump's suction increases blood flow to your sweet spots so Love Honey should have fucking paid us for this actually this is worth a lot of money Love Honey if you're watching well I don't know this could almost segue into my rec-o-sec-o but no one's tried it yet so we will reserve that don't worry I'm about to Louie's actually opening Is it like a proper like, oh my God. Yeah, it's a hand pump. But if you, if you, oh, oh.

27:39Anna Williamson:Stick it on, stick it on. Should I do it on my thigh? Yeah, do it there. I wouldn't put it on your face because it'll make like, I love that. One of those bruised things. Hang on, she's actually taking her trousers down. If you're not watching YouTube, you really want to watch this. Right, try and get it over that bit. Stick it on your actual nose, go on. Oh my gosh. She's suctioning up her thigh. Oh my gosh. Oh, it's so tight. Oh, my gosh. Your thigh. I can't suck it anymore. Oh, my God. Bex, can you see that? Oh, gosh. How does it feel, Lou? Look at it. Can I just say her whole thigh is being pumped up like a bread roll.

28:15Anna Williamson:Oh, are you getting off on that? No, it's really tight. I can't pump it anymore. Imagine that on the nun.

28:25Anna Williamson:Oh.

28:29Anna Williamson:Wow. I probably should have worn nicer knickers. Well, there you go. You're welcome, girls. Look at that. There you go. Whoa. Imagine what that's going to feel like on the actual note. Whoa, and then if you leave it on there. Yeah. Oh, funny noise. I think it just all like the blood goes to that area. Yeah. Be careful you don't give yourself like a giant like bruise love bite thing on your leg. It's going to be like a. Andrew will be like, what's that? What's that on your leg? I've been pussy pumping my leg, bitch. Get Andrew to use that on you later. It's like when people get those suction cup massage.

29:03Anna Williamson:Oh, and then you press. Oh, this is good, right? Is there a release button? Yes. Look, ready? Pump, pump, pump. I mean, look at that. It's going up. And then this is the release. It's got a release button. Well, we all know what we're going to be doing tonight. Exactly. So there you go, girls. You're welcome. Right. Shall we move on? Oh, the cough's back. Oh, the cough is back. Well, how many times have I coughed? A few. Have I actually? I think you've got into like a weird habit. I think it's a nervous habit. Some weirdo. Some nervous habit. You've got like, you know, like a twitch. Like a tick.

29:40Yes. You've got coughed Tourette's. I've got coughed Tourette's. Oh, talking about ailments, you've got coughed Tourette's. I can't get this pussy pump back in the box. Imo has got a broken ankle. I've got finger cancer. Oh, okay. It's a new one. Yeah. Talk us through that then. Seriously. All right, go on. Feel my finger. feel the base of this index finger right go right down at the base can you feel oh what is that there's a little lumpy root I've got finger cancer what is that

30:09Anna Williamson:or have you just disclosed your finger I think I've broken my finger have you been mucking out or something a bit too hard been fingering yourself a bit too big feel it again there does it hurt though oh there is a lump there yeah I've got finger cancer go to the doctor please go to the doggie so I don't know what I'm going to do can I also just do a little shout out talking of docs one of my biggest perks about doing Luana the podcast and having our vast listenership is having my direct access to my own personal GPs through fans last night shout out to Dr Charlotte that poor woman I bet she never DM'd you all those years ago are you on WhatsApp to her yet actually I don't know if I am Charlotte give your number I had to just check something with her You know when you get these things like, you know, if you're taking a certain supplement or something, you want to just check with your GP if it's compatible with some of the HRT.

31:02Anna Williamson:I fucking take anything. You just take it. But I did actually go to read my GPS there. I thought, oh, no, hang on a minute. Won't bother them. I'll bother some random doctor that I've met on Instagram. Brilliant. I consider us firm friends now. And then I was stuck in the queue for a bit because it wasn't like non-urgent hours and stuff. And then I thought, what am I doing? Why am I sitting in this queue? I don't even need 111 anymore. I'm just going to DM Dr Charlotte straight away bingo baby she's in clinic messages me back with all the info I need she's not busy then yeah well I think she's just a very nice woman it is good the access though I've got my there you go come on I've got lawyer poly there you go perks of the pod how is that going it's a new segment perks of the pod mine is ailments why have you got lawyer poly I had lawyer poly after house move gate.

31:54Do you remember? When they shut your keys in your... Yeah, the whole key thing and all that shenanigan. Anyway, it's over now. Oh, what was the outcome? We ended up settling for the cause.

32:07Anna Williamson:So Lawyer Polly was good? Lawyer Polly was really good. Lawyer Polly could not have been better. At the end of the day, we just got fucking tired of it dragging on and on and on and we settled. You do. You do. What an easy life in the end. Well, delighted about that.

32:29Anna Williamson:It's time for... It's the recosirco, the recosirco, it's the recosirco. Dun, dun, dun. Okay, who wants to go first? Oh, I'll go first. Go on. Now, I have been influenced a lot recently with viral trends. Oh. Yes. Go on. And so what I've decided... Bex is grinning and laughing at this. No, because Bex is like, yeah, you go, girl. I basically have been the influencer testing the influencers. So. I've been really enjoying your content recently. I have been purchasing with my own money, so it's like neutral reviews. Love that. The viral trends that other influencers have been posting about. Oh, I saw you do the lip stain one.

33:17It's so good.

33:18Anna Williamson:I've got it on today. Have you? Yeah. Love that. You are actually... The lip stain's good. Would you identify as an influencer? You probably wouldn't, but you like are, aren't you? I wouldn't, but I am. But you are a very trusted influencer because you are such a noble shitter. I only do things that I like. Exactly. Well, ditto. And that I actually would use. Like, I'm not a sellout. No. And actually, do you know what? We're both like that. And people sometimes ask me that. And genuinely, we turn down a lot of stuff because I'm like, I can't consciously get people to spend money on shit. I can't either.

33:46Anna Williamson:But what comes with that is that if we do recommend something, we do genuinely like it. So anyway, so I bought, kept seeing it. Bex actually told me about these. It's a brand called MediCube. Now, I've now have purchased quite a few things from this brand. But the best thing are these face masks. They're called a PDRN collagen mask. We'll link these in our Luana stories, guys. And also, if you go to my profile, they are in my Amazon storefront. But they are amazing. Now, I've got a new ritual. self-care Sunday and every Sunday I now have all these little products that I've bought and what one of these products well should I talk you through my whole thing yeah I have a shower I do a hair mask then I put hair oil in and then I use my lock a tan body oil so nice my skin is like super like not scaly anymore and then I get out the shower and then I use the lock lock a tan or however you say it, body oil.

34:47And then I cleanse, I tone. And then I put on this PDRN collagen face mask. Now it goes on pink. And then I sleep in it overnight. And you wake up in the morning and it's gone clear. And you peel it off and your skin is like glass. It's amazing.

35:05Anna Williamson:I have to admit, your face does look really good. I've been really like doing a lot of it. And actually, to be fair to the viral influencers, mainly on TikTok, fucking good shit they're recommending yeah so I keep buying it and thinking right I'll test this you get four in a pack so it's a month's worth and every Sunday I sleep in a face mask I'd really recommend it they're actually amazing the MediCube face masks they are really good and someone on TikTok and then I got a bit worried someone was like I did the MediCube viral face mask and it like made me red and itchy and I was like shit and I thought I'm still going to do it because I do have quite sensitive skin to get eczema and stuff on my face and I've been fine with it.

35:47I think you're great. And it's been so good. And they do, like, a lot of other products. But I'll save them for the Reco Seccos over the next few weeks. But the face masks are my favourite thing. Do you want some? I've got some upstairs. Yes, please. I'll only give you one. I'd like to try one. But you can try one. Thank you, babe. Could I have another tissue, please? And you'd want to. Well, he ripped up my tissue.

36:07Anna Williamson:Also, can I just say, Crumble, about three seconds ago, was dry humping his bean bag. He's calmed down now. I know, I don't know whether to chop his balls off. But he's so small and his balls are so small. I feel like I don't want to chop his balls off. Leave him with his balls. Have you chopped Norm's balls off? Yes, we have chopped Norm's balls off. That's so mean. Just because you're a two mum family, you're like demasculating your dog now. Eye roll, eye roll. You've made your dog asexual. No, if anything, he's probably homosexual because he's into the male dogs more than the female dogs but i mean part of me wishes we had bred him because loads of people like if norm had had puppies we want them because he's just like the best temperament dog ever but he is a good yeah he's a good but also that temperament might be as a cause of not having those balls either well i think it is sometimes because someone said to me if he is a bit barky oh yeah it's not really that barky he did bark a lot at alex you might want to consider it.

37:11Someone said it would make him less barky. But Crumble, do you want your balls?

37:16Anna Williamson:Do you like your balls? You do like your balls. Oh, look at his little face. Right, moving on. Ims, what's your reco? My reco is, I know we sometimes don't like doing this, but it's a podcast. Sorry, guys. But again, for listening to this podcast. We'll share the love in our industry. Yeah. So, you know, a few weeks ago, I recommended a podcast called Beth's Dead. Yeah, I meant to listen to it. Well, I was inundated with people saying thank you for the record. So everyone, you are very welcome. This is another one. It's called The Birth Keepers. It's a series by The Guardian. It's really interesting.

37:54Anna Williamson:So it's about this. Bit left for me. It's about these people in the States and they call themselves the Free Birth Society. And basically. Or they give birth in the sea. no but basically it started with this one woman who was kind of a doula but she was never a midwife she's never a qualified midwife she kind of a self-proclaimed midwife but she wasn't trained as a midwife medically and uh she basically started up this thing to try and empower women to give birth without any medical intervention she should be arrested and it became this whole big thing called the Free Birth Society huge huge thing in America like popped off she was huge she had a popular like popped off popular like she's amazing yeah yeah yeah Americans are wild aren't they loads of people were on board there were words like cult flowing around in the kind of contra of it um but basically the documentary looks into it and then obvious well not obviously but some people might say obviously there started being issues when women would listen to her go through it not have any medical information intervention be home birthing free birthing at home and things would go wrong that's on the rise here actually in the uk as well and it's yeah and And I was speaking to my cousin about it, and she's a midwife, and she's like, we're well aware of what's going on.

39:26Anna Williamson:Yeah, exactly. My midwife friends are saying the same thing. Because of this parliament thing I'm doing, my midwife friends have said the same thing. Free birthing is becoming a bit of a trend. It's all well and good. And I get the theory, like, well, we're women. We're designed to give birth. Our bodies are made to do this. What do the women in Africa do? They're just, like, in the field, and then they pop it out, and then they tie it to their back. Like, I get that. But what you then don't see is that the fucking women in Africa giving birth in a field are dying and their babies are dying too.

39:55And like, it's not that easy to give birth. And I say that as someone that gave birth without any medical intervention at all with two of my babies. So it's not that I'm against that, but I am against it.

40:11Anna Williamson:If it's negligence. So it's called The Birth Keepers, right? It's called The Birth Keepers. The podcast is called The Birth Keepers. Right. and that's kind of what they call themselves because they're not legally allowed to call themselves midwives right and yeah it's really really interesting and it's kind of like an investigation into it obviously since then the people that it's about have come out saying this is slander and rubbish and a load of crap oh so we need to listen before it gets taken down i really want to listen to this i think you should listen to it and then maybe we should discuss it yes a whole topic.

40:44Anna Williamson:How many episodes am I going to have to listen to? Because you know it's difficult for me. Longer, but it's I think it would entice you. No, let's do this because I am going to be boring you all to death over the next couple of years about this maternity intervention parliament thing. So we may as well get on board guys. How did you get on board with this maternity thing? Just through Involved yourself. It's six episodes. Okay. That's alright, you can do that. I can do that. you can do that fine i'll do it when i walk crumb so the birth how long per episode it probably just under an hour i think do that on times five times oh yeah yeah great okay um so we've got um a beauty mask we've got a podcast yeah um and then my recoseco for the week uh is a prog a program uh i've already recommended this to you uh i binged it last did you watch it oh my at crazy right I've also watched it have you also watched it okay I've done it so guys you may have done this it's on Netflix it came straight up of on my number one it is I think it's trust me the false prophet so the a couple of years ago there was did you watch the first documentary on Warren Jeffs eat sweet pray eat sweet no keep sweet pray and obey on Warren Jeffs so it's all about also on Netflix yeah so it's all about obviously this extreme extreme Latter-day Saint, Mormon, FLDS cult.

42:11Anna Williamson:Warren Jeffs, who's in jail, who was the original kind of prophet in inverted commas. Self-proclaimed. Self-proclaimed, exactly. I might just start telling people I'm a prophet. Well, I was going to say. This one is kind of a follow-up on someone that kind of jumped into his shoes, Sam Bateman. It's a four-passer, I think. Samuel. What's your name? Samuel. Samuel Bateman. And? Samuel. Samuel. So it's another cult sort of offshoot of the same thing. It's wild. It's all about the wives. It goes into this whole massive... Had like 26 wives. Yeah, uncovering... Some underage. Some underage. We don't want to spoil it in case you haven't seen it.

42:52Anna Williamson:The whole thing is shocking. But what I think is an interesting lens about this one is it's done through the lens of a couple who were nothing to do with FLDS but moved there. Not even like the police or anything. No, and she and him, what's her name? It's Christine and Tolga, husband and wife. She is someone that used to be in a cult like that and now wanted to really kind of do an expose, an undercover expose to try and save the women. And she infiltrated the cult. So it's done through her lens and then you will see what unfolds. It's a little bit dark, it's a little bit disturbing. But yeah, what did you think?

43:29Anna Williamson:Just like, it's a watch, isn't it? Yeah, it's a watch. It's terribly sad. I mean, we obviously watch it from the sofa and it's like jaw dropping, but that's actually people's lives. Like, it's horrific. The coercive control is shocking. I just don't understand how one person can be that influential. I said to Andrew, Andrew and I watched it together last night and I was like, are they like really thick, the women? Are they just so sheltered? It's complete. Have they just been so sheltered their whole life that they don't question anything? Because they have no external lens. There's no external lens.

44:06It's all brainwashing. And it's just from such a young age, they've been so brainwashed, they don't question anything. Because you don't know there is anything else. Yeah. And that is where it comes from. They don't know there's life out there.

44:18Anna Williamson:It's absolutely wild. I don't want to spoil it, but it's quite, in the last episode. And he's a fucking loser. I'm sorry. The guy is just the most insecure, sick fuck ever. Pedo. But we were talking about this. I don't even know if he's a pedo in the sense that, sorry, Emma, that we would say like, oh, that pedo is like a predator pedo. I think for him, it's more about controlling and manipulating whoever he can. Oh, yeah. Because some of the wives were like nine and one of them had like grey hair. I don't think he cared who it was or what age they were as long as they were like idolising, fawning.

44:59Like, it's just wild. Anyway, sorry, Emma, I totally interrupted you.

45:02Anna Williamson:We were talking about this and part of me was, we were like, is it that it's really hard because I have never been very religious at all. Yeah, me neither. So it's very hard for me to understand how that can affect your life so heavily. But at the same time, I'm like, does he truly believe because of his, because he was religious, he was brought up really religious, blah, blah, blah. does he truly believe that he is a prophet and that he is being spoken to by God and therefore he's allowed to do this or is it is it manipulated is it more I'm going to be manipulative and use the God thing as an excuse like I don't know where that line is and I think I think the answer to that will never be discovered but I think I think that's a really interesting I think he's obviously like sick in the head and maybe to like justify in his brain like these weird dark thoughts he thinks it's God talking to him watch it see what you think we'd love you to live in stuff like that puts me off religion even more it is a strange one you know because I am I do have faith and it does make me I am faith I've had a religious upbringing but I wouldn't say an extremist one Andrew, right.

46:26And Andrew's Catholic and Bible bashing and all that stuff. And the thing is, I just think, how do you go from living a normal life like you do, but believing in a higher power, I suppose, is God or is Allah for some people. To taking it to extremism. To taking it to that. And I just, that's what doesn't sit well with me as a religion. I don't like things that make you feel guilty for who you are, how you feel and how you want to be. That's a fair point. That's a fair point. That's what I don't like. I don't like this thing of like, oh, I shouldn't do this because of like this fear of like a higher power type thing.

47:02I'm just not into that. Because it can possibly come across as control.

47:07Anna Williamson:Well, it is. So I'm with you. And I think this is why religion is always such a contentious debate, isn't it? But I think on the other side of it, it's for people that do have a faith and find comfort in that or belonging or whatever they get from it. I think when we get these extremist versions of it it then stigmatises religion and faith that everyone's just a bit of a weirdo do you know what I mean? But why do they get such comfort in it? Because they're lacking something in their everyday life that's what I believe I feel like they're lacking Or anyone that has a faith? They're just looking for something else they're not fulfilled that's what I think I don't feel like I'm lacking anything.

47:54Anna Williamson:I guess for me. No, I think, yeah, I was a lot lacking. Do you know what? I find it a very private part of my life. And it isn't something I discuss because I don't think it sort of needs it. But I think probably like to your point with Andrew, to me, I think maybe it's just the way we've been brought up. Yeah. And I'm comfortable with that belief. I think a lot of it is upbringing. Yeah. And then you just accepting of that because that's what you were brought up believing. I think it gives and then again though you've never questioned it because oh I have questioned it I definitely yeah I definitely because I I always think that if you're brought up with it it's just like you accept that as a part of your life oh I definitely went through my teenagehood and was like that's a load of old crap and then definitely yeah and then it sort of was something that I yeah got back into again in my 20s but when I say got back into I mean I wouldn't say I live my whole life you know according to a bible or anything I think for me and for a lot of people, it just creates, I guess, a bit of a moral framework.

48:54Anna Williamson:It's probably at its lowest level.

49:00We've got a message from Linny. She says, hello, I'm listening to today's episode and I need to give you my take on bipolar.

49:07Anna Williamson:Oh, go on. I would just like to let you know that when my friend, who is the most polite person you could ever meet, was diagnosed with bipolar, and she genuinely believed she was Jesus and was in a psychiatric unit, Whilst in there, she was being awful, even using the N-word, and her husband is black, calling the staff cunts, told everyone she was Jesus and everyone must obey her. Sounds like the dude. I was going to say. Was spitting at people, was honestly horrific. She remembers nothing of that three-month stint when she was in the psychiatric unit. And before this, she also went on a massive spending spree and just absolutely bizarre behaviour.

49:45and again does not remember any of this. It was a really terrible time for her family and for all of her friends and at one point we didn't know if she would actually make it out of the psychiatric unit. I do absolutely believe that Kanye could have lost the plot and this Nazi stuff was just very, very odd behaviour and he probably doesn't actually remember doing these things because he was having a manic episode. Just thought I'd educate you a little on how bipolar can work. Love, Linny.

50:11Anna Williamson:Yeah, in response to obviously our news story from last week around Wireless Festival being cancelled and Kanye being denied entry. Really interesting take. Yeah, yeah. Message from Hannah. Hi, Luanamo. I listen to you girls all the time. Thank you, babe. And the advice you give to others often brings so much comfort and clarity. Well, thank you. That's kind. I'm hoping you can do the same for me. It is quite lengthy, so settle in, peeps. Almost two years ago, I moved to New Zealand from the UK with my wife of almost 14 years. It had been a dream for many years, but the timing never felt right until January of 2024.

50:42Anna Williamson:I have a daughter from a previous relationship who was almost 19 and my wife has brought her up since she was four years old. Our main reason for not moving away sooner was because we didn't want to take my daughter away from her dad and wanted to allow her the choice to move with us when she was older. In January 2024 my wife returned from a month-long trip seeing family in New Zealand and was so enthralled with the place that we started to seriously look into moving there. As I'm a nurse our entry into the country was pretty much a given and the decision was made to go. We spoke at length to my daughter about this and she had agreed to move with us.

51:12Anna Williamson:However during the process she changed her mind as she didn't want to leave her dad, family and friends. By this time we had put the house on the market with an offer pending. I had got a job secured in New Zealand and employment resignations were handed in for my wife and I. In July 24 we left the UK and the plan was for my daughter then 17 to live with her dad. However she decided to live with my mum instead. Although it broke my heart to leave her I knew she would be safe and well cared for we flew her over to us in september that year hoping she would see what a great life she could have and she didn't allow her to enjoy it and she didn't allow herself to enjoy it because she had a new boyfriend and she wanted to go home to him she left after a month and immediately got pregnant by him her relationship with him was awful and abusive so she made the brave decision to leave him and be a single mother in january 25 my wife and i offered her to come and live with us and raise the baby here she agreed so all plans were put in motion and i even got her a midwife and an immigration appointment in New Zealand for her visa.

52:04Anna Williamson:I flew back to get her and three days after my arrival, she changed her mind again and decided to not come to New Zealand. So I set her up with everything she needed for the baby to make sure she didn't struggle and flew home to New Zealand without her. I was devastated. I had my daughter at 17, so I knew how hard it was going to be for her and I just wanted to support her. That is really hard, actually. So hard. I think so far away. My beautiful granddaughter was born in June 25, five weeks early, and I flew back to the UK to meet her. I mean, there's a lot of air miles going on there in July.

52:31Anna Williamson:I was there for two weeks and it was awful. So I ended up coming home five days early. Oh, my daughter made terrible comments about me. Didn't want me to spend more than a couple of hours with me and just made my whole life, whole time there miserable. I loved being with my granddaughter, but honestly, it was terrible. I have no relationship with any of my family besides my younger sister, even my mother who she lives with. So I truly was only there for my girls and she just didn't care. I felt so lonely and isolated and just wanted to be back in New Zealand where I am loved and appreciated by my wife since moving here my wife and I have built an amazing life bought a home made new friends and are fully embracing everything New Zealand has to offer however sometimes it's difficult to enjoy it because I'm wracked with mum guilt all the bloody time I feel terrible being away from my daughter and her baby and often have thoughts of whether I should move back despite knowing 100 % that I do not want to live there and my wife would definitely not move back with me my daughter says I left her in the UK or that I'm choosing my wife over her and it just piles on the pressure in my heart I know I have given everything I possibly could to my daughter emotionally physically and financially but just feels so shit most of the time am I in the wrong for living a life that I love a life that I deserve and a life I work bloody hard to get how can I repair my relationship with my daughter so we can both live the lives we want without feelings of guilt and grief being thrown at each other please help my love Hannah oh this is so tricky but you know I I will say your daughter is an adult, basically.

53:53She's decided to have a child at 17 and she needs to live that life and you can live your life. I really don't sign up to this thing that you're like, you know, you have to parent your children forever. And I was so independent. I had my first full time job at 17. The daughter's not 17.

54:12Anna Williamson:I thought it said she was 17 when the daughter who's almost the daughter's almost 19. She had her daughter at 17. Oh, but she left her when she was 17 in New Zealand. She left her, yeah. Yeah, okay. So she's even older then. I just think she's chosen her life to have a child and do that in England. And you deserve a life. Like, what are you meant to do? Not live your life because your adult child is throwing her toys out the pram. I'm sort of along those lines. I think to your point there, Lou. I mean, yeah, she's young, but she's an adult. and she's an adult she's a mother she's decided to have a child well i think that's the thing i think your daughter has made those choices for herself she wanted to have a baby or she had got pregnant decided to have her baby um so yes she is then living her own choices of which then you shouldn't have to mold your life depending on her choices what i would say my honest opinion is i think two truths can exist in this one in that sometimes you probably repair yeah I think she obviously does feel a bit my mum's literally the other side of the world living her new best life and I'm over here which maybe plays in in her moments of vulnerability we all know what it's like having a baby it is really hard she obviously has family there I'm curious to know my therapist head says I'm really curious to know what that dynamic is where there is some relationship breakdown between you and the other family members.

55:41Anna Williamson:She obviously doesn't talk to her mum. So I'm wondering if any of those influences have also gone into your daughter where it's throwing shade at you. I wonder if all it takes is a couple of, well, your mum just fucking left you type comments for you to start going in your vulnerable moments of actually fucking, yeah, I need some help right now. But at what point can you be a parent? At what point do you deem your child, this is an adult, right, your adult child old enough to live their own life like if the kid decided to go and live in Australia you just have to suck that up as a mother like why is it and I think for for you Hannah you made the choice to go to New Zealand for career opportunities which again is perfectly your choice I think as parents we never know what the outcome is going to be some kids couldn't give a shit you know you might have seen it as a brilliant my mum's fucked off and giving me a bit of independence I mean Dixie hates us being back this is what I mean we says we drive our matches the The house is too noisy.

56:39Too noisy. She likes her independence. She wants her peace back.

56:41Anna Williamson:But every child is different and some kids might be left behind. I think you've given all the right choices. You offered her to come and live with you. You offered her to relocate. I think when it comes to relocating, it's so personal. I think in this instance, you can only do your best. I don't think you're going to have a magic wand here of everyone being happy, clappy. And, you know, because it sounds as though there is a bit of disconnect. All you can do is be consistent, I think, with your daughter saying, I love you. I'm here to support you in any way I possibly can. But also keeping those clear lines of I live here and you are always welcome to come over here and live with me if you want to choose that.

57:16And obviously you're still very young because you had her at 17. She's now only 19. And, you know, I just don't sign up to this. And, you know, I know that I am a bit different to normal people, but I'm not fucking hanging around. When my kids are married and popping out babies, Like my mum, my mum and dad moved to Cyprus when I was, what, 20, 21, 22? When you were having Dixie, weren't they? Yeah, so I had Dixie and my mum wasn't allowed. I never resented my mum for that or had any bad feeling about that. She's got a life to live. Yeah. You know, and I just think that just because you're a parent does not mean that you stop living your life.

57:55Like we've got to stop signing up to this because actually it makes very miserable adults and parents because you then resent things that you can't do. But you're not tied to your children forever. You don't own your children. You don't owe them anything. You owe them a good upbringing and to provide for them. But until they're 18, I'm not... If Dixie chose to have a baby at 18, I'd be like, good fucking luck. Well, it's her choice. I'm not fucking helping you out with this shit because I would not agree with her having a child that young. I think it would be a huge mistake. And I was a young mum.

58:28I had her at 23. but it's fucking hard work you know and you know they make these adult decisions So grow up then and be a fucking adult. If you want to play mum and keep that baby, good luck to you.

58:42Anna Williamson:But you've also given her a choice. And she's helped so much. She's flying back and forth like a bloody yo-yo this poor woman. But also she has given, what I would say is from what I can see is you have given her choice. You said you're welcome to come here and live with me and we will make that happen too. I think for me as a mum, but also looking at these two situations, two sides, I think all you can do is be consistent in the love that you are offering her, but bounding as well the fact that you have a life too. Keeping it very clear. You deserve that life. Yeah, of what you would and won't do.

59:10Anna Williamson:Don't feel guilty. Invisible thread. Because you're not even 40 yet. Do you know what I mean? And just live your life. You've raised your child and now it's your time to live your life how you want to live it. Now your child is raising their child and that's her choice to live how she wants to live. Just because your child has a baby doesn't automatically mean that you're suddenly like got to raise another kid and be around for that. I'm not. Fuck that. I hate babies. There's no way that I'm, my mum has been so good with my kids. I would never be like my mum. She's amazing. Like, you know, like my in-laws and my mum and dad again as well.

59:47Your mother-in-law's amazing. Yeah, she is. Like, she's really, really good. Yeah, yeah. They're brilliant. Your mum is good, but your mother-in-law's better than your mum when she's younger.

59:56Anna Williamson:Honestly, they're genuinely about the same. I'd say they're the same. They have them equally. She has them a lot, Liz. My mum does as well. I just don't tell you. Just don't tell me. Yeah, they have them equally, yeah. I just think, like, I just wouldn't do that. But I think... I'd have no interest, actually. I really do not like babies or children. But I think the key there, what I've heard there, is the you just abandoned me in the UK, however she phrased it. That, for me, I think has come from influence with someone. 100%. If she is feeling that, I think possibly I would just confront that statement and go, right, do you feel that?

1:00:28Anna Williamson:And then put that, sort of put that to bed a bit. Because she's living with her mother and she doesn't talk to her mother anymore. Yeah, she's got a reserve in there. So obviously there's that quacking in her ear. Look, what more can you do? You've told her to come and live with you. You've booked the flights. You've asked multiple times. You've flown out there. She's made you feel unwelcome. You've flown back. There's not a lot more you can do. I think you've done it. Breathe and let it go and go and live your best life in New Zealand. And keep the door open to your daughter. Exactly. It's all you can do.

1:00:52Good luck, my darling. Right. Anne says, hi, girls. Love the pod and all that jizz. I only found you recently through Instagram. Oh, well done, Bex. and I'm now working my way through the back catalogue every day.

1:01:04Anna Williamson:I am proud of you. I have a story for you about my worst ever third date with a boy I'd fallen head over heels for from day one. To set the scene, we'd met through a mutual friend. We were both single, him looking to settle down, but I was unsure what my dating goals were. I was still slightly in a ho phase after getting out of an abusive relationship a year prior. He'd done the gentlemanly thing of taking me out to coffee for our first date, which sadly for me at the time meant no bonking. as soon as i saw him i was obsessed blonde blue eyes huge muscles and that australian accent an hour after our date he followed up with a text about my beautiful blue eyes and i was in a second date came only two days later when he invited me over to his house for dinner and watch the sunset oh that's cute i was blown away his house had expansive views of the mountains we enjoyed a beautiful sunset over wine and he cooked the best steak I've ever had in my life oh what a donis we made our way to the couch and quickly progressed to the bedroom usually as we all know the first time can be a little bumpy as you both work out what each other likes but not with this man he was muscular, strong, communicated well and happy to do all the work necessary get that pussy pump out this man threw me around the room in all the right ways and had stamina to back it up After a wild evening and some more morning bonking I left the next day feeling extremely satisfied I couldn't believe my luck When after a week of texting and sexting He invited me over again the following weekend In the afternoon I was due to visit He messaged me and asked if I liked seafood Love it, I replied So I knew what was in store for dinner I did my everything shower in preparation Popped on some cheeky lingerie A nice dress And this time I packed an overnight bag I arrived at his house to the bubbling of a brand new deep fryer he'd purchased which was on the kitchen counter alongside a chopping board upon chopping board of food home cut chips, cod, scallops, prawns, squid, onion rings and bowls of homemade butter all I was told to do was perch my bottom onto the square kitchen top he handed me a glass of wine we chatted, listened to music all whilst he prepared dinner it's very Fifty Shades isn't it?

1:03:18I know he was very excited with his new fryer purchase and as he was popping more oil in, he explained how he liked to prepare and cook his own food so that he knows what's in his meals. He discussed how he was trying something else new and cooking in coconut oil because he'd heard that was better for you. Before melting it, he gave me a spoonful and it sure tasted like pure coconut. Surprisingly, none of the fried food once cooked had a coconut tag and it was absolutely delicious. Even though he had cooked for what looked like an army, we polished off a lot of it and as the night progressed, we kept dipping back in for more.

1:03:53Absolutely stuffed to the brim and rather tipsy on a few bottles of wine, practically rolled into the bedroom and too full for any physical activity, we fell asleep spooning. Only a few hours later, I'm awoken by him moving from the bed in the dark, off for a night time wee, I presume. Just a minute later, violent vomiting in the en suite, which I should add doesn't have a bathroom door. Calling out to check he's okay but wanting to still give him privacy, He responded with a dreary, fine. I check the time. It was only just midnight. He sorts himself out, gets a drink and pots himself back into bed, apologising and telling me he hasn't been physically sick for many years.

1:04:30Doesn't know what came over him. Back cuddling, we drift off to sleep until 3am rolls around. I wake up with the most excruciating stomach cramps. At first I lay there, curled up in the fetal position, not sure I can move. Racing through whether I'm due on my period soon. Do I have trapped wind? has my ovary burst open questioning whether I still own an appendix and then the feeling comes to me we all know that one when your arsehole starts to push but at the same time you're sucking it up as far inside you as possible awful awful with the room still pitch black having only stayed one night before and not knowing my way around the furniture I grab my phone using the screen for light in the hope of not waking him I creep out of bed and with the movement I feel it oh no the wet trickle down the back of my leg I reach the en suite and panic there's no bathroom door fumbling now for the bedroom door I've awoken him and he asks if I'm okay I give a short reply of toilet and I stumble a short way down the hallway to the main bathroom the toilet is in a separate room of its own a small space which happens to have a light an extractor fan, thank god no sooner am I in my belly starts to loudly gurgle there's no time for the usual toilet roll hummock I create my hand Oh, oh.

1:05:48So she's done a hand hammock to catch the poo so no one can hear the splash. This poo is clearly not coming out whole anyway. And as I bend to sit, my arsehole explodes open, projecting yellow shit out at the speed of light, followed by the loudest wet thoughts. And I am mortified. I'm in a small bathroom. The house is silent. There's no way on this earth that he's not just heard me. My arsehole continues releasing its waterfall whilst my stomach crumps get worse. God bless this man Can I just say

1:06:17Anna Williamson:when she said seafood I was like that's so risky Risky God bless this man as he comes to the outside of the toilet door and sheepishly asks if I need anything I simply beg for him to go unsure of how I'll ever face him again and then it gets worse whilst a torrent below is releasing into the toilet bowl my stomach is cramping I get the tangy feeling in my mouth whilst extra saliva is being created my throat goes funny and I know all too well I'm about to vomit. Oh, God. Hang on. But I'm in a single toilet on its own, not a hand basin in sight, not even a bin. I panic, shuffle backwards on the toilet, looking down and wondering, can I aim my vomit between my legs?

1:07:02This is awful. The cramps are increasing and like an exism this thing wants to be out of me. I cry out for my date to get me a bucket. He storms in and lunges towards me with a fruit bowl. Not a second later I'm clutching the fruit bowl. spewing my guts up shitting at the same time all whilst I realise I'm completely stuck naked this poor man doesn't know where to look I'm very aware that my diarrhoea has splashed onto the walls the trickle that ran down my leg when exiting the bed did make it onto my foot and ankle and it's now pulled onto the toilet mat this is bad what feels like years passes by as he stares at me naked eyes streaming with tears from vobbing hair now matted bird's nest vomit on my chin shit on my leg and his walls when his face then distorts into a face of pure pain.

1:07:48Oh, it's his turn. He dashes from the open door towards the bedroom and that's when I hear it. His arsehole is open for business.

1:07:57Anna Williamson:Kind of like, good though. His and hers. Yeah, they're both in this together. I mean, they fast forwarded about six months worth of a relationship, actually. From here, we tag teamed the toilet multiple times for three whole days. Stop. Sometimes using both bathrooms simultaneously. We both couldn't leave the house. We did nothing but spew shit, sip water and nap. It turns out the coconut oil he had bought for his fryer had a big sticker on the front saying not for human consumption and was in fact massage oil. We had not only cooked our entire meal in it, but we had eaten raw spoonfuls of it.

1:08:31Oh, it like cleared them out. You know, like if you drink castor oil. Well, if you're pregnant, apparently if you drink castor oil, it'll get the baby out because it has this effect. It does. Do not do that. I don't recommend it. No, don't. So our third date turned out to be three days long. We collectively lost five kilos. We quickly overcame the hurdle. Most couples face farting and shitting in front of one another. And we didn't even bonk once. Luckily, he wasn't too put off. We're still together. Not cooked seafood since. And the smell of coconut oil makes us both rich. Only two weeks ago, we made new bathroom memories together when we got our first positive pregnancy test.

1:09:08at least I know he can survive morning sickness and shitty nappies please keep me a nun although all of our friends will know who we are call me Anne after my wonderful nan

1:09:17Anna Williamson:what a story that was romantic in the end it made them stronger what doesn't kill you makes you stronger I mean it hasn't made their arseholes any stronger talk about an evacuation I bet they never did butt sex ever I mean that's a lesson to us all check that oil recipe thing right remember if you want to get in touch email us Luana at everythingluana.com or drop us a whatsapp

1:09:47Anna Williamson:07521564640

1:09:52Anna Williamson:right newsy bits this is pretty devastating actually so bloody sad especially as well we sort of know one of the parents that's stretch It is stretched, but one of the parents of... Loose link. Well, she wanted to come to Luanna. She's a loose panion. But they're talking about the Southport inquiry and it has found that the killer's parents, the parents could have prevented the attack. Now, all of the agencies involved are culpable in this, basically. Now, the Southport attack, we all know about it. Those poor little girls, those three little girls that were murdered at the Taylor Swift activity day.

1:10:31Anna Williamson:the ruling now says it would have been prevented if Axel Rudakambana's parents told the authorities what they knew about him a public inquiry has found now the chairman has said it was highly likely that the murders of the three girls would have would not have happened if agencies had properly managed the risk that the teenager posed now of course these beautiful little girls Alice, Bebe and Elsie they were killed 9, 6 and 7 when he the killer was 17 years old he also tried to murder 8 other children the class instructor Leanne Lucas and businessman John Hayes and this is at the Hart Space in the Lancashire seaside town the court, the high court judge said this terrible event could have been and should have been prevented he said in a full statement it was a 763 page two volume report and he identified five major areas of systemic failure that affected and indeed infected all dealings with Rudina Kibana who was serving a life sentence with a minimum of 52 years and the other agencies involved.

1:11:44Anna Williamson:Now he says the frankly depressing and therefore urgent matter requiring government attention is the failure at an organisation or individual level to stand up and take responsibility. This is the problem you see. this is the problem passed on passed on that person do with it that person do with it and also then I was actually listening to something on the radio the news the other day on the radio and it wasn't about this case but it was about another case that people are so afraid to be called racist now that they don't properly investigate and to take accountability in case it's like oh well they're racist they're being racist we're so scared in this country of saying anything that is actually now to the detriment of people and protecting people.

1:12:28That puts oneself on the line. Because they don't want to be the ones that is like, well, you're just being racist because he's black. Oh, you're just being racist because they're like Pakistani raping. It's like you can't say it because in case you're called racist. And actually, these agencies, they can't behave like that. They have to look at what's going on and act accordingly. whatever race whatever religion wherever that person's from whether they're white british or black african or india like you know and it's but when we're really failing in that in this country because we're so fucking woke and we don't want to be like oh we don't want to be that person because then you're you know they're scared for their jobs these people right right i think that

1:13:11Anna Williamson:definitely plays into it and then this and this and so there's that so yes and all the agencies involved have been named in nobody taking that accountability and no one being a lead do you know I mean a lead agency to say that the all these things including the parents and I think as well it's also there was a repeated tendency to excuse his behavior including violence based on him having ASD autism spectrum disorder again that's not okay you know that is you know just because someone is neurodivergent doesn't mean oh that's okay then you know you can't do that I wish it did, guys. I wish I could excuse all my shitty debate.

1:13:48Anna Williamson:But then I think this is also, and we talk about this increasingly, I think, on Luanna as well, but the significant parent failures, including not providing boundaries, permitting knives and weapons to be delivered to the home. They're just letting him order knives, order weapons online, getting it delivered to the home, not reporting it. And failing to report exactly crucial information in the days leading up to the attack. In the report, they said that this guy is Axel's parents. They faced significant challenges but ultimately failed to report the risk in the week before the attack. The judge then said that Ruda Cabana had placed his mother and father in an extremely difficult position and their life at home must have become little short of a nightmare given, to use the words of his own father.

1:14:33Anna Williamson:The guy, Axel, had turned into a monster. But he found they had created significant obstructions to engagement with him by various agencies and failed to stand up to his behavior and set boundaries, as well as failing to report a clear escalation in his risk. He said if his parents had done what they morally ought to have done, he would not have been at liberty to conduct the attack if it would therefore and it therefore would not have occurred. and I think this is what's so devastating about this because there are three families out there and all of their communities that have now lost their little girls forever and the accountability parents it says they apologized they moved to the UK from Rwanda they apologized when they gave evidence to the inquiry from remote locations I wonder if they're back in Rwanda for that no they're here they're here they're here yeah because there's there is now questions I was seeing on the on the telly there's big debates now over whether uh some political parties are saying his parents should be uh removed from the country um because and so this is what's creating now i don't believe at the moment they are being criminally held accountable but morally yes uh is my understanding of this do you think they should be criminally held accountable i mean i believe that isn't i believe that is still under uh debate at the moment i wonder how they decide like are are they criminally responsible?

1:15:53Because they were negligent, basically. In a way, I guess it's a bit like, you know, like when you pervert the... Court of Justice. Court of Justice, because you do something after the crime. Like, is there... And that is a crime, pervert the Court of Justice. Is there, like, a pervert in the Court of Justice before the crime, like, knowing that something could happen and failing to report that? Should that be a criminal effect? So on that...

1:16:14Anna Williamson:In which case, what do you think? So I believe, then, on that, I feel so strongly about parents taking responsibility for parenting their children and implementing boundaries. And I think if we're going to hold any other agency to account here, then I think there should. So if we were to hold anyone to account and therefore they have a consequence as a result of that, I do think the parents should too. I think I'm sick and tired of parents pushing the buck now. I even saw something on the telly this morning about one in three children aren't toilet trained and saying teachers should be held responsible.

1:16:49Anna Williamson:to parents your children and it's but but also if that means there has to be skill sets implemented i do too i'm fucking tired and it's hard but you can't be if my so here's the question lu if one of your children and i know it's really really difficult to answer this and when and also we don't know but if one of your children were displaying violent tendencies um and not listening even to boundaries that you were putting in place about what they might be up to if you had severe worries about your child would you go to the police or agencies and raise your significant concern i would like to think that yes i would i would because i don't think on my conscience i could and even if that is a parenting failure or my child is actually sick in the head if i would like to think i'd recognize i need help i do think that his parents had gone because it says that he was referred to prevent three times between 2019 and 2024 the attack happened in 2024 and actually he even went took a knife to school in December of 2019 and he attacked a boy with a hockey stick um and you know that should have led to him being classes posing a high risk of harm these referrals were closed there were no joined up thinking so but um you know he bought weapons three machetes, bought ingredients to make poison as well.

1:18:16And so the parents must have been reporting it to someone to know that he'd bought three machetes. So at what point do you as a parent report it enough that he's been referred three times? Because they must have been telling someone for him to be referred three times. Right, right. For those inquiries to be closed, for the parents to then feel we're at such a loss. we are trying to reach out and it just keeps being like how how many reach outs do you do to then be like well we fucking give up now we're at a loss we don't know where to turn to we've tried blah blah blah and then shit now this has happened we're so sorry.

1:18:51So I think doing this but from the

1:18:54Anna Williamson:overall umbrella on it is that every single one of those agencies including the parents did the whole shoving it to someone else shoving it to someone else and I believe that that there is now real question over there has to be a lead agency in these cases that do hold themselves accountable to these situations. Because to your point, Lou, we cannot keep having this happening. I mean, Christ alive, if I knew that my son was buying weapons, going into school with weapons, looking at dangerous materials, I don't know if he was or he wasn't. My God, you cannot turn a blind eye to this. Because it escalates.

1:19:31Anna Williamson:I don't even allow my son to have toy guns or weapons in the house because I don't. And I say to him, he's like, there's no good that can come of this. There is no good of it. I appreciate you do your little shooter games or people like them. I don't think that's good. I don't think it's healthy. And you know what? Parents are held accountable for children. Look, we get fined when we take them out of school. So I do think there needs to be more active parenting in this country. There really does. There really does. We have a major problem here. Major. And so I guess after saying this on reflection, like maybe his parents should be held criminally accountable.

1:20:06And if that's the case, they're not from the UK. And yes, I do think they should be deported back to Rwanda. Like I feel that any criminal that's not from this country should be deported. I do feel like that. I feel like why keep them here? They're not from here. We don't want to pay for them. I can send them back. I do feel like that. Why do we keep bad people in this country for us to pay for them? yeah well I can't argue with that well it's like remember my housekeeper who was so abused by her Polish he did his time and got sent back to Poland and I think that's right you know they should deport them every country does it we do do that here he did get deported back the housekeeper's apesif

1:20:47Anna Williamson:we do do it and I think also that raises the question that this Axel dies do we even think that we should put them in prison to serve a sentence well I was just going to say this Axel dies I just think just fucking send them back but then I think aren't there laws that if you have to serve the time in the country that you've done the crime Do we want to even pay for them to be in prison? It's not bad here being in prison they have a nice time in prison here they get a cell, they get a telly, they get a phone, they get given a laptop they get all this shit given to them and then, you know it's not like being in prison in Malaysia or somewhere, it's not punishment really being in prison here.

1:21:23They're getting droned drugs in, dropped in the courtyard of the prison, it's very soft in this country and that's why we've got such a problem with crime because it's too soft no one's

1:21:32Anna Williamson:no one's afraid of going to prison i think it's a fucking holiday i think i'm with i am i do think things need to seriously sharpen up here and people need to take more accountability including the parents including all agencies because at the end of the day three little girls are dead and they and they shouldn't be and you know what i just feel so much sympathy for that those poor families um right moving on to uh another topic uh lighter in tone but an interesting one influencer freebies now this all kicked off uh last week it's been sort of rumbling for a bit actually and the person in the firing line has been binky felsted do you know something i feel a bit i mean i i did i don't know embarrassing i do know bex is going tiny I do know Binky.

1:22:22It is a bit cheapskate. Basically, her team has reached out and tried to blag a cake.

1:22:30Anna Williamson:A cake from a baker. They offered exposure as payment. And to be very clear, this was a reach out from Binky's team, not from Binky. Well, how did the team know that she was having a birthday? How did the team know what the kid liked, a yellow train? She has obviously told the team, please, can you get Wilder? He's turning three. He likes yellow trains. He'd like a yellow cake. Please, can you get him a birthday cake? So the London-based luxury business cake is Ange de Sucre, and it's a lady called Reshmi Bennett. Now, I've seen Reshmi go absolutely... She's gone hard. And she's done this before as well.

1:23:15Anna Williamson:And fair play to her. Why did they ask her if they knew she'd done it before? Just on this as well. This isn't a kind of a new gripe from businesses because I'm going to give a counter here as well in a moment. And I do agree that so many businesses get pissed off with people messaging them saying, oh, and a bit a bit loading it up thinking, you know, basically blatantly asking for free stuff in return for social media exposure. Now, just to give anyone a little bit of kind of background in that, that is a very legitimate currency that is used in our weird and wonderful world. Now, to caveat this, and I'm not just saying it, but Lou and I.

1:23:54Anna Williamson:Essentially, it's cheap. Do you know what? It's cheap for a business to gift product to someone who has an influential following. It's an advert, essentially. And so the business in that regard is just paying cost of a product. As opposed to paying for an advert in more conventional ways. Which can cost thousands of pounds. You know, if you talk about someone that's got millions of followers, they're charging, you know, 10, 15, 20 grand for posts here. It's not, you know, so actually gifting a 300 quid cake and getting that exposure, some bakers would be willing to do that. Because they're worth taking a pun on.

1:24:35Anna Williamson:And actually, this is where I want to just counter it. Many really do like this because to lose point there. So then what happens is, for example, Binky then would have posted the cake. The hope is that the cake company get lots of link clicks, lots of traffic, and they sell and orders as a result. And it converts into cold, hard cash in orders and awareness. I don't think it really works for a cake company, though, because it's very regional. like I don't think that any gifting from a regional brand is effective because a cake for instance it's okay if you can ship out a product but you can't really like she's from London it's not like Binky's following Yorkshire it's not going to be any good I have seen Post to the Country though I think you did blag me a Boris cake well that was Sam actually yeah but so Agent Sam are people I knew nothing about this but our people did reach out and blag a Boris cake for my birthday but let me have this right to find it we should have asked my Boris cake maker whether it was effective for her no but I can answer that so when it was your birthday you asked agent Sam no Sam how did it come about my free cake I'm feeling very on edge if you just shut up and let me listen Let me say it.

1:25:56Anna Williamson:So they reached out to Sam and said, we do these lovely animal cakes. Would you like one? Sam then messaged me and went, it's Lou's birthday coming up. And I said, she was like, this lady does these lovely, amazing cakes. Should we get one? I then said, we don't have a need for a cake. It feels like, you know, it's always lovely to promote small businesses if they want to. And let's be clear, on the flip side of this, we get hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people every week very kindly saying can we gift you something this is in our personal dms as well as luanna say i've got a story in a minute for you can we gift you stuff in return for a post or so this is a very very common thing 99 of the time we say thank you but no thank you because we saturate our market we haven't seen it and it's a currency so so to that point on the cake thing there has been a lot of other people saying and I appreciate if you reach out and you in a blatant way go, give us a cake.

1:26:54Anna Williamson:No, we're not even going to pay for your expenses. We want the fucking cake. I agree. That's a cheeky bastard thing to ask for. However, a lot of other companies said, actually, please don't let this put off influencers for coming to us. Because actually it does drive our traffic and it's a lot cheaper for people that want to do it and actually to drive our business. So in the case of the Boris Cake people, Eva Grace Cakes, who's amazing, she reached out and said, would you like one? Shout out Eva Grace Cakes. But this is the key thing, Lou. She can make me a crumble cake this year. No, but guys, this is the important part.

1:27:26Anna Williamson:I believe in these instances, which have gone on with Binky Felstead, the deliverables were not met. So when you take something in good faith and say, I will then post the product for you, tag you and everything else, that's part of my deal, it is alleged that that didn't happen. They took the product, they were then asked where are the posts, and it didn't happen. Well, that's not this cake, because this lady didn't do this cake. But previously, Binky has apparently, reportedly, allegedly, blagged free cake for a wedding or something. And she never posted a pile of it. And other influencers have done the same.

1:27:58Anna Williamson:So what we would say is, for example, the Boris cake, we would never have taken it and neither did we, had we not absolutely given Eva above and beyond, you know, the exposure that she wanted and quite rightly deserved. This was quite bad for Binky, though, because it then created an onslaught of small businesses. She got a pile on. She got a pile on. That came forward. So another bakery said that they tried to chase Binky for£75 for two cakes, which is nothing. Like, I used to make cakes. A lot goes into making a cake. They were greeted with a tumbleweed. She never got back to them. An illustrator shared her experience with Binky, claiming she'd been approached to design free wedding invites and menus.

1:28:37I think when you're doing cheeky and blatant, it's not okay. I mean, her team reach out a lot. Binky's thought to be worth about 1.4 million. But yeah, she's not. But listen, do you know what annoys me as well, though? And I'll tell you something that happened to me within a week, right? So within a week, I was driving up to the gates of my house and there's a box just by the gate for me that someone had just put there. Didn't want it, didn't ask for it. And actually, to be honest, I haven't even opened it. I opened it and I saw the card and it said, Hi, Louisa, we're local to you. We thought you'd like this.

1:29:14I actually haven't even taken it out of the box. are still sitting in my boot room now. So again, that's a gift that I didn't want, that I haven't asked for, and that's just been plonked on my doorstep. And do you know what pisses me off? It's just shit that's cluttering up my house. Like, you know, like genuinely, I will work with brands like Lemieux, it's an amazing horse brand that I love, and I buy a lot from them, and they reach out to me, and they're like, would you like this? And I'm like, oh my God, I'd love that, yeah. And it is something that I genuinely would buy. yeah um and then another brand um reached out to me three times they dm'd me on my equestrian account and i ignored them every time i saw their dms and i chose not to respond because i didn't want what they were offering me um three times that happened over the course of like six months and then um one day box gets delivered to my house by post i open it and it's from this brand and I was like well that's weird how have they got my address and I messaged them and I said hi I've just basically you can see all the messages that I've ignored I've never interacted with them and I said hi I've just received a box of this stuff from you um just wondering how you got my address and she said oh one of your friends knows one of my friends someone else in the public eye um this person who's a friend knows this person and they then they got your dress and I was like that's fucking out of order like she knows she's also in the public eye why would she give my dress didn't add up at all so i messaged this friend and i'm like hey babe really weird but this brand who i've been ignoring because i didn't want their shit do you know what to me like we do genuinely hands up black and white we earn money from working with brands it's part of our income well that's like everybody else going to work and doing a job that's part of our income that's what pays our bills, your mortgage, you know, blah, blah, blah.

1:31:08Anna Williamson:But it's mutually beneficial. It's not just that. It's our fucking job. Working with brands is our job. There is, we get paid to do an advertisement, like you see an advertisement on television. We have deliverables. We do the advertisement and we post it on our social media channels. It's a way of advertising, okay? It's a new way within the last, you know, five, six, seven years. It's really come up. So for us, there's value in that. there's no value in me receiving a hundred quids worth of products that I don't want right don't send it to me if you want to work with me as a genuine brand write to agent Sam she can tell you how much I charge it will be filmed properly by Bex and edited and put out the deliverables that you absolutely want and that's paid and that's part of my income okay but I don't anyway I didn't want this fucking thing so they said this this person this friend of mine had given my address I messaged said friend and I was like it's really fucking weird they said that you know someone that knows someone and that you've given my address and she was like I absolutely have not anyway I was going to say it does sound weird I would never give out your address I went back wasn't you no no no no no but as in but any friend but any friend whether they were public profile or not so I not unless you ask yeah and I went back to the brand oh so they then I said I've received this how did you get my address and they responded saying so and so and so and so and so and I just didn't respond to them.

1:32:31Two days later, they chased me up. Hi, just wondering what you thought of the products. And I'm like, I didn't want your fucking products. Don't chase me asking for my opinion on something that I didn't want that you delivered to me, totally uninvited to my private home where I live with my family. And now you're asking me for my feedback on the products that I didn't want. make this make sense so i wrote back to her and i said hi um i've spoken to so and so she says that she didn't give my address so i'm still not sure how you've got my address i don't appreciate the the package or you know i was polite of course i was like you know i appreciate you wanting to send me something but it's not something that i wanted you're now chasing me for feedback as if i owe you something on these products that i didn't fucking want in the first place she then wrote back to me making out she was some kind of victim being like you know it's very hard for me I'm hustling over here it's just me and my daughter and trying to guilt me into it and I was like I'm not being made to feel guilty for this and I said I appreciate that you're hustling for your business I get it I have run small businesses yeah I totally understand that but from my perspective you've written to me several times it's clear I didn't want it you can see that I've read the messages you've then unsolicited sent me these items which you're now chasing me up on my feedback about which i didn't want in the first place it's it's very intrusive that you've you know sought out my address clearly i've ignored you three times you've then gone the extra mile by seeking out my address from someone knowing that i didn't want the products because i've seen the messages and i didn't want them because i didn't respond now it just like now you're making out you're the victim it really really fucked me off and that is like the flip side of working with brands and if i wanted them i would have been like yes send them my way but i'm not like gonna then edit and film content and pay bex to do that for me for 100 quid's worth of products that i didn't fucking want in the first place right and i think i think it is such an interesting

1:34:39Anna Williamson:topic my thing on i mean we all went i mean i there was a level of i felt for binky there was another level where I completely uh felt for the Kate lady because I thought yeah you're you've had a blatant ask doesn't pay their bills and you say and you are a you know you're working hard and hustling for your business I think there is a middle ground and perhaps a lesson for everybody here in etiquette and you know what I do it Lou does it sometimes you do work I mean and it is a currency sometimes even me with my house reno some people have come forward you know to do with you know bathrooms and things like that and they've said actually do you know what you're ordering anyway from us we would like to offer you a discount um would you mind you know if you're going to do a reel at the end of it anyway and you're going to showcase all the product would you fancy a little bit of a discount some of them i said yeah you know what that works for me some um i've said no thank you that's not something i want to do and others i've even said would you like to come in on any collaboration they said no thank you it's not a currency we like not a problem i'm very happy to pay the full price so i think the the sweet spot here is just have a bit of etiquette and a bit of manners.

1:35:38Anna Williamson:I think public shaming is probably not very helpful because I think both parties here benefit and I think we just probably just need to be a little more classy when it comes to how we work together. And you know what, it is a weird world we live in and it is a currency and this is how things work and I think if it works and it's mutually beneficial that's great. Bex wrote to me the other week and said so and so has offered you something do you want it and I was a bit like well not really if I've I've got to then do a whole fucking real and post about it. I'd rather not. I'd rather buy it. I generally will buy things that I want.

1:36:12Anna Williamson:I was going to say, rule of thumb is if you want it, offer to pay always. And if you get someone that's kind enough to say, do your fancy discount, that's lovely. But never expect or assume something for free, I think. Anyway, it did go viral. But can I say that I have worked with small businesses that have never asked me to plug them. Same. Aaron, the carpet and flooring guy, I gave you his number the other week. I was one of his first ever celebrity, quote, in quotes, customers. And he literally, if you talk to him, he will say, you absolutely made my business. Like Ted, the PT, he'll say the same about the influence that I've had over his business.

1:36:48Dash drinks. Dash was like huge when I posted about GoHenry. I posted about them donkeys ago, the children's credit card, and got huge amounts of it. So, you know, it's mutually beneficial. The organic love. But my ginger nest interiors, Abby never asked me to mention her.

1:37:05Anna Williamson:And she said, thank you. I've had so much lovely traffic. You know, same with Bess. So I think if we can all come at this from a sensible position, but also recognise that there are guidelines around it being a business. And I think that will probably help the whole landscape.

1:37:23Anna Williamson:It is time for... It's the widow of the week. Anonymous, so Eileen. back and take it. I lean back and take it. There it is. Is that you, Emma? Yeah. Emma is leaning back and taking it with a dicky ankle. Hi, girls. I love the pod. I've told all my friends to listen. Thank you, beautiful. And I've told this story many times before. So for those who know me will know I've written in, but just in case people involved do listen, I'd like to say a non. I think I have weird of the week and if I could nominate other people. The lady who had her bath with her son reminded me of a story. A few years ago, my brother brought round his then new girlfriend, now wife, let's call her Sally, and her family for a few drinks.

1:38:04Anna Williamson:We sort of knew them as a family already, so we thought it would be a good idea. As we're all chatting around the table, someone mentions saving water, and Sally's mum proudly says, we say loads of water, we all share bath water. Oh no, it's a no from me. Oh no, my brother then starts a little bit. Pissy, farty bath water. Oh, cabbagey farts. Scabby, scabby skin. Hang on, go down, go down. Oh, sorry. That's it. I know, give me a chance, the fucking mouth keeps freezing. Okay. My brother then starts to look a bit embarrassed. As I can see on his face, he already knows where the story is going. She carries on.

1:38:35Anna Williamson:Yeah, I'll have a bath when the kids will get in after me. The kids, meaning her 23-year-old daughter and 25-year-old son, share bath water. I mean, they're shagging at that age. There's a lot of DNA in that bath. It gets worse. She then carries on to say that they are a really close family and they love having a chat while in the bath. My brother turns to our family and says, this is weird, isn't it? Our faces are horrified. We then ask her to explain and she says that the mum has the bath first. When she's finished, the daughter will get in and use the same bath water while the son sits on the toilet and chats to her while she's naked in the bath.

1:39:09Anna Williamson:And then she'll get out and chat to her brother while he's in the bath or using the same water. 23 and 25 She also said that she tried to get my brother in on the shared bathwater but she didn't know why he was being snobby about having a bath after his girlfriend's brother What the actual I mean the guy must really love her to not have run from that household My brother acknowledged it was weird but it clearly wasn't a deal breaker We found this story out years ago and every time I think about it I still can't believe how incestly weird it is I mean come on, there's close and there's that So for the weirdo of the week I would like to nominate my brother-in-law and their dirty bath water.

1:39:46Anna Williamson:Hopefully it's made you laugh as much as it has for other people that I've told. Love the pod. You want to know something probably a bit weird? You do that. I don't share my family's bath water, hell to the no. But if on the odd occasion, you know, being grown up as well, my brothers, we're quite a nude family. Just say it. No, that is it. We're quite a nude family. So if my brother's in having a shower or something, if you're at my parents' house and my brother's decided to use a shower, I'll walk in there and go and have a wee while my brother's in the shower. I think that's alright I mean my kids walked in on you having a wee this morning with their butterflies and Anna's just sitting there pissing and they're literally not they actually didn't even comment on the fact Anna was on the toilet with the knickers around her ankles they just wanted to show you their butterflies I was also by the way in the toilet yeah it was like being in my own house and Lou was like can you get out the way why Anna's had a wee and I was like Lou this is literally like my two I think that's fine but the water the water's the ick for me they're not clean Why would you want to be in someone else's sweat soup?

1:40:45Imagine him, he's got to go down on his girlfriend after she's been in all that. She's not clean. Well, bath water's all minging, isn't it? Okay, fine, weird. Right, another and non now. So, D-cup. Dear two sluts and a lesbian. I like that. Love it. I like it. Love that. Two sluts and a slutty lesbian. I'm still howling at that episode. I'm a fairly new listener. I started binge listening last year. I went back to the start and now I'm almost in 2025. I've had a chart sheet I get to tick all episodes Oh this is good I've listened to which is oddly satisfying I feel like there should be a prize given to us for making it through all the years especially in a short period of time Anyway I've got an is it weird When am I my period and I go to the loo I play with the stringy bits of blood clots on the toilet paper I don't touch it with bare hands I just play with it on the toilet paper Am I weird?

1:41:36I feel that Lou would have done this Have you? I don't get periods Oh no I guess when I did, I've looked at the clotty bits. I don't think I've played with them. Sorry to disappoint. Love the podcast. I can't look at Pringles the same way. Everyone that's listened to that episode on the Pringles will know what you're talking about. I'm hoping to be listening to the present date soon. Well, when you are D-Cup, you will hear this.

1:42:02Anna Williamson:So for me, the weirdo of the week, even though I wouldn't play with my period blood clots, and even though I am comfortable being naked in front of my grown-up brothers, it's the sharing of the bath water that is the weird of the week Emogen congrats I'm not ranting because I feel like I had a little bit of a moan about the free shit that's been sent to me and now I feel like people are going to listen and be like you ungrateful bitch but it is annoying when you get sent a lot of things unsolicited I don't think you sound ungrateful I don't want to sound like that you sound measured we are very fortunate and we love working with brands we'd just like to say thank you we like working with brands that we know are delivering to us we know it's coming we're very lucky to get these lovely offers but as you say you can't say yes to them all goes in the school raffle right anyway that is it for this week's Luana please don't worry we will be here every Monday not that you are worried but if you don't want to wait until then on Thursday we do have Luana totally extra and for that we do need you our lovely Lufanians you can send your emails in to Luana at everythingluanna.com.

1:43:12You can also hop on to WhatsApp, send us a cough, send us a voice note or a message.

1:43:17Anna Williamson:Our number is 075-215-64640. Do follow the podcast, our beautiful friends. Now, here's the important bit. Are you listening? Share the podcast with a friend, somebody that you like, even someone you don't like. Send it to them. Send them your favourite clip, maybe some of the advice we've given, maybe you want to lose rants. Just share the Luanna love, basically. We'd really appreciate a five-star review if you've got a couple of minutes. You're the best. Adios. We'll see you Thursday. Bye from Crumble 2.