'Sh*t, I'm a traitor!'

17:48You could be a Connie, you know.

17:49Anna Williamson:You could go work there. You could go and work there. Traitors' people, can Imo come and do a work experience for a day? You could train her up as one of them. I actually would love that. You would be brilliant at it, actually. Anyway, and I'll wear the wig. Anyway, so I've always hosted it, but I've never got to play it. So I was so looking forward to actually getting to play the game. It's Natalie's fault. And then we got in there and we did have a bit of fun and we did one of the tasks and stuff. But which I won, can I just say? The first actual thing. I won that task. You were great, actually.

18:21And the first actual thing to happen, like before any banishments or round tables, is someone gets murdered and they fucking murdered me.

18:29Anna Williamson:And it wasn't us. And we found out afterwards. It was bloody Natalie. And I got kicked out the room. And Natalie accidentally murdered me. Well, she said she thought she was recruiting. Who was she supposed to murder? Well, no. She said she thought she was recruiting. Nat Bond thought she was recruiting me, apparently. I don't believe that for a second. But. Liar! Anyway, they murdered me. So off her went. I have to say. And Nat was a traitor. But that was, I have to admit, because I was sitting next to my little Im's, and we'd partnered up for a little task as well. And I'd already in my head gone, me and Im's are the same.

18:58Anna Williamson:We're both Cancerians. You know what? We're faithfuls. At that point. I was convinced that Immo was too. So I was like, I'm going to stick with my sis. So when you got thrown out, I was genuinely really gutted. A, that you'd gone, but also that you loved it. Imo, how gutted were you? I was quite shocked. Did you cry? And my eyes did have a little tingle. Oh, this is like her 18th birthday party again. Imo said to me, Imo went, I'm not going to lie, I did nearly start crying, but I had a word with myself and told myself to man up and not cry. I did, because I thought you stopped being a pathetic little witch.

19:32She nearly cried. she basically was crying inside but outwardly the tears hadn't started you know when you get because I was quite shocked that I'd been killed so I kind of felt a bit like hot and like oh god and then I was like I don't get to play anymore and I really wanted to do a round table because I was really planning on on spelling people's names incorrectly for the gang

19:53Anna Williamson:I've got a game plan well I think next time we just ban Natalie because she screwed it up because also Natalie was a traitor and the most loud foghorn traitor so basically if you haven't been to it how it works like whenever you get to like the banishment rounds and the murder rounds and stuff you all have to put on these like blackout goggles you can't see it at the end so no they put music on and like it's so brilliant it's the production no there's no music there is music well I could hear everything no they put there is music I didn't have music in my ears not in the ears but it's in the room oh I didn't hear that yeah yeah it took to sort of how strange how weird you just clearly tuned it out yeah but then and then what the what the host does you know the the Claudia goes around and obviously puts a hand on a shoulder, you know, if you're going to be a traitor or whatever.

20:35Anna Williamson:And then you, that's the plan. You discreetly take your blindfold off to then see who your fellow traitors are, as I found out, because I got recruited in the second round. But then Natalie in the first round, I mean, old fog on, leg on next to Lou. Now, also, because I know Louisa so well, and she is a very good bullshit detector, I knew from the off that Lou was a faithful. I just know you and you know your faith. I did really want to be a traitor. But I was such a good faithful. You were a great faithful. Because I knew you were because I can spot it a mile off. When I look back now to when you tried to prank me on the Strictly that you were doing Strictly, I'm like, I'll spot it a mile off.

21:11Anna Williamson:You have a different energy about you. I think I did prank you. Well, I did believe it. Quite like that. But when I looked back at the things, I was like, oh, well, yeah. Well, not as obvious, but when you're telling the truth, like I really know it. I get very passionate about truth telling. And you were literally like, Natalie, who was next to you, You were like, you were so bloody loud. She was so noisy. Yeah, so I was like, I know Lou is absolutely telling the truth on this one. I heard her straight away. Yeah, so I was like. I heard her take off things. I was like, well, you're definitely a traitor.

21:39She was like, I'm not. I'm not a traitor. I was like, yeah, you are. Like, I know. You can't tell me that you're not. You are. Anyway, so we got rid of her. Got rid of her. One traitor down.

21:50Anna Williamson:We had this poor girl, these lovely three ladies. Well, it was obvious she was a traitor. She didn't stop talking. Bless her. As in like nerves on edge. So we got rid of her. Got rid of her. And then who was, then it was you. Tilly was on her own then after Nat had gone. So then Tilly recruited Anna. Yes. No, Bex. No, no, no. Tilly recruited Anna. Oh, you were a traitor for quite a while. Ages. Without me knowing. I recruited three traitors. Yeah, Tilly recruited Anna. Tilly got booted out. We booted out Tilly. Anna recruited Bex. Bex got booted out. Well, can I just, go on Bex, go in a mic. Go on, get on a mic.

22:22Come on. She really wants to speak. Can I just say,

22:24Anna Williamson:this is probably so boring to everybody else. but I'm sorry guys we're just going to have to debrief it on here hello Bex here well I got recruited off you by you yes you did and then as soon as I got recruited I took my blindfold off Lou took her blindfold off and she just looked at me and went you're a traitor for God's sake I have a really and actually that game has boosted my confidence because literally I could look at people and tell as soon as I saw Bex I thought well she's a traitor You are very good. Although it took you a while. It took you a while for you. Do you know, this was my strategy, guys.

23:03Anna Williamson:I feel like you were avoiding me a bit, though. Well, probably, because I knew I was a traitor. I know you're a fucking sharp as an ox. Sharp as an ox, it doesn't make sense. But my strategy of that was, because suddenly when I got picked as being a traitor, I'm not going to lie. You shit yourself. No, like the adrenaline kicked in, because then it's like, oh God. Because when you're a faithful, you're like, I'm standing on this. I'm going to call every one of you fucks out, right? and then it was like shit I'm a traitor so the old thing's going so you're in conflict with yourself right so I'm thinking in my head I was honestly trying to role play going you're a faithful you're a faithful you have to keep believing you're a faithful because if you if you don't you're gonna slip up you're going to not be as passionate or you know whatever so I was like so in my headspace I was like I'm a faithful and it was only when we got towards the end the final and in the final it was me Lou Hilda my mother Hilda Kerry Stephen Geeky oh yeah Andrew who'd also recruited the traitor um well but this what was so frustrating actually with hindsight andrew and i were traitors we know we tried to connie did eff it up a bit because andrew and i went to go and boot you out because we knew you were on to me because i knew you were on to us so obviously that's the game so i was like we've got to get lou out now because she knows she's on to me um but the guy thought we were pointing at al analytical al so and because we had our things off and i didn't want to make any noise so i'm going no like shaking my head at him going it's her and he's going looking at me confused he went what here and I was like I don't know so then we put everything back on and then Alex had been bloody booted out so it was like fuck at that point I knew I was in danger zone because I was like this man is going to zone in she's going to take me up the arse and she's going to take me out and actually I almost played dirty because Lou played dirty the final round did I play dirty I was very honest no no because they don't know why because at the very around hilarious so Lou and I can be quite physical with each other we got in trouble Lou nearly got thrown out and sent to HR for being too physical because she shoved me around, which I'm all for because Lou and I will just physically fight anyway.

25:02I was like, put the cloak on, Anna. And I was like, what? No, no, what? And I was trying to sabotage a task where basically I knew that I could out-hound as a traitor. I was dilly-dallying. Dilly-dallying. And I was like, put this cloak on and stand there. Where being a waffler comes in handy. And then I'll know if you're a traitor and she's trying to avoid it.

25:18Anna Williamson:So she literally, I was trying to shove myself out the way. Lou shoved me back in. And Connie then was like, Louisa, no heavy-handedness or you'll have to be disqualified. And I was just like, ha. So then I genuinely was thinking, can I try and like, I don't know, pleaded that she hurt me. And then, but then this is how my brain was having to work. I was like, no, but then she'd been a shit move when we go for lunch afterwards if I do a dirt on her. So I was like, at this point, I was like, oh, we just have to go with it. It was so fun. We loved it. Thank you, Traitors Live. That actually leads us nicely into our next section.

25:53Have we got any jingles for it, Ims? We do. This is going to be our last week of jingles, and then we can decide out of all of them which one. The recosecco. That one's been... Recosecco. Recosecco. It's the recal. Oh, that was a good sound. Did we have one like that? No. Oh, did we not?

26:18Anna Williamson:that's just your head making that up it was quite good it's the Reco Seco that's the one I was trying to do the two that have always stuck in my head whenever I'm scripting is either Reco Reco Seco Reco Seco it's the Reco Seco or it's the Reco Seco that's the one I was trying to do there's some good ones and then the milking lady with the Reco Seco I mean there's a lot of good ones We're over the Dairy Queen. So we have two more. Go on. This one comes from Alice. All right. Rec-o-sec-o, Anna Mundo. Rec-o-sec-o with Luanimo. Oh, well, the end bit got me. I enjoyed the Mundo. I didn't enjoy the Mundo, actually.

27:08That bit made me go, ooh. You didn't like that? Then I thought, well, I know that Anna will like Mundo. I mean, obviously I do. Okay, what's the next one? Go on. And this one is from a man fan who's called himself Hugh Janus.

27:21Anna Williamson:I mean, can I just say so far a strong start. Hugh Janus. Thank you, Hugh. Strong start. Who's done production in that? Oh. Is it going to play? This is going to be good. Are you going to play? Oh, please play. Hugh, do not let us down. This one. Rotator Swift.

27:44Anna Williamson:What about Emma?

27:56I mean, to be fair. Brilliant. It was good. I really like that. I'm not sure about the amount of Imo. How rude. Is it Imo's record? Well, I suppose it is Imo's record second.

28:08Anna Williamson:It has replaced. Did you know with Imo? It's Imo's record second. Well, I would say that bad boy is quite long. Yeah. It could have been done with just the first bit. Yeah. Well, can we do an edit on that? It's very Taylor Swift. I like it. Yeah, potentially. I like it. Well, it is the Recoseco. It is. I'm going to try and, I'm only trying to find what I want to do. Well, I've got one. I recommend that people go to the Traitor's Live Experience. It was brilliant. And I really enjoyed it. And grab your mates and go. Actually, it is the best idea for a hen do, a work do, a friends do. Go on your own.

28:44Anna Williamson:Go with people. It's so brilliant. I'm with you. Well, my rec-o-secco for this week, I'm going for a telly show. Do you remember, it's on BBC iPlayer, it's called Prisoner 951. Do you remember the news story over the last couple of years of the Iranian woman, British-Iranian Nazanin Zaghari-Rackliffe and her husband, Richard, I think it was Richard, I can't remember, but she was imprisoned and it sort of became this big thing. that she was in prison wrongly or I don't know too much of the story, which is why I'm now watching it. I've only just started it. Is she still in? She got freed, didn't she?

29:21Anna Williamson:She was freed, yeah. So it's got, it stars Joseph Fiennes. It's got an amazing cast. I haven't, full disclosure, I haven't watched all of it, but it's being, I'm seeing it touted everywhere and I just think, I don't know about you, I was so kind of aware of the story but had no idea of kind of the background and the political side of it and what was going on. I think that they thought she was a journalist. A spy, Prisoner 951. So it's the story of real life story of Nazanin Zagari-Rackliffe. She was her husband. Basically, her and her husband went on hunger strike and then she was freed. But she was imprisoned because they believed she was.

30:03They believed that she was press, I'm pretty sure. Yeah. I think. Oh, it's got a Guardian review. Imprisoned on spying charges. yes

30:15Anna Williamson:so I think sometimes it's really good to hashtag educate ourselves four part drama which is quite nice well it's one of those ones which is quite nice to be at the moment everything's so festive festive and I think for me I love to actually watch anything that's about true life and it's things like that when you see it in the news and then you go actually I've got no idea what that story was truly about so that's my Reco Seco of the week Prisoner 951 that's actually a good one I'm going to watch that BBC iPlayer there you go Mine is a recipe. Oh, yay! So this comes after, you know, last week we were harping on about itsu and gyoza and stuff like that.

30:52Anyway, so I saw ages ago on the tic-a-tac-tac, this recipe, and I can't remember who it was. I'm sorry if I remember. I will credit you after the fact. But basically, it's like a gyoza Thai curry bake. type thing. So basically what you do if anyone wants it you do a tablespoon of dark soy We'll post this Bex on our tablespoon of sesame oil tablespoon of your favourite curry paste red, green, yellow, whatever tablespoon of oyster sauce Nice In just like a small baking dish maybe. Yeah Just that around, stick in 150ml of stock veggie stock, chicken stock, whatever then you stick in a can of coconut milk whizz that around then I put in chopped up bok choy and tender stem broccoli because I like that if you want you can put in some like chopped chicken when I've had roast dinner at the weekend and I've got some extra chicken I'll chop that up, stick that in

31:59Anna Williamson:I've got half a roast chicken from last night in me frigidaire stick that up, whizz it around then you pull out your frozen gyoza from your favourite place, wherever it's it maybe not an ad not a spawn not an ad not a spawn whichever one you want you stick it in the thing so that they're basically like three quarters of the way submerged you just bung that in the oven for about 20-25 minutes bring it out it's quite long because they normally defrost very quickly yeah but it's just to admit it all love that ims and you know it's something a little bit different from turkey and sprouts oh and then i mean you can eat it like that or you can have it over rice or whatever and it's bloody delicious.

32:34I put a bit of fish sauce into, you know, season. Just give it a little bit of fishy. Give it a bit of tuna. You do like a bit of fish. Do us a fave. Screenshot that.

32:45Anna Williamson:Send it over. You do? I will. She loves a bit of fish. Anyway, delicious. Great recipe. A new thing to add into your weekly rotation. That's a good recipe over Christmas because do you ever get a bit bored? Yeah. Like the bland. It's a stodge. Yeah, and it's, I crave like a curry by boxing. Yes, beans on toast. Do you know what I mean? A shocker though, we don't have roast turkey in our family. Do you have goose? No, we don't. We don't like beef. We have beef. Yeah, we think turkey. It's so dry and just a bit flavourless. So we go for a full on beef. This will be my fifth year in Dubai for Christmas.

33:19What do you do for Christmas Day? Do you go to the same hotel? We go to a really swanky hotel, yeah, and we go to the same one. We're just a bit of a tradition. I'll go with Lucy and Scott and the kids and often her parents are there and my parents and one of his parents are there. And it's great because they put on this amazing activities for the kids. Like last year was so over the top. So you don't see the kids. And it's just like booze, mahousive buffet of like everything you can think of. And we just graze and chat and drink. And the kids are running around happy. And Santa comes round. And it's very Christmassy actually.

33:56Love that. Love it. Well, good Reco Seccos guys. Enjoy that. It's actually a really good Reco Seco. A very good Reco Seco. Have we got any feedback from the Reco Seco? Are people enjoying it? Yes, I think they are. And also, as a follow-up to my previous Reco Seco, I brought in something. Oh, this is a day of gifts. Oh, she's got the crisps. I brought them open. And I wanted you to taste them. Oh, get them open.

34:17Anna Williamson:Oh, no, people are going to hate this live taste test. Sorry, we'll take the mics away. Sorry for anyone with misophonia. So, remind us what they were. If you haven't listened to last week's ep yet, hang on, go back and listen to all the previous episodes, guys. Thank you. and follow and subscribe whilst you're there right now. Not an ad, not a spawn, but co-op. If you want to get in touch, please do. It's sea salt and Chardonnay wine vinegar crisps. They'll take the roof of your mouth off. Oh my God, my mouth is watering again. Whoa, these are strong. Let's have a go, Lou. Hang on. I will narrate while you go away.

34:51Anna Williamson:For the ASMR lovers. No. Oh, that was very good. Anyway. Oh, that's an exceptional crisp. They're good. Oh, that's so good.

35:29on Carvana. Limitations and exclusions may apply. See our seven-day return policy at Carvana.com.

35:32Anna Williamson:Hey man, you hungry? Let's order delivery. Yeah, I was thinking... Italian. Burgers? Oh. Game night just got tense. Two bros on different sides of the fence. Burgers or pasta tonight. Why can't we have food without the fire? With Wonder, you can combine 20 restaurants in one delivery, so no one has to settle. Use code MEALTIME for 50 % off your first Wonder order. Terms apply. See wonder.com slash new customer. I've just seen the Christmas cash call. Guys, are you listening? Bitches, mofos, you could win. Are you checking this out? Half a million pounds. 500 ,000 pounds. Are you actually joking, Imogen Rose Hart?

36:18500 ,000 pounds.

36:20Anna Williamson:Jesus, that is massive. Half a million? Yeah. And you'll get it in time for Christmas. Are you mad? it says in the script I am mad you are mad this is and you know I've been listening to this that is nuts this Christmas cash call has been kicking off guys this is actually pretty bloody amazing £500 ,000 could be yours the countdown to Christmas has begun you could be celebrating early with Christmas cash call I mean who even cares could buy a small island in Scotland do you know what I mean actually you could I saw a Scottish castle for sale for half a million pounds I saw that I did think about it I thought we could all club in on Team Luanna I thought, oh, we could do that.

37:00Anna Williamson:I'm sure we could, you know. It's the upkeep of these big houses, guys. I do not recommend. Listen, on Friday the 19th of December, a celebrity could be calling you with the biggest present of your life and definitely one you will never forget. A huge, whopping, humongous, gigantic, magotrogathon. Ginormous. £500 ,000. And it goes in your bank account straight away. What a Christmas. Now, listen carefully. You do have to be in it to win it. So here is how to get your number in the draw. Don't just think about it. Do it now. I mean, what have you got to lose? Literally nothing. For your chance to win half a million pounds, text the word Luanna to 82200.

37:44Anna Williamson:That's L-U-A-N-N-A to 82200. Mega, mega, mega. Text COST250 plus your standard network rates or you can enter online via Global Player. Lines close at 5pm on Friday the 19th of December. That's when you'll need to be by your phone in case it rings. You've got to be 18 or over. Get the rules online and free entry details for this global network competition at globalplayer.com forward slash win. Good luck. Right, messages. Let's muff dive in Christmas style with a message from Anonymous. So Pat McGee. Pat McGee. McGee. Pat McGee. In Irish, a gee is a vag. Oh, Pat McGee. I didn't know that. And I'm basically Irish.

38:28Anna Williamson:Basically Irish. Well, Pat McGee. You have Irish in you regularly. I'm going to next, I'm going to be like, Pat McGee, Pat McGee. Ask Andrew if he knows that. I bet he doesn't. Do you think he will? Surely. Oh, Andrew's a dark horse. He's so bloody now. Right. Hi, ladies. I've been a fan of the podcast for a while. Thank you, Gorge. But I've never written in. It's a rather shameful story. so I'm using my private email to remain anonymous. Lol. Could be the same private email to sign up to Pornhub. Recently, I booked a massage at a local parlor to release... Headed in that direction. We're there.

39:03Anna Williamson:Or we're in. We're in. To relieve some stress. I had booked a full body massage that had me borderline naked and covered in oil with this lovely Thai lady doing her thing. She must have been in her mid to late 50s. Is this where I get my massages? I wonder. I'm not sure. Anyway, she was doing a wonderful job until she got to my lower back slash bum. when she noticed I was clenching my bum cheeks and she asked me to stop so I'd be more relaxed. She's holding in a fart, basically, isn't she? That's what I do. You're like, oh, get back up there. Get back up. Shoot back up the spine. And you know when they put their hands on the back of it and they kind of go, push, push, push, and it's like an accordion flies out.

39:38Anna Williamson:Yeah, the truth was I was doing my best to hold in a fart, but I knew if I stopped clenching, it would come out. I was open and honest with her and I made a joke saying, I had wind and I didn't want to be rude. Oh, I love that decorum. What shocked me was when she took a step back and encouraged me to let it go in order to enjoy the experience properly, saying, it happens more often than you think. Oh, she's a supporter. She is. She is. She's an enabler. I was hesitant. But sure enough, I let it rip. It wasn't that loud or smelly, but we both laughed about it as she reassured me it was natural.

40:12Anna Williamson:It was a weird experience, though. I found the comedy in it. What really shocked me was this. Just towards the end of the massacre... Ah! Touche! Whilst the lady was massaging my feet, she farted. It took me a second to realise what the noise was, but she quickly followed it with a giggle and a, pardon me, and kept rubbing. I would die! I would die if I really did. I would literally die. Now, I wasn't going to have a problem with her farting after I ripped one earlier. It was just so bizarre, and I left the parlour seriously questioning whether I'd fallen asleep and tripped it. looking back she clearly felt very comfortable enough to host the judge-free pro farts environment and i feel honoured to have been a part of it better out than in can we just talk about pro farts so i had quite a lot of wind at the trade horrific that was so bad that was so bad but on the way there it was even worse what had you eaten i don't know too much basically that's what i'd They were just eaten.

41:14Yeah, too much. Anyway, and on the train on the way there, it was violent. And I very proudly cleared a tube carriage in rush hour. Yes, I did. Can I just say, I have never been more proud of you. One man was very vocal, actually. I didn't know I was doing this. Because you were late. Back it up, back it up. So basically, I let one rip on the tube. And I'm standing next to Andrew. Mum and Nat were sitting down. and this guy was standing next to Andrew on the other side. And were these silent and deadlies? Oh, so silent. Like hot farts. So deadly. It was like, yeah, I was taking people out left, right and centre.

41:51Anna Williamson:You know it when your pants are just like a volcano of each. Just hot, hot. And you pat your trousers and you know it just like... It parted around me, people. People started stepping back. And there's this one guy, a mum and Nat, were quite far from me. So I'm like here near the door. Well, they wouldn't have been subtle. They're over there sitting. and they were going, oh, this is vile, disgusting smell. And this man went, it's disgusting. He said, every tube and train I've got on today, I've just had these smells and this has been the worst one. And they were really having a rant about my part.

42:24Well, me and Andrew were dying, laughing. And I was going, oh, it is bad, isn't it? And Andrew's going, it's really bad. And I was going, it's just, what is wrong with people? No decorum. There's no decorum. No decorum. But well, and then my mum said, I'm going to have to get off now. So the guy didn't know we were together. Well, we were killing ourselves laughing and he was so vocal about it. And anyway, then, you know, when you get off at Covent Garden and it's lifts. Oh, yeah. I thought, I'm going to try and let my drop. I couldn't do it. I was gutted. Oh. I still live in regret. Anyway, that was my deadly fart.

42:58Anna Williamson:Can I just say, anyone that drops a fart in the Covent Garden lift, yeah, you need to go straight to hell. Oh, wait, speaking of which. Oh, no, not again. Listen to this. It's too good to miss. Da-da-da-da-da-da. what have you eaten I just love that can I just say I often do this late at night when we do reel tennis you know where you like see a reel and you ping over I saw a funny one last night of a very well dressed man teaching people how to do a little dance to disguise a fart and I'll find it and send it to you I was like I don't know why we find farts so funny oh my god but the comment section was to die for.

43:38Imo, you eating the crisps? Old Scooby snack in the corner. Imo's gone bright red whilst her mouth is on fire

43:46Anna Williamson:from the Chardonnay vinegar. Delicious. But I just think this time of year, everyone's flatulence just takes an increase. We're eating too much. Just by proxy. I mean, I cut roast chicken. I had a lot of kimchi and sauerkraut last night. But isn't that supposed to settle your story? I don't think I've ever eaten kimchi. And what is that? It's like fermented cabbage. I would like that. Sounds like I'd like that. I think you'd like it. Right, anyway. Anyway. We've got another message that's come in from Seema Cumming. Is that your... Yes, it is. I was about to say, she's so happy right now. She's got tinsel around her mic.

44:18Anna Williamson:She's eating her co-op crisps. She's living her best life. She's invented Seema Cumming. What a day. Right, Seema Cumming says, Hi, ladies. I've really been going through it lately, and I'm hoping Louisa can give me some hope, or at least help me see a bit of light at the end of the tunnel. Okay. Interesting how I am. I am the life coach for this one. Over to you, Lou. This just proves that my manner of being is... Brutal as fuck. Right. I have a 20-month-old little boy, and back in July when he was 16 months, I caught his dad on a dating app. It completely turned my world upside down and left me at a huge crossroads.

44:55It wasn't the first time I'd discovered he was hiding things from me either. He'd concealed a gambling problem all the way up until I was pregnant. Back then, I suspected he was up to something because he was acting shady on his phone at night. Whenever I confronted him, he'd call me jealous and make me feel crazy, all while he was secretly gambling away thousands of pounds. Terrible. After finding the dating app, we tried to work through things because I couldn't face the reality of our family breaking apart. But he couldn't keep up the nice act for more than five minutes. Instead, he started trying to level the playing field, saying that I hadn't been nice in the relationship, that I was controlling and that it wasn't related to why he downloaded the app, but that after reflecting, he realised my behaviour needed to change.

45:39To me, that just wasn't true. I felt like he didn't want to take any accountability. I would have understood if he wanted me to work on things too, as long as we were mainly focusing on his wrongdoing, but he refused to talk about what he'd done at all. He suddenly became so fixated on my supposed flaws. It honestly felt like he couldn't handle having the mirror held up to him. As the months went by, it felt like he started to resent me simply because I wouldn't sweep everything under the rug. About three weeks ago, we finally ended things mutually, but it still feels like a huge blow to my self-esteem.

46:13It hurts knowing that even with a small child, I wasn't worth the effort of real reflection or change on his part. There's so much more I could say but that's the short version it's been incredibly hard accepting that this is now my life and that I won't be raising my son within a family unit going days without seeing him whilst he's at his dad's is soul destroying as well I'd really love to hear from Louisa about how she coped with her breakup with her first child's dad seeing that she's now remarried in a loving relationship and has more children gives me hope that maybe I'll have that one day too but being 32 it's hard not to feel like time isn't exactly on my side sending lots of love and thank you for making me laugh on my way into the office on the rare days that I go in oh and there's a picture

46:55Anna Williamson:of her the most beautiful little boy oh well that's I can see yeah she's in the situation you found yourself in Lou um yeah I can you know what would you say I can I I guess I would say that my relationship I think sometimes when it uh what's it when you're blindsided and it sounds like you were a bit blindsided I think it can really well obviously cut you off kilter whereas I would say with Dixie's dad like I wasn't generally overly happy but I did feel like we were working through our problems and then found out that he was still having an affair um so I did feel like a lot of like really betrayed actually um by him when all of that happened but what I will say is it really was the best thing that happened to me did it feel like it at the time we don't often talk about that time actually but it was a lot a real you're a young mum yeah I was young young mum well just I was about 24 I guess she's a fairly young mum in this day and age yeah um at the time I remember actually going to bills with my best friend and being like well he's having an affair basically and he'd been lying and saying that he was with friends and he wasn't and he'd been taking her away for weekends away telling me he's been with friends and he and he wasn't but to be honest it felt more like a punch in the gut because the business was mine and he worked in it and I was just so pissed off that he'd been spending money on someone I was like you fucking arsehole I've literally been slogging my fucking guts out like at work and you've been fucking off to the black forest in Germany to a spa and then Amsterdam for the weekend.

48:40Anna Williamson:But how did you how did you recalibrate then with I knew a little bit about this but obviously to this lady as well. You said that not to the self of seeing but also what I'm hearing is resentment from her from you. It's a massive betrayal. You must have felt really resentful I would assume. Yeah I just remember feeling like you're just a c*** basically. But you know what our relationship wasn't perfect and I wasn't perfect either and I think that you know I think when you've been done bad unto like we both have like you and I um I think it's hard not to self-reflect and you're probably in that stage of like well why wasn't I worthy and actually I then kind of had this attitude and I am quite a black and white thinker and I think that is to being like neurodiverse is that I can really just be like oh well that happened bye and move on and I'm not really a dweller well I really don't and that's just my personality type and it's really hard actually to try and get people to think that same way because actually it's not the norm to be like that it's not it's not normal to be able to be as cutthroat as I am and I've only really just realized that predominantly a lot from doing this but were you always like that or do you think you're that relationship and that divorce has has made you like you are now or do you think you were like that I think that actually my first relationship with that guy when I was 18 and I was heartbroken that made me very um black and white in love and very um like kind of yeah very guarded and always I just always felt like well I'll never let anyone hurt me like that first guy ever hurt me again so I wasn't like as hurt as perhaps some other people would be in a relationship and then you know what I think you have to look at the opportunity that this has given you.

50:29And that sounds a bit weird to say, but essentially you're with a gaslighting gambler, narcissist, narcissist who clearly wants to cheat on you. So why you'd want to continue a relationship with someone like that? Like if you're honest, you don't, that is not what you want for your son and yourself for your future. And I think when you start thinking about it like that, and you know what, he couldn't even be asked to give you the light of day and then puts it onto you. Fuck him. Like absolutely. He can go fuck himself. and wallow in self-pity, you are so now free from the money that he's willing to spunk away, the fact that he's willing to meet up with randoms and cheat on you and dating apps.

51:08You're free from that now. You're a free agent. You've got the one thing that is the most precious in life, which is your son. You're really young still. He's a little belter as well. You're really young. And I know that you might feel like, oh, I'm 32 and I've got a son and who's going to want me let me tell you 50 of relationships end in divorces you are not alone in this and you will meet someone that accepts you accepts your son like they may have children and you will become like this lovely blended family nice to say that even if you don't it is

51:40Anna Williamson:still better to be single in a position you are in than being in an unhealthy relationship which it sounds like it is i think it's really hard when you've got that thought in your mind of well why wasn't I worthy of his time fuck his time you don't want his time you do not want someone to give you time that has those personality traits and that is like that and so I I think that you know I just always look forward rather than backwards and I see everything as like very much a chapter in a book and and it's that was that was part of your story at that time and now you're on to the next chapter of your life which will be better because it can only be better when you've got rid of someone like that with that energy i'm very much into i don't really talk about it loads i'm not overly spiritual but i think that like for me people's energy and what you allow into your life is a massive part of of me and i very much protect my energy like i'm quite cutthroat with cutting people out if i think that you're negi or there's like an undercurrent i'm like bye see you later done i just won't entertain that in anybody but i think to your point as well with this and what you've done well I think we've all done I mean we've all been in situations is that you do and I think if you choose to look at the learnings from your experiences you then move forward more knowledgeable about what you will and won't put up with and like 100 I mean I was in an abusive relationship you know so my red I didn't even know what a red flag bloody was but coming out of it my god I moved into my next relationships and still now as I sit here you know as a 44 year old married woman i am so hard-lined on my bound i didn't even know what a boundary was you know what i mean i didn't know what this is only now yeah and you and you know what you will and you won't accept and i'm and i think what's so important in your life and i always learned this sort of becoming a life coach um but it is what is one of the most biggest decisions in your life is choosing the right people in your closest circle and your environment and who you spend your time with you do adopt those mannerisms of the people in your i mean i've become so much more woke since I've been hanging out with Emma.

53:41Anna Williamson:She self-edits now. It's amazing. But it is true and I think always look for... Look, Emma's talking to herself about not crying. There you go. I was joking. But look for the energy radiators and the mood hoovers. And you know what? You need to be surrounding yourself with the energy radiators and cutting out the mood hoovers. And that relationship was not serving you. And I think, Lou, great advice there. I think as well, just to on a final note, you will... I have never met anyone that has turned around to me and said, God, I really regret that I didn't stay with that gambling narcissist. You know, like you talk to me and I'm like, my life is so much better since I got divorced.

54:21Your life is so much better. Oh my God. It's so rare that you'll meet someone that has been through a relationship breakup like you have with someone like this and that lives with that regret. Like there's no way in six months a year you're going to turn around and be like, I really wish we would have stuck that out and given it a go. Like the guy's a complete ****. So and it feels horrible at the time. Honestly, it sounds cliche, but time is a healer. And I always say one of my biggest things is do not waste your emotions on someone that is not prepared to waste to give you their emotions. like don't cry over someone that isn't even giving you a second thought and this guy is not even giving you a second thought because he's a selfish wanker basically so please don't waste your energy and your emotions on the what ifs the whys look forwards and put that energy into a positive move

55:13Anna Williamson:forwards and you never know just like lou you too could marry a multi multi-millionaire with several houses around the globe. I mean, mic drop for zisballs. It's not all about that, but that was a bonus. He's also... I'm not going to lie. Caveat, he's the most kind, loving man ever. He's so kind. Good luck, sweet pea. Thank you for that message. Message from Erin. Hi, girlies. Love the show. Got a story from a couple of weeks ago that my bestie said I had to send to you. I've been seeing my fella for about 18 months. We have a great sex life. But as you know, the longer you are together, the more experimentation and different things you want to try to keep things fresh.

55:50Anna Williamson:Really? That's good to see. Come on, pop it in. Pop it in. You've got two minutes. Off you go, babes. We've been enjoying porn together for a little while. And recently he showed me a video of a girl tied up with a guy giving her multiple orgasms. Funny flutter. Variety of toys. Have you gone tingly, Lou? You have, haven't you? It looked so intense. Oh, God, she has. It's weird. It looked so intense and hot. I knew I wanted to try it straight away. As somebody who gets incredibly sensitive after I cum, then it's not something I've ever really pushed. But having my man in charge really excited me.

56:27Anna Williamson:A knight in question came round and he tied my hands to the bed pretty tightly with some silk scarves. Oh, silk scarves. That's a lot sexier than those metal handcuffs that everybody loses the key to. Or an arsenal scarf. Yeah. Clearly, clearly from experience. because we know that you're Arsenal supporters. Honestly, I said Arsenal. Oh, here we go. I wish. I would love to be able to proudly be that adventurous right now. The quickest we get is a quickie in the en suite when the kids aren't screaming at us. I don't like doing it standing up. You're always doing it standing up in the bathroom. Try not to get pregnant in it.

57:06Hold on. Take a check. Take a check.

57:10Anna Williamson:Do you remember that? Old wives tell you, if you stand up and do it, You won't get pregnant. Put a blindfold on me and got to work, varying between his finger's tongue and three of my favourite toys. They are adventure. The build-up was incredible. I've never been as wet. I build in... Oh! We're reading a sexy story. Can you mind? I'm sorry, I'm ill. No, you're not ill, you're just vile. I've never been as wet as I've... I have kindly killed this story now. Let's build it back up, guys. The build-up was incredible. My tingles have all tingled away. I've never been as wet as I built in wave after wave.

57:50Anna Williamson:He skillfully kept me on the edge until I eventually exploded into the biggest orgasm I've ever had. Oh, sorry. This story is not going well. This is what we call the Jilly Cooper section. It's like soft put. Oh, the balls are falling off. Oh, hang on. Oh, Lou's got pictures of dogs and children. No. No? Where am I going? Who is that other child? The other one next to that. No. Right. Right. Right. Right. Not left. Right. Right. Again. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. There. No. Oh, there. Here we go. And again, the build up was incredible. For God's sake. Wave after wave. I eventually exploded into a biggest orgasm I've ever had.

58:33Anna Williamson:I'm not normally a screamer, but I don't mind admitting I was very vocal. Someone's just put that on in their car and the school pick up right at that moment. And if it was you, we want to hear from you. Let's do it, especially. Oh, God, no, stop. Gross. However, the whole point of me being tied was to see if he could take me to even greater heights thereafter. What we hadn't accounted for was just how much my body would react. Before I knew what was happening, he has my clit sucker on full power right on my now incredibly overstimulated love button. Oh, I like that. Love button. It was all way too much and without even thinking, my body involuntarily bucked and I kicked my legs.

59:14Anna Williamson:Which we had failed to restrain as hard as I could. Then two loud thuds and silence. Oh my God. So I came back to my senses. I called out to my boyfriend but no response. John, John. Made that up. I couldn't see and I could get my hands free. Couldn't get my hands free. So there I lay calling his name for what seemed like hours until eventually I got a groggy reply. He untied me and removed the blindfold to what looked like a massacre. What? It seems I had kicked him off me, knocking him off balance, and as he fell backwards, he hit the side of his head on the wooden bed frame, cutting his head and knocking him out.

59:52Anna Williamson:He had a huge gash on the side of his head and a rapidly developing black eye. I rung my nurse friend who told us to go to A &E, so I got dressed and I drove him down there. We didn't really talk much in the car, so when we were asked what happened, our story was a little vague. They took him off for various tests and scans, leaving me in reception with soggy nipples and highly smudged makeup. Eventually, he was discharged from my care. Only in the car on the way home did he reveal he'd been given a... Oh, I'm not laughing about this, but in this situation, it's obviously not warranted. He'd been given a leaflet about male victims of domestic violence by a nurse.

1:00:27Anna Williamson:I thought she'd be... Oh my God, honestly, I was mortified. Oh, needless to say, we've gone back to slightly more bland, sexy times recently. Lots of love from Erin. Well, they actually needed to restrain her legs. That's the message here. That's next time. That's the message. Well done on your good sex, though. We love that shagging. Remember, if you want to get in touch, you can email us at Luanna at everythingluanna.com. You can also drop us a WhatsApp on 07745 266 947. 7.

1:01:01Anna Williamson:Right, newsy bits. Our first story is coming from a message from Leanne. Thank you, Leanne. She says, I was wondering if you might be able to watch this and talk about it on the pod. It is unbelievably sad and also shocking. And I feel like Luanna is the best platform to get people to watch this and truly understand what this poor girl went through and to get other people to watch too. Thank you from Leanne. Absolutely love the pod. And I've even talked about things that come up to my friends and say, oh, my friend told me. And then I realised it wasn't a friend. It was you guys. ah okay this is a story that um has quite a bit of personal uh emotion for me this is about caroline flack um and the disney plus uh documentary that her mom has recently done uh it's caroline flack's search for the truth um this was released a few weeks ago i have to do a full disclosure i haven't watched it all no worries um i was meant to that's okay so we've we I think it is.

1:01:54Anna Williamson:I think it's an interesting one to talk about because obviously Caroline. So full disclosure. So we have we did kind of go backwards and forwards about this. I find this a really difficult topic to talk about. But I also on reflection thought it was important to to almost give a bit more perspective for her. Now she's not here. I was friends with Caroline. Weren't best friends, but we were definitely friends. We knocked together for years and years and years in kids telly. We first met in kids telly. We worked together. I did some piloting on Love Island after some when all that first came about, which Caroline did as well.

1:02:28Anna Williamson:Never actually talked about that, but I was piloting. Caroline was the host of it. They were piloting to have like a sort of psych to do some analysis. So I did a bit of stuff with Caroline on that. We used to hang out a lot at kind of events. And we'd often be asked to do, because we're kids telepresenters, you know, a charity campaign together. I remember one of my favourite memories of her and I was running around 10 Downing Street, as you do. I think it was Gordon Brown who was in the office. And I made a classic clanger asking someone who was blind to come over into a photo. And I was going, can you look over here, please?

1:03:02Anna Williamson:I remember she was absolutely cracking up going, Anna, they're blind. She was very ever-vesting. We were raiding the buffet. And at the time she was talking about her boyfriend at the time who was, you know, she liked a big hairy guy, you know, in her words. So I was mates with Caroline. I have a lot of emotion around this because I'm being perfectly honest. I wished I had done more when she was going through her crap time it's always hard when someone's going through something and it's so public you don't want to invade I didn't want to be another person to be like are you alright people can get quite suspicious and especially as you were closer back in the day it's a bit like say me and Ryland we were very close 10 years ago when I'd been in Big Brother then I was working on Big Brother 3 days a week with him and we were very close and we see each other a lot whereas now we don't really see each other that much we don't really talk as much we're still friends but we're still friends but not like we were you wouldn't and i would feel a bit like oh should i or shouldn't i never really know what the right what the right thing to do and i knew i knew i know and i'm friends with some of her closer friends so i knew about the situation when it was all unfolding obviously i'm sure you will know about the situation with caroline if you don't by the way if you have lived like don't know about the situation.

1:04:21I mean, what happened? She basically got accused of domestic violence and she smashed her boyfriend with a lamp and then it was all very public. It was going to trial. The police were prosecuting it. It was going to trial and she ended up committing suicide. Yeah, basically that's what happened. So there's now a show that her mum has done which delves a bit deeper into the background and it turns out that I didn't realise that's a totally different thing that you're on. Oh, is it? Oh, sorry. Yeah, that's not anything about it. and now the documentary the little bit of it I've seen and you guys can fill this in more it just apparently the lamp thing was made up or something I don't know who made that up

1:05:00Anna Williamson:so when you watch the documentary I think the point of the documentary as well is that it's about around the press intrusion and how much of Caroline no longer being here is as a result of the intense scrutiny that was around the case of her around the case and the Crown Prosecution Service, CPS, wanting to prosecute. Basically to make an example out of her. But when you look at the evidence which her mum, Christine, who I thought came across as the most lovely lady in it, as you would, she's got her daughters not here anymore, you know. And I think as anybody would, you'd want answers. And it all is quite sketchy.

1:05:39Anna Williamson:And I think what's quite, and she wanted to take, and in the documentary she wants to hold to account lots of journalists that were writing all the clickbait, you know for the front pages and asking them you know why you know and and it was quite an interesting explanation on what happens when um and we know a little bit about this but when newspapers go into their news meeting on the morning and they're looking at what is gonna create a big headline and and really just kind of going for the clickbait i think that like massive media outlets forget that there is a person that they're fucking with and you know imagine in your life when something's going wrong and nobody knows who you are but you still feel the weight of the world on your shoulders then try having that going through something and it being everywhere you can't go anywhere and everyone's talking about you and everyone's writing about you and it's on the radio and it's in the news you've lost your job and also a lot of it isn't true it's not true and you can't defend yourself and it's like it's like a runaway train yes and And people always think, well, they wouldn't print it if it's not true.

1:06:43No smoke without fire. Well, actually, there is. But there is a lot of smoke without fire.

1:06:47Anna Williamson:And also to this point as well, Lewis Burton, her boyfriend at the time, which was obviously involved, he had said he didn't want the case to proceed. He said, I do not want to press charges. I'm going to speak allegedly because I don't want to get it wrong, but I believe it was, you know, none of it was proven. You know, there was something to do with it was possibly a phone she had in her hand. when they'd the thing is Caroline admitted that they'd had an argument you know that that was never in dispute and I think when you watch this documentary that comes out in the fact that it was never denied they'd had a a domestic situation show me a couple that haven't had an argument exactly and I think for for the whole situation for it to have escalated in the way it did and I have to say from a personal point of view here uh without saying too much but there are people sort of in my ether that have been involved in domestic abuse cases in the court system of recent times and my god that takes forever for that shit to get you know put in court come to because as we'll talk about this i'm sure in future episodes around the backlog in in the court system and i do wonder then then yeah why was this expedited so quickly and to her mother's point she believes it was expedited so quickly because it was caroline flag she was famous and And I can't disagree with that.

1:08:05Anna Williamson:Having seen it play out in a more personal circle here of a non-famous kind, you can't get that bloody, you know, you know. Slot of the court. Yeah. And then suddenly it's, you know, all been rushed through. It's this, it's this. And I can only imagine the absolute hell Caroline was going. Well, I know because I know some of her mutual friends. One of my good friends who I actually work with is one of her best friends was. and the absolute pain that she was going through. And I know what it feels like for, well, I don't know. I've had a snippet of it when I've had my biggest mental crash years ago of when you do have that moment of feeling like it's hopeless and you can't cope with the, you know, and the shame and the black hole of the, you know, the easy, I don't think I can be here anymore because I can't cope with that.

1:08:56The easiest thing to do is to not be here.

1:08:58Anna Williamson:And I think, and so many people have said this, you know, it would have got better. I believe it would have got better. Everything does always get better. But to be in that horrible headspace where you feel like everyone is against you. And you know what, it took me back, when we were talking about this the other day, it took me back as well to another moment. I'll always remember going to the BAFTAs a couple of years before. And do you remember when Caroline and Ollie did X Factor? And this is a completely different situation, but again, it goes back into that bashing. And if you do have poor mental health, which Caroline did, that is talked about.

1:09:26Anna Williamson:I did know that as well, if I'm perfectly honest. I knew that there was ups and downs there. Christ who doesn't you know I can relate to that but I remember going I was at the BAFTAs one year and it was with this said mutual friend of ours and Caroline and they were sitting a little bit down the thing and I think it was Graham Norton who was hosting it and one of his opening jokes which I thought was a bit disappointing actually Graham Norton because I really like him he really went in on hard and took the piss out of Caroline for leaving her job basically it was like part of his opening you know the news lines because it was her and Ollie got kind of sidestepped didn't they I can't really remember I don't pay much to it I don't really remember, but essentially it was framed as a fall from grace.

1:10:06Anna Williamson:You know, it wasn't a, you know, I've decided to leave. It was a you've been booted vibe. And I remember seeing her face as she publicly, and this is before all of this happened, had the piss taken out of her professionally. I felt for her so much. This is our industry. It's our profession. It is such a public stage. You've now got someone taking the piss out of you. You're sitting around your piss. And do you know what she did? She got up and she left. Oh, did she? She was so embarrassed. And I remember seeing our mutual friend and I said, I felt really sorry for Caroline. She was like, well, she's left.

1:10:34Anna Williamson:She got on a taxi, she got a takeaway and she went home. And she spent three hours getting in her little outfit and having her makeup done, doing her red carpet. And I just think, what is wrong with people in this world? Stop being c*** to people just because it's schadenfreude. It's funnier and easier to poke your finger at someone who's having a rough moment because this is what happens. Someone then goes and kills themselves. But we, to be fair, the press still haven't learned. They've not learned. And everyone always says when something blows up, everyone's always like, remember what happened to Caroline Black.

1:11:04But no, they... That always gets thrown around and they still haven't learned.

1:11:07Anna Williamson:But they even do it to you. They've done it to you in recent months. You know, you're Teflon. I've talked to so many people in recent months. They love to put a flipping headline about you, you know, flaunting your figure, you know, or whatever it may be. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. But let's just say, and I know you don't like to talk about it, I hate giving air time to any of that bullshit as well, like body slamming people either way. but if you weren't so teflon and genuinely didn't give a shit you could really feel crap about that or if i did have an eating disorder it could make it worse but but but people don't know if that is or isn't true people need to mind their own goddamn opinions quite honestly if you are in danger of making someone's life bad so what i think is pretty awful about this and i know her mom has gone this documentary goes a huge way to kind of explaining what the actual situation was because i think so many people when they think of the situation think of oh she hit him with a lamp and there was all that blood and i saw that in the some newspaper and that's what it was and it wasn't so what actually happened was that the lamp was never corroborated no kind of it could have been a lamp it could have been a phone it could have been not sure latched on to the lamp then the sun printed a picture of a bloody bed never said anywhere that it was actually caroline's blood not his blood which she herself inflicted on herself in a moment of absolute trauma and desperation and everyone had just assumed it was his and they didn't correct it and imagine that then obviously if you're there thinking oh everyone believes this lie of me everyone thinks this how am I going to get up if you think of like the worst thing someone can think of you and then suddenly the whole world thinks that and you can't and you're not like how can you you can't defend yourself well she doesn't She wasn't allowed to speak to him.

1:12:56She was ambigating.

1:12:56Anna Williamson:She wouldn't have been allowed to talk about it either. But also, it continued right in that moment as well. Because another friend of mine, Laura Whitmore, stepped in to do the job on Love Island. Now, Caroline and Laura were really good friends. I'm friends with Laura too. And it made sense because Ian Sterling, obviously Laura's husband, did it. A very difficult decision for Laura to have to do that. You know, because, you know, you're damned if you do, damned if you don't. Does she still do it now? No, she's Maya Jammer now. Maya Jammer. But even again, in that moment, so you've got all this going on with Caroline.

1:13:22Anna Williamson:And then yet again, let's now absolutely go for Laura Whitmore. And she was subjected to a horrific tragedy for stepping in a dead woman's shoes. And it's like, fuck off. What do you want? See, I just don't pay a lot of attention to it. Which is good. Yeah, I don't really. But so many people do. It's, you know, we still live in this council culture where they're, and I don't know what the answer is until the media are held more accountable. Well, anyway, what I would like to say is, to lose point we say be kind we know that won't happen but you know what I think if each and every one of us can do our little bit just in our own worlds to just stop in that moment when you want to jump on the bandwagon of slagging someone off or liking something that is going to potentially ruin someone's day just stop because that's how you can affect change and it definitely taught me something seeing someone I knew commit suicide same age same career same everything we had she's not here I am it damn well taught me a lesson to A, reach out when you think I'm not going to.

1:14:25Anna Williamson:Just do it. And also, just be fucking kind.

1:14:30On to, well, maybe lighter notes now, but it's time for It's the Widow of the Weeheek.

1:14:36Anna Williamson:This will lighten the mood from Emily. Hi, girlies. Firstly, thanks to the pod. It does keep me going on down days. See? There you go. We're doing fun things. I'm always re-listening to old eps when I need a good old cackle. Top marks from you. Go back and listen. especially if you're over the Christmas period folks and you're bored go back and listen to the back catalogue there's lots of laughs your family are driving you insane yes just go and hide and listen go and listen to the Covid years of Luanna I have an is it weird please keep me a non I'm already odd enough I don't need to fuel the fire anymore when I get out of my morning shower and I go to brush my teeth I always dry off first and I never feel like the moisture in between my thick thighs and arse dries properly whilst I'm in the steamy old bathroom so I hook my towel over my hips tuck each little triangular corner under each flap to drive any excess moisture whilst I do to my two minutes of teeth brushing routine.

1:15:26Anna Williamson:This makes my flaps sound massive. They're not, I swear. It does, actually. It makes it sound like a lilo, but no judgment. I'm only 30 and no kids. I'm not sure if this matches some of the really weird people that write in, but I just wanted to know if it's weird and if anyone else does it. If not, I highly recommend. I could not hook a towel up with my flaps. Well, even with my old stingray, I think I'd struggle. I do this. Do you? not with my flaps but like just your inner thighs and then yeah i'll do one between my thighs and i almost stick it in the crack and one in there just to like yeah just hold some of that like you're wrapping a present yeah a little bit of that one and just because sometimes i feel like you can get moisture down the old crackage in the in the bits not just with my kids i make them bend over and give that old ass crack a right old wipe sometimes i'm just like Well, not with then.

1:16:19I can't relate. I also tuck it under my tits. The underboob. Get the underboob sweat. Oh, I saw this really funny video the other day. This woman being like things that my tits will hold up. Oh, I'm here for that content. It was hilarious. She had all sorts going on up there. She kept lifting it. Oh, I like that. Right, Chloe. She says, I'd like to nominate myself for Word of the Week for something I've realised that I do on my commute. when I'm people watching at the station or on a train I imagine what people's police mug shots would look like I'm not exactly sure why I know it's really weird Chloe from Kent Can't relate

1:16:54Anna Williamson:I can't relate to that but it's an interesting one It's a bit weird I guess that's weird I think that's weirder Oh it's weirder than drying your wet bits Emma you're weird too then And happily so babes I like it I like Right it is that time of the week We're ramping up to Christmas Do you have a festive rant for us, Cisbags? Or are you feeling chill? Oh, a festive rant? Well, any rant, really. But I just wondered if there was a festive one. I'm actually, I'm just going to say that during this festive period, do you know what really fucks me up? Go on. It's like, and I think I might have touched on this before, but I'm going to bring it up again.

1:17:28Because the world is not fucking ending. And 2026 is coming. Yeah. Is that the rant? And we don't need to... Damn it. Damn 2026. But people have this end of year panic. and it's very stressful when 101 people are trying to see you socially it's not necessary next year is going to come so we don't need to start cramming in oh I need to see you I'm getting a lot of I need to see you before you go because obviously I am moving but I will be back quite a lot she's a boomerang and it's just very it ramps up the pressure doesn't it and it's not necessary because there's going to be next year January's going to be dead it's fine so chill out chill the fuck out if you can't see each other in 2025 not a big deal also because next year's going to roll around

1:18:20Anna Williamson:they also can't have been that important if you're cramming it into the last 15 days of December exactly so let's not worry about it chill the fuck out we don't all need to be oh I must see you before the end of the year oh do you want to do this no I fucking don't actually I do still want what I've been doing throughout the year which is early fucking nights speaking to no one preach and crocheting in my bed. There she is. Just because it's December, I am not interested in going out for drinks with you. I couldn't give a shit that I've not seen you all year. And I don't want to see you now just because it's December.

1:18:52And I'm absolutely taking that.

1:18:56Anna Williamson:It's a you... She's got a standing ovation. It's true, though. It's so true. It's true. And if I want to see you in 2026, I might consider it. Consider. But chances are, if I haven't seen you that much in 2025... probably not going to see you in 2026 and Christmas next year won't make any difference either. So I've probably actually just been trying to drop you out all year and you've now come to me at a time. Well, do you know what? Harsh. Thank you and good night. I couldn't remember that. We don't need to cram it in. I've probably said about 18 no's in the last, for the same reason. I'm like, no, it's stressful.

1:19:31Anna Williamson:I have a kid who has a Christmas birthday. It's fine. We can have a curry in February. Exactly. No one needs to have a breakdown. it's a just say no seasonal run like Lou I would like to say it's one of my favourites actually highly relatable well on that note that is it for this week's Luanna the podcast please don't worry we will be here every Monday forever more oh yeah and anyone that's worrying about that like Luanna it's business as usual guys don't worry seriously it's all good it's all good Lou's just gonna have a suntan and a lot of air miles we're all good a lot of air miles guys in fact I have flights booked to do Luana up until September.

1:20:10So please don't worry. But yeah, it's continuing after September. I just felt like... Block booking. We can't book that far in advance. You never know. Don't think they actually

1:20:19Anna Williamson:have released flights yet for the rest of us. So we're all organised, guys. Don't you worry. Luana forever. Forever. Forever. We're meant to be forever. I'll be there and you'll be here. Oh yeah. And that's the same idea. Right, listen, you don't have to wait until then. on Thursday we do have, of course, our little bonus, our little extra orgasm. It is Luana Tote Extra every Thursday. Extra orgasm, that's a good name. Oh, that is. That's a good name, you know. Extra O. The Extra O. Extra G's. Anyway, you're bored of us now. We always need you. Send your emails in. Luana at Luana.com Now this is very important because all your festive voice notes, we are waiting for them.

1:21:03Anna Williamson:Shit gifts. Christmas party works. Christmas parties. Who has been shagging at the Christmas party? We want Christmas dinner gaffs. We want the granny who ended up opening the dildo. We want all the Christmas guff, right? All of it. Annoying kids. Maybe your kid says something funny. Maybe just... We want it all. WhatsApp. Send in that voice. So immediately, Imo will be checking the back phone over the festive period. It's 07745 266 947. Make sure that you follow the podcast top right. Press follow now. Tell someone about us. Make them listen. give us a five star rating and a review also just to say if you're struggling for a Christmas gift for a mate or for a partner do go to everythingluanna.com where you could probably still pick up a very light smuttering of tickets for our big party next year great Christmas present yeah do it right now because I checked and I think we're pretty much sold out for the first one only a handful for the second one the second show is going to be wild I know because we would have been on the Voddy Reds and there's only literally out of a couple of thousand tickets for all of them so literally last chance.

1:22:06Anna Williamson:Bye bitches! Bye! Bye!