'She needs to get over it now'

21:22You know, Elle is like all in for this. So basically, they've invited Anna and her kids, Carrie and her kids, Stacey Solomon and her kids. I'm like, are we inviting anyone who's not a celebrity? Couple, couple, but not many. Because I didn't want loads. Because I've now gone extra, haven't I? So I've got a chef doing afternoon tea. Well, I thought, oh, fuck that. I'm not. Actually, Lou did message me going, oh, I've got to do something now.

21:48Anna Williamson:I can't just have my dad dressing up as Father Christmas. Well, I know I tried to get a really good Santa. Did you? Do you remember the really good Santa from my party? I couldn't have booked out. They said it's the busiest Sunday of the year. So we're just going to have to have my dad. But at least we've got nice food. Well, the food is good. I've got afternoon tea for adults. Really nice, fancy, like brie. Oh, you know what? Like a cheese board. Yeah. This is exciting. And then the kids I've got. Yeah, so we're doing that. So we're keeping it festive. Oh, another quick update as well. Renault.

22:17Anna Williamson:Lots of people have been saying to me, what's with the Renault? I'll keep it brief. Looks good. We're finally watertight, guys. It's only taken us eight months to get a roof and windows and doors on. We are very happy. We are very happy. We are very pleased. We are motoring through. We should be in by spring. We'll see. But you know what? For the Renault that ended up becoming a massive Renault, we're really happy. So thank you to all our builders. And enjoy the view glazing. That's not an ad, not a spawn. We've paid them good money, but they are very good. Oh, that's good, because you remember my fucking window company.

22:48Oh, yes.

22:49Anna Williamson:That was hell. So these guys worked overtime over the weekend to get away from the weather. And I'm like, that is amazing. A company that works over the weekend as well. We've had so much rain as well. Yeah, I know. And they were amazing. So thank you to everyone who has really helped get our house watertight. Hallelujah.

23:06Anna Williamson:Right, Imo. How are you? Rekho Sekai. Oh, wait. No, wait. Jingle. Have we got a jingle this week? Oh, yeah. We've got two more options for the jingle. Oh, right, let's do it. Okay. First comes in from Charlie. Here we go. It's time for... Hey, no, no, no, it's Charlie in Derby. We've got a potential jingle for you for the Reco Seco. Don't know what to watch, don't know what to do, don't know where to go. We've got the answers for you in the Reco Seco. It's the Reco Seco, yeah. Oh, pretty good yeah at the end. I quite like that. I'm not sure how catchy it is. I still like the milking one. I just like the penmanship.

23:49It was very nice. The penmanship. Okay. Thank you, Charlie. Thank you, mate.

23:53Anna Williamson:This comes in from, she wanted to be anonymous and she wanted to call herself Felicity Flaps. Great. Excellent. Good morning, Luanimo. I have a little jingle for you. Hopefully you like it. I've raised an ADHD, so even if you don't use it, this is well. sing. But here it goes. It's a Redco Seco.

24:19I mean, you could get totally carried away with that, Lou. Seems like your vibe. Anyway, give me a wicked porn star name of Felicity Flaps. I quite like this. It's a Redco. It's a Redco. It's a Redco Seco. About and beyond. It's a record It's a record's echo

24:44Anna Williamson:On Luana So come along Anything to the final countdown gets my vote, quite honestly. I actually really like that. Yeah, that's the one for today. Imogen, what do you think? I like it. I like it a lot. And I think you can sing it well. What was the one we had last week? It's a record's echo Oh yeah. It's a record's echo or it's the record the record seco on Luana it's the record seco if anyone would like to actually try and put that to the final countdown with the lyrics we will then play that not allowed though are we? are we not? change a couple of notes we'll be fine right well speaking of record seco right go on then over to you Lou over to you Imms what is it this week?

25:35It's from, about Rachel from Accounts.

25:38Anna Williamson:Mine is a TV show called Colin from Accounts. Oh, okay. Oh, I've heard of this. It's an Australian comedy. Right. And it's very good. I love it so much. What channel? I think it's on The Beeb. I think that's where I watch it. And it might be on Netflix. But Colin from Accounts, basically, there's a man. and the premise the beginning the premise there's a man he's driving somewhere and he and a woman walks past and flashes her tit at him and he gets distracted and hits a dog so they both take the dog to the vets the dog lives they call the dog colin good uh and it's about that basically um and what becomes of them and the dog and it's just great heartwarming it's heartwarming it's funny it's there's like they're like short episodes because it's like comedy vibes so it's very digestible if you're looking for something to watch over the festive period maybe try that okay that's good that's good Anna well mine mine no not at all uh the recommendation of the week and I was sort of toying between should it be a skincare thing this week because I have got a few of those like what do I want to but I'm gonna just keep it real because I've just had a delivery um from Itzu right so my record of the week right is Bex will know this when she comes around does my TikTok filming my record of the week is we're in Christmas season which means if you're anything like me you're eating like an elephant all the time and we haven't even got to the big day yet we're still a few weeks off so for me you know picking is my downfall however these little itzu like posh pot noodle type pots oh i love i've been eating these for years oh i know i know same love same but i i reminded myself of it today i thought they are brilliant if you're trying to just be a little bit good in inverted commas they're only 200 calories they're really exactly but i find them filling and satisfying because you can drink the broth at the end so my recosecco is if you're anything like me and you're just trying to save the fact that you don't want to be eating 8 000 calories a day just yet have your little itzu pot and i have that as my little scooby snack and it keeps me going to actual meal time to you to that so that's mine so but also itzu i mean we're waxing iraq we're not paid we're not being paid this is a genuine but they also do like the goyos and the bowel buns and they just like defrost in the microwave in about 45 seconds but i do the broth i take it out of the plastic pots i like to be bougie i put it in a proper bowl and then i put some goyoza in there like three or four goyoza floating in there too which i like and then on the side i'll have two bao buns with a bit of sweet chili sauce like being in the actual restaurant yeah and i like that so there you go so there you go so is yours it too as well no no oh no oh fine okay well that was mine then Right, mine is if you're thinking about Christmas presents for kids, and maybe people do this, and I know we have all those Christmas Eve boxes and all that bullshit, I don't do any of that.

28:57But basically, on Christmas Day, my kids love getting a Christmas hamper box. Yeah, you were saying about this last week. Have I already done this then? Well, you said you like a hamper, but you haven't said what's in it. Farted. My reco is you get a little box and in it, something to play. Oh no, this is good. Something to read, something to watch, something soft and something creative.

29:24Anna Williamson:All right. So I'll put like a toy in there, like maybe like a little fidget, you know, they like those squishies and all that stuff. A good book to read. Then I'll put like a little pamper thing because mine are girls, obviously. So I'll put like a little face mask in or some skincare that they like. and then I'll do like sometimes pyjamas or cosy socks and I just put a load of little toot in. Oh, it's something to eat as well. So I put like a little choccy in there and I put all nice straw paper in there, whatever. That's nice. And they love that little Christmas toot book. Little Christmas toot hamper.

30:02So that's quite good because I try and streamline Christmas. Love that, yeah. Me too. Farty, farted. A streamlined Christmas. Love it. But a little hamper box. Loads of great deals on my Amazon, guys. There you go. So if you...

30:16Anna Williamson:Bex is laughing. So if you've got any recoseccos, let us know, guys. We'd like to know if you've got anything you want to throw into the mix. Right. The Christmas cash call. This is exciting, guys. Keeps going up and up, this. Are you ready for this? You could win. We are not just saying this. This is an absolute whopper. £350 ,000. so how do you fancy winning 350 000 pounds i mean that's a house this must be that's like two houses in some places exactly this must be like one of the biggest giveaways like it's huge definitely that we've done we've only gone and added another hundred grand peeps the countdown to christmas has of course begun we love you and you could be celebrating early with christmas cash calls so on Friday the 12th of December.

31:02Anna Williamson:That is literally in a squeak's time. A celebrity could be calling you with a present that you're never going to forget. It's a huge£350 ,000 in your bank account. Straight away, bish bash boff. That really is a mesocrissa. So here's how you get your number in the draw. For your chance to win that massive prize pot, just text the word Luanna to 82200. That's L-U-A-N-N-A to 82200. text cost 250 plus your standard network rate or you can enter online via global player lines close at 5pm on friday the 12th of december that's when you'll need to be by your phone in case it rings you've got to be 18 or over get the rules online and free entry details for this global network competition at globalplayer.com forward slash win right massages let's uh let's muff hunt in shall we peeps Message from anonymous.

31:57Anna Williamson:So Fanny Slammer. Oh. Fanny Slammer. Hi, Luanna and Imo. Awesome name, by the way. Imogen is also my daughter's name. There it is. There it is. Look how happy Imo is. I love listening to the pod and I have a life story I've been dying to share, but wondered when the best time to email in would be. I mean, it's always now. Well, the opportunity became clear after hearing you discuss the story about the woman who faked her pregnancy and baby last week. Oh, yeah. That was wild. Oh, so bad. You asked, how do people do this? And how did other people not notice? Both very valid questions, which had me thinking about something that happened to me and had me asking the very same questions.

32:35Anna Williamson:I would love to hear your take on this all. Please keep me anonymous with a fabulous porn star name, although anyone who knows me well will recognise the story. I'll try and keep this as brief as I can, but there is a lot to fit in. In 2006, I interviewed for a job in a bar in Birmingham and I was happily successful. Three months later, the manager, let's call him Dick who hired me and I started hired me and I started dating he was a little odd I mean straight in Lou straight in job bit of penite off we go he was a little odd shall we say but I was if I'm honest so very lonely and had so very little self confidence I was just flattered he was interested bless you babe I overlooked his oddities as a child I mean there is rose-sinted glasses isn't there bless us and we swiftly moved in together and six years later we were married Oh!

33:24Anna Williamson:Been together a while. When we met, he was studying for a degree as well as working part-time. And just like me, as I was in my third year of a music degree, all seemed well. After finishing his degree, he left the bar to pursue a job in finance. I'm looking for a man in finance. A little odd. He did a music degree and then he went into work in finance. Really? Is this my brother? This wasn't easy. He worked from home for a while doing online trading. Before getting a great new job with an account... Is this my brother? before get your job with an accountancy firm that started just after we were married.

33:56Anna Williamson:My brother's never been married, it's not him. We were viewing houses to buy and life seemed great. I should add that during this time, his dad sadly and unexpectedly passed away and it had a huge effect on him and our relationship. Well, it would, babe, yeah. But I held him up. We worked through it and I was so understanding when he cried the whole way through our wedding ceremony with grief that his dad wasn't there. Oh, that's really sad. That is so sad. Well, and this is where the questions mentioned in the beginning start coming in. 18 months after the wedding, I could tell something wasn't quite adding up.

34:29Anna Williamson:I couldn't put my finger on exactly what, but my gut was screaming at me that all was not well. One day, I dropped him off at the train station, only to see him in my rearview mirror walk away from the station and back towards home. Odd, I thought. This niggled at me for a few hours until I eventually gave in and called his work to speak to him. Hi, can I speak to Dick, please? I'm afraid... Oh. I'm afraid no one by that name works here. Oh, have they ever? No, I've worked here for years and I've never heard of that name. What? I can't describe the sheer panic that was starting to build inside me as I'm sat at my desk in a shared office at a new job.

35:05Anna Williamson:So I decided to call Dick directly. Hi, where are you? I'm at work, why? Oh my God. Well, that's funny because I just called there and they say you don't and you have never worked there. What the hell? Silence and then... I think you need to come home. This is like a movie. Babes, I'm so invested right now. My mind racing, I told my manager through blinding tears that I needed to leave. I went home and I prepared for the worst. I sat him down on the sofa, told him he could say yes and no and essentially interrogated my husband for what felt like hours. Oh my God. In short, he had been lying to me for the entirety of our relationship.

35:43Anna Williamson:Oh my heavens. Listen to this. he had been kicked out of uni he gave himself a first i'd like to add knob so didn't have a degree he hadn't earned a penny the whole time that he'd been online trading and when his job at the accountancy firm started he would go to town for the day and just hang out in the library before coming home he had essentially been unemployed for three years and i had no clue no idea we had How did he survive that financially? Yeah, we had separate bank accounts. Oh, and he'd been spending his savings. Where did he get the savings from? I don't know. So the house deposit was gone.

36:21Anna Williamson:He'd borrowed money from his family and he'd asked them not to tell me. He hadn't paid his half of the rent in a year, but the landlady didn't tell me either. Oh, these people keeping you in the dark as well. He had CCJs pending, debt collectors at the door, and I was oblivious. As for everybody else, no one knew. his family friends no one I mean they were giving him money though I was working my ass off to build a deposit but that had gone to oh you poor thing but that had gone too because he asked me to pay for a few things whilst the bank were dealing with some fraud on his account I didn't question it he was my husband I had no reason to suspect he was a lying deceitful fuckwit of a man I didn't know at all so bad this is like it's like the tinder swindler do you know what I mean and all those tears at the wedding panic that he was lying to everyone in the room including the effing registrar i was devastated my friends rallied supported me my family refrained from causing him bodily harm and in time i calmed down but this is where i question my own sanity i was 29 at the time and in my world we were planning a family together i didn't want to start again i doubted anyone else would want me anyway oh honey poo i i told myself that he hadn't physically hurt me he cheated on hadn't cheated on me he'd just been stupid got himself in a situation he didn't know how to get out of so i said look i get it People do this.

37:39Anna Williamson:He got a job as a waiter, quickly became a restaurant manager and eventually a hotel manager. OK, well, hang on. This is turning around. Yeah, we had two kids in the next three years and for a while seemed like a happy little family. But raising children essentially alone, which is what you do when your partner works in hospitality, takes its toll. I started my own business working around pickups and drop offs and building a happy life for myself. Sure, he lived at home and contributed to the household income, but I was essentially a married single mother. So many women are married single mothers.

38:11Anna Williamson:Yeah, of 100. I'm responsible for everything because he wasn't allowed access to the household cash after his behaviour. Oh, she's got like a child. It's difficult, yeah. And essentially living a life where he wasn't needed. The story, however, does have a happy ending. Okay, I didn't know this was coming. I come from a family with divorced parents and vowed never to do that to my kids. But last September, I was nearing 40. My business was successful. I earned more than him and I decided enough was enough. I was done. I had checked out from my marriage a long time ago. It sounds it, babes. Sometime near when I asked him to have a vasectomy so I could come off the pill, I was told and I quote, but if you die, I can't have any more children.

38:47Anna Williamson:Oh, wow. Like he looked after the ones he had so well. Ouch. I was finished. So I called it. I graciously allowed him some time to adjust, but he eventually agreed. And this September, after a year of cohabiting, I really don't recommend that, he moved out. We are divorced and my new passport in my maiden name has just been delivered. I have never been so proud of doing something for me, to make a decision for myself and for my own happiness. To add to the party, I met someone new last November and we are celebrating knowing each other a year this week. He has seen the very best and worst of me this year and not once flinched when I have sobbed uncontrollably or vented my feelings.

39:21Anna Williamson:He makes me laugh harder than anyone I know and I fancy the absolute pants of him. He makes me feel loved and seen, something I hadn't experienced before. Turns out I do like sex after all. Not with my useless prick of an ex-husband. We are now amicable co-parents. Well, that's good. I always recommend that. Who can have a civil conversation regarding the children. And I wish him all the best. Well done for getting to that point, by the way. And the real cherry on the cake? My youngest, my boy who was eight, curled up in my lap last night and said, Aww. This is what is so lovely, guys. Mummy, you look happy.

39:54Anna Williamson:I don't remember you laughing a lot when Daddy lived here. But you laugh all the time now. They do notice everything, children. And people stay in unhappy relationships. Oh, because the kids, you can't do it to the kids. It's the best thing you can do to the kids to give them two happy parents. It is always, as someone that deals with that from a therapy point of view, it is. Yeah, it is. Sorry, she says, that was a long one. Would you believe I edited a lot out? I hope you made it to the pub. Keep making us laugh. You've helped more than you know. Of course we will keep making you laugh. Thank you for that lovely story.

40:25Anna Williamson:It just goes to show that, you know what, When you actually have good self-esteem and you work your way through that, amazing things happen.

40:57Anna Williamson:Exactly, inexplicably good. Offers worth bragging about. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pickup fees may apply. Hey man, you hungry? Let's order delivery. Yeah, I was thinking... Italian. Burgers? Oh. Game night just got tense. Two bros on different sides of the fence. Burgers or pasta tonight. Why can't we have food without the fact? With Wonder, you can combine 20 restaurants in one delivery, so no one has to settle. Use code MEALTIME for 50 % off your first Wonder order. Terms apply. See wonder.com slash new customer. We've got another message now. Message from Anon. So, dicks on my rice. Dicks on my arse.

41:41Dicks in my arse. Dicks on my arse. Dicks in my arse. Did you do that on him? No.

41:50Anna Williamson:You know she did it because she's not laughing uncontrollably. I like it though. Hi, Luanamo. Please keep me anonymous as this is a very awkward subject. I'm fairly new to the pod and it's been such a source of comfort and laughter while my husband and I renovate our first home. Sorry about the long message, but I want to hear your opinion. 18 months ago, I took a job at a local salon. It was a step down from my career in London, but I wanted to calm a life closer to home as I knew I'd be spending my nights renovating my new home. Really, I should have seen the red flags at the job interview. the owners who are husband and wife asked if I had children or planned to have them which actually is illegal you can't do that yeah I found the question intrusive but I brushed it off because it didn't affect me at the time and I really wanted the job the role has been great for my mental health I work on reception have lovely relationships with the clients and it's been such a relief from the chaos from my previous work I'd got fairly close to the wife who absolutely wears the trousers in the relationship unfortunately she reacts terribly whenever the subject of children or pregnancy come up if kids come into the salon salon she mutters cruel comments she pulls faces behind people's backs and talks about pregnant women as if they're useless she's actually gone as far to say all pregnant women are thick and lose themselves when they have children babe she's got some emotional baggage you know what people like this always end up pregnant and it's because they can't have children or something's going on i had a friend like this and she was so horrible about children horrible when any of us were pregnant and then she then went on to have two kids and now loves kids and it was all it's all it's all emotional yeah of course of course anyway she said i usually laugh awkwardly or roll my eyes to avoid conflict but i never agreed with her please note they do not have children and they're in their late 50s interesting when i found out i was pregnant i was over the moon yet terrified to tell my boss two other girls at work were pregnant and she constantly complained about them i even tried to hide my doctor's appointments including when i was having pain and the doctors were worried about another ectopic pregnancy eventually i told her she cried after i was keeping the baby what the fuck and made me feel guilty for being pregnant dreadful weeks later i miscarried so sorry it was the worst heartbreak i'd ever experienced i took only two days off pulled myself together and went back to work since then she's been oddly nice but she still makes comments like please don't get pregnant i can only assume something in her past has made her like this but she's never opened up and i try to maintain a level of professionalism even when she doesn't my husband and i want to start trying again but the thought of telling her fills me with dread i could leave but most jobs require a year of employment before maternity pay and we want to build our family now i'm 35 and i've already had losses i feel completely stuck between wanting a peaceful pregnancy and needing financial stability as this is a small family-run business there is no such thing as hr friends have told me to record her and take her to court but why would i want to spend what should be a joyful pregnancy dealing with legal battles other girls at work feel the same way but no one is willing to come forward together i might talk to acas but there's part of me that feels they'll push me into a legal fight more than anything i'm tired of feeling afraid to start the family we dreamed of would love to hear your thoughts what should i do well can i just tell you something now plan your family and you do what's right for you because in a year two years three years five years you will not know this woman you will not work for this woman and she will be a distant memory so do not let this woman affect the decisions for you and your family you're 35 you're not getting any younger you want to start a family and that's exactly what you should do and you should record her um and you should um you know you say there's no such thing as hr for a small business my business is small we employ well now because we're moving we've only got nine people compared to the 15 that we had but there is still such a thing as hr you still have to have hr you still have to have a process yeah you can't just yeah go free range just because there's not a lot of employees.

45:58So there might not be HR, but if you came to them with a problem, they would have to pay for a HR consultant, which is what I've had to do in my business on occasion. You have to get independent HR advice and every business, however big or however small, it's very annoying when you run a small business, is that you have to have a code of conduct and practices in place. You should have proper contracts. she should have a proper health risk you know when when nanny lauren got pregnant we had to do a risk assessment for her because she was pregnant at work and if they're not following that then they're not being correct and i get that when you've got a small business it's annoying and it's extra expense and it's hard for small businesses to do those things but they are things that you have to adhere to and i would i would record what what she says to you and i would um write things down because you might not be feeling strong enough at the moment to tackle these things when they come up.

46:57But you may well need that if you're dismissed, you know, for being pregnant. Which is obviously illegal. Yeah, from both ends of the spectrum. I get it. It's fucking annoying when you run a small business and people get pregnant. And it's annoying when you run a small business and people are off sick and stuff. But it's also life. But it's also life.

47:17Anna Williamson:And also, if we weren't having babies, I mean, then we wouldn't have any, you know, the next generation coming up underneath us. I mean, I think Lou's given some really good advice there. And I think it sounds like, and I get it as well, it's really hard when it is a boss and you're all, including you and your colleagues, are feeling nervous about it. You know, but at the same time, you know, this is your job. It is discriminatory. You cannot be discriminated against because you want to have a baby. You want to have a family. My, I mean, I don't know if you feel strong enough doing this. You might even want to have a little play around with it.

47:49Anna Williamson:But I would, as Lou said, you cannot apologise and neither should you ever apologise for having a life. You work to live, not the other way around. But this woman is clearly, it's her business. She's really invested in her business. But she is projecting her views and her ideals onto her workforce. And actually it's bullying. And it's definitely passive aggressive. It's not even passive, it's just aggressive. You know, the way she's speaking about other people, It is by design to make everybody feel fearful around having a baby because you will know, yes, possibly it is steeped in. She will absolutely have a reason for this.

48:24Anna Williamson:Something's gone on. Yeah, which she's probably she's probably will never bring to the table. And that's her personal business. But what is also your personal business is you're allowed to have a baby. Personally, if I were you, but this is easy for me to say because I'm not in your position. You don't want to be treading on eggshells if you like your job and you want to stay in your job, worrying about having a baby because you're just going to end up going stark raving mad. it's going to play into your mental health it's going to play into your self-esteem i would actually even just make it quite over and just say call it out for what it is let's call her jane jane i've really noticed over the past x amount of times you have some really strong feelings around people getting pregnant within the business and people in the company to be really clear with you having a baby is on my agenda um i will keep you in the loop as much as i am obliged to but that is part of exactly but that is part but that is part of my plan and i and i would actually call her out and not aggressively not but but name often i think when people are bullies name it for what it is jane i hear you've got an issue with people being pregnant um however that is something i'm planning to do and just so she is aware and just yeah suck it up buttercup really is what i would do it's hard look from a small business perspective and especially in a salon environment where you are employing um predominantly women of a childbearing age who are life planning it is it is hard and you do think oh fucking hell not another one you know i've and i can come at this as both sides with like the the young women i employ for for nannies and you know it's i think it's impossible to be a nanny well for me anyway and have kids well i think it's really hard it's a really hard many make it work but yeah it's it's hard if you you You know, if you're then going on holiday with a family for three weeks like my girls do.

50:05It doesn't work for you. But some nannies do wrap around exactly and bring their kids. But that is just part and parcel of employing that demographic of people. And you've got to understand that. And, you know, I will say in jest sometimes to like, no, please don't have a baby and leave me. But I would be thrilled for her when she gets married and has a baby. And, you know, I'll bloody look after it for her because she hasn't got a mum. But also we need to be supporting working mums.

50:31Anna Williamson:Being a working mum is the hardest thing in the world. And I do believe just because we can, in inverted commas, I think it's nigh on impossible emotionally and mentally. So anyone that has been a, we're working mums. It's fucking hard. You feel emotionally torn all the time, but we're trying to work. We're trying to earn money. We're trying to, you know, raise our children at the same time. So anybody that is throwing shade in that direction when we have a declining birth rate anyway, which isn't going to help any of us as we get into our golden ears. Who's going to wipe our asses? But it's awful.

51:03Anna Williamson:I think it's so disgusting to be so discriminatory over women. This woman's got a fucking issue because of her own thing. And she's projecting it on you. Stand up, ladies. These are your rights. You're allowed to have a baby. You're allowed to work. There is legislation in place to help support you on that. And you need to just own that, girl. Don't let you be browbeaten. I think as well, you are well within your rights. I know that Anna says tackle it head on. If you don't feel brave enough for that. Which you might not. You are well within your rights not to tell your employer that you're pregnant.

51:30I think until it's something like maybe you're 20 weeks. I think you're right, 20 weeks. And often you don't show until you're 20. You know, people like to think they do and they stick their tummy out and bloody caress it. There's no fucking bump there, you know, normal.

51:43Anna Williamson:I will just say, though, caveat to that, just because it depends what industry you're in, because, like, if there's an industry that has risk assessment and stuff. Yeah, but in a salon on reception, you will not be, you will not have to tell your employer about that pregnancy until you're 20 weeks. And you don't need all that stress and the risk of miscarrying again. are you going to fact check me there am I it is you must tell your employer you're pregnant no later than the 15th week before your baby's due so that is really late yeah so like 30 weeks 35 weeks no 25 weeks 25 weeks yeah but the thing is you know don't have the stress of potentially telling her whilst you're still in that risk stage prior to 12 weeks where you could miscarry because what's happened now is you've obviously had a really awful loss and I'm really sorry about that but you actually didn't need all that stress and that shit you didn't have to tell her if you feel a bit sick, you feel sick call in bloody sick call in sick, exercise your right and if you just get statutory sick pay will you just get statutory sick pay I'm sick of miscarriage, baby loss, pregnancy being minimised, I really am just because it happens obviously all the time it is a huge deal for the person that's going through it It's huge.

52:54But you have to remember, we do find out now that we're pregnant, like the instant we're bloody pregnant, which wasn't regular or normal in past times. You find out about that because of science and all this shit and really good first response. We're all peeing on a stick within a day. Yeah, but actually a lot of pregnancies do end in miscarriage because for whatever reason, that cellular structure is not compatible with life. And so you know... It's very common miscarriage. It's so common. I don't know the rates, but it's, it's, what are the miscarriage rates? It's quite high. I'd say like one in five or something.

53:31But you know, so stop telling people the instant you get pregnant as well. Wait till you're at that 12 week stage because there's so much risk prior to that. So listen, you don't apologise to have your baby. It's your family, your thing. Have that baby. Did you look at the miscarriage rates though? Yes, I did.

53:49Anna Williamson:It says, half 50 % of adults in the UK said that they or someone they know have experienced pregnancy or baby loss it's estimated that early miscarriages happen to 10 to 20 in 100 of pregnancies yeah it's a lot isn't it 10 to 20 % it's estimated that second trimester loss or late miscarriage happens to 3 to 4 % of pregnancies that's higher than I think and I think that's I'm so protective of women I'm sick and tired of people just being dickheads. So you go forth, have your baby unapologetically. You do you, honey. You're not going to know that woman in a few years. No, suck her off, man. Right, we've got another message from a non.

54:30Anna Williamson:So flick my bean. Dear Loanimo, I thought I'd write in and tell you about my daughter's nativity play from last year. Oh, here we go. Please keep me a non, purely for the funny name. Now, we struck gold last year. My little angel was going to be Mary. Big moment. Huge. Massive honour. We took the day off work, charged the phone, told every relative who've ever shown mild interest in her existence. You are my person, babes. We're all packed in the school hall, sweating in our coats. The lights go down. The angels mints on. Oh, the angels mints on. Joseph is wearing the classic tea towel, all very cute.

55:04Anna Williamson:Then it's my big girl's big moment. She walks on with her little blue robe, carrying the baby Jesus doll. I'm already tearing up. I'm thinking this is it. This is the motherly pride they talk about. I've been there. I'm with you. And then my darling daughter stops centre stage, lifts up the baby like in The Lion King and announces in her loudest possible voice, This is baby Jesus. Good on track. He was born in a stable. Daddy told me he's not real, but I think he is. I borned him. She's only gone off book. Send help. I shot daggers at my husband. She proceeds to turn to Joseph, sweet little five-year-old Liam, and shouts, Oh, you are my baby Jesus, Daddy.

55:49Anna Williamson:God is. And she fell to the floor doing that praise bow thing when you're on your knees, waving your arms up and down like salam, salam. It was full EastEnders drama. The teachers in the wings were scrabbling and gesturing for her to shut up and the audience was in hysterics. I couldn't stop staring. Mouth open at her. Where the hell had she got this from? The dad. Yeah, you know it. She then stood, loudly shushed the entire hall and started singing, The Virgin Mary had a baby boy in her loudest, most practised voice. I don't think this was meant to happen from the looks from the staff. Babes, this kid is my kind of girl.

56:26Anna Williamson:But the rest of the school joined in. At this point, I've slid so far down my chair, I'm basically under the chair. Other parents are crying with laughter. The teacher finally moved things along. But as Mary sits down in the stable, her robe gets caught, hearted at the back, and she accidentally mooned the whole front row. This kid needs a BAFTA, guys. Full arse, no pants. No pants. I shot a second dagger at my husband, who'd got her dress that morning, and I hid for the rest of the performance. That dad is getting it in the arse. I have never packed up my belongings and left the room faster than I did that day.

57:06Anna Williamson:My daughter has never been prouder of herself. We've brought her up with such an ignorant confidence that it's a win, isn't it? It is. Yeah, I'm thinking drama school might be for her. 100%. Love you girls. Hope I've given you a festive giggle. Oh, you have. Can't wait to hear all the other Lufanians Christmas stories. It's my favourite time of year. Love that. I can only pray that Elle does this next week as the star. Well, listen, please get your nativity stories and all your other guff into us. You can email us, Luanna at everythingluanna.com. You can also drop us a WhatsApp on 07745 266 947.

57:40And whilst we're here doing memos, please, if you're looking for Christmas gifts, don't forget there are very few sprinkling of tickets left for our Luana The Party. It's next year, but it's near enough sold out, but there's still a few left. So if you're looking for Christmas presents for a fellow Lufanian, do check tickets out. They are at everythingluana.com.

58:02Anna Williamson:Right, newsy bits. Now, this is an interesting one. And I have seen this lady, Georgina Cox, crying her eyes out, bless her heart, on TikTok. Sweaty Betty. We all know Sweaty Betty, the fitness brand. I think I'm wearing their leggings right now. Has offered four grand. You might be boycotting after this. Maybe. Four thousand pounds for slogan. What was the thing, Lou? Sorry. She had a slogan. Slogan for slogan, use and silence. So a personal trainer who has a good couple of hundred thousand followers has revealed that the activewear brand Sweaty Betty has offered her a settlement of£4 ,000 over a slogan dispute if she agreed to not challenge it any further for the firm to be able to use it.

58:42Anna Williamson:And indeed, if she was to agree to keep the deal confidential. So this lady is called Georgina Cox. Some of you may follow her. And she basically coined the phrase, wear the damn shorts. Well, did she? Because I'm not being funny. It's a bit like of a general phrase. it's like where the you know people have been saying that for years I would not credit her with coining this phrase now I think that's a really good point to tear up because I'm with you however what else do we say wear the damn eat the damn cake yeah wear the damn dress like it's a very common thing she can't blanket this fucking phrase so I'm with you but let's go on with this because she should be lucky with the four grand no but I'm with you however though Sweaty Betty had approached her a couple of years ago when it first came out because it did go viral it went on it was quite synonymous with her because all the new you know loose women and it was a very big viral moment for her wear the damn shorts but sweaty betty then approached her and said we love your slogan do we have your permission to use it in our advertising campaign right so um essentially she did so so she was like thank you very much yes you can use my my slogan that's fine we'll pay you a little fee to say thank you for using their thing they've gone on to do it for a few years in a row yeah and then essentially she's they've gone to do it again this year and then they they haven't paid her so this is where she's taken umbrage with it and she's gone well hang on a minute why are you now not paying me to use my slogan in 2020 she came up with the phrase 2023 she was approached by sweaty bitty marketing who said they were planning a campaign with similar messaging as you're where the damn shorts post a few years ago yeah she said that they paid her three and a half grand to promote it and use it sweaty bitty contacted her again the following year which is 2024 before its new campaign contact her again and then she says the third year which will be this year they just admitted me didn't know it was happening i was hurt they didn't reach out to me they're meant to care about women support them she sent them a legal letter and basically...

1:00:52So she sent them a cease and desist letter

1:00:53Anna Williamson:and then it's all gone quiet. Now, I think to your point, Luke, because first of all, I was thinking, oh, come on, you know, how can anyone kind of, you know, take ownership over these things? But I feel that actually, and I don't know, this is just my opinion, but if Sweaty Betty, if that was the case, why would Sweaty Betty have made an active coin of saying initially, we love your slogan, may we use it? Yes, you may. We'll give you some money, lovely. Next year, we love your slogan again. and please can we pay to use it? Yes, you can. And then the next you just go, fuck it, we're just going to use it anyway.

1:01:23Anna Williamson:So for me, I feel that the company has almost admitted that it wasn't their slogan because why would you have paid her in the first place? If you felt, do you know what? We all say, eat the damn cake, wear the damn shorts. You'd go, well, fuck it, it's not yours. I'm just going to use it. So I think that for me is where this feels a bit... Because they've acknowledged initially it was hers. Exactly. So I think for me, that is the rub here of it. Did they acknowledge initially it was hers or she is a fitness influencer and they are sweaty, sweaty. And did they want to just affiliate with her? Did they just want to affiliate with her?

1:01:56You know, she says, oh, they asked me to use it. Could have just been like, we're acknowledging you're doing this positivity with this message. We're aligned with that too. Can we collaborate together? I think there's a difference of a collaboration together. Yeah. And then outwardly them saying, you coined this phrase. We now want to use it, please. I think there's a difference and it might be that two years in a row she fitted with their marketing and on the third year she didn't and they wanted to go in a different direction. She's a bit dramatic. She's saying she can't sleep. Her hair's falling out.

1:02:28I don't buy all that shit, to be honest. Anyway, Sweaty Betty will have offered her four grand as a final settlement.

1:02:36Anna Williamson:But I would say, though, I mean, I'm with you. It does sound quite dramatic. But then what I would say is if you have really, you know, because I was watching her TikToks as well on it. And this really did catapult a lot of her brands, you know, forwards when she had this. So when you are so emotionally invested in your own growth, your own business, and I do get it. And you and I will know. But if you were, she should have copyrighted that phrase. Yeah, I'm with you. And I get she's just, oh, this little single influencer. But everybody started off somewhere as a single person. Jeff Bezos started Amazon in his garage.

1:03:09So anyone with any business nuance, not even that, just fucking regular people on the street, know that copyright exists and trademark exists. We've done it with Luana. So, you know, it's a bit like if she was so protective of that phrase, when she coined it and it went viral in 2020, she should have trademarked that, she should have copyrighted it to her. Then she wouldn't have had all these problems. And I just think that, you know, Sweaty Betty said it absolutely right. while none of us has exclusive legal rights to this phrase, we've always aimed to respect Mrs. Cox's association with it, which is basically them nodding that she was a fitness influencer, she was using this, that aligns with them.

1:03:49Really what this has come... What are they meant to do? Have her on the payroll for 10 fucking years, 15 years, while she's using it. What this has come down to is... No, fuck off, Georgina.

1:03:56Anna Williamson:But what this has come down to has been it's been in good faith. All the way along it's been in good faith. That's what's Wetty Wetty have done. Yeah, and... And she's taken it. oh I fucking own it but to your point if this was more than just in good faith that should have had a more concrete outline with it and saying we need to more formal you know ring fence I mean you and I will know as you say there's a lot we've copyrighted and locked down a lot of Luanna stuff because when we first started people were starting to nick our name and use our name and it is basically our actual names Louisa and Anna in our title so obviously we don't want people using our names because we don't want to be aligned with some things that we might not agree with you know So that's protecting our business.

1:04:36Anna Williamson:But equally, there's a lot that we do do that, I mean, no one's reinventing the wheel here. There's a lot we do on our Instas, a lot we do in our content, which you'll see many other people doing. There's lots of crossovers. Everybody crosses over. Everybody is kind of reinventing. It's even what I do with all of my life coaching stuff. They all say the same shit. They just present it differently. Exactly. But you're right. Mel Robbins, Tony Robbins, all of these big thought leaders, they all come from fundamental principles of NLP. of psychology of psychotherapy everyone just packages it differently and has their new take on it so I think I feel for the girl but I think they should have had this a lot more formally outlined if it was going to be an issue I imagine they can't formally outline it because if they could have got that phrase copyright your trademark you can bet your bottom dollar Sweaty Betty would have done it and they haven't been able to do it either and exactly that when they say well none of us has exclusive legal rights to this phrase because it's a term of words that you cannot I can bet I don't know, I haven't looked into this.

1:05:35It's good faith, isn't it? They will not be able to copyright or trademark those words together because it's too commonly used. Too commonly used, yeah. So, you know, Georgina needs to get over it now. Right, we've talked for a while, so let's move on to... It's the Widow of the Week!

1:05:52Anna Williamson:Right, first up, anonymous. So, we'll fill you up. We'll fill you up. We'll fill you up. Highly wide of vote. Love the pod. I'm nominating my partner for Widow of the Week after catching him doing something fucking weird. He wipes his butt after taking a shite, puts the shitty tissue... Oh, mate, this is Ming. Only a man would do this. I'm assuming, yeah. Puts it to his nostrils and smells the shit on the tissue before putting it down the toilet and flushing it. Why? Why? I think we're all asking that question. Hope it makes the pod of weirdo. That is rank. It's disgusting. Lottie, who's next, cannot be weirder than that.

1:06:30I mean, that's disgusting. Lottie says, Hi Luanamo, I only started listening to the pod a few months ago, currently working my way through the back catalogue whilst listening to the weekly Monday and Thursday episodes. So to say, I'm loving it, but wanted to write in with an is it weird? So I get quite a few thick black hairs that grow around my nipples and I like to save them up until maybe there are about 10 and I pluck them all out, line them up on a piece of paper to see what one is the winner.

1:06:59Anna Williamson:I'd quite enjoy this. It's my own secret game and I love it. Sometimes I'll find, sometimes I'll find ad. What? Sometimes I'll find an ad in. Oh, sometimes I'll find an ad in from some of the long hairs from my snail trail below my belly button. They sometimes win as they grow fast. Am I the only one who does this? Yeah, but I'm kind of here for it. She says she's coming to the big party in London next year. I don't do this. I don't. I'm very fair. Yeah, I'm very blonde and don't have a lot of... I'm dark, but I don't get hairy nipples. Do you not have any old hairy nipples? Well, I wonder if it's because when I had a uplift, you know they take your nipple off, don't they?

1:07:39And then they lift your boobs and then they put your nipple back on. And I'm wondering if I don't have hairy nipples because of that. But if you did, could you relate to this? You don't get hairy nipples and you're quite dark. Ims? I don't get hairy nipples. But Ims does. Do you know what? I can't relate to the hair,

1:07:52Anna Williamson:but I do like to squeeze a little bit of colostrum out of my right tit, which I can still do. Still got it, baby. I used to be able to do that in corner. Still got it. Right. Well, there's the shit sniffer. I still think the shit sniffer is weird. Shit sniffer, you're weird. That is really gross. Right, it's really gross. Lou, it is that time of the week when... Have you got a rant for us? Well, I've got a short rant, and I sent this in to you both, actually. Go on. About rubbernecking ****. That was right, lovely. So basically, I was on my way to the dentist last week and put it in my sat-nav.

1:08:24I'm all ready to go. Well, I was 20 minutes late for the dentist, and do you know why? Why? There was an accident. Not on my side of the road. On the other side of the road. And all the sick, bastard, sadist, voyeurism people are slowing down to look at what's gone on. It just fucks me off. Why? Rubberneck. Like, our side didn't need to slow down yet. Everyone's snowing down. Oh, it's an accident here, Ian. Let's have a look. Having a good old look. Oh, have they got emergency services? It really, really pissed me right off. Made you late. Made me late. 20 minutes late.

1:08:58Anna Williamson:Equals late, equals don't do it. Just don't fucking rub it. Just carry on on your journey. Stay in your lane, drive forwards, and no one's ever going to crash anyway. Good rant. Love that. Particularly this time of year. It also annoys me that people crash on motorways. Full stop. I just feel like you're in a fucking straight lane. Just stop crashing. Just drive straight, look for a gap if you want to overtake or move over, and move the fuck over. Like, I don't understand when you're driving in a straight line how you crash. unless it's someone that is like weaves in and then like cuts someone up and then a crash happens like that.

1:09:30Anna Williamson:I'm assuming that's how a crash happens. But it's just fucking annoying, okay? Just get off the road. We all see the sign of doom when the ex goes up and we're like, oh no. But rubbernecking, there's no excuse. There's not, there's not. Good rant, Lou. That is it, peeps. Don't worry, of course, we're back every single Monday. Don't have to wait until then though. On Thursday, we are back with Luana Totally Extra. It's your episode. send your emails in to Luanna at everythingluanna.com. You can jump onto WhatsApp and send a voice note in. You can send that to 07745266947. Make sure you've followed our little podcast.

1:10:07There's a tab in the top right saying follow, please click it. It means you'll get the pod directly to your device. You don't have to remember when it's out. Tell someone about us, make them listen to us, give us a five-star rating and a review. And we'll see you on Thursday. Listen to this. It's too good to miss. Da-da-da-da-da-da.

1:10:27Anna Williamson:You are welcome. Bye. Happy Christmas. Thank you. Methane poisoning. Hey, man, you hungry? Let's order delivery. Yeah. I was thinking... Italian. Burgers? Oh. Game night just got tense. Two bros on different sides of the fence. Burgers or pasta tonight. Why can't we have food without the fire? With Wonder, you can combine 20 restaurants in one delivery, so no one has to settle. Use code MEALTIME for 50 % off your first Wonder order. Terms apply. See wonder.com slash new customer.