In short
The episode is a late-night catch-up/rant-and-advice show. Hosts discuss: buyer’s remorse vs “buying rejoice” car buying (Carvana ad), their current “ailments” (ear infection/earlobe inflammation; dog’s sedated ear issue), and a supermarket toilet disaster involving a 6-year-old who opens a disabled toilet door to self-checkouts while the parent is using it. They swap travel stories from Spain (Ibiza/Nobu; visiting horse trainer Nikki near Alicante; decorating a white birthday party; meeting Olympic dressage rider Carl Hester and his partner Ben). They also recommend true-crime viewing: The Witness (drama) and Murder of Rachel Nical (documentary), plus BBC iPlayer’s The Mother of All Cons about Believe in Magic charity fraud suspicions. Guests/messages include: a listener whose partner has erectile dysfunction from type 1 diabetes considering a penile implant; advice includes revisiting options and exploring non-penetrative sex/toys. Another listener shares a “domme wife” story: charging her husband for household chores/sex roleplay, leading to renewed intimacy. No named guests appear; it’s primarily hosts and anonymous listener messages.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOPersonal Updates and Apologies
0:32 to 2:26
Hosts share personal experiences and apologize for the previous episode's delay.
“Social media is to be banned for under 16s in the UK.”
Pet and Health Anecdotes
2:26 to 4:33
Discussion about health ailments including pet problems and personal health issues.
“And you say, listen, there is no iron team, Zispols.”
Shopping Woes and Family Life
4:33 to 5:41
Hosts rant about shopping experiences and family toilet issues.
“I was trying to find, well, I could only find some of the kids' Savlon.”
Spanish Getaway and Party Planning
5:41 to 12:15
Discussion about a trip to Spain, party planning, and meeting interesting people.
“But it's like a bit of a mini rant, actually.”
Reflecting on Parenting and Adolescence
12:15 to 14:00
Hosts reflect on their children's growth and adolescent experiences.
“Well, actually, she's 16 the day this episode goes on.”
Nostalgic Teen Adventures
14:00 to 16:45
Explore humorous and awkward teenage memories, including adventures in a caravan.
“I always remember one of my mates, she's fully listening to this now.”
First Day at Senior School
16:45 to 19:00
Hear a funny recount of a disastrous first day at senior school involving a pigeon incident.
“But I remember my first day, my first time, I remember getting off the school bus and it's like, and we all knew how important that first day was just to not screw it up and not target yourself in any way.”
Reflections on Growing Up
19:00 to 20:09
Discussing how past experiences shape adulthood and the contrast with current habits.
“I think we need to stop doing poncy bougie stuff.”
Tennis Adventures
20:09 to 20:59
Sharing experiences from a recent tennis event and the humorous dynamics of the day.
“Alex was aghast and did a fantastic MOI role, actually, when Emma Raducanu was about to win.”
Documentary Recommendations
20:59 to 22:19
A discussion on gripping documentaries and dramas to watch, including one about Rachel Nical.
“I couldn't actually because I actually was also that person.”
Show all 23 chapters
Intriguing True Crime Stories
22:19 to 26:30
Exploring a shocking charity scandal involving a woman, her daughter, and deception.
“So I'm going to do that tonight because I have just finished.”
Listener Messages and Contributions
26:30 to 28:00
Reading and discussing a listener's experience with a workplace mishap related to a Christmas dinner.
“I'm a relatively new listener, but I've somehow managed to catch up, wow, from 2020 to 2025 whilst also listening to the weekly episodes as they come out.”
The Awkward Secret Santa Story
28:00 to 30:56
A humorous recounting of a secret Santa mishap involving an unexpected wishlist.
“EA's last office manager asking whether I'd received my invitation to join Elfstar Elfstar where I'd been assigned a secret Santa.”
Navigating Erectile Dysfunction in Relationships
30:56 to 34:04
An anonymous listener shares her struggles with her partner's erectile dysfunction and the impact on their relationship.
“I've been with my partner nearly three years.”
Exploring Alternatives to Penetrative Sex
34:04 to 37:36
The hosts discuss various ways to maintain intimacy and explore sexual satisfaction beyond traditional methods.
Rediscovering Passion through Dominance
37:36 to 42:08
A listener shares her experience of reigniting intimacy by taking on a dominant role in her relationship.
“I had to write in, but please keep me a non.”
Exploring the Dom Persona
42:08 to 43:09
Listeners share their experiences and thoughts on relationships and self-discovery.
“I also love the fact that I have a little growing bank account just for me.”
Discussion of Sex Work Dynamics
43:10 to 44:41
The hosts discuss the implications of a listener's unique relationship dynamic involving sex work.
“you need to just move straight on to being a dom.”
UK Social Media Ban Proposal
44:49 to 51:32
The hosts delve into the recent news of a proposed social media ban for children under 16 in the UK.
“It has been dominating the news over the last few days and quite rightly I watched this unfold.”
Katie Price's Reunion Drama
51:32 to 54:04
Hosts discuss the latest developments in Katie Price's relationship with Lee Andrews.
“but can we just do the little update that Lee Andrews and Katie Price are reunited?”
Weirdos of the Week
54:10 to 56:00
Listeners share their quirky behaviors, bringing humor to the podcast.
“Right, it's time for It's the Widow of the Week.”
Listener's Obsession with Dog Paws
56:00 to 56:58
A listener shares their quirky obsession with their dog's paws, including the unique smell.
“Right, next we've got a non, so poor Trisha.”
Rant Against Early Arrivals
56:58 to 59:18
A discussion on the annoyance of people arriving early, with insights on punctuality preferences.
“Attached is my dog and his beautiful paws.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:01Evening. Buyer's remorse. Buy a new car? I'll be moving in. Let's get started. Uh, sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana. You what? Yeah, great price. I even have seven days to love it or return it. So there's no... No, no buyer's remorse. More like buyer's rejoice? I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it. Buyer's rejoice. Buy your car today on Carvana. Limitations and exclusions may apply. See our seven-day return policy at Carvana.com.
0:32Anna Williamson:this is a global production be warned it's luanna and this podcast contains honest upfront opinions rants bants and general explicit content but you know you love it i have never really been into this before but it awoke something i thought was long gone how do you feel zizbags having a 16 year old. I'm bald. Social media is to be banned for under 16s in the UK. I **** a lot during my GCSE revision. I'm not going to lie, Lou. Quite a little tingle in the mingle.
1:11Anna Williamson:Hola. Guten Tag. Bonjour. Bonsoir. Bonsoir. Oh, it's Luanna. It's a late one, guys. We're doing a little cheeky evening record for you tonight. It's nearly 8.30pm. It's late for us. Oh, I'm tired. Oh, I'm tired, Luana. And I'm not going to lie, we normally record Luana in the day, and I'm not going to lie, Lulu, I've had a little Aperol sprints. Have you? Well, I have been in Spain, so I landed today. I've had a massive Indian. I landed. Best mate Lucy from Dubai is over. She got to my house before me. so we've had a little Indian and now she's, well, I just put Clemmie to bed. She's going to put Indy to bed while we're doing this because, of course, we need to bring you the hot stories of the week plus all of our guff and what we've been up to.
2:05Firstly, public apology. Sorry about last week's episode. Totally my fault. I've been in and out of different appointments for a few weeks now and we were meant to record and I had an MRI that ran over and I was in that fucking tube for like two hours and I just couldn't make the record, guys. And then I flew to Spain.
2:25Anna Williamson:It got to the wire, didn't it? So that's what happened. It got to the wire. And you say, listen, there is no iron team, Zispols. We are a team. We are a fucking duo. So everybody was here at my house ready to record and I was not there. But it wasn't your fault. We all know what it's like on medical appointments. When they run over and then they dick about and they need to find out just clerical shit. and then yeah we got close to the wire and we made an executive decision guys we didn't want to give you some substandard bollocks short episode so we thought you know what we're just going to be human we're going to be human well it's human life happens right we bring this podcast to you every single week gladly so um but yes this it's the ailment of the year here literally jesus i mean but anyway when i know more i'll update you on all my ailments but it's Like everything, isn't it, Lulu?
3:16Anna Williamson:You know I love a bloody ailment. It's good to just check when anything feels a bit dicky. So, yeah, you're doing the right thing. Oh, cool. Oh, talking about dicky. Mm-hmm. Oh, cool. What the hell was that noise? He's got, he was at the vet today. Why? And he had to be sedated because he had his ear. I've been away, but he was, like, really crying when anyone touched his ear. And we had to take him to the vet. And then he had like a big grass seed in his ear and he's got like a little infection and he was just scratching his ear and it was hurting. That's what that noise was. Do you know something?
3:52Anna Williamson:I knew I had a connection with that pooch. Have you got an ear infection? Because it's my ailment of the week. So on my earlobe, I'm showing you now. I can't see it. It's a bit pixelated. We're remote, by the way, guys. Hi, if you're watching on YouTube, it's remote. Hi, guys. You'll have no idea whether we're in the same room or not. Well, we practically, I've got my Vimta. I'm trying to sober up after my Aperol Spritz. But no, I've got a dicky ear. I woke up the other morning, and you know, like that crust you get on the piercing part of your earlobe? And I was like, ow, what is that? And I haven't worn earrings for ages.
4:24Anna Williamson:Don't know what it is, babes, but I've got ever such an inflamed earlobe. Wow, it's a bit pussy. It's a very sore and stinging. Maybe you should bathe it in some Epsom salts and chamomile tea or something. I might do that. I was trying to find, well, I could only find some of the kids' Savlon. but I didn't put some manuka honey on it apparently that's good remember when I slagged for using manuka honey and then loads of people are like actually it is really good and it's it is medically proven that manuka honey is amazing so there you go put some manuka honey on it I'll I'll do the manuka honey and then we can all be massive hypocrites and go yeah I just love manuka really expensive manuka honey it is not in aldi not in aldi I've got back into my aldi obsession recently and oh do you know what four quid for some of that bad boy well that's not the good stuff then well they say well because they say if it's cheap it's not good because it has to be like proper golden manuka or something well i'm not i'm not going to argue against the aldi gods quite honestly not for four quid i'm not oh that reminds me actually speaking of we're going to say we'll be not two this week i have um but at the mercy of my bloody kids this week we had Talking of Aldi, I had yet another, and I don't know if your kids do this.
5:40Anna Williamson:Your kids seem to be a little bit more civilised than mine in recent times. Yeah. But it's like a bit of a mini rant, actually. My kids, the amount of times I say before we leave the house, does anyone need the toilet? Anyone need a wee or a poo? No, no. Anyone need a wee or a poo? My ruddy kids, and it's particularly Elle. I'm going to call out my six-year-old, right? The amount of times, and she does it every time we're in a grotty toilet. We get into the supermarket. Oh, it's so grim. She was like, I need the toilet. And I'm like, fuck's sake. Well, I didn't swear on her, obviously. But I've just asked you 15 minutes ago.
6:13Anna Williamson:A little Tesco toilet will skiddies up the wall. Skiddies up the wall. Why do supermarket toilets stink to high heaven? Like, it's not sanitary. They're in a place that sells food and they stink to high heaven. And do you know what? We ended up in this bloody toilet. And it was one of the toilets where it's kind of like a disabled toilet, but everyone needs to use it. It's just the one toilet. but it opened out a door that opened out into the uh tills into the cashier so she's in on the lav she's like keep the door open keep the door open um and then she's i need a poo i need a poo um great of course you do so i'm standing there with the trolley uh blocking it with my foot jamming open then i need the toilet so i'm like well listen while i'm here kid like off you get it's like contagious isn't it it's contagious so i said well look do me a favor so i said wait stand outside the door and be good and hold on to the trolley no i don't want to close the door i'm scared close the bloody door i'm going to wait bear in mind this door is opening out to 12 checkouts so then no don't don't i don't in case someone in case i get lost so i was like fine put your knee in the door while i quickly put my kegs down and go for a waz in the middle of the supermarket so i do that she looks at me the little bastard does the look raises the eyebrows and then slowly I went, don't you dare.
7:29Anna Williamson:No, she doesn't. I went, don't you dare. Not since your brother did that at the age of three years old in an Italian restaurant in Leicester Square, as this happened to me. She looked at me and she did. She did it. She did. She just went. The evil. Wiley, the evil. Evil L came out. Evil L. Pushed that door wide open as I'm sat there facing the 12 self-checkouts, the real checkouts, and the revolving doors as I'm sat on that bog. Well, I've never pulled my trousers up so goddamn quick in my life, but that little git. Did anyone see? Or do you think you got away with that? Definitely a couple of people were trying to not pretend they hadn't seen.
8:08Anna Williamson:But they had lately seen me. Well, I did the shouty whisper. Will you get that? Anyway, that's not fun. Anyway, you've been having a lot more glamorous time. How's Spain? Well, I went to, I actually had a lovely time. I went to Ibiza. but I did not do any partying it was lovely went to the nobu hotel it's really nice actually and did nothing for like two and a half days with Andrew which was so needed literally did nothing we never do nothing and we just sat on the sun lounges like chatting and love that just chilling basically and then I flew from there yeah and then I flew we flew from there to horse trainer Nikki's house you know my lovely horse trainer so where does she live?
8:56she lives in Spain near Alicante in Javier oh Javier's lovely yeah it's really nice where she lives and her house she's done all her house up it's stunning so went there she was having a birthday party white party and of course I took a suitcase and a half full of decor to decorate her party go on what did she do? So we just did all like over her pool. We did like a, you know, invisible fishing wire with all white paper lanterns hanging. And then I did a like washing line of white fans with little wooden pegs. Just white. Just white. And then I did like, I did a little photo sort of boothy thing.
9:40No, it was really nice and made loads of flowers for it. So it was really lovely. and she has obviously like been in the horsey world for years and was, she's like, you know, very good, very good but had to stop riding because of her back. But she was like, you know, a limp. It was, yeah, she's got really bad metal work in her back because she can't ride. She's super lovely and she's super posh. She's really posh. She's super posh. She was born into British aristocracy. You can tell. She's got that air of someone. I can't even say that. Aristocracy. Silver spoon. Aristocracy, that's it. she's proper silver spoon but she's lovely yeah and um her favorite word is fuck as well she goes
10:17Anna Williamson:oh fuck do you know what but when people say it it's did posh and irish people when they say fuck it isn't a swear word it's not a swear word facts posh and irish people facts so no it was really really good and she's been you know the years she was on the british team she's trained the british team trained the spanish olympic team and stuff so she's um her credentials are great which means that she has friends, like all her friends, obviously, from that industry. And you won't know who this is, but someone that I've loved watching for years is a guy called Carl Hester. You heard of him? Yes, I do know.
10:52Anna Williamson:Through my parents. Only because my parents are big horsey people. Well, he's represented Britain at the Olympics, I don't know, loads of times. You've actually mentioned him to me. Yeah, because all of those riders, I really, you know. I love all of that because it's what I love doing isn't it yeah so he was there got to meet him and he was so nice and you know when you meet someone yeah and you just want them to be nice because you admire them and then you don't want them to be like a dick do you because just never meet your heroes right never meet your heroes he was so lovely and on top of that his partner is so much fun he listens to our podcast his partner Ben yeah and he's like super cute like really good looking Ben.
11:36Anyway, I want Ben to be my new friend.
11:38Anna Williamson:I was just about to say, obviously it's a wee, do you think these could potentially be part of the friendship group? Well, maybe we'll bring them into the fold, but Ben and I like properly hit it up. Everyone at the party was so lovely. It's like a two year waiting list, our friendship group. It's like Soho House. Do you know, loads of people are giving up their Soho House memberships now. Quite a lot. Yeah, quite a few people I've spoken to recently. But no, it was really, really lovely. And then, yeah, got back this afternoon. And from one party to another, Dixie is turning 16. Yeah. And so got her party.
12:16Well, actually, she's 16 the day this episode goes on. How? Yeah, which is in a couple of days' time.
12:20Anna Williamson:Got her party over the weekend. I know. I'm coming to it. Me and the A-Dog, we're obviously invited. Oh, yeah. I forgot you're coming. We'll come along as well. Yeah. I've got her and her mates. They're outside at the minute making decorations for her. I thought I put them to work. Yeah, bloody right, bloody right. How do you feel, I can't believe this, that you, when I met you, she was like a little dot, like little proper little piggy tails and everything. How do you feel, Zizbags, having a 16-year-old? I'm just inches away from freedom, really, aren't I? One down, two to go. One down, two to go.
12:56She wants to go to a different school as well for sixth form. Her exams are all finished now. so I've had a child that has survived GCSE is there are other mums that will be listening to this nodding in agreement and I have to say look I don't know if I got off lightly right but she's just been a little dreamboat my dicks what as in just got on with it no fussing been revising for like 6 to 8 hours a day like she has done the best she could do like she's worked super hard and so whatever results she gets I know that like she honestly she works so so hard but we're out the other side I have now had a child that has done GCSEs how nuts is that I remember doing my GCSEs so do I and I felt like Billy Big Bollard I wanked a lot during my GCSE revision I remember masturbating a lot like honestly I don't know I don't know if I just feel like mid revision like revising on my bed and then I'd be like oh but it's when it was the summer I discovered like masturbation yeah but we all
13:59Anna Williamson:Do you remember when you discovered masturbation? And you did it like all the time. Yeah, I remember. I always remember one of my mates, she's fully listening to this now. She knows who she is. I'm going to call her Cathy. That's her nickname. But I remember her family, they lived by all my mates. We grew up in the villages and stuff like that. And their parents had this house with quite a bit of land, sort of barns and stuff like that. And they had this caravan, right? They just sort of like found this kind of like run down caravan. So they parked it up in a field. well you ever broke a run-down caravan to a bunch of horny teenagers i mean shagging non-stop it was it was the shagga van and the shag wagon yes shag wagon and i definitely i definitely like a lot of snogging went on like and a lot of spin the bottle and stuff went on in that in that caravan i remember spin the bottle do you remember and there was like one super fit boy in our year that i think we all had a go on like we all snogged him like all at the same time as well I do remember it was around that time that a couple of us, we started talking about, you know, touching yourself down there.
15:04Anna Williamson:And I do remember that's when we started talking about masturbation. And it was like a whole new world opened up to us. Do you know what I mean? Stubbies, having a little stubby and then a little freak. I remember, do you remember like searching for cigarette butts on the floor? Yes. We always look at, and you'd feel well chuffed if you got one that had like twos up left on it. A few puffs in it, yeah. Yeah, and you'd re-spark that. Now I hate smoking. It's probably why. Probably because he was like sucking some homeless person's fag butt. I mean, what were we thinking? I love that like grimy.
15:39You know, like when you're younger, you just don't care about grime and stuff. And then you get old and boring, don't you? And you're like, oh, Nick, let's mask wash before we shag. And that actually just takes all the fun out of here. We just need to go back to our grimy cells.
15:50Anna Williamson:I mean, we used to do fives up on a ciggy around the back of the youth wing at school. Like five of us would be sharing an embassy, number one. Or if I have a chischanel with friends, I have to change the little top. Oh, change the little, because what happened to us, we became, maybe we became grown-ups. But I always remember it was always the bad end of the, if you were sharing a ciggy, if someone would go, saves, give us saves on that. Did you ever do that? saves and that was literally like the last bum sucky drag on the end of that soggy old fag. No one even liked smoking we just did it because like we thought it was cool basically.
16:27Anna Williamson:Have I ever told you about my first day at school or first day at senior school where I think probably thinking back to it now my path was already laid out of just being a total tit right just a total bellend doesn't matter how much finesse I try and implement at times as you know it just never fucking works we go to some really sassy places and I always let the team down and I'm just used to that now and you're all used to that for me which is lovely you just accept me for who I am it's like when Anna brings like a briefcase handbag to a beach club yes and I'm like babe please don't bring that back it was like your work bag it's like you literally carry that around all the time you can not get a new bag you have got a new bag now it's okay I'm I'm you've taught me how to buy it.
17:10Anna Williamson:I'm like, fine, I'll get a new bag. The fannies, it's all a ploy. I just do the bridesmaids. Help me, I'm poor. Buy me a bag, Lulu. But I remember my first day, my first time, I remember getting off the school bus and it's like, and we all knew how important that first day was just to not screw it up and not target yourself in any way. You don't want to be the loser. Don't want to be the loser. You don't even want to, you don't even want to stick your head above that parapet. No. I remember I was friends, I was a bit ballsy, a bit of a tomboy. And I remember I knew, I was already mates with a couple of boys from the older years just because we used to knock about in the village so they were like so they were like getting off the bus you're like do you want to come for a fag around the back of the easter egg right uh and i'm like yeah so i'm like first year so trotting around around the and i remember standing around the back of this concrete crappy building like halfway in a ditch there was always like a ditch wasn't there and you've got a selection of sick formers and you know whatevers and i remember they're like feeling so cool that i was one of the first years that was around there having a fag and i remember i obviously must have done two's up on a ciggy but at that very moment a pigeon shat on my head
18:21Anna Williamson:and it was a proper splatty one you know the ones that hit your car and then spray over your car bonnets you need to get invalidated that literally hit with right on my head like an egg to being shut on in 0.2 seconds and then I bet everyone like was like like you know when everyone's like dramatic running running back from you and then you'll keep trying to play it cool even though I spent the first part of my first day at senior school in the girls bogs with those green paper towels do you remember the ones you get the stacks sodden in water trying to wipe the bird shit out of my hair and it was even worse because I think I was sporting that oh no it was a bit before I sported the whole bleached front ends oh yeah oh yeah you just had the two bits hanging down which you did with sunning yeah oh good times Lou those were the days Those were the days.
19:25Anna Williamson:Oh, well, listen. Now, though, look at us. I think we need to stop doing poncy bougie stuff. You've been in Spain. Something else I've done this week, I went to Queen's. A quick shout-out as well. I went to Queen's Tennis this week, saw Emma Raducanu play, which was really quite fun. I want to say hello to Sarah and Cheska, massively fan-ians. I know they are listening as well. Although Alex was incensed by me, just as Emma Raducanu was. We had very nice thoughts of talent, which was lovely. Very nice. Not the days I've been shat on by a pigeon and going fives up on an embassy number one. See, you've gone up in the world.
19:56Anna Williamson:I've changed, Lou, I've changed. You wouldn't know the good times without having those other times. Exactly. I won't know bad times. They've shaped you. Formative times, formative. The formative. Pre and post. Pre and post. Alex was aghast and did a fantastic MOI role, actually, when Emma Raducanu was about to win. I decided I needed the toilet. I was quite desperate. So I nipped out. While I was there, I thought, oh, I'm in hospitality now. They've just popped out the cream tea. I sat there on my own in hospitality watching it on the telly, stuffing his face with the cream tea. And when she came in, she'd won and he came in.
20:39Anna Williamson:He was like, where have you been? He's like, I bloody knew it. I just know you too well. I just knew only you can sack off watching Emma Raducanu when the entire place is watching her to go and eat. And I'm like, yes, that's who you've married, my friend. Well, you were still watching it. Exactly. She was very good. Do you know what? I've never been that into tennis. I don't understand the scoring still. It's been explained to me a lot. You don't need to try. Well, I did make Ali. I couldn't actually because I actually was also that person. I can't remind me how you play again. It's like, no, those are the doubles.
21:12Anna Williamson:Juice. I was like, oh, right. Love juice. Oh, I don't know that. 30 love. I don't understand the scoring. No, just whack a ball. Off we go. Wear a pretty dress.
21:25It's the record. It's the record. It's the record. It's the record. It's the record.
21:30Anna Williamson:Do you want to go first or should I go first? Well, I feel like I don't know if I've. No, actually, I know what I'm going to do. I'm going to do watch. Watch it. Oh, okay. Oh, damn it. Me too. It's okay. Go. Go. Oh, I wonder if it's going to be the same thing. No, I don't think so. The murder of Rachel Nicol. Oh, no. Go on. Oh, it's a good one. it's a good one so i always feel a bit weird saying it's a good one about someone that's been murdered gripping british british documentary and also on netflix is a drama about it called the witness so there's a three-part acted drama called the witness and then there's the sort of hour and a half documentary about the same thing which is about the the murder of a lady called Rachel Nacal back in the uh 90s I think it was and she was murdered on Wimbledon Common in front of her like two three-year-old son um and it follows the story of that and how like the police tries to use a son as a witness and he actually was able at like age two to give a description of this guy and it's a really um it's a really really good good watch both of them actually both the documentary and the drama so what's it called really recommend because we always talk about uh things to watch in our group and stuff and it's good it's a it's a goodie yeah that's good remind me again what it is it's called well the drama is called the witness and the documentary i think is just called the murder of rachel nical right thank you love do you know what i I am ready for a new watch.
23:09Anna Williamson:So I'm going to do that tonight because I have just finished. And sorry, LeFanny is to give you a double watch. I've pitched on my floor. Oh, no. Hold on. Oh, no. Oh, dear. Also, guys, Imo is very much laid out this wonderful episode for us. But because we've had to jump on late tonight, she is teaching a dance class at the moment. So she might pop in towards the end. A little bit of a casual catch up tonight. But just let you know where Imsi is. So we won't have her recoseco for now. but hopefully ours will make up for it and we'll have a double one from Imo next week I reckon go on what's your what's your recco secco this week right well mine's also a watch and I've I've I'm just oh my gosh my mate Gav recommended it to me actually the other day and I've just binged it now I don't know if you've watched this yet it's called the mother of all comms no you are going to love it I've heard of it Lou you're going to love it it's on BBC iPlayer um actually BBC2 ended up airing it as well this week the mother of all cons it's a three-part um psychological who done it type like you know like the netflix kind of true story or not true story true story it's true story do you remember it's so good now according to gab this was a podcast about five years ago but it's now become and there's more evidence that's come forward and more talking heads and that's why it's become this three-part uh bbc um i play the mother of all cons so it follows do you remember i don't know if you are because i actually remember this charity a charity called believe in magic okay was it like a children's yes like a children's um hospice like make wishes come true yeah so that's i'd like to point out it's a very different charity and i'm sure very legit but it was a similar yes so it's called believe in magic and it had the backing of one direction and send like huge people and they had a big thing called the cinderella ball and i remembered it because I was invited like way back in the day, like 10 years ago.
25:02Anna Williamson:I was invited to that. Yeah, it was huge, right? It was back in the day. Yeah. So it was set up by a lady called Jean and her daughter Meg. And Meg was dying of a brain tumor, okay? And Meg was in her late teens, early 20s, dying of brain tumor. And the mom and Meg set up this charity, Believe in Magic, to make the wishes come true of children with terminal cancer, okay? A beautiful, beautiful sentiment. However, I don't want to spoil it A couple of people started to smell a rat And started to think, actually Has she got a brain tumour? And this charity that we're all ploughing in Hundreds of thousands of pounds Where is that money really going?
25:48Anna Williamson:Has Meg actually got a brain tumour? No I'm going to leave it there Because I do not want to spoil it It's an absolute ripperoo You are going to love it And I know you'll watch it and then go, yes. I remember being invited. I think I even met that woman, the mum. Well, give it a watch. BBC iPlayer, the mother of all cons. It's amazing. Did she have other children, Jean? All the children, yes, who also feature in the documentary and it becomes a lot of people and a real whodunit kind of investigative case on trying to get to the bottom and the truth of what is really going on. It is shocking. there are twists and turns that you don't expect coming and my goodness what a story uh yeah so give that a watch that is my recuseco well both watch alongs this week from us right should we kick into messages yeah let's go for it let's see what you gang have got for us this week do you want to do this one we've got a message from anon so lou recant brilliant um big big hello to lu Animo.
26:55I'm a relatively new listener, but I've somehow managed to catch up, wow, from 2020 to 2025 whilst also listening to the weekly episodes as they come out. My husband was very confused when old COVID news clips were suddenly blaring out of my speaker in 2026. I don't know whether this just falls into shit gift. I knew I was stupid when or just public humiliation, but here goes. Settle in, peeps. In January, I started a new job and my new company invited me to their Christmas dinner in December. For context, it's a very small team and they'd organized a lovely dinner at a nice restaurant. Unfortunately, I couldn't make the original date because it fell on my 30th birthday.
27:36So I politely declined and said I was looking forward to seeing everyone in the new year. Now my boss very kindly rescheduled the entire dinner to accommodate me, meaning they lost the original booking what a nice new boss um and everyone had to go somewhere else at a less convenient time so before I'd even properly started I was already feeling like a massive inconvenience about three weeks before the dinner I got an email from one of the EA's last office manager asking whether I'd received my invitation to join Elfstar Elfstar where I'd been assigned a secret Santa. In the email, she suggested I log in and build a wish list so my person could buy me something that I'd actually like.
28:19Given the dinner was still a few weeks away and absolutely everything can be panic bought on Prime the night before, I decided I'd come back to it later. A few days later, a group email went around reminding everyone to buy and wrap their gifts. Several partners replied saying they'd already bought theirs, that the wish list had been really helpful and they couldn't wait. At this point, I thought, oh gosh, I should probably sort mine out. So I logged into Elfster, clicked on my wishlist, thinking I'd quickly had a few normal adult things like candles or QuickBooks, only to realize a wishlist already existed.
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28:53For context, I hadn't used my Elfster account linked to my personal email for about seven years. The last time I'd used it was for a friend's joke Christmas party when I was about 22. The preview image for the list was already concerning enough. So in immediate panic, I clicked it and found approximately 30 items, including a foxtail butt plug, beginner BDSM kit, advanced BDSM kit, a 10 inch realistic dildo, a hot wax sex kit, restraints, whips. Well, you get the idea. Naturally, I then asked my husband to test whether the list was actually public. And yes, it absolutely was. anyone with my email address could see the whole thing.
29:38At that moment, I realized my entirely new office has most definitely already seen my full sexual awakening starter pack. Panicking, I deleted the list and quickly replaced it with the most aggressively wholesome wishlist imaginable. Scented candles, cookbooks, nice olive oil, fluffy gloves. After telling a few friends and family members what happened, every single one of them agreed. This may genuinely be one of the worst things that could happen before starting a new job great anyway the night of the dinner came round and of course my secret santigift was the last one to be handed out throughout the meal there'd already been multiple comments about how helpful the wish lists had been how much they'd enjoyed seeing each other's someone even made a very pointed joke about a toy fox and when i finally received my extremely tame wholesome gift i was repeatedly asked whether it was exactly what I wanted from my wish list.
30:36I have never wanted the ground to swallow me whole more in my entire life. I wish I could say this is a standalone story, but unfortunately moments like these seem to follow me around. Anyway, I have told most people this story and work clearly knows it's me, so I don't need to be anonymous, but given the story I would love one of Imo's porn star names. I love the pod. Shout out to that lady.
30:58Anna Williamson:Oh, and all that jazz. Oh, and all that jazz. Where is that? brilliant oh you see she's never come again that all that jazz no i think she logged off in 2021 we pissed her off um you've actually given us a really good idea for that secret santa list so thank you for that elfter make a note of it immo make a note of it please um right message from anonymous so veronica next hi luanna and immo hope you're all good please give me a granny name i'm in a predicament and i need to share and hopefully get some advice from my favorite gals settle in peeps. I've been with my partner nearly three years.
31:35Anna Williamson:He's 48 and I'm 34. He has type 1 diabetes and as a result he has erectile dysfunction. He told me this a few weeks into our relationship and we had a conversation and wanted to try all avenues to be able to get down to it. Well three years later and we still haven't been able to have sex. He's tried the tablets, doesn't work. He's tried the injection and whilst it kind of worked it wasn't enough for us to be able to have sex. So he's been seeing a urologist about the penile implant that has a little button that's in the testicles that's pushed and then the implant inflates. Oh yeah, you press it.
32:08Anna Williamson:Wow, giving him an erection. Yes, I've heard of this. Yeah, apparently it's amazing. Wow, modern technology, eh? Sounds great, right? Well, he doesn't know if he wants to go through with the op because he doesn't think his penis will be big enough with the implant to be able to have sex is about three inches flaccid and he's been told by the doctor that with the implant it'll be around about that size when it's pumped up he's lost some length over the years as he's been unable to get a full erection so there's some issue uh lost there what it'll be three inches still yeah so three inches well still three inches okay so she says we buy a penis pump to see if that will work.
32:48Anna Williamson:I mean, I can't really say the investment in this is admirable. It gets big, and I mean big, but even with a ring on, it doesn't stay up. It's like our pussy pumps. It is, it is. It just deflates as soon as he takes the pump off. I don't know what else we can try to have a sex life. I'm only in my mid-30s, so I feel like I should have at least another 20 years of rampant shagging ahead of me. But if I stay with this man, who I love. Oh, you're horny. I know, who I love. I'm not going to have that. Everything else about our relationship is amazing. We go on holidays, support each other emotionally, have great communication, which has been lacking in my previous relationships, and have hopes for a long future together.
33:27Anna Williamson:But I don't know if I want to have a completely sexless life at the wee age of 34. I just don't know what to do. It's really upsetting me. I know I really feel for you actually, babe. It's really upsetting me as I feel as though I'm missing out on one of the most important parts of a relationship. I want to revisit the conversation about the implant as in my mind a smaller erect penis that can get the job done and give us both pleasure is better than no erection at all it's got me really down and now i'm second guessing whether i can be in this relationship i don't mean to come off as selfish either no you don't sound selfish but can i never can i really never have sex again any suggestions or advice would really help thank you take care i've got a suggestion i don't know about you i mean i think i think this is really difficult actually and it's really brave of you actually to bring this i think up into the ether and to talk about it um like i would say sex is important if it's important to you right and it clearly is important to you and yeah but i will and i'm sure you probably agree as well though like companionship and having a loving trusting relationship is is priceless as well my advice is like possibly maybe do revisit that but you can have really fulfilling sex without it being penetrative sex and like I'm just wondering if like I know it isn't possibly as intimate as you'd want it to be like his penis but you know could he not use sex toys on you you know could you not even explore like using some form of strap-on do you know what I mean like I for him like I'm sure there are sort of various other options like if that is a real thing that you feel like you want to feel like you know whose penis going inside you i'm just imagining a strap on on a i mean it's quite a it's quite a vision i agree but i'm just wondering if like it is important to you and i'm not playing on top of a dick well but but there are there are inventions like that no i agree with you i think there are definitely and also there are other ways to be intimate and reach orgasm without having full penetration and i think good fingering like just explore those yeah good old fingering but no on a serious note i think that definitely revisit that conversation about the implant again and i personally wouldn't break up with him because of this because actually yes you're 34 now and you think you're going to be rampant for ages but it doesn't always happen like that and i always think you're not i don't think you're married to him because he's a partner and you've been together for three years but I do think like you can't just like sack people off because they're ill my god the amount of times that I've been ill I like not been able to like shag my husband for like months on end when I broke my back and stuff like I mean I'd be devastated if he was like well I'm breaking up with you because can't get my rocks off because you're like not 100 % like it's not very it's like not a very kind thing like way to be I don't think I don't think it's you know and also there are other ways around it that you can feel fulfilled and I think that you should definitely explore those I think sometimes we put and it's natural to feel like this I think in that you know we often put the thing that we can't have on a bit of a pedestal and look let's be honest you know sex is a huge part of a romantic sexual relationship particularly if you want children and stuff like that but even if you did what i don't know if you do or you or not but you can have children with him other ways you know through through um fertility treatment if if it's not working you know p in the v so to speak sorry to sound so vulgar with it but yeah i think like to lose point i mean actually i'll be honest with you most people i think statistically don't quote me on this but statistically a lot of women in particular prefer other ways of reaching orgasm than penetrative sex so for me a lot of women can't come through no so I would have a little bag of love like get some lovely little toys and get him to use those toys on you you know and if you and maybe that can be a good way of exploring it and it might take the pressure off you guys as a couple as well but I think you sound like a really nice couple and to lose point I think yeah don't don't throw the towel in just on that it is important to you but I think there are lots of options open to you good luck yeah good luck uh we've got another message now from anon so adele computer oh adele computer i get it hi ladies i was recommended your pod and managed to binge listen all episodes in just under 18 months wow that's a lot like considering there's two episodes a week for like the last eight years we've done like finally up to date and eagerly await the twice weekly drop.
38:07I had to write in, but please keep me a non. I was recommended this pod by eight close friends who are all ride or die Lufanians and they have no idea what I'm about to share. Oh, I like this juice. Oh, settling. I would love one of Imo's clever names. Bit of a long one, so settle in, Pete. Right, I've got me Vinto and I am ready. Right, my husband and I had an amazing sex life, but after kids and general day-to-day family work and life pressures, my libido was safe to say dried up. Well, that goes, see what we were just talking about. It really caused an issue for my husband who needs to have regular sex or a wank.
38:47And I even went as far as to tell him he could go and see a prostitute or we could open our marriage as I just didn't have the mental or physical energy for it. We'd been through a lot in the last five years and we live overseas, so far away from family and support networks. It got so bad that I actually mentioned separating at one point, as I didn't think I was making him happy or fulfilling his needs. To be clear, my husband is a keeper. Like most guys I know would jump at having permission to see a prostitute or open a marriage, but he was adamant that he only wanted me and he would ride out the storm.
39:19He has been so patient. He even told me if we completely stopped having sex, that I was his person and that I was enough. Weirdly, that made me feel worse. At times, it looked like I was getting back to my old self, but something would happen and it would push me right back to the dark place I was in before. However, listening to this pod gave me the best idea. My husband had always told me that he loved the idea of being dominated. He has a very senior role at work and has to be in control at all times. Naturally, he was feeling very frustrated with no sex and the pressures of work. We had an open conversation that ended with us agreeing that he would go and see a professional dom.
39:58He made it clear this is not in a sexual way. And I made it clear that actually I was fine if it was. One, two, skip a few. And after a bit of research, he finds someone far enough away, but still convenient to get to. And off he goes. Well, he came back thoroughly disappointed. It just wasn't what he was looking for and it cost the equivalent of 200 quid. This is when I remembered listening to the Luanna podcast where another Lufania mentioned that she charges her husband for doing household chores. Yes. Well, why not try and be a dom myself and charge him for it? Although it's technically our joint account income, he does earn substantially more than I do.
40:43And pre-kids, I was a pretty dominant force of nature. I viewed this as just another chore. The thought of being my husband's dom, quite frankly, exhausted me. It was another item on my to-do list. However, it also meant I had a bit of money just for me that I could spend guilt-free. We trialed our first session. I had no idea what I was doing. But he told me, like, the idea of being tied up. So I handcuffed him to the post at the top of the stairs in the landing. I wore a sexy outfit and strutted around. Then I blindfolded him and left him for a while. When I came back, I spanked him. and then I don't know what came over me.
41:17But I sat on his face and made him lick me. I have never really been into this before, but it awoke something I thought was long gone. And before I knew it, I had jumped on top of his rock hard cock and was grinding into him before I had the most explosive orgasm. Wow. Fuck me, what had just happened? After we cleaned ourselves off, we had a bit of a debrief. We both just couldn't believe how it ended. I had one very happy husband who opened a separate account off our joint account and promptly deposited me 200 quid. We are still early into this journey. They've continued these sessions. And I'm shocked at how horny I start to get five to six minutes in and how I need to hold myself back from jumping him and just riding the life out of my husband.
42:07Not that he complains when I do. I also love the fact that I have a little growing bank account just for me. so I can treat myself to that designer bag or shoes guilt-free. I even now have a name for my Dom persona. I can't share it or some of my friends will click that this is me. And this has honestly brought my husband and I so much closer together. So I want to thank you girls for doing what you do, for making me laugh out loud and brightening up my week, but also bringing me back to finding me and for providing a safe space for us to be ourselves and share these crazy ideas that quite literally save lives and marriage yes i don't think you realize the impact your you or this podcast actually has everyone has commented how much happier and lighter i appear and it's all thanks to the luana podcast oh my god this is so good so this is like we're now not charging for doing laundry and putting away like the dishes we're now charging our husbands for sex imogen never
43:07Anna Williamson:even got around to doing that with naomi i mean emo we need to uh when emo's editing this emo you need to just move straight on to being a dom. Like, this is where we need to be. Well, I'm going to be a fucking dom. And it's made her super horny. Maybe this is something we should try. I'm not going to lie, Lou. I've got a little tingle in the meagle. I've got a good idea. Well, she's telling him. Initially, she was like, go and visit a prostitute, blah, blah, blah. And now she is the prostitute, but she's the wife. It's genius. And she's loving it. I love it. it's foolproof we're there she's loving it they're keeping the finances within the household they're loving it loving it loving it they're loving it like this love that love that well guys that is brilliant news remember if you want to get in touch you can email us Luana at everythingluana.com you can also drop us WhatsApp on 075 215 64640 Oh, that was Barry's great, Jay.
44:40Buyers rejoice. Buy your car today on Carvana. Limitations and exclusions may apply.
44:44Anna Williamson:See our seven-day return policy at Carvana.com. Right, newsy bits. Big news. Big news. Yes. Huge news. It has been dominating the news over the last few days and quite rightly I watched this unfold. You always know something juicy's coming when the telly all switches every channel onto the briefing room at 10 Downing Street. And there he is, old Keir Starmer, swinging his schlong around, knowing he's going to make a bit of public opinion in his favour. He's just trying to be more popular, yeah. Oh, it is. But social media is to be banned for under-16s in the UK. They've only gone and put their money where their mouth is, or so we hope.
45:27Well, let's see if that is going to come true. But yeah, children under 16 will be banned from social media in the UK from early 2027. So that's next year. Apps, including TikTok, Snapchat, Instagram, YouTube, Facebook and X will all become inaccessible for kids. He's just said, I'm not prepared to compromise on safety and happiness of our children. And that's why this ban may happen. It's due to pass regulation before Christmas. So it will probably come into force in spring 2027. So, yeah, all of those popular apps are out. Messaging apps like WhatsApp and Signal, which I've never heard of, are not out.
46:07And Roblox, interestingly, is not banned either. But features like live streaming and strangers being able to contact children will be restricted. YouTube Kids is also exempt. and for 16 and 17 year olds the government is looking at restricting things like infinite social like scrolling and introducing curfews and any intimate or sexual chats with AI which I didn't even know you could do is banned for under 18 so you can have a sexual conversation with like
46:38Anna Williamson:chat tpt and so to add to this as well um so the ban so lots and lots of people particularly our our demographic actually as well. Lots of you Lufanians I know have been very keen on this to see how it's been going. It was a three-month public consultation. It received nearly 120 ,000 responses, 90 % of parents who responded back to the ban, more than 83 % said the risks of social media outweighed the benefits. And look, I think it's been hailed by a lot of people and we'll get onto what we personally think in a minute. It is interesting though that not everybody's on board and not surprisingly the tech companies, some of them have pushed back.
47:13Anna Williamson:Meta has said that a ban risks isolating teens from online communities and information, driving them potentially to unregulated alternatives. YouTube has called it itself a vital source for young people and said that blanket bans push kids out of curated, supervised beneficial experiences and towards anonymous, less safe services. And Snapchat said it disagreed with a full ban. TikTok said it would examine the details and collaborate constructively. So I think the big question here is, will it actually work? And this has obviously come off the back of Australia implementing this. And I think stats around this suggest that just over 60 % of teens are still able to find a way around it.
47:51Anna Williamson:But I don't know about you, Lou. I think you have to start somewhere. Do you know what? I think I totally agree with that, actually. I do think you need to start somewhere. And this is a brilliant start. Look, it's going to be really, really tough to implement this because the horse has already bolted. And actually, do you know what was really interesting? Last week I was in Spain with Andrew and we were having dinner with a friend and there's a lot of people know about ChatGPT. There's also another AI app similar called Claude and they just launched something called Fable. And within 24 hours of Fable launching and it taking like everyone by storm.
48:31I mean, it's nuts. It was shut down because it was just too. yeah and we were at dinner and Andrew and I were like it's like they should shut it down like there's no they can't just release this stuff with no legislation like it's not right and actually the American government did shut it down and I would then went on Claude and it said fable currently not available and it's right you know they shouldn't be able to just release the stuff which is which is really you know potentially dangerous into society and it's going to be really really hard to claw back actually um but this is a good start and i'm pleased that we're being listened to um but it's just it's it's gonna be really hard to police this it it will but
49:16Anna Williamson:i think and actually it's not often i i will agree with anything that keir starmer says um but but i think he's right from when he said that people you know keir we did it you know teens get around alcohol and fags, you know, they get around that as well. But it doesn't mean you don't have the legislation in place. Don't go, oh, all right, then they're getting around it. Fine. We'll just take away the 16 age limit or 18 age limit for alcohol, cigarettes, whatever it may be. I think having a national age limit on something lets everybody know universally that this is something to be mindful of that children of a certain age it is not appropriate for fags alcohol it's not appropriate for anybody but particularly we're trying to protect children by putting those age limits in place and as parents it makes i don't know about you lou i know i've probably agreed on this one but it makes it so much bloody easier as a parent and i know all of my parent friends were saying the same thing because up until now um it's been very much everybody's having to kind of make up their own rules, police it themselves within their own families.
50:28Anna Williamson:There has been no sort of right or wrong or blanket kind of rule around it. And I know it's been really hard with my kids, particularly Enzo, who wants to go on certain platforms because some of his friends are. And this is not judging anyone's parenting. But it makes it really hard when you are then bad for your kids. Since this came in a few days ago, Enzo straight away went, oh, that's rubbish. You know, I hate Kia. And then I went, no, but do you see what we're trying to say, dude? I was like, that's exactly it. you know people are just trying to protect you guys you know what he's already over it he's already over it he's really not that arsed and I think this is it to your point Lou like Dixie possibly yeah that horse really did bolt you know it was all in its infancy yeah well she's 16 now generation well this is it yeah but I think younger generations um now have a bit more of a fighting chance and ask parents to get a bit more of a grip on it so I think this can only be a good thing and I think that tech companies will just have to adapt yeah and I think it's great that the government are supporting parents and are listening to what parents actually want.
51:28Yeah. Anyway, great, great news all round. Now, there's a few things to talk about, but can we just do the little update that Lee Andrews and Katie Price are reunited? I think I've tapped out, Lou.
51:46Anna Williamson:I think I've tapped out. To be honest, I have tapped out a little bit, so we'll just quickly touch on this one. Yeah, no, but I've tapped out because I'm like, I want to bang my head against a wall. Yes. Yeah, absolutely. But her and her husband, Lee Andrews, are reunited. She flew to Dubai to see him. So he has been locked up in one of Dubai's prisons, but now he's out. She was pictured jumping into her arms. He picked her up and hugged her. They'd been seen kissing. They went to rooftop cinema. um you know she kind of I'd seen clips and to be honest I've been crap at following it I've had a lot a lot of things going on but um she kind of said earlier that she come to this realization that he was a chancer rather than this you know self-made success I mean he claimed to be buying Chelsea Football Club for fuck's sake and then was asking her to set up a GoFundMe for 100 grand to get out of prison now I'm not sniffing at 100 grand but if you've considering buying Chelsea football club 100 100 grand is like you know 10p to you yeah you can definitely get out of jail so true um but yeah it's it's we're still it's still not 100 sure what he'd been locked up for in dubai um he claimed it was espionage which dubai authorities have uh denied saying that it was a private civil matter which kind of alludes to probably some kind of financial stuff We know that allegedly had a lot of financial fraud rumors circling around him, didn't he?
53:12But yeah, she said, Katie said she was looking forward to seeing him, but she was planning to question him. I mean, she said, I've made it clear to Lee, I will never give him money. I'll never give a man money. I've done it all my life. I've always been the breadwinner. My divorces, I'm the one that's always had to give. And I've said to Lee, I'll never do it. so I'm not convinced to be totally honest I don't know who paid the bail to get him out but there was a bail demand and I just think well I think everyone's over it now
53:45Anna Williamson:I think look you can't help someone that won't be helped right and I just think you can't help the helpless and it's a shame I know but I do think it has now dominated far too many headlines and it's dominated our brains yeah we're over it now need to move on that's the last we'll talk about it exactly You make up your own minds. Well, till the next instalment.
54:10Right, it's time for It's the Widow of the Week. It's the Widow of the Week.
54:16Anna Williamson:Ka. Right, what have we got? First up, Peggy. Well, anonymous, so Peggy. Hi, guys. Love, love, love the pod. I recommend it to all my girlies. Thank you, babe. But I warn them that you can be us a filth. Yes, we can. My favourite sim, It reminds me of you earlier. Lou flew home earlier from Spain to sit with this photo of her looking absolutely repulsed, going, someone's farted on the plane. Normally I do farts, so I don't know why I'm so offended by it. It's too shame. When it's not your own fart. You can't enjoy someone else's. On my Jet 2 flight. Oh, nice. I actually don't mind a Jet 2 flight, you know.
54:53I don't mind it.
54:53Anna Williamson:I'd extra leg room. Oh, there you go. There she is. And I fart for free. my favourite segment used to be Weirder of the Week but lately it has been the Recco Secco, lots of you loving that props to Ims for that one she says I've got a Weirder of the Week for you, it's not filth though, give me time we will, please give me a granny name I prefer them to pause our names the weather is now hotting up and I find myself with the odd fly whizzing around in the kitchen I used to open the window that they're trying to get out of and say to them leave me and my family alone and encourage them away This is very Disney-esque, isn't it?
55:31Anna Williamson:However, I have just had three flies in a row and instead of encouraging them to fly away, I've stunned them with a tea towel, picked them up gently with a piece of kitchen roll and placed them in my food waste caddy bin. Then I tie up the food waste bag, make a tiny air hole so it can't get out, but it will live the rest of its life enjoying my leftovers. I feel it's a win-win. I didn't see that fly again, but said fly is happy enjoying a full-on buffet. Hope it makes the pod. Share some filthy ones later on. Keep being you. That is weird. Probably the weirdest message. Very considerate. Kind animal lover, but fucking weird.
56:09Anna Williamson:Weird. Right, next we've got a non, so poor Trisha. Hi Luanna, new listener to the pod and I have a really full-on job in a mental health team. Your pod helps keep me sane and laughing throughout the working week. I wanted to message in Weird of the Week. My partner thinks I'm a right weirdo, but I'm absolutely obsessed with my dog's paws. I love nothing more than sniffing pads on my dog's feet, drawing in the Dorito cheesy smell on each foot. I'm obsessed. Even my dog rolls his eyes, but he quietly complies. At the moment, they're smelling a bit pissy as our horses are on summer turnout and living out.
56:50And he must be running through weed patches when he joins me in the field. so I have to wait until the smell fades to get my fix again. Gutted. Love you all. Thanks, Rudy. Keep me known. Attached is my dog and his beautiful paws. Oh, gorgeous doggy. Like a spaniel. That's quite cute. So I'm going to, my winner is going to be the fly, the fly buffet.
57:15Anna Williamson:The fly buffet is an absolute hands-down weirder of the week. I'm here for a dog paw. Piss and all, quite honestly. Congratulations. I like the dog paws. Well done to you and your fly, your living flies. Weird. Right, Lulu, it's that time of the week where if you want to rant, now's your time. I'll do a quick rant because this is going to go against popular opinion, which is basically me all over. Love it. But I don't like it. So recently I've had a few things and because I'm lazy and I never leave my house, well, lazy slash hermit slash I just have everything here. So I like people coming to me.
57:56Don't need to. She lives on Pleasure Island. It really fucks me off when people are early. Like it's so annoying. To your house. Or just like, yeah, to the house is super annoying. But just being early in general, especially to the house is annoying. How early?
58:11Anna Williamson:How early is unacceptable? Like 15 minutes I feel is unacceptably early. You've got to leave at five too. Like, yeah, five minutes I think is appropriate. Five minutes is enough. I just find it. I'm just like fuck off with your earliness like I'm fucking busy till like the hour that's why I said like 10 a.m because I am busy until 10 a.m like 10 a.m come for 10 a.m does not mean come for 9 40 come for 9 45 it means come fucking 10 because I'm busy until 10 and it really fucks me off people being early and Andrew thinks I'm a misery gut with this attitude because he thinks that you should be early and it's polite and I don't think it is fucking polite I think it's annoying it's annoying I'm busy and then you're interrupting my flow of what I'm doing and then it puts me in a tizzy and I just don't like early people they are not my people the end how does late people work for you no I'm all right if you're late well 10 minutes late after that's rude sweet spot just keep on time I think is what we're saying just keep on time I would rather people were five minutes late, what would you rather?
59:21Anna Williamson:Yeah, five minutes late than early. I think there's nothing worse, as you say, than, but it's like socially as well. Like if you, yeah, if I'm doing, yeah, I'd say five minutes late, nothing worse. You're doing something. Because you're not quite ready, are you? Like 20 minutes, 15 minutes. You can get a lot of shit done in 20 and 15 minutes. Oh, babes. And if you're there, I can't do what I was going to do. It's really annoying. No, I'm with you actually. That would be on time or five minutes past. Thank you very much. Good rant. love that rant that's my rant anyway early fuckers also was that aimed at me was I early for something no you're never early no I'm never early good excellent that's why I like it that's why we get on yeah exactly listen that is it for this week's Luanna the podcast but don't worry we are here every Monday except last Monday sorry about that but there was she was in a scanner sorry kids there was still an episode if you don't want to wait until then on Thursday we do have luanna totally extra that's got a spent a living of we do a lot for this pod because we love it but i think i think wiring you up in the middle of an mri scanner going go on kid get the episode out will you probably i'm here to try it again oh my god now you get stuck to them don't you those mri's they had to stop well that episode one they had to stop it halfway through because there was metal in my body.
1:00:47And your hair extensions were going to magnetise yourself. Well, that was another MRI a few weeks ago. Still got no bloody hair extensions in. And I've got another MRI this week. It's a fucking joke. We're whizzing it in and out, guys. Still, I'm bored. I'm bored. I've got no hair extensions. I keep just wearing no jewellery because I'm constantly in a fucking scanner at the minute. Ridiculous. Anyway, enough of all that tripe. Very boring. For that, we do need you, our wonderful Lithuanians. We love all your stories. Please do send them in. Put a smile on our faces like we put a smile on yours.
1:01:19You can send your emails in to Luanna and EverythingLuana.com. Also, we have had a weird wave of scammery emails from Gmail accounts. Please do report them if you're getting emails from them. Our email will always come from EverythingLuana.com. You can also hop onto WhatsApp, send us a voice note or a message. Our number is 075-215-60640.
1:01:52Anna Williamson:Add it to your contacts. Yes, please. Make sure you have followed your podcast, guys. Please do follow, subscribe as well on YouTube. Also, please do share the pod with a friend. We'd love your mates to join us as well. Maybe send them your favourite clip. Maybe send them this episode. Send them all the reminiscing lols at the top of it. Some advice, whatever it may be, do share it. We'd also love a five-star review. It really does help us and we do really appreciate it. We'll see you Thursday. Bye-bye. This has been a global production. Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun. An army hung on her every word.
1:02:33My champions, I have sold my chariot on Carvana.
1:02:38Anna Williamson:It was a lovely SUV, an inexplicably queenly offer. They're even coming to the castle to collect it. Tonight, we feast! An offer you can feast on. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pickup fees may apply.
From the publisher
On this week's LuAnna: we're back to business with a late night record for Anna and Lu, Lu fresh off a plane from Spain, and Anna fresh from being exposed on the loo in from of 12 self checkouts in the supermarket (thanks Elle). Dixie's about to turn 16 and we're reminiscing the good old days of smokes behind school and Anna's memorable first day at senior school.
Plus, the UK social media ban for under 16s and what it that means for parents, a BDSM wishlist becomes public knowledge, a genius LuFannian who became her husband's paid Dominatrix to save their marriage, Lee Andrews is BACK and DO NOT TURN UP EARLY TO LU'S HOUSE. You've been warned.
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