'Steps are Lufannians!'

21:11Anna Williamson:Babe, I get it. Or except one show, which I'm going to tell you about next week. Okay, perfect. We'll hear about that too. It's been such a good series. Everyone has been really enjoying it. I've been sent out left, right, centre to promote it. When I've been on Instagram, which hasn't been a lot, you've been looking very fierce. Thank you, darling. I appreciate that, honey. Thanks to Emma and Jo that sought me out. You know what I look like on a day-to-day basis. But yesterday, I was, and I'm bringing it up because it was actually pointed out by quite a few Lufanians who slid into my DMs. So I did Channel 4 Sunday Brunch yesterday, which is always a fun show to do because there's not many telly shows out there.

21:48Anna Williamson:Isn't it up north? No, it's BBC Telly Centre. Oh, I'm thinking of Steph's Packed Lunch. That's canned now. That's not on anymore, unfortunately. Great show, but they cancelled that. Sorry for you, Steph. Sorry for your loss. But ironically, she was actually presenting Sunday Brunch last week. So I went in to do it yesterday. and it was super fun and I was on with two celebrity Lufanians Who? Faye and Claire from Steps Do they still speak to Lisa? Yeah, they're all good friends Okay, great because she runs a really good stage school in Dubai Well, you're going to love all this then, girls And I want to get indie in the October half term Listen to this We are in with Steps I love Steps We're in with Steps So Steps are big up I said to Faye and Claire, I'd mention this, because basically they were on promoting that they have got Steps the Musical.

22:42Anna Williamson:Can we be in it? Well, I asked. Can we get a cameo? Is there some kind of cameo? Even if we just hold the shoe? Well, Claire messaged, because I sort of know Claire, and now I know Faye, and basically became like, basically we ended up getting really pissed in the wine tasting section, and we forgot we were on live telly. Oh, Jesus. And they were so nice. They are so nice. They look fucking great, by the way. They're both nearly 15. and they look fucking amazing. Are they? Yeah, they're amazing. God, I love Steps and I'm a musical. You know, like Mamma Mia. They've written a musical. This is what we want to do.

23:13Anna Williamson:But you know, like Mamma Mia is like not about ABBA, but it's the music of ABBA. And that's sort of what they've done. It's like their music to a story. So they wrote it. They've got over 200 shows. Claire messaged me last night. No, can we go? Yeah, I've got tickets for us. We need to work out which theatre. It's touring. It's touring. Oh my God. But basically Claire said. We were trying to go and see Kerry Katona on tour. And Katie. We couldn't even work out a date. I've been waiting to see Book of Mormon for the last three years. I mean, well. Oh, I saw that not that long ago. Well, if you could go online, Imo.

23:42Anna Williamson:Because I said to Claire and Faye, it's really exciting. Steps in. It's called Here and Now. It's called their new musical. Yes. She messaged last night. And I said, look, I'll pay for tickets. Yeah, we'll buy them. And she was like, and that's why we love you. She went, no, let me know when you want to go. And we'll get you tickets for it for your team. And we'll support them and buy. That's what I said. I said we'll do it No we will because it's a good team night out It is a good team night out but it got a bit 5, 6, 7, 8 Food scooter cruising but it got a bit embarrassing because when you're on Sunday brunch it is live like super live That's why these shows won't have me guys Has anyone noticed that I don't do telly anymore?

24:15I do get asked actually not really to do stuff like that Well you need to come and do Sunday brunch You love Sunday brunch No they won't have me

24:21Anna Williamson:Oh really? Oh I'm too much of a risk what I'll say Oh she's a risk I think just go on I was asked to go on Lorraine actually the other week after I smashed up the kids' iPads. Oh, well, there you go. And you said no. I said no because it's just, I just can't be arsed. It's a lot to get up and get in. I'd rather ride my horses and be at home. I'm such a hermit. I just couldn't be bothered. And I didn't really fancy having a debate with some fucking left-wing, mumby-pumby, angel-parenting, fucking straight-your-kid-to-sleep with a feather-every-night person. I mean, I will just revert back to you singing to Clemmie with goodnight, Kimmy.

25:00But I do tell Chloe me off and smash her iPad up when she needs it. Well, there you go. So there you go. So there you go.

25:05Anna Williamson:Well, I, but I think you're right. Side note on that, you've got to think what is the point of me doing it. I just couldn't be asked. Exactly. But I, the point of me doing Sunny Bruns was to promote Pits with Steps and I had such a nice time. Problem was, we were getting so stuck into the wine tasting and then basically we ended up talking shop. Was there cheese? No, no cheese. But we ended up talking a bit of like work stuff as well and then suddenly it was actually a bit embarrassing then then the host him and Simon turned around and they were like Anna and you're like oh god they just asked me a question oh no I wasn't listening oh no you know he's like what is and I was like what do you think of that I wasn't listening I wasn't listening and he was like what are you two lot talking about I was like um I'm just we're having some business chat and he was like they would like found it funny but they were like oh my god so we were genuinely because you're on there three hours so you know After a couple of hours, you forget the bloody cameras are rolling.

25:56Anna Williamson:Well, what was also super embarrassing, not just that, I then got pissed because I'm a Larry Lightweight. Then my bloody interview about celebrity dating was straight after the wine tasting. So then I'm like, oh my God, I can't even see straight. So I had to do the interview. Even my mum texts me going, you were a bit squiffy. Stop. Oh, we need to get a clip of this. I don't know why I was talking about it. But then even worse was this. What do I do, guys, after I've had a morning coffee? A shit. Exactly. I'd had a strong morning coffee. with Faye and Claire from Steps. And then during that, but then when the ad breaks come in, there's nine ad breaks.

26:28Anna Williamson:I was like, oh, I can feel the old bowels go. Rumble in the jungle. I was like, how long an ad break? They went four minutes, 15 on ad break. It's not long enough for you. This is it, Lou. So I went, I'm just going to pop to the loo. So I then had to trot out the studio, go and do the biz. Yeah. And I'm faffing around with a mic as well. Turn the mic off. I then destroyed the lav. So did my poo. But then as I was coming out, I could see, no, I could see the red light was back on. Oh no, they're not on air. And as I walked in, and I'd realised the next item, I was supposed to be in the next item.

26:59Anna Williamson:It was like, I don't know, some tasting thing. And as I'm there, I'm like, oh God, they've gone back. You know, you hear the jingle, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, as in we're back on air. And I'm behind the cameras and there's like a gaping hole of my seat in between Judge Rinder and Claire and Faye from Steps. Stop it. And the floor manager's going, we're back on air. And I was like, you're going to have to go in and say, sorry, toilet break. Well, I said, should I crawl round the back, like round the cameras? What, and pop up like a jack in the box? They were like, and I can hear... They're all chatting and then suddenly, Anna pops her fucking head up.

27:30Anna Williamson:Well, girls, the walk of shame on Live Tenny, which got picked up by so many Lufanians that all were literally like blatantly got caught out having a shit because then I could hear on the floor manager going, I hear the producer going, oh, well, director, just tell her to walk straight back through studio and get back in her chair because we need her back in for the item. So I then am like, I literally walk of shame from the cameras all the way across the studio. You've got no class, Anna. And then Tim was like, oh, nice of you to join us, Anna. Did you say I had a good shit? I just went, I needed the Lou.

27:59Anna Williamson:It took a bit longer than I thought. I basically just got shit shamed on the telly. Because then you've got the guest next to me going, well, you know, everyone needs to go, don't they? And I was like, everywhere I go, there is no class. Why do you shit so much? Well, it was morning, wasn't it, Lou? needed my morning tea but why don't you get up can I just say that this morning I was in the kitchen and Karen the housekeeper was there and Anna came in and then we heard you come in and then Imo comes into the kitchen and Anna didn't come in and then Karen went oh straight to the toilet oh yeah and she went oh I haven't checked it after the weekend and she was ashamed that she hadn't been able to give the loo a little freshen up before you defecated but even my housekeeper Karen knows that you come in and shit in my toilet.

28:45Anna Williamson:Why don't you get up earlier in your own house and shit in your own house? Not ready, babes. It's the coffee that makes it go. Well, why don't you? I go for a poo at 9.10 every morning, whether I'm at home, whether I'm in here, wherever it may be. And what time was our Sunday brunch? That's when I needed the poo. Well, well. Yeah, there you go. So that was that. I got shit shamed on the telly and steps are Lufallians. Hooray! Woo! Imo, how smooth from hell. Talk to us. Awful. I won't tell the whole thing. It'll take about half an hour. But incompetent fucking people. Thank you. I can't. Imo's actually got angry for one.

29:25Who were the movers? The movers. Yeah, yeah. I'm not sure if you could call them movers. Just people. One of them didn't move. He was about 70. Oh, dear. He couldn't lift heavy things. Oh, Bill, no. Oh, don't, because that's really sad. Because people are just having to work so much longer now. He told me he'd been shot in the war was waiting a second hip replacement, what are you doing working as a removal man? Well, because he has to, because he's got no other choice. That's the fucking world we're living in now, because the country's in such a shit show. I'm paying him to do something and he's not doing anything.

29:55I know, I know. I get your frustration. Okay, he should get a different job. He should probably go and work in Morrison's or Tesco on a till. But it's sad, because that's the state of our country. We've got men that have fought for our bloody country in the war, been shot, needing a hip replacement because you can't get it on the fucking NHS because we're so overrun. having to still work at 70 years old because there's too many fucking people in the country that we're trying to support because we can't afford it and then this is what happens it's a whole knock-on effect it's it's so sad but i'm sorry for you yeah you can be angry at the old man there was also like you still love old people though a younger youthy type person who had about i don't want to assume or judge but two brain cells oh it's not going well it was so bad that was one part of it.

30:42Did you then lock your keys in the open? Yeah then there was a whole thing but I ended up in the removals van left my keys in the removals van forgot they were in the removals van after we'd had an argument with the removals people because they were meant to build two beds and they didn't build two beds because they didn't understand how to build one bed even though it was exactly the same as the other bed even though they didn't build the other bed correctly. Anyway they'd left in a half then I realised they drove off with my keys Oh no, that's embarrassing I can't imagine Imo having a huff Well my huff was more dyes She has a limit Lou Oh yeah, you cry and I shout But isn't I a shelter?

31:21Anna Williamson:Yeah, which is good Because you need that in a relationship It's true actually, I'm the crier and Alex is the shelter It works quite well But to buffer you and your move I did get you very nice gifts She did, she sent some cute gifts Got a gorgeous little tea towel With the word pussy on it And a cap Brilliant. Yeah, got a nice teabag thing that said, old bag. Nice. Got some lovely Emma Bridgewater mugs. Oh, this is nice. Cockapoo mugs. Cockapoo mugs, because my mugs don't have any handles. And ironically, you know Emma's mugs don't have handles. Did you get the lover mugs as well? Yes, and those mugs were nice.

31:58So I bought her mugs because all of her mugs don't have handles. Because they've broken. Yes. so anyway I sent her I love Emma Bridgewater mugs and oh my god that was such a good fart

32:14Anna Williamson:you were quite impressed I hope it doesn't smell and then ironically and then ironically it arrived without a handle one of the mugs had its handle broken off and Emma was like this is me anyway shout out to Emma Bridgewater emailed them straight away sent a new cup the next day well that is lovely and very thoughtful and it did perk me up after a very shit day and you loved your pussy I did we had to get like locks changed on both houses they had the keys to like my old house my new house so you didn't get them back no you didn't get your car keys back no well where are the keys well they said they're not in the van and I had to say well if they're not in the van then I have to assume one of three of you has them or you've got rid of them there's been a police report there's been a whole thing.

33:04Anna Williamson:Oh, Emma. Stop. Can I ask, did you pay the removal people? Yeah, this was also a whole thing. Pre-pay. You have to, you pay a deposit and then we had a phone call saying that basically you have to pay by the end of the day and then one of them was like, we're not removing anything else from the van until you pay. Oh, you fucking con-assess. What's the name of their car? Do you want to name and shame them? No, not yet. Emma's hanging in there for that compo. We've done a very, very, very long complaints email. and we're waiting to see. And are they part of a bigger company or is it like a one man type thing?

33:36It's like a small family run company so I don't want to just air them out when they might be nice back. No, but I mean, will you be able to get like compensation for all the keys? I'm hoping so. I'm bloody hoping so. We're waiting on a response. It's not going to happen. And if not, we might have to go to small claims school.

33:53Anna Williamson:For Imo to be quite cross, that means someone has pushed her buttons. Let me tell you. Well, let's hope that you have enough in the tank, Imo. because it's time for Did you know with M-O Lovely This comes in from Rihanna Rihanna says either did you know the origin of the word orchid is from the Greek orchis meaning testicle because of the shape of its tubers apparently she said she came across this in a Metro article about baby names because some people name their kid Orchid and now they're not happy because it means testicle. It means testicle. Hello, I'm testicle. And that's from Rihanna. Thank you, Rihanna.

34:44Anna Williamson:Wow, that's... Orchid. I like an orchid, but not that much. I kill orchids. I can't keep them alive. Well, they're very easy. You don't have to order them that often. Apparently so, Lou. Not for me. They're always snuffling. Not for me. Right, let's dive on in with some messages. We've got a quickie from Cookie slash Claire. She says, hi, my husband Alan just loves your podcast. He talks about you all the time, so much so that I've become addicted myself. Hi, Alan. Alan has his big birthday this Wednesday, the 3rd of September, which is very town about. I wonder how old a big birthday is. 50, 60?

35:20Anna Williamson:Yeah. I think the only thing to boost his mood would be a mention on his favourite podcast. This would make him so happy, I know, and I would get mega wife points. We live in Scotland, run a bakery in Osh Tarada. And Alan is one of the world scotch pie champions. Come on, Alan. I have my fingers crossed. Keep doing what you do. You brighten everyone's world. Cookie, in brackets, Claire. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Alan. Happy birthday to you. Love a bit of Alan. There you go, Alan. Happy birthday, dude. Happy birthday. Send us some of your sketch pies, please.

36:05Anna Williamson:Yeah, I won't eat them, but everybody else will. We will. Right, message from Anonymous. So Yolanda. Hello, wonderful lady, she says. Hi, Yolanda. About a year ago, I found myself constantly thinking, I'm not getting any younger. Do I actually want children? No, you don't. The thought crept in every single day to the point it started fueling my anxiety. Now, after a lot of reflection, my partner and I made the decision earlier this year that parenthood isn't for us. We've been talking about this a lot recently, haven't we? This is after we spoke about... Yeah, you spoke about your friend's MO.

36:35Yeah, and we did a whole news story about how people weren't having kids. Yes, that's right. So this is off the back of that.

36:40Anna Williamson:She says, I'm in my mid-30s and he's a couple of years younger. Now, we already have a life that we love. We own a home in a quiet area with a big garden and an extremely manageable mortgage. We share it with two cats and instead of nights out or heavy drinking, we put our energy into our family and friends' health and fitness and general well-being. Louisa, your figure is goals. There it is, girlfriend. Work is a big part of our lives. We both have demanding careers that we enjoy and commit a lot of ourselves to. I'm really loving this person, you know. I'm the main earner and I genuinely love my job.

37:13Anna Williamson:For me, the thought of trying to balance that with children feels impossible. And truthfully, I don't want to. Good for you. My partner is also very conscious of the state of the world. With so many uncertainties and frightening things in the news, he feels strongly about not bringing a child into it. And I respect that. I think a lot of people are feeling like that. I think so too. I do. It's just so. We are hearing that a lot now. Well, a lot of all this unrest is in protecting kids, I think. What I treasure most is that our time is truly our own. At weekends, we can wake when we want with a coffee in bed before heading to the gym or to meet friends for lunch or coffee.

37:46I mean, this is really, I am, Lou, I am.

37:49Anna Williamson:Or to meet friends for lunch or coffee. I cook and I bake a lot for hours at a time. Oh my God, please. You've got my dream life. I can spend two hours. Oh, she's rubbing it in our faces now. She is now. She is. In the lazy spa reading my book. Who has two hours? I mean, who has two hours? I mean, I just rush to crochet. You do. You love a crochet. Or go for long walks listening to an audio book or podcast. When I finally said out loud that children weren't for me, I felt a huge sense of relief. It was important to me to share this openly with my partner because he had felt strongly the other way.

38:21Anna Williamson:Sorry, if he'd felt strongly the other way, it would have meant big decisions for our future. It would have done, guys, yeah. but we came to the same conclusion together. Now, of course, I adore my friends' children and my niece and my nephew. Don't lie. I would do anything for them but looking after them always leaves me exhausted and I'm glad to hand them back. Instead, we're enjoying what our freedom gives us. We're off on another cruise soon to five new incredible locations to add to our list. She's got a dream life, this woman. She's loving it. What a clever lady. What an advert. And we're already chatting about where we might want to travel next year.

38:52Anna Williamson:One day, I'd love to own a motorhome so we can just wake up and set off without having to plan around school terms. Spontaneity, Anna. What's that word? I don't know. I can't even pronounce it. I don't even know. I think it's been scratched out the dictionary. Not in my life. The truth is I was never 100 % certain that I wanted kids, but society until recently made you think it was an essential. I don't feel like I'll be missing out. In fact, I suspect I'd regret it if we had children. And reading some honest comments on a Luanna Facebook post one night, some months back, really confirmed this for me.

39:23Anna Williamson:Sometimes I do feel a little sad about the things that I'll never experience, like pregnancy or breastfeeding or celebrating Mother's Day. Please don't feel sad about not experiencing pregnancy and the horrific painfulness of breastfeeding. I mean, some people enjoy it. The one thing that I love, which isn't on your list, is giving birth. I loved giving birth. And you hated it. I loved it. I think it's so difficult. If I could give birth for people, I would. God, I wouldn't. I'd give birth for people. I think it's so subjective and it's so hard when you haven't experienced yourself to think of, have I missed out on anything?

39:57But my partner, she goes on to say, suggested that every Mother's Day, we'll plan a little getaway together for later in the year.

40:04Anna Williamson:So that she doesn't miss Mother's Day. It feels like our own way of honouring the life that we've chosen. In the end, I don't see the decision as a loss. I see it as giving myself permission to live fully in the life I already have. Thank you so much for giving me space, giving space on your podcast to voices and perspectives like mine. it means a lot to feel seen in this conversation oh that's a lovely message really love that and i love your really empowered choice yeah good for you i respect you so so much yeah for making that decision for you and your partner it's just such a healthy conversation it's all bloody hard work and you do lose all that freedom you do you do i wouldn't i wouldn't change it i wouldn't change my position but it's but it but it as we talk a lot on here i think you don't go into it lightheartedly.

40:49Anna Williamson:I really do believe that. Right, this is... So instead of growing names, we're now doing porn names and ironically Imo has chosen the first name, which is my daughter's name. Joyful. We now have a message from no one and Imo has called her Dixie Normus. Lou's like, line, crust. So the next message is from Dixie Normus. Hi ladies, long time listener here. Emma thinks it's fucking hilarious. It's really tickled you. Look at Emma, she can't stop. She's so happy with herself. She's crying. She's crying and laughing. Anytime Emma can get one over on me, she does. Yeah. She does. She's that little...

41:34It is. That's really cheating her up there. Every time that I make a lesbian joke or I give her an eye roll about a different political viewpoint. She's like, take that! When Emma's like, I love all people, they're welcome. and I'm like, no, they're not. It's a little Dixie Normus. Hi, ladies. Long-time listener here who absolutely adores the pod and you. For years, I've listened to you give advice about all sorts and now I have a problem of my own and I'd like to hear all three, in capitals, of your thoughts on this. Yes, including you, Imo. Of course, Imo. I will keep it as concise as I can.

42:09I came out as gay when I was 20. I'm now 29 and I was in a same-sex relationship for six years with a house and a dog, the lot. however the relationship had lots of difficulties including coercion and manipulative behavior and I was unhappy for a long time. I stayed with it as I thought this is just my life now and I wasn't brave enough to leave. That was until I fell for one of my friends a couple of years ago who is a man. It came as a shock to everyone but we are now seven months into our new relationship and I've never been more sure of anyone in my life. I love him with all my heart and I know he loves me too.

42:43We laugh constantly. I fancy him in that slightly obsessive way, not to mention I'm now having the best sex of my life. However, I'm really struggling with the change in dynamic, which I can only assume is the difference between dating girls versus dating boys. I've always found girls to be very emotionally present, quite intense, and never questioned where they were, whether they were in it as much as me. When I'm with my boyfriend, I feel the same way but when I'm not I feel that he barely thinks about me his independence is something that always attracted me to him and was something I wanted more of since my last relationship however I can't help but feel totally insecure and like he doesn't like or love me if he doesn't want to spend time

43:22Anna Williamson:with me and I just asked sorry is this person of she's a girl she's a girl yeah she's a girl was in a relationship with a girl and now she's now she's in a relationship thank you having spoken to my friends they reassure me it's a boy thing but I've noticed it's impacting on my sense of security and self-esteem i'm worried that my low self-confidence is going to get in the way of this relationship if i cannot find a way to be confident and happy when i'm on my own as i don't think he's intentionally doing anything wrong i would appreciate any advice you can offer lots of love from um dixie normas a confused girly trying to figure out how to bat for the other team okay so just sorry i was kind of confused with with who was so pracy this for me so she was in She was in a relationship with a girl for six years.

44:04And that girl was coercive and manipulative and she was unhappy. Got it. She then started to fancy her friend who was a man and is now in a relationship with that man. And she's struggling with the dynamic change. With the dynamic change. Because she's right. I think, you know, that's a right kind of stereotype that girls, you know, probably are a bit more emotionally present and on the same wavelength and the same of like, the attention like give me attention give me attention so you've got two of you like that and then boys are a bit more like just hands off do their own thing and what is her challenge here

44:41Anna Williamson:her challenge is feeling comfortable in this relationship she feels like did you listen to anything no i was just while trying to quote it's impacting my self-esteem like uh because he's independent and has his own things going on as well as her yeah that she's feeling a bit insecure like does he want me does he love me does he not want to be with me got it so she's come out of So the thing is, this is different. It's fucking difficult. No, but I had to just get the facts on it because she's used to being in a coercive, controlling relationship, which is very all-consuming, where she has lost her sense of self.

45:13Anna Williamson:She has a healthy relationship now. Yeah, so she's lost sense of self, lost her self-esteem, very toxic. And now what she's experiencing is something very different. And what she's trying to ascertain is, is this healthy? Is this normal? Is it not? I think as long as you need to be comfortable on your own and you need to work on that you know you need to be comfortable being in an interdependent relationship so uh what do you do for yourself to boost your self-esteem having your life but also allowing him to have his life but then what do you enjoy together and I think a huge part of this is really communicating with each other you know what is this relationship where do you see yourselves going and I wonder if has she said in this message I was sorry I was listening but trying to figure out does she does she identify in any particular way sexuality wise came out as gay.

45:59So she's gay. Well, clearly she's not gay anymore. She's probably bisexual. So I think that's a huge part of it though.

46:04Anna Williamson:But I think probably that's where the self-esteem and the self-identity is coming in is because she's thinking, well, where do I sit with this maybe? But I just think you don't have to label everything, right? If you love someone, you love someone. And I just think if you're attracted to someone, you're attracted to someone. Of course. And so I would get over that. Am I gay? Am I bi? Am I straight? What the fuck am I? Go with the flow. You're clearly enjoying the company of this guy. You were in a coercive controlling relationship. So any normal relationship where you have your own independent lives is going to feel a little bit alien to you.

46:32Okay. But it's very important.

46:33Anna Williamson:I don't think it's a boy thing or a girl thing. Like, Imo's married to a woman and you live very independent lives. Like, Nay travels a lot. It's not because you were in a relationship with a girl where you had loads of attention. You were in a coercive controlling relationship where you were smothered by that other person. And now you're not being smothered. And you've got like the freedom to be your own person in a relationship and out of a relationship. Right. So you can spend time on your own with your friends without this man, but also spend time with your friends with this man and spend time on your own with this man, too.

47:10And I actually think you're probably in a healthy relationship now. And where you are in such a long-term relationship from such a young age, you kind of don't know what normal, whatever normal is, looks like and what freedom in a relationship looks like. Because to me, a normal relationship is you spend time with your friends on your own. You spend time on your own independently. You spend time with your person, just the two of you. And you spend time with your person with friends as well.

47:39Anna Williamson:That's a healthy relationship. And so it's, yeah, it's whether it's normal or not for you is what you're, and I think you're in a healthy relationship and you just don't, it's hard not to feel insecure because you've been so smothered. You actually probably don't know how to be on your own, if that makes sense. That's important part. I think it's probably a mix of both things. I think they're kind of compounded. I think it's going to be obviously the fact that you were in an unhealthy, toxic relationship before. and therefore if you're being smothered in that way and they were constantly in contact with you kind of checking where you are I'm this might not ringing all the time like this is just what I'm imagining to go from that to someone who maybe doesn't check in all the time and is happy on like doing their independent thing and assuming probably quite rightly that you're doing your independent thing at the same time you're happy with that will be a huge change so there's kind of that but i also do think that potentially in a like female female relationship the communication might be a bit more and better um just from like what i've experienced what i've had friends experience i've got a friend who has only recently come out and she's in her 40s and who's always been with men and she's now dating women and she's like the difference in the communication styles is like wildly different um so i just think that women are a little bit more intense women are yeah more like how many times do you go like with my guy friends like something they tell me that someone's got engaged or whatever and i'm like oh what happened then i don't know yeah guys never ask the right question i'm so masculine because i'm like that yeah i couldn't like i always think i sometimes always think i could probably like date a woman like it'll be all right and then I'm like, well, I couldn't deal with all that emotional shit.

49:27Yeah, you're quite masculine in your emotional. I'm quite masculine.

49:31Anna Williamson:So I think it's probably both of them. Or slash autistic. Yeah, it could be that too, actually. I think the thing is, babes, the main thing is you've come out of a terrible relationship. It sounds like you're in a nice relationship and you're just finding your feet with it. And I think just take each step. And if you've got any things you do need to bring up with him, bring it up with him, communicate. Just say, look. It's also if you're like, I need a bit more reassurance from you. I need a bit more communication throughout the day. Oh, too needy. That'll put me right off. I know, but like maybe that's what she needs to feel secure.

49:57It just depends, right? It depends on the dynamic of the relationship. If someone calls me, I never answer the phone anyway. If Andrew calls me twice, I'll answer. And then I'll be like, yeah. He would never call me, like just chat, nor would I. But that dynamic works for you.

50:12Anna Williamson:So that clearly works for you. I hate it when people ring me and I'm like, what do you want? Like I'm busy. What do you want? Yeah, well you just don't like talking on the phone. So I think, but to your point, if you're in a relationship with someone, you know you can't fake it you have to tell them how you feel yeah so if yeah if you are feeling a certain way let them in you know there's a way of communicating it without feeling needy and being too anxious about it but it sounds like you're in a much better place it sounds like you're in a nice relationship now and it's gonna be a weird transition a because they're not coercive manipulative and controlling and b because you have gone from a female to a male also and that is a different dynamic and also don't ever underestimate the the the sort of fallout uh and the hangover from being in a coercive controlling relationship it is it's a you know and I guess as well when you come out as gay like I I don't know I've never come out I wouldn't I don't do people even come out anymore I guess they do people do because I just be like well yeah that's I don't know I just don't see it as a big deal like but I guess to some people it is a big deal coming out and so when you've come out and then you're like oh but like now it's nine years later I'm actually back on men that maybe you're feeling a bit of that as well but I would say don't feel that like every like what the world is so fluid now I think and relationships are so fluid and it's just kind of I always think of things now it's just who you are attracted to and who you love and who you want to spend time with other than pansexual whether that is that what pansexual is yeah whether they person yeah attracted to the person oh god yeah don't put all these you're pansexual i reckon uh right i just think you love who you love and you like you like and you spend time with who you spend time with and what they are and who they are and what they look like really pales into insignificance if they tick your boxes and make you happy here here um thank you quite liberal in some ways in other ways i'm definitely not she flicks on that both sides of that fence uh and i sit on it for her um i sit on her face no Sorry, can we just talk about Anna Fentz sitting?

52:12Anna Williamson:So yesterday I sent a message. And we've got a little WhatsApp group chat. And I said, can you let me know what star sign you are to my friends? And Anna was like, I'm a cancer-leo cusp. She said, I'm a cancer-slash-leo cusp. And I was like, oh, we're sitting on that fence. I'm sure it cuts off on a date. It straddles that. I've had my charts done. But what date is your birthday? 23rd of July. I've had my charts done by an astrologer. Cancer dates are till July 22nd-ish approximately. But it also depends on the year you were born, where the moons are and all that kind of stuff. So if we're going, and I'm 18 hours into a Leo, I was told, but I'm a Cancer as well.

53:06That's why I'm a Cancer Leo.

53:08Anna Williamson:Right, message from Kirstie. Hello, Luanamo. I can fence it up. That's why. Because it was written in the stars. It's written in the stars. A long-time listener, first time writing in, and boy, do I have a story that'll hopefully give you a laugh or at least make you grateful that you stayed at home. Love this. Picture it. Classic British summer holiday, grey skies, soggy tents and questionable fashion choices in Crocs. I love Crocs. Me, the family, the dog and Cornwall, we just pitched up for our camping trip and decided to make day one extra wholesome. A little trip to Falmouth. Shops, tick.

53:43Anna Williamson:Pasty for lunch, tick. Now all that was missing was a refreshing dip in the sea. Easy, right? Wrong. Turns out Cornish beaches are about as dog-friendly as Buckingham Palace. My eldest, ever the optimist with the research skills of an MI5 agent, declares, don't worry, I found a dog-friendly beach. I guess it's so busy down there that you can't have all these crazy dogs running around. My friend lives in Falmouth and this is a thing. Like fights and biting people and pooing and stealing food. Yeah. She says, just a 15-minute walk along a scenic coastal path. Sounds blissful. Sounds. So off we dropped.

54:18Anna Williamson:Backpacks, tote bags, towels, crocs squeaking in you. You can't go on a long walk in a croc. It's true, you get blisters. The very picture of a happy British holiday. Reality check. 15 minutes became 45. The scenic path was essentially a marathon over the Himalayas. Within 10 minutes, my youngest has staged meltdown number one over a hill. Why are we walking up a mountain? We're in Cornwall, honey. It's basically a roller coaster made of dirt. We soldier on, sweaty, broken and possibly hallucinating. Then at the 45-minute mark, we see it. People on a beach, about half a mile back in the direction we'd just come from.

54:52Anna Williamson:Fabulous. We turn around. Spirits high-ish. Surely salvation is near. Another 20 minutes later, we find a side path. Steep. Yes. Dodgy. Yes. Sliding down. My youngest protests with meltdown number two. My partner and leaders waving from below yell, it's fine, there are steps, as if that made it sound less like the start of an SAS training course. We coax her down, phew, except the steps turn into something out of total white belt. Ropes, cliff edges, tree roots. My youngest takes one look and delivers meltdown number three. I can't blame her, really. It's at this point I was tempted to join her.

55:28Anna Williamson:But finally, after 15 minutes of sliding, clinging, and bargaining with God, we see the sea. Hallelujah! Our swim is close. Except the final hurdle, a tree with a sign painted on it. Cleaning optional. Oh, my God. Now I'm in, girls. The fortune marathon to go to a bloody nudist beach with her dog. In Cornwall. We all know a dog likes to sniff an arse crack. Oh, yeah. They do, don't they? Or a fag. At this stage, my mum's Labrador's permanently got a nose in my crutch, honestly. Permanently. Because it smells of summer. Oh, yeah, baby. At this stage, I'd have walked through a minefield to cool off.

56:09Anna Williamson:So we shrugged and we pressed on. But nothing, nothing prepared me for what awaited us. It was a nudist speech. We should go here on our road trip if Cornwall wasn't so far. Or bloody cold. Not just any nudist speech. Oh, this is great. A neuter speech filled exclusively with middle-aged Cornish blokes who'd clearly been waiting all year for the chance to let it all hang out. I'm talking Todger Town, Pekka Parade, cocks everywhere. Pekka Parade? Now, naturally. Todger Town. Now, naturally, the locals gave us a friendly wave and a chat, which is great. It's really hard to make small talk when someone's two-veg and two-veg are bobbing at eye level.

56:52Oh, they've got staying power, kids.

56:55Anna Williamson:Still, we powered through. The kids had their impromptu biology lesson in the wild. We finally got our swim and then had to leg it straight back because it only... That wasn't so British. We'd only pay for three hours in the car park. So, yes, our edelic Cornish swim turned into a two-hour obstacle course, three milk hours and a surprise sausage vest. What a cock-up indeed. Madam, you write beautifully. no need to keep anonymous as we'll be sharing this story with many thank you for the pod and all the laughs Kirsty from Portsmouth with an aubergine emoji and a tent and a sea oh that's too good thank you for your message Kirsty remember if you want to get in touch you can email us luanna at everythingluanna.com you can also drop us a whatsapp on 07745 266 947

57:48Anna Williamson:right newsy bits Celebrity Ryan Thomas has defended his daughter Scarlett's decision not to sit her GCSEs. Now, obviously, a couple of weeks ago... I haven't heard about this. No, we had exam time. So Coronation Street's Ryan Thomas has defended his daughter Scarlett's decision to skip her GCSEs after she revealed that she chose to not sit her exams. She just chose not to do that? I didn't know you could do that. So she's 16 years old. He shares her with his fellow Corrie ex, Tina O 'Brien, and he hit back at criticism online after his eldest child admitted that she would always wonder what the results could have been if she'd achieved it.

58:23Anna Williamson:I thought your GCSEs were the gateway to your future. Well, I also thought they were mandatory. So slamming fans for questioning her choice to swerve the school test, she challenged people's opinion on social media and fumed, is it even anyone's business or concern, though? It came after Scarlett confessed she couldn't help but think about the qualifications that she's missed out on, as everyone else got their summer grades. Sounds a bit regretful. It does, doesn't it? She's an aspiring actress. Right, okay. So she's been following in her parents' footsteps. She's already made her TV debut in 2003.

58:54She was Izzy in Waterloo Road alongside her real-life uncle, Adam Thomas, and her cousin Teddy. She's already got 200 ,000 followers on TikTok and 140 ,000 on Instagram. So she kind of is going down this showbiz route alongside her famous family and the influencer route. and she just wrote a thing saying, I'm watching everyone get their results and I'm wondering what would have happened.

59:20Anna Williamson:Am I being fit? Let me do us a favour. I thought GCSEs were mandatory. Clearly not. I don't know. I mean, unless she goes to a drama school. They're not mandatory. No, I don't think so. Did you know that, Lou? I didn't. And I thought they were mandatory and I actually really disagree that she didn't sit her GCSEs because, okay, she's riding this kind of, you know, A little bit of a Nepo baby riding off the family's fame. She's got famous uncles as well. Yeah, but we, and then no doubt, like she did work hard and had to audition to get the job on Waterloo Road and stuff like that. But, you know, we know being in this industry, it's very hot and cold.

1:00:03One minute you're in favour, the next you're not. One minute you're the right person for the job, the next you're not. We don't know really what the future of influencing looks like. Like, is that bubble going to burst? You know, look at how TikTok nearly just got taken off in America. You know, and all of these influences making all that money on TikTok, I mean, could have potentially just been wiped out. I think it's very short-sighted not to have a backup in life in general.

1:00:31Anna Williamson:Yeah, and I would, I actually, I'm not too dissimilar to his daughter in the sense that I did do my GCSEs, but I came in, I went into showbiz in the music industry when I was 15. yeah um and that and i went into and then i was doing that but i did do my gcses and my parents were like you're absolutely doing your gcses which i got you do a levels no i came out i did start my a levels but i dropped out but yeah same because my career a bit like scarlet was was ticking up and i ended up being a kids tv presenter when i was 17 uh started at itv then moved through disney but what and this is only just sort of been a wizened you know old person now i am so pleased that I did do my GCSEs.

1:01:10Anna Williamson:And I got A to C grade in all of them. But also you then did your therapy, because you then realised, actually the showbiz bubble might not always be there. You then took yourself off and qualified in... So many different qualifications. Psychotherapy, coaching and all of my talking therapies. Which has given you a steady income when the freelancing showbiz stuff has been up and down. Right. Right. And also to, and I know lots of people that have as mature students, we have lots of Lufanians listening as well, that are mature students that have then decided to do a career change or have, you know, a lot of people can identify when you're 18, you don't know what you want to do.

1:01:53Anna Williamson:You go on a gap year or you do whatever. But then as an adult have realised actually they want to become a nurse or they want to go into whatever and they want to go back. Like Nanny Jess. Like Nanny Jess. She was a nanny for me and then she left me and went back full time education three years. Now as a midwife. What she would have found is that often and this is important, I think, in that it doesn't just go off A levels. It does go back to GCSEs and lots of people, depending on what career you want to go back into. If you want to go to a university, you do have to go back and you do have to complete the GCSEs in the basic subjects like maths and English to a C grade.

1:02:33Anna Williamson:and you do have to go back and have those basic GCSEs up to A level. So I would, I mean, put it this way, with my kids, I would always want my kids to do that. I think we're quite into education and other people don't value education in the same way we do, which is fine. It's a bit like Princess Andre now. She's got like her TV show. But I believe they have done their GCSEs, they've done their exams. I think to give them, might you say, at the base level of backup, to have your GCSEs gives you options. yeah it's about options in life and i i think that by not doing them she's limited and to be honest i really don't think there's an excuse not to have done them that she was in waterley road in 2023 and she's got like 200 000 followers on tiktok like you should have done your gcse's love i would say legally uh you're not legally obliged to sit the gcse exams which applies particularly to people who are home educated or attending independent schools which i imagine quite a lot of like kid well they have tutors yeah they have um they have home tutors yeah and on set tutors no you don't have to you don't have to interesting no i think you know it is down to every individual it's not a choice i would make it's not a choice i would make but at the same time as well i and i know we both feel this as well lu you know you do you honey you know and if that's their family's decision then that's over to them i think the problem they face is when you start talking about it publicly you do open yourself up for for public opinion so my honest opinion is maybe don't open it out to public opinion you know but then she probably thinks so why shouldn't i it's my choice in my life which is a fair point so you know but i just think in life options are great options and freedom i'm big pro that i think being free to be able to make choices and decisions and for me having exams is a gateway to another option which means more freedom in life well as a To a student, I had to have had my GCSEs even to be able to do the talking therapy qualifications I had because they do need to see proof of a formal education.

1:04:31Although I do think that as the world moves on, and actually Stacey Sonneman came over the other day and we were chatting and we were saying, like, how long are GCSEs going to be around? Because it does seem that once you do them and then you move on to A-levels, once you get your A-levels, no one cares about your GCSEs anymore. But then you say they did.

1:04:51Anna Williamson:But I know for a fact they do. And I know people that have had to go back and then pull up their GCSE grades. I think it depends on what you want to do. It's the job. Yeah, it's the job. Again, it comes back to options, doesn't it? It's options. And at 18, 16, 17, 18, even up to 20, past 20, I mean, you've still got 40-year-olds that don't know what they want to do. But it just helps having options in life. As many stepping stones as you go. I thought the same. I don't think GCSEs mattered that much, but I'm proven wrong now, particularly because actually people are now, it's much more competitive to get into good universities and all the grades they now get.

1:05:26Anna Williamson:You know, they've numbers now, aren't they, old granny over here? I know. But I do know several mature students that have now had to rely on their GCSEs to pull them up to get into universities, yeah. There you go. Now, listen, we touched on this. I've stopped doing it now. I can't get back in. I've given up, Lou. I haven't tried again. I've given up. But this has happened. Porn site traffic has plummeted. It will do. as UK age verification rules are enforced. And we're these people. We spoke about this a little while ago and we found out the same morning we'd both tried to have a wank. A lot of people talked to me about this and found it hilarious, by the way.

1:06:00And we were locked out because we just, well, Anna did verify her age. She was that desperate for it. I didn't. But I've tried to get back in and I've been booted out again.

1:06:08Anna Williamson:Why? I don't know. I went to go and put in my email and obviously, like, I don't know, something's gone on with the email and I can't do it. You know when you have to tick the, can you see any traffic lights in the square boxes? I think Sean Robots. I'm thinking, oh, this is so unsexed. I've given up, Lou. I'm going to have to use my imagination. A number of people in the UK also have given up. There you go. Because visits to the most popular porn sites have decreased sharply since enhanced AIDS variculation rules. Because I don't think it would even be under-18s visiting. It's people like us too that think, oh, fuck that.

1:06:37I'm not giving my data.

1:06:38Anna Williamson:It's the data. This is what we think. It's the data. We don't want to give our details on our data. I don't want to give my bloody data to Pornhub. Well, Pornhub have lost more than one million visitors in just two weeks. I'm one of them. They introduced the Advanced HX, like we discussed, 25th of Jan. This is to make it... July, sorry. This is to make it safer for our kids. Which is good. Because we don't want under 18 seeing explicit material. Which is fair. Big fan of that. I'm a big fan of online censorship for children. But yeah, the figures are down. Pornhub is the UK's most visited website for adult content.

1:07:11Look at this.

1:07:11Anna Williamson:And it experienced a 47 % decrease in traffic. Nearly half of all users. I mean I'll be honest I'm all like you say tightening up restrictions for kids I can't start full knocks OnlyFans traffic's dropped by 10 % and another leading site Xvideos is down 47 % too how crazy is that but we were right what does the spokesman for Pornhub say to the BBC as we've seen in many jurisdictions around the world there's often a drop in traffic for compliant sites and an increase in traffic for non-compliant sites this comes after virtual private or VPN apps yeah became the most downloaded on Apple's Apple Store in the UK in the days after, Adrian.

1:07:49Yes, because you can circumnavigate via VPN. Yes, and people commented that when we uploaded the video to our socials. If you're not following us, by the way, we're on Instagram at everything underscore Luanna. Give us a follow. But we put a little video on there and a lot of people commented, just get your VPN, girls. Yeah, they did, they did actually. So if you get a VPN, you can swerve it

1:08:09Anna Williamson:because you can disguise your location, put your in Spain or something. The apps make it harder to collect data on how many people are visiting site-specific locations. That's using a VPN. Ofcom estimates 14 million people watch online porn. It's set out a number of ways website can verify the age of users, including, this is, I mean, there's so many. People don't want to do this though, do they? No, credit card checks, photo ID, estimating age, selfie. Estimating age using a selfie. This is so funny. So I, do you know, I'm a massive fan of Rossi D. Woods on Instagram. He's so funny. I don't know him.

1:08:40Anna Williamson:Oh, he's so funny. And he was saying, I was doing some, again, some promo the other day, and we were talking about this because they bought it up. He bought it up about us talking about the porn hub thing. Were you with him? Yeah, I was with him and he was talking about logging into porn sites and thought it was hilarious and then he was the one, I didn't know that some of the porn sites do this selfie and you have to literally do your age-verified selfie just before you're about to do it. So then it became this running joke of like imagine doing your screenshot with your screenshot. But the reason why I gave up the other day was, as you said, I don't want to be given all of my data and information.

1:09:21Anna Williamson:Well, the problem is some critics are suggesting that this could drive underground to the dark web. And then that's more extreme content. But look, we don't know. I don't think that you'll get under 18 years. But I also would say with that, let's say, you know, quite innocent. I don't know what the dark web is. Do you? I don't know how you get into it. How do people get on the dark web? But that's what I'm saying, Lou. but like say Enzo picked up my phone and there was accidentally a Pornhub pop-up open but if it's dark web probably but if it's dark web he's not going to access that do you know what I mean because he won't I don't know how to I don't know how people know like because I would be scared to even google how do I get on the dark web because I think they're like looking and they are looking so I just would be so scared that's how Holly Willoughby's bad person you know, a kidnapper person was caught by police officers that are on the dark web.

1:10:17Anna Williamson:And they found him commentating on, you know, rallying on one of these dark websites. It was a police officer that was just doing surveillance. Yeah, because that's what they do. I'm too scared. No, I'm not doing that. I'm not going to the dark web. Right. Anyway, it's now time for... It's the Widow of the Week. Right. Brilliant. Emma, another name. Peppermint Patty. She gave herself it. Okay, there we go. She's nominating a non-so-Charlie. Not quite the same ring to her. But Peppermint Pad says, Good morning. I'd like to nominate my husband for Widow of the Week. Let's call him Charlie. You're right, Charles.

1:10:51We've been together for 25 years and still very much enjoy our intimate life. He always takes time to consider me, my wants and needs, and nothing gives him greater pleasure than giving me an orgasm. Winner! Go on! However, and this is perhaps the reason why I love you girls so much, I have a lot of wind. Oh, you heard me earlier, guys. And I mean a lot. About a year ago during sex, Charlie sensed I was holding back and he asked if I was okay. I told him I was trying not to trump. He assured me he would rather I just let it go so that we could just relax and enjoy what we're in the middle of. Charlie's understanding.

1:11:23Anna Williamson:And they're 25 years in, Lou. Fart away, my love. And this is when he discovered that he really likes the feel of my farts on his balls. Well, a vibration, isn't it? She's vibrating as balls. He now actively gets annoyed if I trump during foreplay so that he doesn't get to feel it on him. He can see past the often revolting smell just to get that little tickle. Is he the weirder of the week? Much love and laughter. Call me Peppermint Patsy. Listen, Charlie, you just need a cock ring, mate. That's what I was going to say. Why don't you just get a vibrating cock ring? That's all you need, Bobbs.

1:11:59Anna Williamson:Yeah. Or a fan.

1:12:04Anna Williamson:Cold vibrations. Or even your lucky toothbrush. A fan might shrivel them up. True. Just place the electric toothbrush thing on something, anything. Thank you for that. It's weird. Farts on the balls. That's a new one. Anonymous. So, Maureen, Weirder of the Week. When I'm at home, I don't wash my hands after I go for a wee. If I have a poo, I wash them. Toilets out of my house, I always wash my hands. But a wee at home, don't wash my hands. Am I a weirder? I sometimes do this. Yeah, I think we all do see a bit, let's be honest. If I do a wee and I think, well, I've only touched the toilet paper.

1:12:37Yeah, if I haven't touched the nun. Then I don't. And I always wash my hands before, like, I cook. Yeah, same. Do anything that needs clean hands. Yeah, but sometimes I will do. If I'm in a rush. Bex is rolling her nose up at us. You always wash your hands. You always wash your hands.

1:12:52Anna Williamson:I mean, I do mostly wash my hands. But this is 3v1 in here, so you are the weirdo. That's true. Always after a poo. She does always look clean, Bex. Yeah, she does. Like if you were looking at the four of us, you would say Bex is the cleanest. She looks like a little, you know, kind of like Dorothy. Little house on the prairie. House on the prairie. That's what she looks like. Right, I would say farty balls is weirdo because we're all filthy, basically. And it's bloody brilliant, quite honestly. I love the farty balls. I think we need to get your cock ring to in and stoop. Lou ranted at the beginning of the air.

1:13:23Anna Williamson:I've done my rant. I've got it off my chest. I've got more anger issues. We can address them next week. We can deal with that. We can deal with that. But listen, we will be back next week. And we're back on Monday, in fact. But of course, we don't have to wait until then. Thursday, we have Luanna Totally Extra. We need you guys. It's your ep. We need you. We especially need you if you're getting married and you're close to Blackpool and you're free next Saturday, the 13th of September around 4 o 'clock. Around 4 o 'clock. Sending your emails to Luanna at everythingluanna.com You can hop onto WhatsApp.

1:13:53Anna Williamson:You can drop us a voice note or a message. The number is 07745266 947. 7. Please do make sure you have followed us. If you haven't, you will see it on the top right. Just click it so it says you are followed. Tell someone else about us. Make them listen. We'd love a five star review. We would. And we'd see you Thursday. Bye for now, bitches. Bye.