'The Female Equivalent Of The Andrew Tate Pipeline?' — Nara Smith, Tradwives & Financial Freedom

36:44So I'll get my money's worth. But yeah, basically it is wild. So it's about this woman and she has had like the unluckiest life. So when she was, she's American, when she was 16, she was like living on her in an apartment and there was an intruder that came in and like sexually assaulted her and like branded her with an iron on her leg and it was like yeah awful just awful she's only 16 really really big news and then years later she was married and she was working and she started getting stalked by this person who we don't know who was like writing poetry and would like stalk her via classified ads in the newspaper um abducted her twice stabbed her and like it was so terrible years and years this went on for like the police was surveilling her house in the end the police had to like move into her house um and her husband was like super worried she couldn't go anywhere on her own and then the one time she did go somewhere on her own he ended up stabbing her in her car and like it was so bad and there is such a big twist to the story oh don't tell us don't because your pod recos are really good both of yours are actually i won't tell you but it's it's insane and it was at the time and in the same town as btk who was like a very notorious killer i don't if you've heard of him but um basically the poet six episodes I really want you guys to listen so that we can have a discussion Anna you would love it because it's very uh it becomes quite psyche yeah very very interesting um and quite unbelievable well because of my shocking wi-fi

38:42Anna Williamson:today and the fact that I've now bought back a couple of hours because I've biffed out the kids at Al I am going to listen to that by the pool yeah you should download and you are just going to have to pay the five quid to listen to the last episode I'll do the five quid the last episode really gets into the psyche of like oh it's just awful like this love it but basically you've got to go please listen to it because then we have a chat about it let's do it because I love you I've got no one to talk to about no I know isn't that the thing isn't it when you always so want someone to have been so involved and invested in what you're watching at the time it's when you didn't watch The Handmaid's Tale I was desperate to debrief the final series now I love it yeah so anyway that's my record please listen then we can have a chat brilliant so we have a health thing in an unexpected move from Imo we have a listen and we have a consumable product lovely there you go

39:43right shall we crack on with some messages yes I'm loving this we've got some party planning ideas um says hi Luanamo love the pod and all that jazz suggestions for Louisa's outfit for her birthday party picture the scene a balmy evening in June a year away yeah but oh my god before I start this message shall I tell you like a story so I said to my mum I was like oh I'm gonna do my birthday party on the 5th of June but I have realized that is like the half term week is it or is it not actually I'm wondering if it's the half term week and if I might need to move the date oh really don't ask me well I think the half term week is the last week what what half term are you talking about English or Dubai no the May half term week that's the only problem with that date so I'm wondering if I should move it to the 12th of June you do you honey we will be there well my mum might kill me if I do that so basically we're in France I'm just gonna tell you the story really quickly to get your opinion on this and I was like oh I'm gonna have my birthday party on Saturday the 5th of June my mum was like well I can't come I'm at a wedding and I was like oh like whose wedding is it and uh she was like oh it's some old family friends and so she has known their daughter like all her life and I was like mum it is my 40th though I think that you should really be there for my 40th and she was like no I'm not coming I'm going to this wedding oh and then I was like I think that's a bit out of order but how many times have you even met the guy that she's marrying twice anyway mother dearest is now coming but I have realized that I might have to change the date because I do think it's that half-time week and I do think a lot of my friends will be away with their kids so what's the ask is your mom out of order or not oh has she said no to the wedding yeah she said no very very reluctantly like she was pissed and I was like mom that's out of order and then the whole family agreed that she was out of order yeah but if you change the date she can

41:53Anna Williamson:look if she knows them that well she can go back and go do you know what great news i can still come there's plenty of time to tell people yeah yeah do you think i should change the date then because i think a lot of people might be away that half time i think i might are you thinking of i mean the friends you're inviting majority english friends dubai friends international friends i mean what's the vibe english so they'll all be all their kids will be off like that week and that weekend, won't they? What I would say is I think you carry enough clout that people will plan their holidays around your birthday.

42:29Anna Williamson:So if you're doing it on the Saturday, I'm sure people will delay their holidays until the Sunday or the Monday. Well, it would be coming back early because the kids will all break up like Friday the 28th of May and then it's minus like the Saturday. Do you know what I mean? So if you're going on holiday for half term, Saturday to Saturday, I think I might have to do it the following weekend. I would say if those are the definite dates for schools, maybe bear that in mind. But equally, I know me that if we go on holiday, often we do a May half term, I would definitely be back for your party. I'm like, fuck you kids.

43:11I'm going to lose party. I'm getting pissed. But then I've got to send out invites now. Is that too keen like a year in advance? No, it's a 40th race. Anyway. Right. Anyway, let's crack on with the message. Right. Picture the scene. Admin on the park. A balmy evening in June. Champneys 2 is looking radiant. The guests are filtering into the marquee. Cocktails are circulating. Anticipation of a wonderful evening fills the air. The background music quiets. People look around. Miley Cyrus' wrecking ball begins. As the chorus kicks in, Louisa enters the party. I'm loving this. a stride, a wrecking ball as per the music video swinging from the ceiling crowds go wild, party begins can't even begin to think how good the Instagram reels would be, love Nick from North Yorkshire, love that

44:01Anna Williamson:love it, it's not bad it's not bad, it's not bad and what we'd obviously do then is go one step further yeah when we turn that wrecking ball into a massive bollock so it's quite Luanna-esque I came in on a bollock Swinging wrecking bollock So I think we've all taken from that I just have to ride it hard Louie's going to be riding a wrecking bollock On her 40th birthday Be that guys, be that Pete, he's also sent a message in He said hey, for Louie's 40th Could she have a photo booth set up Where the photos are printed and placed inside CD cases. Louisa could give out mixtapes of her favourite tunes as party favours.

44:50Love, Pete. That's a good idea.

44:53Anna Williamson:It's a good idea. It sounds invested, Pete, but yeah. Yeah, we could go with that. But who has a CD or tape player anymore? Well, I think it'd be for the Nost... Well, yeah. We'll work on that one. We. We'll work on it. It's obviously the Royal We now. Good ideas, though, guys. Please keep it coming in. Ideas for Lou's 40th. we've got only 11 months to go um having said that I'm taking the piss but I'm fucking here for it I can't wait I've never been more invested in someone else's party as much as I have this right message from anonymous so Francine hi ladies please keep me a non give me a granny name I wanted to ask a question that I've been thinking about for a long time how do you know when your family is complete when you're fucking naked.

45:38Anna Williamson:I'm joking. And you are dead. You are done. Yeah. I'm 25. I'm a teacher and my husband is a mechanic and we have two beautiful daughters with just 14 months between them. When I had my first daughter, something in me, yeah, just clicked. I loved her more than I ever knew was possible. But more than that, I felt like I'd found my purpose. Becoming a mum wasn't just something I loved. I genuinely felt like it was what I was meant to do. If finances had allowed it I honestly don't think I would have gone back to work I adore being a teacher but motherhood is where I feel most fulfilled most myself and my happiest I just say like I really admire this woman for saying that because I don't have any of those feelings and I actually like would have liked to have felt that but I just never did do you know what really honest of of you as well I think you're right I think it's lovely people yeah like how does she feel so fulfilled and happy just doing that it's remarkable i'd buy that level of contentment yeah one of my school friends did that she's like once she had an amazing career once the kids came she's like sold the career i just love being a mom yeah and she had an amazing career fashion buyer a really high-end fashion wow thing yeah that's wild anyway anyway then she said just 14 months later our second daughter arrived and somehow my heart expanded all over again people always say you don't know how you'll love another child as much as your first but you do my world became even bigger and I bonded with her so quickly instead of feeling stretched I just felt complete every day is chaotic exhausting and loud but I absolutely love it being their mom gives me my sense of life a sense of direction and meaning that nothing else ever has I really love this the problem is I just don't feel like our story is over I find myself thinking about another baby all the time and if I'm being completely honest I could even imagine having four children one day.

47:25Anna Williamson:My husband feels exactly the same which makes it even harder to ignore that feeling. The practical side of me knows that life isn't built on love alone. We live comfortably but we certainly don't live lavishly. Some things are a stretch. We don't go on expensive holidays. I'm very careful with the food shop. The girls wear hand-me-downs and we make thoughtful decisions about our spending. We live on a two-bedroom terrace so I know three children here wouldn't be ideal. My teaching career is still in its early stages and because I was on a temporary contract when I had my second, I didn't qualify for maternity pay, a situation so many new teachers unfortunately find themselves in.

47:57Anna Williamson:In a few years, once I've gone back to work, gained more experience and hopefully progressed in my career, we'd probably be in a position to move house. Part of me thinks that's a sensible time to think about another baby, but that might not happen and can I wait not knowing? But then I wonder, how do you actually know when enough is enough? Louisa, you often say that being able to afford your children is really important and I completely agree but what does being able to afford them actually mean does it mean holidays abroad bigger bedrooms brand new clothes or does it simply mean they're loved fed safe and secure we aren't rolling in money but we aren't struggling either exactly but we have enough that's that's the word enough I suppose my biggest fear is that if we had another baby we'd somehow tip from coping comfortably into constantly worrying about money and no longer being able to provide the life that we want for our children at the same time I can't shake this overwhelming feeling that I have so much more love to give.

48:45Anna Williamson:I don't feel done. I don't feel that sense of closure people talk about. I feel excited when I imagine another little person joining our family. I genuinely love this stage of life. I know the baby years are tiring, but I actually enjoy being in the trenches. I'd rather have my children close together and embrace the chaos than feel like I'm starting all over again years later. So I wanted to ask, how did you know your family was complete? Was it a financial decision, an emotional one, or did you just wake up one day and know? How much money is really enough before you decide your family is finished?

49:12Anna Williamson:And finally, am I completely crazy for wanting four children when we currently live in a two bedroom terrace and live a fairly modest life? I'd love to know your thoughts. What a lovely message. What a sensible woman. You sound like such a lovely mum and family. And I just want to say that it's so rare for children to come from like such a loving, complete family that I would say have the fucking kids. I'm a big pro of having kids close together as well because I like small age gaps like I much prefer the age gap between Indy and Clemmie than Dixie and Indy or Dixie and Clemmie because it does feel like you're then starting again and then I feel like when you have big age gaps you have quite a disjointed family of like the older one wants to do this and the younger ones want to do this and then there's constantly a compromise between like dragging the younger ones to something they can't be part of or dragging an older one to something that they're too old for but I knew that I was done when I feel sorry for pregnant people now like I literally and newborn babies are just I have no interest in them like I've had friends that have had babies I can't even be asked to see them I know that's really bad of me and that's a bad friend but I have no like interest at all in hanging out with with people that have young children like they irritate me so I think that's how I knew I was done and I couldn't think of anything worse than being pregnant again um and when you say about finances what you said when I say about you've got to afford your children I just mean you need to be able to clothe feed them and put a roof over their head without being like on the poverty lines.

51:01I would say that having a two bedroom house and four children would be tight. And I do think that would affect the quality of your life, like in all honesty, like nobody wants to be like cramped on top of each other. And especially at the minute you've got girls, if you then introduce a boy and when they're young, it doesn't matter. But as they get older, like people do want their own personal space. but I love how much you love your kids and I think that you're not done from your message and just go and have the go and have the babies yeah I think I think sage advice and my nana

51:37Anna Williamson:always used to say you know you cut your garment according to your cloth and to echo Lou really at the base level all kids need is love stability they've clearly got great parents really emotionally mature and loving parents that are really thinking really sensibly about all of their options and their abilities and what they need to do. What I would say is what is great from your message is that you clearly have a really good career. You know, you've got transferable skills, you know, in an opportunity to work, should you choose to. But obviously, motherhood is where you want to go. As Lou said, you know, we've all got friends.

52:14Anna Williamson:I mean, I grew up with my best friend when I was a kid in primary school she was one of seven and they had a I think three-bedroom house and you know what they were the happiest family in the county you know sure they had like they had two sets of bunk beds in one bedroom for four kids to sleep in and I think you know and you'll know as well Lou you know you're married to Andrew who's Irish and he's one of umpteen kids you know I'm here in Sicily at the moment and there were six for their number bedroom ones this this is that Alex's nonna was one of seven. There's another cousin who's, there are one of Alex's uncles, there are 42 first cousins for one person.

52:53Anna Williamson:You know, they, in some families and culturally, yeah, they're all like one of eight, you know, one of nine out here. You know, it's huge. And I think you're not, I think you're sensible to think about what the parameters are because you don't want to obviously be struggling. But it also sounds like you're really realistic. So, and I would also say is that, and to Lou's point there, she liked a smaller age gap. I actually was the opposite. I liked a bigger age gap, but I think postnatal depression was a big part of that for me because I wanted to sort of get my head back together. But you're 25, you know, so if you did decide to delay, you know, it sounds like you've also got time on your side.

53:29Anna Williamson:But look, I think, you know, I think you know the answer. And I think you and your husband will think of the plan moving forwards if you do decide to. And good for you for being. And also, how did I know I was done? Well, I've never, I've always said on the pod of an eye, I've never said I'm done, done. Like it's something I've never wanted to vocalize. But you're too old now. You're 45. Oh, I'm 45, babes. But I think there are two massive indicators. Well, my period was a couple of days late last month because of the HRT. And I was filled with the fear of God that I might be pregnant. So I thought, well, that's obviously an indicator.

54:02Anna Williamson:And then I was on the beach yesterday and a child wouldn't stop crying and having a tantrum. And I couldn't have found it more irritating if I tried. and then I thought yeah I'm not here for the tantruming phase so I think I think my over is a shut too but I think for you my love go for it enjoy yourself enjoy yourself enjoy making the babies um but you're clearly meant to have a wonderful family and well done for thinking about it so sensibly good luck yeah good luck just pop them out babs you're only 25 uh we've got another message in I literally if I see pregnant people I just think oh god bless them and the hell that's to come.

54:40Right. We've got a message. Good luck, Imo.

54:42Anna Williamson:I can't help it. When you get pregnant, Imo, we'll obviously embrace you. We've got a message from... This is a strong name. Strong name coming in. Anon. So, My Crotch. My Crotch. My Crotch. Yeah, I like My Crotch. It's a good one. Is it one of yours, Ims? No, it's not. Got it. Right. He says, I've got a hilarious story that just got made funnier recently. Background. I'm a sports therapist and often get asked what's the funniest thing that's happened to you during an appointment. One incident always springs to mind. A couple of years ago, I had a client who came in on a wheelchair and after speaking to them, it turned out a previous injury meant that they were now paralyzed from the waist down.

55:28After getting an understanding for what they were expecting from the session and to ensure I didn't patronize them, I asked them to tell me if they needed any assistance getting onto the therapy couch they said that they could transfer themselves to the couch but they'd need me to lift their legs and rotate them round so they ended up lying on their front legs obviously a dead weight turning them over meant my face was in a compromising position and whilst doing this they let out the biggest fart I've heard in my life straight in my grid I imagine gas easily gets built up with limited movement.

56:03So this fart was a honker. Naturally, in this instance, I wanted to piss myself laughing, but bless them, they clearly had zero control and they didn't react in the slightest. So obviously, I couldn't say anything. Fast forward to a couple of weeks ago, and I was telling this story to a friend. They said something that had never previously crossed my mind. they said oh god maybe they thought it was you i just assumed that they were embarrassed they stayed quiet it didn't occur to me that this poor person completely paralyzed on the waist down might not have realized they farted that they probably heard and smelled exactly what i did but maybe they didn't say anything because i didn't say anything and they've never even booked in since in fact i bet they recall this story to their friends and family being pulled that it was me that farted during that session.

56:58I've got a few more appointment stories to be fair, but this is a personal fave. Have to keep being on. Let's go with Mike Roch. Brilliant.

57:08Anna Williamson:Very, very good. Because they wouldn't have known it was them. They couldn't feel that rumble in the jungle, could they? This is it. This is it. Denial. It reminds me last night, I'm at Death's You Girls. I went out on our balcony, accidentally did a massive fart on my chair on the balcony, turned around and realised there was a dude literally sitting on the balcony next door that had clearly heard it. I should have probably gaslit him as though he did it.

57:34Oh dear. Remember, if you want to get in touch, you can email us, Luanna at everythingluanna.com or you can drop us a WhatsApp on 075 215 64640.

57:52right newsy bits let's smash through this i love nara smith right go on then so nara smith

57:59Anna Williamson:addresses trad wife label on call her daddy but not everyone's convinced right talk me through who nara smith is she is like what is known as a trad wife now i never know if she's taking the piss or not but basically it's um she'll make like chewing gum from scratch and be like she's really beautiful and she has these beautiful children oh I know her oh I do know her ridiculous names we've spoken about her before we have this guy the husband and they're like really attractive I think they might be models so yeah they're like absolutely stunning they've got these stunning children I think I read that one of their children has cancer though or is that another yeah it's really sad that's so anyway and basically she'll be like and she does this voice which is like really asmr and she'll be like and now i'm gonna make chewing gum from scratch for my husband because he deserves organic natural ingredients so i mill the flour and like it's literally like that it's it's weirdly addictive watching i i personally think it's a piss take but this trad wife it's short for traditional wife so it's a woman that essentially like back in the day so you essentially serve your husband and your family that's what it is so nara smith so she's spoken out about being called a trad wife describing the label as concerning which is very weird because that is the whole thing that she portrays so she um went on a podcast called call her daddy i've not heard of it uh host alex cooper she's only 24 i think she's got like four kids asked the 24 year old model influencer about the trad wife comparisons and discourse online surrounding her content where she makes different food and meals from scratch oh that's it and she like dresses in these like ball gowns to do it and that's it yeah it's just totally ridiculous so she's all dressed up in like a bloody black tie dress speaking in this softly spoken tone it's gotta be satire surely it has to be like making jam so she'll be like oh today we fancied like scones and clotted cream and jam and then you actually like milk the cow to make the cream and like make the jam it's ridiculous um so both Nara and her husband who is called Lucky Blue Smith uh married in 2020 they have four children and their names are get ready for it Rumble Honey, Slim Easy, Whimsy Lou and Fawny Golden I quite like Whimsy Lou I like Fawny Golden as well I'm not sure about Rumble honey.

1:00:38She said, they use me as the poster child for the trad wife movement, which is very bizarre to me, she said. She then got her phone out to Google what trad wife is. And a trad wife is a woman who embraces or promotes a traditional model of marriage and family life where she prioritizes being a homemaker and primary care for kids, takes primary responsibility for cooking, cleaning and managing the household, supports her husband's role as the breadwinner and often values traditional gender roles within the marriage. She said that actually she identifies with none of that, despite the fact that on Instagram, she has said that she can spend 12 plus hours a day cooking for her husband and kids, making every single item from scratch, including bread, Oreos, Nutella.

1:01:22Like she'll make Nutella and get the fucking hazelnuts and like, it's ridiculous. Lollipops, Coca-Cola and even bubblegum. Crazy tough. Anyway, so this has sparked like a bit of a thing online because one person said, married to a woman, four children before the age of 25, collaborates with other trad wife influencers, intentionally plays into the trad wife narratives and then says, oh no, why do people think I'm a trad wife? I mean, honestly, I feel that's what she was trying to like portray. I didn't realize she was like cosplaying it.

1:01:54Anna Williamson:but but also like what what it sounds like she's taking issue with being called a trad wife but like there's there's which is weird i think maybe she's taking the piss out of trad wives that's so interesting no but this comes back to what i think is that the whole thing is like a hoax like i think that she's taking the piss out of being a trad wife but also i follow this other woman and I love her I can't remember her name but she makes like the most epic lunches her husband's a builder and she makes like these insane lunches for her husband like these like salt beef sandwiches with pickles yes it's like insane the stuff she cooks all the stuff I love her too she gets up at like 4 30 a.m to like make his lunch and everything and put it all in his lunch boxes it seems I am so addicted to that and she loves doing that and you know what I love cooking for my family I just never have it like there's nothing I love more than making a roast dinner on a Sunday for the family and us all sitting down I don't think there's anything wrong with cooking and homemaking I love decorating the table I love making my like house a home for our family so I don't think there's anything wrong with being a trad wife to be honest I might actually quit work and just be a trad wife kind of consider it I think it's really interesting isn't it?

1:03:12Anna Williamson:I think we're in a really interesting stage of life where because career and having it all, doing it all as women, you know, has been so celebrated and hailed, which is great. I think we're also though not allowing that space for the alternative, which is being a traditional wife is something to be absolutely celebrated and a life choice. One of my best friends is, I would, I don't know if she'd consider herself a trad wife, but exactly what you've just listed there Lou is exactly what she does she gave up her career um because her husband's career was really demanding and financially was absolutely giving them the lifestyle that they could only ever dream of but she decided that actually she wanted to be very present with her children and also to be able to support her husband to do you know his job requires him wearing you know shirts needing pressing and you know running running the home um yeah she very she very proudly is a is a is a traditional wife I guess but that is her domain and there are very clear boundaries around that even with her husband and her kids like this is my job this is my role don't you start you know tampering with it but there does seem to be a sort of sniffiness doesn't there around um women that do want to choose that more home making role and I think we need to drop that stigma because traditionally whether we like it or not guys you know the the inconvenient truth perhaps is that since the dawn of time a woman has typically been the homemaker and I don't think there's anything wrong with that if someone does want to do that equally I think it's absolutely fine for that gender role to switch as well and for them to for it to be the other way around I mean my marriage is probably more of a modern marriage in the sense that you know we both co-parent we've shifted things around with our earnings and things like that you know we're both freelancers as you know um but at the end of the day I'm actually still quite protective I guess and possessive of my role as a mother and a wife in the home and kind of what I kind of like and probably not really fair this but having my cake and eat it but sort of what I say goes with regards to the home and sort of the homemaking side of it because I'm proud of doing that I'm proud of cooking for my family even though Alex cooks too but I'm I'm proud of that role and I think what are you talking about well it's it depends but again but with swings and roundabouts truly swings and roundabouts with Andrew he's a really good cook we're quite traditional in that sense but I think it's but it's never there to cook for so you know he's never there but I think but I think what what is interesting is why Nara appears to be running away from this label as opposed to kind of maybe hailing it and celebrating it but like to your point Lou maybe this is kind of part of the whole joke I think I think it's a piss take I've always thought it was a piss take I I but I think she just enjoys cooking and stuff and then she sort of like takes the piss out of herself because she enjoys doing that and then is monetized on that with content I really don't care either I like her content but I think you know some people saying it's the female equivalent of the Andrew Tate pipeline like where we're putting women in this box and have we tried so hard as women to come out of this trad wife thing and then should we be promoting that but honestly I just think live and let live if you want to cook all day and like it's like that message we just had from that lady she loves being like a mom and a wife and some people do and some people don't and you should just do what you want to do in life like be who the fuck you want to be if you're not hurting anyone then who cares like does it matter but there's also seems to almost be sometimes almost the other way that if you don't choose a career now and an independent life you know and have an independent revenue stream of your own that in some way you are selling yourself short by choosing the other option of being a more traditional wife and I think there's space for all of it space for for everything Imo would you be a trad wife I don't think so in the fact that I think that the woman should be serving like in that definition of the woman's there to just like serve her husband and children and cook and clean do this that and the other and supporting her husband's role as the primary bread winner like i i think for some people that really works i wouldn't say that that would work for me first of all i don't have a husband so you know it wouldn't work it anyway but um and i uh yeah i mean i think it really depends on what you want to do i don't think there's an issue if that's what you want to do yeah then be happy to do that but i i don't think i think people have an issue because they see people kind of doing this and almost like promoting it in inverted commas i don't necessarily think they're promoting it i think they're just creating content and that's what it is they're putting it online yeah right nara's maybe a different case where that isn't evidently what she's doing and she's doing a caricature of it and therefore i think that i yeah i don't really know it's it's a weird one isn't it you know i don't want people to feel like women should be back in the kitchen doing this that and the other but also like if they want to be yeah but if they want to be great and not one size fits all you know um yeah it really depends i do think and i have always said that i think that you do limit your options of freedom if you're a trad wife and you don't work That's my only thing with it is that, and also it depends who your husband is.

1:08:50Like I'm, obviously I work and I earn really good money as far as the general population would go. But compared to my husband, it's pittance. But I think that you're at risk. You have the means of freedom. Yeah, and I have the, and the thing with me is, is that earning money has always meant freedom. Like, you know, you can do what you want when you want. You can walk away from being in a situation that you don't want to be in. And I often find that especially with this podcast, we have quite a lot of exposure to women who are financially controlled because they're in this traditional wife situation.

1:09:29And that's my only issue with Trad Wife. Now, if you have a gorgeous husband that is very much like this is your contribution and this is mine and he sees that as equal contribution and you have complete free access, both sides, then it's not an issue, right? But as soon as the money and that breadwinner thinks that they're better, they have some form of control that you need to ask permission, that's when it shifts. And so often than not, we see that, like we see that more than we see the other side of things. you know especially with with modern men it's not so much with with with you know generations that are older than us but it's more like our generation and you do we see it all the time and maybe our exposure to it is more but we see this thing of the men thinking that they are more that they are more important that they have more control because it's their money and I think if If you're lucky enough to have a husband, yeah, that doesn't think of it as their money and it's your pot and you're both contributing, then that's great.

1:10:42But we see so many women that are then in a situation where they're in an unhappy marriage. They feel undervalued. They have no route of escape because they have no financial freedom. That for me is a major, major issue. And that's why I do think that women should work just for the option. or if you don't want to work you need to have the option of of being able to have your own pot of gold your own little pot of runaway money that is from their pot and it might be that they have you know they earn 100 quid a month and you get 20 of that you know to obviously hopefully the earnings are more than that but just proportionally like are you able to save independently from that pot and I think if you are then having a trad wife situation is is ideal but you always need to make sure in life that you have got financial independence because that ultimately means freedom and everybody should feel free and independent in life and that's just my only you know thing with the trad wife and that honestly that's why I still that's why I still work even though I'm super fortunate to be married to who I you know I'm married to a guy that's in a great financial situation but if Andrew like you know left me tomorrow for a 25 year old obviously I'd be devastated but it wouldn't devastate my me financially you know and I just think it's so

1:12:05Anna Williamson:important well it gives you choice and it gives you autonomy and it gives you self-esteem self-confidence and all of these lovely important things that we all need where we are in a relationship because we want to be not because we need to be and to your point Lou many people find themselves stuck in relationships because there is no financial freedom and and as you say every relationship and they're so unhappy some of these women that you know I know I know super wealthy couples and the wife doesn't work and she's desperately unhappy and wants to get out but just puts up with this shitty life with a shitty husband because she worries about what her life will look like without the button it's just I couldn't think of anything worse than being trapped like that so that's my only umbridge is that the right word for with uh the trad wife thing very interesting what do you think lufanians let us know maybe you are in different setups around this maybe you have any strong opinions or strong experiences yourself around it and you want to share let us know luana at everything luana.com um we'll just quickly we'll see the next topic before we crack on to the last part.

1:13:16Anna Williamson:This is a classic Luana story. Indiana man has accused of cutting off his genitals, using them to set fire in a mother's garage. That's the kind of new story we're talking about. So a man from Indiana is facing a felony charge. Okay, that is pretty bad. After he allegedly cut off his genitals and used the dismembered organ, so his knob, to start a garage fire. So he basically, his knob started a fire. So a 36-year-old man called Christopher Pedden from Indiana is facing a count of felony arson stems from a fire he allegedly set in his mother's garage in May, according to court documents. Firefighters were dispatched to the garage fire around the same time that local police were called to a report of stabbing, according to court documents.

1:13:58Anna Williamson:Though Peddan first told authorities at the scene he was stabbed while downtown and that he had been threatened by someone the day prior, he later told an officer whilst at hospital that he went into the garage around 2am and used a kitchen knife to cut off his genitals. wow after cutting off his knob he's obviously lost his mind he's he's a very very sick man he's in a crisis he said he then poured gasoline on the organ set it on fire before leaving the garage a gasoline container four lighters and a kitchen knife were found at the scene his brother who lives at the mother's house where the fire started said he was woken up by neighbours who'd come over to tell him about the fire apparently the brother and the mother were at home so that's the new one girls we've never had arson by flaming knob dick but there we are that is wild how do you even survive like cutting off your knob surely you die there's like a lot of blood vessels in there bleed out I need to know more well he's now knobless I don't know if it's a knob or a testicle or a testicle either like there's got to be a lot of blood vessels there maybe he was like having like sick sexual thoughts and he was like I've just got to chop it off to stop myself getting these urges like a self-castrate It's a fetish though, isn't it?

1:15:12Anna Williamson:That we've talked about it before on the pod, this kind of fetishist about cutting off genitals is a thing. And maybe he was there. I mean, oh, it's too weird. It's too weird, but not weird enough because it's time for It's the Widow of the Week. Right. We've got a message from Anon. So we've called you Mike Litzwet.

1:15:38That's a good one. says hi Luanamo love the pod and all that jazz please keep me in on give me a funny porn name I have a weird of the week in response to the man who rates his showers it reminded me of something that my stepdad used to do when I was younger and I think I must have pushed the memory into the depths of my mind to not have to think about it until the shower rating brought the memory flooding back I'm not sure if he still does this though I wouldn't be surprised if he does but my stepfather used to rate his shits. We're talking on a scale of 1 to 10 on ease, texture, sound, and the all-important wipe test.

1:16:15For example, if it was an easy poo that required no force and a clean wipe, that would be a solid 10 out of 10. That's like a clean chop-off, isn't it? He used to come out of the bathroom and announce his rating so casually to us as he'd pass us on the landing. I think deep down he knew I hated it because I didn't want to be discussing my stepfather's toileting habits but he did it anyway to get the joy in seeing our faces grimace at the thoughts what made it worse is that after a while even I began rating my toilet trips pretty sure this is some sort of insane behavior that I've forgotten all about all these years is it a weird thing to do or do other people do this please keep me in on and even though my mother will absolutely know this is about her husband.

1:16:59All the best from Pembrokeshire.

1:17:01Anna Williamson:Well, there's Rate My Pew, isn't there? There's that very popular site or whatever. Not that we've been on it much. I don't think I've ever been on it. Do you know what I do sometimes is I like count how long my wee goes on for. Do you? I do that. Yeah, to see like how long my wee is and is it going to be like the longest wee I've ever done? Yeah. Okay, I can't relate, but I love the fact that you guys do that. Don't you think like this is going to be a really good way and then you're like one, two, three, four. And then you're like trying to count. Is your way going to go on for over a minute?

1:17:37Could you get it to a minute and a half?

1:17:40Anna Williamson:Stop. I do genuinely, like it has happened actually on this holiday about five or six days ago because it's still in my mind because I had to come out and tell Alex about it. You know when you just have the perfect poo where, you know, I'd been quite sort of bunged up and everything. And then, you know, you go for that morning loo after the coffee and it was just perfection. It was a pudini. And I said to Alex, I said, I've lost two stone. Like, this is a really great moment. Really great moment. He was thrilled for me. Ah! Right. Next one. Love that. Love that for you now. So Frida Wang. Hi, Luanimo.

1:18:16Anna Williamson:Love the pod and all that jazz. Call me Frida Wang as I've got a weirdo of the week for you. This is on behalf of my brother-in-law who gave me permission to send this in. I was recently at a family dinner and we were all going around sharing things that are slightly weird or unique to us individually. All of it was pretty standard, nothing too crazy, until we got to my brother-in-law. When it was his turn to go, he shared that when he uses a public bathroom, he likes it when the seat is still warm from the previous person. Obviously, my siblings and I just stared at him, followed by a collective, what?

1:18:45Anna Williamson:He thinks it's totally normal. I think it's weird. What about you? Weird. That's weird. That would give, oh, I wouldn't like that. A warm seat. from like someone's stranger's arse. Ick. Oh no. That's weird to like that. Weird. Oh. Weird. I think even weirder than rating the poos actually. That is my winner. Me too. The love of a warm toilet seat. Imo, Bog Warmer is the weirdo of the week. Perfect. Noted. Congratulations, Bog Warmer. Now it is that time of the week where we see if Zisman is holding in a little rant she needs to expel. Do you have one, Lulu? I'm just going to rant about school holidays.

1:19:32Like, they're too long. My kids are really annoying. They, like, constantly can't get shit done. Do you know what annoys me as well about my children? So both Andrew and I work, OK? We both have offices at home. Let me tell you, those children will never set foot in his office when he's working. It's like a no-go zone. They have no interest in him being there. Yet my office is like a rotating door of fucking children, dogs, my parents. Like, I'm like, I go in there to get shit done. I shut the door. Clearly, if the door is shut, that is a sign. Stay the fuck out. No, that door, boom, boom, boom, boom.

1:20:12It's like constantly opening. Even my fucking dad, I was trying to do something the other day. So go into my office, shut the door. My dad just walks in. I'm like, why are you in here? He comes in to tell me about dog food. I'm like then do you know what annoys me even more is that my mum or dad will then say I'm being rude because I'm like doing something on like my phone or the laptop oh you're being rude you're not listening to me well the reason why I'm in here and I've shut the door it's because I don't want to fucking speak to anyone or see anyone nobody has any respect for my privacy that's why that's like nothing I can't shit on my own I can't wee on my own I can't work alone I just want to be

1:20:48Anna Williamson:alone hard hard relate hard relate do it to their father no they don't even like nat comes in yeah there's there is there is almost like i'm like yes yeah yeah i'm busy same here with alex and i work remotely alex is doing all his client check-ins while we're away for all his his pt and nutrition clients when alex is working it's like sacred daddy's daddy's daddy's daddy's working now on the balcony so he's like don't talk to me i'm in the middle of doing something with a client I'm then doing an hour of admin or something like that as you say I'm wiping arses I'm opening bottles of water I'm fixing a piece of Lego that's broken I'm trying to get kids back on Wi-Fi fucking annoying and I go back I'm like you have another parent mummy is working mummy is busy and they don't care they don't care they don't give a shit I have to physically remove my children it is do you know what it goes back into that trad wife thing back into the trad wife thing even if you work you're still a trad wife it's always it just fucks me off it's like oh daddy's working I'm like mummy's fucking working my space yeah so annoying it's a good rant Lou when Andrew's in the shower they don't walk in on him yeah I can't shower without having two people stare at me I mean I'm the dog I love the dog though I don't mind the dog I don't like the children but I don't mind the dog anyway that is my rant school holidays needs to be over now but listen that is it for this week's Luanna the podcast don't worry we will be here every Monday.

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