THE ROAD TRIP 2025: DAY 2

0:01This is a Global Player original podcast.

0:05Anna Williamson:Be warned, it's Luana and this podcast contains honest, upfront opinions, rants, bants and general explicit content. But you know you love it. Hello. Hello and welcome. Welcome to some extra guffage on day two of Luana the road trip. Lots is happening. Well, lots happened yesterday. Lots is happening today. I mean, day two, let's be honest, we were at the gooch of the road trip. So we're looking forward to sharing with you right now exactly what we got up. We got a nan visit. It's a cracker. This is a nice looking cafe. Catley's, love the shade. It's like a coral peachy pink. I can smell aroma.

0:49Anna Williamson:We're at Catley's Bakery in Bristol with the lovely Hannah. Hi. There she is. She's very famous. She's off Bake Off and everything. Bake Off. Bake Off professionals, not just a shitty one. Right. Like that. She went in hard, she went in the pro. She's got four, four of these cattleys all around, what, this Bristol area. And she's got a central bakery, everything. I've been learning already. We just went in with the sourdough chat. But listen, Hannah, we are here to work. We're also here to eat. Yes, we can help with that. So, yeah, you need to give us some jobs. Shall we go and see what you got?

1:24Anna Williamson:I need to tackle the queue. Do you have a pinny? Can we have a little penny or something? We can give you some aprons, yeah. Yeah, just so we look professional. Yeah, yeah, 100%. Okay, perfect. Well, let's get to it. This looks like a nice... Good morning and welcome to Kathleen's. Can I get you? I can do it. Look at these lovely smiles this morning. I'm your maitre d'. I'm just loving watching them two working. They need to speed it up, speed it up. Cue's out the door. They're very slow. Too many niceties. Just, good morning, what was you like? Bang. Look at Anna. I mean, it's getting bigger and bigger.

1:58I can't wait for my coffee. Good morning. How are you? Welcome to Catley's. What can I get you? That old lady. They're so slow. Look, she's been waiting ages. I gave her the pastry and she's still waiting for her coffee. Do they even know? Making good coffee takes time. If the coffee came quickly... It's going to die of dehydration. No, it's going to be the best oat flat white he's ever done. tasted. Hey, he's starting to go. His legs are going. It's ready for you, sir. Thank you. It's our first day. Thank you for your patience, everybody.

2:37Anna Williamson:One shy latte. Is it up to my... Brewed by my very bare hands. That's delicious, actually. Is it actually? I'm not even going to lie, guys. Yeah, I will, actually. I'm really quite enjoying this. But I've forgotten we're doing this for anything other than just me genuinely learning. For fun. Anna Williamson, qualified barista and life key now we've put in a good shift I think so yeah if this was a trial for a job yeah and who would you be choosing to employ you could only choose one person yeah you can't be nice about it that's horrible isn't it or maybe you could choose for our skills I feel like I would hire Anna for coffee I didn't really get the chance I think you are the better with customer service Well that surprised me.

3:21That did surprise me I'm going to be honest. That just shows how disingenuine I can really be. Take it till you make it. It's my life. That's what I'm doing. Oh, here she is. Thank you so much. Would you employ Hilda? As management to oversee things.

3:40Anna Williamson:Hilda's quite good at quality control. Absolutely. We are off now. Where are we off to? Gloucester Services. Emma, why is Gloucester Services on the itinerary? Because I've never been, eh? I've heard it's one of the best services, if not the best service in the UK. Okay, this is big chat. It's like farm shop vibes. Excuse me? Farm shop vibes. Are we talking celebrity farm shop? Yeah, it's farm shop vibes. It can't be, not in a services off the M5. Well, we'll see. Who's told you this? Many people. Now I would like to say that I'm also widely known as a farm shop connoisseur. Exactly. So this will be the test.

4:21And also it was on the way to the following stop. Well this is great actually. Love a farm shop. Exactly. Love a farm shop. And also I wasn't sure when lunch would happen so I thought we might pick up some bits for the girl. Do they have a farm shop cafe? Are we going to do a lunch on the go? Probably yeah. So everybody buy a sarni from the farm shop. Scotch egg.

4:43Anna Williamson:Little van. If they have a Scotch egg. Eggy farts. Yeah. Oh, God, no. You're not allowed a Scotch egg. Yes. If they have a Scotch egg. I'm going to eat a beans and cheese toastie. Fine. I've got no issue with that. I'm going to dust everyone out. This is actually probably the most exciting part of the road trip so far for me. Right, we're in. We're in. I love a farm shop. This is the best services in England. Wuff, wuff. Oh, now we're talking. This is just me. Here I am with my basket, with the bottled things. Oh, this is just too much. Can I just say, they've only gone and done it, because not only do they have the scotch egg, which is a favourite of mine, but they have the arancini, which is an Italian delicacy, which is a favourite of my husband.

5:33Anna Williamson:Everyone's a winner in this one. I'm buying flippers from the service station. Right, ladies, this is, I think it's Upton Upon Seven. What are we? The Sea of Seamen? Upton Upon Seven. This is the River Seven we're going over. This is so beautiful. We're heading to Minge Lane. Minge Lane? Look how lovely this is. Two minutes to Minge Lane? Oh, my God, that's so nice. How exciting. It's just round the corner. Imagine having to tell that every time you ring up to have something delivered. Dress please. Minge. That is minge as in minge. Oh my God. Oh my God. They're dressed as minges. I'm obsessed.

6:20Anna Williamson:Oh my God. This is the best reception we have had all weekend. Hello. Here's a car. Hello. Hello. We've got two vaginas with us today. Welcome. So how long have you been listening to Luanna? Ever since I didn't listen to Loose Lips. And then when the one who shot me. The new one. It's alright, it brought us to where we are now. So I started listening from the beginning of Luanna. Oh, thanks for listening. From fingering ho to Minge Lane. We are here with our wonderful Lufanians, Emily and Sam. Hello. And Poppet and Pumpkin. Oh cute. They wrote in and let us know about mingelay. So naturally we've come.

7:06We've cleaned their sign. They weren't proud of it. It was Phil. I've got my hands and knees. I've cleaned it. We've left our mark on it.

7:15Anna Williamson:And we've minged ourselves up. So I say these are truly fanions that have driven an hour. Oh Bart, hi. Not happy. Not happy. So not happy. Truly fanions in these guys, they've driven an hour to come and meet us. here at Minge Lane. Ladies, we applaud you. Thank you. Well done. And there we have it. Minge Lane has been luannan. Hi, I'm Gary. Hi Gary. Hi Gary. And I've had too much to drink. Yeah, good boy. And we're now leaving Belend and going to Licky End with the girls. We are! We are! Right, next stop, Licky End. And obviously we've come to the Licky End convenience store. So here we go, the girls are on the gins on tins.

8:04Anna Williamson:It's like a hen do, honestly. Licky End's first school for the first lick of your life. We're in... Mia's Lane! And it's about to absolutely cack it down! Here we are in Swarland Road! This has been a great whistle stop tour with Ellie and the crew and of course, Gazza! That was so much fun. Ellie and the crew arranged all of this for us. Last meeting, Carrie, we did a whistle-top stop tour. Bellend, Lickilend, Niarslend and Twatlin Road. Interestingly, all very close together, Anna. It's lovely. Now we're off to see Imo's grandma. We are. We're off to see Imo's grandma. She's turning, what is she?

8:5990. She's turning 90. So we've got my flowers that don't look that impressive. It's fine. It's fine. At least you've got flowers. They look like they're dying. How long is... What do you call her? Granny? Grandma? Grandma. Grandma.

9:16Anna Williamson:So we've come up north from Thatch Cottage. A place called Hartford up in Chester. And we are going to meet... Imo's nan. Or grandma. Grandma. What's my nanny used to do? Like the chairs went on. Oh, Sheila. Oh, Sheila. Oh, it's so nice to see you. It's nice to see you too. It really is. Honestly, I miss my nan so much. Do you? It's so nice to meet Imoji. Sheila, did you make the cake? No. I did. Did you? I did make the cake, yes. What sort of cake did you do from? I got a film this morning, maybe. No, you didn't. You're lying. No, I did not. I did. Really? Oh, Grandma doesn't lie. This is the special.

9:54Anna Williamson:This is Dad. This is Dad of Imojin. Papa Paul. Papa Paul. Papa Paul. Or as Anna likes to call you, Ian. So, here we are. We're at my Grandma's house because I planned this road trip. You wanted to see your Grandma? So we popped in, didn't we? Can I say as well, Grandma Sheila, that technically now you're all our grandmas. Oh, good. I really miss mine. Oh, well, you can say, will I live in? Oh, ugly adopted grandma. I don't have a grandma either. Would you like to be loose as well? I'm sure I can. I'll take you on. I think family, I'll tell you technically, you want to get in with her, because, you know, she's got a massive house.

10:31Anna Williamson:She lives in Downton. Yeah, she lives in Downton. So it's worth it. Well, thank you. It's lovely to meet your mother. Yeah, she's a good old egg. I'm the normal one. I don't think so. I'm the only normal one. You talk about wearing a gas mask on your first escort. We've all needed a gas mask in the car, thanks to somebody. I had a bit of fluctuance. I had an egg sandwich and it actually made my stomach a bit poorly. I can quite understand. And the thing is, when you're cooped up in the car for hours, what do they expect me to do? Be in agony? No. Sorry. Right. So I had to just release. She quite understands that's enough from you.

11:13That was so lovely and so wholesome. Honestly, I had a lump in my throat half of that. I thought you were going to cry.

11:20Anna Williamson:I did, actually, at one point. She reminds me so much of dead Nana. But she's not dead. So that's great. I just had a talking to, to Imogen. Thumbs up for the room. Yeah, well done that. Well done, you're alive. I just said to her, I said, you need to spend more time with your grandma. Yes, she does. Because when they're gone... They're gone. And you end up like me, being sad and pathetic, adopting an old lady. Right, let's go to our next stop, Blackpool, where we're going to try and help Elufanian pick a wedding dress. Oh, there we go. We're at the ivory dressing room in Blackpool, and we have met lovely Elufanian Nicole.

11:55Nicole, yeah. Who's getting married, and she's behind the curtain trying all dresses. Now, we just thought naturally...

12:01Anna Williamson:Well, it's obvious, when in Rome and all that, when in Blackpool. Do you know what? It's so nice to be back up in Blackhurst. Just saying to Bev, honestly, I lived up here for a little stint in my late teens, Lou. And you know what? This is when I truly, honestly felt the northern love when I came to Blackpool. There I was, a little peasant southerner, little peasant southerner. You had a lot of northern love, didn't you? I did. All right, zook. And then I did, actually. I fell in love up here. I'm not going to lie. OK. Right, ready? Three, two, one. Ta-da!

12:36Anna Williamson:Well here we are, we have drunk, we've laughed, cried, we've found a bloody dress. We have. We've found a dress. Massive, massive thank you to Brett, Bev, Mel, here at the Ivory Dressing Room in Blackport and of course big congratulations to Nicole who said yes! We would like to say that Truly Funnians, they've given us a goodie bag. A bag of shit. It's exactly. And we are now off. I'm hoping everyone likes this. I haven't been for two decades, but to Funny Girls. Right, OK. We've been hailed on. We've been through lightning, thunder and hailstones to get here. Absolutely freezing. But we're here and we are at Funny Girls.

13:23Anna Williamson:Quite honestly, this is the night hour. If you come up north, if you come to Blackpool, everyone knows about Funny Girls. It's the cabaret club. Can't wait. Haven't been in decades. It's iconic, it's an institution and I cannot wait to check it out. Let's go! Oh my god, it is the same.

13:43Anna Williamson:This is so fun, I've not been here since I was 19 years old and we used to come all the time. It's so camp and fun. And it's not changed! That crowd, let me tell you, I've never been to Blackpool and that vibe was electric. And I get up again. If you want a feel good night, get yourself to Blackpool to Funny Girl. It's where it's at. I think I have a regular chicken shawarma kebab. We have chicken teakaf. Chicken teakaf. yes we'll go with her oh no she's got a dead flying head oh no i don't mind the old flight i mean words extra protein well what a bloody chaotic day too we started off in bath to bristol up the m5 all the way to cheshire then finally to blackpool i want to say a huge thank you to Hannah at Catley's to Gloster Services for being fantastic to Emily and Sam who met us at Minge Lane dressed as mingers to Ellie and her crew who took us around Bellend Licky End, Twatling Road Me Arse Lane, thank you so much to them to my lovely grandma Sheila for her hospitality cooking us a gorgeous cake and providing lots of tea and to Brett at the Ivory Dressing Room and Nicole our gorgeous Luanna Bride who we helped find a dress for it was so much fun and of course funny girls and the kebab shop at the end of the night this was just a fraction of what we got up to on the day so make sure you head over to our youtube channel to watch everything in full so there we have it blackers we left on a high for day two we left on a high we did indeed we had a cracking day meeting all of our wonderful families we met so many what was your highlight I can't even remember how many my highlight was probably I loved playing dress up with the wedding dresses that was fun yeah that was loved seeing grandma oh there's so many so many I love meeting Ellie and her crew and doing our little hunt around all the place names and the thunder and the lightning and the funny girls it was just an epic day yep now don't forget tomorrow we have got our usual episode of Luana, totally extra.

16:16And then on Friday, we're bringing you another bump from the road trip. It is day three from the road trip. So do tune in to all of those. This is a five day a week Luana this week, guys. See you then. Bye for now.

16:32This is a Global Player original podcast.