TOTALLY EXTRA: Anna- Woman of the People, Parcel Parcel & a Secret Sugarbaby

0:02This is a Global Player original podcast. Be warned, it's Luana and this podcast, excuse me, contains honest upfront opinions, rants, bunts and general explicit content. But you're here and you know you love it. People listen to this podcast. I don't want you to think that Anna is of the people.

0:21Anna Williamson:She is not. The thing that I shouldn't like, but I really do like and give me great pleasure was saxophone covers. That is quite juicy. I said, Mummy, someone has been in the house, so I have there, and they've left meat and sauce in the toilet. Wow.

0:43This is Thursday. Hey.

0:46Anna Williamson:Aloha. We're all in the house. Yes. Hi, guys. It is Luanna Totally Extra. So it's Extra Rants, Chats, Confessions, Stories, Youve. Before we buff hunt in though, do please make sure that you have subscribed to our podcast. Subscribe now on YouTube. Follow, follow, follow. If you're on YouTube, you'll also see Crumble occasionally. He's actually been asleep for a long time. Under your chair. Yes. Anyway, it's a fresh Thursday. Let's kick in with an ick from Anonymous. So coriander. Very good. When I have an ick, people who wear scrunch bum leggings and they don't have a bum to fill them. Because they're trying to make it look like they have a bum.

1:22Anna Williamson:I'm currently in the gym and there are two people wearing them with flat pancake arses. I can't stop staring, but at the same time, I'm gagging. Is it just me? I've got a flat arse. Me too. I don't like my flat arse. You both have got nice arses. Don't even lie. I'll be perfectly honest with you, girls, I never really looked. I've got a flat arse. Yeah. Yeah, it's quite flat. I've tried to work on it in the gym. Never grows. Maybe now with my creatine supplement It might start growing Mine looks like someone slammed a door against it And it's just stayed that way It's so flat I mean and I don't really know what kind of an arse I've got to be honest Stand up let me have a look Well I mean Oh no you've got a nice arse No you've got quite a good arse Yeah Nice curvature Well we can't relate but we love the message So thanks Right voice note from Charlie Hi, ladies.

2:19This is a little response to that lovely lady who voice noted in and said she wanted to start a new segment about all the strange good things that you love in life. And I love this because I already do this with one of my good friends. It's kind of like we send each other little notes about the weird, fun, good things that happen to you. um so like if um you're in a really busy um shop and there's a massive queue and then another aisle opens and you're the first one in the aisle it's such a good feeling and i just had another one just now where a vintage package has arrived i know a lot of listeners love the vintage on your show and but it arrived and a bit of a dodgy one pair of trousers very rarely fit but tried them on perfect fitting vintage trousers they're so flattering and it was like oh my god this is the best thing ever um so i think we need to start a new segment i don't know what it's called um you guys uh need to brand it uh the good the good weird things that happen to you vibe um yeah love

3:31Anna Williamson:it lots of love charlie we love that i was i was going to mention this actually a few weeks ago then completely forgot. But yeah, the same sort of thing, like a guilty pleasures. The things that we're probably a bit embarrassed to admit really give us that much joy or that we shouldn't really like, but we do like. Because mine was the other week, I realised I was in an Uber. And it wasn't stinky. It wasn't stinky. No, the radio was on, but he was listening to a particular station. I don't know what station it was or maybe it was even a playlist. I don't know. But it was saxophone, you know, like in a Lyft or like in a hotel in Vegas.

4:07Anna Williamson:They've got that sort of saxophone, but playing pop numbers. Oh, yeah. And I was sitting in the car listening to it and it was, you're beautiful. But the saxophone version with a little bit of, you know, vibration. It made you really happy, didn't it? It was so happy. It was like... She's buzzing about this. And then it moved into Take That, you know, on the sax. Probably just a playlist. Probably a playlist. But I realised, yeah, that is the thing that I shouldn't like, but I really do like and give me great pleasure, was saxophone covers. I like it if I ever do go to a supermarket, which as you know is rare, that when you pack the shopping, it's like you do the meat in one.

4:45Fridge stuff. The fridge stuff, the cupboard stuff. Crispy stuff. The freezer stuff. Yeah. Yeah, that's good. That brings me great joy. Yeah. But it's rare. Rare. But it's joyful when it happens.

4:56Anna Williamson:I can relate to the till thing. I defected from Aldi. Again, I had to do a pop into Lidl the other day. And just as I don't often do that, but I did it. and same thing. Suddenly, I'm there thinking, oh, it's a bit of a queue and then the green happened on the next hill. Fucking beelined around there. It is a great feeling that. Right in the front. I was having that really good feeling. Ims, Bex, you got anything to share? One thing that I love that is just very humdrum but is fabulous. I love a bottle bank. Oh. The drop of a bottle into a big pile of bottles. It's just a nice lovely feeling. Guilty pleasures.

5:31Bex, you must have one. Well, have a think. She's got nothing. But we've got Anna's ones for you I'm going to take it A bin story from Kate Why thank you my friend I would be delighted I'll let you read the bin story

5:41Anna Williamson:A bin story or a parking story That's my porn My name's Kate and I'm a veterinary nurse A few years ago my little cat Ralph sadly got run over and died Oh that's really sad I took him to work and I got him cremated Perk of the job I paid extra to get his ashes back in a lovely patterned cardboard box So that we could bring him home and scatter his ashes in the garden At the same time, I ordered a lovely ceramic cat to put in the garden and mark where his ashes were. I love that. When the ashes arrived home, I put both the box with the pot cat in and my cat's ashes by the back door, ready to put him in the garden the next day.

6:17Anna Williamson:So when I went to get the ashes and the pot cat, the next day I couldn't find them. Odd. So I rang my husband to see if he knew where they were. He stuttered a bit and then told me he thought they were just cardboard boxes. No, and he put them in a recycling bin and put the bins out for collection. I was horrified. I ran out to check the bins and was so upset to find they'd already been empty to see very efficient bin men. After calling the council, which was a very odd conversation, they said they hadn't come across them and there was no chance of them getting back. I mean, how would you, right?

6:46Anna Williamson:I was devastated at the time. Eight years on, I can almost laugh about how my little Ralphie made it into a Rice Krispie box, but my husband was grovelling for a long time. A year later, when his brother died, I then had a dilemma of what to do with his ashes. I was half tempted to put them in the recycling bin so they could be together, but I didn't. His ashes were kept well away from my husband until we put him in the garden. Poor little cat. Right, we've got a voice note rant from Renovation. Hello, Luanna and Nemo. I've got a little rant for you all. And Anna, I think this one's for you. This is my first time voice noting and I've just spent the last six months catching up and I'm currently in November 2025.

7:27thanks for keeping me sane whilst renovating my first house with my husband which brings me on to my rant go on please everyone stop fucking asking me when do you think you're moving in then have you nearly finished what's taking so long me and my husband both work full time with our weekends taken up doing up our house oh it's very little help as we want to make some money off this thing yeah i don't think people realize how fucking expensive materials are and how fucking short weekends are also how long planning and building control processes can take so yeah everyone fuck off and enjoy your new builds i assume we're going down the theme of porn star drag names still so please keep me anonymous and give me a name of your choosing mo thank you a Renny

8:20Anna Williamson:I mean nothing to add other than we need to go and have a drink sister because everything you just said but you know what and this is the other thing that everyone says it'll be worth it in the end it'll be worth it in the end it will you're moving back in soon yeah we're nearly there we're nearly there I'm getting very excited I mean this renovation I'm about to start one yeah you are I just don't go on about mine like Anna does well mine's been it's exciting I've never done one before seven years in the making house reno. No, this is like our first little house reno. Please don't do another one.

8:51Anna Williamson:Oh, we're never doing it again. Can I just say, your house looks insane. Thanks, Bex. It's worth it. She was coming. Thanks, mate. I need to come and see her. You do need to. It hopefully should be ready before you go back to doobs. So, thanks, Bea. Yeah, it's been a long slog, as you all know. But, I mean, what are you going to do when I'm... Fucking celebrate. What are you going to do when I stop talking about my house reno? To be fair, we both talked about our house reno's yesterday. I showed you my pictures of mine. Oh, we did do that. You showed me just a bit of wood and a bit of leather that she was really excited about.

9:23I was really excited about that. What do you think? Does it go together? I was like, yeah, it looks nice.

9:25Anna Williamson:And then she was like, you haven't seen my full reno. I mean, her reno is lovely. I'm going to have stripes in my pool. Oh, yeah. It's very soho house, actually, that pool. Bit of Beverly Hills. Yes. Hotel. Yeah, that's exactly it. Really nice. Anyway, loved that. We need to go for a drink. Hopefully mine will be done by the time I get back to Dubai. That's how quickly. Get that bad boy turned around. Like in eight years this one's been doing that right now. Listen, but I'm with her. Because when you're doing it yourselves, it takes a while. She's, that woman is doing it herself at the weekend with her husband.

10:03How many tiles have you done? She's literally, that woman is tiling and chopping fucking wood. What do you mean doing it yourself? You've got a whole team of people there. You don't hard relate to her. Can I just say, I went and visited Anna's Renault. and Anna walks in like the queen as they're all around there. She swans in and swans out and then has the audacity to say when you're doing it yourself. Listen, people listen to this podcast. I don't want you to think that Anna is of the people. She is not. She's got a whole fucking team and in a minute she's going to say, yes, but Alex went to Travis Perkins at 5am and screeded.

10:43That's what you were about to say. I wasn't actually.

10:45Anna Williamson:No, I was about to own up to it and I was about to own up because I did walk in and that is exactly what I do. And I can't lie because all these trades people do. But hello to Henry. Henry, who was part of the tiling team. Henry's mum loves Luanna. When I went in, Henry came. He went, I've got to say it. My mum's a massive fan. I was like, nice one. Henry's actually doing the grout today. So thanks, Henry, for that. But I do swan in. They all know this. I go, all right, lads. I'll compliment them a bit. I'll ask anyone if they want a coffee. then I'll tell Alex to go and do the coffee run. Brilliant.

11:19Anna Williamson:I went in the other day, and I'm going to confess this. I'm really sorry, boys. I don't know who it was, but someone left a whole pack of Percy pigs on the stairs. You didn't. I fucking swiped half that pack. That is so mean. That's like their energy and their food. And they can't leave the house to go and get another pack. They're charging enough. They're charging enough. It's fine. It's fine. I'll bring you a pack of Percy pigs. Well done to all our trades people. I always used to make bacon sarnies for mine. We got no... I'd come out with a tray of bacon. Well, I've sent Al down to Day's Bakery.

11:47Anna Williamson:That'll do. No, but anyone working on my house, we love you. Thank you very much. And keep hurrying up. Thank you. Can you hurry up, please? What do airport pints, sun lounge awards and McDonald's and our beef are all have in common? We are talking about them on Shouldn't Laugh But with me, Laura Smith. And me, Carmen Butcher. This week, we're asking whether early morning airport drinks should be banned following Ryanair's boss getting the hump over pre-flight pints. We're also talking sun lounge awards after one tourist actually got a payout for missing out on a poolside bed. Plus, we'll get into the worst offence we've committed on a tube.

12:21We'll give you a hint. Stinks a fish. Expect strong opinions, holiday horror stories and probably a few things we shouldn't laugh at. But obviously, we will anyway. Listen and watch Shouldn't Laugh But on Global Player, YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts. I knew I was a twat when. Oh, well, I think we've just established mine. I knew I was a twat when I pretended I was doing the house running myself. Literally. The audacity of it. You do try and be of the bit, and you're not. Like, people say that I'm unrelatable. Can I just say that? Anna just keeps it under wraps. She's trying to out me.

12:56Well, I'll admit to that one. Yeah. Thank you. I'll admit to that one. Right. This is from Jenny. She says, you know those moments when you realise you're a twat and believe something was one way your whole life, like the clean film, clean film thing. Yes. Well, I actually didn't say that I was a twat then, Jenny, but you clearly thought that I was.

13:14Anna Williamson:So thanks for that. Look, between Lou and I, we've had many I'm a twat and I know it moments. Quite a few for me, always live, caught on camera. Well, I held a birthday party at the weekend for my seven-year-old where we were all going to play the old classic Pass the Parcel. Nice. Except I made a fool of myself when I gathered all the kids into a circle to play what I had always known as Parcel Parcel. Always humbling when the seven-year-olds correct you. What a twat. Parcel, parcel. Come on, children. Parcel, parcel. No, it's past the parcel. God bless you. Fuck off, Johnny. God bless you. Well, you know what I would have done then?

13:52Anna Williamson:I would not have stopped the music on Johnny. Yeah. I'm like, fuck you, Johnny. You're correcting me. You're not getting that yo-yo. No, exactly. And that bag of Haribo. When you do the past the parcel, do you do the bluey version where there's only one gift? Have you seen that bluey? Yes, one gift at the end. Let's not fanny about. Because in Bluey, they had it that every rapper got a gift. Nah. And then Bluey's dad was like, that's not how you play it. That's not how you play it. And then they had to, I don't know why I watched this. Because I watched it recently. This is a sentence I didn't think I'd ever hear you say.

14:21You know in Bluey? I mean, are you secretly watching Bluey, Lou? I can't remember why I watched this. Your kids are not even young enough to watch Bluey. And it was recent that I watched this whole episode of Pass Pass. I am sure that it was on our Luanna Facebook group. Lou's guilty pleasure. She's watching Bluey. When we used to play I watched the whole thing. Bluey is great. You used to get like every layer you'd get like a mini packet of Haribo. Yeah, well that's what Bluey's dad doesn't believe in. And then at the end you'd get a big present. Yeah, that's what Bluey's dad doesn't believe in.

14:50I don't like Bluey's dad. You just got to raw dog it. You need to learn in life

14:53Anna Williamson:that there's only one winner. To be fair, I do do a if I do a Pass the Pass which I'm doing a couple of times I do, yeah, stick a lolly, a chop a chop in every layer. You shouldn't give those to other people's kids. Choking hazard. Is it funny how when you're little you really think it's not a chance and obviously parents I know you yeah and they get too fast and then there's like one hand on it and it's like such a dilemma right kids say the funniest things from Jelly Deals Jelly Deals hello I'm not going to give my name for obvious reasons but I feel like you might appreciate my story of my five year old who came downstairs yesterday from school and said mummy someone has been in the house so have that and they've left meat and sauce in the toilet.

15:37I said, what? They've left meat and sauce in the toilet. I know. What on earth is this kid on about? And then I realised, I would like to share with you now, that the meat and sauce was in fact the tampon that I'd flung out before I went in the shower into the toilet. But I'd also just been running and was on my period. So I'd had period shit in the toilet with the tampon. Meat and sauce? Didn't flush it because it would have turned the shower water cold. Thought I'd come back to it. but I hadn't I had not then flushed it but my child had came across it meat and sauce nice meat and sauce

16:09Anna Williamson:I'm never having meatballs ever again that's right that's so bad oh right yum Petty Polly from Anonymous so Aaron Titmarsh Aaron Titmarsh brilliant hi ladies I have a Petty Polly for you good my fave you can call me Aaron Titmarsh I'm from England but live on the beautiful sunny coast sunshine coast in Australia it's hot all year round oh love it and when it rains it rains oh don't love it so it's always beautiful bright and green living conditions and structure are a little bit different here from the UK so it's not abnormal to be living with others in your 30s and dealing with the politics of a house show and all of the draw that comes with that I used to live with two girls we got on really well well kind of until the day I have them my four weeks until I have them my four weeks notice to move out gave them gave them yeah thank you it could have ended really well as I wrote them a nice letter and was a little bit sad about the whole thing but I had outgrown my surroundings.

17:02Anna Williamson:They turned on me like dogs. It got really toxic and it was a long four weeks for me. That's a shame, isn't it? Yeah, the only reason is that they would be left with the aftermath of finding a new tenant or footing my share of the rent. The game is the game, right? They made sure that I scrubbed, cleaned, fixed, mowed, tidied everything they could think of if I ever wanted to see my deposit again. And I can honestly say I was really proud of how I left my living space and was in a much better position than when I moved in. and it was a much better position when I moved in. One thing they made me do was do all the weeding in the garden.

17:34Anna Williamson:For context, we had a large area of pebbles and a lot of weeds coming through right around the perimeter of the house. They sound like absolute assholes. That's so awful. I got on my hands and knees and pulled out every weed on that property. When they were satisfied and I had it in writing that I'd completed that task. What? It's surely their job is the weeding too. It should be shared. But they were holding that deposit. That's awful. I then went and bought two boxes of grass seed and scattered all over the outside of the property, in the stones, flower beds, everywhere, knowing that within days of me leaving that grass would grow like wildfire and they would be the next ones to rip it all out along with all the still rooted weeds that I'd left in the ground.

18:09Anna Williamson:It gives me great satisfaction and they will never assume it was me. Only God's work. Love the pod. Aaron Tipmarsh. Good for you. What a good petty pollen. Yeah, really good. How dare they? That's so mean. Listen, karma is a bitch. Do you know what? Also, she had every right to me though. Yeah, be nice to people for goodness sake. Right, we've got a voice note rant from Beccanex. Oh, is this you? no hey loanamo i'm coming to you with a live rant about passwords since when did passwords get so freaking difficult i know we have hackers and scams and all that shit but why do i need to make a password that's 20 characters long who the hell is going to remember a password that's got 20 characters in when it's got to have an uppercase a lowercase a special character numbers and all the change it every five seconds absolutely ridiculous and it's really pissing me off because my first problem is that I don't know what to write that's 20 characters long and the second thing is when I think of something I'm not going to remember it I'm going to then come to use it again next week or in a month whenever it's going to be and i'm going to have forgotten it and then i'm going to have to think of a new one that's another 20 characters long what the fuck anyway rant over um i've never sent a voice note before but i love the podcast and big shout out to my stepmom gina who recommended it to me years ago amazing thanks gina oh my gosh great rant great They ran passwords.

19:47Anna Williamson:They drive me up the bloody wall. Me too.

19:52Queen Carvania stood haloed by the morning sun. An army hung on her every word. My champions, I have sold my chariot on Carvana. It was a lovely SUV, an inexplicably queenly offer. They're even coming to the castle to collect it. Tonight we feast.

20:16Anna Williamson:An offer you can feast on. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pick up fees, may I apply. Time for some confessions. I've never told anyone this, but girls, here's my confession. I'm pretending to be single so I can be a sugar baby. I've been married for five years to my teenage sweetheart, and we do have the best marriage. But I'm quite private, outwardly, online, etc., with my relationship. So one look at my Insta, you wouldn't know. Well, a man slid into my DMs and wanted to give me money, and I was hardly going to say no. He didn't want anything in return apart from the odd selfie, nothing dodgy, all of my face or full body and clothes.

20:54He had asked me if I had a man and I lied thinking it would put him off and he was happy with my answer. I'm now being sent little cash sums pretty regularly from this guy because of my lies. I've not told my husband about it either. I just used the money for my me time, for nails, a massage, new clothes. I feel guilty for hiding it from my husband, but it's a sweet deal I've got. What do you think? Am I being awful? well it's a confession that is quite juicy I mean it's juicy I mean I've been up for stuff like that