In short
Luanna Totally Extra is a chaotic mix of listener messages, jokes, “Try Something Fun” (frozen mango in a Savvy BEE wine glass), and explicit banter. They also discuss: charging a partner for sex (including pricing for anal), body-boundary norms for dads bathing with young kids, and a “currency” challenge of tallying gifts/effort during summer holidays. They rant about Greta Thunberg and global warming, and share crude confession-style stories (festival/wee hacks; a sunbed tanning booth fart incident).
Guests
No named guests appear; it’s mainly hosts Luanna, Imogen, and other voices from listener submissions.
Key claims
Frozen mango in Savvy BEE is “delightful.” Bathing with a young child is normal if boundaries are respected. Greta “needs to go in the bin.” Anal pricing is debated (e.g., “£100” suggested).
Notable examples
“Gary the brown dog” euphemism for needing a poo; “Merlin app” bird-spotting; “brown dog” partner cringe; “charging husbands” roleplay voice-note challenge.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Chapters
Tap a time to open that second in VOFinancial Wins: Carvana and Scratchers
0:00 to 0:27
Learn about funny financial wins, including selling cars and lottery successes.
“Best thing that's ever happened to you financially.”
Celebrating Birthdays and Aging
0:45 to 1:42
Discussion about birthdays, aging, and feeling young despite age.
“have sunbeds even though i know it's bad for me this is my kind of content do lesbians do anal you could be just waiting for the answer greta thunberg needs to go in the bin Hello!”
Podcast Engagement
1:42 to 2:26
Hosts encourage listeners to subscribe and follow the podcast.
Listener Message: Tesco Badge
2:26 to 3:12
Discussion sparked by a listener's interesting find in a Tesco store.
“it is your episode So let's muff hunt in.”
Bird Watching Recommendation
3:12 to 4:53
A listener shares a recommendation for a bird watching app.
“I've just recorded an audio for you and then I listened to it and I listened back.”
Joke of the Week
4:53 to 6:13
Listeners share jokes, bringing laughter to the podcast.
“I'm so glad you've brought back Joke of the Week, so I've got a few contenders for you.”
Farting Fun: New Segment Idea
6:13 to 6:52
Hosts brainstorm a fun segment involving fart recordings.
“We need, like, a feature where people just fart.”
Winding Up Partners with Humor
6:52 to 9:29
Discussion about using humor to tease partners about bodily functions.
“Or if I've got a bit of an icky tummy, I'll sigh and say, the brown dog has been left out in the rain.”
New Feature: Try Something Fun
9:29 to 12:45
Hosts try a TikTok trend with frozen mango in wine glasses.
“So I would like you to pop on these sunglasses.”
Listener Letter: Bathing with Daughters
12:45 to 14:00
A listener seeks advice on bathing with his daughter in light of societal concerns.
“First time writing in, and I wanted your opinion on something.”
Show all 24 chapters
Naked Parenting and Body Positivity
14:00 to 15:00
Discussion on body image and parenting, including perspectives on nudity at home.
“Yes, my daughter notices that in the bath I've got a willy and she has a moo-moo as we call it.”
Different Family Norms
15:00 to 16:50
Exploration of varying family attitudes toward nudity and body image.
“If he just, you know, I walk around stark bullet naked, they do not bat an eyelid.”
The Role of Humor in Parenting
16:50 to 18:20
The hosts share humorous anecdotes related to parenting norms and boundaries.
“the bit after that where it says, I can feel something inside me say.”
Charging for Sex: A Discussion
18:20 to 20:30
Conversation about the concept of charging partners for sex, including funny scenarios.
“I keep forgetting, and do you know what?”
Voice Memos and Relationship Games
20:30 to 23:20
The hosts brainstorm ways to record their partners' reactions to humorous propositions.
“Like, it's practically What would you charge?”
The Currency of Love and Gifts
23:20 to 27:00
Discussion on how love languages manifest through gifts and actions in relationships.
“I was listening back to it the other day when we were talking about it, and I was like, yeah, there's a little something about that that's quite appealing, isn't it?”
The Drunk Podcast Era
27:00 to 28:01
Hosts reflect on the dynamics of engaging while drinking wine and invite listener participation.
“I am just going to put a caveat in here.”
Pissed Era Ideas
28:01 to 28:39
The hosts discuss the possibility of doing a 'pissed' episode and reminisce about past specials.
“is like one episode a month we should do like a pissed one.”
Festival Confessions
28:40 to 31:13
A listener shares a humorous story about an embarrassing situation at a music festival.
“Bex has got a naan bread and a baguette.”
Wild Peeing Adventures
31:14 to 31:55
The hosts share their own experiences with public urination, including humorous anecdotes.
“Yeah, but if you're caught in that moment, you need anything to soak up that wax.”
Beach Hacks and Nature Calls
31:56 to 32:18
The hosts discuss practical tips for urinating in nature, providing comical insights.
“And then you just put it to one side and just wee into the sand.”
Global Warming Debate
32:19 to 33:02
A controversial discussion arises as the hosts express their views on Greta Thunberg and climate change.
“I've got to protect our planet because even though global warming...”
A Wedding Day Disaster
33:03 to 35:06
A listener recounts a disastrous tanning salon experience leading to a comical situation.
“Oh, she's even lost control of the mouse now.”
Listener Love and Support
35:07 to 35:57
The hosts express gratitude for their listeners and discuss the impact of their podcast.
“And I made my way to the nearest bin to dispose of the offending bag.”
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00Best thing that's ever happened to you financially. Go. Easy. Sold my car on Carvana. Amazing offer. Really? I hit 200 on a scratcher. Did the scratcher come to your house and hand you a check? No. How many scratchers did you hit to get that? I hit a button on Carvana.com once. Okay, that's fair. It's like the lottery, except you always win. Not like the lottery at all, actually. Exactly. Inexplicably good. Offers worth bragging about. Sell your car today on Carvana. Pickup fees may apply. this is a global production be warned it's luanna and this podcast contains honest upfront opinions rants bants and general explicit content but you know you love it can i just say i i still
0:45Anna Williamson:have sunbeds even though i know it's bad for me this is my kind of content do lesbians do anal
0:54you could be just waiting for the answer greta thunberg needs to go in the bin
1:05Hello! Welcome to Turds Day. It's Thursday, top of the morning to you. This is Luanna, totally extra. Imogen's looking at me weirdly.
1:13Anna Williamson:Would you like to say something, Imogen? Good morning to you. Did I start to sing? Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you, Anna. Happy birthday to you. You old fart. I know, I'm such an old fart. I'm the old fart of the gang, the nana of the group. You are the oldest. How old is Agent Sam? No, she's younger Oh, is she? Gutted Next year Gutted Next birthday I'm now going to be nearer 50 That's fucking awful Well, actually, you're nearer 50 now because you're 45 and you always round up when it gets to the 5 Oh, I'm rounding down So you're 50 I'm rounding down You are 50 If we were to statistically look at you on a piece of paper and we rounded up to the nearest 10 you would be rounded up to 50 And you're also in your 46th year Yeah because you get the badge but how is it like I just feel 20 still do you really do you I don't well not me vag and me energy but everything else I do my mental state it does it nah I'm tired she's tired if you're watching on YouTube hello please press subscribe and if you're listening to us if we are in your ears then please do follow us on your favourite podcast platform it's normally in the top right of your screen right this is Luanna Totally Extra it is your episode So let's muff hunt in.
2:29Anna Williamson:First up, message from Jessica. Hi, ladies. I'm in Newport, Tesco. And I've just spotted... All a badge. This is my kind of content. I'm in Newport, Tesco, and I've just spotted a very interesting badge. Susan started working in Tesco in 1987. That's 39 years. That is a long time. I don't know if that's the oldest, but as soon as I saw it, I wanted a message. Well done, Jessica. Yes, that is the oldest one we've had so far. Yeah. Love that. We've got a voice note from a non. So Marnie's hurting because I sucked you off. Marnie's hurting because I sucked you off. Ridiculous. Hi, Luanimo, Bex and everybody else that makes this wonderful podcast.
3:16I've just recorded an audio for you and then I listened to it and I listened back. And the sound quality was crap. so for immo's sake i have deleted my previous recording and i'm going to re-record it however caveat you will be able to hear my little boy in the background so i apologize um please give me understanding of your choice and i wanted to actually give a listener recosecco yes um baby agrees my little boy agrees um so some of you will have listened to clarkson's farm i'm sure lots of you have and watched Clarkson's farm and there's a lady on there called Hannah who tells Jeremy all about the different birds on his farm and she mentions an app called the Merlin app and I downloaded it and I just wanted to let you know that it is great so my recosecco is to download the Merlin app I've just been walking through the park and I've my phone has picked up about 10, 12 different bird species.
4:20I'm sure none of them are super common. Sorry, super, oh my God, I can't concentrate. I'm sure lots of them are very common. But even so, as somebody that knows nothing about birds, it's really cool to listen to. And then you can click on it and like read more about the birds and learn where they've come from. I just think it's really cool. So yeah, my recoseco is to download the Merlin app. It's really good. hope you're all coping with the heat and thank you for doing what you do lots of love from me and my little boy
4:52Anna Williamson:love that, I think Alex has got that, really? good to do with the kids yeah, I've got a feeling he has good record babes, love that we've got jokes now from Nathan hi Luanamo, man fan Nathan here from Nantgilo Nantgilo in South Wales love the pod, my partner Dan and myself are long time listeners and you all make our week by having us in constant stitches of laughter, brightening up the shittiest of days, so thank you. I'm so glad you've brought back Joke of the Week, so I've got a few contenders for you. What's green and smells of pork? This is one of my favourites. Kermit the Frog's Fingers.
5:36Oh, smells of pork. Finger in it. Wouldn't it be fish? Why? Miss Piggy's a pig. Oh, yeah.
5:53Anna Williamson:Next one. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? Licholodipus. I like that one. It's a good one. It's a good one. What did the sanitary pad say to the fart? Go on. You are the wind beneath the wind. That's a good one. That is a goodie. Love that one. That is a goodie. Great jokes. Keep them coming in, guys. We love them. Oh, next up. Oh, we are throwing this back, guys. This is what we're loving. A bit of... Oh, yeah. Rate my fart from Becky.
6:26Pardon me.
6:34Pardon you.
6:40Fart so much. Do you know what we need? We need, like, a feature where people just fart. but then actually what we want to hear is their partner's reactions because that's almost funnier partner fart reactions than the fart I like yeah pardon you very very good Becky and what is this, Imo's done some production klaxon I've had an idea I've got a thought I want Imo's done some production done some actual production right, I'm setting Luanna a challenge okay you two right I want you next recording when we're in here I want you to bring me the best fart recording you can muster in that time frame okay and I will judge who's got the best fart recording it could be yourselves or it could be someone you encounter but I want the best fart noise I did a really good one yesterday okay we've got one of my brothers we're both on holiday so we're doing remote yeah but I'm gonna well can we bring them to the remote recordings or no yes you can
7:44Anna Williamson:I'll be honest with you my little Enzo he's farted in my face twice this week Challenge Luanna I will challenge you to the best fart and I will score who's the best How do you think this is going to work for me in Sicily going around all the rallies Right, Zio Giuseppe, would you mind farting? Yes What's fart in Italian? Farto No, not farto Gagga is poo I'll figure it out Great, thank you Emma Right, we've got a partner wind-up from Hannah She says, on the topic of winding up partners My boyfriend has a major weakness He absolutely hates any talk of poo or farts Naturally, as a loving girlfriend I see this as an opportunity Quick scroll through TikTok Taught me a new euphemism for needing a poo There's a brown dog barking at the back door I found this hilarious Him, not so much So, of course it's now become a permanent fixture in my daily life Whenever the moment strikes, I'll look at him dead in the eye and casually drop.
8:47The brown dog is back. Or if I've got a bit of an icky tummy, I'll sigh and say, the brown dog has been left out in the rain. Watching him physically cringe and wince every single time makes me absolutely howl. It gets better, though. The brown dog has evolved. He's not just a metaphor anymore. He has a name. The brown dog is Gary. Gary. Gary, the brown dog. Right. Now I can just pop my head into the living room and announce, I'm just going up to go and feed Gary. Or Gary's getting aggressive. Or Gary is scratching at the back door. My boyfriend's despair makes my day every time. Long live Gary.
9:29I love that.
9:30Anna Williamson:The whole new language. A whole new poo language. Gary. Gary. Gary the back door.
9:39Anna Williamson:right imo is actually overachieving uh imo's brand newish try something fun time here we go imz we're ready right you know how last time we tried some ice cream yeah yeah this time i'm going to try and hope you know we're quite hot in a studio but i'm going to try and emulate a lovely hot by the pool fun time. So I would like you to pop on these sunglasses. I just know that randomly I had these sunglasses in that desk drawer. Stop. You did. And then... I'm a bit dirty. I've been recommended this by Tick Tock everybody and this is what we're going to try. At least my glasses are matching my outfit.
10:23It is some frozen mango.
10:25Anna Williamson:Oh, this is better than the cheddar ice cream from last week. I'm starving as well. wine glass nice what's this don't tell me there's like weird shit in it though that you're gonna like then go ha ha no the kids have this I make smoothies out of this some frozen mango in a wine glass I don't trust only I hope you're expensing all these purchases that you've been making Sam will pay you add our good friends at Villa Maria some some savvy bee oh go on okay and you use your mangoes as your ice cubes for this and I've been heard it tastes like the height of summer oh So that's what we're trying today.
11:02Get yourself one of me. Come on, Babs. We need to do a little... Oh, so we're using the mango... As the ice cubes. As the ice cubes for a little... It's got a bit bitty. It looks like someone's back washing it. Wait, wait. We need to do cheers, cheers, cheers. And then we're going to cheers, cheers. We're going to take a sip and then we're going to bask in the tropical... Oh, it does smell lovely. I mean, I love a savvy beer at the best of time. Right, ready. Cheers, guys. One chin chin. Cheers. Yeah, chin chin.
11:36I don't think you can taste the mango quite yet. I can taste the mango. But maybe after a couple of mins. Give it a swill.
11:44Anna Williamson:Hang on, this is lovely. What a brilliant idea. It's a TikTok trend, is it? Well, I followed this man on TikTok and he started doing it and he was like, don't ever do frozen mango in a Savvy Bee because I downed three bottles of it. Can I just say, that is an excellent idea Tastes good, it's fresh, it's fruity It just gives that tiny little sweet kick Tastes good We can drink this all throughout this episode That was my Try Something Fun time That is nice Imo, this is triumph This is amazing, I love this feature Can anyone write in if they've got any other Try Something Fun And also, I do want to say It's not always going to be food and drink based But that is quite easy to try Because we did get a couple of people going please stop eating on the pod.
12:28Oh, come on, guys. My ears can't handle it.
12:30Anna Williamson:Oh, come on, guys. But you know what? Miss phobia, whatever. It's fun for us. So there you go. Try something fun. That Savvy Bee with the mango is delightful. Delightful. Right, I'm going to keep on my shades and keep drinking this. Oh, I can taste the mango now. Yeah, I can taste the mango. It's lovely. It's really nice. Really fun. Thank you, Ims. Love that. Right, we've got a message from Jamie. He says, Hi, Luanamo. Man fan here since 2022. First time writing in, and I wanted your opinion on something. You can take the sunnies off if you want. I think I might take mine off because they're quite dirty.
13:02First time writing in, and I want your opinion on something. I'm lucky enough to work from home, which means I get to drop my four-year-old girl off to school every day and get to go to all the school sharing assemblies. What a good dad. The other week I was talking to a school mum in the morning, and I can't remember how, but I mentioned that I had a bath with my daughter the night before. I received a very concerned look from the school mum like I was doing something wrong. I mentioned it to my wife and she said to ignore it but it's made me question if I'm doing something wrong. I can't help but think that if I was a woman would the mum think it's still inappropriate.
13:38My daughter's only four and loves to play in water and always asks me to come in the bath with her. We have a little stick on basketball hoop in the bath and she loves when we play what she calls a throwing game and honestly I love that time with her as well. It seems like only yesterday she was born so I want to enjoy all the fun moments with her while she is still young before she grows up and gets too cool to hang out with us. Yes, my daughter notices that in the bath I've got a willy and she has a moo-moo as we call it. We've talked about never touching other people's bits and boundaries and honest, it's the same as if she sees me or her mum naked around the house.
14:16I just don't see a problem. I wanted to ask your opinions as you both have husbands that are wonderful male role models in your children's lives and can give a great female perspective on this. Thanks for all the laughs and give me a wonderful insight into women and helping me better understand my wife, Jamie. Jamie, you sound like an absolute green bloody flag of a husband and a father in a world where we are begging for good male role models. and dads to be in these children's lives that they've created with so many I mean absolutely you get in the bath with your little girl and you do your throwing game and ignore the concerned looks some people I think we have to accept are more conservative than others for instance in my household Andrew doesn't like the kids to see him naked he's very conservative it's just the way he's been brought up I think
15:10Anna Williamson:and there's nothing wrong with that but because he makes a big deal out of it the kids are always trying to see him naked. Desperately trying to see his willy. But that's what they do. They're desperate to see the willy. If he just, you know, I walk around stark bullet naked, they do not bat an eyelid. And if he was the same, they wouldn't bat an eyelid. Because he makes it a thing, it becomes a thing to them. I think that you are creating a really healthy body image for your child walking around like that. I think you're a great dad. Normalising a guy. My husband, yep, showers and baths with my children.
15:43Anna Williamson:my children are nine and six my daughter is six and a half um we are half birthday half birthday oh it's even better now the wine yeah it's nice um absolutely do you know what my dad said this a few years ago because actually my dad um actually asked if it was okay um my kids when they were babies you know used to stay over my dad used to say that i'm gonna bath the kids is that all right and i was like yeah of course and he went isn't it awful he said there's some people in this world that would think that i was being a pervert or something and i said i used to bath all three of you because i used to be in the bath with my dad probably up to seven or eight doing my little um shaving foam on my face you do you babes it's very natural and normal and as lu said every family has different boundaries around what they feel comfortable but you're doing a great job you crack on because my husband still baths and has baths with my kids i'm cracking on with this wine it's quite delicious misheard lyrics from anonymous so queenie i'm gonna be ratted on this this is actually really nice i've nearly drunk all night those um sausage and mash crisps that'd be lovely to go with this.
16:42Hey ladies, misheard lyric for you. Cher's Believe song, Do You Believe in Life After Love, the bit after that where it says, I can feel something inside me say. Yeah, that's right. I've literally just learned that that's the lyrics. I have been saying for years, something I can feel something inside for sale is what I've been saying for my whole existence but that's not the first it's not the last that I've got wrong but yeah I hope you enjoy that love the pod and all that jazz I can feel something inside for sale I really don't think it's strong enough Do you believe in... Well, I've only just learned that it's life after love.
17:42What did you think it was? Do you believe in love after love? Love after love. So there you go. We've both been singing it wrong. Queenie, thank you. Love it. Next up, message from... I've finished my why.
17:53Anna Williamson:You have sculled that like a total lush. Honestly, old Lushy Lou over there. Message from Areola. I'm having a... Hi, ladies. Love the part. I'm having a top up. And all that jazz. Oh, delicious, that's good. I was listening to today's episode, you are reluctant onto your mouse duties. I was listening to today's episode about the woman charging her husband for sex. Oh, Inns, have you done it yet? I've not. I keep forgetting to bring it up. I keep forgetting, and do you know what? Jo, do you know what we need to do? Jo! Let's remind each other. Do you know what we need to do? Jo's pissed. I know, basically, it takes half a glass of wine.
18:30Yeah, she's pissed. What we need to do is put on our voice recordings. And you know that winding apart? Can we actually remember to do this? Can we remember?
18:37Anna Williamson:Can someone remind us in the chat? I'll be with Andrew on Saturday. I've not seen him for a week. And so I'll be back with him. So we've not really seen each other for a week. So then I'll be like, oh, babe, I've been thinking. But it was good when you said, do something starting off. Can you just pop and get me a little cuppa? Give it a lick of the tip. Yeah. And then be like, yeah, that's what we need to do. You're moving into the house this weekend. Yeah, so we're going to do like. opportunity to be a bit of christen in time. Get your mum to have the kids so you can unpack and then put your voice memos on.
19:10I want to do this. And wind Al up and you just don't have kids or anything. You just need to do this with Nay. I was just saying. Get the voice notes on. And then we need to voice note and then we can play it on the pod.
19:20Anna Williamson:This is the new feature that's going to give. Undercover, spouse. Wind ups. Wind ups. Love this. Love this. Or do you know what? If you're listening to this, it's unlikely. Don't tell our husbands either. So A, don't tell our husbands, but B, we're not going to remember to do this to our husbands. So if you're listening to this and you want to do this to your other half and we can listen to your other half's reactions, please do. Set your voice memos up, record your other half, and then send it in to us 075-215-65650. All of it was wrong. 64640. But basically, do it. wind your partner up and tell them that you're now going to start charging them.
20:02Yeah. Wind them up and then and see the reaction and then get their permission. Imagine if someone is like oh yeah can I stick it up your bum for a tenner? I'd say it's quite cheap. Oh it's too cheap for anal. No I'm not I'm not selling myself out on that one. How much would you want from Alex to put it in your bum? Up the Bourneville Boulevard. Up the old up the old up the old the thing is you've got piles
20:26Anna Williamson:Demica up there. Well no they're actually okay at the moment. Oh, okay. They would probably come back again after that. Do you say? No, I had an anal fissure, Lou. An anal fissure. Maybe probably £100. £100? Okay. What, do you think that's expensive? No. Not for my bum hole, MO. Like, it's practically What would you charge? It's virginal down there. What would you charge for anal? Pound. She does it anyway. She'd have a bag of those crisps. No, do lesbians do anal?
Read the full transcript
20:57Anna Williamson:You've got me just waiting for the answer. Yeah. Really? Yeah. I always thought with anal, it was more pleasure. Well, to be fair. Can I say, this is a new thing. We need to drink wine more on the podcast. It's all coming out. I just love it. We'll talk about Imo's sex life. I just know Imo. She's thinking, Auntie Rachel's listening to this. So Imo tries to answer as best she can without throwing herself under a bus. No, but listen. If you are listening, please. we want you to proposition your husbands with charging them for sex or wives or still husbands if you same sex whatever just your other half okay whatever you are if you're shagging a toaster obviously they're not going to talk back to you they might but or your blow up doll oh we need to stop drinking wine yeah just let us know and then send it in get their permission so that we can play it back otherwise even if you don't have their permission but you tell us you have their permission that's okay but we just need from you that you have their permission because then it's on you excellent anyway let's get back to this story I was listening to today's episode about the woman charging her husband for sex and it got me thinking about what happens in my house my husband knows my love language is gifts so whenever we've had an argument or the kids have driven me up the wall he'll casually ask would you like me to buy you anything yes I do safe to say I'm not usually one to turn that offer down he's a smart bastard let me tell you love languages work.
22:24Anna Williamson:Something similar happened a few weeks ago. We'd had sex which was a bit uncomfortable and the next day I came down with thrush. We all know that itchy hot burny feeling. At the time I was on antibiotics for laryngitis and I'm also diabetic. You've got a lot of issues. Thrush, laryngitis, diabetes. A lot going on. So when I saw the GP they explained that those were the likely causes. My husband however was convinced that he'd somehow caused it and felt absolutely terrible and he kept asking, you sure there isn't anything I could buy you? A pair of trainers, denim jacket and a skirt later I was feeling much better about the whole situation please keep me anonymous give me a fabulous porn star name what name do we oh areola there she's got a new pair of trainers a jacket lovely I'm really into this whole charging the husbands for sex I'm going to be honest I think it might turn me on a bit as well yeah like a bit dominating maybe this could be the spice we need subby domi to spice up our sex I was listening back to it the other day when we were talking about it, and I was like, yeah, there's a little something about that that's quite appealing, isn't it?
23:28Anna Williamson:I've nearly finished this glass of wine as well. No, you've got to stop drinking. You're going to be smashed. But it's role play. That's, I think, what we're finding. It's that little bit of sexy role play. Everyone's a winner. Everyone's a winner, baby. Okay, I've got a challenge for us three. Oh, God. Right, so it's summer holidays now. So from now till the beginning of September, who can make the most money out of the three of us from our other hearts. Well, I'm in Sicily, right? So I'm thinking... Does it count for presents as well? Your husband has more to give, though. That's unfair. Okay, it's unfair.
24:05Okay, I get that.
24:06Anna Williamson:Well, I'd say that. We don't have to go around monetary. I think it's more... What are we going on? Well... Amount of times of gifts. Maybe amount of times of some sort of... Okay, I might get a Fendi handbag. Obviously, that's expensive. because I have got Fendi and Saint-Tropez on my hit list, 100%. Let me tell you now, I don't think there's a Fendi anywhere near Sicily. No, there is actually. There is, yeah. What about Palermo? There's one in Tamina, I think. Tamina, oh is it? I mean, we're going rostick for this week. But anyway, basically though, instead of like monetary value, what about the amount of time?
24:40The amount of effort. So it's like even if you get like a fruit pastel, that is still a gift. So the currency is the amount of times.
24:48Anna Williamson:That's the currency. like this. And do you know what girls? So if I like give a blowjob and get a pair of sunglasses that's one. And if I give a blotzer and I get like I don't know him getting my tea in the morning or taking the kids out for an hour to give me peace and quiet that's a currency. Is it? Or are we thinking of we actually want a physical gift? No but I think it's when you give the currency so for me it will be more that. It'll be more the currency. It's like if I give you this if you can then go and take the kids to Splash Park for an hour so I can lie on my arse bartering. So it's a barter.
25:16Anna Williamson:It's getting something in return for. So we need to have a little tally. And we will reveal the winner at Troxie. Now that's in October. Yeah, but that's like an end of a... I think it's an end of summer. When is end of summer? No, September. When the kids go back to school, that's when the summer's ended. When's that? Like the beginning of September. Okay. Fine. We're back to get... When we come in to do our end of August. Yeah, because we're like... We've got an end of August situation. Yeah, we have. We've got an end of August. Now, I'm going to be honest, girls. I feel like I'm going to put myself in a good position.
25:51Anna Williamson:We have a filming day in. Yeah, because I'm in Sicily. Alex gets proper like... Horny in the sun. Yeah, like silly and like... Horny in the sun. And he's in his motherland again. And so he just turns into an even nicer human being. So I'm hopeful that this is going to work in my favour. I'm hopeful. The whole Dom sub thing might kick in a bit. I don't often get gifts for like... Well, I've never tried it. I mean I do get gifts but we need to try this for me my currency is take my children our children and do something or pop down and get me a little canoley should we have a target like we need like you know like she walks Norman for instance and then he takes the kids and then Andrew takes the kids goes off down to the cafe and brings you back a night and then like Norman can be your child and then we obviously have our children and then should we do like a present one like we've got to aim to get five gifts Maybe we just like note them down what we're doing in return.
26:47I think let's note them down. Okay. And then we can kind of judge.
26:50Anna Williamson:Let's note them down and then we can figure out. Can I just say, this has turned into an eight hour long episode because we've got pissed on wine. I'm pissed now. Hope you're enjoying this, guys. That is so good. The mango and the savvy bee. Right, time for some petal. And also, guys, you can join in. Join in our tally list. I'm pissed. Yeah, she is pissed. Join in our tally list because... I'm only had two glasses of wine. I am just going to put a caveat in here. and there is every chance that we will all forget to do this. So, Lufanians, if you could all please, because you're all going to be on your summer holidays.
27:18Anna Williamson:Everyone's on summer holiday at some point doing something. Do your own tallies. Do your own tallies. Share them with us and you can join in the big reveal in August.
27:28Right, time for some confessions. I've never told anyone this, but hi, gorgeous Luanamo gang. I'm a huge fan and currently working my way through the back catalogue for my days before I had discovered the joys of the pod. I listen every day on my headphones while working. Eat that mango. And let's have a go. Fucking good. I feel like the mango sucks up the alcohol. It doesn't taste alcoholic. I feel like we should drink more on this pod.
27:56Anna Williamson:I think this is the whole new era we're getting into, guys. New animo. The pissed era. Do you know what we should do? is like one episode a month we should do like a pissed one. Or if you all hate this, let us know. We did that before, do you remember? On Loose Lips, the pod that shall not be named. We used to do like pissed ones for Christmas specials and we made like snowballs and stuff like that. Let's do that. Guys, let us know if you want us to do that. And then I feel like Anna made it boring. She's like, I'm driving. I'm not drinking, I'm driving. Yeah, I'm blind. I'm going to eat the mango.
28:32Anna Williamson:We cannot get through any of these messages. Let's get through these messages because I'm fucking starving. Let's go. I've got no food in my house. That's fine. We'll find something. It's all right, Imo's. Bex has got a naan bread and a baguette. The mango tastes like fish. No, it doesn't. That tastes like a fish. Can we get on with these messages? I hope you're enjoying this, Lufanians. We blame Imogen for this. This is her trying to be a producer. Oh, that is rank. I do not like the mango. Okay, well you drink the wine, I'll drink the mango. Eat the mango. Okay, right. Start again. Hi, gorgeous.
29:13Blue anime gang. Please drink responsibly. I'm a huge fan. I'm currently working my way through the back catalogue from the days before I had discovered the joys of the pod. I listen every day on my headphones whilst working unless there are customers, of course. Please call me MaxiPad for the purposes of this confession, which I'm submitting to that I've never told anyone but. Go on. I was listening to Anna's confession from 2020 about weeing in her child's nappy in the car. Oh, yeah, you have gone, but I did wee. I can't remember that. In Elle's nappy. Well, I was at a big music festival recently and all settled in to a cracking spot with a great view of the stage for one of my favourite DJ's 90s dance anthem set.
30:04A few tracks in, I realised I'm desperate for a wee. There was no way I was leaving my spot for fear of not being able to get back into the tent. And the dreaded festival port-a-dos certainly weren't appealing. Can I just say, when I went to Latitude, the toilets were really good. There you go. I'm like, just to let everybody know. Thank you. It was hot. You know Lou's piss because she's talking really slowly and really enunciating her words. So I managed to remove my top. So I was just in my bra without anyone near me noticing. I think I stuffed it down my pants and let out the biggest wee of my life.
30:43She took her top off, shoved it down and pissed. Yeah, and weed on it. Feeling much better, I removed the fully sodden shirt and chucked it on the floor where it was promptly stamped into the mud by thousands of happy ravers. Nice. Spent the rest of the night in my bra dancing my heart out having a great time. When we came out, I told my mates I'd lost the top somehow. Unfortunately, this plan wasn't foolproof and my shorts and socks were a bit wet but nothing a quick strip wash that the tent later couldn't fix. Thanks, girls. Love you all. Maxi Pat. I think it's a brilliant idea. You just need a sheewee though.
31:16Anna Williamson:Yeah, but if you're caught in that moment, you need anything to soak up that wax. Do you know what I've done before? I was in Brighton once. Oh, I remember this. In a fountain. No, I just sat in a plant pot. Oh, in a plant pot, yeah. Pulled my little nickies to the side, sat on that plant pot like I was chilling, just let it all come out. And if I was at a festival, I'd just sit on the floor, pull my nickies to the side. Your nicky-nackies. My little nickies. Get that little porn badge out. And I'd just pee-pee there. I pee-pee everywhere, actually. You do, actually. I love pee-peeing in the wild.
31:50I think it's a fetish. It is a fetish. It's a fetish. It's a fetish. It's a fetish. I just want to let you know it's a fetish. It's a fetish.
31:56Anna Williamson:This is actually my beach hack. I sit on the beach. Yeah, I'm pissed. And then you just put it to one side and just wee into the sand. Yeah. You don't need all this faffing about finding a dirty toilet. You just sit in the sand, on the sand, off your towel, obviously. Yeah. Put it to one side, wee. Sand in your badge. I'll take it. Oh, I'm not sure. Get sand in the badge anyway. Just go in the sea and wee in the sea. That's what I would do. Yeah, but sometimes it's too cold. The world's toilet. It is the world's choice. Oh, that's so sad. Right, let's get on this next one. Think of all the fish.
32:26No, I don't care about the fish. No, all the... You do care about the fish. Come on. I've got to protect our planet because even though global warming...
32:35Anna Williamson:You said last week you didn't believe in green energy and that global warming is bullshit. I did. Global warming is bullshit. Greta Thunberg needs to go in the bin. That's my fucking I said what I said. I hate Greta Thunberg. I hate her. Fucking annoying. It's two o 'clock. I'm just saying I don't like her. She adds nothing. Nothing. What does she add to society? She's got an annoying fringe as well. She looks awful. She needs to change her face. Lovely. Right. Hi, Luanna Mobex. Long time listener, first time emailer. Please call my pseudonym of Tanya Bits. What smells like? Tanya Bits. Very few people in my life.
33:13Anna Williamson:Oh, she's even lost control of the mouse now. Very few people in my life know of this story. And I think your pod squad like it. Oh, pod squad. and hope it gives you a genuinely good chuckle as well as getting some nods of approval for my fast thinking and improvisation. This incident occurred in the summer of 1999 when I was preparing to get married to the man of my dreams. Nobody warned me the dream was actually a nightmare and I'm now happily divorced and I'm living my best life. Good for you. Good for you. In preparation for my nuptials, I was doing all the things us girlies do, dieting, gym going, and as it was of a time we didn't know any better, I was having regular sunbed sessions, so I would look glowing on the wedding photos.
33:50Can I just say, I still have sunbeds, even though I know it's bad for me. Okay, it's really all coming out now.
33:56Anna Williamson:On my way to work this particular day, I stopped off in the market to stock up on fresh fruit and vegetables. How much money is in your bank account, Luke? What's your pin number, Luke? On my way to work this particular day, I stopped off at the market to stock up on fresh fruit and vegetables, and on my way home, I stopped off at the tanning salon for a session in one of the new snazzy stand-up tanning cubicles. I entered the booth, popped my shopping bags on the chair, stripped off, goggles on and into the cubicle I went for five minutes of indoor sunshine. About halfway through my time, as the warmth bathed my belly and back, I felt a gurgle in my gut and snuck out a cheeky fart.
34:28Anna Williamson:This was not just a fart, it was the warning siren for imminent evacuation. And when I say imminent, I mean now. Panic set in. I was stark bollock naked and I was miles away from the nearest toilet as the salon did not have facilities. I knew I had to go now and I knew I had to think quickly. I stepped out of the cubicle, UV light still glowing, grabbed one of the shopping bags and spilled the contents over the floor of the booth. I then squatted over the bag and emptied myself into it. And as the salon operated a wipe down before you leave policy, there was some blue roll handy for wiping. The booth absolutely stunk.
35:02Anna Williamson:I was gagging and I couldn't get my clothes on fast enough. I left the salon holding a bag of veg in one hand and a bag of shit in the other. And I made my way to the nearest bin to dispose of the offending bag. I never went back to the salon despite having paid for a block of minutes and I'm still in credit. I do often wonder if the staff or the next customer ever wondered why potatoes were left all over the floor of the tanning booth. Why didn't she put the potatoes in another bag? I am grateful for the lack of health and safety in the late 90s because carrier bags back then did not have holes in the bottom.
35:32Anna Williamson:So if this had happened in more recent times, the story would have had a far more sinister ending. Well, he wouldn't have even had a bag, darling. He would have popped it in your handbag. Love you guys and the pod and all that jizz. You are my go-to listener whenever I feel a tad lonely. need some company after listening. Bless you, babe. And I feel like I've had a group of mates around for a catch up and a giggle and a moan. I absolutely love the honest, no bullshit, but so would love advice that you give to people who write in needing support. And I'm sure that you have empowered many women to get the hell out of nasty situations.
35:58Anna Williamson:Oh, thank you. Love Tanya Bits. Well, we hope you've enjoyed this slightly pissed podcast towards the end. We blame Imogen. Sorry about that. Fully. I pause. Guys, we love you. You are amazing. Thank you for listening to Luanne and the podcast. We're going to leave you a lot of love today and say we're back, of course, with your usual dose of Luanna on Monday. Well, I say hopefully less pissed. You never say never. I think you could. Well, I'm on holiday when we do the next record, so I can't promise. We can't promise anything. Remember, get your tally. It's wine. I can't drink wine. She can't drink wine, Imo.
36:29Anna Williamson:It's terrible. I'm getting itchy. When she drinks wine, she's absolutely trollied. I've got to go and ride a horse after this podcast. If I fall off and die, it's all your fault. It's not my fault. It is. Are you even allowed to supply us with alcohol? Yeah. We're consensual adults. Make sure you're consensual adults with your, whatever you want to do with your spouse in rewarding for sex. Yes. Then we will look forward to channelling it up. Shag a lot. Have a good summer. Look, we will be here every week. Don't worry. Still. Luana at everythingluana.com. Oh, your bum. 075-215-69-64-88. Please run for your life.
37:07Should we play bingo next time on the phone? Pray for us all. She's pissed. I love bingo. She's out of control. Remember when we went to Bongo's bingo, though? Do you remember? We do remember. I enjoyed that. Yeah, she's thoroughly.
37:17Anna Williamson:Thoroughly enjoyed. Let's just go. Switch off now. Bye. I'm hungry. Can you make me some pasta? Yeah, I'll make you some pasta. Bye. This has been a Global Production.
From the publisher
On this week's Totally Extra: Happy birthday Anna! Tesco Susan's been there since '87, Lu's not Greta Thunberg's biggest fan, Imo sets a fart challenge, and we're introduced to Gary the brown dog.
Plus, the brand new-ish try something fun time takes the pod a bit sideways, misheard Cher lyrics, we find out if lesbians do anal, Jamie gets lovely dad reassurance about bathing with his daughter, and we've got weeing in public hacks.
It’s time to get TOTALLY EXTRA. Extra chat, extra rants, extra bants, extra stories, nonsense and more.
LuAnna: The Podcast is a Global production, available every Monday and Thursday on Global Player, YouTube or wherever you get your shows. Make sure you subscribe so you never miss an episode.
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