TOTALLY EXTRA: Gross Pillow Pranks, Naked Campaigns & Vinted Payback

0:01Anna Williamson:Evening. Buyer's remorse. Buy a new car? I'll be moving in. Let's get started. Uh, sorry, I think there's been a mistake. I bought it from Carvana. You what? Yeah, great price. I even have seven days to love it or return it. So there's no... No, no buyer's remorse. More like buyer's rejoice? I guess I'll let myself out. Congratulations. I mean it. Buyer's rejoice. Buy your car today on Carvana. Limitations and exclusions may apply. See our seven-day return policy at Carvana.com. This is a Global Player original podcast. Be warned, it's Luana, and this podcast contains honest, upfront opinions, rants, bants and general explicit content, but you know you love it.

0:44Anna Williamson:I can fully relate to wiping your genitalia over someone's pillow. Why is it funny? Can I just say that is an absolute genius. I'd quite like to do a naked campaign before I get old and wrinkly. I definitely didn't have Fanny or Nappy Rash. Oh.

1:07Anna Williamson:Hey, guys. How you doing? It's good to see you. It's Thursday and it's Luanna. Totally extra. Indeed it is. I'm the Lu Meister. I'm Adubs. And we are Luanna. And every Thursday, we're bringing you extra, extra rants, chats, confessions, stories, extra you, all of the guffridge. Guffridge. But before that, Lu, what do they need to do? The guccheridge. The guccheridge. Please do, before we dive into this episode, go to the top right of your screen, wherever you're listening, and press follow. Right now, it really does make a difference to us, actually, guys. So please do it. We'd really appreciate it.

1:39And if you're watching on YouTube, hello. We are available to watch on YouTube, if you didn't know that.

1:43Anna Williamson:Hello, YouTubers. At Everything Noanna. And subscribe now. There we go. Right, this is your episode. So we will be your vessels. Vessel. Imogen Rose Hart. We're like the surrogate team. We are. We are. Imo is the don here we go she's set it all up for us message from Verity first time writer and long time listener I'm listening to the ep where you you and you have mentioned oh you mentioned the Foundling podcast I've started listening to this list but can I just say I do apologise because I listened to the Foundling for free and apparently since I recommended it it's now gone behind a paywall which is poo which is really annoying but it is good so I won't pay for it it was very it's just like paying for an audible book really the audible subscription that still got and don't use um but anyway the founding podcast jess who is who is the foundling is one of my oldest school friends and i am god mother to her children even though i know everything that has happened it is still a gripping yeah it's excellent you need to pay for it i mess because there's so many twists and turns it's wild i'm looking forward to it um i'm on episode two um i messaged jess as soon as i heard You see these Nathanians you get everywhere Jess knows, hi Jess Hi Jess, well love listening to you every week You make my week from Verity Well thank you for that Jess the OG foundling Now knows that we Talk about her How cool is that Right we've got a joke now from Sab Hello girlies Love the pod I have a joke for you What's Forrest Gump's favourite pasta?

3:23Go on Penny

3:28Anna Williamson:Have a good day, love you, bye I don't get hurt His girlfriend's Penny I thought she's Jenny Oh it's Jenny His girlfriend's called Jenny Oh it is Jenny Jenny Oh yeah, where's Penny come from? Where's Penny? Because that's what I did think that Penny and then I was like, well no, the girlfriend's Jenny So why is it funny? Imo, do you know why it's funny? I just think it's funny.

3:59Anna Williamson:No, I don't understand the joke. Sam, we're laughing because we don't understand it. I just think, are you? I don't know. Or maybe it's because it rhymes with Jenny, but now we're deconstructing a joke. We've ruined the joke. But listen, I like these jokes. Send in some more jokes. Send in your jokes. We've got a petty polynex from a non, so we've called you Melodrama. Like it. Hi, Luanna and Imo. I've named Bex background Bex Bex isn't here today as sometimes you can only hear her quietly when she's talking I know it drives him I'm mad there's no microphone please keep me in on and give me a porn star name I absolutely love the pod I've only been listening since Jan but I've been recommending you to my girlfriends good thank you and they've started listening my petty poly is when you're at the shelf checkout in a supermarket your stupid light is flashing on your two or something has gone wrong and all the staff just stand there chatting and ignore you.

4:54I've now started just throwing a few extras without scanning them in my bag. I don't blame you. Whilst they're talking amongst themselves. Last week I got mascara and sun cream and this week I've had a book and some more sun cream.

5:07Anna Williamson:We've had our little heat wave that's why. I'm starting to get a thrill out of this. Thanks for reading. Keep the laughs coming. Lots of love. I fucking hate those self-tracals. Do you know what I do? Of course I do. I make take someone stand next to me. I'm going, this is going to keep going, so you may as well just stand here with me. You know that when you want your neurofen, your booze? It's just easier. You're over 18. It's just easier to go to a human. The worst one is herbs because they weigh like nothing. Yes. And they never go through. Oh, yeah. And greetings cards as well if there's no like.

5:38I say if there's no weight to it, it's free.

5:41Anna Williamson:Brilliant. You can rob the shit out of that. Some casual shoplifting there from Lou. We don't recommend it, but there we go. Next up, Anonymous. So, B-trail. Hi, girls. I have a petit potty for you. Please keep me in on as I feel awful about this. Go on. On my ski season a few years ago, I was sharing a room with another girl who was quite unlikable. She'd asked me to get off my bed to fetch her water bottle when she watched TV, shouted at me and others when she got drunk, and she once even got a black eye from getting in a scrap on a night out. Sounds like a lovely person. That sort of girl. Well, when she was out, I had a guy around.

6:19Anna Williamson:We were just chatting and bitching about how annoying she was. We all knew each other and lived together. Anyway, I said that when I didn't like someone when I was younger, I used to fart on their pillow. I used to do this to my brothers and they did it too. We had a whole childhood of pink eye in my house. I saw a spark in his eye and a light bulb appeared above his head. He walks over to her bed, straddles her pillow and wipes his post-sex cummy willy all over her pillow. I can still to this day see the image of him butt naked on her bed, wiping this pillow on his cock and it never fails to crack me up.

7:00Anna Williamson:I feel absolutely awful thinking about it. I think she was just a bit spoiled and has probably matured now, but I hope it made you laugh. P.S. I've been meaning to text in for a while but kept forgetting. I was looking at Instagram and saw images look alike from Scratch with Bob, which reminded me. Lol, love you all. What is Scratch with Bob? Yeah, it's that person. We've seen it before. He's that fella who does all the cooking who apparently looks like him. Go on, get it up. Oh, I remember him. It's the hair, isn't it? It's the hair, it's the hair. It's the hair. There he is. Let's have a look.

7:32Anna Williamson:Let's have a look. Yeah. I mean, you are from Scratch with Bob. You are Scratch with Bob. Well, thank you for messaging in. It looks like it was so bad. Also, I can fully relate to wiping your genitalia over someone's pillow. I haven't done that. I have, a lot. I spent a whole childhood doing that. Quite satisfying. I might start doing it. Wiping a skiddy up. And I always knew when I'd get into bed and I'd smell the smell of gooch. Oh, no, don't. And I was like, one of my bastard brothers has wiped their gooch on my pillow. Oh, so gross. Right, we've got a voice note rant next from a non. so we've called you Mike Rokok.

8:11Anna Williamson:Nothing wrong with the Mike Rokok. Hi, Luanamo Bex. Quick message from one of your favourite man fans here and a little rant for you. I am so fucking sick to the back teeth of the M42 around Birmingham. I have spent all week driving up this fucking road with eejits who don't know how to drive and causing traffic for no fucking reason. Stay in your lane. There's no need to keep changing. You are making the problem worse. And can we just fucking address the stupid, stupid railway that they're building due to complete spring 2028? I know. If you actually put them to work, then maybe it would get done a bit quicker.

8:59Please keep me anonymous. Lots of people from work listen to this.

9:03Anna Williamson:Love you guys. It sounds suspiciously like our analytical L. It doesn't bit. Just saying. Just saying.

9:12We've got a message from Niamh next. Niamh just has put, hi, Imo. Imo's like, yeah, bitches. Big fan of the pod and Vogue and Amber, formerly Vogue Spencer, day one listener. That's why she's saying hi to you, Ims. That is Imo's other pod. I'm pretty sure I got into Vogue and Joanne from that one and then into Luanna. Oh, thank you. Anyway, just read the Free Birthers. I listened to your rec and I loved it. She's put a question mark because it's really good but weird. But bad. Turn of phrase. Addictive listening in the worst way. I had to write in, as I just wanted to point out, another element.

9:48Giving birth, yeah, this is true. In the USA, it's crazy expensive. And healthcare in general is, as a lot of people would know, but just fees for antenatal care in the States is absolutely outrageous. So if you don't have insurance and need a section, which is obviously quite common, breach, baby, etc. It can cost up to$50 ,000. And I think the two women leading the Free Birth Society business did take full advantage of this. In one way, I kind of admire their entrepreneurial tenacity. They're smart. Their customer slash victims, though, were obviously vulnerable. To accept Facebook advice from strangers while you were giving birth is absolutely abnormal.

10:26And unfortunately, they are responsible for the death of their own children. Bizarre that this doesn't appear to be illegal. Smart business people plus healthcare in a very expensive space plus vulnerable women equals an absolute disaster. That's just my tuppence worth if this is being discussed again. Love and Eve in Dublin. Yeah, you're absolutely right. Great perspective.

10:48Anna Williamson:It's just tragic. Yeah, great perspective though. Thank you for that. Voice note from Charlotte. Hi, Pard. Everybody and all that. jazz i feel like we've all got to say that because we've got to say it i haven't listened for a while to be honest i've been a bit rubbish i had a baby i did all that stuff and then just life's become anyway i'm back on i'm way behind but i want to send a message in is i'm sat at home watching um anna on celebs go dating and i just want to make calls for her for the episode series 15 that we're on now episode five when they're doing a little bit of a debrief after the first night when the guys go to tenerife can anyone just make any reference to the fact that anna has the most glorifying sunshine shiting into her eyes this woman is trying her best she's like pulls through a gray pair and she didn't even bloody realize yes because she she can't see she's blinded she throws one back obviously gets it down the gullet because number one she's got a great shot and number two she can actually fucking see she's trying to have this bloody chat with them they're both absolutely loving life because they're not going to shat in the knee of an idol of the sun doesn't even make any sense but anyway she's there just getting absolutely blinded oh my god it's just frustrating to watch and I just feel like she's too polite to say anything and too nice to wear sunnies.

12:24Anna Williamson:But, Anna, I could tell that that sun is blazing and burning your eyeballs and you couldn't see shit all. Just love. I will catch up, but I'm well behind. Sorry, girls. Do you know what? So eagle-eyed. And you're right. And you know what? Sometimes you've just got to suck it up, buttercup. Just ultimate professional. Well, bless you, Lou. But, you know, in telly, and you'll know this, Lou, as well, but it looks terrible to wear sunglasses on TV because the eyes are the window to the soul so you can't wear sunglasses. It ruins the shot. And you know what? I do have light sensitive eyes. And yeah, it was a burning retina day.

13:03Anna Williamson:I do remember that actually. But you know what? I suffer from my art. Pleased that you are enjoying Sluts Go Dating. Yeah, thanks babes. Right, we've got Little Pleasure. Oh yes, from Kerry. From Kerry. I don't know who's going to read it. Hi, all the girls. Talking about pleasures on Thursday's episode, me and my 18-year-old daughter share one and wondered if we're weird. We both get a weird satisfaction from using up a whole body product, a whole beauty product, like a bottle of body moisturiser or a whole lipstick. Chucking the empty container in the bin is like we've won. Can't relate to this.

13:37What?

13:38Anna Williamson:What's that one? I actually can a bit. Won what? We don't know, but both of us get a kick out of it as we both hate waste and just enjoy seeing empty toiletries in the bin. I actually, when Alex leaves all of his empty toiletries in the shower and I do get a pleasure of like getting him in the bin, I can sort of relate a little bit. I like, I don't like wastage. I'll always eek it out. I get a real satisfaction when I get to the end of my soap bar. Fucking that soap bar. I mean, that soap bar lasts about five years though. It's like I hit every five years. When I was at the Chelsea Flower Show the other week, right, I went into the Highgrove shop.

14:16Anna Williamson:there's like a high growth shop with the King's Foundation gone. And I did see some really ponzi soap. You should have got it. Did you buy it for it? No, I didn't. Well, then I realised, but did you just like a particular Dove one because of moisturiser? Or leather balsam or whatever. And I'm not going to lie. Imperial leather. I'm not going to spend£14.99 on a ponzi soap you're not going to use. No, and also you shouldn't use the ponzi fragrance ones on your bits. What do you use then, just Dove? Yeah. Dove, can we please have a spot on me? Imperial leather. I wouldn't say no. Oh, Tom gets some.

14:47Anna Williamson:Tom does a brand deal with Imperial Leather. I'll get some off Tom. If any soap people are out there, hit me up. We'll take some duff. In fact, we'd like a duff campaign. That'd be nice. Real bodies. We could do it naked. My Paul did the duff campaign. I'd quite like to do a naked campaign before I get old and wrinkly. I would do a naked campaign. I'm very body pos, as you know. Like, I'm just this old carcass. It'll be in the ground one day. Can't we do a Luana naked Christmas calendar? Yeah. You're so sure. actually, the whole team, do you think that Bex and Al will get their kit off and Agent Sam, Nat Bond, she looks great.

15:20She lost so much weight for her wedding. She's like looking amazing. I don't think the people want to see that. They want to see you two. Oh, so just spring poses, like when it's Valentine's Day. Calendar Girls style. When it's Valentine's, we have like red hearts on our nipples and then when it's Easter, like little bunnies covering our bushes. Yeah, like in Calendar Girls and you put you in like different things and hiding things suggestively. Can I just say,

15:43Anna Williamson:I want us to, I know we always come up with ideas and we never do them. This would be a great gift. Well, I think it'd be a good gift, but also I think it'd be really good for us. We should do this in time for the Troxy, which is the 3rd of October, so we can sell our calendar. We should do, because I think it's really good body positivity, very pro-naked nude. I'm messaging Agent Sam. We'd like to do a naked calendar, please. Calendar style, calendar girls style. This is a great idea, Ems. I think it'd be fabulous. At March we can have like daffodils over our nips. Yeah. I love this. Have you in the kitchen with like...

16:19Saucepan lids. Pops and pans and... Yeah. Yeah. This is so good. At Sam... Get Makeup Jo to do me face. We want to do... Get a Christmas one with like baubles and tinsel. Halloween. October.

16:32Anna Williamson:Could do like witch's tits. Please. Should we get James Rudland to shoot her? James Rudland. Makeup Jo. Don't even need a stylist because we'll be naked. oh my god winning we're saving money well imo can be this prop stylist i'll do props um i'll start brainstorming now i put we are keen this is a good idea very keen this is a really good idea guys i love september could be back to school yes like vibes yeah i think this is great i am all about being positive about nudity my house is a very nude house because it's just a body guys untouched picture yeah yeah oh well i don't know about that stick a paris filter on i need more than a paris let's come off oh no that's because i bought anna a fake Cartier.

17:30Right, this is good. Right, some confessions. I've never told anyone this, but... Oh, it's a voice note one. Here we go. Love this. Hello, me little lovers. I've not prepared anything because I just saw Anna's post asking for a confession. I thought I might tell you about my fortieth birthday present to myself. Oh. So, I go to the toilet. I don't know whether it's you as well, but I go to the toilet about five billion times a night. I'm talking, okay, not five billion, like every two hours at least. There's never a full night's sleep. Oh, that's very fascinating. It pisses me off. Any kind of wrong movement or light or anything that wakes me up, that's it.

18:15Toilet, boom, done. Anyway, so I'm blabbering, sorry. On my 40th birthday, I bought myself some adult nappies, got myself loads of snacks, put one on, laid in bed and had the best night's sleep I have ever had in my entire life. And you know what was amazing about it as well? It didn't pee. Pampers are actually super dry. It didn't pee. There is no wetness when you touch them. This absorbs in. What? And there's no rash. I definitely didn't have fanny or nappy rash. Oh. So it's amazing. So I think that that's okay for me to give myself one night off. But then it did become a problem. It was like I was sneaking to servers and thinking, yeah, I'm going to go get myself a bag of nappies.

19:10Yeah. But then I thought this is getting out of hand. Like, this is not okay. It's a good job of being single for six years voluntarily, by the way. I think I'm asexual now. But anyway, that's not the point. I could do what I want. I don't think I could live with doing that every week like it's normal. So anyway, I love you. Sorry if I rambled because I literally just left this within the space of half a second of Anna's post. So I love you. Bye. We love you too. So I want to know, does she wake up, need a wee, and then just think, I'm going to piss? Or does she sleep through and just pisses in her sleep?

19:44Anna Williamson:I mean, I sort of feel like you shouldn't have to put up with that. go and see a dock, babes. But listen, if you're happy wearing a little pampers and, you know, go for it. And I'm pleased you didn't get a nappy rush, babes. Right, another one. Hey, Luanna. Petty Polly confession here. I don't know if this is a genius idea and maybe illegal. My ex-partner moved out a few months after we split up and he moved in with his new girlfriend whilst waiting for his new house to complete. Anyway, he refused to move his belongings out with him after me asking him multiple times to collect his things. He refused, saying he didn't have anywhere to store his stuff.

20:18Not my problem. I needed some Doc Martens for an event, and I didn't like the 180 quid price tag just for one event. So I had a genius idea. I started selling his clothes on Vinted. And yes, I was selling his 150 plus items for just five to ten pounds. Stop it. Safe to say, I bought them boots within a few days, and I had change. So, girls, if anyone's partner picked up some amazing bargains on Vinted, it was probably me. and I wore my Doc Martens with pride knowing he would never know his clothes he spent his hard-earned money on paid for my boots. Can I just say that is an absolute genius. That is genius.

20:57You told him to move it and he didn't? He didn't. Sell it. That's that. Sell it. Well, on that note, that is it for this week's Luana Toti Extra. We will be back with your usual dose of Luana on Monday. That's right. Don't forget, guys, to get in touch.

21:10Anna Williamson:This is your episode. We would like you to flood the inbox. It's Luanna at EverythingLuanna.com. We would like a crisp, clear voice note, please. To 075-215-64640. Please do all of the usual bollocks, which we really appreciate, which is rate, follow and subscribe. Oh, I like that. Clear, concise communication. Thanks, babe. Rate, follow, subscribe. And we'll see you on Monday. Bye. Bye. This has been a Global Player original production.