TOTALLY EXTRA: Our 'Liiiifecoach' moment

0:02Anna Williamson:This is a Global Player original podcast. Be warned, it's Luana and this podcast contains honest, upfront opinions, rants, bants and general explicit content. But you know you love it. Happy New Year! Do you know what's been cool? So last year we fell on Christmas Day, the 25th, and this year. Isn't it great? Yes. We started the year and it's the first of bloody January. and we've just hit you bish, bash, wallop, ka-ping, rah! Right in the vag. With an episode on the 1st of January. There's nothing cleaner than a Monday and it being the 1st of January. There's nothing cleaner than it being a Thursday.

0:42Anna Williamson:What is cleaner that it's the 1st and you're getting Luanna episodes? Can I just say, Lou, we are precisely 11 seconds into 2026 Luanna and we've already become so Luanna in that we can't even get the frigging day right. Who knows what fucking day it is, okay? We've had a lot on. Who even knows and cares at this time of year? You never actually really know what day it is until it's about the 5th or 6th of Jan. Until the kiddies go back, everyone goes back to work. It is just like the guff day. It is guff day. For about three weeks, it's guff day. Everybody's hungover today. Look, it's New Year's Day.

1:14Anna Williamson:We like to do this every single year. We love to look back and look forwards. So every year we do our thoughts, our feelings, our aspirations, our resolutions. We like to call it our predictions. Yeah, so... Lou, just quit a bit of housekeeping because if you haven't followed, now is your chance. First of Jan, start the way you mean to go on. Please do follow right now our podcast. It's up in the top right-hand corner. And please, if you haven't already, subscribe on YouTube. If you're watching us on YouTube, hello! So yes, as Lou did say, it is the moment of reflection and joy. Okay. So what...

1:52Anna Williamson:Limbo, over to you. What's going on? Will we do predictions or aspirations first? predictions predictions yeah so so how do we do this are we going back to what we did what did we predict would happen in 2025 and we'll see if we were right and were we right so hopefully you've got that I have got them all and this can be anything in the world celeb culture our lives well these were what we said last year right so what did Anna predict Anna predicted we would have a new PM oh and we did not oh we didn't we did not okay what have we had Keir Starmer for a whole year Yeah, yeah. That's where I was a bit confused.

2:26Anna Williamson:Well, that's why it's all gone wrong, guys. I wonder. We should have had a new one. Well, I. Number two. She said there would be a baby in Team Luanna. And Jess is up the duff. Yes. She's due. And Nanny Becky. Yeah. There we go. That's double babies. Okay. Yeah. And you predicted that Meg and Harry would have something big, a breakup or a baby. You predicted it would be a make or break year for Megan and Harry. Nothing's happened. apart from that TV show she had. Well, we can't include that. I wouldn't say anything of actual magnitude. No. No. One out of three. Not bad. One out of three is not bad.

3:03Anna Williamson:Well done, my friend. Thank you, my friend. What about my friend over here on the left? Louisa said, number one, Keir Starmer will step down. Well, I fucking should have done. Absolute bellend. I'll be honest, quite a few people that would agree with that. He should step down. And people might not have agreed with it when I predicted it last year, but they do now, don't they? Your bell ends. Well, there we go. But not correct. But not correct. Number two, you said that I would be up the duff. And to the best of my knowledge, I am not. Oh, that was wishful thinking. And you predicted that Trump will say something stupid.

3:40That is right.

3:41Anna Williamson:And correct. Can I just say you hedged your bets well on that one. So one out of three as well. You did say something stupid. What about you, Emma? I said it would be a scorchio summer. And it was quite scorchier. We had a great summer. It was a hot summer. Yeah. I don't remember. It was much better than previous years. We had a brilliant one. And it started really early. Like in May, we had a belter. Best one on record we've had actually for a long time. Thank you. I said it would be a crazy year for the news. I mean, guys, we're being broad here. Very broad. And I'm going to take it because it was a bit wild.

4:20It has been a wild year, yeah. And I also said that I thought there would be lawmaking slash protection slash guidelines, re-family vlogging and online content. Oh. There haven't been, but I feel like there is more. It's on the agenda.

4:34Anna Williamson:I would say. Still don't get it though. You got one out of three. Two out of three. Two out of three. Yeah. But you're on to something with the other one. Okay. What will our predictions be for next year? Right. So this year. This year. This year. It's the first. Happy New Year. She's still pissed on her sherry from yesterday. You guys are prepared. Yeah, I've prepared. In Louisa Stiley. She wants me to do mine just in case you want to copy it in mine. Right, no. So first up, so predictions for this year, 2026. Now, the issue I have, caveat here, is I forgot what predictions I'd given the previous year.

5:13Anna Williamson:It obviously turns out, though, I clearly have a theme in my brain because the ones I have legitimately written down are very similar to the ones that I got wrong last year. But I have put, and I do feel quite strongly about this this year, that there will be a new government in power this year slash or leader of the government. Well, you've got to go for government as in a different party. Exactly. I think, okay, can I maybe change this? I think there will be a severe political shake-up this year. so some political magnitude of like record breaking history books stuff I think there will be either mass anarchy or I just think something quite monumental will happen politically this year with the government and the leadership of this country my second one I seem to have a thing about Meghan and Harry but I've put and I feel quite strongly about this too I've put Prince Harry will come back into the fold I feel like this is the year he may be brought back.

6:12Anna Williamson:Well, they booted out old Andy. So I just wonder that if this is the year that something might happen that brings Prince Harry back into the fold in an official capacity. It's a prediction. And then I've put here, this is sort of wishful thinking because I think of the slightly, yes, mucky end of last year from a patriotic standpoint. I'm predicting that this year, politics aside, but there'll be something really unifying for the UK and I've put something sport, something patriotic but something positive, a turning of the tide that would be of a unification. Because let's be, well it is but that's why I want it to be a prediction.

6:51Anna Williamson:Because I think last year it became very, very fractured and I think, I'm hoping something this year might just unify everybody. It's the Men's World Cup this year. This is what I'm thinking. If it's a sport, it's something that makes us all feel a bit more together. England! So those are mine. Very nice. Imojin? Yeah. Well, I did a bit of a Louisa and semi-forgot about the predictions part. Surprising. And she bollocks me if I forget anything. I predict this year that there will be new presenters of Strictly come dancing. Brilliant. I predict that too. And I will predict that one of them will be male and one of them will be female.

7:35No, Bex is now jumping in. Go on. Bex wants me to name them. Okay, who are they going to be? They are going to be... I prep for this shit and I've still got it crap. Oh, God.

7:44Anna Williamson:No, this is really... Oh, okay. Stephen Mohan and Maya Jammer. I can tell you who two of the front runners are. Go on. Rylan and Holly Willoughby. Really? I don't think it's going to be Holly Willoughby. I don't think she's popular enough anymore. Just what the news are saying. Interesting. It's going to be... Oh, I know who it's going to be. I don't. But actually, if we're going to do a strictly predictions round, this is actually I've got no skin in the game at all I have no idea no intel I would love it to be Zoe Ball I do love Zoe Ball I love Zoe Ball I just think she'd be perfect didn't she do it before she did It Takes Two yeah I think she'd be perfect maybe her and Rylan I think she'd be good they'd be good I'm a big fan of that right next one I think that either both or one of you will be on a big TV show this year.

8:36Anna Williamson:Maybe we'll finally get to do Hunter. Maybe not, Louisa, because she's never in the country. That's true. But she could be offered it. She could be offered it. I think that might happen. I think there will be a big decline in Mr. Trump's health. Yeah. I think that that is coming up. Do you? Yeah, I do. Do you have any in too? No, I think there have been rumblings this year about his health and I think they will continue this year. And I also think that there will be a big political shake-up in the UK. I'm kind of here for that. I will also predict something a bit more cheery. Go on. I predict that Louise will have a lovely time in Dubai.

9:27Anna Williamson:That's nice. Thanks. You're welcome. Right, go on, Lou. You've had five minutes to think of some things. Right. So predictions for 2026. I predict that we're going to see a lot of people wearing, like, country chic. Okay. Cotswolds country. I'm loving this whole theory. I think that's going to really come. I think, like, we're going to go, like, Essex girls to Cotswolds girls. I think we're going to see a bit of a country chic movement. Oh, okay, like a style shift. Yeah, a bit of Lydia Millen. Like a Lydia Millen. Okay, I'm good for that. I think that that's going to be more. him. Right. Like a Ralph Lauren Christmas we just had.

10:06Anna Williamson:Yeah I think that there is going to be civil unrest. Keir Starmer might get egged. That's what I think. Eggs. Eggs. Or something like. Eggy Starmer. Yeah something like that will happen to Starmer. Yeah. Something you know. I predict as well that

10:33Anna Williamson:Simon Cowell might die. I've just got a feeling about it, guys. Oh, that is very bold, Claim. Was that just your brain? Yeah, whatever. It was your witchy sense. It was my spirit guide. Right, okay. Yeah, and I feel bad, but I think it's a strong possibility. I think that's what it is. Wow, strong predictions. That is a prediction and a half. Wowzers. Log them in, please, Imogen. We'll log them in.

11:05Next, aspirations. Yes, yes, yes. Things we wanted to happen this year. Okay. Oh, go on. And did we make them happen? I said that I wanted to be successful in my heels dancing classes. Yes. Because I started teaching heels classes this year. And I want to say it was a slow start, but they're picking up. And I think that I've done it. Good girl. I've done it. Good girl. And I'm proud of myself.

11:28Anna Williamson:Women supporting women. Good girl. And I've also seen an improvement in myself. Brilliant. So I like that. Good girl. Very proud of you. Well done. Next one. I said I wanted this year to be, or last year, 2025, to be a year of taking care of me, sorting out a skincare routine that I stuck to. Oh, you did say that. Focusing on mind, body, soul, restoring an equilibrium, less ups and downs, more steady. And I think I did do that. Great. Very good. My skin has been much better this year. You do look lovely. thank you more boundaries more kind of lots of hobbies but you know we're fine you've had some nice travel you've been away quite a bit as well it's been a much steadier year emotionally lovely that's good last year 2025 and I said I wanted to take more pictures make more memories because my camera roll was full of like screenshots and not enough like actual things and I didn't really do that I need to be better at that but it was still a noble gill that was me okay we'll do Anna next because Lou had about 17 Anna said she wanted to finally bring the granny pad up to date for the third year running oh finally thank fuck it's happening well it's definitely it's not finished but we're very much nearly in there yeah yeah so the Renault tick tick you said 2025 was going to be the year you got a kitten oh yeah you wanted a little rag doll oh yeah I didn't get maybe when you move back into the bunny camp it is on the cards yeah okay yeah not yet but yeah you said that in 2025 you wanted to go on a reality competition don't mind what dancing on ice strictly I'm a celeb I'll take anything antiques road show you did do that show up in Scotland oh well I've done a couple of bits and pieces you did the bridge of lies I wouldn't say that was career breaking but it was pleasant I've done a few nice things A couple of bits.

13:25Anna Williamson:Okay, so not bad. Good, not bad. Great, okay. And you also said Luana was going to break a record or win a significant award. And that has not happened, sadly. Didn't we? No. We did the first road trip of podcast. Yeah, we did the first road trip of podcast. That's a record then. Well, but also we've got record numbers, record listeners. So I'd say that's a win. For us, yeah. Well done. Well done us. Good. Okay, thank you. Lovely, well done. Thank you. And Louisa, here we bloody go. She said she wanted to plant salad leaves and start Lou's leaves and supply David at the pub with leaves. I did grow a lot of salad and I did provide lots of people with salad.

14:09Anna Williamson:I want to start Lou's leaves. I'm not sure if David ever got any, but he definitely ate some when he came to my houses for dinner. So Lou's leaves did take off. I did, right. There we go. Number two, you said you wanted to write a new Luana musical slash show slash pod panto of some sort to perform in 2026. Well, not far off here. Well, not far off because Trotsy's gone on sale. And it is semi-musical and we are writing songs for it. I'd say that was a win. I'd say I've achieved that too. There you go. Such a high achiever. You said you wanted to experiment with Luana on OnlyFans with feet with a comedic angle, proceeds to charity and when it's successful, keep the proceeds.

14:56We didn't do that. No, but we should stick that in the pot for this year. Yeah. You said you had Riri, a new horse. You wanted to do an FEI into one dressage test on her.

15:06Anna Williamson:No, I didn't do it on her. I still have her, but I haven't done that. You won a comp though on the GGs. Well, came silver. Yeah. Not on her, they're a different one, but yeah. You wanted to be able to do the splits again? Yes, I have achieved that when I've been drunk, but not sober. Well, I'd say it's an achievement. It's a win. Tick. And you said you wanted to keep two weekends free a month to allow for more spontaneity. No, I didn't achieve that. My life is planned with an inch of its life. It's very annoying. And that was that? Well, not bad. I'd say that was not bad. I mean, the loose leaves, I'm all over, quite honestly.

15:41Anna Williamson:That's the best part about the whole thing, actually. My best thing, this episode. Actually, I'd forgotten about that. I say we bring that one back I had a lot of radishes I had I mean brilliant I had onions Stacy Solomon came over and did vegetable gardening with me actually So 2026 Louisa what do you aspire to? Alright we're doing aspirations now So I would like to grow more vegetables in Dubai exotic ones maybe a watermelon okay are we going around or are you going to do all yours you keep going I would aspirations any more facial surgery I'm not saying you need it she said any more facial surgery you have your little chin done sometimes I just wonder if you had a bucket list you like your Dr Mo I'm not saying you need it by the way but just sometimes you're going to say you want to.

16:45Anna Williamson:According to Anna, I need some facial surgery. No, you don't. No, I, yeah, I'd like to grow a watermelon. I would like to, I really want to go to Oman, actually. On a holiday? Yeah, like a little break in Oman. I'd like to swim with wild dolphins. Yeah. I would like to successfully compete my horses. in Dubai and then in the summer in England when I fly them home. And that is, I think, all my aspirations. That's good aspirations. Good aspirations. Nice. Anna? Okay. I sound a little bit like Lou on this one. I know we said the other week, girls, you do end up morphing into those closest to you.

17:34Anna Williamson:But it's been a busy 2025 of not a lot of travel and holidays because we've been stuck in the Renault. So my one for 26 is more holidays. That does sound directly out of Louisa. But more holidays. Everyone loves the holidays. Just a few more little mini breaks. Don't have to go, you know, but just a few more regular little pops. Yeah, little popping aways. You know, a little city break here, a little thingy there. So a few more holidays I'd quite like. My aspiration is to write my fifth book this year. I haven't done one for a couple of years. But I've got an idea and I've been working on it for a while.

18:06Anna Williamson:So I'd like to get that out. Get that off the ground. Yeah, get that out. out. Oh, and then I've put, obviously, to move into my glammy pad of dreams. Well, that is going to happen. Well, that, fingers crossed, we're nearly there, we're nearly getting there. I did have a bonus one, and I've put Luanna to exceed 100 million listeners this year. We may already be over that. Do you mean listens? Yeah. Interesting. I need to bring it up, but But basically for Luanna, aspirations, for Luanna just to keep getting bigger and bigger and better. Bigger, better. I want us to have a great Troxy party. Yes, the big party is going to be amazing in October.

18:47Anna Williamson:So those are mine. Those are my aspirations. And what about yours, Emojin? My aspirations were to read, full stop. I love reading and I've done fuck all reading. I haven't read one book this year. I haven't even read one book last year. Bad. Wow. And I want to properly get back into it. Yeah. Properly. number two be more forward thinking oh and by that I mean like clock that in three weeks time it's so and so's birthday get a card be thoughtful send it like think more like that because I think sometimes I sometimes I think about it and then I get flustered and then I just don't do it and then suddenly and then suddenly it's tomorrow and I'm too late that's just life as well and i think but you're right thinking ahead does i think create a lot less stress in your life actually so i want to be a bit more forward forward planning yeah same as last time but take more pictures but at the same time be less on my phone i've noticed me in the evenings have started to be a bit more scrawly scrollers and it's a bit soul destroying so i would like to stop that catch yourselves doing that yeah and i did do something that excites me.

20:06I don't know. I don't know what that is.

20:08Anna Williamson:Have a wank when you're driving? Dangerous. Something that excites you. Yeah, what does excite you? Skydive. Should we all do a Luana skydive? Do you know, there's a coaching question that I give people and I say, what would you do? Like literally take a moment. What would you do if money wasn't the object so you didn't have to earn any, you didn't need any. If money wasn't the object, no one was watching, no one was judging, you didn't have to think about your friends or your family or anything, what would you do? Well, I'd just be the same. Brilliant. But no, but actually, jokes aside from a life coaching perspective, that's fantastic clarity.

20:46Anna Williamson:If you were to give me that answer, I'd go, fantastic. Your self-esteem is phenomenal. No, no, but being for real. Yeah. So it's what we ask people to, if they are feeling like they're holding back or not achieving their full potential for any reason of a caveat. I don't really know. Might get a fake dick. Brilliant. I'll leave you with it, Ims. For you, Lufanians, ask yourself. Generally people who are feeling a bit stark or whatever it may be, ask yourself that question. If literally money or people or emotions or nothing or geography wasn't an object, what would I actually be doing? Then that gives you a nudge as to what you should be doing.

21:22Anna Williamson:That is good. I'll leave it with you. Very nice. There's my life, Kooch, of the 1st of January. Right, guys, in the bin list. Yes. What do we want to get rid of for this year? 2026, what's going in the bin? I've added this in. I love this. And to be honest, this is one of my favourite parts of this. In the bin. You haven't done resolution? Well, that was kind of our aspirations. Resolutions is so 2024. It's all about aspirations. So aspirational. In the bin, I've chosen three. Go on. My first one is three weekly bin collections. It's a bit political, I know. It's driving us up the sodding wall in the village.

22:00You have three. As in the bin collections are every three weekly.

22:04Anna Williamson:That's ridiculous. All that council tax and they've just fucking put it up again. As in, so. Their bins only get collected every three weeks. No, none, none. Bin week. No, we have a different bin now. It's been in for a while. And all the Facebook groups in Hertfordshire have been popping. So we, I don't know what other counties have this, but basically the council delivered extra bins for everybody, which, if like most people, You don't have a fucking driveway, which most people don't, let alone if you live in a block of flats or you're an old granny that lives by herself and bless you, only has one little Tesco bag of rubbish a week.

22:38Anna Williamson:It's an absolute waste of time and space. So we now have four wheelie bins and a food caddy bin because we have to rotate our bins now. And they mix it all together anyway. I don't believe that they don't. It's all obviously done to separate more and more recycling, which I'm all for. I'm very eco-friendly, but I do it anyway. but basically it causes an absolute chaos. To lose point, all it does every Thursday night is there's a scrabble around, which bin is it tomorrow? Because no one knows you're running down the road in your slippers to try and see what someone's stuck out. It's a pain in the arse.

23:09Anna Williamson:The stuff goes mouldy. And then, to add insult to injury, my food caddy bin, which I'm very good at putting out, the bin people went and stuck it down too near the road. The car comes along and smashed it. So now I've got a broken food caddy, which is no good because foxes get into it. Anyway, first world problems, but three weekly bin collections. in the bin. It should be a weekly collection for bins. Can I tell you something? In Dubai, they collect your rubbish every day. Well, good for them because I wish we had that here. My next one is... One reason to move. I mean... Reason one. Road works and traffic jams everywhere.

23:45Anna Williamson:Oh, yeah. This is purely off the back of yesterday. I was trying to get somewhere. I thought I was being a smug git. You could see the big line of traffic. Stuck ways on. You go and take right. Thinking, here we go. a little rat run get down that rat run like I see three other drivers have got the same ways as me boom bollocks roadworks can't get down the rat runs we only have to turn around enjoy the queue so roadworks everywhere I'm sick of those or just do it at a time where people aren't driving or if you are doing the roadworks actually do the roadworks don't just stand there not doing any work and the last one this is my actual real massive bugbear it's a bit ranty now self-service supermarket checkouts.

24:26Anna Williamson:I stood at that self-service checkout the other day. Every other item in my basket, I had to wait for assistance. Oh, it's so annoying. Wait for assistance. Cannot calculate the weight. Well, I was honestly, to the point I saw someone I knew and they came over and took the piss out of me, justifiably so, because they had watched me whilst they'd been in the queue for the main till. And I was still there about 15 minutes later on my thing. So self-service checkouts, just get more staff on checkouts, please. Right, what's going in the bin for you? Go on, Lou. Rachel Reeves Rachel from Accounts Bye She can go in the bin Kirstama He can go in the bin Bye Like people being disunited I feel like everybody grumbles And actually we really can live together In like harmony I know I sound like a Miss World thing I was going to say alright Miss World But I just feel like Like there's so much Like anger and hatred between people and it really doesn't need to be that way and I wish that people's impatience would go in the bin like you don't need to cut in front of the first person to be like the next person at the lights like I just feel like impatience and people's intolerance to each other really does need to go in the bin because we're just at a stage now where everybody's so angry conflict and it's very there's a lot of conflict in england and i just don't like it i don't think it's necessary i think we can be kinder and more tolerant which really is saying something coming from me well i love that it really is i just feel like there's too much of that um what else can go in the bin uh we've done your three unless you want a bonus one that's fine I'll do my three that's what's going in the bin lovely what's going in the bin for you in the bin for me number one people with no business being in certain lanes on the motorway excellent don't I it's just there's no need you have no business being in that it's illegal now I think to hog the middle lane I'm sure it's illegal I don't know but sometimes you look at people you have no business being there oh sorry it's illegal in Abu Dhabi oh Jesus here we go not here You get done.