TOTALLY EXTRA: Stonehenge, Twin Penises & a Very Bad Taste Test

0:02This is a Global Player original podcast.

0:05Anna Williamson:Be warned, it's Luana and this podcast contains honest, upfront opinions, rants, bants and general explicit content. But you know you love it. I basically said to Carrie, I think I have said on our podcast that I do want to shag Boris. What about that time when you... No. I found my mum's vibrator and used it once. It's just closed. Yeah. There's still a dent. There's a dip, like a little crater. Mine is different slightly. I've got a beauty spot on mine and his hasn't, so we call my dick Cindy Crawford. But they are. They're identical in every fucking way.

0:46Anna Williamson:Good morning, guys. Welcome to Thursday. Good morning, guys. Louisa is stuffing her fizzog with a little shortbread biscuit. That's nice. Is it good? give us your no don't do that people hate it well you hate it so do the listeners they do actually I get told off on Instagram people go you dirty bitch Anna which is fair I will always take constructive feedback guys even if it is shade good morning welcome to Luana totally extra with myself Anna Crumble the dog is here Imogen Rose Hart is laid up with a dicky ankle yeah how are you Em yeah fine Same as she was on Monday. Yeah, and we've got social media manager Bex, who hasn't got a mic, but she has a chair.

1:33Right, we're guffing a lot. This is Luana Toti Extra. Extra runs, extra chat, extra confessions, extra stories, extra you. Make sure that you're following us on your favourite podcast platform. And if you're watching on YouTube, hello. If you are watching, please do subscribe now. Hi, guys. Hello, heart. Right, let's muff on in with some messages.

1:55Anna Williamson:Message from Emily. Hi, Luanna, Imo and Beck. Listening to Monday's episode of the pod, six of the fourth, and weirder of the week and his dog sniffing... Oh, yeah, that was right. Do you remember? Yeah, the dog sniffing fungus-filled belly button. I thought I'd message in and share that I don't have a belly button. Another one. Yeah, I know, right? I was about to say, haven't we read this story? But we wanted a picture. We did. Have they provided a picture? Excellent. Here we go. Here we go. That's what I like to see. Back in 2009, when I was 18, they took it away from me. I had umbilicus. Oh, yeah, I had an umbilicus hernia.

2:30Anna Williamson:Well, that's what my NHS app tells me. Apparently, it's not hereditary, but both my dad and his sister had the same and subsequently also do not have a baby. She comes from a family of non-belly butters. There you are. I thought I'd share this random fact. Love listening to the pod. Attached is a picture of my lovely scar, in case you were curious. Yes, we are. Emily from Gloucestershire. Where is it then? Yeah, Emma, where is it? Oh. Oh. Oh. It's just a scar. A scar slit. That's it. It's just no belly button. Wow. Wow. It's just closed. Yeah. There's still a dent. There's a dip, like a little crater.

3:07Yeah, like a little crevice. A crevice. A little crevice in there. Well, thank you for that. We've got a voice note rant from Grace next. Hello. Hi.

3:17Anna Williamson:I have a rant about Stonehenge and how bloody annoying Stonehenge is. now I'm sure there's lots of Stonehenge lovers and fans out there and I get it whatever everyone has to have a little thing but I don't have this thing with Stonehenge and I don't get it and I don't think a lot of people can I don't even know if any of us gets it really I have no idea but in my eyes it's a bunch of big bricks in a circle how did they get that just causes a lot of unnecessary traffic. Well, that is the problem. Something considered an arsehole built a road next to Stonehenge. Now, Stonehenge itself, they didn't leave any instructions or any information or really what it was about.

4:06Anna Williamson:I think we're kind of guessing. I think they've guessed about solar and all that crap. Yes. But I just don't get it. And then we don't know where the bricks came from. Exactly. Who put them there? I think we've even moved some of them. I don't know. I've not done my research on it. And then someone, yeah, just decided to build a road. And every person trying to get to Devon and Cornwall goes on that fucking road, looks at Stonehenge, and we end up in a massive big old queue because old Dolly Daydreamer in front of us is busy looking at the fucking bricks and not the road. Very frustrating. And they make it single lane.

4:47Anna Williamson:Whose idea was that? Let's make double lanes. let's go let's go no it's just very very frustrating and everyone talks about this tunnel that's being built is it ever being built I don't know but anyways Stonehenge my rant it's always been my rant if I'm honest don't get it yeah I mean I think the traffic pisses most people off I mean but I'm going to be honest when I go down to Devon I would slow down I do slow down I do rubber neck it my kids went to Longley Centre Park oh yeah it's a good one that Natalie and my parents I had to get rid of them for a few days when I was losing my shit. And they did send me a picture of them passing Stonehenge on the way down.

5:26I do it every time.

5:27Anna Williamson:And also, the thing is, when you actually go to actual Stonehenge, it's a bit of a walk. Is it? It's a bit of a walk. It's a couple of miles from the car park and all of that shit. So I then just like to think, let's do it for free. Take a little piece of it on the road. Yeah, you just slow your car down, have a little look, then you've seen it. I think there is another way. We've actually discussed this before, and someone actually even sent in a map, that you can turn off. Imo, what are you eating? It looks like a tongue. Imo's actually scoffing her face. Oh, okay. Go back on mute. And you can go around it.

6:02You can turn right, go up, turn left, turn left again, then turn right back on the way. I hear that.

6:08Anna Williamson:I feel you live close enough to a stone hen for it to boil your piss. I quite like it. Twins next. Message from Sophie. Hi, Luanna. Carrying on for your twin chat on Monday's app, I am a girl twin, non-identical, and we started our periods a day apart. Because we talked about Ben's penis with his twins, and I actually have got a voice note from him about whether they've got identical penises. I can play it. I will play it after this message, because it was the question on everybody's lips that week. It really was. So we did start our periods a day apart, and we've also experienced twin telepathy.

6:46Anna Williamson:telepathy one day yeah one day my twin was at home whilst I was at a friend's house and tripped and fell hitting her head it was pretty bad lots of blood and ended up in hospital while at my friend's house I started to get a really bad headache and I instantly knew that something would happen to her that's crazy yeah and five minutes later we got a call from my mum saying I needed to come home we've had lots of these moments another fun fact not only am I a twin but I am marrying an identical twin a boy twin and my brother has married a triplet wowie I would say that having a twin is the best thing ever when our late 20s were totally inseparable I do think boy twins are different as my fiancé definitely isn't as close to his twin it's fascinating that right do you want to hear if our good friend Ben does he have an identical penis to his identical twin we should probably just check with Ben he minds us no I said I'll play this on the next episode there we go I said to him do you and Joe have identical dicks?

7:46And this is his response. I can't actually remember what he said and you might have to bleep quite a lot of this, am I? He's quite inappropriate. And by the way, he's from Liverpool.

7:59Anna Williamson:Yeah, Lulu, they're identical. They're both about a foot long and they fucking smell like one too. But seriously, they're identical, which is fucking weird, I know. Mine is different slightly. I've got a beauty spot on mine and his hasn't, so we call my dicks Cindy Crawford. But they are. They're identical in every fucking way. Put your mouth around it in the dark and you won't be able to tell. Seriously, yeah. I can draw it for you if you want, so I'll send you the picture. I mean, that is classic Ben. He then sent me a picture. Husband of Lucy Cave. Which I'm pretty sure isn't his dick. That's not his dick.

8:32It's definitely not that big.

8:33Anna Williamson:That is not Ben's dick. I've seen his dick when we were on your yacht trip and Alex and I had a cabin next to Lucy and Ben. And then Ben, you remember when we got... Oh, my God. Do you remember when we got, the fire alarm went off one morning when we were on the yacht. And you've never seen, well, it's actually hilarious. It was quite after that incident where that rich. Yeah, that yacht went down. That yacht went down. And then we were on our yacht and the bloody fire alarm went off. Well, everyone was up those stairs. Within about, well, other than Nick and Nicole. Oh yeah. They would have died.

9:05Anna Williamson:They'd be dead. They would. But anyway, we all shot out of our cabins to get up the stairs to get out for the fire drill at like six in the morning. and everyone's staggering out and everything. And it was when we came back from that, Ben went back into their cabin and then came out stark bollock naked with a semi on. And I was like, waving it in my direction. It's like a poor wife. I was like, get that away from me. And I cannot deny I confirmed the footlong. Did you see the beauty spot? Cindy Crawford. I wasn't looking that much, to be honest. But yeah, so identical dicks. There you have it.

9:36Anna Williamson:There we are. We've got a message from a nun now. So Maya Coxlong. There we are. It's a theme. Foot long, dick. Hi, ladies. That's everyone. Bex included. Do you feel love, mate? Yeah, she is. Long-time listener, first-time messaging. Give me the name, Maya Cox-Long. Just so I give my personal experience on being a twin, more twin chat. I love twin chat. Following the curious questions on Monday's pod. My sister and I are mirror image identical twins. To answer Lou's question about the bits, although she was talking about dicks, we have identical boobs and downtowns. Well, we did before mine enjoyed childbirth.

10:13To answer Anna's question about periods, my sister started hers the day before our 13th birthday and I started mine the day after. So the same situation as the other twin that just raised above. We've had synchronised menses ever since. We lost our teeth within days of one another. Mirror image for us means she's left-handed, I'm right-handed. I have a freckle to the left of my belly button. She has an identical one on the right. I have a point on my right ear She has one on her left ear The only difference we really have is that she's two inches taller than me That's quite a big Significant, yeah Yeah, difference We've been known to call one another and say, for example I feel so sick before the other even mentions waking with a stomach bug This actually happened the day my morning sickness started One question we always get is What's it like to be a twin?

11:04But we don't know any other way What's it like not being a twin? Weird I know, but thought I'd share my little insight Perk is I'll always have a kidney ready if I need one. Love you girls. Keep doing what you're doing. Wow, there you go. I think that's so cool. Love this twin insight. Hey, it's Flo here to say drivers who switch and save with Progressive could save hundreds. Nice. With my new savings, I'll get some hiking gear. It'll be great for my outdoor era. I don't know if it counts as an era if you just buy stuff. Um, I got a cute hiking backpack. It's an outdoor era. Well, you only bought one thing.

11:36I don't think it's an era. Well, I think we're in a agree to disagree era. Yeah, sure, you're probably right. Anyway, with the money you could save by switching to Progressive, you can afford to switch to other things in life. It's... My savings era? Also, everything you do is not an era.

11:48Anna Williamson:Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Voice note from Laura next. Hi, Luanna Moore. Longtime listener here since 2020. And I always listen to the back catalogue on my way to a fresh Luanna poster. Well done. Pick one at random and see where it takes me. I just wanted to say a massive thank you from one of your biggest sleuth, Annie and Zia, for all of your advice and just the podcast in general, really. I've just separated from my long-term partner and the father of my children, my choice, of course. And thanks to listening to the pod, I have picked up some tips and tricks over the years of some of your listeners and especially of Anna with relationship advice.

12:32Anna Williamson:and I'm now in a very comfortable position whereby my job has allowed me to earn enough money so that I can buy the house off him which is a position that he himself is not in and I just think it stresses the importance of being financially aware as a woman and independent enough so that if you make these big life-changing decisions you aren't going to fall on your ass and that you will fall on your feet um it was a lovely conversation i had with my mortgage advisor where i just felt so proud of myself not to pick myself up but so proud of myself that um working my way up in my career and sticking at it and having savings to the point where i can now provide my two young children with a home um i'm just so proud of myself so you know fingers crossed four to six weeks that knobhead will be out of my life um and out of my house and i'll get my peace back but yeah i just wanted to say a massive thank you um and just continue doing what you're doing because you really don't understand how important you are in someone's day thanks love you all i think listen we beat that drum a lot but financial independence for everyone woman or man is very important because it just means freedom independence it's called so prepare your fuck off fund if you haven't got one your fuck off fund squirrel away uh petty poly next from anonymous so tie a bow around my knob brilliant like you yeah clearly well done even you know bit of a petty poly and a question all rolled into one what was the craziest thing you did as a teenager that once becoming an adult you finally told your parents about.

14:19Anna Williamson:It was a lovely rare summer's day for the UK classic barbecue at my parents house my husband along with our two young children and my brother with his wife and kids all sat around enjoying a lovely burger after one too many ciders. My dad is very quick witted and can be quite below the belt at times was doing his usual banter but this time at my expense thinking he got the better of me fueled by the liquid courage or simply the fact I wanted to one-up him and wipe the smile of his face. I decided in front of all my immediate family to confess when I was mid-teens going through the thick of hormones and being told no.

14:48Anna Williamson:I used to go and take a nice long shower reach into my dad's toiletry basket pull out his razor swap swap out their old head for the new one and go to town and shave my arsehole making sure I got into every crease and crevice with great satisfaction knowing the next day he'd be shaving his face with the remains of my arsehole pubes around his whole face Needless to say, I've never seen my dad so shocked and the whole family in fits of laughter please keep me in on oh i don't know what did you do i found my mum vibrator and used it once oh you've told us that does she know that though i don't know i've definitely told my parents probably things that aren't worthy of being put on the pods to be honest i've definitely yeah fessed up as a parent as a grown-up now to my parents about all the crazy shit i got up to as a teen what about that time when you no there are some things that my parents are still forgive me for i think my parents have definitely they've gone a bit like oh my gosh did you it's probably just the crazy fun shit i had when i was a teenager and i've now told them and they're like anna i was quite good as a teenager just liked horses had a steady boyfriend yeah i remember my parents once i will confess this this is a confession but this was at the time they lost the shit with me so one of my friends um who lived up the road one of my male male friends he used to grow uh cannabis like in his greenhouse so bad i know his greenhouse and i remember like he gave me some and i like he dried it all out and i remember like having it and i put it in i don't know how old i was like maybe 15 i don't know 16 and i had it in my drawer in my bedroom and then my mum found it and totally lost her shit totally lost her shit well that is quite bad finding weed.

16:38Anna Williamson:Yeah. From your 15 year old. Yeah, it's bad, isn't it? Yeah. The thing is, I was a really goody two-shoes as well so I did shit myself. You weren't that much of goody two-shoes. You've got weed in your red side cabinet. Right, we've got an ick of the week now from Minnie. Good morning, ladies. Love the part and all that jizz. I've just listened to Teddy Extra and you're talking about icks. and my biggest ick is men with mincy long fingers and like long fingernails oh that's rank doesn't do anything for me it's fucking gross mincy fingers you just see them sort of and they're always clammy clammy mincy fingers yeah clammy's bad anyway that's that's my ick of the week yeah good one good one yeah I don't like men with long fingernails.

17:35You know when you do a handshake and it's like jammy and... We've got some misheard lyrics now from a non, so we've called you Robin. Hi ladies, long time listener, and you girls are my therapy. Keep me sane. Please call me Robin after my dad. He's just passed away. Oh, I'm sorry. When I was around seven, my parents took me and my sister to Les Mis. I fell in love with the theatre and musicals. My mum would play the cassette in the car and I'd sing along thinking I had an amazing voice. In truth, I sound like a cat being strangled. Hence the WhatsApp message, not a voice note. One day my sister, four years old, who loved to make fun of me like all older siblings do, oh, four years older, noticed that I was singing the lyrics wrong to There is a castle on a cloud.

18:19She was singing

18:21Anna Williamson:There is a lady all in white Holds me and sings a lullaby She's nice to see and she's soft to touch She says, Courgette, I love you very much As you can imagine, my sister loved pointing this fact out The name is not Courgette, it's Cosette Brilliant She says, Courgette, I love you very much Brilliant, right, we've got a voice note from Emily next Hey, I'm my first time voice note to hear um i'm emily and i've been listening back to all of the um old loose lips episodes and i just had to voice that in because it really made me laugh because the one that i listened to today which is from february 2019 is where louisa her rant is all about um dog instagram accounts specifically making fun of norman's account and now who has account but cute crumble collins and who of course I follow by the way I'm one of the minges of Ming Lane Emily who own Pumpkin and Pop it the Pomeranians who also have Instagram accounts and they follow you all and Crumble as well but yeah I just had to voice it in because it really made me laugh but see you in October at the Troxie with the other minges from Ming Lane Sam and we're also bringing along our friend Sharon but yeah really looking forward to having a great night in October bye we loved and you gifted us your minges costumes which we might put on for the Troxie They were amazing, those girls.

19:55They were great. And I love those dogs. Your poms inspired me to get Crumble. And the Instagram account? Yeah, well, I remember that rant, actually. Yeah, well, I had previously tried to find it.

20:07Anna Williamson:Oh, that would be good. And I couldn't because it wasn't in any of the show notes. But now Emily has alerted me to one month in particular. I've bloody found it and I've clipped up the best bits. Oh, God. Oh, here we go. I've got to listen to myself now. Oh, yes, Imogen. So my rant of the week is people that create Instagram accounts. I'm looking at Imogen. Imogen is like a serial offender of my rants. So basically, people that create Instagram accounts for their pets. It's just a bit fucking stupid, isn't it? No one cares. No one wants to see the pictures. Who has time, okay, to manage two Instagram accounts?

20:50I've got more time now. I don't care. I know I have three. Your dog has an Instagram account. Okay? Why? It's fucking stupid, okay? I don't really have anything else to say about it, apart from the fact, get a fucking live. If you have created a pet Instagram account, what the fuck are you doing with yourself? I know a lot, clearly. Who follows them? Nobody cares. A lot of people follow across. Nobody follow these pet Instagrams. I follow. Just don't. Just don't. Just don't. I just don't get it.

21:24Anna Williamson:I do. I'm a massive hypocrite because I follow that bloody dog account as well. Well, clearly I have a lot more time on my hands now because I said who can manage two Instagram accounts. I have three. There you go. I've got Crumbles. I've got my question one. I've got my main one. Yeah. You know, so. I would like to say in defense of you. Well, we do know I'm a hypocrite. Well, there is that. This podcast just outs me as a hypocrite. Well, but it also, we've also found ourselves recently, because we have been going a very, very long time, which is amazing. We're so grateful to all of you. Nearly eight years now.

21:59Anna Williamson:Times change. Well, times change. But also, we did find ourselves a couple of weeks ago also having to confess to when, before Louisa became friends with Carrie Johnson, Bojo's wife, and now I am sort of friends with her as well. We did actually admit the other week to Carrie. After a few margaritas. Yeah. of the episode where we were talking about. I basically said to Carrie, I think I have said on our podcast that I do want to shag Boris. And I said about your father-in-law, Stanley, and she's such a good egg. She laughed about it. She's like, yeah, people say that all the time. So yeah, I felt quite good that we confronted that.

22:37Anna Williamson:Yeah, because it was a bit of an elephant. A bit of an elephant. And also, just want to say, she's one of the nicest fucking people. She's so funny. She's got such a good sense of humour. Right. That's a good friend I've brought into the fold. It's a great friend. I would, Lou, you have good friends. No one. Really. We don't hang out with any of your friends. No. Don't think you like them that much. No.

23:02Right, we've got some confessions now. I've never told anyone this, but first up. This story takes place on Christmas Day a couple of years ago. The weather was damp and depressing, but the Christmas spirit was in full swing. I'd spent Christmas Eve at my boyfriend's house. In the morning, we opened presents there, had some brekkie with a side of alcohol, of course, and then headed back to my mum's house for dinner. Now, I'm not sure how anyone else is on Christmas Day, but I practically starved myself the whole day to ensure I can eat all of my warm, juicy dinner. Oh, me too. I do that. Oh, me too.

23:38Finally, my mum called out, dinner's ready. And it was fucking go time. People hurrying back and forth with various items, cutlery, meat, veg, gravy. I'd just set the table and began returning to the kitchen to continue helping when I suddenly spotted it. Yes, the gravy is finally out. I noticed drips of gravy on the floor in the hallway, presuming someone had spilled it while bringing it to the dining room. Anyways, me being half cut and getting hangry, I bent down, scooped up a dribble of gravy on my finger and licked it straight off. Tastes a bit funny, I thought. so I went for round two. Nah, this isn't right.