4.2M Q&A - Sleeping With An Ex, Harambe & Settling Down - #1104

25:56Right now, you can get the brand new Whoop 5.0 and that 30-day free trial by going to the link in the description below or heading to join.whoop.com slash modern wisdom. That's join.whoop.com slash modern wisdom.

26:13Verocoria. Whatever. Talk about golden retrievers. Dude, I, where I live in Austin, Texas is kind of like, it's essentially the epicenter. It's the supermassive black hole in the center of the golden retriever verse of Austin, Texas. And I think that this is maybe a sigh up by big golden to get me to buy a golden. And I'm being so, you know, the, uh, the Truman show and the guy comes over the radio, he's like, send in another three golden retrievers to sniff his leg as he walks past. And it's every single fucking day that I go. So I'm happy to talk about golden retrievers. Wally meets world on Instagram is perhaps my favorite Instagram account.

27:01It's this overly emotional golden retriever who permanently looks like he's going through a depressive episode. And I love him. I love him so much. Like if I sat down, I would, I would happily do a round table episode with three golden retrievers. Give me time. Give me time. I really want to have one. I feel bad because my mom and dad always had dogs when I was growing up and they treated them so well in terms of they always got walks. They were always looked after. They weren't pampered, but they were just, they were never left alone for too long. They got regular exercise. They were golden border collies.

27:40I would feel so bad knowing the standard of care that a dog can get and that a dog did get from my mom and dad, I would feel bad to have one and not do that for it. So I'm aware this is like, it's the I'm not ready to have a baby equivalent for fucking golden retrievers, but I really want one and I'm trying to not be selfish about getting one just because I want it to then not give it the standard of care that I think it deserves. So I will soon, so soon. If anyone can recommend a golden retriever breeder or something, that probably will push me a little closer. Nice, fluffy, a show golden, not a working golden, please.

28:27Love working goldens, but I want a big, I want a big fluffy idiot, please. Big fluffy idiot. Thank you. Amber Ravina. More open tabs, group pods, please. And thank you. Yes. Yes, but caveat. I don't know what the name is. I don't know the name is of all of these. I've been fighting so hard behind the scenes to work out what to call these things. we were going to call the big names episodes like human mccuska segura uh uncommon conversations because it is it's like it's a strange group of people but it's so long when you try and put that on youtube or spotify it it's huge it takes up loads of space so then we were going to call it smoke break right it's casual we're going to call it hot mic and someone's got hot mic and they've got george bush money so i don't want to go up against them uh then it was going to be smoke break.

29:22It still might be, you know, the CEO goes out for a smoke break and the janitor's there kind of playing off that. Plus it's casual and relaxed. And then it was going to be good vibes or good dudes. And it'd be funny if we brought a girl along because she would still be a good dude. And then the one with George and Sean and the guys was maybe going to be good dudes or rabbit hole because we keep going down rabbit holes. But then there's a New York Times limited series from ages ago called rabbit hole. And then it was going to be open tabs because it's all of the things that are in our minds and all of the different tabs that we've got open on Chrome the shit that we've seen on the internet.

29:55I don't know what to call it. And it's giving me, it's giving me low key anxiety because I keep releasing episodes and I can't decide. I can't decide what it is. And we keep on having the same discussions. And I, we were also going to call it blunt rotation. The big episode was going to be called blunt rotation. I don't know what to call it. Maybe I should just do, if I do a poll, people are going to vote on the one that they think sounds cool, but not the one that they would click on. And then every time that we pick something, we have to go through, we have to check with an IP lawyer. Because when you get to a certain size, because people think that you have money that they can come after you for, it's called passing off in the UK.

30:43I don't know what the equivalent is in the US. Infringement, basically. and the US is a first to use not a first to file as well in trademark law which means you get a degree of protection by simply using it first even if you haven't registered it the fucking nightmare but whatever it's called you will be getting more of those group pods I enjoy them I think they're fun just need a name okay P Nobel 3 can you get Elon Musk on the pod I got put in a signal group chat with him last week. I've been orbiting for a while, which I guess is an appropriate term for him, both sexually and physically. And I had slowly sort of crept toward him.

31:30He'd watched a bunch of the pods. He posted the David Friedberg app that we did on X, which was very kind. And then I got put in a group chat after he posted that one. And I said, do you want to come on the pod. And he said, maybe after the SpaceX IPO. So just waiting for maybe the most valuable company ever in history to go public. And then once that's happened, we'll do something. I've got an idea for how I want to put that together. I want to do something incredibly special, similar to the McConaughey, kind of the big moment. And regardless of what you think about Elon, right, you don't even need to like him.

32:08You don't need to agree with him. You can't deny that he's one of the most influential people on the planet. He is. And maybe one of the most influential people. He may end up being the most influential person in history by the time that he dies. And I think it's a good idea to have a conversation with someone like that. So I'm going to try. And I'm going to do something special.

32:37KPTMizzie. Chris, I found the tall girl problem is actually a compounding issue. If a woman has a high income plus high EQ from therapy, plus the wisdom of intense life experiences, she becomes taller in ways she can't unlearn. How do we address this asymmetric growth? Is it a problem of how we incentivize men toward internal work? Or is it that we lack therapy or growth models specifically tailored to men? P.S. Curious if other women here feel their height is coming at least equally, if not more, from their personal growth than their paycheck. This is why I love the Modern Wisdom audience. That is a fucking awesome question.

33:17That is a really, really interesting question from someone who's thought about it deeply, and that's why I love you guys. The question here, tall girl problem, socioeconomic success from women has made it difficult or more difficult for them to find a partner who is as socioeconomically successful as they are or more. Women typically want to date a man who's as educated as they are or more and as financially successful as they are or more. There is a third element here that's being proposed by KP, which is the emotional development. If you've done a lot of self-work, here is another delta, it's another distance from you to the people that you're trying to date.

33:59And I get the sense that this is actually one that could maybe be more destructive to relationships, especially over the long term. So on the front end, when you meet someone, you might be more concerned with their education level and their current earning. As you get into a relationship, that may, I think, become less and less relevant. On the other side, I think someone's emotional intelligence up front, you're not being that emotional, right? When you first meet somebody, you maybe get some senses here and there. But as you get deeper into the relationship, if you've done a lot of self-work, if you've done a lot of therapy, if you've thought deeply about your emotions, you're trying to connect to your feelings, you're understanding your patterns, you're really trying to go there.

34:38You're trying to hold your emotions. You're trying to develop yourself. If you and your partner have a big delta, I think that is going to create more friction and make you feel more alone in the relationship than them not having a master's when you've got a master's and they've just got an undergrad degree or something like that. So I think this is almost certainly a contributing element. I don't know whether the asymmetric growth is that women are doing more emotional work. It obviously seems like you are, unsurprising, modern wisdom listener, obviously. I don't know whether that is on average true for women to be more emotionally in tune and developed than men are in the same way as higher levels of degree accomplishment and higher levels of financial success are true.

35:32By the way, the stat of women out earning men is now, they out earn men up to the age of 32, is 29 previously. And I think it's maybe 32, 33. Like this is a big window for women to try and date in. So I don't know if it's asymmetric growth on average or just asymmetric growth for you and all of the other women that listen to Modern Wisdom, obviously. Also, if they've been absorbing the British accent, I imagine that's probably a competitive disadvantage too within the market. It's very difficult to compete with a British accent. So hold on to the American accent, at least if you're from America.

36:11How do we address this asymmetric growth? Is it a problem of how we incentivize men toward internal work or is it that we lack therapy or growth models specifically tailored to men? I certainly think both of those things because the two things are interlinked. Men will be more likely to do a modality of emotional development that they think and that they can see will give them outcomes that they want. If you have therapy and growth models specifically tailored to men, they're more likely to observe the direct outcome, beneficial outcome that they want and pursue it, I think. Rather than trying to sort of whip men into doing it or guilt men into doing it or shame them into doing it, it's much better to just make it so attractive and so obviously beneficial to them that they want to do it.

37:02That to me seems to be like just incentives, incentives, align the fucking incentives. And if you align the incentives so that a guy goes, hey, I can actually see how this would benefit me in ways that I care about. I'm going to go and do it. that's the easiest way. So, uh, a model of getting more guys into therapy, bringing across some of the tools, I guess, from coaching and men's work into therapy. Um, and I've worked with maybe five or six therapists, most of them for a short period and two of them for a long period. I found myself getting frustrated. I was about to say as a man, like the fucking like speaking as a white man from England, I found myself getting frustrated when it only felt like there was reflection and no, okay, and this is what we're going to do about it.

37:56Or this is an exercise that you can do in the real world, which is going to expose you to this pattern. Or this is a conversation that might be beneficial for you to have. Or I want you to note down when you feel this thing come up. That to me felt like a little bit like homework, but it felt like I was making progress. Like there was a plan in place and that sort of linear trajectory, right? That sort of upward trajectory is I think really important to men. So yes, this will help to close the Delta. What I really just need to do is start a fucking dating organization of modern wisdom listeners.

38:35like that would pre-select for so many of the problems that people have like this is what's mad about the live shows chriswilliamson.live if you're in the uk and dublin uh and northern ireland i know that you sometimes touchy about being a part of the uk at the live shows the number of couples that come together and say we uh work in different companies we have different careers we travel a good bit each day but we listen to the show and then when we come back together on a nighttime, we talk about what's happened in the show. Like that is obviously because this like wisdom core stuff is a really, it's resonating with people like eating a type of nutrient that you haven't had for a long time.

39:19Like it's spirulina for your soul. When I get it right, when I get it wrong, it's sometimes it's just slightly less spirulina for your soul. when I get it right this gives people the opportunity to really understand themselves and then deepen their relationship together so pre-selecting for just a bunch of people who are all involved and interested in the same stuff I should just try and find a way but if I do that the prospect the possibility of there being so I did think about doing this I was like oh well why don't I do a mixer after the live event it's gonna be hard because like London the Apollo show in London in October is, it's a three and a half thousand capacity venue and we sold it out last time.

39:58So first off, where the fuck am I going to put, let's say 20 % of the people from there go? That's a lot of people, like 700 people is a lot of people. And what if this, I just had this vision in the back of my mind that two people get drunk and go home and have a fumble and then like right wing misogynist, blue pilled cuck, feminist podcaster, embroiled in drunken. I'm like, I I wasn't even there. I was just trying to get, I was just trying to fucking fix the birth rate and get some, make people, help people fall in love and find someone that they're less alone with. So that's what I'm trying to think.

40:33I'm trying to think about. Maybe just come to the live shows and just hang around in the lobby and have a little flirt, have a little chat, you know? Maybe that'll fix it. But I feel you. If you're very emotionally developed, it's going to be hard to resonate with people. And yeah, you become taller in ways you can't unlearn, right? You can stop going to work. If you want to settle down, start a family, you can pivot your career. It's very difficult to forget the inner work that you've done, the emotional development, and it's going to make you feel quite alone. So the more developed that you get as a human, it's kind of like having a really refined palate.

41:13You become a foodie and you can understand the difference between this particular type of bolognese sauce and another one. and it means as your palate is more refined, there are fewer and fewer places that you can go to eat because you're not going to be able to enjoy things in quite the same way. You're maybe going to see through the shallowness of certain types of foods in ways that someone who doesn't have such a developed palate might not, they might not struggle with it. And I feel for you, but also I think that the development is worth it. You just need to work a little bit harder to find your person and I am going to try and help.

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42:27And Shopify takes all of the mess off your hands and allows you to focus on the job you actually came here to do, designing and selling the thing that you love. So upgrade your business and get the same checkout that we use with Nutonic with Shopify. Right now, you can sign up for a$1 per month trial period by going to the link in the description below or heading to shopify.com slash modern wisdom, all lowercase. That's shopify.com slash modern wisdom. Shitty cat fox. Why do you and literally all of your guests endlessly pander to feminist bullshit and then pretend you somehow aren't part of basically all the problems you talk about on your show.

43:09Am I, how many, how many manosphere accusations in headlines do I need? I actually should just have you write my PR, shitty cat Fox, which is a brilliant name, by the way. I should have you write my PR. He is not a part of the manosphere. He doesn't care about men. He's not a male supremacist. He endlessly panders to feminist bullshit along with all of his guests and then pretends that he somehow isn't basically part of all of the problems he talks about on his show. That is the best PR that I could come up with. But as I said, I have neck ache and back ache from being ripped around by people on the internet not being able to work out whether I'm their enemy or not on both sides.

43:57I'm being ideologically spit-roasted by both sides of the internet, right? Both the manosphere hate me and the feminists hate me, and I think that most people sit in the middle. I think that most people understand that these conversations are pretty important and that most of the stuff that goes on on the internet is just

44:20rage bait people looking for clicks i'm really trying to not do that i apologize if it feels like i'm endlessly pandering to feminist bullshit i would love for you to sit down with some of the girlies from tiktok and work out who thinks they're right what you can have a conversation between yourselves and then when you work out who you think is right come and have a chat with me but it does feel a little bit like being accused by opposite sides of the same spectrum about being the opposing thing that each side thinks I'm not. So a little confusing, but thank you. I appreciate it. Always nice to meet a fan.

44:57Always nice to meet a fan. Joe A. Gaffney. Hello, Christopher. Will we get any other flavors for the Newtonic Focus pouches? the speak of the devil. So these Nutonic Focus pouches, the Zinternative, as we called them, took ages to develop. It was nearly 18 months to get right and dial the flavors in and they rule. And the Fresh Mint one is fantastic. Yes, there's new flavors coming. I commissioned a coffee, a citrus a spearmint a peppermint and a some sort of fruit like a mixed fruit thing and i think i just i have this vision so you can see it's this sort of cylinder thing i have this vision of creating uh like a set of pucks like one two three four five a variety pack like that and i just think it would be so cool um yes there'll be new flavors these sold out in 40 hours in the uk i think they're sold out everywhere now um they are going to be in gnc and vitamin shop just next to the counter which is pretty cool because health stores are pretty worried about putting nicotine in but having something that's a pouch delivery mechanism that doesn't have nicotine in and is good for you and makes your brain work better and is a supplement over time uh that seems pretty cool so i'm i'm very bullish on these everyone that we've spoken to about them all the retailers are super excited.

46:25So I'm working hard. We need to get the fucking freshman back in stock first, but we're on it. Leave it with me. And see. I don't know. I'm excited.

46:39Arnaldo Gonk. As a young guy, how are you supposed to gain the world's respect? Do you just have to wait? Yeah, I. I'm not sighing at your question. I'm sighing at the recollection of being in that position. When I first started running my events business, Voodoo, with Darren, my ex-business partner, we were 18. And then we started really sitting down with leisure company owners halfway through first year and then properly into second year. So we were 18, 19, 19, 20, 21, like really aggressively sitting down. And these leisure company owners are kind of grizzled old 50s, 60s nightclub group owners or operators of some kind or another.

47:28And I felt pandered to. I felt pandered to. And I sat down in these meetings because I knew that I had something to offer this company. And it felt like I was getting a pat on the head. It's very patronizing to me. And I really didn't enjoy it. And I understand, I think, what you're talking about, which is that the world doesn't respect you simply because of your age. And they can kind of disregard your competence, which is what you're operating on, right? Especially you're listening to a show like this, you're thinking about yourself, you're trying to improve yourself. And then all of that kind of just gets forgotten about because you're 19 or you're 22 or something.

48:10um the harsh truth is kind of yeah you do kind of just have to wait i'm sorry it's a very unsatisfactory answer you can try and speed run it um i'll give you one of the hacks that i found when i sat down to have conversations with the leisure company guys it would typically be me that led the pitch and then darren actually did the work so i got wheeled out as kind of like the queen. Like I would be the honorary citizen that kind of did the sell. And then Darren actually like did the grinding when it came to the numbers. One of the things that I did was try to protect myself and the person that was working because I didn't want to resent them.

48:53I didn't want to resent this larger company owner. So partway through sort of, Hey guys, look, before we get started, I just wanted to say, I know that we're a young company, but I think that our results speak for ourselves. We don't need, I don't want you to discount what we can do simply because we're young. I have a lot of respect for you and what you've achieved in the industry. You can look at our track record and it's very stellar. I'm going to treat you with the level of respect that I think you want to. And I expect that back. Like going in and saying something to the, something similar to that, at least in my experience, called out the elephant in the room.

49:32I know I'm young, but I'm great at what I do. I'm going to respect you. I expect you to respect me back. It's like, huh, this kid's, that was like a kind of risky thing to say. I like that. If someone came and said that to me, I'd be like, I like that. They're standing on principle. He knows his worth. He understands that he's young, but he also is prepared to call it out so that there's no unspoken fuckery going on in the background. That helps also just being really competent. there's a book by uh cal newport called so good they can't ignore you be so good that they can't ignore you be so good that they can't disrespect you is a solution but dude honestly until you're kind of the first change i think is probably about 24 24 25 and then the next one is 30 for guys 19 you are going to really be fighting against the tide and 26 27 28 like you're still doing it once you get past 30, I think it's kind of all the same.

50:28Um, so aging in some ways is good because it means that you've got way more respect. Um, I feel for you, keep on grinding and yeah, call it out. If you feel it, it's like, Hey guys, I'm noticing, I'm feeling a little bit of tension in the room. I know that I'm young, but look at what I can do. I'm, I'm really showing up here to in a professional manner to try and prove to you exactly what I can do I expect the same from you maybe at least for me I found that that was effective so godspeed fat phobic why so many ad reads in every episode the

51:12dude I I get it I understand I understand if you're locked in on a conversation and I come in and go, in other news, this episode is brought to you, but I understand that it might be an inconvenience for a minute. But dude, I just put three of the biggest podcasters in the world in the same room for three hours and there's four minutes of ads out of 180. Like, is that unacceptable? Is that really too high of a price to pay to receive three episodes a week, completely free. I'm really trying here. I'm trying to give this criticism as much of a steel man as possible. I understand that it's probably annoying.

52:04You're locked in and you don't wanna hear about whatever it is that I'm talking about, right? But dude, the lights need to be kept on. For instance, episode 1000, McConaughey built, rebuilt the house from Interstellar in Unreal Engine 5 and then bucked out this huge video wall and then built practical sets and got an Airstream and reversed the fucking thing in there and then had to get McConaughey and then had to edit it and all the rest of it. We lost, I lost so much money on that one production. It's insane. I didn't make it back on that one or on that one in the next one or on that one and the next one and the one after.

52:40I don't know how long it took me to make that money back. Like, I can't describe to you the level of entitlement that it feels like for someone to say it's not worth four minutes of ads that are free and skippable for me to be able to enjoy that content. Like, it feels unfair. Like, parasocial relationships feel, sometimes on the internet, a lot more entitled than my real social relationships. ups. None of my friends have ever said, dude, fucking, I love you, man, but I need you to, those ad reads, they're, you know, they're really getting to me. No one's ever said that, but I, I'm trying, I try to make them interesting.

53:21I really do. We, we did new scripts. Like I'm doing comedy bits. We're writing like little jokes and stuff. I'm really, really trying to make them as engaging as possible. I only work with partners that I care about and I, whose products I use, I'm really, really going for it. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry if it's a, if it's genuinely a big deal. I am sorry. But what you want? This is not easy. This studio was so fucking expensive. And I'm trying, I'm trying. I think I'm adding value. I think I'm trying to do different things and not just mail it in. I'm sorry there's four minutes of ads per episode, but it's not going to change.

54:03So if you don't like it, you're just, you're simply going to have to go somewhere else. And I apologize. You might not believe me, but this is what peak sleep optimization looks like. I'm not talking about the nightgown. It's just for sex appeal. I'm talking about my eight sleep. The eight sleep pod five comes with a smart cover you throw in your mattress that actively cools or heats each side of the bed up to 20 degrees. And now they've added the world's first temperature regulating duvet and pillowcase. So you've got 360 degree coverage for deep, uninterrupted rest. It's like being Walt Disney without the cryogenic chamber and the racism.

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55:31i think it's mustang i think it's mustang for the people who don't know what we're talking like what the fuck is this he's speaking in code um red god is the final book in the red rising series by pierce brown someone or a number of people pierce is kind of well known for killing off favorite characters, especially when you don't expect it. Again, he was unceremoniously in the same way I launched this studio without any fanfare. He just kills off people's favorite characters like that and doesn't complain about it, doesn't apologize about it. I did have a call with Pierce at the start of this year, and that was pretty revealing because I said, how are you getting on?

56:11And he said, I'm having an existential crisis because whoever I kill, I can't bring back. He can't retcon this series, right? You can't, oh, actually, she was wearing res flesh on her face and was in an antechamber that kept her alive secretly. They took this special venom that dropped her heart rate to below perceptible level. Like you can't bring them back. And I think the most brutally unromantic way to round out the series would be for Darrow to win, but for him to lose his wife again. That's what I think would be like, oh, fuck, so unsatisfying. And so it would just be a legendary way to do it.

57:00Now it's a high risk strategy because it is by definition, it's very unsatisfying. Darrow dying feels a bit cliche. a Severo dying is rough, but just not, it's not got the gut punch of a mother dying and Darrow losing his wife again. So that's my money. My money's on Mustang. I really do not envy Pierce's job or any, I mean, look at, um, Patrick Rothfuss, right? With the name of the Wind, third book. It's been, what, 10 years, 12 years or something since the second one came out in the trilogy? And it's a battle between him and George R.R. Martin for who will write their next book last. I feel for fiction writers who've got to try and bring a story into land.

57:50This is going to get canonized. It's going to be turned into a movie. You're like, oh, fuck. Anyway, that's what I think it's going to happen. Ah, Castle. Would the geopolitical climate be different if Harambe was still alive? Dude. Yes. Yes. Bring back Harambe, man. Ben Lam that's bringing back the woolly mammoth and the saber-toothed tiger and the dodo bird at Colossus, Colossal, the bioengineering genetics thing. The first animal that should be brought back is not the woolly mammoth. It's Harambe. I genuinely feel like he was the hero that we needed not the one that we wanted and the Middle East is 100 % fixed with Harambe I think Russia is a little bit less likely to be fixed I don't think that Russians would have listened to Harambe in the same way that the Middle Eastans would have done but still, as an ambassador to the UN as a consummate professional and as the voice of a generation I think Harambe is I miss him I miss him Jake C.

59:02Winter what are the tops and sides numbers for the buzz so I'm growing this back I'm going to put this as a time capsule I'm cementing this when my hair is another inch long and the comments of what the fuck is happening with that perm come in this is my hair after not being cut for two, three months on the top and the back. It's not a perm, okay? It's not, this is what my hair does when it grows. That's my first thing. When I have got the buzz, it is two, two and a half. Two on the sides, two and a half on the top, like moderate fade here on like on the sides on the upsides that's it it's simple now the problem with two two and a half is that you need to go back to keep it neat you need to go back probably every two and a half weeks at least at the pace that my hair grows three weeks starting to look messy three and a half weeks you're like fucking hell and then by four for me my hair doesn't get longer, you might have curly hair too, Jake.

1:00:12My hair gets bigger. It's like an expanding planet or something. My hair doesn't get longer, it gets bigger. And that means that leaving it too long doesn't make it look all tousley and he's so cool and sexy. It looks like I don't care about myself a lot. So two, two and a half, I would go one and a half, two, if you want a bit more longevity in it. And that'll probably get you to three weeks. But that's it. That's how it is. James J19, are we going to get an in-depth tour of the new studio? I know, I know I should do it. I should just film something. I have this thing where I want it to be perfect.

1:00:52I want the studio to be perfect and the tree that's behind me, you might not be able to tell it's a tree, but we got this custom tree from Singapore, like custom designed and it had these shelves on. It was the perfect size to fit in the arch behind me. in the studio and that, that hadn't arrived and there was just a normal set of shelves. And then we got that in and then we made some other changes and now we've got more light tubes coming in. So a couple more manipulations can happen. I'm like, I just wanted to do it once it was perfect. And then I wanted to get the, I wanted to record it and explain everything and go in, you know, the whole studio is so high tech and we've got loads of cool shit that we've done.

1:01:28And I, I, I just didn't get around to it. And also I've been trying to rip the show too like bringing on these episodes these multi-guest episodes are really hard to do like thinking about playing calendar tetris with one in-demand person try and multiply that by two more it's so hard and mine it's so hard um but yes in-depth studio tour will come at some point once we get the final final little touches in and it'll be there and i'm sorry that I haven't done it. Sweet Chungus, do you ever worry that within the self-help space, you've already covered the 80-20 of what really matters and you now risk drifting into productive procrastination, searching for some hidden insight that doesn't actually exist.

1:02:15And the more you try to improve or keep learning, the more it just circles back to your mantra, just do the thing. Dude, I think this is touching on what I was saying at the very start, which is there is a degree of grind slop exhaustion on the internet at the moment. And go back to the first 400 episodes I did on the show, David Allen, who created the most legendary productivity process of all time, GTD, right? Getting things done. Peter C. Brown, the guy that wrote the book Make It Stick, talking about the Ebbinghaus forgetting curve and spaced repetition and flashcards for memory. Like so much of the low hanging fruit, the important stuff was recorded on this podcast before anybody listened, before anyone listened.

1:03:07I think 350 episodes in, we had a hundred K subs, 450, we had 250. And now it's another what? 700 episodes. so we were 30 % of the way to where we are now and we had done less than 10 % of the subs that we were ever going to do overall it's like what I'm trying to do I'm trying to make this as fun as possible I'm trying to make it engaging I'm not trying to repeat myself I don't want to have the same guest on or the same topic talked about like how many times do we need to do an episode about the optimal cold, dark, quiet approach for your bedroom. How many times do we need to talk about don't do caffeine after 6 p.m.?

1:04:02It's just, I'm conscious of this and I'm purposefully trying to find people who are new and interesting. Dude, we did two hours on the life of Julius Caesar. Nothing to take away from that. No, you don't need no notes. There wasn't a morning routine that you could have taken away from Julius Caesar. Just sit back and enjoy. Interesting. Learning, but in entertainment, just chill. Enjoy that. And that's the vibe that I'm feeling at the moment. I'm still trying to make progress. I'm still big on the emotions thing, the tapping in, the understanding yourself stuff. But yeah, productive procrastination is real.

1:04:45There is an answer out there. that something new is what's most important as opposed to just drilling the basics. That being said, given that so much of the stuff that I said on the pod that was really, really important and informative to me was basically before anybody listened, maybe I do need to actually run some of that stuff back. It's going to be really hard to bring David Allen back on again eight years after I had him for the first time and just do the same episode. but given that no one was listening back then and lots of people listen now, I don't know, maybe that is something that I need to do to revisit it.

1:05:23All I'm trying to do is follow my instincts with the show. My instincts at the moment are telling me, have fun, hang with the guys, talk about stuff that's interesting. Don't fall into politics slop, just reaction content, adversarial, like online argument bullshit. Don't try to find something that's novel simply for the sake of it being novel. And so that there is a degree of, oh, this is new, the strategy that you don't understand, unless it genuinely warrants that. And maybe we need to redrill the basics. Maybe I need to do that. I mean, it's chronically unsexy to do it. It's incredibly unattractive and does risk you being accused of, we've heard this before.

1:06:07It's like, well, if you've heard it before, why aren't you implementing it? If you've heard everything about sleep, why does your sleep still suck? If you already know the 80-20, if I've covered the 80-20, I've covered the 100-0, why does your sleep still suck? Well, it's because you're not doing it. And maybe you need to be reminded of it more. Or maybe I need to do recap episodes. I don't know. I understand what you mean. And I'm actively trying to avoid adding unnecessarily to grind slop and creating this sense of people don't feel enough. The only way that I can be enough is if I'm permanently pushing myself nose to the grindstone as hard as possible and optimizing areas of my life that don't matter that much.

1:06:45Trying to contribute, trying to give people a varied diet when it comes to this. And you know, if I want to go back over old stuff, I will do. And if I want to try and have somebody on to discuss something, cause I've kind of forgotten my sleep started to suck a little bit. And I'm like, okay, fuck it. Matt Walker, spin you back up. Let's do the greatest hits. Maybe I'll do that too. But I'm conscious of what you're saying. And it's an accurate insight. I'm, I'm, I'm with you. I'm with you. Jared, you ever considered that you might have a drinking problem? I don't consider a lot, Chris. Well, you drank an entire case of Athletic Brewing Co last night.

1:07:19But they're non-alcoholic. And that's not a problem? Sorry, man. I just kept chugging away for the regret to creep in. Never happened. See, most people, like Jared, don't want to change what they drink. They just don't want the next day to be a complete write-off. And that is why I'm such a huge fan of Athletic Brewing Co. They make the best NA brews on the planet.

1:07:44You can find Athletic Brewing Co.'s best-selling lineup at grocery or liquor stores near you, or, best option, get a full variety pack of four flavors shipped direct to your door. Right now, get 15 % off your first online order by going to the link in the description below or heading to athleticbrewing.com slash modernwisdom and using the code modernwisdom at checkout. That's athleticbrewing.com slash modernwisdom at modernwisdom at checkout. Near beer, terms and conditions apply. Athletic brewing company, fit for all times. Bottoms up.

1:08:17Jay Clemo. Dude, love your work. Thank you. I've been a listener since 2020. I have one pretty important question that you are well qualified to answer. Would bringing back carnage traffic light parties solve the declining birth rate?

1:08:33i mean it's got a shot it's got a shot because we've tried we tried everything uh hungry taxes for mothers i could be tax tax breaks for mothers that that didn't work

1:08:52i think it's got a shot look for the people that don't know carnage was a t-shirt bar crawl that i ran for a long time it's the first franchise that i owned in the UK when I was running nightclubs, and you wear a sticker, green sticker on you means good to go. Orange sticker means thinking about it, not sure. And a red sticker means I'm taken. Right? So like single, considering it taken. And it just meant that you didn't ever go up to somebody that didn't want to have someone go up to them. Like you could even put a red one on you. and I just don't want to hook up tonight or whatever. It's going to require an awful lot of people to do Carnage Traffic Light Party.

1:09:33I mean, we did lots. Those bar crawls were huge, like thousands and thousands of people per night. To make a dent in the birth rate, we might need to scale it up, but I'm prepared to go back. If that fixes the birth rate, I'm prepared to go back into the world of Nightlife Promo. That being said, would be cancelled within days. Within days, if the sort of shit that used to happen on Carnage was to happen again. Now, with camera phones, it would not last two seconds, but it's a good idea.

1:10:07Eric Pzafi won. Best books that one must read. Dude, I have two reading lists of 100 books and it pops up two minutes into every single episode on YouTube in the top corner and it's in the show notes of every episode, and I talk about it on my story, and it's my only link in bio on Instagram, please go and download the list of 100 books that you should read before you die and 100 more books that you should read before you die. chriswillx.com slash books and chriswillx.com slash more books. There's five at the top of each that are like, oh, those are the must reads. You have to read these. And then there's 95 more that are cool.

1:10:44And some of them are fiction and some of them are nonfiction, real life stories. And I've written descriptions about why I like them and links to go and buy them. And it's available online. And I can't believe that you've managed to slalom through my content and miss it. That's a me problem. I obviously need to work harder at shoving this down your throats. So there you go, Chris Williamson, no, chriswillx.com slash books.

1:11:11Mhala78, I would love to hear your thoughts on alcohol. I see in your latest video that alcohol is a part of your life. In the past, you've been a strong advocate of the benefits of not drinking. That's true. Yes. I went sober for a good while. I did a thousand days sober. I did a bunch of six months sobers starting about a decade ago. It doesn't sound very revolutionary now, but back in the day when I did that as a nightclub promoter in his twenties, that was fucking unheard of, right? Especially being in Newcastle, which is kind of the capital of drinking in the UK. And it was really beneficial.

1:11:49And I made a lot of progress. And then I did a video about what I learned from a thousand days not drinking. And it was super helpful. That being said, anybody who says the alcohol can't make a night out better hasn't had a good enough night out. Like it absolutely can improve your experience. The problem I had was when it felt like I was obliged to do it or like I couldn't have a good night if I didn't do it. And I didn't like that. I didn't like being at the mercy of some... That's the same reason I did a thousand days... Sorry, I did 500 days without caffeine because I didn't like the idea that I didn't have control over my energy levels without needing to artificially inseminate it with something else.

1:12:40and I was on tour, right, around Australia, New Zealand and Bali. I'm going to have a beer. I'm going to have two beers after I finish. I'm going to have a Corona. I'm going to celebrate with the guys. I was in Nashville for the 4th of July, two years ago, like 100 ,000 people on Broadway. The whole street's closed down. There's a drone show and fireworks and an orchestral band playing. I'm going to have a beer. You can make a night out better like that. The problem is when you don't have control over it. And it wasn't even I didn't have control. I did have control. I just knew that it was limiting the progress that I was making because I was hanging out of my ass once every two weeks.

1:13:15And that would mean that my diet got reset and I wasn't training for, you know, three days, slowly get back up, fourth day training session kind of sucks. And then maybe I'll do some meditation, I'll journal and then I'm back up to speed. And just as I'm back up to speed, I reset back to the baseline. So a lot of people, the progress that you're looking for is at the bottom of the glass that you're drinking.

1:13:41It's not a part of my life. I think I drank 10 times, 20 times last year. I'll have drank 20 times so far this year and we're halfway through the year and it's two beers. I'm still a strong advocate of the benefits of not drinking, but I'm not like an absolutist on it either. Paul Bishop 5999. What happened to the merch? right here. Look at this. This.

1:14:12We've got a lot of new designs. Interestingly, Sleep Token is a band. They wear masks. Pseudonymous, anonymous, people supposedly don't know who they are. Quite hard to work out who it is. Their designer for the merch, which is awesome, significantly easier to work out who it is.

1:14:31So I'm very obsessed about everything. Comte, met-met variant. But I'm particularly obsessive about the merch because mailing it in and doing shitty merch to me is a real touchpoint between what I've built with Modern Wisdom, which has taken over eight years and a thousand episodes, and you guys. And if you get a piece of merch that falls apart after a few washes or that's got shit print quality or that isn't a cool design or is a bad fit, that is that tarnishes your relationship with me and your interpretation of the brand so much i just i it really makes me feel quite ill to think about that so i spent a long time working on the designs we're actually changing the blanks from the first release which were great and everybody loved but we were using comfort colors cc 17 17s and now we're moving to the as color stencil minus twos.

1:15:33And the reason for that is I wanted a slightly deeper black. Like this is sort of brushed, which always gives it a bit of a weathered feel, which is nice. And it's a tiny bit oversized, which I also like, but I actually wanted something that's just a little bit more fitted. So it's a bit more flattering on the arms and is a deeper black because I think it's going to let the designs pop a bit more. So this is actually on the comfort colors. And then we're going to, we've got the final samples coming back on the AS colors. The stencil minus two is important because AS color for me fits too long.

1:16:04And for most people, I think it fits too long. So we've got like limited the colors and like so much shit that I'm just so many hoops I'm jumping through rounds and rounds and rounds of amends, but we've got the next two drops done. So once we've got this locked in, we won't need to wait. The first one was in November or October or November. And then this one is going to be in fucking June or something. So I get it. It's frustrating. I wanted the merch out sooner, but the only reason that we're waiting is because I want it to be perfect. And I hope that that comes across and I'm trying hard and I'm working hard.

1:16:42So that's it. Bobzilla 2006. Would you ever consider doing more episodes related to astronomy and physics? I really enjoy the episode you did with Professor David Kipping and would love to see him come onto the show again, as well as other guests within that area of study. Love the show and congrats on 4.2 million. Thank you very much. I love astronomy and physics. I dumped some nerd astronomy knowledge on George on one of our most recent episodes. No idea if it's true, but I think I was right with it. I'm trying to do this Neil deGrasse roundtable, which makes me so excited. the prospect of Neil deGrasse Tyson and Mark Normand in the same room is, it's wonderful.

1:17:27I spoke to David a couple of weeks ago. I texted him after the Artemis thing, because I knew he was involved in something behind the scenes and congratulated him. That was cool. I want to bring him on. I am not sure who's good in the world of physics and astronomy at the moments. Sabina Hossenfeld has been on twice. Michio Kaku came on. I wasn't impressed with that episode particularly. Who else? Obviously, Eric Weinstein, but it's not just going to be astronomy physics. I don't know. I don't know who's cool in the up and coming communication space. So if you've got suggestions, throw them in the comments.

1:18:02I'll check them out. I love that. Space and astronomy is a huge part of my love for learning. So I'm down, I'm down. Christoph8188, ask before, we'll ask again. I like it. Can we get a two to three monthly Q &A instead, not linked to subs? Yeah, I understand. Unpredictability is frustrating. Also, sometimes I hit the subs number and I can't get around to recording because of the schedule. I mean, this one is going out. I don't know what the number of subs is, but it's probably closer to 2.3 than 4.2. Sorry, I understand if we just did them regularly, that would be easier. Yes, maybe that would be nice.

1:18:54I just, it's been what we've always done. I was doing it every 10 ,000, then every 50 ,000, then every hundred thousand uh alternatively if you want them more frequently just get your friends to subscribe get your friend make sure that you're subscribed and you'll get them more quickly grab your girlfriend's phone quickly subscribe that's for me that seems like the the easiest solution i will try and speed them up i want to do more solo stuff uh i've got this beautiful new studio i might as well stand in it and talk about stuff so i'll try and i'll try and make it happen more quickly. I promise.

1:19:28Peyton Bilodo, Lonely chapter until financial freedom or some large level of success or semi-lonely chapter with some drinking and maybe a goal to enjoy my youth. Is it simply a matter of going pro and reaping pro-level results or semi-pro and being content with semi-pro results yet actually doing things outside of the pro-level activity. Hope that makes sense. Cheers.

1:19:57If you haven't listened to this podcast much, that sentence sounds like the ravings of an insane person. Like that is, I understand what you mean. And I'm just going to assume that everyone who's listening understands what you mean. But that is the most modern wisdom-pilled sentence that I've ever read. So congratulations. You get question of the video. I'll start doing that now. Well, I'll have a question of the episode, and that is question of the episode, because it is so deeply entrenched in the law of modern wisdom. Lonely chapter until financial freedom or some large level of success. So do you want to lock in until you've basically reached escape velocity with success and or financial freedom or go focused on work with a little bit of time off to enjoy drinking and maybe a girl to have some fun in your youth?

1:20:58Do you go pro and get the pro results quickly or semi pro and be content with getting fewer results, but actually enjoying stuff? Depends on your age, dude. If you're 19, I don't think that locking in super aggressively is where you need to be. I think that having some fun is perfectly acceptable. I think as you start to get, look at me, like just creating arbitrary rules about the age that you need to begin to do stuff at. You can do stuff whenever you want, but at least if I was to create a prescription, if I was gun to my head, you have to create one. I think up to about the age of 24, 25, you're probably not going to see much divergence between you and your friends based on how much you've locked in, but you will look back and have a big difference on how much fun you had, especially if you're already talking about you're going semi pro or semi lonely chapter stuff like locking in quite a bit, but also giving yourself a bit of a break.

1:21:51I think that's good. Then contrarian opinion. I think that you can really fucking grind it 26, 27 through mid thirties. That is a good period. That is a great period. You've got past the issues of low respect because you're a young guy. So the world's not really going to listen to you as much as it will do when you're a little bit older and you've got a bit of momentum and you've got some experience so you can fully lock like really really capitalize on it and use some leverage if i was you i would try and follow something like that um but there needs to be a period of real monk moding in my experience i don't think you can always semi-pro it there's a period where you need to go pro because otherwise you're going to be beaten by people who are prepared to GoPro.

1:22:36And it doesn't, it's not about being better than other people or whatever. But if you want to, if you want to reach some degree of escape velocity with success or financial freedom, which are the two things that you brought up, I think that you need to have, you need to have a period where you're very obsessive and really, really locked in. Pick when you want to do it. My advice would be to go mid late twenties through early thirties. That worked really well for me. and other than that, have some fun. That's my thinking. Peter Fisk 6598, will you be chatting to Finn and Horatio again? I hope so.

1:23:17They're definitely not both going to be leaving the UK at the same time and I'm kind of locked in here. However, I've got the tour around the UK and Ireland in October and I'll probably try and bring them on then, which would be fun because I'll be in London. I'll have some time off around about that. We had Vittoria on who's one of the writers of internet and has been on history a bunch. And that was fun. He was out here recording, doing live tour, doing his standup. I love Finn Horatio. I think Finn versus history is one of the best podcasts on the internet at the moment. I think it's kind of quintessentially British.

1:23:53I wonder how much it's broken through into America. I would imagine only a little, but I might be wrong. They're great. I think they're ascendant and I'm really happy to have been a part of that journey for them or whatever for me. It's fun to see those guys unfold everything. The episode we did of Finn vs. the Internet, I think it's the most played one that they've ever done and it was deranged. It was like fucking an out-of-body experience to do, but also a lot of fun and I learned tons seeing those guys operate and they just enjoy, they're having a good time. They're having a good time. And that's what I'm trying to do.

1:24:37We're having, we're trying to have a good time on the show and, uh, I support them and I'll be bringing them back on as soon as I can. An American Jedi. Chris, when the heck are you getting a dog? I just, this is part of Big Golden trying to, this is the multi-pronged assault of Big Golden convincing me to buy a dog. I want a fucking dog, okay? I want a dog. I'm clamoring. I'm clucking. I don't know whether the Americans will get that reference, like clucking for it. I'm sorry, I haven't got one yet. I will do soon, and he or she will live in the studio with me and be a regular feature. There can be a raised dog bed behind me during the episodes and it will light it perfectly.

1:25:29It's this beautiful golden glow behind, you know, the 4K camera zoomed in on the fur. You are going to be so fucking sick of me talking about my dog. The fact that you're trying to get me to speedrun getting the dog, I can guarantee you that you are going to be so pissed at the fact I won't shut up about it once I've got it. Enjoy this time. Enjoy pre-dog Chris. Also enjoy pre-kids Chris, right? Because once I'm in on that, you had better be ready for two years of child rearing pediatrics episodes. Okay. I just, we're in the before times, right? BD, before dog, big dick.

1:26:13uh all right i'm gonna leave it there i love you all thank you so much for supporting me uh it means an awful lot don't forget to subscribe apple podcasts spotify youtube chriswilliamson.live to come and see me on tour in australia no in the uk and ireland toward the back end of this year newtonic.com slash modern wisdom if you want to check out some of this stuff and chriswillx.com slash books if you want to get a list of books i appreciate you thank you for supporting me. I'll see you next time. See ya!

1:27:06books. That's chriswillx.com slash books.