#869 - Dry Creek Dewayne - Life Lessons From A Modern Cowboy

29:50So I was riding for an outfit in Alaska, guidance, and they brought in a mayor. And she was a retired, the best I could understand, she was a retired barrel racing horse from here in Texas. And so when I signed on, they assigned her to me because nobody else, we couldn't put guests on her, none of the other rangers wanted to ride her because her her go -to was run. If something disturbed her her head came up and it's run, just run. That's my answer to escape to just run. And it wasn't something that I could physically fight and stop. And so that horse really made me step outside of the thought process of physically controlling something that has a mental emotional issue and getting in her head and figuring out what can I do if the problem is mentally or emotionally what can I do to get into her head and get into her emotions and fix that for her.

31:04And so what I did, and it's so simple, it probably wouldn't even make sense to a lot of folks. But while we were sitting there and while she was calm, sitting there at the ranch, waiting for others to get on the horses, I would just come in with the lightest little pressure and get her to Tipper Nose. Not pull her nose and just give a signal, hey, Tipper Nose, so she'd Tipper Nose. And we just do that and just do that. And then when we get out on the trail and she started getting anxious about something and her head would come up, I would just default to that. And so she would find something that she was secure, the signal, and it would, she would calm down and she would calm down.

31:42And working with that mayor for the summer, I made huge strides with myself in stepping outside of the norm of trying to physically control something that isn't ideal. Yeah, I mentioned that I had a ridden a horse for the first time in Texas and they gave me whatever the leader of the group is for the horse, whatever that's called. And I was right far at the back. Yeah. And this horse was eating and the lady that was guiding the group said, just give me a little pole. It'll come along. I gave him a little pole. He didn't move. I mean, it is absurd to explain how strong these things things next are.

32:26And I'm like, I don't think he doesn't want, doesn't want to come. She's like, no, just take a little bit more, a little bit more. I'm like a, I'm a pretty strong guy. So I was like, right, okay, I'll give it a big pole. Didn't move. I'm like, and by this time, they're 100 yards away. Yeah. I'm like, still, it doesn't want to, doesn't seem like you want, you said, no, like a really big pole. So I went mixed grip. Like, you do on a deadlift. Yeah. Set my feet into the stirrups and like, like one rep max this horse his head up and finally he got up and that was absolutely not the most efficient way to get him to do that thing.

33:00That would have been a much better way than me. Right. Well, so your average horse, your average quarter horse size horse, you know, is going to weigh between 800 and 11 hundred pounds. Okay. Now what I teach folks is I don't want his body. Okay. I want his mind. Now, if I physically, like you just went through, if I physically get his body to do what I want, but I don't have his mind, so as he gets a chance, he's going to go back again. But if I ignore the body and I get the mind, if I have the mind, I have the body. So in a situation like that, what I do is I don't pull his head up. Okay, I take the reins and I bounce that bit that's in its mouth.

33:46I bounce it pretty sharp. And he decides in his mind, I don't like that. I think I will, I think I will pick my head up. And it's like, I'm not going to pick your head up. That's what you have a neck for. Okay. You have that neck. That's what it's for. I'm not picking your head up. I'm going to suggest to you that you decided it's in your best interest for you to pick your head up. and we go for the mind. And how much in life, you know, you've got all these folks working for you here and you have to, you can't physically browbeat and nag and try, you've tried, does it work? No, no, no, no. The belligerence, I've already heard stories.

34:33They just, yeah, they're abused. Yeah. But you wanna make things so that they decide that if this is what Chris once done, it's in my best interest, I wanna go do that. And again, it's communication, you know, and again, it's getting in the horse's mind and working with the horse in that manner. I'll give you an illustration if I can, all right? One of the cardinal sins in my book is when I go to get on a horse and the horse walks off when I'm part way up, you know, I'm stepping up. I swing in my leg over and he's walking, he's leaving, okay. That's a cardinal sin. So we have a difference of opinion here, me and the horse.

35:13It's like I want you to plant your feet. And I want you to be still while I get on and then I'll tell you when I want you to go. He says, well, I want to go. So I'm not going to sit there and take pullback and say, whoa and do that one leg at hop along Cassidy down while I'm trying to get inside. I'm not going to do that. I'm not going to physically hold him back. I'm going to put my toe in the sturt, but I'm going to step up and when he walks off, I'm gonna step back out and I'm gonna make him keep walking in a circle around me eight or 10 times. I'm like, I wanted you to stand still, but you want to walk.

35:49I tell you what, I'm a nice guy. I'm gonna let you walk. I'm gonna let you do what you want. In a controlled manner, you pick the tune and I'll pick the dance and I'll make him walk around. He's like, I don't, I don't want to walk anymore, but you said that's what you wanted. So I'm letting you do what you want. He's like, I don't want to walk anymore. Okay, stop. Well, I want you to stand here while I get in the saddle And he says and it may take a couple of times better while he says, you know what? I think what I want to do is I want to stand here while he gets in the saddle You know, so we communicate and when I got his mind when I changed his want to I Didn't have to fight with his body And so that's just that's how that's how you approach it.

36:34You understand and you communicate. I've heard you say that sometimes you have to apologize to the host for being an idiot. Yes. How do you apologize to a host? They don't care. I apologize to the horse for my sake. I mean, the horse, nothing the horse does is personal. All right. The horse will buck you off. They won't come back and apologize to you. They did what they did because that's what they felt was necessary at the time. And so they don't operate on that wavelength. But there's times when I do something and it turns out I'm like, that was my fault and that was stupid. You know, the horse doesn't take it personally either.

37:13And I can apologize to the horse and the horse. It just isn't in his thing. But I apologize to the horse to humble myself and to bring myself down and to say, look, You need to pay attention to dummy and not do that again. Give the horse doesn't really. He doesn't want an apology. He just doesn't want you to do it again. Sounds like you've learned a lot to do with patience and humility through this. Yeah. And you know part of it is when you're young, you can pick a fight and you can win some of them. And when you're older and you're busted up, I got plates and screws in my neck and I got joints you're out of shape and stuff, you're not going to win that fight anyhow, not physically anymore.

37:59And so that's where you start saying, you know what, I need to approach this in a better way. Plates and screws in the neck. But I've heard you say that not most of those were actually from wholesome accidents, but you were in a plane crash, a car crash, and you rolled a motor home off Hell I was a passenger off a mountain in Alaska. I need to hear those stories, please Wait, I spent a winner in Fort Yukon, which is above the Arctic Circle in Alaska staying with a fella and Had a little 180 a little sus to 180 bush. I think it was 180 and we were flying out and They were dead a winner. It was like 30 below zero And in the back of that plane, we had like a hundred pound propane tank, a transmission out of a van, some spare tires, and so we're flying back south to Fairbanks, and when we landed in, as we're touching down in Fairbanks, we had a crosswind, and so you kind of tilt the plane as you're landed into that crosswind, and so as we touch down, and I'm setting up on the Copilot on passenger side.

39:14I see the landing gear go wrong the wheel and everything go rolling off across the tundra And so I reach over and I'm like Hey Is that supposed to and then that? Struck came down and hit and we flipped in ground looped and and carried on on the runway with all of this washing machines All in the back. I think think think think think that there's a transmission out of a out of half -tun Chevy van and a hundred pound bottle propane bottle and just flying around. Yeah, he didn't hit us, which is good. But we stood out on that, of course, I was wearing cowboy boots. So we're standing out on the runway in Fairbanks waiting for FAA to come out.

39:53And it's 30 below zero. And they come out in the spec, and then we picked up the wing, a bunch of us, and pushed the plane off the runways. And then I had to catch two more flights that day to get back home. So yeah, what about the motorhome? Motorhome I was a passenger in the back and we were coming down narrow road off the mountain and

40:16The lady that was driving there were a couple of teenagers in the seat Right here and they were fussing in Bickering and so she turned around to tell them stop fussing hey y 'all stop fussing They just drove right off So we went down I don't know how far down we went but we slid down and hit and landed up against a bunch of trees No rolling no it didn't roll okay, no Yeah. So, you just just life and then you know a lot of bucked off, been bucked off a lot. Just some bruises and yeah, I'm fractures and vases. Landing in places and so it's just, it was accumulation of life and then I was in, I was in the police academy and we were studying Brazil and Jiu -Jitsu and I was doing a backwards tactical role and something popped in my net and I didn't say anything.

41:07And so then we went on a big run and this run was pretty. We'd run for about a mile and then we'd stop and drop and do burpees and bicycles and then jump up and run some more. And by the time we got back to academy my heart rate wouldn't go down. And then I had this weird feeling of like an electrical net in my body and my heart rate would not go down. So finally, they put me in the ambulance and took me to the hospital. And I was like, that far away from severing my spinal cord. And it was already bad, way worse than I had no idea. And that tactical, backwards tactical role had just had just brought it to the edge.

41:51So maybe an odd blessing in some ways that it warned you and that didn't occur when you got bucked off a horse. Right, right, and I don't ride bucking horses anymore. I mean, I say that You never know a horse is always a horse is a horse, but after so many years I can pretty well tell When one is a little hanky and I'm like, I don't have anything to prove anymore I'm not riding that horse. If you haven't been feeling a shop or as energized as you'd like getting a blood work done is the the best place to start. Which is why I partnered with Function. They run lab tests twice a year that monitor over 100 biomarkers.

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42:57Getting your blood work analyzed like this would usually cost thousands, but with function it is only $500. Function has a 300 ,000 -person weight list. Boo, but every Monday they open up a few spots for modern wisdom listeners. Yeah, right now you can get the exact same panels I get by going to the link in the description below or heading to functionhealth .com slash modern wisdom. That's function health .com slash modern wisdom. You talk a lot about balance, the dangers of being out of balance. Right. Explain that to me. Well,

43:29let's take let's let's take any air. Okay, raising children. All right. I like to say that raising children is like holding a wet bar so if you squeeze it too tight, squeeze the out of squirts out your hands. If you don't hold it tight enough, it slides out of your hands. You know, raising children, you got to be balanced. There has to be discipline. We as human beings need discipline in our life, but there has to be love and grace and understanding. And so a lot of children who grow up with issues from being raised, you know, those issues are because their parents are out of balance one way or another.

44:06Marriage, you've got problems in your marriage. It's usually somebody's out of balance. You know, whether they're too distant or they're too clingy, you know, they're too demanding or they're too permissive. They don't have personal boundaries. It's just out of balance. I think, oh heck, I'm gonna do it. What they gonna do to me? Okay. I don't like the trend in this circle, men's motivation circle. I don't like the hustle culture as is being brought out and taught today. I don't agree with it because I think it's out of balance. I think young men need to know that hey, it's okay for you to sit down and to read and have a cigar and a chill and to think because I guarantee if you're in the weight room, pumping out all these reps and running on the machine and then you're going into the cubicle and you're flip open a computer and you're not thinking.

45:10You're learning, you're taking in, but you're not meditating on stuff, and you're not thinking. But that can be taken so far that young men are made to feel guilty for just setting down and thinking and relaxing. And I understand that there was a tendency in this country. We had a lot of young men that were not raised with dads. They weren't raised to work, you know, and so it's setting on the couch playing the stupid X -Box, you know, not growing up learning to work. So that pendulum went too far this way. So now you've got guys who, in order to counteract that, they swung the pendulum too far this way.

45:55And a balanced man needs to be somewhere in the middle. he needs to be able to work to do what needs to be done to improve himself. And he also needs to set around by the fire in the backyard and have a cigar and read some Kipling and just stay balanced. There needs to be balance. I wrote an essay about that this week. Did you? Would you mind if I read it to you? Absolutely not. I think type A people have a type B problem and type B people have a type A problem. Insecure overachievers need to learn how to chill out and relax and lazy people need to learn how to work hard and be disciplined. Given that you subscribe to me, I'm going to guess you're probably type A, some version of a walking anxiety disorder harnessed for productivity as Andrew Wilkinson says.

46:44Here's the thing you may have already realized, type A people with a type B problem get very little sympathy because a miserable but outwardly successful person always appears to be in a much more preferential position than the content being lazy but on the verge of being bankrupt person. The problems of opportunity will always get less sympathy than ones of scarcity. One feels like a choice, the other like a limitation. One is a bourgeois luxury, the other is systemic imposition. I need someone to teach me how to be disciplined and work harder, feels noble and upward aiming and charitable. I need someone to teach me how to switch off and relax, feels dopaminergic and addicted and transactional and opulent.

47:23And every underdog movie ever has a training montage of someone working their life out by working harder. Non included a guy learning how to log out of Slack at 6pm or finally enjoy a beach holiday. So yes, Taipei people may have objectively better lives, but subjectively, that ravaged by the sense that they've never done enough. They wake up every morning feeling as if they've already fallen behind, and only if they dominate their entire day flawlessly will they have dragged themselves back up to some minimum level of acceptable output, which means they can go to sleep that night without feeling like they've wasted it.

47:57Congratulations, you might be very successful, but you might also be very miserable. Just work harder, bro, advice. Reliably makes everyone more successful in the only way that they can be judged. Outwardly, there are very few issues in life which can't be solved by just working harder, so everybody treats it like a panacea, not a purpose -built tool. And on average, Maybe more people do need to hear David Goggins shouting in their face to go harder, rather than Eckhart Tulley whispering in their ear that they are already enough. But for a certain, perhaps minority cohort of people, they actually need to hear the opposite message.

48:31We need a parasympathetic Goggins, who's going to carry the TV remote and the cigars. Hashtag rest harder than me. Type B problems are just as tough as type A ones, but they require a much less sexy solution, peace. One that you can't achieve by just working harder. I agree 100%. I have guys come into the school and they're like they're just... I'm like, I don't say anything. It's not my business, but like you're going to die young. Tightly wound? Just tightly wound and it's never enough. It's never enough. My mind, when is it enough? What is enough? You know, I've been thinking last couple weeks, I'm like, you know what I'm saying is, just keep the main thing, the main thing.

49:16But I think where we crash and burn is how we define the main thing. You know, and it's, I see myself in a very small tiny way, inventism away. I see myself as the anti -David Guggins. I see myself as a guy. It's like, there's places where his message is needed. I'm not knocking the guy. Okay, there are places where his message is needed, but his message Is not needed for everybody Okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna probably step over line here and you can edit out anything you want all right I'm really bothered by these guys who are financial gurus who will fire you if you don't have a six pack There's a problem There's a main thing, staying the main thing problem with that viewpoint on life.

50:17And I want to see, I want to see men that I'm for whatever reason, what everybody brought in to influence. I want to see them find balance. I don't want to see them find money. I don't want to see them find six packs. If that is part of the result of it, fine. Okay. But I want them to find balance and I want them to find that place inside where they're like, my main thing is my main thing and it's enough. I've heard you say that a good man is born to serve, not born to make money. money. Absolutely. What's that mean to you? Well, if I make money and I've heard all excuses because there's guys who have a problem with me saying that.

51:11All right. But if I make money, I make money for me. Now, I've got, you know, my wife definitely benefits from it. And, you know, my children, although they're grown, they benefit from it. But ultimately in the end, if I pour all my life into making money, that's for me. But if I pour my life into as many people as is fitting, and I don't know, their life is better for me having come through. I ultimately I want and I'll never know in some tiny way I would what means most to me is that when you leave here today in some small way your life is better for us haven't sat down and talked. That means that means more.

52:07And so we're you know I think we are I think a real man is born to serve and serve means provide for those that are in your sphere of view to provide for. It means to protect. It means to encourage. It means to teach and to train. And sometimes it means to step back and let them hit the wall. Sometimes the best service you can do for somebody is to when it's all done walk up and look down and say, did that hurt? You know, that's what they need it. But we won't do that because it makes us look bad. And even in our service to others, we do it for ulterior your motives, you know? But yes, I believe that very strongly.

52:50I believe, I believe if you spend your whole life to yourself, for yourself, you have no purpose of being here. This planet is not in any way better for you having been here. Is that what a good man is to see you? That's what a good man is to me. When my wife and I, and we've moved, we've lived all over, but it's been a thing of ours. When we leave, we try to leave the house in some way better than when we found it. And that's how I approach life. Is like when people come across my path, I try to leave their life a little better than when I found it. And you know what, that may be just looking at that poor tired lady checking out at Walmart with the sore feet and the glazed over eyes and looking around and say, how are you doing today?

53:46It don't take much, you know, but it's like I guarantee in some small way her life was a little better when I passed through that Walmart line than it was before I got there. And yeah, I think that's a good man. A good Good man is a man who can protect and who can provide and who can serve, who can comfort, who can reprimand, who can discipline, whatever is necessary to make the world a little better because he passed through. We'll get back to talking to Dwayne in one minute, but first I need to tell you about element. For the last three years, I have started my morning every single day with element.

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55:02That's how confident they are that you love it. Right now, you can try it completely risk -free and get a free sample pack of all eight flavors by going to the link in the description below or heading to drinklmnt .com slash modern wisdom. That's drinklmnt .com slash modern wisdom. What do you think about the balance when it comes for men between strength and softness, sort of rationality, emotionality, rigidity, vulnerability? I think that's a balance that a lot of men struggle with. I still think that the conversation around emotions, around being open, whether it's with your friends or a partner or even yourself.

55:43I mean, you literally denied yourself going to the doctor for a heart attack. Like the male ability to deny that things are wrong, whether they're physical or emotional, is like a reality distorting power that we all have. How do you come to think about that balance between the hardness and the softness in men? I'm still old school. I'm still very old school. Now, there comes a point where it can be debilitating to those around me. Okay. If I bottle everything up inside so that I get to the point that I am toxic or debilitating to those around me, then I need to get some help. But as long as I'm not, I don't need to add more burden for them to carry.

56:42That's just me. Can you be a bit more specific about what that is, how that shows up for you?

56:53Um...

57:00My my wife has has been encouraging me for a while now for me to go and talk to somebody just there's years and years and years of I mean there were a lot of rough years there. But I'm like I can't I can't do that you know I mean the guy I know the guy gets paid to sit there and but it's not it's just not necessary you know I'm still of you know I'm still old enough and I'm of the I'm of the school it's like just just deal with it suck it up suck it up you know I broke three ribs one time in a barn Sattling horses, horse to a fit, took eight aspirin and got on that horse and did a four -hour ride because I had a job to do.

57:58It's my job. Now I know let's go back to balance. Okay, I was about to mention that. I understand. I'm with you 100 % but at the same time your balance and my balance and his balance are different. And so I think I think a man has to find his own balance.

58:27And the and you're going to get so many messages on your disagree with this. But I think that this thought of men's mental health, emotional health, go get help, go, I'm not saying it's bad, I'm not saying it's wrong, I'm not saying it's out of place. But I think like everything else, I think it could be taken to the point that men just become weak. And brother, let me tell you in this day and age, we don't need more weak men. Now, when your internal battles come to the point that you need help because they have weakened you, then get help. But I think everybody's balance is different. And I fear there was a problem for years on this side, but I fear just like everything else with that subject being pushed the way it is, we're going to get out of balance on the other side.

59:36And it's like, and everybody needs therapy for everything. This is the nuance, I think, around what we were talking about, type A problems, type B problems. Right. Because it's easy to just take that as a one single meal on a plate as opposed to multiple different pieces or a onesie. Right. you put it as opposed to an outfit that's piecemeal and and bring together. So there's a British writer called Matthew Syed who's coming on the show soon. And the interesting thing about tennis as a sports reporter is that you had three phenomenal world champions all at the same time. You had Nadal, you had Jocovic and you had Federer and he used to go to Wimbledon and he would see how they were warming up and each had a different approach.

1:00:19So he'd go and see Nadal and he's just Raw aggression is tops off and he's hitting the ball as hard as he curred and he's sort of just fury And then you go and see Jockovich and he's like a robot and this guy's precise precision rationality Then he go and see Federer and he's playing trick shots He's laughing and he's having fun and sort of flirting with the ball girls and stuff like that and Each of these guys have won titles while all of them have been playing and they've traded places some on this court some on a different type of surface etc But if you were to look at any of them and say in order for me to be a world champion, I must be.

1:00:56Okay, well, which one? Because all of them are world champions. Yes. And this is, I think, you're right. The message may largely have swung too far back toward the... You cannot deal with any difficulty. You must prioritize your internal state over external responsibilities, mindful Mondays and time off Tuesdays and cookie Wednesdays. And it's trying to find who's this message for, particularly, and I think really trying to get people that are listening to feed it through the filter of, is this for me? Is this, or is this for someone else? Right. And that point around just go harder, bro, can cause you to have a heart attack late in bed next to your wife.

1:01:47And you go, okay, that's something that I probably do need to heed. And on the other side, am I a useless blob of emotional nothingness? Okay, well, maybe I need a bit more David Goggins in my life. And I think finding that balance and not having a one size fits all answer. So how does a man, an individual, picking the individual, how does he find that balance that fits him? With difficulty. I think for me, it's come with age, it's come with learning myself, it's come with experience of understanding what happened the last time that this situation occurred and how I felt and trying to... So what would you encourage or advise a young man, 1923, who doesn't have that benefit of the age and the experience?

1:02:43And what would you advise him and say, look, this is kind of an area that might help you find your balance. I think checking in with yourself and not treating your first response is always the correct one. I think the immediate sort of reflex that we often have, especially as young men, young and men is an issue because that you haven't accumulated enough experience for you to be able to call it gut instinct wisdom, right? What it is is probably your default response, which is from childhood, from the group that you grow up in, maybe it's dad's patent, maybe it's mom's patent, maybe it's the teacher and the way that you have to protect yourself in school, it's unlikely that that is the best way for you to deal with things.

1:03:37I think don't believe everything you think. Can we boil it down to a boil your base and say, look, when you have the thought, don't trust the thought, I need to do this or I need to do that. What if we start asking ourselves why? Why do I need to run 300 miles with two broken legs? Because David Goggen said so. You know, why do I need to do that? What is the purpose? Not why for me. But why do I need to do that to make myself the man I need to be for those around me. Why do I need to say, you know what? I need to spend more time in the backyard with a cigar. Why do I need to do that? And if the answer is because I'm becoming a overwhelmed, overtight, losing my balance, losing my focus on what really matters in life, I'm becoming hard to live with to those that I care the most about, to those who I am the most responsible before.

1:04:52So the why is this will make me a better person for those around me. Me being able to bench press 200 pounds as opposed to 180 pounds does not necessarily make me a better person for those that I'm here to serve. It feeds my ego. So maybe a little more time in the gym doesn't answer the why and a little more time in the backyard with my kids, that gives me a better answer to the why do I need to make this choice as opposed to that choice. And maybe that's a little more accessible to a young man without a lot of experience. I'm really interested in this blend that you have of real introspection and accepting of your own flaws and faults with the old school mentality of pick up a weight and carrier.

1:05:54I think one of the things that men that want to achieve things in their life struggle with a lot is being kinder with themselves when they fall short, even if they tried their best. They did everything that they could. Reality didn't deliver to them the thing that they wanted. the outcome. How have you learned to have a better relationship with yourself, the voice inside of your head to be kinder if things go badly? Just smiling. I like me. I like me. I would buy me a drink. I look at me now and I see all the warts. Okay, I see all the negatives more than anybody else does. I see the positives and over the whole balance of stuff I like me and I can give myself the same grace.

1:06:51If you and I were friends I Can give myself the same grace I can give you Because I like me I like me in spite of My understanding and the reality of my weaknesses and my works and my scars and everything, but you know all in all I'm a pretty good dude. And, man, you gotta get to that point. Outside of arrogance, arrogance is pride mixed with ignorance. All right, that's the definition of arrogance. I'm not talking arrogance. I'm talking about, look, as a human being, I've felt it this. I've succeeded at that. I've wrecked this, but I've built that. And all in all, you know, I've tried and but I like me so I'm gonna give me some grace and to symbols that I would buy me a cigar I wonder how many men can say that not as many as should and what how many people can say that how many people say I like me they would give more grace more care more attention more love to somebody else than themselves.

1:08:06There's a statistic around, I think on average, the likelihood that you are going to complete a course of antibiotics yourself. It's about 50%. The likelihood of your dog completing it is 95%. So we're literally capable of caring for a pet, nearly double as well as we can for ourselves. Remembering that if you die, no one can look after the pet. So in an odds round about way serving yourself and serving others from a cup which overflows around your own, or the saucer that sits around your cup is important. Without, and again, this sort of tension between being self -serving, being narcissistic, being egotistical, being self -centred, we're not meaning that.

1:08:52It's this delicate bounce, and this is what comes with growing up. And I think this is why one size fits all flaming sword advice seems to die away as people get a little older. He listened to a Joe Rogan and a lot of what he's saying is hedged in some regard. It's caveated. You know, this is what worked for me. Right. Not this is how everybody should do it. And yeah, there's a humility that comes with age. Right. Right. Right, because if you turn around and look back with open eyes at your life, you see all the scars. You know, I mean, you can't, you can't, the only way you cannot be humble in old ages when you refuse to look at the reality of your life up to today.

1:09:42I think you know, that's the only way. Because nobody's scathing through it perfectly. But this is what drives, this is what drives my, and it's, it sounds ludicrous in my but my business endeavors today. This is the core of what drives me. Okay, there is no business out there that I can take on. There is no monetary endeavor that I can take on that is worth the gamble of me losing me.

1:10:19It took me years of a lot of grief and pain and work to get to be who I am today and spider who I was. And I don't want to lose that. I don't want to lose myself in business. I don't want to lose myself in trying to earn a better living in trying to get a name and trying to do this. It's like I have turned down, I have turned down so much because I've looked at it and I've asked myself, who's this going to make me be? Who's just going to turn me into even a little bit? It's like it's just not worth it. It's not worth it. And so I'm right now trying to find the balance in undertaking something that's not going to alter me that I'm not going to lose myself and then not succeeding at something because I was too afraid to try it, which has never been an issue with me before.

1:11:23I've never been afraid of failure before, but now I've got something I don't want to lose. And that's myself that I actually like, a me that I actually like. Is that making any sense? You're just 100%. Okay. The person that you have to spend the most time talking to in your life is yourself. Try not to lose their respect. Right. Right. And I think, you know, this was a lesson that I realized toward the end of my 20s, where I'd accumulated a lot of success and status in maybe the way that modern society tells a young man that he should with freedom and notoriety and women and stuff like that. And that was cool and to look back on fun.

1:12:11But it was beginning to get to the stage where I didn't like me all that much. I didn't do anything bad, but I just felt like there was, I was built for more, I was built for different, built for something else. Right. And I realized that I wasn't keeping promises to myself. Right. that if I said I was going to wake up at a certain time, the snooze button would be hit three times. If I said that I was going to stick to my diet, I'd go to the gym or do this thing, maybe it would happen, but it wouldn't happen quite the way that I'd meant it to and there would be some negotiating and some cajoling and some falling short.

1:12:53So imagine that you had a friend and every time that you invited this friend out for lunch, they showed up an hour late or they didn't show up at all. after a while you'd stop trusting them and stop inviting them out at all. You are that friend to yourself. Yeah. You know, how can you have faith that you're going to go and do all of the things that you want in life when you can't not hit the snooze button? Right. Or you can't not cheat on your diet. You can't not do, you know, you are constructed by the tiny decisions that you make every single day. And even if you think that nobody else is watching and even if no one is, there's this little ticker in the back of your mind when you go to bed.

1:13:35You know, you would, you would gentle with yourself when you got agitated. Right. Good. Yeah. You were kind with the lady that looked like she was tired at Walmart. Mm -hmm. You said something peaceful and encouraging to her. Good. Yeah. But you did these things. Right. Did something that makes you feel not so proud about yourself. Right. And, you know, in some ways, it's a great correcting mechanism because there is no hiding from it. And you people turn to alcohol and distraction and aggression and depersonalization in order to deal with the fact that they don't like themselves. Right. But ultimately, you need to live with the decisions that you make.

1:14:18Right. To live with you. Right. There is this set of scales inside of your mind and that's just balancing things all the time. And if it, you know, you know. Yeah, and people don't know how to like themselves. I mean, people don't know how to like themselves, but it's not complicated. We'll get back to talking to Dwayne in one minute, but first I need to tell you about nomadic. Traveling should be about the journey, not the chaos of packing, which is why I'm such a massive fan of nomadic. Look at this sucker. They make the best luggage that I've ever found. And their brand new method, Carry On, is engineered to be lighter, stronger, and can hold up to 20 % more than other carry -ons.

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1:15:36Tell me how do you like yourself? Find somebody that you like, that you genuinely like and figure out what it is about them you like. I like that. That's something I like. That person is, uh, their understanding, their gentle, their hardworking, their honest, their, this is, this is what I like about that. And incorporate that stuff into your own life. If that's the stuff you like, then incorporate that stuff into who you are. And then you like yourself. It's not rocket science. You know, because there are things, there are things that you like as a person that wouldn't mean anything to me. There are things that you like in another person that wouldn't mean anything to me.

1:16:26There's things that I like in another person just because of how I'm wired and it wouldn't mean anything to you. All right. So that is what I like in a person. So if I work at taking on those attributes, it helps me become a person that I like. I always used to feel a little nervous when talking to people. And perhaps my horse situation, I belied this. I always wanted people to like me. Yeah. I was unpopular as a kid, only child, a lot of time in solitude, bullied in school. and I wanted people around me to think that I was fun or cool or interesting or want to be near me or want to be around me or whatever.

1:17:20And I think I assumed that that was always this sort of grand charismatic out of reach impressive person. You needed to be impressive. You did walk into a room and luck. All of the things I can do. Right. And then this was two years ago, my friend George made me realize this just by virtue of being peaceful and brilliant. And I realized that the reason I loved being around him wasn't because he was the most charismatic guy in the room or the most, even the most interesting guy in the room, Although he can be, but because he made me feel like the most interesting person in the room. And I think this is such an important lesson for people who want to be liked, who want struggle socially, and want to become better.

1:18:12People like people that make them feel good. They don't care that much about how impressive the person is. Right. There's this great story. I think it was Winston Churchill's wife who met the two US President candidates Truman and somebody else and she said that she sat down at dinner With both of them within the space of about a month of each other Said she left from the first president feeling like it was the smartest man in the world She left from the second president feeling like she was the smartest woman in the world right right and It is significantly easier to make someone else feel interesting than it is to be interesting, to make someone else feel charismatic than it is to be charismatic.

1:18:58It is, but from an individual. And this is where I see things because of all of the particular comments and questions and emails and stuff I get from young men. Okay. You take a young man out there and everything you just said is 100 % correct. I agree with 100 % it's dead on. But there are there are guys out there that don't have someone like that in their life. Someone who's going to be that person that makes him feel good about themselves. But if we become the person that we like, I have recently come to the play and this drives people crazy. I think I think it irritates people. I have come to the place in my life where when I meet somebody and they don't like me and you can tell, I don't care.

1:19:56And when I meet somebody that, you know, they're like, they really like me, it's like, okay, but it doesn't carry much weight either because I'm going to be leaving. I'm going to be leaving. You know, we're not staying. I like me. And it's enough. And so when I meet someone who doesn't like me or I meet someone who does like me, it doesn't alter my sale. I suppose that's the vicious circle of if you don't like you, you will continue to outsource yourself with to the people around you. Yes. Which makes you more desperate and more needy, which inherently makes you less likable, because people know that you're pliable and malleable and will kind of do whatever you need to do in order to gain their approval.

1:20:44Right. Mercifully the horse did lift it too far, but it's a vicious circle. And I get that. And you know, I'm a rehabilitating people pleaser in that regard. But this is this is the fascinating thing I think about Developing as a person that The journey that you're on Parts of it will resonate with other people right see bits of them in you, right? They see little bits. I was angry. I'm angry as a young man. I see that in Dwight I was never angry anger was never my my anger was always turned in with not how would right? so for me was low mood was fear, was worry, was concern, tight, closed up.

1:21:30It's never out. Right. Not fighting, wasn't showing aggression, I wasn't being, you know. It's okay, well, if I'm the angry young guy, intellectually philosophically, maybe I can say something that's remotely interesting, but I've got no lived experience that's actually going to help you. Right. I've got to eat. Right. Right, exactly. Black belt, master it, dealing with that. Right. That's where picking different bits apart. But I agree, I think, you know, there's been a lot of talk about crisis of masculinity, role models for men in the modern world. The multiplicity of backgrounds that guys are coming from, the unseen fatherlessness epidemic that we had, which has created a vacuum that's required people like you to step in a surrogate Patriots right right what what are you hearing from the guys in your audience What are they often asking what are they coming to you?

1:22:27What are the problems that they're dealing with mostly relationships girls They they were not raised They were not raised with a dad who said hey, this is how you treat a lady You know, this is how, you know, when girls talk and they say this, what they actually mean is this. And I'm not talking about no means no, but I'm talking about, you know, I don't know you don't have to get me something to eat when you go get something. I don't want anything. But it is, and so young men these days were never taught by another man. how to treat a lady like a lady. And they go in to a relationship, girlfriends, marriages, getting all their information from Hollywood and it's a crashing burn.

1:23:21Cause they don't understand relationships, they don't understand communication. They don't understand the balance between being a man and being a bore, being a buffoon, you know, being a tyrant. They don't know the difference between being... Can I call names on here? Absolutely. Okay. Andrew Tate, okay. Or some little milk soap over here. You know, there's you got the two extremes and they can't find that place in the middle. The biggest thing by far is relationships. What is your advice from 34 and a bit years of marriage and negotiating with a woman from Venus. What is your advice to young guys on how they can treat a lady better and understand them?

1:24:14Treat her like she's special. I mean for one thing, for one thing, my problem with the feminist movement is why in the Sam Hill was something is something as special and wonderful as a woman. want to be equal with a man. Why do you want to bring yourself down to that level? You know, as a Christian, God gave two very special gifts to mankind. The first one was a woman and the second was Jesus Christ. Okay, you can teach in ape to work construction. You cannot teach in ape to raise human children. I think it's degrading to women to try to be the same as a man is. Okay, treat them special. And secondly is communicate.

1:25:08All right, if you don't understand what they're saying, if you're confused, set down and gently say, look, I'm sorry, I don't understand. I don't understand what you're feeling. I don't understand, but I'd love to understand if you can help me. And just sit down and communicate. Just listen to them. You know a lot of times they don't they just they just want somebody to listen to them They don't want you to fix it. They just want you to listen to them while they while they take all this boiling stuff inside their head and put it out so they can actually hear it and Sometimes that helps them sort out all these thoughts that's in their head.

1:25:50They need to just put it out so they can hear it and And they don't need you to demean him by saying, okay, I'll fix this. Just listen to him. There's a quote from Timothy Leary that says, women who aspire to be equal with men like ambition. Yeah. Yeah, I hadn't heard that, but I agree with it. I'm like, I get up and give you my seat because I think you're special, not because I think you're my equal. The guy comes in, he's 57 years old, he's physically equal to me, he's all mine. I'm not going to get up and give him my seat. All right, so I give you my seat not because I think you're my equal.

1:26:25If you're my equal, you can stand just like I do. I give you my seat because you're special. What about the reverse? What do you wish more women knew about how men operated?

1:26:42Oh, there's 10 ,000 times more going on inside the head of a man than you have any idea.

1:26:52He's carrying burdens that you don't have a clue about and he don't know how to express them and he don't know what to do about it and he figures if he puts it out there and communicates it he's just going to be shot down called a fool called wheat so he carries inside and you have no clue the burdens and the hell that most men are carrying inside and not even showing you.

1:27:19I wish more women understood that. Yeah, it's a strange problem, I think, of the modern discussion around men and why they're struggling. That a lot of the solutions that get put forward, a lot of the only acceptable solutions that get put forward are, if only you acted less like a man, all of your problems would go away. that men are treated like defective women as opposed to treated like working progress meant. The average man, I believe, the average real man does not need to go get therapy for the battles and the burdens he's carrying inside. What he needs is is for those that He's carrying them for to recognize that they're there and to respect it and to be grateful for it.

1:28:20They don't need to talk it out to get rid of it. They need the one that they're going through this hell for to recognize it's there and to be grateful that the man is carrying this for them. They don't need therapy, they need gratitude.

1:28:41How important do you think it is to communicate that as a man? You've said there are 10 ,000 things, challenges, trauma, complete inability to communicate it by the, maybe you can communicate to a horse better than you can communicate to your significant other. Right. What's your thoughts around vulnerability within a relationship? if it's you're not going to the therapist perhaps. Right. How about opening up about these fears and concerns and... Well, first off, let's take away vulnerability, okay? Because a lot of times men won't open up, they won't respond because this looked at is becoming vulnerable.

1:29:26And it's like the, you know, the little Dutch boy with his finger in the die. It's a little tiny leak, but if I allow this little tiny leak, the entire dyke is going to give way. That's why we can't allow the little tiny leak. Okay? So if I, if I'm setting here and if I'm one of these guys and my significant other is setting there, I can communicate to her what I need to communicate without being vulnerable. I can maintain my strength and communicate to her. Okay? I can say, look, I'm working 60 hours a week and the environment that I'm working in is very, very difficult. And I come home and I only have eight hours here at house and this is the only place of peace I have in this entire world.

1:30:24And when I come home, you're angry all the time. You're not satisfied about anything. You're you want that you know, whatever the situation is, if you're not going to provide for me that little bit of peace, That this is your own place I can get. What are we doing? Now, you're not vulnerable. You're not getting walked on. You're not being a jerk. You're not coming in throwing stuff down and saying this. You're just communicating the hard reality truth is. The hard reality truth is, our relationship at this point has boiled down to this. Now, you have a beautiful house. You have, you never worry about there being grocery money, you have a car.

1:31:14I put the fuel in your car because you let it go to empty all the time. I provide this and this and this and what I'd like for you is some peace and some understanding. You know, if that's where your situation is, but to communicate it in such a way, not to come in and whine, not to grovel, and not to tyrant, you know, not to yell, not to pick a fight is like, look, I'm just communicating because I think we have a lack of understanding here. So I need you to understand this is where things are right now. And so you can communicate by how you communicate is just as important as what you communicate.

1:31:58Transparent communication like that is so rare. You know, making, being able to put across what you mean. Yeah. Without ladening it with resentment, pacifagression. Right. Right. I had a, I knew a guy years, years, many years ago, he had a little dog, one of those little very little rat dogs, you know. And his, his, one of his little joys in life was he'd look at that dog and he'd smile and he'd say, you're so stupid. You're the ugliest dumbest, most worthless dog ever seen in my life. And that dog would just wiggle and roll over and just, and any look at me say, it doesn't matter what you say, it's how you say it.

1:32:36Dog has no idea what I'm saying, but I say it in a loving tone. And it's all good. You know, there's a lot of truth to that and communicating with people. We can say things that are not necessarily blatantly offensive, but we can say it in a real belligerent, aggressive tone. And all they hear is the tone. They mean you're the message. That's right. They know you hear the words. What if you learned about the importance of fatherhood? You get seven children. Seven children. Yeah. What if you learned about the importance of fatherhood?

1:33:19All right. I believe God made man, okay? And God created man and God gave man the word. And the word at that time was don't eat of the fruit of those two trees. Okay, that was a symbol. It's all the word God gave man at that time. Then God gave man a work. And the work was, he said, take care of this garden. And then God gave man a woman to help the man. Okay? That man and then the woman God gave him that became a marriage. And then that man and wife had children. And those children had children and then there became governments. Okay? You see where I'm going? In this country, this country was found that this was founded as Christian country.

1:34:16This is what I believe. People can do whatever. I believe that this country is only as strong as the churches. Even our founding fathers says America will remain great as long as America is good. When America ceases to be good, America will cease to be great. This country is only as strong as the churches in this country. The churches are only as strong as the families that make up those churches. Those families are only as strong as the marriages that those families are built on, and those marriages are only as strong and good as the man that God built the marriages on. As goes the man, so goes the marriage.

1:34:56As goes the marriage, so goes the family. As goes the family, so goes the churches. As goes the churches. So goes the country. Everything is built on the husband and the father. And this country is a failure today because the fathers and the husbands have failed. How? Failing to be the example they need to be. Failing to be the leaders. they need to be, failing to be the disciplinarians that they need to be, failing to be the providers that they need to be. If you don't have, if you don't have the backbone as a husband and as a father to be the bad guy, you've got no business being a father or a husband.

1:35:41There's times when you have to know this is not a good direction for my marriage or for my family and everybody's going to be mad at me. My wife is going to be mad at me. My kids are going to hate me. But in a long run, this is a very bad direction. And I'm putting my foot down and we're not doing that. And you become the bad guy. But you do it for the long term strength and safety of the family. And we've lost that. I mean, we've lost that in this country to a very large degree. And, and so I think, I mean, our next generation, our next generation is going to run the politics, are going to run the finances, they're going to run the judicial system, everything in this country.

1:36:34And they're going to be the result in a very large degree. And there's going to be those who don't agree with us. But they're going to be the result of whatever the father's made them or whatever they've become because they didn't have a father. And so I think fatherhood is paramount. I think is paramount for the future of a society. Speaking of doing things that make your family mad at you, I heard that you didn't let your daughters as date until they were in their late teens. Is this right? Right. And that you grilled the potential suitors when they started dating them? Every boy had to come to me.

1:37:20Tell me the process, tell me the story though. Well, they would come, you know, the boys would come, hey, you wanna, you wanna, and she was taught, you gotta go talk to daddy. We don't even talk about this, you go talk to daddy. two of my son -in -law's today for years, they would come and say, I'd like to, and they would, they'd come to me and they're like, I'd like to write your daughter, I'd like to do that, I'm like, no. Nope. Well, what about this? No. Why not? It's like, look, you're a good kid, but my problem with you is you're a kid. All right, grow up. And two of my son -in -law's, there were literally years.

1:38:01They kept coming back and I'm like, no, let me see what kind of man you're going to become. Okay, my daughter's not marrying a boy And a lot of boys they grew up to not be good men. So why let her Get into an emotional attachment with a boy who will never grow up And why am I not protecting her from that heartache in the future and Both of them now are married to my daughters, but they're they're came a point years later I'm like, okay, I've watched you. All right, you grew up. You can contact my daughter now. How did that go down with the daughters? I don't know, they wouldn't come fuss to me.

1:38:43But I think my daughters appreciated knowing they had a father who was not just looking out for them today. Their feelings today, their whatever, but looking out for their entire future and putting them on the right road. I brought a man in my office one time and I had a desk along the wall. We sat down in front of the desk He was sitting in front of me. I pulled out the middle drawer of my desk pulled out a buoy knife about that long Slammed on the desk between this I said do you have any questions? He said no sir. No sir. I don't have any questions. I said all right then put it back to George closed it and we got him left They never had any question.

1:39:23My daughters are married, all my daughters that are married are married to good men. Good men. And I've told everyone I'm at the wedding. I've pulled everyone I'm at the wedding aside to say, if you ever hurt her, they will never find your body. I said, there will be no court. There will be no, what they call it. You know, you go down and you swear out a, you can't come in as so many protective orders. It won't be any of that. If you ever hurt her, they won't find your body. She'll be my daughter to the day she dies. And they don't, they don't know, everybody knows. You know, it's just like, and I think they appreciate it.

1:40:06And I think, I'm sure they appreciate it at the wedding day, yeah. Oh yeah, well, I didn't tell them. He may have later, but that's okay. But you know, there's, I think there's a lot of women out there. Would you say, man, I wish I'd had somebody in my life that had that kind of commitment to my safety and to my future. Why do people think that you were saying that? Is it because you're a tyrant? Is it because you wanted to dominate or over your daughter's lives? Or is it because you love them and you want the best for them and you want them to be safe and protected and happy. Just that because I'm not every one of my children when they got married, you're adults.

1:40:52And I never interfere in their decisions. Never. I never say you can't go here, you should do that. I never tell their husband you should get this job, you should do that. We don't interfere in how they raise their children. My children are not raising their children the way I raise them. I never say anything about it. It's you're an adult. I raised you being an adult. You're a parent. Those children are your children. I'm not a tyrant at all. But they know from a distance, Zeus is looking from Olympia and he will throw that thunderbolt down as someone tries to they know that is like that's always there.

1:41:33He's never meddling. He's never in the way. He's never in our affairs. But if he's always there, if we're What do you think with the most important lessons that you taught your kids? What do you hope that your kids lend? Um, your word. Don't, your word is your bond. Don't lie. Now I, I would go to jail for this today, but my kids are grown and gone. We had a deal in the house, and it's like, and I spanked my children. Okay, there it is. there's a set penalty for breaking this rule. If you do, if you break the rule, you're gonna get that penalty. If you lie about it, the penalty is doubled. So it's like, my boy says, like, you don't hit girls.

1:42:27You don't hit girls, all right? And so, you know, if they haul off and smack, There's a sister comes in, you know, he hit me. She's crying or red mark on the side of her face Call him in. It's like did you hit her? Now if it's proven that he did hit her, you know, there's gonna be like 15 legs I mean the penalty was severe. You don't hit women. All right if he said no, I didn't hit her All son Don't do that. No, I didn't hit her and then two of the other siblings come and say he did we saw it Well, he got the 15 licks for hitting a sister, but he got 30 licks for lying about it. So he got 45 licks total.

1:43:10It's like lying is the worst thing. Do not lie. Go through life. You be honest. You speak the truth even to your harm, even to your detriment. You do not lie. And you don't hit women. So don't lie. Don't lie. Your word is your A man's most important, a man's most valuable, most important resource is his good name. If a man ain't got a good name, he ain't got nothing. So don't lie. Be respectful. You know, be respectful to others. Be respectful to your elders. Even if, even if they're not respectable, they still been through life enough, you know, their position earns them what their behavior want.

1:43:55You know. You had seven kids. Mm -hmm. Were you rich? How do you afford seven kids? A lot of people at the moment have a problem. I can't start a family. I don't have enough money. I don't have the X, Y, and Z. It's one of the most common reasons people have for not starting families yet. No, wait. So during that time, there were years for my income tax return. Like for the year, I made $16 ,000 to $18 ,000 for the year. I worked hard, worked two jobs. We were very frugal. I had a guy I spent one time. I was working. Actually, I was working. We were living in Temple Texas and I was working at UCB Watson Electric.

1:44:36Was an industrial electrical supply and I was working at the counter. One of the contractors come in and he says, Dwayne, do you get assistance on the side? I'm like, what do you mean? He said, you know, food stamps, welfare or something. I had four kids at the time. I said, No, man, I don't I don't get anything. He's like, does your wife work? I said, no, my wife is a mother of four kids at home. He said, then how do you do it? He said, I know basically what you're making here. How do you do it? I said, well, it's a very very difficult, very complex, very mathematical equation. I said, you sure you want to hear it?

1:45:11He said, I want to hear it. I said, you sure? He said, man, I'm sure how do you do it? I said we say no. We just say no. No, we're not going out to eat. No, we don't need satellite TV. No, you don't need a hundred dollar pair of basketball shoes. No, we don't have to have TV dinners. No, my wife can cook. You just say no. No, I bought a 1976 Dodge Dart paid cash for you know for $700. I don't need a car payment. I just need a vehicle that get me from point A to point B. I said just say no. Live within your means. It's amazing. I mean we rented a mobile home. We were in a mobile home you know $300 a month whatever it was.

1:46:02How many people lived in the mobile home, myself, my wife and, and, with the three children, with the three children at the time. Yeah. So it's just live within your means. You don't need near as much as you think you need. You know, and who cares about the status symbol of those around you, what they think you are. And then you find out when you get up to my age that the people out there who are super, super, truly super wealthy for real. Most of them, they look like they're living in the mobile home, driving the Dodge Dart. They don't show it. You know, I mean, they don't have all the big super cars and everything.

1:46:42You're truly obnoxiously wealthy guys. You know, they're driving Toyotas. They're driving Honda's. That's what I like about Austin, the richest people drive the shit's cause. Yeah. Yeah. So it's a big circle. And so if you want to get this out of circle start over here, you know, if you want to get to the level of where you Are so rich you drive the crappiest car you start by driving the crappiest car Yeah, I think Starting at the end or realizing What do older people do what did the people that are a little bit further down the line? How do they dress or do they spend the time thinking about?

1:47:25Doing what are they invested in? and realizing that if you're going to end up there, and if you can see that most people with age for a good amount of time comes some wisdom and some understanding, you think, well, you can probably take some of that now and bring it down into the present moments and speedrun this whole wisdom growing up thing a little bit. Right. What, how big was Warren Buffett's mansion? He lived in a little three bedroom, oh, I don't know, three bedroom, little brick ranch house, same house he'd been in for decades. You know, he drove a car. He just wore suits. You know, how does Mark Zuckerberg dress?

1:48:09Sweats in a t -shirt, you know? How does, what's his name, Amazon? Look at how he dressed us. Yeah, Bezos, you know, what are these guys doing? They say, oh. Maybe I should learn something. Speaking of famous people, who are some of the role models that you have looked up to over the years?

1:48:37Um.

1:48:42I can't think of anybody famous that was. Well, what about private people? My dad. Um. Uh. Cowboy and Kansas I worked with for several years really respected him. He was scratchy fella But he had he had his honesty and and He really had a big effect some just some of the folks I've worked with him been around Well my dad was probably the My dad and I were not always on the same page about everything, but I have never met a man in my life where I looked at and said That guy's more honest than my dad my day was the most honest man I've ever known in my life and no one has affected me more in that area than he did.

1:49:30I think when we're talking about leaving the world in a better place than you found it. Not doing things that derogate the well -being of the people that are around you that you're supposed to look after and careful. I do think that you know if somebody asks the question who would be in the biggest influences who have been your biggest role models. I think the goal of every father should be for their son to say dad. Dad, yeah. I think that's usually a pretty good indication that you did a good job. It's pretty good. Yeah, it's pretty good. And he was, my dad was always himself, but himself was a good guy.

1:50:10himself was enough. He was never wealthy, never famous, never, But he was very much respected in his field and You know there's a There's very little more than a man could ask for when he leaves this world Then saying look I was known as an honest man. I was known as a very respectable man And everybody that knew me respected me. They may not all liked me But they all respected me and Everything else is really not that important. I'm interested You have this facility now, which maybe you're going to have to slow down for a little bit and reorganize to make it work. If you were able to design your perfect day, what would that look like?

1:51:01What would an ideal day for you be? That I could like, whatever you're in my life now. Yeah, your life right now. What does a perfect normal day look like for you?

1:51:16My days right now are all over the map. I don't know. That's a really good question. I don't know if I have an answer for that.

1:51:34I... Well, you stunk me. I don't know. I wonder if that's an indication of how much sort of change and upheaval is going on in flexion and attention and stuff like that for you at the moment. I think it's an indication of how the quality of my day is internalized, how it's not affected by my environment, by what's going on. I think it's more of that. It's like whatever happens, you know, we can, whatever I'm doing today, we can make this a really good day Instead of thinking more long the lines of if I can do this and this and if this can happen and if I can be here and if I can Have this property and I can have this schedule and that then that's going to be the perfect then I can have a good day Yeah, well that's power my one of my friends Alex says if you can have a bad day for no reason and then you can have a good day for no reason.

1:52:42You know, I've been staying with my best friend in those in temple. And day before yesterday I got up, he had to go to work. I got up, took a shower, made two or three cups of coffee, you know, and I got online and I said, I know there's cigar lounges around here. There's gotta be. And I found one in Belton, nice folks. And so I went to the cigar lounges and I just sat there and smoked couple of cigars and talk to folks until about one o 'clock, went back to the house, sat on the porch and talked with my buddy's wife about poetry. She's real big in the poetry. We just sat on the porch and talked and then he came home and he and I went to a long star steakhouse and I had a ribeye for supper and I'm like today was a really, really good day.

1:53:31You know what did I accomplish? Who cares? What did I break? Nothing. It was just a really good day. You know, it's just the ideal day. And there's something to be said for getting to that place in your life that you don't have to architect. What a good day is going to be. You make good days. You make good days out of whatever you got. whatever's there. There wasn't a horse in your insight. I didn't go riding, you know, um, my wife is back home. She wasn't here, but we said like, this is where I am. This is what I got. This is what my good days going look like. Do I know, ladies and gentlemen, do I, I love everything that you do.

1:54:23You're fantastic. Everybody needs to check out your YouTube channel. Everyone needs to go and follow the stuff that you're doing online, I can't believe that you've been hiding away somewhere and now you've sort of broken above the surface. I really hope that so many people are going to be blown away by the things that you talk about. It's very, very impressive. I'm really, really glad that you're doing what you're doing. Well, thank you. I appreciate it. I appreciate you too. It's been an honor you have me here. I'm very thankful. Thank you.