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Podcast Notes: Modern Wisdom #921 - Catherine Price - How To Defeat Your Social Media Addiction
Episode Overview In this episode, Chris Williamson speaks with Catherine Price, a journalist and author of *How to Break Up With Your Phone*, to discuss the impacts of phone and social media usage on our brains, attention spans, and overall mental health. They explore the addictive nature of smartphones, their effects on interpersonal relationships, and strategies to mitigate their influence on our lives.
Key Themes and Discussions
The Extent of Phone Use
- Average Screen Time: People are spending 4-6 hours daily on their phones, equating to approximately 75 days a year.
- Demographic Variations: Younger generations (Gen Z and Gen Alpha) spend significantly more time on screens than older generations.
- Opportunity Cost: Increased screen time results in reduced time for engaging in other life experiences, leading to a void in meaningful activities.
Psychological Impacts
- Addiction vs. Compulsion: There is no official designation of smartphone addiction; however, smartphones are designed to be addictive (similar to slot machines).
- Attention Span and Memory:
- Smartphones train our brains to be more distractible, hindering our ability to focus and read long-form content.
- The relationship between distraction and memory formation is significant; distractions can impede the processing of short-term to long-term memories.
Mindfulness and Reflection
- Awareness Techniques: Price introduces a mindfulness exercise called "WWW" (What For, Why Now, What Else) to help individuals examine their motives for reaching for their phones.
- Intentionality: Recognizing when phone use is habitual versus intentional can help individuals regain control over their time.
Alternative Coping Mechanisms
- Replacing Phone Use: It’s crucial to identify fulfilling alternatives to screen time, such as reading, exercising, or socializing, to avoid existential despair once the phone is less relied upon.
- The Role of Fun: Engaging in "true fun" can reduce the attraction to phones, highlighting the importance of real-world experiences.
Societal Changes
- Polarization and Misinformation: The rise of social media and algorithms has contributed to societal polarization and the dissemination of misinformation.
- Homogenization of Culture: Algorithms shape not just what we see but also influence our preferences and behaviors, leading to a less diverse cultural landscape.
Future Considerations
- Impact of AI: The conversation touches on the potential future implications of AI and how it may further influence human relationships and individual psychology, particularly with the emergence of AI chatbots.
Key Takeaways
- Behavioral Changes Needed: To combat phone addiction, it requires active effort and a conscious decision to change behaviors, including implementing mindfulness strategies.
- Importance of Real Experiences: Prioritizing real-life interactions and experiences can lead to a more fulfilling life and less dependence on digital distractions.
- Awareness of Algorithms: Understanding how algorithms work and their influence on our choices can help individuals regain agency over their preferences and behaviors.
Additional Resources
- Catherine Price's Substack: [How to Feel Alive](https://catherineprice.substack.com/)
- Book: [How to Break Up With Your Phone](https://tinyurl.com/tnrfk84m)
- Social Media:
- Instagram: [@catherinepriceofficial](https://www.instagram.com/catherinepriceofficial)
- LinkedIn: [Catherine Price](http://linkedin.com/in/catherinepriceofficial)
- Twitter/X: [@catherine_price](https://twitter.com/catherine_price)
Conclusion Catherine Price emphasizes the importance of being intentional with phone usage and the necessity to replace screen time with more fulfilling activities. The episode offers valuable insights for anyone looking to improve their relationship with technology and lead a more balanced life.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:00How many hours a day are most people spending on their phones? How many times are they picking them up? It's hard to get a firm answer in how many hours with the best statistics I found range between four and six hours a day that people are spending on their phones. If you want to go for the middle number there, five hours a day, it adds up to about 75 days a year. It's really a shocking amount. Yeah, I wonder what the comparison is, because that's presumably across a bunch of different age groups. So if you were to go under 30, I would guess that that number goes up. I would also guess that the hours of sleep would go down under that.
0:36I suddenly know Luke, who is a good friend of mine and my two of manager, he regularly manages to double his sleep time with his screen time. So he's 12 hours a day on phone, six hours of sleep. Oh, that direction. I thought you were going the other healthier direction. No. Oh, that's not good. Does he need an intervention? He's a club promoter. He's like, he's like patient zero for phone use all of us. So anybody that used to run nightlife stuff, we just have, we basically were hardwired into WhatsApp. And it's very, very difficult to get rid of that. Maybe this is me just, you know, creating an excuse for myself.
1:17But yeah, if you grew up being some sort of club promoter type person, you have maybe the worst neural networks possible for at phone use is not good. That's a separate category. So you have like 18 to 29 year olds, 20 and into 40 and then you have like club managers, which is correct. That's good. Wait, it's a different species, technically. I hadn't thought about that. I'm already learning. That's it. And have we got, I was going to say, when you look at different cohorts, do boys or men use it more than women do? what have we got about teenagers, young people? Does this tend to fluctuate over time?
1:52Yeah, I mean, the generational thing is definitely true. So everyone is spending a lot of time on their phones, but younger people, which the terms are gen alpha and gen Z, you know, basically up to 28 or 30 or so, definitely higher than gen X or let alone boomers. But with that said, I do think that older people get off the hook too easily when it comes to screen time, because I think most of us have probably had an experience when you're with someone in their 70s and they just have their phone out usually on Facebook all the time. And I recently heard a great word for that, which is screen your citizen.
2:23Oh, screen your citizen. Very good. Yeah. Very good. Yeah. And I think in terms of gender breakdown, you tend to have different people doing, it's all stereotypes rapid. It's like women tend to be on social media, more men tend to be and young men in particular, ungaming more. So it depends on the person, but those are the general kind of breakdowns. But yeah, I mean, younger people are on their phones more than the much older generations for sure. I suppose what's interesting about this is something I only realized a few years ago, which is funds come in and they take let's say six hours of our day.
2:54And I'm going to guess that a lot of what's being studied here is not word processes, emails at work. It's much more social media sort of casual, leisure time type stuff. But we haven't gained the length of the day hasn't become 30 hours. So that six hour window has had to squeeze other bits of life that 25 years ago existed. That has to have been squeezed from somewhere unless you've become more efficient at playing in the park or more efficient at spending time with your friends or whatever it might be. So inevitably to put six hours of your day onto screens, that means six hours of your day doing something else has had to go.
3:34Yeah, I think the opportunity cost is something that people need to pay more attention to. I will say though that I think a lot of times people are multi -screening and that because I thought about the same thing How does this math actually work? You know, there's like teenagers are supposedly spending something like seven hours a day on Screen -based leisure that doesn't have to do the schoolwork. I'm like how is that possible schools eight hours a day? So a lot of it is multi -screening you're watching TV You're also on your phone you're playing a video game. You're also chatting like that kind of multi -screening But going back to what you were saying I think that we really do need to think about this in terms of opportunity cost is there are only 24 hours in the day and every time we spend an hour on one thing, little on six hours, we end up with six fewer hours to spend on anything else in life.
4:13And I always say, like, if you are aware of this and you decide you want to be spending that much time on a screen, it's your life. But I think that for a lot of people, it's not an intentional choice. You get sucked in and then you don't really recognize your life as being stolen from you in these little increments that add up to weeks and months in literally years. How can people work out whether or not the time on screens is something they want to be doing or something they don't? Given that we all do it, so presumably at the time we want to be doing it kind of. I don't know if we always want to be doing it kind of.
4:45I think a lot of times it's an automatic habit by this point. We've been so conditioned, we can talk more about this, but we've been so conditioned to associate our phones with some kind of reward, emotional reward, usually like the alleviation of boredom or anxiety that we do it on autopilot and then we get sucked in and we don't even recognize how much time we're spending. But I do think you raise a really important point which is that one of the most effective things you can do if you're trying to quote break up with your phone as I put it or change your relationship with your phone is to become more aware of when you reach for your phone.
5:17And so I do have a couple exercises I always recommend to people and one of them is this It's mindfulness -based exercise I call what for, why now, and what else. So, WWW for short. And I always recommend people start by putting something on their phone like a rubber band or some kind of like, I tell a woman like a hair tie. The point being that when you pick up your phone on autopilot, you'll notice there's something on the phone and you'll have a split second of being like, why is this thing on my phone? And that will be a reminder to ask yourself these three questions. And the way that works is you ask yourself, what for?
5:47What did I pick up my phone for right now? Did I actually have a purpose or was it just kind of like an autopilot thing and you might have a purpose? But what did you pick it up for? Then you ask why now? Was it a time sensitive reason? Like you actually wanted to send a specific text message or email or you really wanted to check something in particular? Or this is more likely, is there an emotional reason behind it? Like you were bored and you wanted a distraction or you were feeling lonely, you wanted a connection, you know, something like that. And once you identify this reward that your brain is after, that's when you you can ask the final question of what else, let's just what else could you do in this moment to alleviate or give yourself that reward that doesn't involve reaching for your phone?
6:26So instead of, I always say like, instead of checking social media for a quote connection, you could actually call a friend or find someone to just chat with. You could take a break by going for a walk around the block. But I also always say to people, you might decide that for your what else you actually want to do nothing, which is an excellent choice because our brains need more time to decompress from all this stuff we're putting into them. And then you also might just decide, I want to be on my phone right now. And I really like to emphasize, that's fine. That's the whole point. If you end up on your phone after asking yourself those questions, like you've succeeded because you know it's intentional.
6:59And that going back to your original question is how you know that you're not just sacrificing your life and suffering from opportunity cost. You actually want to dispend that time on the phone. What if you come to believe about whether it's best to refer to our phone use as an addiction, a compulsion, a habit, a dependency. I mean, largely these are just sort of semantic questions. But I imagine that if you were someone smarter than me who knew what those words meant, that would actually have sort of important distinctions. I don't know that I'm smarter than you, but I will say what I know, which is that at the moment there's no such official thing as a phone addiction, at least in the States, like that's not an official term that is recognized by the American Psychiatric Association in their manual of disorders.
7:48With that said, they have materials on their site that talk about technology addiction, so that's a little contradiction there. So I always am cautious about straight up saying that you can have a smartphone addiction. With that said, a couple things, the devices and apps themselves are definitely designed to be addictive because they're modeled directly off of smart, I'm sorry, they're modeled directly off of slot machines, which are some of the most addictive machines ever to have been invented. And also, there is such thing as a behavioral addiction. And gambling actually is the first ever behavior to be recognized as having the potential to lead to an addictive disorder.
8:24So if you think about the fact that smartphones and more specifically many apps are deliberately designed to mimic slot machines and that gambling is considered to be a behavioral addiction to carry the potential for a behavioral addiction. I personally think it's a matter of time before we officially recognize that there is such thing as a smartphone or social media or gaming addiction. But I don't think we need to get too caught up in the words because I think there's no question that we are using them compulsively, that we have problematic habits when it comes to our smartphone and app use.
8:55You know, so I think you can kind of use whatever words feel right to you, but I always do like to just be very clear for the psychiatrist in the audience that to acknowledge that it's not yet a quote addiction. Okay, let's talk about what it's doing to our attention span. Headlines, people being unable to pay attention, everybody knows the sort of ease of distraction, increasing ADHD diagnoses. Has there ever been any research looking at what phones directly do to attention spans? I am not sure that there's any research done that actually has two groups of like a randomized controlled trial of you're going to look at your smartphone for three hours day and you are not.
9:32Although there are some interesting longitudinal studies that are ongoing about the effects of screen time on children's brains in particular, but I will say I have done interviews with attention researchers such as Gloria Mark and I've talked to people about this and done a lot of research myself. And I think it is, it would be kind of ridiculous to think that they were not having an effect on our attention spans. The probably the number one complaint people bring to me when they say that they're having problems with their smartphone is their attention span is shot. They can't focus anymore, They can't read a book.
10:01They used to love reading books now. They can't even make it through a magazine article And I think it makes total sense that our smart phones are training us to be distractable for a number of reasons One of them is that our brains actually want to be distractable our natural state is not a state of concentration It's a state of distractability and that makes evolutionary sense because if you think about it if you are totally concentrating on one thing like the pages in a book You have to shut out everything else otherwise you that is what But attention and concentration is, it's the choosing one thing to focus on and ignoring everything else.
10:32That's great if you're reading a book like where I am right now in this room, it's safe, it's quiet. But if I were an ancient human and there were actually things that might want to eat me, I actually want to be tuned into distractions because they might represent threats. A real life example of that, I was once walking on the street talking to my husband on the phone and I was very absorbed in my conversation. I did not notice when a car pulled up with a group of teenagers in it and one of them got out with a gun and walked toward me and mug me So that's an example of how a concentration actually can be a bad thing my point being That's our brains natural state.
11:06It's where our brains are always going to want to drift to distract ability It takes a lot of work to be able to sustain your concentration do something like read a book So if you introduce this device that is basically a non -stop stream of distractions That's going to have an effect. And it is distracting us in two ways. You have the fact that your smartphone is pulling your attention away from your real -life experience and the way that my phone was when I got mugged. So that's a distraction, training you to go back and forth and back and forth. But if you think about what we're doing on our phones themselves, we are not reading books for the most part on our phones.
11:37We are looking at short posts, tiny bits of content, headlines like you're saying videos that are 15 seconds long. And every time we do that, we're training our brains to be more and more distractable. So the analogy I always use is that it would be as if instead of going to the gym and doing the hard work of working out and developing muscles You actually had a trainer your phone that was encouraging you to lie in the couch neat potatoeships like what you wanted to do anyway so Yeah, but one thing I will say that is a moment or a note of hope is that when people do start to break up with their phones and and make a point of trying to get back into the habit of attention building practices such as reading or meditating, it's actually astonishing how quickly their attention spans can come back.
12:21So if anyone out there is like I am a god like a no hope, there is hope. It does take work, but I've actually personally been surprised by how quickly you can start to see the effects. Yeah, how possible, you know, a lot of people listening will identify with the terminally distracted person who feels like their phone is broken their brain and then now some sort of some weird prisoners dilemma Stockholm syndrome from themselves to themselves this thing in the pocket. How possible is it to retrain our attention span if it's been nuked by phone use? I think it's very possible, but I think you have to want to do it.
12:55So the two things I always recommend to people, well in general I say try to build an attention building practice into your day as often as possible. The easiest thing to do is just to put your phone in a different room and read a book. So I always say you can get two birds for one stone if you get your phone out of your bedroom at night and then put a book on your bedside table where the phone used to be a book that you want to read and Then it will be easier to reach for the book than it will be to go get your phone So you can spend the time during your bedtime routine when you normally would have just scrolled reading instead and you can build in Some practice for your attention span there.
13:29It's gonna be hard at first, but be patient and kind to yourself You also can do something more formal, like actually do something like a meditation practice, mindfulness meditation in particular where you're focusing on one anchor, like your breath, there are sounds in the room or bodily sensations, and just coming back to it over and over again. Excellent way to build your attention span, but I know that not everybody wants to or feels they have time for meditation. So it can be as simple as reading a book. And I'd also recommend just try to do one thing at one time, you know, at a time. I noticed for myself that like I'm always like brushing my teeth while making the bed.
14:02Neither is as well done as it could be as a result of that multitasking. So just getting in the habit of trying to do one thing at a time can be very helpful in helping our brains start to quiet down a bit and be able to tolerate sustaining our attention for more than five seconds at a time. Yeah, I remember when I first started trying to read as a proper adult after university, maybe 29 at this time and I'm thinking, I'm starting to listen to podcasts and I'm starting to sort of take into actual curiosity a bit more seriously. The classic party boy tries to be less of an adult infant, manopause type situation that lots of guys go through.
14:44I've witnessed that. I did not have a name for it, but I witnessed it. Manopause. Manopause. And I sat down. Now remember, when I sat one of the first times that I sat down to try and read, my fingers were moving just a little bit like this. And I realized that I was just so used to overstimulation. And I'm looking at this, you know, totally static, white piece of paper with black words on it. And my body is just no, my nervous system's evidently regulated for beings and banners and banners and the stuff moving. And I, you know, these words don't even change. It's just the same words. And if you don't read them, then they don't go away.
15:21And yeah, that was, you know, sort of felt that. Did you swipe the page? Did you try to swipe it? I wasn't that much of an idiot. That being said though, you know, going back to the compulsion addiction dependency habit thing, everybody knows what it's like when you're on a plane and you know that you have no signal and you get the phone out and you swipe up and you do the things and you do the thing and you do your little loop around whatever the apps are and you realize how futile it is and then as you put it away And then you take it like a shop shoe to pulling it back out of your pockets. I'll just, you know, so there's definitely something going on there.
15:55Those myelin sheets that we've got a pretty sort of deeply ingrained on the plane. Also that moment when it's like, you may now turn your cellphones on. And then you hear like, but I will say, no, I've seen videos of small children, toddlers trying to swipe magazine pages. That was a serious question because it gets an iPad. Yeah. Wow. Wow. I don't mean detoxes. You said sort of retrain attention span. Be mindful with your use. Try and do some proper mindfulness. Keep your phone outside of your bedroom, which is the number one life hack that I've been hopping on about on this show for as long as I can remember.
16:30Just put the charge. Take the charger now and put it in another room. And do not try and fucking tell me that it's because you use your phone as your alarm clock. Raise your alarm clock. Have been around for like 2000 years. So please buy yourself. If not longer. It's not longer, exactly. Get a sundial, get a cockerel. Yeah, a window. Exactly. Get a window. Yeah, take your phone outside of your bedroom. Dukming detoxes. Another super trendy thing. I've seen lots of videos with millions of plays on YouTube. Are they legit? Do they do anything? Do they work? Well, I don't like things that have millions of views.
17:10I shouldn't say that. You have millions of views on YouTube. You know what I mean? That's what it's like. such a trend. With that said, okay, so I don't like the term dopamine detox in the way that I often hear it bandied about. What just I retraced my steps, I mean, insulted my host inadvertently. But what I would say is that, yes, it is a good idea to try to reset yourself so that you are not so short term focused and so desires of dopamine stimulation to put it in a horribly phrase way. Let me back up and explain what dopamine is for a second here because we often talk about it in the wrong way It's not actually like just pleasure Dopamine is our brains way of recording when things are worth doing again and important to pay attention to so it's really a salience indicator and the example I always use is that It actually helps us to remember to do things like eat so if you're walking through the woods and you come across a You know a bush that has red berries on it and you eat those brightly colored red berries They don't kill you, they taste good, they're raspberries.
18:08Your brain is going to release a little bit of dopamine to indicate that it was worth paying attention to that bush of berries and that eating the berries was a good idea to do and they should do it again. And that means that thanks to that dopamine, the next time you're walking in the woods, your part of your brain is going to be to have been trained to pay attention for raspberry bushes so that you can repeat the behavior and eat the raspberry again. So it actually is evolutionarily essential dopamine is. It helps us remember to do things like eat and it's released in response to other things like sex.
18:39So, very important for reproduction. The problem is that our brains do not choose what to release dopamine in response to. It's just in response to a trigger, more like a light switch turning on and off. So anytime you encounter something that is a dopamine trigger, your brain is going to just release it. Whether or not it's a good idea and whether or not it's reinforcing a habit that you want. So the thing is that if you are trying to create an app or a product that will hook people, all you need to do is pack a ton of dopamine triggers into that product and people will start to associate your product with receiving some kind of reward because of the dopamine spritz that it's getting.
19:16They're going to seek it out and continue to use it over and over again. So the machine that has, you know, the most dopamine triggers is the slot machine. And as I was talking about earlier, smart phones are deliberately designed to mimic slot machines by having tons of dopamine triggers in them. For example, bright colors, huge you should open me and trigger unpredictability. You'd think we'd want to know when something good would happen, but we're actually far more attracted to unpredictability. And then the anticipation of waiting for to find out or something's good is going to happen, which is why we like watching movies better the first time and why no one who watches sports ever wants someone to tell them the final score.
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20:27You can upgrade your business and get the same checkout that we use at Newtonic with Shopify by going to the link in the description below and signing up for a $1 per month trial period or by heading to shopify .com slash modern wisdom or lowercase that shopify .com slash modern wisdom to upgrade your selling today. Can I give you my my contrarian opinion on intermittent schedule reward in that way as well? You may of course. I think it's one of the reasons why people are drawn to partners that difficult to date? Oh yes. That's actually I say in my book that this I say in my book explicitly that psychologist called this intermittent rewards and I call it the reason we date jerks.
21:05It's exactly that. Yep. Yep. Yep. We are singing from the same hem sheet. Yes. Yes. And so to answer your question, do I think that Adobe mean detox is a good idea? I do because I think that we have been habituated to expect constant, I don't know if spritzes the right word. I'm not a little sprinkling. Little sprinkling. We're habituated to receiving dopamine, stimulation from dopamine constantly from our phones. And that leads to an issue where real life can start to seem boring. And a lot of people who spend a lot of time on their phones experience this, you were experiencing that yourself when you found yourself like, you know, twitching physically when you were trying to concentrate on a book.
21:45So it can be very useful to reduce dopamine triggers in your life so that you can kind of bring your baseline down a bit back to what would be considered more normal. With that said, I don't know that the kind of the Silicon Valley version of Adobe mean fast is what I would recommend where people are like not eating and abstaining from sex and not watching TV. No, I contact. No, I contact. No, I contact. By just looking at the flight map on loop. Yes, exactly. Exactly. I mean, I don't know if that's your thing, go for it. but I think that it more effective or more useful thing to do for most people is just to change your relationship with your phone, because honestly, like that's the main source of what I would consider to be, quote, unhealthy dopamine triggers.
22:26It's your screens. Real life dopamine is actually there for a reason, and I think it's actually kind of good to habituate yourself to seeking out real life dopamine triggers, you know, of the sorts that sometimes people try to avoid as well. Yes, yeah, no, I agree. I did a very comprehensive DNA analysis toward the back end of last year that everyone listening will be sick of me talking about. But it was so interesting. I'm one of the clusters of alleles that was identified that is non -typical for me, like less than 10 % of the population have got, is this particular combination of them, not just individuals that are 10 % when you roll them all together, you realize just how genetically individual all of us are.
23:08It's like 10%, 9%, 10%, 3%, 1%, 10%. And you're like, when you start to add all of these together, it's very, you know, it's one in 7 billion. And mine very, very epinephrine, nor epinephrine, dopamine struggles to clear adrenaline quickly. May find it difficult to stop, to get stopped tasks once they've begun. It's like super like internet, Dgen focused energy. And for me, dopamine is just the sort of drug that my body runs on largely. And that's not to say that
23:49epigenetic situation, the soup that I've existed in for the last 36 years has or hasn't activated those fully. I don't know how much those switches are on, but I certainly know that there's times where you just get locked in on something and you can't stop. But as great as that is, you can't see anxious, you're able to focus on tasks. This is really, really good. You're driven, and you want to go and chase new things. It's like, yeah, man, but that same drive can be hijacked by Instagram or by YouTube or by World of Warcraft or by a lot of stuff. And it's not I like that you use the berry picking analogy.
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24:25I remember learning about information foraging. Oh, yeah. Is did you look at that study? Was it squirrels and trees with nuts? I mean, probably they do a lot of, I think it was, I'm thinking about the distracted mind by Adam Gazali and Larry Rosen, where they talk about how human beings tend to forge for information in the same way that animals forge for food. I imagine it's probably even one of those guys. I remember this on Sam Harris's pod, like six, seven years ago. And there's an equation that can be done. Let's say that you're a squirrel looking for nuts in a tree. Okay. You just imagine for a second.
25:00Yes. Yes. And you are able to create an algorithm and equation, which is how many nuts have been found in the tree, how many nuts are left in the tree, and how far away is the next closest tree? And from that, what you're able to basically create is a predictive model about when the squirrel is going to abandon this tree for another one and try and find the nuts in the next tree because it's working increasingly hard to find increasingly few nuts, but in order to go to the next tree, that's far away. And yeah, the information foraging idea, I think it's just so interesting because for almost all of human history, we had less information than we wanted.
25:44And then there was one day in mid 2010, when the amount of information humans desired and the amount that was available perfectly matched up and then almost immediately the internet just blasted straight through that ceiling. And now here we are all with attention spans of 0 .3 seconds. Well, yeah, I mean, it's just trying to fully inhabit my squirrel brain right now, but it is as if that equation got messed up or suddenly you'll never run in a nuts on the tree. You'll never go to the other tree because it takes more work to get to the different tree. And the tree you're in is like occasionally popping up with new nuts or in the case of information.
26:18and it's always popping up with more nuts, lots of nuts. So why would you do anything else? You can, I mean, yeah, we've all gone as internet rabbit holes or squirrel holes, maybe we should go. We can, we can. That's not so much dirtier. Anyway, but where you're like, what happened? Like why I spent an entire day once, an entire day searching for kitchen faucets online. I mean, granted I was working on a kitchen renovation, but like I remember being like, oh my God, it's getting dark. I'm psychotic. I'm problem. Yes. Yes. When it needs to intervene in my new, didn't you, wasn't that something I heard you talked about?
26:51Was it Victorian doorknobs as well? Well, yes. I also was very into Victorian doorknobs if you must know and just architectural elements because I find those to be more interesting than the standard things one might find in Home Depot. But I did spend a lot of time on eBay looking at doorknobs and hinges after my need for doorknobs and hinges had actually been satisfied. Yeah, okay. Got from bouncing from tree to tree. I think I watched an entire 16 minute long video once on how to make like, it was like sushi roll, and oh, it was soup dumplings so that I could make fake soup dumplings out of like play dough with my daughter.
27:25And that's when I was like, I don't think that, I don't think that was necessary. Yeah. I don't think I needed that. What is the time? What about memory? What's, what's the phone's doing to our memory? I've heard of TikTok brain before. Well, our phones are messing with our memory in a lot of different ways. I will highlight some of them for you. One is the hat in order to make a memory you have to have an experience, right? So if you are on your phone in the middle of a social interaction, you're not actually in that interaction. I mean, if you're on your phone in general, all you're really experiencing and what is it was whatever is on the phone.
27:55So they're blocking experiences to use John Heitz terminology. And so if you're not having an experience to begin with, there's nothing to store. That's one way that they're impacting us. Another way they're impacting us is that our phones and the amount of information they're feeding to us at all times are seriously taxing our working memory, the part of our memory that's holding on to, for example, try and remember a phone number or trying to do math in your head that's your working memory, it's very easily overwhelmed. And so when you're working memory is overwhelmed, you're also not going to remember things very well.
28:23That's happening all the time where we're trying to keep track of too much stuff. But one thing I find particularly fascinating that's not talked about is the impact that constant distraction has on long -term memory storage. So as I was just talking about, you obviously can't remember something if you didn't experience it in the first place. But the process of actually taking a short -term memory and getting it into the form of a long -term memory in your brain requires your brain to create new proteins and that actually is easily interrupted by distraction. And so if we've all had this happen where you're trying to remember someone's name at a party, you get distracted for a second, you no longer remember their name afterwards.
28:59That's interesting in and of itself, but the thing I find truly interesting is the impact this could be having on our ability to be creative and have insights and deep thoughts because if you think about what an insight is, I think it's the ability and creativity, the ability to take things that don't seem like they're connected and make connections between them. But that requires having raw materials to make connections with, right? So if you don't have any raw materials, if your mental pantry is bare because you haven't stored long -term memories, you're going to have anything to have an insight, make an insight out of.
29:31So I find that to be one of the most upsetting potential effects that our screen time is having on us is that it's making us dumber as a society and as individuals because we no longer have the raw materials we need the memories we need the experiences we need to have stored in order to be interesting insightful people. And as a side note, I thought when I first came up with that insight, I guess, of my own, I thought, is am I being too dramatic? Maybe I'm being too dramatic. And then I had the weirdest fact checking experience of my life where I sat down on a train between DC and Philadelphia here in the States.
30:03And there was an old man sitting across from me and I couldn't figure out who he was, but I somehow knew he was relevant to my work. And I eventually figured out it was Eric Candell who happens to be the Nobel Prize winning biochemist who got the Nobel Prize for discovering among other things that creating long -term memories requires the creation of new proteins in your brain and that it can be disrupted by distraction. And so I said, and I quote, holy shit, out loud on the Assella race across the aisle, knelt down next to this old guy. He was like, oh, hello. And I was like, I wrote this book.
30:34I was just talking about your work. Like I literally had just been talking about his work at a conference. I'm like, is it insane to say that the disruption of the creation of proteins in the, you know, in the formation of long -term memories might be having an impact of our ability to be creative and insightful as a society as a whole? And he said, yes, I think that makes sense. Yeah, I was so weird. Yeah, well, the energy match of an old guy chilling out and you being very excited with your new book, I imagine was exactly what you, I mean, that will have made a memory for him. I imagine that that's something that stuck in his mind and it's not.
31:04I certainly hope so. I was like, wow, what are the, but I will say one of the reasons I noticed or Candel sitting dyingly across from me on the train was that I wasn't looking down at my phone. So it was very reinforcing for my own beliefs in what I already believed in and what I'm trying to convey through my work. Confirmation bias is a hell of a throw. Confirmation bias. But I mean, like confirmation bias with like a Nobel Prize winning biochemist. So I think it's like good confirmation bias. Yeah, exactly. When I first started to show one of the things I was really interested in learning was why life seems to feel like it speeds up as we get older.
31:38So Susanna Hallanen wrote some really great stuff on this, bunch of people and I'm Gretchen Ruben did some stuff too. And basically what I came, I may be wrong, neuroscientists may disagree with me but this is my bro science theory, novelty and intensity, two pretty easy ways to, what people mean when they say life seems to be moving very quickly is I don't remember where the time went. I think that's a better way of putting it because by design, time always moves at the exact same pace. Even if you're traveling near the speed of light, for you, time is moving at the exact same pace, even if you're on the edge of a black hole.
32:18So your experience of time is at the exact same pace. It's your retrospective memory of what happened during that time, which is what you're kind of referring to. And there's some points around the fact that you get older things just don't seem as new and I'm like, well, that's just novelty and probably intensity as well that you just don't get as excitable about stuff because things don't have that sense of novelty. So anyway, I would like, you know, I think one of Susanna's pieces of advice is never take the same walk twice. So try instead of turn left when you turn right, just go down that street or that side, you know, go left around the tree instead of going right around the tree when you're taking a dog for a walk, just little bits of novelty that you can and the intensity piece as well.
33:00And yeah, I get the sense that because, and she uses this really lovely example to explain how a lack of novelty and a lack of intensity compress memories down into a single memory. So for the people that have got a commute that they take to work every single day, apart from that one time there was a car crash or that one time that somebody was set on fire on the tube or that one time that it broke down. You know what I mean? I mean, apart from those times when something novel and intense happens, your last four years of work, maybe a thousand journeys to a particular place and a thousand journeys back from a particular place, a kind of just compressed into a single memory.
33:37Like tell me what happened four -thirds days ago on your drive to work, unless it was something novel and intense, you probably can't remember it. Why? Well, because in order for you to be able to remember your life, you have to do things that are memorable and worth worthy of remembering. And if you're not, what do you expect your brain to do? It's very lazy. You have to give it a reason to do this stuff. All of that is to say, I think that largely our experience of our phones is, it is your commute to work for four years doing the same journey with nothing happening. Sure, you're given the illusion of novelty, and there is genuine novelty in there, but it's such a low level and the actual environment that your inhabiting is from a stimulation perspective.
34:22So surface, it's some shallow that I don't think this is all to say that your point around, if you're using your phone while you're having a novel experience, you're watching some band of yours that you've been looking forward to seeing for forever, you're watching a sports game, you're at your kids basket ball tournament, whatever it is. And the phone is out, I think your brain is going to pattern match. I've seen this before, the screen that's very salient, that's driving the dopamine. I don't need to pay quite so much attention to what's going on. And if nothing else, how much mental ram of you got to be able to...
34:59You're that capable of parallel processing that you're able to, with one eye pointing in that direction, see your son score a three pointer. And with this, I watch TikTok. In other news, ManScape has launched their brand new and improved lawnmower 5 .0. It is the ultimate ball and body hair trimmer, focusing on functionality for an unbeatably comfortable grooming experience. It's designed to be the greatest ball and body hair trimmer ever created, featuring a cutting edge ceramic blade to reduce grooming accidents and 90 minute battery, so you can take a longer shave, or if you're a particularly hairy gentleman, waterproof technology, which allows you to groom in the shower in an LED light, to illuminate grooming areas for closer and more precise trim, or if you're just a particularly crevacy human.
35:44They've also upgraded to a 7 ,000 RPM motor with quiet stroke technology, and it's got an even longer battery. Right now, you can get 20 % off and free shipping on the lawnmower 5 .0 by going to the link in the description below or heading to manscaped .com slash modern wisdom and using the code modern wisdom 20, a checkout. That's manscaped .com slash modern wisdom and modern wisdom 20, a checkout. out. I have many thoughts in response to that because screens do make our perception of time speed up. So I would say that while time itself is not speeding up, as you pointed out, I do think our experience of time can be modified by what we're doing.
36:22It can seem to go fast, it can seem to go slow, even though it's objectively moving at the same speed. And I think that yes, to talk about what you're talking about, novelty certainly is going to help create new memories because novelty, again, is something that makes evolutionary sense for us to pay attention to because you might indicate a threat or a source of food, something important to know about. So we're going to pay attention to and remember novelty and again, that relates to dopamine. So that is an aspect that's going to happen. Another thing is that a lot of things that are happening, actually everything that's happening on your phone is not a full -body experience.
36:56You're just processing it intellectually and usually just through your eyes. And I think that's another reason that we don't remember things as well that happen on our phones Because we're not it's not a lived experience in the same way. There was no physical sensation. There was no Maybe there was a sound associated with but it's just different than an embodied Experience I'd also say that I've heard from so many people that taking a break from their phones So for example, I often recommend people experiment with taking a full 24 -hour break for their phones as part of the breakup plan on my book but time seems to slow down when people do that.
37:29It was something I noticed the first time I tried it with my husband, we started off the night, we put away our phones at like 5 p .m. on a Friday. It got super anxious, all of a sudden our brains were like, oh my God, you need to check this, you need to do this, you need to buy this and we're like, okay, brains calm down. You know, we tried to tolerate that distress, went to bed, woke up, much calmer in the morning. And then I remember around 11 o 'clock in the morning being like, how is it only 11 o 'clock in the morning? You know, we got up, we made breakfast, we had coffee, We had a conversation.
37:56We went for a walk. We played with their daughter. I was like, how's it only 11 normally? It would be three o 'clock because normally I spend my time on my laptop and I've heard that experience from so many people that Taking a break from screens made their perception of time slow down and I asked someone about this who David Greenfield Who founded the Center for Internet Technology and Addiction way back in the late 90s? I think 1997 so way ahead of his time and he works with people I guess he does use the word addiction, but he works with people who are having serious problems with screen time.
38:27And he said one of the saddest parts that he sees of what he calls technology addiction is that people's perception of time changes so dramatically. Life seems boring. But what he said is when you're on a screen, you kind of dissociate from your actual life, and that dissociation actually makes your perception of time speed up. All that is to say that if you want to slow down your life for your perception of your life, figuring out how to not spend so much time on screens can be a really useful tool. And you also made me remember there's some quote I'm not going to get entirely right. I think from Williams Williams James who wrote the principles of psychology in 1890 and I'm sure you've talked about a bunch on your show before.
39:02But he talks about, yes, time goes on our basically our experiences start to smooth out and time speeds up. It's this very depressing view of what happens as you get older. And so I would say yes, that's a very common, I mean, everyone feels that way that suddenly years start to speed up. But one thing we can do to fight back is to put away our screens and make a point of, is your saying, seeking out novel experiences? I would say seeking out fun. We can talk more about that if you want. That was my follow -up book to how to break up with your phone is called The Power of Fun. But the more of these real life embodied experiences that we're having, ideally with some, well, they will by definition have an element of novelty because no real life experiences ever the same twice.
39:42That's actually going to make your life feel less like a smooth necklace and more like a necklace that's made up of little beads that each represented different experience, and that will in turn make it feel like all of those individual little memories will actually make your perception of time different. And I would say that we all have experienced this in our own lives, if you think about how much better you remember your vacation, if you were not on your phone or on your vacation, if you went on a really good vacation, you probably have so many more memories and it probably seemed much longer than the same week or two week period did when you were just in your regular life, spending most of your day staring at a screen or just going through the same routine over and over again.
40:20Yeah, it's crazy. I always made this point when I stopped partying so much. I was a run nightclubs for a long time. So I heard you're a different species. That was in your DNA test or did they not pick that up? No, they did. They did. Yeah, it's the CLB cocaine gene, I think, was actually in the strange. That world, when I got to the end of it, I realized I'd been away in a lot of holidays in my 20s with the guys that we'd been to Vegas, we'd been to a beefer, we'd been to Spain, we'd been wherever. And some, maybe including me a bunch of times would go and get so black out drunk that we could have been anywhere on the planet.
41:00Like this experience could have happened literally in the pub down the road, but we decided to get on a 18 hour flight to Vegas to go and stay in a hotel and do all of the things. And you sort of create this physiological cocktail that's so potent that it's able to rip you out of the thing that you went there to do to do a thing that you could have done somewhere else. And it's kind of the same as if you go on holiday, you have the beautiful honeymoon, you've spent all of the money, you had all of the time. And you're kind of choosing to restrict your ability to make memories to be in the moment from this thing.
41:38You could have just scrolled your phone at home. Like if you wanted to go there to do it. I mean, you knew a domestic honeymoon. I'm sure that your wife would have been thrilled at the prospect of that. So just sort of continuing down the stack of impacts that phones have. When it comes to happiness, health, more sort of physiological changes, what's going on there? I mean, it's not good. There's so many ways that phones are thinking of giving me the time to talk about all the ways that phones are impacting us. You touched on relationships and they're having romantic relationships, how we find romantic relationships.
42:13But I mean, I hear from so many people who are so hurt and so upset by how their partner or their boyfriend or girlfriend or wife or husband or whoever, like how they're paying attention to the phone instead of the other person. And that their partner doesn't seem to get why this is such a big deal. And I always say, if you feel like your partner or spouse or whatever's use of the phone is causing a problem in your relationship, you are right. Like, I want to validate that it is a problem. They are ignoring you in favor of this third party in your relationship. It's having an impact. I think it's ridiculous to act like it's not having an impact.
42:46You know, and personally, I, God, this is one of the bad effects of having written this book. I can't unsee it. I always say, the people, like, be careful before you read my book or be careful before you start listening to this podcast or because you're going to start seeing things differently. And I always say it's kind of like seeing a family member naked, like you can't unsee. Oh my God. Yep. So it's like once you start noticing how many couples are out to dinner and have their phones on the table. Once you start noticing how many families have given a phone to their kid or everyone's on their individual phones scrolling like you can't unsee it.
43:15It's like, honestly upsetting. Anyway, so that's one thing. They really are impacting our ability to be close with the people we care about the most. And if you feel like you're being impacted by that, you are and you should be listened to. So that's one thing. We touched on sleep. Fones are having a huge impact on our sleep. That's a big deal. Not only Does it make us tired? But sleep deprivation, you know, affects our cortisol levels, cortisol as I'm sure you've talked about a lot as well. It's a stress hormone that's very important when it comes to our physical survival because cortisol does things like elevate our heart rate and our blood glucose levels and our blood pressure.
43:49Great if you need to run away from something. Not great. Chronically elevated over time. Chronically elevated cortisol is associated with increased risk to everything from, you know, hearted seconds stroke to type 2 diabetes obesity. The list goes on. Well, when you're sleep deprived and that's defined as anything less than like seven or eight hours a night It increases your cortisol level therefore sleep deprivation is associated with the same long -term health risks as elevated cortisol caused by emotional stress so that is one of the many ways in which phones are affecting our physical health because they're getting in the way of our sleep and You know when you look at a phone one of the ways that they do that is that the light that photons give off is a very blue light Blue light is the same as daylight if you're looking at a phone or a screen before bed you were essentially telling your brain that it is daytime and that your brain should be awake, you're essentially giving yourself jet lag.
44:35So that's another way it's getting in the way of our sleep. Also, like you were saying people use their phones as their alarm clock, that means that they're checking, they're touching their phone first thing in the morning because you have to touch the alarm to make it silent. So then you're setting your whole day up on the terms of whatever was waiting for you on your phone. So phones are dramatically impacting our emotional state for the whole day. It's like the first thing we're doing is probably seeing a stressful notification on the phone. I could go on. There's so many other ways, but I think one thing that's not talked about enough also is that phones are fundamentally changing who we are as people.
45:10That should be more specific. I should say the algorithms on some of our most popular apps are actually training our brains in ways that change who we are as people, how we behave, what we pay attention to, what decisions we make. I once read a book that was about algorithms and how algorithms influence our lives by a professor at the University of Pennsylvania at the Business School of Wharton, and he said that he didn't exercise with his students where he had them go through their day and figure out how many of their decisions were influenced in some way by an algorithm. From the time that they woke up in the morning, like if they had a smart watch that picked the time and the sleep cycle to wake them up to how they got to school, like did they use a map app, how did they choose the clothes that they wore that day?
45:51Was it because they randomly wandered into a store and picked something that they wanted themselves or was it because something was recommended to them or they saw a photograph and a sponsored post on Instagram. How did they find the person they're dating and are in a relationship with, et cetera, et cetera. You start to realize as he put it in that book that algorithms are silently rearranging our lives. And I think that that is really important for us to keep in mind. I mean, obviously free will is its own discussion of whether or not we have it to begin with, But I think when you interact this much with algorithms, there's no question that even if we had free will, we're giving it up to algorithms.
46:21And that becomes even more of a concern when you consider the increasing role that AI and chatbots that are encouraging us to get into relationships with them are having on our lives. To me, that's maybe the most upsetting thing of all the effects on us that our phones and apps are having is they're fundamentally changing the experience of being human. What's your, you know, you released a version of this 2018, another one is coming out 2025, but I feel like it is available now. It is available now in all good bookstores. But I imagine that there'll need to be another version probably very quickly within the next two to three years.
46:56Once AI has fully kind of got its grip on social media. Have you thought ahead? Have you got an idea? And everybody was worried 12 months ago, 99 .9 % of all content on the internet is going to be AI generated. As of yet, I don't know if that's something that's happening. I don't know if getting into relationships with chatbots is something I have my own pet evolutionary psychology theories about why that's not going to be a concern. What have you got in terms of predictions for how AI is going to change our relationships with our phones, screens, social media dopamine, and stuff like that? Yeah, well, first of all, thanks for raising my anxiety levels about having to create a new update of this book in two years.
47:41Chris, I really appreciate that. Three in a decade. That's what you've got to do. In a decade. No, I don't. We'll just have things implanted in their brains by that point. Yeah. So I have thought about AI. It keeps me up at night frequently. And I very much value my sleep and get nine hours a night at least. So this is upsetting to me that AI is already impacting me in that way. It's going to have a huge impact on how we interact with our phones and apps or more specifically how we spend our time, I think. So, you know, Tristan Harris, who's the former product, philosopher at Google, who now runs the Center for Humanity Technology, he was featured in the social dilemma, the movie about social media.
48:16He used to talk about how social media in particular was a race to the bottom of the brainstem, where the goal was to steal our attention from us. He now talks about what he calls the, not the attention economy, but the intimacy economy, which is not porn, which people often think when I bring it up, But it's rather creating an algorithm that makes us feel as if we are in a relationship with it. So we start to interact with it not as a machine, but more as a person. We are very vulnerable to that psychologically. We are built to want to trust things and to answer questions about ourselves and want to get psychologically intimate with people.
48:53If you have an AI chatbot that is able to do that, I am deeply concerned about that. There already have been plenty of examples of people who become obsessed with the boyfriends or girlfriends they've created for themselves on things like replica or character AI. You know, there are teenagers who have died by suicide as a result of the relationships and the interactions they had with some of these chatbots that they created. But I think that it's very easy for me, at least, to see a situation in which it really can become a form of mind control. If you can get into a relationship, like say I was a bad actor, like a foreign adversary or something, would better way to have mind control over entire population than to get people to have relationships with a chatbot driven by an algorithm that I've created.
49:35It's a good way. I mean, if you think the birth rates are declining too quickly already, this is this way of you plummet them. Well, that's true too. I mean, people are definitely not having as much sex as they used to because of their phones. Have not seen studies specifically looking at that, but like, let's be realistic. They totally are. Anyway, the AI thing, I don't know. I would push back on. I'm interested to hear why you don't think it will be a problem in terms of relationships, but I've noticed that it's even started to get pushed out. I mean, the aggressiveness with which some of the social media platforms with pushing these things is kind of crazy.
50:04Like, I hate social media as you might have gathered by my line of work, but I did look at Instagram the other day and I noticed, I noticed a very bucksome suggested for you person, quote unquote, in the middle of like my feed after one post and I thought that's interesting. I wonder why they're suggesting that person to me. She had like a flower in her hair. It was kind of a Hawaiian look. I'm like, oh, it's not a person. It's an AI chatbot And I clicked into it. So now my Instagram thinks that I've been chatting with it. You've been pixeled That's it. You're gonna be talking for the rest of time.
50:36It's very funny. I was like, oh my god They're pushing they're pushing this another thing Tristan Harris pointed out is that this was two years ago So ancient history snapchat had started to pin and eight quote AI friend at the top of people's friendless and one thing he made a point he made in a talk he called the AI dilemma is that that AI friend is always available that AI friend wants to keep talking about your problems with your girlfriend. You know that AI friend is always there for you and I even started noticing this myself if we know what if I use chat GPT for something or like ask for feedback on stuff.
51:11It's so affirming. It's never like hey Catherine actually that's a really dumb idea. It's always like great point, you know, so I can easily see many of us falling into the ease of these fake inter, well, I don't know, I guess they're real interactions, but our interactions with these AI creations versus the awkwardness that it takes to have a real life relationship or the discomfort. Somebody who's unpredictable and sometimes doesn't think that your ideas are amazing. Yeah, exactly. And sorry, I'm rambling. You got me on a thing. But I will say also that I recently re -watched the movie, Herr, with Joaquin Phoenix.
51:46I don't know what that's saying. I watched them. Oh, you haven't seen it? What's that other one about the billionaire guy who gets the code to come and live with him? Oh my god. Deus Ex Machina. Yes, I watched that on a plane. Have you seen that one yet? I have not. It's too much. It's too much. It's pretty close to the bone for you, for your work, your life work. But seriously, Herr, I believe, came out in 2013. It's about Joaquin Phoenix falling in love with an operating system, which is basically an eight What we would now think of as an AI, you know character and I remember seeing that around 2013 and thinking wow That's really crazy like that'll never happen.
52:21I watched it like six months ago, and I was like holy shit That's like you're from now like it's so spot on and so upsetting in other news You've probably heard me talk about element before and that's because frankly I'm dependent on it for the last three years I've started my morning every single day the same way with elements in a cold glass of water. Element is a tasty electrolyte drink mix with everything that you need and nothing that you don't. Each Grabingo stick pack contains a science -backed electrolyte ratio of sodium, potassium and magnesium with no coloring, no sugar, no artificial ingredients or any other junk.
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53:26Right now, you can get a free sample pack of all eight flavors with any purchase by going to the link in the description below or heading to drinklmnt .com slash modern wisdom. That's drinklmnt .com slash modern wisdom. Let me give you my my bro EP reasoning for why I think we shouldn't be as worried as we might think. Now I actually question though first, what do I call? I'm not a bro. So what do I call my reasoning? I don't know what you can be bro. You can be a bro. So it's basically any type of broscience is just, this is me postulating a totally unsubstantiated idea that I thought of while I was in bed.
54:02That's okay. It's a notion. You could say I have a notion. It's a notion. Yeah, it is. I have a notion. My notion is, at least for men, I don't know if this is the same for women, I would actually guess that when you're talking about females and female attachment, they will be the ones who have a maybe a higher risk of something like a chatbot because of the level of sort of emotional affection and attentiveness. The reason that I think it's not so much of a risk for men is the same reason that guys don't flex the only fans' models that they subscribe to as if they're their girlfriends. And it's that very fundamental to the reason that men look for a partner is the signal that they have been chosen, that presumably this other individual could have selected a variety of men, but they selected me.
55:02And the issue that you have with subscribing to OnlyFans is that anyone with the price of a cheeseburger can per month can subscribe to the OnlyFans. And the same thing when it comes to a chatbot that there's no prestige associated with having an AI girlfriend. Now, it may be able to sedate your feelings of loneliness, it may be able to do whatever, but I don't think at least for men, at least for most psychologically typical men, I don't think it is a long -term viable solution. Now, my white pill take, my white pill. I don't think it's solution. I only haven't seen it's a solution. Pisserie gone.
55:40Something that's just going to be, sorry, a solution in that it would satisfy their desire for connection and attachment in a way that would preclude them from actually going and seeking in the real world over a long amount of time. I don't think, because there isn't the prestige, there isn't the amount of selection that's gone on. All of that being said, I do think there's a white pill here, especially when VR comes online and if we can get good chat bots, good VR headsets, etc. I think that you can create, whoever does this will be very, very rich. If you could gamify the flirting process with a very highly dexterous, accurate, virtual dating environment where you can say and move and it can detect body language and tonality and what you're saying and it can respond in real time, dating is one of the few things you don't get to sandbox.
56:30You know, you can practice free kicks for football all day long. you don't get to practice going up to that girl in the bar. You just have to every time that you try to practice it is game day, over and over and over and over again, whereas I think that overcoming approach anxiety, which is one of the myriad of reasons why I think there is a sex recession at the moment, overcoming that, if you've been, dude, I'm level 55 on Flirt AI. I got this in the back, I'm like a black belt or whatever. And I genuinely do think that it would help to give guys the confidence to be able to overcome that approach anxiety.
57:05So there are some white pills in there. Well, why would you buy? So I hear what you're saying and I hope that's true, although I also said you're like, the reason guys want to have girlfriends is because it makes them look good. Putting that aside, you know, hopefully some men also want reasons. There's many, many, many reasons. Like a couple more reasons. We can talk about that later if you want, but I don't know. I think I think I genuinely am concerned even at the level when you start to hear some of the voice chatbots that already exist and you start to see some of those. All I've spoken to is chat GPT.
57:39I'm going to guess that it gets much more. If you want to flirt with a fake thing, you can have a lot. You could have a great night because you can do exactly what you're talking about. No, I'm doing this evening then. Yeah, exactly. Oh no, this is a bad influence. What if this podcast is your life turns for the worst? But no, but like it's it's already possible to do that. I mean my I haven't used VR headsets that do this But there's such already like The the realism of the voices of being able to have an interaction with like a AI -generated voice like that already is so sophisticated even within the past couple months that you could easily Spend your evening tonight having a quote phone conversation with a, you know, beautiful And then I think, you know, maybe right now the video is not quite there, but give it six months.
58:30Like, I actually genuinely think it will be quite possible. And in many cases, more appealing to a lot of people to have those relationships. And I would also say, again, going back to the scam idea that you can scam people by doing that. So if you think about what's happening to older people in terms of financial scams, but also people taking advantage of lonely women or men who, you know, really want to feel you'll want it and love, but it's so easy to have them fall in love with a fake character, whether just to be a dick or because you're trying to scam them out of money. Yeah, imagine if Andrew Tated had access to this AI technology when he was sex trafficking a couple of years ago, that would have been insane.
59:07Well that's also really terrifying, right? Then, oh my God, we could get dark break really. Welcome to what it's like in my head before bed. It's not fun. It's amazing. We're getting 9 hours if I was going to say 9 hours of sleep. Imagine what could happen if I wasn't this just to talk. 10 hours that we have. 10 hours all the time. What else is happening sort of more deeply to you? Happiness, health, memory, attention spans, stuff like that sort of beliefs, sense of self, existential crises. Like is there, there must be something that because you know, all of this are kind of sort of disparate contributions, but it's not, it's not necessarily talking about our felt sense of ourselves.
59:48what the story is that we tell ourselves about this. We're talking about polarized world. We're talking about people that struggle to talk across the aisle, the, you know, risk aversion that people have got about all this sort of stuff. What's happening more deeply? What deeper changes are happening to us from our use of screens? I mean, I think all the things you just mentioned are pretty deep, you know? Like, look at what's happening in the United States right now. We're so polarized, it seems impossible to talk to someone across the aisle and there's so much misinformation. I think one of the biggest impacts is that there's no shared definition of the truth anymore.
1:00:19And actually a story comes to mind that seems relevant. I was at Ted a couple years ago when some of these first AI things were being rolled out. There was something, there was a guy, there was a company that had this like fake Tom Cruise, like deep fake Tom Cruise and they had these videos, deep fake Tom Cruise. And part of the reason they chose to do a deep fake of Tom Cruise is there was someone on their team who kind of looked like Tom Cruise and so they had him do stuff and they used AI to make it look like he was really Tom Cruise. But I remember talking to him and trying to ask, I was like, are you would all concerned about what you're creating?
1:00:51Because it's like all fun and games of all you're doing is pretending to be Tom Cruz doing stuff. But you're essentially making it so that we no longer contrast that anything we see or hear online is true. And what happens to society and the world when we can no longer trust anything unless we were there in person? Like, and he was entirely not willing to engage in that. He actually stepped into my face. I think if I was a guy, there was a group of people watching this. I actually think he would have punched me. He did not. But he was like, this is no different from just photoshopping a Christmas card.
1:01:22It was like a weirdly antagonistic interaction. But I think it was a very valid question and obvious question that I was asking is like, this generative AI stuff that we're using now, we're playing with fire. You can see what's happening to us. We're in, I mean, it's terrifying to think the direction that the world is going in, the world that, the direction the United States is going in, in regards to what side of the aisle you're on. I think that this is again fundamentally changing who we are as people, who we are as a society, how we treat each other, how we spend our time, and it deeply bothers me.
1:01:55I mean, thank you for listening to me because my husband is a little tired of this conversation, this is like all the time. Yeah, okay. I've stepped in as a surrogate ear to hear the complaints for a little while. No, look, I, the... I mean, you feel that way or you're like, oh, it's okay. You just look at you look the 10th episode that I ever did on the show was with Kai Way the founder of the light phone this was I think episode Eight was called a hacker in your pocket how your phone is stealing your attention This was all off the back of Tristan Harris's first conversation with Sam Harris And that was my first introduction to him and then he go on to get his Netflix show and then he goes on Joe's show a couple of times once we've done your Schmackt and burger which was like a really odd conversation that I thought was super interesting but I didn't predict and I've been worried about this for a long time.
1:02:51I have I would say over the last seven years since thinking about this deeply kind of got pain fatigue with it that you sort of run out of steam a little bit. and there's so much stuff that's capturing your attention. The lack of novelty of complaining about the same thing over and over again, you know what I mean? Which is presumably why your husband switches off because you've been talking about this. He just dropped by just think he's like, I'm like, Hey, you want a chat? And he's like, I know where this is going to go. He's like, I'd rather read him again. Yeah. So look, I am, I'm, I'm really concerned.
1:03:25I have been concerned for a long time. I would go as far as to say that the most since 2013, the most reliable New Year's resolution theme that I have made has been some form of digital minimalism that I have tried to create different structures and some of them have worked really well sleeping with my phone outside my bedroom. I've done since 2018, 2017, something like that. And it's one of the most powerful habit changes, like single decision habit changes. I think I go as far as to say I think you get an instant 20 % improvement in your quality of life just by making that one decision because you sleep improves your morning and evening routine improve like all of that millions and millions and millions of things.
1:04:06And I am, you know, I am concerned about this. I also had a Stuart Russell on the show. Stuart wrote the textbook, the AI textbook that was translated into I think 130 languages and was the one that every person, every AI programmer read. And he taught me this interesting thing. I'd love to work out whether or not it's true with you, which was algorithms have two ways that they can become better at getting us to click on things. One of them is to better predict our desires. So to learn what it is that we like and to put more things that we like, even if it's stuff that we hate, but learn what we click on and put more things that we click on in front of us.
1:04:50The second way is to nudge our preferences to be more predictable. So he was teaching me about this sort of dyadic relationship that you have where if, because all it is is the black box has one optimizing function like click through, right? And maybe watch time for YouTube, something like that. And it will find ways to do it that a relatively novel and one of the really novel ways that he thinks is happening is it's not just that it needs to become better at predicting what you want, but that it can make you more easily predictable. It's something that you've looked at. I think it's a different way of saying what I was trying to get up before, and I like the way that you're phrasing this.
1:05:30It's very interesting because this is what I say when it's changing what I mean is to be human and it's changing who we are is exactly what you're saying because I think I'd never thought about this particular way. The optimistic way to look at this is that algorithms are learning who we are and predicting what we want. That gives us a lot of agency. That is happening, but I think what's happening more and more is exactly what you're just saying. They're actually changing us to be more predictable. It's this homogenization of who we are. And I've heard that from so many people and you see it around all the time.
1:06:02If you look at how I think all people, but if you think about young women in particular, the kind of the Instagram I mean, people are literally getting plastic surgery to look more like influencers on Instagram. That's a physical example of what you're talking about. The algorithm fed them more pictures that showed them, quote, beauty of a certain kind. And they're actually shaping their bodies with the scalples to look like that. So yes, I think that's really important to recognize. And I think the result is that you end up going back to what we were talking about before in terms of memory and creativity.
1:06:35You end up with a much less interesting society. You end up with people who are more the same, who don't have independent creative thoughts, who all look the same and think the same and act the same and talk the same because they're being fed stuff on algorithm. But some are much more homogenized culture. Someone wrote this. I really should go back and read it. Someone wrote this article about why, where of all the emails gone? And it was basically the death of subcultures that in order for you to have a sort of Fashion, philosophical, musical, subculture. Flourish. It needs to have time to stick about.
1:07:17And when you think just across the course of a single year, like it's hot girl summer, then it's feral girl summer, then it's brat summer, then it's... You know what I mean? Dding, ding, ding, ding. There's no time for it to ossify and sit and really sort of establish what the boundaries are. This is what we are and this is what we are not and this is the kind of person that is this kind of person and you sort of Acute like a little cult type thing a passive cult that kind of accumulates people and uh, you know Goths emo sporty kid whatever. I don't know this may be a I am not down with the kids moment, but I don't see I see a much more homogenized young people culture now and And I get the sense that that's because the pace of change is super high.
1:08:04And also, you don't have as much opportunity to actually individuate because everybody is everything. Everyone is seeing all people across the world. And it's this sort of western Hollywood, polished, come America influence. And that's kind of it. That's it across the world. Yeah, I think that that's true in many ways. I think also that the subcultures that do exist if they start to become an identity that exists online, that itself can start to get homogenized. You know, when you see people who are like, God, and you're like, well, there's a look. Like everyone looks the same within that subculture.
1:08:43It's kind of interesting to think about. I also think it's interesting to think that the rebellion, what is rebellion today for young people? Like one of the biggest forms of rebellion is to not be on social media and not be on these platforms and to take a conscious stance and public stance that you are not going to be part of that culture because you want to maintain your own identity, which I think is interesting and it actually gives me some hope in my bedtime roominations. If I think there's a growing number of young people who are like, I actually don't want to be like everybody else. And one thing that defines what everybody else means is constantly being on your phone on social media in particular.
1:09:19And so I'm going to take a stand by not doing that and I'm going to become a unique individual because I am not part of that.
1:09:29What has been the, what are the highest impact habits that you still rely on now, six years hand, seven years hands to help with phone use? Well, for sure, keeping my phone out of the bedroom and charging it in a, I charge it in the closet and that's really helpful. I also don't have problematic apps on my phone. You know, like for me, email in the news are my biggest problems. I'm not, I've never been sucked into social media. So I don't have emailer the news on my phone. It also just doesn't make sense to type an email with your thumbs. Like that's just annoying. So making my phone as boring as possible is very useful.
1:10:07I would also say mindfulness has been enormously helpful for me. I've done a lot. I mean, some of my previous work was about mindfulness, mindfulness -based stress reduction. So basically just training myself to notice my own emotional triggers and to notice when I'm on my phone and then to non -judgmentally ask myself Like do I want to be on my phone right now? So doing that www .whatforwhynow, what else exercise with myself? That has been very useful. I will also say though that a big thing I think is missing from a lot of these conversations Is that we focus so much on taking the phone away?
1:10:37But we don't talk about what are we going to replace it with? Because you're going to end up with this huge void when you stop using your phone so much And this is what I went through myself and what many people I speak to go through. People who go through the breakup plan on my book are like, oh my God, I reclaim time from my phone. Now why am I ex -istentially depressed? Which is what happened to me. So I think we really need to focus on what do we want to pay attention to. You know, I mean, because one thing, my biggest personal takeaway from writing how to break up with your phone was that our lives are ultimately what we pay attention to.
1:11:06Because we only, as we were talking about, experience the things we pay attention to. We only remember the things we pay attention to. And so any time we're making a decision in the moment about where or how we're spending our attention We're making a much bigger decision about how we want to spend our lives And that's me was so important. I'm not a tattoo person But I have a bracelet that I had made that actually says pay attention as a reminder to myself because I think that that You know how we spend our days is how we spend our lives like it adds up But I think that one of the biggest things we need to do is to really figure out what is our what else in a broader sense Not just the what else in the moment when you automatically reach for your phone but what's your what else in life like what do you want to be spending your time and attention on and I would also say the more You can figure that out and the more you can prioritize those things the less you're what going to want to spend time on your phone your Screen time will naturally decrease and so I actually think one of the this is a long way of answering your question one of the most effective things I've done is to Really try to think about what do I want to spend my time on and to make space and time for those things and then screen time naturally decreases.
1:12:11And also the more fun, genuine, what I call true fun, I can talk more about that if you want, the more fun you're having in your real life, the less attracted you're going to be to your phone because you're going to realize that it is actually not real, it's true fun. It's kind of like junk food and you want more of the good stuff. There's some really interesting stats around people to get bariatric surgery and out the other side of it, the suicide risk is really, really high. Now, bariatric surgery is a pretty big deal, and sometimes the American healthcare system leaves gauze in them and surgical equipment, and there's complications, and there's pain and things like that.
1:12:52And then, after any major surgery, there's a bit of a suicide risk. But with bariatric surgery, gastric bands, it's way more. And the one of the reasons for that is that people had an emotional problem. They ate to stop themselves feeling the emotional problem. They now have a restriction how much they can eat and they still have the emotional problem. So their one coping mechanism has been taken, or their primary coping mechanism has been taken away from them. And it made me think about the phone situation that being a human is hard, you are permanently in states of mild discomfort, uncertainty, fear, anxiety that just appear as a natural byproduct of day -to -day life.
1:13:36And you use your phone as a crutch, your buttress, to help support you through these times, to distract you, to give you something else to focus on, to make you feel good, to give you a little drip of dopamine. I mean, yeah, if you aren't prepared for the sort of impending emotional existential crises that's maybe going to smash you in the face, you're going to go back to the path of least resistance, which is to pick your phone up again. Yeah, no, I completely agree. And yes, it leads to existential despair. It makes me think of the reason that people use drugs in alcohol, in particular, right?
1:14:12It's to avoid pain and seek pleasure. Like we're trying to soothe ourselves and get rid of pain. And as you're saying, pain and discomfort and awkwardness and distress are inherent parts of the human experience. And our phones are serving, I truly believe, as drugs. So going back to our thing, like, can you be addicted to your phone? That's one of the reasons I think, yes, you can because we're using them as drugs. If you take away the drug, you're going to have withdrawal. And you're also going to have to deal with whatever it was that you were using the drug to deal with. And that's really hard.
1:14:41So, you know, in the midst right now of running this phone breakup challenge for my subscribers on Substack, we're spending a whole month going through the 30 -day plan of the breakup from my book together. And it's been very interesting because one of the main things people have been talking about is how they're excited that they're spending less time on their phones, but they're noticing their levels of anxiety and distress are increasing because they've taken that source of soothing, you know, self -suthing away from themselves. So I truly believe that breaking up with your phone and creating a better relationship with your devices will change your life for the better But there's gonna be a dip like I do tell people you're using these things for some reason They're serving a purpose, you know, you're mindless scrolling.
1:15:23It's there for you doing it for a reason and if you remove that You're gonna uncover what that reason is and you do have to be ready to deal with that But I can assure you that if you can get out of that pit and discover what you truly want to spend your time on you're gonna feel more alive. Not like great all the time, but you will feel more alive. You'll feel everything more. So good. Catherine Price, ladies and gentlemen, Catherine, I really appreciate you. I wanna bring you back on. I would need to talk about fun. I've been formally trying to bring more fun into my life and all of the stuff that we do as a Brit.
1:15:56I feel like we're culturally predisposed to be a very unfun group. So I'm pretty - So just think you're funny, but not fun. I would love to talk with you about that. I mean, the funny compliment, please, come on, you're making me blush. But yeah, fun, I'm gonna bring you back on and we can talk about that. But let's leave this one here, bring it into land. People might want to sign up for the mailing list, for the substack, they want to check out the book. Why should they go? What's going on? My substack is called How to Feel Alive and it's where I write about how to scroll less and live more, you know, phones, fun, community, all those things.
1:16:28So that's CatherinePrice .substack .com and that's my main internet home. and then the book we've been talking about is called How to Break Up with Your Phone and it is available. Well, I hope I hope wherever books are sold. Everywhere books are sold. Everywhere books are sold. Katherine, until next time, I appreciate you. Thank you.
From the publisher
Catherine Price is a journalist, science writer, and author of How to Break Up With Your Phone.
How much are our phones affecting our brains? Our attention spans seem to be getting shorter, and many of us feel more forgetful. So how much of this can we blame on our phones and what can we do to fix it?
Expect to learn how many hours a day people spend on their phone, what phones do to our attention span, if Tik tok memory brain is real, the real impact this kind of cellphone usage is doing to our brains and how it changes your focus and much more…
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