#937 - Jeremy Renner - How To Overcome The Worst Pain Of Your Life

26:05I'm like, oh, because it was so great. I'm like, oh, it's so great. That was such a good time. Because I was going, because I did sort of regulate breathing and then it just started to slow, heart restarted a little slow. It was like 18 beats per minute. It wasn't just sort of like I just croaked right? It just kind of, it was just smoothly into it. It was just gently away and like later everyone, it was great. And it's something brought me back. Like god damn it. I tell my eyeball again. My god, dude, I'm in this busted body. I'm in this busted body again. I'm like, all right. Here we go. Just get back into it.

26:42So it wasn't No one was I mean C. P. I would have no no no no no it wasn't for very long. It's only like like you know My neighbor because it just happened to my neighbor The day before when she saw our uncle die. What? Yeah Yeah, I think it was her uncle or no it was her brother, I think it was her uncle. And it just happened to her then she and she happened to be working in the medical field anyway. So it's kind of a great thing having kind of a nurse be your neighbor. But yeah, she said, yeah, I saw you go and yeah, cause all your face turns to these colors and it's like a lizard or a chameleon or something.

27:19Nane rate. So I don't think it was gone for very long, but it didn't really matter, I suppose. I guess not dead enough to have, you know, brain dead, you know, or whatever. Or maybe I'm brain dead now. What does, I've always, I've always wondered this. What does looking at your own eye look like? You know, it's one of those, it's a queer situation, you know? Just like looking at your foot facing the wrong direction and then your other leg, that's not a joint. It was broken and shattered like there's twisted all like a pretzel. I knew that it's supposed to hurt Did it? No, I don't hurt later. I'll worry about that problem later and just like that.

28:00I'm like, ah man And I rolled my face on it. It's like let me put that thing on ice because I was like laying on an icy asphalt So let me ice that thing You know, I thought about that dude, right? Yeah, I said it is funny, right? But that's what I thought about I'm like, oh, do you think I can put that on ice and I had my nephew lift my arm just so I can breathe there was like conscious, my hyper -hyper -focused conscious stuff was to survive. So you had a look? And I went through every checklist of my body. I have a strong, strong awareness of my body as well as an athlete, as a stunt performer, also as an actor.

28:35It is my instrument to even act. So I'm very, very aware of my body, how it works, all the things. So to my knowledge, I don't know all the things, but at least I know the basics of how my body should operate. So I'm just constantly going through, like, you know, would it really initially felt like for my breathing was like when you get, when you lose your wind, you get kicked in the stomach or punched in the stomach, it's that suffocating trying to find your breath, right? It's what it sounds like on the non -wine colleges, like just, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's just, you can't get air in, right?

29:08It's like you're cramping and you're diaphragm. So I kept like, if I get this cramp out of my diaphragm, I can get a deep breath in. I mean, this is never coming, but I keep telling myself. Because as long as I mean relax, I mean relax, I mean see if I can just get this, the immediate is get that air in. If you're not getting air in, your immediate thing you need in your life is air in, right? Pretty obvious. So start there, just try and work through that and getting my body to be in a place so I can get air in. And eventually it got to that place where he had to hold it in a very specific, my arm up in a specific way so I can breathe.

29:41I could start regulating the painful way to now I the new way I breathe the one on push up breathing type of thing a lot of effort and Yeah, it's that but all the mental part of that is is the main thing that got me through initially that sort of mental focus No one was gonna help me breathe no matter who is there who who could have done it or not nobody could have. I was the only one that was going to be able to make myself breathe and any way possible. No one knew exactly what was wrong or how sorry I just kind of flattened my heads, crushed you know, the blood everywhere. So they're thinking of a lot of different things.

30:24I'm like fuck all y 'all, I just need to breathe in so I can breathe out. I'd even use expletives to help me laugh. Didn't sweat once. I always say I had all these, yeah, it was Hooker's horse and hamburgers. I would scream out, because the huffing of the eight sound would make me laugh. Huh. Huh. Huh. Hooker. Huh. Right. Ha. I had to do that to get air out. So I could stuck air, but also have a laugh. That's my eyeball. That's my twisted ass legs. Yeah. I already died. What else needs to happen? Now this is my body. It's my body. I'm owning it. So those are the sense humor I even had. if you can in that horrifying, you know, drawn out 45 minutes, you know.

31:12And then you get that. There's no, there's no, there's no like rulebook, there's no like directions and like how to, how to overcome something like that, right? We're not taught how to do anything. You didn't have a blueprint of all that. You just do what you can do. What do you got? And everybody say yes to everything. Do whatever works, right? It's fascinating how much mental clarity you had. Yeah, yeah. You had to. How to. I was dead if I passed out I'd have been dead. I wouldn't be sitting here. I'd be dead There are too far high up in the mountains. No one could have gotten to me Of course you so high up in the mountains that even breathing normally I imagine is a little bit more difficult The most normal people yeah, so maybe my body's also prepared for it I also have you know higher high -emotional oxygen in my body said you work on that stuff and but There's no one thing but the mental part of it was the one thing that did get me through at least to the next exhalation.

32:03And then that got me, it bought some time. You know, I came back for whatever reason, and then the paramedics got there shortly after, and then they had to, you know, do the crazy thing in your chest, they stabbed your chest, like it's some movie, something. And what did they, they're trying to re -inflate the lung? Either that or release pressure. Right. Don't ask me, I'm not, and I, I didn't go into the details of it. Yeah. Even after the fact I had to worry about other things than the scar on my chest. I could care. I couldn't care. But they come at it's the guy that's choking on something and they put it in the neck.

32:37Yeah, it's kind of like that. And in the neck. It's pretty much like that. And I go, oh, I got that happen. Right, right? But yeah, then they could also get, you know, fentanyl and all that stuff in the ear and sort of mitigate the pain. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. Yeah. So I think that's when things got a little when they were when they started cutting my clothes off. I'm like, I relinquish my duties now. I mean, someone else's. I give my body to you. I did the best I could. But now, I, you know, so I think they're already having me regulating my breathing or using a pump to kind of regulate the breathing a bit more.

33:13So I didn't have to like consciously fight for every breath. So I just said I give my body up. I'm done. And I just let them go for it. And thank God for them and one was my friend or friend of my friend one of my best friends Uh, he was a firefighter. He's a fire. He just retired and then the guy that the jabbing and stuff He had to call my body and they look red or just got hell lifting out of here Sorry, we did the best we could

33:42Dude You get that phone call, you know, it's brutal man So brutal dead well my friend had to get that phone call But anyway, all these little moments that keep flooding back, talking about it, you know.

34:01Such grief, they're all, it all represents love to me, you know. If I catch any feelings, like I don't get triggered with rage, I don't get triggered with disappointment or sadness ever. It's a trigger with an overwhelming sense of love, gratitude. something I hope never goes away. I can't imagine a will. Kind of like alchemy. Yeah. To take something like that and to see all of the love that came pouring back in. Yeah. I mean, it's the ultimate thing that got me through. It's the only thing you take with you and you die is the love. It's such a beautiful, beautiful space, place, and a loving space.

34:58And then you come back around in the ICU, presumably. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was pretty much, I was, yeah, I had to put me in a coma and get to work. There's a lot of life -saving stuff that I do initially. I don't know about any of those things. Even to this day, I don't know all the things that they had to do. I don't care what I'm doing. You know, you have to move my ball back in. I know there's duct tape on my eye. Again, whatever works, dude. What's in my body? It's just hammer and screws and a pipe that they've hammered through my knee to down here and screws and plates and it's very like sort of this carpentry work.

35:38So putting duct tape in my face to put whole my eyeball back in, you know, it's just, you know, this is how you do it. You're gonna use what you've got. You use what you got and that's what we did. And it's what worked. My vision of my left eye is better than my right eye now. You're kidding. It's better. Yeah. Yeah, it's amazing. I don't recommend that. So what I'm interested in is when, and you've sort of hinted at this already, when the pain starts to kick in. Yeah. Well, that was the initial,

36:17from all the, every synapse is fire, every thing your brain is lit up because when you're crushed, everything was, I didn't never experience the feeling like that in my life. It's like, if you hit a hammer on your thumb, you're like, I'm on the pucker, but like on every inch of your body, it's like, what is going on? There's so much information. You don't know what to pay attention to. So that was very confusing. The pain was everywhere and everything, even like in your spirit, it took everything was, you know, you don't know what was going on. So it was very confusing. It was very bright. lot of flashing, you know, because it looks like a lightning strike that happened when my skull cracked and the eye came out.

37:02So weird that I'm talking about this. When my skull cracked, but yeah, yeah, because I don't look like it happened. Right? Yeah. Yep. Um, there's like a lightning strike and you know, you start missing with, I don't know, it was such an overload felt like it was like, you know, you got to tear off the power because there's an overload of information, overload of pain, all your nerve endings are like on fire. Like it was like fiery hot lava. It's like all these things were happening. So it's, and again, the worst part of it is like, you got stepped on by an elephant and you can't breathe. That's what you just can't breathe.

37:36That was the worst of it. It's like, who cares about the rest of this stuff? I mean, all of it hurt. But I don't even know what that is anymore. Like, pain became my bitch a long time ago. Also. It's cause it's, it's all a construct in your mind anyway. It's your body's way of saying, hey, it's trying to preserve itself. Your body tries to preserve itself by saying there's pain. Oh, that's hot. Don't touch it. Or this is that. Don't do this. Try this. Right? So again, not during the accident, this is after the accident. And I started to deal with pain in a different way. And I wanted to hold chapter on the call the agreement about having you get re -nure pathways.

38:20You can change them for your brain. How I receive pain is different how I received it before. I guess still stuff my toe and arm on the fuck of yes, right? But I understand what it means. What the body's really trying to tell me. Like when the body gets a break, it is these swells, tries to create its own cast and do all these sort of things to protect itself. The body just tries to preserve itself. It's a miracle what the body does. It's fantastic. If you are in a alliance and what the body's trying to do And the body realizes, ah, you are listening to me, okay, I won't bother you so much anymore.

38:55And that's what came to your agreement. I'm like, you can't tell me that's painful anymore because that's a metal piece of metal. Now, you're not even a bone, you can say it's broken. So I have to reprogram my bang from receiving those pain signals in that way. And it takes a time, it takes about 28 days to really reprogram. Yeah, explain this 28 day cycle. Yeah, it's it's it's like a lot of cycles like from a menstrual cycle a moon cycle Human patterns and behaviors a lot of lot of toxicities to leave your body take around this time but it's just something about That 28 days seems to be something congruent a lot of different versions of our lives and with patterns to really create a positive pattern or take a negative pattern to a positive pattern It's like 28 days and then you don't even have to think about it.

39:44It's not a conscious thought anymore. You don't have to be grudged to stretch every morning. You're just stretching every morning after 28 days, essentially. And then it doesn't have to even be that long. It could take, be less. But to, it's always in your brain, the power within your brain, in your mind, and it takes fortitude, it takes trusted faith in a whole lot of other bag of goodies that you can't be weak and spirit. You cannot. You have to be, if you don't believe it, then no one's going to believe it kind of attitude. It's not going to get done if you're not going to do it or you have to do it and believe it.

40:20And there was a lot of that came through because I had to walk on my leg and that my leg had a spiral fracture, spun around, it was shattered. And so they had a hammer, a big piece of titanium in and just plates and screws and plates and screws. And he said, you're going to have to walk on this thing. Otherwise it's going to be pretty much just like a log stiff thing. I'm like, all right, to keep it mobile. Yeah, to move it. All the scar tissue, right? You know where you got to keep this thing rocking and moving. So I got to be okay from the doctor. Like I have to move this thing. Otherwise it's going to be just a club leg.

40:56So I started doing it and my body is screaming at me. Oh, I stepped down. Oh, I'm on the road. It's broken. My body's telling me, like, no, it's not. So I started yelling at my foot and my leg. Look, motherfucker. Sorry about my language. I'm just like, look, we got to work this out. The doc says, you're not broken because you're a piece of metal. Like I'm literally talking to it like it's like my appendage of my body is like a, like a, like a scorned lover or something or like a, like a bad dog. How old are you doggy? Yeah, you know what I mean? It's like, what are you doing? What would you cheat on me?

41:29Yep, yep. You know what I mean? It's your betraying me essentially. It's such a betrayal. And so to be so crazy enough to like, to talk about my appendage is a separate thing, you know. It was opened up to this idea that I have to really change at the change it because I know well, all the things I'm telling you I knew before, I just like, I have to really work us out. I'm literally arguing with my leg every day. I'm arguing with my leg many times a day Any time I go I have to go move it get blood flow through it So for blood clots that right scar tissue it's all this stuff So otherwise I'm threatening dude.

42:08I'm gonna lock you off. I'm gonna chop you off I'm gonna get a wooden peg. I'm gonna get a fucking parrot and an eye patch and go live a pirate life motherfucker Either fucking do it or don't like I'm screaming right. I'm saying it like I'm saying it now like no joke But saying with that intensity and that belief, dude, because I did also was okay, living the pirate life, dude. I was totally okay with it. I was just happy I was alive. I didn't care about acting again. I was just happy to see my family there with me, all the people I love around with me. I didn't care about what the future held for my body in that sense, you know what I mean?

42:45Or I was willing to do it. So I'm threatening my leg, I'm gonna chop it off. I mean, it's the most insane thing ever. And I know that as I'm saying it, and I reflect back on it sometimes at night, and I'm like, that was good talk we had, that was good talk. You know, you're like, it's pretty a gel -only business recovery, right? When you're in a bed alone, you're the only one recovering no matter how many doctors you got, how many people love you, giving you tea, whatever the heck it is, all that's amazing, but you're the only one that can make you get better. And that's it, man. And me and me and my leg were partners of crime at the time.

43:23And yeah, I'm talking to curtains, I'm talking all sorts of things and you're, it's quite lonely space. But it was the thing that helped me reprogram the neural pathways and how I received pain. And it took about 28 days, about a month of me yelling at my leg as I'm doing physical therapy. I do, I'm doing it every day. I did it. As soon as I got home, I was in two ICU's for six days a piece. As soon as I got home, because I was breaking out of them every day, get me home, get me home so I can sleep. And as soon as I got home, I'm doing physical therapy. You know how painful it is, I don't care.

43:57So I got on real quick. And so after doing this, having this agreement with my leg, all the other things, like my ribs and all that stuff kind of fell into place much better than I anticipated. My lungs were like plastic suitcases for all the goop and things to kind of come out of a blood and all this like stuff. It's so weird. It was quite a hot mess. But as the leg, there was really quite the issue because it was the physical therapy part of it. And that's where I focused all my energy. Then the rest of the body, it's kind of fell into place. It's like a focus on one bad dog that was pooping on my pillow or something, right?

44:35I'll just focus on the leg. And then it just, I just, pain became just something that I can manage, because I know my body sends signals to my brain, but there's may not have to receive it the same way. What's your advice to somebody who's currently dealing with pain? You know, I'm not going to say you have to yell at you at the thing. I think getting an understanding of it, I think there are other ways, you know, I think Modern medicine is fantastic for the short term, but for long term and chronic pain, I think this gotta be other ways. I deal with it all the time, but I certainly don't take pills.

45:12I do injections of peptides, amino acids, vitamins, antinflammatory, things like that. I think everybody's got to deal with inflammation. I think there's a lot of great science that's coming out. I get a lot of access to people that have been doing it over a long time and also been doing it for a long time. But none of that matters. But matters is what your body says. I listen to my body. My body tells me what it needs. And I listen to it. I pay attention. And I also talk to fuck off. Like no joke. It's a part of me. It is what I am, but it is just my spirit living in this vessel. So I'm going to take care of the best I can.

45:58So I'm going to listen to it and it's going to listen to me and it does. And that agreement I have with my body gets me through every day. How do you know when to listen to it and when to tell it to fuck off? It starts to scream at me a bit. It's a volume that it gets a little louder or it's actually not even that. It's more it's repetitive in nature. Not just something like it's not just an afternoon or a stiff morning. It's just a flip. It's just like, oh, this has been a week of this repetitive thing. I'm like, all right. I got to, I got to help my body out here. I'm not doing something right.

46:29I'm doing something wrong. I'm putting something in my body or I'm not. That it's something else, right? The body, like if you have an injury, usually some other part of your body over compensates and that kind of stuff. So you have to really kind of watch, watch the whole thing. We'll get back to talking in one second, but first this episode is brought to you by AG1. I've been drinking AG1 every morning for years now and it just got even better. Ag1 next gen keeps the same simplicity, one scoop, one spade, but now comes with four clinical trials backing it. In those trials, Ag1 next gen was clinically shown to fill comment nutrient gaps, improve key nutrient levels within three months, and increase healthy gut bacteria by 10 times even in healthy adults.

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47:41Right now, you can get a free year's supply, vitamin D3K2 and 5 free AG1 travel packs, and that 90 -day money -back guarantee by going to the link in the description below. are heading to drink, ajiwon .com slash modern wisdom. That's drink ajiwon .com slash modern wisdom. Just sink into the that reframing, that mental reframing around pain a little bit more for me again. Somebody I've again not run over by a snow cat full of Kelly's detachment. Yeah, yeah, fuck that was a motherfucker. Yeah, here's the thing. See, any singularity, any one of those, It's way worse than getting you ran over by the snow cat because there's only yeah, there's only one thing and it's it's it's I Was tested to my limits to my death.

48:27Mm -hmm So nothing else can I don't get pop both my QE's tendons right now like yeah, whatever I'll limp out of here or just walk right because the worst thing that's happened to you Yeah, yeah, it's like all right. This is gonna be a terrible year. Yeah, I know that already I'm ready, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, we'll reattach. They probably do in six months now. They got there in Roger's machine they can do. Yep. Yep. You know, but my point being, with that for me, I resonate in awful lot with the loneliness, I think. Oh, yeah. I think this is one of the things I really want to get an insight.

49:02Yeah, patience. From around you. Yeah, the role of patience and how you deal with the loneliness, how you remain sort of mental, thought it to you. Interesting. And you sink into that. That's interesting. I think yeah, especially for you talk about you know the kill is tendon because it is such a long ongoing thing and then Well, that's right covering it. It's a real injury. Yeah, it's a real damn injury dude It's and it's like no joke like you could break any bone and you're done in a month and People aren't really that conscious of it and cuz you just playing sports or you just getting out of bed I could pop right it can happen anywhere usually you're doing some kind of a flat.

49:36I just playing pickle ball And my McCrickhead, which is a more British way to do it. Yeah, either way, usually it's not a sexy way to have such a gnarly injury. But anyway, so people aren't caring. Like, people care a lot about my injuries because they're very aware of what happened. Like, oh, yeah, you're playing cricket, you know, whatever. They kind of make fun of you for it. But there is a real loneliness in that. So I gamify recovery. I gamify my pain. I gamify that loneliness. this. Meaning I set it, set goals. I, I, uh, daily goals was always like as long as I'm better than I was the day before.

50:13And I don't, I don't have to be a high standard. It's like I move my elbow an inch more than I can move it the day before victory. Right. So at least it's progress. It's this, then the setbacks are fewer because you don't set such a crazy high goal. I'm going to start. I'm going to run a four five 40 at the into the year, you know, as it come on, and you're gonna set yourself up a disappointment. But, so to gamify things and give myself confidence, and self -confidence in my loneliness is like getting better, I always push myself, even after the PT leaves, I'm doing stuff on my own, it's a 24 hour job, it's a 24 hour job.

50:54As long as I get my good sleep, then the rest of it's like, what am I putting my body, and how do I get better every day? And I get higher goals. And I find ways to heal my family in me getting better. That helped immensely. I can remove myself out of the equation in my pain and my recovery because I'm getting better to heal my family. If I get better, my family gets better. I'm not getting better even for me. That was a huge perspective that I had as soon as I woke up from the coma. I apologized that I was in the accident. I said, I'm sorry. And I promised my daughter if you wait for me, I'll get better.

51:28It was like I released myself to the duties of me wanting to get better for me. I was getting better for them to heal them because I hurt them. It was easy. It was a one -way road of recovery. There's no other direction to go. I have to heal my family. Isn't it strange that we find it easier to do something for us for other people than do something for us for us? Yeah. And that's strange quirk of how the humans work. Yeah. to the same thing, you've probably been in movies where this is actually a scene. The bad guy wants to get the information out of you so they're torturing you and they're doing stuff and you're like, no, it doesn't matter, then they bring in someone you love.

52:08Yeah, and you, that always breaks everybody, right? And there's an interesting stat around the likelihood that we ensure that we complete a course of antibiotics is around about 50%, maybe a little bit less. the likelihood that we ensure that our dog completes its course of antibiotics is like in the 90s. So we're significantly better at looking after an animal than we are looking after ourselves despite the fact that if we are not functional, the animals fucked. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And again with this, it's so interesting that we can use somebody else as other people, group of other people as the motivation for our recovery in that way.

52:52Yeah, well I think that's it's something in the I think it's within the limitations of in a perspective it seems like it's the limitations of human experience, right? But it's also an act of love. I mean the the fuel behind that is all love. So in a spiritual form That is just what we are to be anyway. In the human form, it's us protecting ourselves, like the body is trying to protect itself. And we try to protect each other. We were social creatures, we were thinking, we tried to... Ultimately, people are good. We're just not in situations for us to be good to each other. Even if you are doing this because you're going to help to heal your family, you don't want this to be the defining, lingering memory of what happened, etc.

53:48The recovery is still on you. Planning the solutions is still on you. And it's also still my body. I'm not going to hobble around the spinning rock for the next 100 years because now I'm titanium man. It out of here. Well, you laid awake at night a couple of weeks, a couple of months in. It's just one of those normal days, it's been an all right day of rehab, it's been an all right day of whatever, but you're just, you're kind of deep in the hole. Yeah. What, where was your mind going to keep your motivation to keep driving you forward? I always focus on the things that were better. Now, not every day, all of me was better, but some part of me was getting better, and that's all I cared about.

54:30Just sitting up was like a giant milestone for me, not being in a jar. That was a great victory to go bathroom moment, right? Just whatever it was, I kept things really simple and and I made it okay. That'd be that's an amazing thing So because there are days that aren't great and there's a lot of people that might get stuck in a rut of You don't even have to be in recovery. I mean you could just have a bad day and it's like but your brain Right, it's not you can't let it wallow in that just get up off the couch move go move your body oxygen through your system It'll help you navigate something just to make a different choice.

55:04And it'd been easy for me to like not have any positive thoughts about things, man. There's not a lot of help or hope to grab onto. So I just built the things that I could grab onto. Like I said, I kind of gamified things. And I know, I guess there's, I was just filled with such gratitude, but I wasn't gonna ever have a low bar set, right? There's that duality of it. It's like I wasn't gonna like, oh, as long as I can just kind of walk or no, they said, if I walked again, if I did, I'd walk funny and say, you're never gonna run again. And I said, I wish you would have told me that. I heard it from my family later on.

55:51I would have been running faster earlier just at that challenge. I'm also that guy. You know, that fuck you energy. Yeah, yeah, well that, or the challenge challenge me because I know what I can do and I know what I can't do and I know my limitations and sometimes I'll try to always try to exceed what what I can or can't do. I have to go to such extremes of your obsessions to really grow like what cold plunges do for the body and like even extreme hot does just the nerve endings in your body used a lot of heat vibration So I'm going to paint. Heat, high heat, high vibrations, great for pain. We're using power plates stuff, power plate stuff, because that gets really intense vibration.

56:37That's great to numb the nerve endings, really hot bath and that. The reason why when you bang, when you stub your toe like you said earlier and why do you rub it, it's because it's really difficult for the body to receive multiple signals at the same time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it just confuses all the nerve endings seemingly. and I don't feel it. It's like, it's why I got a pain medication like that. Yeah, what was your relationship? You know, a lot of people have injuries way less bad than this. And that's the beginning of the road down the dark path. I'm glad I had it. I'm glad it was there. It was necessary.

57:14I mean, God damn, it was unnecessary. But I wasn't, I think it was like, when I got home, switching from epidurals and IVs and all this stuff of writing intravenously, you know, to deal with your pain management. And then going on just now, just taking pills, taking oxycutan. You know, you get behind on that, you're kind of screwed because then you realize, oh, it's going to take a minute to get to your system and then... Yeah, what's the bit of advice I was given after my surgery? I never chased the pain. Yeah, yeah, no, you've got to get out ahead of the pain. Yeah, yeah, you gotta stay ahead of it You get behind oh, man, it's gonna be a bad day or so Yeah, it was so it happened like that happened once maybe twice But then it was like maybe four weeks in when I was home And at a night tear it might look my mouth is broken everything so many breaks in my face in my head and my teeth on the line so I had a night tear and then in your teeth on the line is easy to crack a tooth.

58:18And I cracked a tooth then I felt pain. I'm like, wait, I'm an oxy -contin and this is breaking through. I'm like, yeah, it was breaking through. So I'm like, well then what do I need that oxy -contin for in the Gabby Penton? I'm like, I'm out of here. So I went emergency extraction, put in a post, take the thing, I'm crying. Just got so happy that my pregnant dentist would come in and do this for me. Well, and Got home and I said I'm getting off. I'm not taking this stuff. I took it for the next day for the tooth And then when I felt good I just just said I'm Cold turkey this stuff and then I cried for like three and a half days straight and Shivered in cold sweats and the whole thing because I'm coming off coming off the pain meds It was tell me what that's always way worse than the accident Why?

59:10Because how bad coming off that stuff is. It was just like uncontrollable crocodile tears, mostly just out of control of crying. And it wasn't sad. I was just crying. I was doing P .T. I was doing his band stuff. Just sobbing. I just couldn't stop. This is just regular. And you know, shivering or so cold, I got all these electric blankets on me. I was coming off heroin or something. It's actually because I guess what it is or something, right? Austin Cotton. Anyway, after the three and a half days, I talked to a big management guy, the doctor and he's like, yeah, you can't do that. Dude, no one does that.

59:45You need two weeks at least to kind of wean off of it. Both Gabby Petten as well. All your nerve endings are like feeling everything right now. I'm like, yeah, I know. I'm freezing. I'm shivering. I'm crying. Well, while you it's okay for you to do a little bit done with the now. So I'm just gonna stay of it. Thank God. I got to shake it. But wow, what a terrible thing to be hooked on. Wow. I mean. If you need that because your body gets numb to that kind of stuff anyway, then you need more of it, which is the terrible thing to it. So it's like you need to get the fuck off that stuff as soon as possible is my recommendation.

1:00:24Find other ways and high heat, high vibrations, Do tremendous things to your nerve endings to mitigate your pain and allow me to sleep. That's why I love to take a super, super hot bath as much as I could stand. And then vibrations like on my parts that were really kind of just giving me some achy, achy sort of feeling. Are you sitting on a power plate? No, I mean, I was too fragile, I still feel too fragile at that time. I do it now. But I do, I do like to have a roller that's a vibrating roller. Okay. Super intense. Just rest. I put both my knees under both my knees or both my ankles. Angles and knees, whoop, night night going to bed.

1:01:04Amazing. If you have any ankle or knee issues, as long as it's not breaks, as long as if you're healing from a raking, do it. But great for nerve endings, tendons to get blood flow, circulation for your things that are hard to get blood flow through like tendons, you know, right? Pretty tough, all the cartilage areas, all our joints, you know, are all gonna fail us anyway. but I just got every joint screwed early on. What would you take me through the big recovery modalities sort of what contributed to your rehab? Because you seem to recover very given how intense and sort of how strafficking the injuries are.

1:01:42You recovered really quickly. Yeah, I became obsessed. I had to become obsessed at recovery. It was my main focus. And it was awesome because my life was freed from any other obligations, even parenting. Sadly. So I have to get this so that I can go back to being a parent. So I can go back, right? So I became obsessed at, like I said, it was 24 hours a day. That's all I focused on. That's all my brain energy went to. That's all my thoughts went to. We're all recovery, healing, getting better, even dreaming of my bones growing over this metal pipe and that they all this stuff. I was just all that was all in with every part of my body even in my damn dreams about recovering.

1:02:27So the obsession and then it got to a place maybe just a few weeks later. I didn't have the the the the plastic suitcases for my lungs and then I'm sitting up and a thing and I'm in the wheelchair and I'm moving around. And it's like a mobile. I'm getting more blood flowing. And now I'm just getting better faster. And now it's maybe 16 hours a day of obsession. And then reduced to 12. And it's getting less by a summertime. It's eight hours a day. I have to start my morning, Dada routine, and Dada, all the things, and just keep going, keep going. And then my body allowed me to do, there was just sort of like, not recovery stuff.

1:03:06I would do life stuff that was like recovery stuff. I'd go walk in the sand, great for your ankles and stability in my hips and knees and all that stuff, but at least I'm outside and the sunshine at Lake Tahoe. Breathing in the air, getting my feet cold, that's the biggest cold plunge in the world. That thing is freezing, you can just go in there and that's awesome, right? So I can do that. So now I'm just doing eight hours and I reduce it to me before hours, that's how I started going back to work. I'd have to commit to four hours a day. I prepared a chamber of O2 throughout my body. Red light therapy was huge.

1:03:35I still do these to this day. And all that, I mean, between the high heat stuff and the vibration, the red light, infrared beds, and hyperbaric chamber. I'll do this for those in my life. What peptides we're using? Thymus and alpha, thymus and beta, BPC. Yeah, it's thymus and BPC 1 by 7, it's a MOTC, some... I love MOTC. MOTC is great. Yeah, yeah. And there's TB 500, there's, guys, this is a long, long list of stuff. I had to do it at war moment placement stuff because my testosterone was at 200. I had to get that up, because I think it's some energy. So then you're getting the gym instead of falling asleep in the gym.

1:04:15So that helped getting regulating that. Because again, I'm 54 and at that time, you know, I didn't know when it tells you how to get old. But I guess my testosterone was super low and that affects a lot of things in your body. Mm -hmm. Especially your energy. So yeah, and there's a whole list of different peptides and I rotate them in and out. It's not like I do them all the time. I just kind of wrote you just like supplements. I do the same thing with supplements. I rotate them in and out of my life I'll go for a stretch of two months or three months on three months off or that kind of thing You know just to get your body to regulate challenge it let it try to produce its own HGH its own testosterone All those type of things Really really great to work on your body from a cellular level Out using the NAD.

1:05:03I mean yeah, yeah, I do that every day. Why every day? Uh, subcue. Yeah, subcue. And also I am and I don't do it through the, uh, IV, because it just takes too long to go through that suck. You know, it's not nice. It's not nice. Uh, subcue, NAD is, I feel that it's like a shot of coffee. It's really huge. Yeah, yeah. And I also feel like the light version of it in this, uh, can do your stomach like, oh, gosh. But it's only for 10 seconds. It's not relaxed. It's nice once it goes. Five minutes. I had this theory about NAD that one of the best parts of NAD was it finishing. It wasn't actually the effect.

1:05:40It was just been in so much discomfort, yeah, exactly. Precisely precisely. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, because I don't know many things that you put in your body that immediately make you feel good. Like an IV, like an IV, that's an instant thing. You're getting hydrated pretty instantaneously. You're getting great vitamins. You could smell the vitamins, vitamin C in your plate. And then do that push. Yeah. So that you feel pretty instantly and you feel good. Not much else I can think that I've done it. I do everything Everything Maybe a hot bath and that's only because you get out of it. You're like, okay, I'm not in pain I could pull plunge other when they say they're like, oh, yeah, dude, you feel so good getting out Yeah, you feel good getting out of that because you're not dying anymore That's why it feels good.

1:06:25It doesn't feel good ever. Is it feel good? No, it feels like hell So by getting out you're just not dying anymore. Your body screaming, I'm dying, I'm dying. Co -approach genes release, cold shock protein, we all know this, they'll do it. I don't do a lot of cold plunges because I think you have to, I do those when needed. I do, there's a crowd chambers, you know, I'd rather do that. Crowd chamber, I felt being a little bit more effective. You like the hyperbari? Hyperbari, I love it because it does take a little bit more time, but I can do, yeah, I can do emails, a cup of coffee because I can sit in a chair just like this and not just sit there and be like, I'm in some treatment, I'm like, for kid, I would never do it.

1:07:10But I'll just buy a stack in there, I'll do a red light mask in there, I'll do whatever I can to do multiple things, I do many things all throughout the day, you know. How, how is it? Like, again, I would have these things on right now. Yeah, well, but as it all messed up with the mics. How is it that your face looks like your face? Why does your face look like your face if it's so much destruction? Well, interestingly enough, interestingly enough, nothing. The only skin that broke was on the back of my head, and that's where the blood was gushing. Because when it got ran over, it went to my cheekbone pressure, and the back of my skull here, that was where the roll over pressure went.

1:07:49That's why I broke this cheekbone and it floating around, I broke my orbital and then my jaw. So this and then my jaw broken three places. And then the crack here. All the other marks on my body are scars from the surgeries to put the metal in. So it was more the end of the size of my body that were crushed. And luckily one of my ribs poked my liver but because it broke in two spots. So there's a couple of gaps. There was like 14 breaks in only six ribs. So several pieces of my ribcage were just gone floating. Yeah, it isn't losing around so Well, we're talking about a kid member. Oh, yeah, my face.

1:08:31I like it. Yes, so It wants to swelling went down nicking sea where the real damage is really just to my jaw because it's harder to fix your jaw Apparently and also my teeth got pushed in the molars. So nothing sits right That's still the same case now. Yeah, yeah forever Wow, they can't palette expands. I think I think we'll be risk losing the teeth. Yeah, I'm gonna lose them all anyway from all that trauma. Hold on a minute. So I'm gonna hang on to them while I can and I still gotta do some smile. Everything's fine. It's just when I bite down. It's like chewing, eating is just not that enjoyable.

1:09:10You gotta be careful with what foods you eat then. No, I'm only careful with foods I eat just where I want to put my body. You know, and I'm not really a stickler about things, you know, I'm just conscious about what it is a bit Yeah, I like I like eating steak. That's I you know, I don't try to chew on stuff too much Like gum will never chew gum Like I've been a good amount of price that you know, yeah I'm interested in Anyway, this well it would you I how does that go back in there was so many ways that that I should have an eye patch or a Glass eye or something at this point right? because of the orbular nerve, and get pinched in the crack, the endonusial tissue, no damage to like such anything behind the eye or any of the nerves.

1:09:56It's a miracle. It was the best way that this could have happened. It's a miracle. Essentially, it's just like moving it back in and duct taping it and just swelling went down and it started operating again. Yeah, it was crazy. Yeah, so I think, I mean, there's, I don't know, there's a little unevenness with the, I don't care. My face is my face is still, I still look the same, I guess, for the most part. And there's no like plastic surgery or anything that had to happen. It was all internal. Like they put in the plates in my eye and my cheekbone. They said we don't have to do it, but because your face is, you know, you're living or afraid maybe you'll lose your cheekbone if you don't support it with a metal plate and they just went inside my mouth and cut open all under the skin and put these plates in.

1:10:43Wow. You know, so then and I had screws in my my skull and then my jaw to kind of rubber band it to put to heal the jaw and then that was it. And then that was it. It's it's it's pretty harrowing how they get these screws out though. They just like get a screwdriver from Home Depot and it is rip them out. Before we continue, if you haven't been feeling a sharp or energized as you'd like, getting your blood work done is the best place to start, which is why I partnered with function because they run lab tests twice a year that monitor over 100 biomarkers. They've got a team of expert physicians to take the data, put it in a simple dashboard and give you actionable insights and recommendations to improve your health and lifespan.

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1:11:58I'm interested in how you avoided becoming a victim of this. How would I ever be a victim? You've had this thing happen to you, which you didn't choose to. I was even victimized. How could I be a victim? You understand how this yes, yes, narrative plays in people's minds. But I'm telling you I'm telling you my perspective. That's how. If ever I have been victimized as still never be a victim, certainly doesn't even apply to this incident. I made the choice. I don't regret my choice. I'm only saddened and that I put so much terror in my family's life. my nephew cannot unsee the things I did not see.

1:12:46He saw the blood gushing holding my arm squat, squatting to hold in a certain position for 45 minutes my eyeball out legs twisted up just calm cool collected, partial shock. We can't unsee it. And along the long list of all the other things that have happened transpired because of it. So there's no there's no it's always my perspective and that's what I have control of And it's, I refuse to be haunted, I refuse to hobble around, I refuse to. It's not going to happen. My will will not let it happen. But what is it? I just not going to happen. Like, if I believe I can fly and sprout a propeller out my ass, trust me.

1:13:32Propel is about to come out and I'm going to propel around this room. I believe it's physically impossible, so I don't believe it. But that will, the reality is you build it. You can build your own reality. If you don't, you can become victimized or a victim. But you have to be sort of active in your believing and you're doing in your heart and your will. And your will is a thing is your life force. So, you know, and it started with not wanting to hurt my family, you know? I wouldn't want to be on their side. And looking at me in the bed or hearing about it, my mom heard about it on the phone call.

1:14:09How about that phone call? Had a 13 hour drive to get to my hospital bed in the snow in the eyes of brutal. So there is no me in any of this man, except getting better version of me. You know, there's no being victimized or victim mentality in it. There's impossible. It's impossible. It's just a square peg round hole. It doesn't fit here. It doesn't apply. At least I make it not apply if it does. How has this changed your outlook on life? No, moving forward. It's quite the same. It's a lot better because there's less obstacles and that's where the white noise has gone. The things that I give credence to or great value to are wiped away.

1:14:59What line?

1:15:03Everything outside the basic things that I want in my life, time, shared experiences with people I love, laughter. When I oversimplify a simple life, again, a very complicated, busy life I have, but I keep the white noise out. I don't listen to the, it's like the idea of like reading the comments or reading your reviews or like I never did really anyway, but a version of that, you know what that is for an individual. What it is for me is not giving so much energy to my career. I do, obviously, I mean, I was working a year after the incident and I did them on second season, I'm doing four season right now, but I give energy to it.

1:15:54right, but maybe how much energy, maybe a more married to central part of my life is my health and wellness. Everything else falls into place. I'm filming in Pittsburgh right now to get better. And then I happen to be filming Mary King's Towns season four. But I'm there to get better. My garage is filled with workout equipment. Hyperbaric chamber, my red light, but all these things, my fridge, I brought a sack with my peptides and things like I'm committed to my health and my wellness. It is a central part of my being and it has to be. And I like it. And I love it. And I want it to be. So that simplicity, like it doesn't, then I don't get busy doing a bunch of other dumb stuff, you know, whatever, like what I would normally might do.

1:16:38And it's way better because life is much simpler. And that that's the only way to change is just like I just don't give so much energy and get myself away to just things that I don't want anyway, you know. I already have everything I want in my life anyway. You know, especially as like, I have like, at many careers, I have many careers and I do a lot of things and like, so I always had that drive to do stuff, right? As an independent sort of be my own boss and go do things, right? And you know what it's like. I think any athlete knows it that's like. I think any businessman knows it that's like, but when do you stop and really get to enjoy it?

1:17:14When work becomes the central part of your life, but then you don't get to reap the benefits of all the hard work, and what the fuck is the point? So now I'm doing the point. I'm working hard still, but I start with living the life first, doing the life first that I want to live, and then, you know, prioritizing what, right, I reprioritize it. I think it's the best way to say it. It's like, I just put the priorities of me and my health that I didn't do before. I might wash my face once a week, you know? I go to gym, brush my teeth, things, but like, Like now I do like complete opposite that and I do so many things to for my health and my wellness from the cellular level on out, you know.

1:17:57And it feels good, dude. Oh my God. It feels amazing. And then I'm so much better with everybody else. I can see her in this room and not be in any pain. I can be in a good mood with you. I can do this all day long, you know. Is that different to how you were before? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This would be a chore. This would be work. This would be time away from my daughter. I'd be here with a chip in my shoulder. I should be with my daughter right now. Now she's with me all the time now. I have her in my pocket. Give her a little little peanuts down there once and I'll take her. Yeah, I mean, I Spirit she's with me all the time.

1:18:34So I have that perspective. I'm not not an angst of not being with my family or loved ones. It's pretty amazing sort of perspective to have. And I try to hold on to those. It's much lighter, more loving place than space to be. I'm interested in the way that your mindset changes going from having to be so self -focused to selfless focused, to that, and then sort of moving between these two, right? It goes this attention, it feels like there's attention here. You're showing up to make yourself better to help to heal everybody else. You've got you, there also needs to be served an awful lot. And yeah, it feels like there's a dynamic that's going on here between you.

1:19:28Yeah, I don't know what the future holds to be honest with you, brother. The giant shift was, which is hard to say, cause to me, it's like an airplane, and you use pressure in the cabin, and the things come down, you're supposed to put it on yourself, then your kid. Well, every parent's gonna be like, no, you put it on your kid first. That's been me raising my daughter. I'm always gonna look often to do the best for my daughter. It's like we brought up earlier about how we like to take care, it's easier to take care of everybody else instead of yourself. And it's such like such a good martyrdom kind of thing.

1:20:08It just doesn't, it doesn't we help us. But if we fill our own water first, we fill us first and then we can serve others better. So I have to work that every day. I work that every day because my instinct is to always do something for somebody else first, right? So the practice is that, I told you that the idea of like, oh wait, I went to Pittsburgh to fill America in Kingston. No, I didn't. I went through it to go work with the great PT there. I got a great medics there. And do all my health and wellness. And then I get to go back on set and create jobs and have a lot of good time on the show.

1:20:42It's secondary. That's just the way I think about it. You can look at it like, yeah, I went there to, of course I went to go film there. Otherwise, it wouldn't be in Pittsburgh. But no, I'm going there because I, you know what I mean? I take control of like it so I don't feel like I'm victimized by my job. My job is removing me from my health and wellness. No, I can't do that. Same with anything. So I think starting with taking care of myself, because again, because I have to, I can't, I wouldn't do this if it didn't get ran over if I didn't fucking die. Sadly, my health and mental health and spiritual health would be depleted.

1:21:21No matter I don't know how much I tried. So thank God I got crushed. Because now I take care of myself very well and I take care of others even more so. It's interesting what you said about the hamster wheel that you get on the priority of a job of a calling of something that's really important to you. My friend Bill wrote a great book, Die With Zero, and in it he says, delayed gratification in the extreme results in no gratification. Yeah. And I think a lot of people that are super, super driven, when they get caught in that trap. I got lots of positive reinforcement from the job that I do. I get accolades, I get recognized, and I get back.

1:21:58It keeps you hooked along. Correct. Yeah, I'm spinning on this hamster wheel, waiting for the day when I arrive. At what? At something, I'm gonna continue to manana, manana filling my cup. I'm gonna keep on pushing down, taking a little bit of time. And I wonder as well, whether a good bit of that is that a very busy life, a very chaotic life, doesn't actually force you to turn inward. And goes, this is actually what I'm supposed to, am I spending my life in the best way that I can? It's like, well, look at how important I am. Look at how busy I am. I can't be wasting my life. Look at how back -to -back the calories.

1:22:33I've got my toilet brake scheduled in, 12 or 5. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, you see different countries where capitalism isn't like the forefront of your existence. some monetary things, some status, some jobs, some cars, some object, right? Whereas some more, you know, you got to Japan and it's more sort of Buddhist sort of thinking and you've just, this capitalism ever short, but you got to Italy, just capitalism ever too, but there's also a love of life. Way more cigarettes. Yeah, exactly. There's wine and when they close their shop, it too. You go take a nap. Or there's just, you know, there's a balance that can happen.

1:23:08America has such a strong sense of capitalism. It's also a strong country for that very same reason. In the industry, it's one thing, but then we lose sight of... The American dream is, it needs to shift, it can't shift. We don't have to... It's interesting time, just time of information that we have. We get so connected to everyone on the planet with all this information. And I found, you know, not disenchantment with the American dream that maybe I knew in the 80s, which is like, go to college, I think, I get a thing, I even get a Porsche, whatever the heck I'm. It was as a young dumb boy in the 80s.

1:23:51It certainly shifted as I mature as a man and now, you know, gotten older, but I, like, I have noble grettes. And that came from dying and being in the hospital, I said, I wrote two, goodbye notes, one to my family, one to my daughter. And no regrets. And I was so ready to go. Again, because I was on machines and I'm like, oh man, I think they're gonna pull a plug on me at this point. But it's nice to get that confirmation that you don't have regrets. So I'm gonna keep going with that idea and keep living to the most be doing something right. So I'll continue with the ways I was feeling thinking because that confirmation was just a great, great gift to receive.

1:24:36Along with no bad days, you know, I'm not gonna get any bad days the rest of my life. That's pretty awesome. Well, it's only a little long time because I know what a bad day feels like. I can have maybe a bad moment. I can find frustration. You'd be hard pressed to get a year -age out of me. Was that something that you had before? No. That was an arraigie guy. No. I mean, neither. But just like, you know, just the idea of like, you know, what, you, when you see, you have to know the limits, right? And then reach beyond the limits, test it beyond my limits. And dying and coming back, it's like, all right, there's a different sort of, oh, also, I got to see behind the curtains.

1:25:17You know, I know what happens. And like, it's super exciting, wonderfully peaceful, super electric, magnificent. It's, there's no time, place, or space. It's like, you know, it's like, oh, that's just a knowingness just in the back of my mind. Wow, that's amazing. And there's a long list of amazing gifts that kind of came with that. But going from like, oh, wait, your capitalism and the thing, I like, that's spinning rock that we're on and you can't even keep zooming out. That's where I start. Then I can get back in. Once I find I'm too microed into something that my, my blender's a Ron and information is limited.

1:25:55I'm like, I had a my doing here. I'm giving too much credence to something that has no value and that's what I did a lot And I think that's what a lot of us do all the time because we have the freedom to luxury of where we are in our lives of You know to to pay a lot of attention to stuff that doesn't have value You know how many colors of tonal polisher are there for God's sakes or whatever that the minutia of What are we doing? So we zoom out. Let me zoom out a little bit I mean I actually aggregate what matters here. And then then go back in, re -engage into conversation, re -engage into my life, re -engage into whatever I was doing before, because we can get a little caught up.

1:26:36We can get caught up. I feel like there's a ticking clock and the things that pressure and all these things that we put in ourselves, or society can put on us. And I relieve myself of all those duties. I am relieved. A quick aside, you've probably heard me talk about element before, and that's because I am frankly dependent on it. For the last three years, I've started my morning every single day with element. Element is a tasty electrolyte drink makes with everything that you need and nothing that you don't each. Grabbing girls' stick pack contains a science -packed electrolyte ratio of sodium, potassium, and magnesium with no sugar, no coloring, no artificial ingredients, or any other junk.

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1:27:41Plus they offer free shipping within the US. Right now you can get a free sample pack of all eight flavors with your first purchase by going to the link in the description below, are heading to drinklmnt .com slash modern wisdom. That's drinklmnt .com slash modern wisdom. How do you think about balancing your desire to be professionally a very competent actor pushing your limits creatively in terms of the way that you show up? Because that does require obsession with the micro. Sure. You win in the weeds when it comes to stuff like that. Especially I'm sure there'll be more movies and then I think that I think that'll take time.

1:28:18I think I'm I can swallow the idea.

1:28:26I didn't think I was going to go back to work. I'd live life in reality, not in fiction. It's hard for me to go back. But it meant a lot. I was around a lot of love. So then that felt most of the first day back on set like. I mean, there was very difficult. I mean, All of it was very, the energy levels were very low. I had like a couple of good hours where I was awake enough to perform. It was a character I knew very well. And so that part was easy enough. It was added to a stunt as well. Little challenging but worked through it. But all the working through with stunt guys and even the director, I'll set up the camera and do that.

1:29:08It was all just acts of love. So that was what felt great. Everyone was happy that I was back. But, so yeah, I took it, it felt very loving and a very loving set, an amazing group of people. So, that's why I'm back again. And it's pretty awesome. And I think it's just, to me, it's also to make a statement. I was tired of, you know, just doing recovery. I got recovery down to eight hours at that point a day. And I had to reduce it to about four hours to start working. But I said, I think I'm ready. I think it's time. I got to get back on the world. I can't just be, you know, some like, some recovery rat.

1:29:52Some recovery rat. I can generate it be like recovery rat. I mean, that's all I'm doing. I'm assessing on recovery. I got to do something else. I got to participate in life. And why not do it with these people? There's kind of fragility associated with that focus on recovery that never actually leads to you going back out into the real world. Well, do you know what I mean? Well, that's also, yeah, it becomes kind of due to how at that point, right? Well, what do I get to set my goals to do? You know, I think I was ready. I was definitely very social all throughout that. You know, so I was getting fed that part.

1:30:24But yeah, just kind of get it back out in the world. And the world was really wonderful to me, you know? Insularly with the set and then even people I met out about, you know, I got wonderful treatment by people. wherever I went and wow, that love that I would get, just further, just filled up my gas tank to get better, get stronger, do better, be better, and but all starts with me. I'm not doing it for anybody, right? I'm filled with the things I need to do for myself. And there's zero selfish bone in my body, you know what I mean? And I always had that. And I don't know if you too, or it was just a general thing.

1:31:06It feels selfish to take care of yourself. So I don't need to take care of everybody else, right? I don't know if that's... But it certainly doesn't even come across. I never, there's not a selfish one in my body and I know it no matter what, how much time I spend on myself. You know what I mean? What would you say to someone who is deep in the hole, some sort of recovery, complex illness, injury and they just haven't got that same fire that they need. Yes. I know, man. You need people around. You need a support system. Emotionally support you. Even if they're just there in the background, you hate them.

1:31:49You hate hearing their voices in the other room as they're playing games. And my family was doing that. I didn't resent that. I just love hearing their voice there. The roomlings in the other room is I was in there with rubber bands and stuff and doing my thing. They'd be happy if I wheeled out and joined them. But I had, is always love and support, you know? You gotta have, you need a community, almost, you know? Maybe that's why they had, they have like, treatment centers, there's lots of other people you go into struggles, you know? But you know, you're not alone, right? You have to believe that you're not alone.

1:32:20And you can't do anything all by yourself. And that kept pushing me to keep going. because I had a lot of help and that help I Interpreter's low and that was just all of you I needed so I would say find if fine support If I mean if you're gosh if you're a person alone in a hospital You know wow you got nurses there you got a team there is these trying to help you you know help them help you Help your body help you create a crate you're not alone because you have your body create as a separate thing. That's a new girlfriend or a new boyfriend. Whoever you want it, a new dog, it's a new separate entity that you get to work with.

1:33:01Separate your body from yourself, from your mind. Then you can work together to get better because they work together wonderfully. That's a great dialogue to have. That was very clutch for me in my loneliness of it. But it's very, very effective for neuro pathways and make a new pathways for yourself to treat your body like something that needs instructing? Yeah, yeah, yeah, or treat it with respect. Like, I say, it's a bad dog. I think it's a bad analogy, but it's just like, it's just a partner, but you're not helping me out here. So you got to listen to me. I'll listen to you if you listen to me, but it treat as a respect.

1:33:43It's still, I respect my body, but I'll tell it to fuck off once in a while. You know, and it's like, oh, I got you, I got you. But I give my body a personality. Like, it's, you know what I mean? It's, I see it in my head. And then we have this relationship. Now it's almost unconscious thing that happens. And nothing, I get no flarebacks or setbacks or anything. I mean, the worst, and also I never use the word even pain. I'll use discomfort. I use inflammation, stiffness. So worst thing I can ever say about my body. But not pain. No. I don't mean this. That ain't pain. Information stiffness, walking, whatever.

1:34:27My back's like all out of whack and out of control and whatever. It's hard for me to get up and down sometimes with like, I just all temporary. It's temporary. You move through that. It's a bad afternoon. It's a rough morning. Whatever who cares. You move through it. It's temporary. It's all temporary. Anyway, isn't it? Your time on this planet is temporary. So make it the best you can. work through the obstacles best you can. Right? We all get to get obstacles no matter how rich you are, how poor you are, how strong you are or whatever. We're all going to have problems in obstacles. How good you are getting over those and through those, how fast and efficient you are with those.

1:35:02Yeah, you're going to have more joy in your life. These a lot more room for joy and laughter and all the things you really want. I'd be remiss if I didn't bring up what at least to me as a total noob in this world, a muggle outside of the industry looks like maybe one of the biggest productions of all time, which was the Avengers series. Yes, yeah. Yeah. Like looking back on that, what was being involved in that production? and like, you know, it removed initially itself from, you became sort of part of something so collective, it's right, it's such a collective type of narrative. The movies I was doing before were pretty more like I was a lead of a movie and the stories told do you through my character or that, this is such an ensemble sort of piece.

1:35:53So you had to rely upon so many things and so many things that didn't even exist. It was fantasy and you know, there's green screen and people are dressed in checkerboarded outfits. So there's fantasy world. And then there's something that became really powerful in knowing that how much it meant to kids, right? How like the white eyedness of hope with kids, I don't know, it's such a great conduit to kids. And I love kids. I'm the olds of seven. and it's sort of my birthright just to, you know, to have them or to be with them. It's why I have, you know, renovations foundation. I mean, to give hope and opportunities to kids is really, really important to me.

1:36:35So, like, it started off there. I'm trusting and costing. I mean, it looked ridiculous. At first, we're all dressed in, you know, there's hands worth. You go out like a ham's worth. And if you put him in, he's got a wig and he's just got like a latte. He's got this, he's got this foam hammer, rubber hammer. and get this bow and arrow, roll train around our props, like with some Halloween costumes. I was gonna say, what's it feel like when you step out of each your respective trailers and you come in and everyone's got, it is the kind of - Yeah, that's when we all, because we're all figuring out, it's at the beginning, right, in the first Avengers, we all kind of took it, figuring out each other, and then each other's characters and costumes, and then it's just grown into, a family, a personal family, we have our own private, sort of chat and all gone through, like marriage and divorces and kids and all these things happen over these last 13 years would have been together.

1:37:27And it's also shared on the stage that's almost a significant, culturally significant sort of 22 giant films there to make the last one that all led to endgame, right? It's quite a significant thing to have happened over over the course of, you know, it was 12, 13, 14 years. And it was awesome to be a part of that. And I get to take away, again, like I said, it's the great friendships, lasting friendships. Well, I have matching tattoos that sort of signify our bond that in this extreme narrative, crazy narrative of superheroes and a strange fantasy world brought us together. And now I have like really, really amazing loving friends.

1:38:14and I have great conduit to children to be able to help them and because being famous before, kind of sucked. It ripped away your sort of, well, I wouldn't say it's totally sucked, but it just takes you where you're privacy, all the things. You know, you don't do just normal things. I'm just a normal dude from Minnesota, California. I want to do normal shit. I just don't get to do. Fine, but I can do other things. Great. But, you know, having a voice to kids, I took my daughter when Endgame came out. She was five -resolved, and I dropped her off at school for the first time, and she was in kindergarten.

1:38:52And then, as I dropped her off in there, and it was kind of nerve -wracking, I hear my name Jeremy Renner, be called, by some third grader. And I'm like, why is this third grader know my first and last name? That's Jeremy Renner. Like, you, they're not even seeing Hawkeye. But, I don't know, they're like, something, no, that's Hawkeye for told them. And I like 30 kids come chasing me down with cell phones out. I mean, what are you doing with cell phones first of all? Anyway, so I take pleasure with them all and I get back in get back in your classes And I went home kind of freaked out that all these kids chasing me I thought what a cool thing that is now to have I can use a celebrity have a real voice and use it in a proper way use it for Good thing.

1:39:32So That forever changed my life and that's where the the foundation came involved and I can really make a difference for kids. It's usually foster youth and just advantage youth. But to put a smile on kids face is just the best feeling anyway. And hard to do if I was playing Jeffrey Dahmer, hard to do, I couldn't do it if I was doing this role or doing that role or doing that role, but because I did something that kids could watch. My daughter never saw any of this stuff, but these kids were all the way over. So anyway, I had such conduit to kids and that became such a beautiful payday for me.

1:40:08There's a greatest payday for me doing anything and Marvel was my access to give love to kids, to inspire kids, to give them, especially this fast -to -use and just advantageous from opportunities and clan some seeds of hope for them. Can you remember what your last scene was in the filming schedule for the entire sort of franchise so far, what was the last thing you did? The last day that you were on set, were you there for the final day of filming overall to give the big... Oh, yeah, yeah, we had all that. We got all of us together just to do press. We had to get all the Avengers together because it got quite big in -game.

1:40:46So that was like a big sort of high school reunion kind of feeling. I'm like, oh my God, I know it. Nobody's in costume this time. But yeah, the last day of filming, yeah, it was a reshoot, I believe, for Scarlet and I. Her death scene, which is brutal. But I also did the Hawkeye series, so then that continued on. Kicks it on. Yeah, that kind of continued on. And you know, I'd like to say I love to continue on. But mainly continuing because I like the character, and I think it can do a lot for more with kids within. I want to affect a lot of kids. Was there ever a sense of poetic irony that Hawkeye, given that one of your eyes was out of your head and on the floor?

1:41:33Did that pass? Probably other stuff to focus on during the first five year period, but yeah, yeah. Yeah, no, I didn't cut my head. So what are you focused on now? What's coming up next for you? Well, I stick really quite present. I kind of try not to let my future get a hold of me, because it didn't the past. So I focus the Renerations Foundation. I have a couple camps that I'm doing. It's grown quite significantly, which is great. A lot of support, a community support. So I'm really focused on that as a outside of my mental health and physical health and the foundation is probably second in line as far as priority.

1:42:21That's a bigger scope is something. And all my families involved in the foundation as well, which is so Killer it's given them a You know real direction in life as well my passion to to help kids So it's really easy and my sister you know running it And then work wise. Yeah, there's a other movie coming out later this year I'm excited about the knives out Third one in that and then American stounds continued on and people seem to really like that one It does well for Paramount Plus. I'll probably do one more season for sure. It seems if people still like it, which I think you do. It's going to be a pretty cool season.

1:43:04But outside that, I'm building a house. I'm always building and designing and doing those things and trying not to get too busier than just that. That's a pretty booked year. I'm trying not to work anymore for the rest of the year so I can go focus on the foundation and helping that grow and that sort of stuff. So those are the important things to me. In my family, of course, I can't wait to spend the summer with my daughter. She loves working with the foundation and helping the kids and it's pretty cool. Pretty cool to see her growth as an emotional, emotionally intelligent creature. She's a lovely, lovely human.

1:43:44My daughter has become out to be so very proud. I'm happy for you man. Yeah, thanks man. I'm really happy. I'm really happy. Jeremy Rana, ladies and gentlemen, you're awesome. I think being able to see somebody publicly go through a challenge like this is really important. It really, really is. Yeah. I'm glad it became a public thing. I'm glad I never want it to be. because I woke up and there was like, you know, I thought I was gone for a while, but by the time I woke up, it was like it was everywhere, right? And like that was a private moment between me and my nephew with my family on my driveway.

1:44:30So none of your damn business.

1:44:34But I guess I just kind of leaned into it and just made it a public. So then I shared a private experience with everybody. And it was wonderful. It's, it's, that's where a lot of the narrative grew from me being a man or a brother or just a friend or I wasn't the actor anymore. I was just somebody that went through something, something they might be curious about or not or just someone that's had a lot, right? So that was, I'm really glad it became such a public thing. And I'm glad who me being very private, typically, shared a lot of sort of milestones that I had through social media or through the press.

1:45:09The press is very like whatever I said on social media. They just went out and printed everywhere I'm glad I created a lot of wonderful relationships with the public with fans The you can't just I mean I'm glad I'm so glad for it But I tried I tried to do the Diane Sawyer thing and then say okay, here's what happened You know that now let's move on let me get back to my now. No, no, no, no, that just just beginning the book to the interviews Oh, yeah, all the stuff so So even like with this book, it's not going to be, it's just only going to be a chapter. It's not going to be, I'm letting this go for the rest of my life.

1:45:48I'm never going to let this go. It's just always going to be part of now my DNA. I mean, it is for me. And you know, the importance of it will be maybe less in public, which would be good. But it's, it's something I was, I can't just shove away anymore. It's just now become a central part of who I am. And I'm thankful for that. Maybe don't do it again. I'm not gonna do that again now. I'm on the snowcat again, but you know, I'm just, you know, I'm not, I'm not letting harm me. That's not happening. Jeremy, I appreciate you, man. Yeah, thanks brother. Appreciate it. Ooh, tasty Jeremy Rana made it all the way to the end of that episode.

1:46:27Well, why not watch the Indian Hawkeye, Naval Ravikhan. Friday