Raccoon Wars, Lindsay Clancy, NFL Scammers & Past Crimes - Matt McCusker #1149

33:06The husband's already married. He's remarried. The weird thing is it's been three years is quite a long time. It's not a long time to get over something traumatic. But for everyone that I didn't, I'd never heard Lindsey Clancy's name until three weeks ago. Yeah. And for him, this is part of, think about where you were three years ago, three and a half years ago. Like that was quite a long time ago. It was a while, but it's like, yeah. But I think, I think he's just like, I could be wrong. I think he just like works in an office. Sounds like an office job. Yeah. It sounds like an office job. That would be, that'd be insane.

33:33I had a psychiatrist earlier on this week and he worked in the ward where she was discharged from. He like knows the doctors that prescribed her all of the medications, the people that looked after her care, everything. And there's a little bit, I think, especially a lot of guys sort of defaulted to, she killed her kids. Right. yeah uh and then there was a little bit of me as he was it was an hour of him just explaining the deep neuroscience of what happened with the pharmacology and and and um what happens with the psychosis and how all-encompassing and and like totally compelling it is and basically your agency is taken away from you to use the example talking of like farting and shedding you use the example of you know when you go to the bathroom and you take a dump and you're like one huh one wipe wasn't enough like i need to go again and you don't even think about it you just do it so That's kind of what psychosis is like.

34:23You don't even think about it. You kind of just get compelled. So he's an hour of him explaining it to me. And as he was doing it, there was a little bit of me that was thinking, this is, I thought I had my position. And now you have decided to like, just pull the pin on this grenade. And now I'm all conflicted again. And now I'm with everyone else. He's like, I don't know what, how do we deal with this as a society? Here's the thing to me. It's like, yeah, it sucks. It's like the whole situation sucks. the poor i like really felt bad for the dad i was reading about him last night like damn this guy actually just started his life over i'm like that sounds sad and then you have the lady who it's like yeah she you know strangled her children to death and you know maybe she was in psychosis the thing too is like if she had been a meth addict and got high on meth and then killed her kids everybody got to throw the book at her since i guess she's trying to get you know help or whatever it's slightly different my only problem is when like because you get you have people now who even like neuroscience types who were like free will is an illusion we don't have free will it's just all it's all expression of genetics and it's like okay well if that's the case and somebody does this if they're just essentially like a lump of meat just why not just discard of them you know what i mean because if we have there's no free will and people are just gonna do this kind of thing which i don't think is her case really because it was like the medication and psychosis but i don't know i think you gotta park i say i think you just gotta park those people forever it's like look this isn't fair this sucks that their thing is she is going to be parked forever it's is she going to be parked with culpability or is she going to be parked with uh an excuse or a reason right it's like she's going to be well if she gets a psychosis i think she's uh mandatory like psych psychiatric asylum for a year per year at a time with her case to be reviewed every year so there's a world i didn't know that yeah i think she'll only be held for a year i could be wrong but i think she'll only be held for a year before she gets reviewed and gets reassessed and they could keep her forever they could reassess her every year she could get out so it's one of those things where it's like even even if it's pure psychosis if someone can fall into that level of psychosis and obviously it's on record it's like yo you kind of got to be she's a distinctive looking lady as well it's going to be very hard to come out even in five years time and not not be well she's paralyzed too right that as well yeah but all of that together it's it's i think the saddest thing that's ever it's like not the saddest it is really fucking sad but it's as close to as sad as it gets doesn't i mean dead kids suicide attempt paralysis like postpartum depression public scrutiny loads of women wearing pink it's it's oj simpson for white women that's what it is yeah that's exactly what it really is it's also again it's one of those things where it's like i'd love to ask the protesting ladies like where do you want to see happen in this you do you want to have her to live with you like what are we talking about what are we are you going to take care of this lady you know because she's like the state failed her put her in the hands of state mental care it's like maybe not if the state failed so badly because that's where she's going back to you you gotta park her you gotta give her the bane treatment dude it's like sad bottom of a well yeah you gotta just be chained yeah or yeah bulk her up feed her pizza for a while it's so fucked up and i did the same thing i heard about that i'm like fuck that lady dude and then you read about it you're like god that's so fucking sad but it's also like she's a sick ticket dude it's like you get once you strangle your children in the basement it's like all bets are off in my book it's like it's just it's sad it's fucked up there's complexity to it but it's like you know what else is interesting i think uh you look at the gender split of support for and against it's almost exclusively women who are in support but not necessarily only men that are against because mothers kind of get split into two groups because some of the mothers especially the ones that have been through postpartum go wow that was fucking rough that was really hard and maybe i think dr k gave me the stats he says about three in ten thousand get postpartum psychosis and of the psychosis sufferers five percent get homicidal ideation thought yeah so it's like a chunk of a chunk of a chunk like it but yeah because there's 60 000 births a day in the u.s the law of large numbers means it's like one person every one lady every day who's maybe gonna have this the homicidal thoughts with the psychosis and all the rest of this stuff.

38:55He's like explaining it to me and going through all of this. But what that means is there's some women who will see the beauty and the delicate nature of their children and just get the total tiger mom, mother bear, like I can't believe that this would happen aggression. And then there's another group of ladies who are gonna think I was close to feeling down and bad and I wasn't myself. So even that is kind of split into two different groups. It is, stuff like this. I mean, do you ever think when situations like this occur, Netflix, all of the executives must just be going like, yes, fucking come on.

39:35Here's six more hours of content. Exactly. This is season two. Netflix just renewed season two of a documentary they haven't finished filming. Well, they must have done because they're going to run the trial back. They'll fire this back up. They're thinking to themselves, they're like, well, there's episode five. Yeah. And then fuck, they're doing it again. Right, okay, we finish it on five episodes. We'll run it back for season two. This is like making a murderer. You're like, hey, keep the case going. Yeah. Come on. Yeah, this is another. Tell me if this sounds familiar. You train regularly.

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41:13Like that's a thing that like, that's how people live now. it's not what you're supposed to do like they really should be like as soon as you have a kid you should be with other mom ladies and other ladies and just like you should have a lot of people around you at all times it's i think it's a relatively pretty new thing of like just have a kid and sit in a fucking house for a year by yourself as a lady i think especially it's like really fucked up i asked uh literally an expert who wrote a book called dad brain so there's mum brain which you lose about three percent of your gray matter it's like executive function you forget where the keys are but what is interesting is you actually become better at knowing about stuff to do with the kid you're just really bad at knowing about some other stuff you know managing your calendar or doing finances or whatever and dads have kind of the same sort of a thing i was talking to her and she thinks the same thing she thinks that it's almost exclusively mediated by is there support do you feel like you're well contained and held by the local community there used to be this time louise perry taught me about this it was this time called laying in you ever heard of this so laying in was a month-long period in the middle ages where a woman that had just given birth all that she did was lie in the living room or whatever and everybody had to do stuff for her like be nice to her like bring her food help her go to the bathroom help her get washed like what do you want you need a shoulder rub like we'll look after the baby like it's just everybody was as kind of probably an infuriating amount of attention yeah actually if you were a bit of an introvert you're like okay this has been nice but i would like you to leave and um yeah that was it and now you think no mandatory maternity leave and people are back in the fucking solo cubicle office within like we still haven't even physically recovered oh yeah haven't haven't and now you're at work going like i make you know i have to make more than basically um daycare basically if i don't make as much as daycare then i'm at home you're running on a treadmill it's you versus daycare and if you don't run fast enough you yeah it's kicked off the back of it dude it's yeah it's brutal and especially when you have a kid that first like two weeks or so everyone's like hey everyone's stopping by and then it's just like that's over and it's just you and you're like you know if you're you're just sitting there you're nursing it all the time that's like constantly releasing hormones when they're feeding from you that you don't produce enough milk it's it's kind of a nightmare dude it really is uh should be revisited as to like how people go about doing that kind of stuff.

43:34Cause it's, it's not, it's not good at all. I think we got the 90 day maternity leave from a, there was just like a therapist back. I think it was an English guy who was just like Winnicott. He was just like, yo, you got to give these, you got to give these people like at least a couple months. Yeah. He determined, he was like 90 days is the bare minimum. You have to give them nine months mandatory. Is it really? Yeah. I don't think we do that here. I think we got like churn and burn. Yeah. Yeah. He's got to get it, got to get you back into the meat grinder. There's some emails that need sending.

44:02come on it's nine you said it's nine months nine months you can pick when as well so if you want to do from a month before and then have eight months after yeah my business partner's wife was like like trying to take it up to the fucking limit like absolutely like she went to a spice girls concert the day she was due and then went the day after like we gave birth the day after and they were like look if we give birth while jerry halliwell's on stage doing like what i want what i really really want it's fine that's fine like what that's kind of a cool story but they had floor tickets that's how spice girls are made they had floor tickets that's insane dude floor tickets floor tickets in the middle of a stadium for spice girls as a concert it was seated right but like bro that's big crazy massive like on a swiss ball this morning spice girls tonight just imagine like i was at the spice girls concert and then like some ladies water broke next to me and it was fucking wild yeah it does it definitely when you're like with a woman who goes through the whole process of like being pregnant and giving birth it really does like flip a switch in your head where you're like wow you guys can do cool stuff not in a bad way i know that sounds passionizing but i got i got all that i just like you just got in the way of my farting it really i should say that's a horrible way to put it but it really does give you a deeper appreciation where you're kind of like damn that's because they they fucking champ childbirth is terrifying and you watch them go through it and you're like where the fuck was this fucking stoicism where was this shit i've known you for three years like i've seen belly aches take you out now you're just dude literally like if i pass out grab me i'm like okay like what the fuck like like battle vets like joker willink's your wife's body she comes in in camo fatigues with a fucking rifle it's like kind of it's like terrifying you see it they're just it's unbelievable but yeah that is that is a thing that kind of completes the whole picture we were like oh okay all right this is now i can see the full kind of spectrum here the lady navy navy seal transition is crazy i wonder uh what what changes what changed with you like how did you change well what having kids you're saying?

46:17Yeah. Um, well the, the main one is, it's kind of funny. The main one is like kind of painfully obvious. It's like, you don't realize and not even like in a bad way. I don't know if it's like necessarily a bad way. Cause I think everyone does this just how self-absorbed, how all of your thoughts are just like bong, bong, bong, like all day long. And it's like natural. It's very natural. Then you have like a kid and you're like, it literally just plants almost like another self in your brain that you're always thinking about this person. You're still about yourself and then like it's it's very weird how that works because it is because you notice like you know you're like all right it's time i'm gonna do this and you're like you have to do something with a kid and you're like all right i'll get to that later then you start being like i'll never get to that other thing it's just not happening like i'm never gonna do it and you kind of go through this weird kind of like inner transformation over time where you're like just letting certain things die off and you but it's it's nice because you know you feel good to like no one really enjoys an insane level of selfishness i think too much attention on yourself i saw this tweet the other week that said something like um you're not autistic you're just spending too much time in the house on your own and it's making you weird i also don't think you you should like i don't think your brain's designed to think about yourself for more than like 30 something years because i had a kid when i was like in my 30s and i remember being like i've played all the hits of like why don't i do this i'm gonna do this and i'm like i remember thinking like just getting kind of fucking old i'm like circling all these tracks and you have a kid you're like all right thank god i can just think about you now yeah you know there was a a friend told me about a mentor of his that had explained that exact thing and he said one day you just get sick of yourself yeah one day you just get sick of yourself and you go okay i've got this other thing now and the jimmy carr talks about saying it's um uh having a child is um uh it's a surgical procedure where your own heart now lives outside of your own body yeah like you just okay now this is the thing that's the most important but yeah i mean i i definitely believe a lot of the malaise and like business pursuits and and like weird habits and and like obsessions that guys have are just surrogate families they haven't got around to yet you think so much of this would be fixed if you just had a yeah had a baby that you were looking after because it would clean out all the barnacles off the bottom of the ship or maybe it would just completely torpedo your life because you can't afford it i don't know that too but also it is there is something where it's like um like i've tried a lot of stuff for a lot of kids i'd be like all right i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do that and you do things you're like yeah i guess it's kind of cool when you have a kid it's like it like clicks in a very obvious set groove in your brain we're like yes this makes sense why i'm doing this now because i would do things i'm like why am i even doing this and you're just like okay this all makes sense yeah it's like it's like a baked in kind of purpose it's just and it's funny too because like when you examine it from like you know like advantages and all this stuff it's like just more so disadvantages like i get hit in the nuts constantly i get woken up early dude kids just hit you in the nuts right as soon as well they're like they're they'll let go to like hit you they're just nut height and they just go and they'll jump on your nuts they just they're just like oh they don't have any concept of like nuts so they just jump they just jump like i'm about to land on my dad boom right in the nuts punchy right the nuts you're getting your nuts are just getting obliterated never-endingly you're waking up all the time you never get sleep every day you're like i'm you know making meals doing stuff and it's like you it's just you're happy to do it it's weird it's like a very uh i don't know it's like a very funny thing about like the deals laid out like all right what am i getting out of this and it's like you'll get repaid with like like last night i was about to go to bed and i did i saw they had we have like an inflatable alien thing in our house they won from like chuck e cheese and they had dressed it up in a princess peach dress so i'm going i look up the steps there's just an alien in a princess and you just laugh for like five minutes like what the fuck and it's like that you get like little rewards from just like complete nonsense just random shit well i wonder if you could market this is my showing how much i've spent time in america that if you're on a tv show you can commercialize yourself into a cereal that given that dad's getting hit in the nuts a lot that maybe you could make a special cup that's designed just for dads that wouldn't be bad the dad cup yeah it wouldn't be bad just wear it for a couple actually not a bad idea even if it wasn't full the sports cups can be a little rigid but even just a little bit of padding needs to dampen it a bit yeah just a little bit because you get it's you react in the moment as if some just random guy came up and punched you in the dick you're like oh what the fuck and they're like you're like i'm sorry guys i'm fine you're like instantly like we're about to fight and you have to be like ah sorry guys i'm fine it just really hurts me when you do that you've got to try and explain like does it hurt child language yeah like does it hurt now i'm like no it's gonna hurt hold on just wait me 10 seconds like yeah here it comes oh yeah but it it really does though it helps me for me it really put into perspective like okay i love my kids a lot that other human beings somebody's kid i should try to be as nice as i can to them if i you know if i can help it was somebody's kid in the past as well well now you have like you have um i don't know what you would call it but it's like now you have something people can be like i hate because if someone's like i hate you i'm like whatever don't give a fuck someone's like i hate your kids i'd be like fuck you dude so you're like i can't be because if someone were that mean to my children it's more so like doing to others as to yourself but like your kids are like 10 times you know that goes back to your thing about at what age do we say okay this person's culpable like this is this is your you you're responsible for yeah sam harris has this great thought experiment you know uday hussein is saddam hussein's son okay have you ever read about what he did no he's a bad guy he makes his he actually makes his father look like a lovely man like a very very nice man he's like mini cooper crazy how ruthless he was he would like turn up at weddings kill everybody except the husband then assault the wife in front of the husband then kill the husband then kill the wife jesus just because he could like it was why i once had a guy on the podcast who had to look after him as he flew to vegas and like get him cocaine and all of this stuff and he was just going around vegas trying to be this warlord from the middle east but anyway sam sam harris has this um example it's kind of like maybe one of the most evil guys that's ever lived yeah and you say uh at what point does uday hussein become culpable for his actions you say okay so he's two years he's got the genetics of his a warlord father right um and he's three years old and he's pushing the other kids in nursery or whatever he had.

53:02And you go, well, you know, he's three, like kind of not really. And you go, okay, roll the clock forward. He's six and he's pulling the wings off of flies. Uh, and he's grown up in this honor culture, this sort of father, the genetics, but then this reinforcement of dad is, he lets him do, everyone lets dad do whatever he wants. And you go, okay, well, he's six. And then you go, okay, like just roll the clock forward. Like at what point? And it's really difficult. I'm not saying that people that are adults aren't responsible or kids aren't responsible for what they do but it's kind of it fucks you up as a question because you go i don't know you do look at a kid and think well no and we also even have that reflected in the legal system where there's juvie right oh they're an equivalent yeah why why a where that johnny chang guy went young young offenders or whatever it's called young adult thing uh yeah yeah what point does this horrible guy like maybe one of the worst people that's ever lived do you point the finger and go yeah you're now you're responsible for what you did and the same thing with well he was someone's son at some point yeah and but some people are assholes and you're allowed to say you hate them yeah well it's also like yeah again he was saddam hussein's son so i think most people are like fuck both of those guys but it's like it is it just kind of colors your thinking you know what i mean where you're kind of like yeah you know let me like more for just like strangers would like do stuff usually you know you're driving around you're like oh that guy like offended me somehow i'm just gonna go nuts and you start to kind of be like, eh, maybe that guy's having a tough, you know, small stuff like that.

54:25But I feel like once somebody does irreparable harm to another person, you're able to be like, it's sad. That is someone's child. But, you know, we got 8 billion of us here. We got to, that guy's - We got enough. Sorry. Yeah. Put them away. Yeah. You lost your chance. Yeah, exactly. I feel like it comes to a point where it's like, you know, it's not ideal, but you're like, bro, get out of here. Yeah. It'd be nice to be like, oh, let's just like put you away in like one of those Norwegian jails where you get to learn drums or whatever. And it's like, I don't know. Some people just got to be tossed away.

54:53Get to the low cross. They have, too. The jail in Norway is kind of sick. I'm pretty sure there's a quiz on the internet, which is, is it a Norwegian jail or a British university halls of residence? And it's essentially impossible to work out which one it is. And the halls of residence, a lot of the time, were old jails that were just near a university. And then they cleared people out. That was the case in Newcastle where I went. One of the halls of residence used to be like a correctional facility. Really? Yeah. And they just like, that's a big building. We can probably put students in there.

55:30That'll be fine. Just want to change your painting. Yeah, yeah. Put some paintings up, you know, like change the color, get rid of the bars and we'll be fine. That's crazy. I used to have an office, but I had an apartment that was in an old insane asylum. It's pretty cool. It was, when you had to get in, there was just like kind of like labyrinth under to get kind of like, you know, the basement level. It was fucking terrifying looking. Are you not worried about ghosts and shit like that? I didn't sleep there. If I had slept there, I'd have been terrified. I was just there during the day. So it was like my apartment, office apartment.

55:59So I would go there and work during the day, but I never slept there. I would be so scared of crazy ghosts for sure. No, thank you. Baby stranglers. In other news, have you ever noticed how some websites make it ridiculously easy to buy while some feel infinitely harder? Back in my day, I had to walk 10 miles to the local store. Aren't you younger than me? yeah but my dad got a DUI Anyway, the reality is most businesses just get the website wrong. And if your setup is messy, you lose a ton of sales, which is why I'm such a massive fan of Shopify. They power 10 % of all e-commerce in the United States, including brands like Gymshark, Skims, Allo, and Nutonic.

56:39Because when it comes to converting browsers into buyers, they are best in class. Their checkout's 36 % better on average compared to other platforms. And with ShopPay, it can boost conversions by 50%. So upgrade your business and get the exact same checkout that we use at Newtonic with Shopify. You can sign up for a free trial period by going to the link in the description below or heading to shopify.com slash modern wisdom. That's shopify.com slash modern wisdom. I know that you're into writing and stuff. Have you ever read Leo Tolstoy's diary entries? Have you ever seen any of these? I've read some of his short stories.

57:12Might be some of the best diary entries ever. What was he on about? September 19th, 1858 Decided that one must love and work and that's it September 20th, tired, didn't work and didn't love Just the best March 31st, 1852 Woke up at 6 o 'clock, woke everyone up I did not get up and slept until 9 That's it, that's his whole time January 25th, 1851 on i've fallen in love or imagine that i have went to a party and lost my head bought a horse which i don't need at all the guy sounds fucking awesome yeah he does man he tolstoy was another one of those russian guys right the russian writers are unbelievable built different yeah 100 dude they'd be living in the insane asylum yeah i would love that they're wild dudes i'm reading a dostoevsky book right now or however you say his name and it's dude those guys are that time I don't know when Tolstoy was live, but that like 1890s Russia time period, it's insane.

58:17Because like, you know, obviously there's no cell phones or whatever, but like you're just in a town full of people and like they would obviously have their beefs and quarrels and stuff. But like you couldn't like, you know, you can text someone out like, hey, what do you want to do? And if they don't get back to you, you're like, I don't think they want to hang out. You'd have to go to someone's house and they'd be like, go away. You'd be like, what the fuck's your problem? He'd be like, I don't like you. And he'd be like, okay, fuck. Do you think this is unique to Russia? Well, it's just that time period.

58:39In general. But it was just like, you know, just the way they talk to each other is so funny. I think in general, probably the whole area is like that. The way that beef unfolded before cell phone, before being able to make phone calls is, well, everything's face to face. And it was also that like old time kind of like vocal register where they'd be like, your presence offends me. Get out. Because you would do, it's like they do it in the book where like you got to find matches. So if you don't know where your matches are, they were like your cell phone. because like if you were if it was nighttime you had a light matches light a candle people just come into your house and be like hey was i i need my wife's giving birth i need or i need so you're just sleeping he's like who's there and he'd be like oh it's me like get out i don't like you and he's like hey i need to talk to you now and they'd be like be gone fool and he's like where are my matches and you'd be fumbling around in the dark and you light a match and be like oh fuck it's some other guy dude it was like it's just fucking it was crazy to think about they'd be like well very well i shout and come back and i i'll i'll leave you here you wretched beast he'd be like you're a fool it's just like all right then you just go to bed you're like fuck that guy the idea that you're in your entire existence is reliant on whether or not you can find your matches and you've got you've got beefs that play out in front i mean it's crazy yeah yeah yeah there's uh those russian guys are fucking wild man there there was a i think i think it was Tolstoy actually he had a story about a guy and it was maybe it was like an old folktale that he like just wrote down but there was this guy who had like a farm and he was like damn this farm's cool I need a bigger farm he got an even bigger farm he's got greedy for more and more land eventually he went to these like I don't know what they would have been like indigenous Russian kind of like Inuit types and he went and found those guys and they're like dude if you can have all the land you want he traded them something for it he's like but you got to walk it off and And as far as you walk from sunup to sundown, if you make a circle or a square and connect the dot, we'll give you all that land.

1:00:27He's like right on. He walked so far. He ended up just dying basically because he kept walking and trying to get there, ran and just dies. And there's like, all right, bury him. It's like, what a fucked up story. It's the most Russian story. Yeah. I read, it's called A Swim in a Pond in the Rain. And it's basically nine short stories, Russian short stories. And after every page, the guy that actually wrote the book explains how to read it yeah who was that by uh saunder i maybe i forget it's kind of yeah it's kind of famous yeah i'll be like this one's boring yeah this one just sucks but those guys i don't know what it's it's you know what it is it's so stark and just you're reading it you're like jesus christ life sucks yeah it doesn't make me feel good it was actually we were talking about this before like some things some experiences that you You go through, you can do NAD, which is this IV thing that's supposed to make you healthy.

1:01:21And it's awful. The whole time it's awful. And then once you've finished, it doesn't feel awful anymore. And you go, oh, maybe I'm better. Maybe it improved my health. Or maybe I just don't feel awful anymore. And it's kind of like reading anything about Russian literature or about that period. You're like, maybe it's taught me something about my life. Or maybe I just don't feel awful anymore because that sucked. It's so mean. Everyone's mean and everything's gray and there's not enough food. and the horse just died and the wheel of the carriage broke and someone's son just got leukemia and no one even knows what leukemia is.

1:01:54I was about to die of dysentery. And then you go, oh, that's over. And now I feel better about my life by contrast. Yeah, it gives you like 30 seconds. Then you're right back to being like, I'm bored. This coffee's too hot. Yeah, I don't like this. This bean's overroasted. Got hit in the nuts. Yeah, just got fucking whacked. Yeah, it's, um, that stuff is nice. I do like to kind of think about that stuff a lot or just like, I really, really, really challenge myself to not sink into, and I can do this easily of just like, whatever that mindset is and me being like, this is bad and just getting like shitty and nasty.

1:02:36It's like there it's for me, it's just like, it's so inexcusable, dude. It's like, you don't, what are you doing? That should be the first for me, I'm talking to myself, the number one focus of the day. Usually I'm like, I got to get this and I got to do this. I'm like, I need to not be just whining and just kind of like, well, if I said that to you, shut the fuck up. It's just to me personally. I'm like, shut up, man. Why are you doing this? So I really try to like every day I like wake up and I'm like, give me one. Let me try to get it perfect one day. Defeat the voice that complains about stuff.

1:03:09Just bullshit, dude. It is interesting. the more that somebody complains, the less accurate their view of reality is. Because usually you're complaining about reality not meeting your expectations. But that's not reality's fault. Like, it's your fault. It's your fault that reality didn't meet your expectations. Obviously, stuff can happen in the world that's unfair and that sucks and whatever, you should point it out. But the complaining bit to yourself, it's like, why is there all this traffic on the way to work? You go, well, because there's traffic. And you didn't anticipate there being traffic.

1:03:39But it's not the traffic's fault. And let's not forget as well that you are traffic. Yeah, you're another guy. You're fucking contributing to this in the middle of it. And yeah, reality is a thousand and oh, undefeated. It's total knockout. Reality is completely undefeated with regards to this. And the more that someone complains, you or if you've got a friend who's always complaining, I don't think you understand how the world works. You straight up can't understand how the world works. because if you did, your expectation would be closer to it and therefore you wouldn't be complaining as much.

1:04:13Yeah. No, yeah, it's 100 % true. Or for me, it's like raising, if things are good, I'll find trivial annoyances and I'll just put them to 10 and be like, this is fucking bullshit. And I'll just focus on that for like four hours, but this is fucking bullshit. And you're like, it's not even a real problem. Like that's in comparison to problems you've had before. That's like, you can just ignore that. it's strange because when you've got loads of big problems you think oh my god all of these problems are big and sometimes you actually have ones where you know this is a justifiable issue i need to deal with in life and then other times when there are no problems it's like the demand for problems is fixed and the supply needs to be brought up to meet that it's like i have a waterline of problems that i need to have in my life and i will lower the threshold for what constitutes a problem until I'm able to like make the things that are happening in my, it's like this fucking, I should have got it blended.

1:05:09I should have got it, I got it on the rocks and I should have got it fucking blended. And I know I should have got it blended. Morgan Housel's got this fucking awesome story where he kind of talks about this. He planned for a long time to go away to this holiday with his wife and they would done the research about, it was the first one, I think, where they were taking both of their kids. It was going to be this big deal. And it was the first time the kids were going to go abroad and they were all excited and you know they've had the kids for a while so they haven't really been able to go away and they've saved up the money and then they even looked at the the restaurant that they were going to go to in this big resort in mexico or something and they knew even the the menu in advance and the table they knew the table they wanted to sit because it's got apparently on the reviews it's got the best view of the sunset and this is the cocktail i'm gonna get i'm gonna get it blended instead of whatever and then they finally get there and they've got the kids it's a fucking nightmare and they arrive and they've dumped all of their stuff and it's the first night and the kids are at the nursery thing that looks after them for a little bit.

1:06:00And they've got this first time to sit down away from the kids in another country since they've had the kids, all the rest of it. And the first thing that he thought was, well, it is nice, but like there's some sand between my toes. And the sand is, that's distracting me. And I should have got it blended rather than on that. And the sunset, look, the sunset is nice, but I actually think it would have been, I don't think the reviews are quite right. And I think that that table there would have been better to see. And I didn't bring my glasses and now the sun's so low, it's sort of hitting me in the face and that's kind of a bit uncomfortable.

1:06:31He's like, what the fuck am I doing? Like, what am I doing? I've dreamed about this thing and the experience is so close. But I just, the human like curse is to, for everything to kind of be not quite as nice as he thought it was going to be. Oh, yeah. And then for you to focus on all the ways in which it's not as nice. Yeah, I think about it a lot. Like I remember, I can like clearly remember, you know when I like was like kind of living and dying by like I'd have a job or I fucking hated that job and I was like one day it'll come together and I'll make a living doing a thing I like and then I remember when that started to become something of a reality and it's like really unsettling I remember being like so I had all these problems I could rely on like fucking my boss is a dickhead I hate this I don't have money and then that stuff started to go away and I was like I felt like weird I was like oh this doesn't really feel good to not have all that stuff kind It doesn't have enough problems.

1:07:26It's comfortable in a way where at least I am familiar with this. And then you get out of that and you're like, yeah, I kind of did it. And then it's just like you're flooded with just different problems. When you look at them, you get so used to what life becomes. I remember being like, I would never fall into that kind of stuff. Then it happens and you're like, fuck. Doing exactly what I said I wouldn't do. I'm a piece of shit. But yeah, it really does. for me it's just like learning how to just slow myself down and not be such a fucking spaz every day like if i like if god forbid if i don't get something done or you know just one day if i don't get this or that done it's like just learning how to like chill and like i don't know man just like really hash out my priorities rather than being like you know just doing the things you think you're supposed to do you have to perfectly dominate the day and if you don't then you go about a loser.

1:08:17Yeah, or just feel like, it's not fair. Because again, with your ability to dream a world who's always going to outstrip reality's ability to deliver that to you, you're literally fantasizing about what this cocktail could have tasted like or how the sunset was or the lack of sand between your toes. Yeah. And you think, well, if you set this almost impossibly perfect standard for every single day, you're kind of guaranteeing yourself to be miserable. And it's interesting on the, the you get escape velocity freedom from this thing when all of the problems and your boss is a dick and you don't like it and you get out of that and then you almost have to grieve this weird life that you lost connor one of my friends who was on the show this week he talks about how when he had his when his wife was pregnant with his first kid and he'd lived in his car and rode a motorcycle with like spikes glued onto the helmet, like all of the things, red flags and your future son-in-law, like all of the shit that you don't want somebody to do.

1:09:19And his life could have gone in such a horrible direction, like smoking weed and selling weed and drinking booze and getting in fights and doing all this stuff. Wasn't a good productive member of society. And then he remembered when he was married with a house and a wife who was pregnant and he had this moment of like i made it out i made it i made i finally gotten free of what could have happened in my past life yeah and now i'm blown away by what where i am but he said it made him he didn't even know what it what the emotion was it was very confusing of like fuck that could have gone so wrong and now i'm in this new place and i don't think that i have to worry about those problems anymore i don't i don't have to worry about those things that were like my driving for my motivation my ambition all of that was driven out of i just don't want to be that guy that i was when i lived in my car in a walmart parking lot i still don't be that guy anymore yeah that's that's the that's the funny thing because i was like possessed to escape like the nine to five job that was like when i was younger i i would have you know would have done anything to just get the five like i can't do this but in an office i I did that for like, you know, I would do it for like three weeks and quit.

1:10:32I remember I was like more, I still am. I think about it every now and again. I'm like, dude, that like terrified me to such a level where I was taking like insane risks just to get out of that, you know? And it's like, who knows? I could always go back at any time, but it's like, dude, I remember I was thinking about that driving the other day. I was like, dude, when I was, my, my, my twenties were like just fucking insane. Like I could have died like for sure. A couple of times. It wouldn't have been that crazy. what was the what was the close or what were one of the closest times that you came to debt uh i've had guns pulled on i used to sell weed too so i would have guns pulled on me uh twice so that was like any other day the guy could have been like yeah i'm just gonna shoot actually shoot this guy rather than not do it i thought about it i was like holy fuck man that was crazy i'm really close yeah so you think about it you're like holy shit like that would have not been that crazy like debts and stuff like that robbery they're robbing me i wasn't i was not a robber i was the robbie so i would get robbed i would get robbed constantly i would just be like whatever fuck it sounds like the way you sound like the worst drug dealer ever well here's the thing i would well hold on i was it was these other guys that were the worst drug dealers i was doing my job i was on time i was punctual i was quality control very quality control forward you know i was i was never trying to rip people off but for me i was always for me money was always to buy kind of freedom so i never i didn't care about like nice stuff i never like wasted i I would just save all my money and be like, yes, I don't have to work for like six months.

1:11:56This is awesome. Then I would get robbed and I would just be like, all right, I'll make it again. Come on guys, let's go. But like, you just, you think about it and it's like, for me, it's like, yeah, it's cool. You know, the blah, blah, blah to get out of it and like risk taking. I think that's all good stuff. Then it's like, dude, I could have just like chilled out something internally too. Like I didn't have to go that crazy. You know, I could have, I could have slowly, but surely figured things out and blah, blah, blah. And it's like, yeah, I'm just, it's, it is a relief. You're like never have to worry about that like i've got pulled over by cops recently i'm just kind of like hey what's up guys before i would have been like my life's over i'm dead this is terrible i'm going to jail for it now i'm just kind of like what's up guys hello how you doing brother yeah it's it's it's so nice you sound like a very stand-up drug dealer i was it's a nice he's a dude i got that it was one compliment i always get they're like dude you're you're actually on time or this or that i was very good i didn't i never rip people off or anything like a shame that there aren't trust pilot reviews for drug dealers wouldn't that be good you'd have had you'd have had a great rating.

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1:13:51That's rpstrength.com slash modern wisdom and modern wisdom at checkout. But the thing is, if you're a drug dealer, a supplier, I guess, on the dark web, the game is completely different because it's not about who you know. It's basically, you're essentially running a Shopify store. You are. Like, how good are you at product photos and like, you know, writing headlines and stuff. There's just guys in one bedroom apartments now just quietly raking in millions of dollars a year, really quiet, unassuming life. You do it for a couple of years, you get out and you're like, all right, peace. You have to watch Bitcoin.

1:14:22I watched this Netflix documentary once about a guy that ran a similar service to the Silk Road from his bedroom and he was young. And as a part of the documentary, they recreated the bedroom perfectly. The old computer he had, the exact desk he had, the full-on dimensions, put it into a soundstage. And after he'd got out of jail, sort of put him back into it and seamlessly cut from archive footage of what was going on to reenactment by the guy in the same size, same shape, same color, same lighting, same computer bedroom. It was so immersive. It was really cool. Yeah, that's crazy. But yeah, the fact that being a drug dealer now means that you can basically just be an online marketer.

1:15:08It's like, how good are your Facebook ads, dude? It's a very different world to the one that you lived in. Yeah, it is. I didn't have, I remember hearing about the dark web when I was younger and I know guys who used to do that stuff, but I was like, I'm terrible with computers. I was like, I'm just in, I'm going to click yes and get arrested. So I'm like, let me just do what I know and just drive around here in my beat up car. But yeah, it was, uh, you know, it was just, I like, I think about it now cause it is, it was just such a weird thing. Cause I, I was like, it was like a decade. Like I did it for a long time so i had like a very very long time doing it to where i i think i like fried my nervous system my hair is i mean my family does kind of go gray early but i like went hyper gray really fast because you're adrenalized every fucking day and it's like so if you're in an office you're bored and that's a problem so i escaped that and i was just like constantly flooded with adrenaline just for like 12 years what are you worried about being caught being arrested pretty much it's more it's mostly being arrested any other problem interestingly not being killed i didn't i was like they're not gonna kill me i went there was one guy who pulled a gun on me and then i went back to them later because i was like you have to front me stuff from now on so i figured in my head like if i didn't have any leverage there'd be no reason to try to rob me i guess if that makes sense okay yeah yeah so i remember i went back like a battered wife and was just like all right i'll hang out with you again but don't do that all right i was really fucked up he had thought i had robbed him that was his whole thing because i had given him money to go get something and he would go get it and come back and he came back like hey they took all your money why the fuck did you i'm like why would i rob you to take my own money back and he was like i don't know what's going on he cocked a gun was holding at me my roommate at the time came out and was just like and he ran outside then he ran out there i was just like oh shit hang on the guy your roommate was the one that got poor poor roommate no i did he just came out like hey what's up yeah but he was the one that got chased well he was just like go get him and i was like i was just frozen i was like and then he ran out just kind of like i'm out of here too but he like ran out right after him and i was just like fuck was your roommate not involved in Not at all.

1:17:06He was mortified. You are the worst roommate. Horrible. I am, I think. I was the worst roommate. I was cool, though. I would cover extra stuff. But at that time - Because you're selling drugs. Yeah, I know. Come on. It's the one thing that you can provide is drugs and cash. That's literally it. But it was funny, too, because I did have a - I had a real serious conscience about it. I remember weed is like, you can really conscious free. I wouldn't sell to high school or something like that. So it was like, I didn't feel bad about that. The ethical drug dealer is crazy. Dude, I remember I dabbled in trying to sell Coke, which I've never done, by the way.

1:17:40I've never done Coke. I tried selling Coke for a while, and I remember this guy would come get it off me all the time. And I remember stopping people and being like, dude, you're doing this stuff too much. You have to chill. And they'd be like, shut the fuck up. Actually, an ethical drug dealer is a horrible drug. You're the worst drug dealer. That was bad. Yeah, I can't believe you had a decade career and something that you're bad at. Well, it was also, though, the weed was my strong suit. Because that was like, you're dealing with kind of like-minded people for the most part, you know, and it's pretty chill, all things considered.

1:18:09But once you scale up and you get into like bigger money, that's when like a real criminal element enters. And that's when people, yeah, yeah. So yeah, I know someone who got just shot in the face, point blank. They try to set up like a, you know, 50, 60 pound deal. Someone flew out cross country to meet them right in the head. That was it. Yeah. It's like, it gets gnarly, but you start off just like slinging ace to like your boys and it's just all very chill. It slowly gets like scarier and scarier. Work your way up. You were saying before about, you know, you walk up the stairs. I mean, I guess your old roommate would have maybe seen something crazy at the top of the stairs, but it wouldn't have been an inflatable alien with a princess peach.

1:18:51You just replaced one like slightly intimidated, very worried roommate with two small, sort of insane, these kids are kind of always on drugs. Yeah. they kind of behave in the manner of a like a child is essentially a drunk adult yeah in tiny form for sure you're like what are you doing you're like headstands like why like i don't know it's rules yeah it's sick it's sick comes up and punches you yeah what's that about i don't know i've got my i've got my dad cup on yeah uh but the difference is my housemate's away in montenegro at the moment and there is something really like kind of despondent about coming home and nothing's moved like nothing's changed but that cup is in the exact same place yeah as when i left it this morning and i just want someone to come in like even if they mess my stuff up a bit just vandalize it slightly just a little bit like move the cup no i just want new mess yeah a different mess or something like yeah no but it's really like oh it's the same it's the same as it was before that's there it is it's dude it's a yeah that's when i travel for stand-up all like my hotel rooms.

1:19:58It's the same. I walk into that silence and I'm like, yeah, just kind of people like, that must be great. Right. I'm like, no, I don't. I really, I really dislike it. But, but yeah, that was kind of like my, my whole, my, I guess the thing that I've like learned like horribly in the wrong, like the hard way is that like, if at my early twenties, cause the problem was, is like, at least I think in school it's geared towards like achieve for yourself and yourself alone, get into the best school, make the best, make the most money. But then you're like set on this track that you're like, like, I remember being like in college being like, I don't really care about that, but I also want to do well and I want to have a nice life.

1:20:33And it was like, had this big conflict where I was like, if I were to talk to like a 20 year old now, I'd be like, find something you like to do that maybe benefits other people. And that will actually give you enough meaning to like endure the horrible time in your early career where you're eating shit and everyone, you know, it sucks. Cause I try to like lightning jump ahead of that. And it just was like a fucking disaster for like 15 years. It was one disaster after another just to get out of like, I was such a pussy about having a job and being like, I deserve more than this. And it's like, I almost died.

1:21:05You deserve to have a gun pointed at me. I almost literally died because I could have just like found something I was interested in. Because I couldn't drink coffee and sit in a cubic. Yeah, I know. Dude, for real, I like see office guys hanging out at like lunchtime, like 10 people at lunch. And it would get to the point where I would be like envious of them. I'm like, dude, that actually looks nice. That looks nice. You're having a great time. everyone's kind of chilling don't need to take your work home with you you're not worried about someone breaking your door down your housemate doesn't hate you yeah you're just you're just it's so it's like and i remember like almost craving boredom at a point where i was like i wish i fucking was bored that'd be awesome not to worry about like 90 million different things and you know it's like people really sort of shit talk university going to college or whatever and then they do the same thing about having a nine-to-five and it's cool to be being able to do your own thing or build your thing or work on someone's thing that's smaller and you've got more ownership over all that shit's great but it's not it's not necessarily better and that i don't have to take my work home with me i get my weekends off when i want i don't have to worry about like making pay for the people that work for me and like all of that shit a lot of people think are working for myself means i get to choose when i work but what it results in is you're just working all the time yeah and you go i do you want that is that kind of what your dream is and you're right as well to say that um you're going to have to endure a bunch of you're going to have to eat some shit yeah it's like what flavor shit can you eat yeah because some people can eat the cubicle coffee lunch break shit super easy and other people can eat the i'm never gonna get a day off shit super easy it's like which what pain do you want in your life there's that line about um like do what feels like play to you but looks like work to everyone else but that kind of ignores the fact that even the most existentially aligned thing that you do in your life is regularly going to feel like work it's regularly going to feel like shit so what shit do you want yeah like not what fun and play do you want it's like even writing your books and stuff you turn up and you've managed to have the perfect morning and you've seen sunrise and the kids are off and you trained and you've got the right amount of caffeination and you sit down and you go fuck yeah just a blinking curse you versus a blinking curse or you're just you're tweaking a sentence for the 30th time and you're just like you're like dude i feel like i'm gonna pass out i'm like i'm sitting in a chair i have no blood going to my brain and i'm like uh is that a perfect claw yeah it's just anything and i love i love writing and it's like even yeah even then you're like fuck but that that's with anything it's like you're not even like what it's like just why just if like just figuring out like why are you doing this outside of your own personal gain because that'll fizzle out even if you get it it's like is there a compelling reason to do a thing is it for other people is it for just like you know creating something new of yourself whatever the fuck it is but that that was the one thing like i completely missed and i got older and i was just kind of like oh there it is yeah fuck i could have there should be a name for when you disregard cliches and then in future realize that the cliche was right yeah you know yeah yeah it's it's that thing that everybody says but because everybody says it it feels trite which means that it can't be true so i'm not going to do it because that's fucking gay yeah and then you realize like oh god i already had it i literally had it and i got rid of it and it was some shit my mom said to me when i was 13 yeah that was uh i've been reading you know chesterton williams uh that another Englishman.

1:24:36G.K. Chester. Yeah, G.K. Chester, and that's his name. I love reading his essays, and he has this book I'm reading right now called Orthodoxy, where he started out being like, I'm about to come up there. Someone was like, he did a book that kind of criticized a lot of other philosophical systems of his time. Someone was like, what's your philosophical system? He's like, all right, get this. Lays it out, and then he goes, fuck, this is Christianity. He was like, fuck, I just explained Christianity. He starts his book with the story of a sailor who's off one degree. So he thinks he's going to South Africa and he ends up just rediscovering England.

1:25:10He just goes in a circle and lands back in England. Like I've discovered England guys, check it out. And everyone's like, yeah, dude, it's been here forever. And it's just such a funny idea. He was like a real like witty, you know, he's obviously a really sharp witty guy. And he was like, I'm about to blow their minds with, he's like, this is the, this is, and he just put it together and he was like, it's just Orthodox Christianity. Yeah. He said he, yeah, he was like, you know, he thought he was only, he was like, I felt like I was like 10 minutes ahead of like the pulse of everything. Turned out I'm like 1800 years behind.

1:25:42You do, you get older and you're all fucking sparks and fireworks. You're like, dude, I'm, and then you get old and you're just like, yeah, I'm just another old guy being like, Hey, be careful before you make decisions, man. Try to think about, man, I'm doing this my way. Okay. Advice is lame. Try to think about others. Like, yeah, thanks. Thanks, dickhead. Yeah. Yeah. And then you find out it's true. The, um, the alchemist by Paolo Coelho, uh that was like the first book i read i went so long without reading a book so i was in uni and i hated academia even though i was okay at it but i just got so disenchanted within three weeks of being in university it's like why am i learning about henry ford's principles of scientific management like why this is i'm never going to need this i just immediately started running parties um was like oh that's sick and that actually also teaches me business kind of but i became very uh like flippant and dismissive of any stuff even if it was probably useful I'm like, no, it's stupid because I've learned it from a lecturer who has never run a business, which is the interesting thing about typical business courses.

1:26:41Everyone goes to think, I'm going to learn how to run a business being taught by people who don't run businesses. It's the business theory, guys. I went to school for business as well. And I was kind of like, so you're a doctor in business? Why are you not in business? Should you not be? That would be like finding out that you're learning from a doctor, a surgeon or something. Or like a research doctor. it's like getting surgery by a research doctor you're kind of like all right yeah this doesn't make yeah those guys that was a so yeah that's sorry that made me laugh is that a similar experience being like what the fuck are you yeah uh but anyway so like i go through university and i'm like oh this doesn't really i don't really understand what it is that i'm learning and then i get out on the other side and i haven't read a book in in for like harry potter was like the last book I read when I was 14 or something.

1:27:29And then I go to do Love Island, that reality TV thing, and you have a week of media lockdown where they need to release to the press who's going on the show, but they don't want any of the people that are going on the show to know the other people that are going on the show. So they basically have a guy that supervises you and lives with you for a week and you go and do all of your interviews with the tv and the radio and the press people and then he watches you at all times and you're living in it was palma mallorca so the south coast of mallorca and you have a little geographic area that you're allowed to move in with your chaperone and he follows you 24 hours a day and then all of the other people that are on the show have got different territories and they go to different gyms at different times to make sure that there's no chance that you would overlap each it's really crazy it's fucking wild It's like a military operation.

1:28:22And while I was there, they're taking your phone off you and you're not allowed to access the internet. You can't even go to newsagents. You're not allowed to go into a newsagents on your own in case, you know, there's an English newspaper that's about to say, the new series of this thing and here's the people that are there or whatever. And so I was like, I've got nothing to do. And all I've done is message people on WhatsApp like, hey, mate, are you coming out tonight for a decade? All I've done is that. It's probably not too dissimilar to your career. And then I've got this book. My mom gave me this book.

1:28:49She said, you should read this while you're away. So read it. And have you read The Alchemist? I have. I read it a while ago. Fucking psychedelic trip to read it. Anyway, all of that, all of that long diatribe is to say, the lesson from that book is going on a journey and ending up at the same place that you started is not the same as having never left. And I think that that's kind of cool because it can suck to realize, damn, I wasted a long time trying to relearn a thing that I already knew, traveling the seas to come back and go England again. And that made me feel less like I wasted my time.

1:29:32So you kind of learned that a bunch of experiments that you thought might be right were wrong. And now, okay, like, yeah, you're back at the place that you started, but at least you've gotten rid of all of the things that you thought that might've sucked. That might be good for you. That's also just like, there's no emphasis, I would say, on people's interior whatsoever. It's like, you know, it's like work, get a thing, get a job, do this, but there's, at least in American school, there's no class. There's nothing being like, hey, you know, if you feel this way all the time, maybe think about this.

1:30:04Like it's, I would say, because if in the day I put probably, you know, 95 % of my day into like getting stuff done, blah, blah, blah. usually it was like 100 % and 0 % of like stopping not even meditating to be like I fucking meditated today but like just go for a walk chill try to like calm myself just focus on like what's going on inside of myself and it's like dude it's just I would say it's I mean it's not as important because like if you just like you could meditate yourself you need to do stuff you need to do stuff I'm not being one of those guys where you don't have to do anything but I really think you need like 10 % of your day of being like, even if it's like 10 minutes every day of like, slow down, maybe like write your thoughts out, do anything to like, try to figure out why you're doing what you're doing that day.

1:30:47And like, what are you feeling like that day? Why are you feeling that, you know, what, what's the plan here? And I I've never done that. I don't know many other people who really do it at all. Well, they're trying to fix the problem by just, I'll just throw enough shit at the wall and maybe some of it will like get through me. We did this fucking, It's really been so funny to have put Matt on the episode with Joe, Dr. K, and Connor. So we had three master coaches. One was a monk in an ashram. Another has gone to Tibet and done ghee fucking Ayurvedic medicine. Another one's coached tens of thousands of guys with Jungian psychoanalytical theory and shadow work and all of this stuff.

1:31:26We had them around this table. And they basically came to that, which was like, you should spend some time being aware of why you're doing the things that you're doing. And if you're not, you're kind of just like in the dark trying to find stuff in a bedroom, like picking up something. It's like, okay, this isn't it. And you don't even know what you want. You don't know where you're going. So it is kind of, it does kind of come back around that way. But the reason I said about the university thing is like people give so much shit to going to uni or having a nine to five. like university for me ruled even if i hated the actual course that i did and didn't learn anything from these lecturers and then the times that i've had nine to fives i knew it wasn't going to be forever but i was like that also was like kind of nice i don't know being disparaging and saying oh you need to lone ranger make your own way in the world thing is kind of embarrassing oh let me give you this this was so so embarrassing so i went to bali and did the show at the back end of the Australia tour at the start of this year.

1:32:24Met up with a friend that used to work for me in nightlife and she was out there doing nutrition coaching, you know, like hormone optimization and this is how to work with your body and stuff. And she'd done some courses online. Used to work in finance in London. She said, do you know what it is? I earn like five grand a month and I'm the happiest I've ever been. And I used to live in London and have all of these things and whatever. And I was like, okay, tell me how your business works. She says, oh, well, I coach people over WhatsApp one-on-one. And how much do you charge? You said however much it is.

1:32:53I was like, that's stupid. What you need is you need to have a big website. You need to have a funnel and you need to have a low-level deal. And the low-level deal is your squeeze page. And once you've got them in, it's like$5 or$10 or whatever. So you need to make a lead magnet to get their email addresses. Once you've got their email, then you'll upsell them to the small course. And then you've got your mid-level course. And your mid-level course, you don't need to look after. And that's sort of where most of the people are going to be. But then you've got your one-on-one and your one-on-one is going to be an upsell, but that's going to be like, you know, a grand or a couple of grand.

1:33:15So you need to have a sales call for that. That means you're probably going to need to learn sales. And then you need to, you know, if you scale up a bit more, you're going to need to get people to do sales. You don't need to do paid. So you need to learn how Facebook ads work. And I was watching myself going like, I stopped. I was like, what the fuck are you doing? She's literally just told you she's the happiest that she's ever been. And you're like, hey, let me curse you with the same problem that every person in history has said not to do. It was so insane. I watched myself go like, and I paused and I was like, actually just disregard everything that I just said.

1:33:44Like you should just, whatever you've done, like you've already done it. And here's me going like, that's stupid. Like this is what you need to do. Yeah, no. So dumb. Yeah, it's like you need to scale this out to the biggest thing ever. Although I say some of that too is like, if I do have any level of expertise in anything, I'm so happy to dump that. Like, especially, you know, I don't know what your relationship, if she's kind of a babe, I'd be like, let me tell you about something I know. But no, it's the same thing. Like, here's what you gotta do. You gotta, and it's like, I'm good, man. Like I'm, I just told you I'm good.

1:34:12I'm chilling. Yeah. No, I, I, I suffer from a similar thing where I'll just completely dump stuff on people. What's this private investigator thing? Was that like a part of your history? I was a PI very briefly. Right. I was a PI. Yeah. The, well, it was, so I, hang on. So you went from, it was wild being a person on one side of the law to being somebody presumably that kind of assists. Well, yeah, it's, it's more insurance companies, honestly. Okay. So. What's the process of becoming a licensed private investigator? It was actually kind of a sweet, so I knew somebody who was, so they kind of just like let me do it and they kind of give you a little thing.

1:34:47Like, you know, if cops come up and bother you, just show them this thing. So nothing. You're telling me basically. Yeah. I mean, you could get your real thing, but I didn't have like a real license. I was just doing kind of like PI grunt work. So they give you like a little fake, you know, do this. And like show, if someone comes up to bother you, be like, Hey, I'm working with these guys. So you have like something to flash the cops. Okay. Because they'll call the cops on you. they'll be like why this person was sitting in my driveway um i thought it'd be a lot more exciting than it was it was very boring i did it for two days and i stopped i had to sit outside like a fucking like warehouse and like they're like here's a grainy photo of a guy i had to just sit there and i like you know i i had to like wait for the shift to see if it was like the guy came out but it was like i it was just hard to even distinguish i had like the grainy photo of a black guy and then like 12 black guys came out of the building and i was just like fuck it was winter time everyone's wearing hats and scarves and shit i was like bro i can't i gotta get like i need to get like up to face to face to even have a shot so i just sat there and read books for like two days and i told my buddy i was like bro i can't i'm not this isn't for me take your badge back dude he was showing me like fucking spy watches and shit when i went in there i'm thinking i'm gonna be in a bar like recording conversations i was in my car just for like 12 hours just reading reading books and then i come up i'm like oh shit they did a shift change I was a terrible private eye.

1:36:06It was one of my many jobs. That was two days. I would have jobs too during my whole career of, I would say, mainly selling weed. It was like I would have good time. I have booms and busts within that. So then during the bust, I'd go get a job. So I would kind of like constantly be doing like multiple things. Sell drugs, make money, get robbed, take job. Yep. Save money, buy drugs if I can't get them fronted. If I can't get them fronted, I'd have to save up money again and then, yeah, start over again. And then I would get the job when I knew I had enough money from weed. I would start trying to find weed customers at my job and then I would quit the job.

1:36:43And then I would leave. The princess peach alien sounds like heaven compared to that. It's the best. Dude, it's like, yeah, that was the big thing. When I had kids, I had such a weird anxiety and fixation over like, what's my job? And once I had kids, I remember the guy came in to change. like i was in like the hospital room and uh the guy came in and changed the paper towels out of the dispenser and i was like oh dude i could i could do that for all i give a fuck yeah i don't care it's like if it like it all made sense to me where i'm like yeah you just get a job dude so you have money to do all this other important stuff rather than being like blinded by like my job is my entire world yeah or fighting raccoons and hoping that you're gonna fucking scare them away i just can't i can't do it i can't do it dude dude be the bits thank you man appreciate what have you got coming up where should people go oh um i have a bunch of shows coming up matt mccusker.com uh let me see i have i have one there's one newark is a one i gotta really move some tickets to but either way just go to matt mccusker.com for stand up matt and shane secret podcast the whole the whole shebang sick appreciate you thank you man all right goodbye my beauties dude yeah it was fun this episode is brought to you by chat gpt hey it's bill simmons from the Simmons podcast.

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