Maye Musk Couldn't Pay Rent at 50. Now She's a Full-Time Model at 77.

0:00Nicole Lapin:I used to get hit with a$12 monthly fee on my bank account and just paid it for years. But do the math. That's$144 a year. Over 10 years? Almost$1 ,500. Money that could have been earning me interest instead. That's where Chime comes in. Chime is changing the way people bank. Chime offers the most rewarding fee-free banking. All with no overdraft fees, no monthly fees, no minimum balance fees. You get 5 % cash back on ChimeCard in a category of choice, like gas or groceries, all while building credit through regular, everyday spending. With no credit check, you can also grow your money faster with a savings rate that's nine times the national average.

0:45Nicole Lapin:And if you're ever in a pinch, SpotMe lets you overdraft up to$200, fee-free. Join the millions who are already banking fee-free with America's number one choice for banking. Head to chime.com slash MNN. That is chime.com slash MNN. Sign up now. It only takes a few minutes. Chime is a fintech, not a bank. Banking services and Chime card provided by Chime's bank partners. Qualifying direct deposits required. Terms and limits apply. Go to chime.com slash disclosures for detail. Recently, I went to Atlanta for a conference. Longtime listeners will know that I got one of my first jobs as a baby reporter and anchor in Atlanta, a girl from LA completely on my own, and it felt like the biggest adventure of my life.

1:30Nicole Lapin:When I lived in Atlanta, I was a vegan. And one thing you don't know about Atlanta unless you've lived there is that it has some of the best vegan food in the country. Vegan soul food, vegan tacos, vegan sushi, they have it all. Whenever I go back, I can remember that time in my life when everything felt possible. I wish I could go back in time and give that girl the biggest hug and tell her how much I love her. I also remember how worried she was about money. I don't carry that same fear anymore, but some habits stick and I still never turn down a little extra cash. That's why I list our space on Airbnb while we travel.

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2:45Nicole Lapin:You better believe with the weather this hot, I'm still on my ice cream trip. It just makes the summer feel more like summer when you go out for a cone on a hot night. And so many of my favorite quirky local ice cream spots like Wanderlust use Square, which is such a smart business move. You probably know Square as the thing you tap your card on at your favorite coffee shop, restaurant, salon, or local store. But for the person running that business, Square is a whole lot more than a way to get paid. Square brings the tools you need to run and grow your business together in one system. From payments and appointments to staff, inventory, sales, and customer relationships.

3:24Nicole Lapin:Whether you're starting something new or looking for a better way to run the business you already have, Square gives you the tools to take payments, manage your day-to-day, and keep growing. And right now, you can get up to$200 off Square hardware at square.com slash go slash MNN. That's S-Q-U-A-R-E dot com slash G-O slash MNN. Run your business your way with Square. Get started today. I had to stop my practice just because Elon became so famous. People would book appointments with me and then they'd bring gifts for him and want to talk about him for the hour because they paid for the hour. And I would say, take your money back and take that gift.

4:03Nicole Lapin:May is a model, a dietician, an author, and mom to three very accomplished entrepreneurs, Kimball, Tosca, and Elon Musk. May started full-time modeling at an age where most people retire, and she argues that age is an asset, not a liability. She came on Money Rehab to talk about how she got out of a financially abusive relationship. My ex-husband was earning a living as an engineer. He had signing rights on my bank account. When I got divorced, he removed my signing rights, and then he took my money. And advice for raising ambitious As children and as parents, we didn't know what other people were doing because there was no social media and we didn't have to compare ourselves to anyone.

4:42I think it's pretty tough now because you think, oh, they're doing better than me. The lessons in her new memoir, Timeless, like how to reframe aging to be empowering. I've never been nervous about aging and my mother didn't either. I never thought it was too late for me at any time and I still don't. Would you ever get married again? I...

5:05Nicole Lapin:I'm Nicole Lapton, the only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. It's time for some Money Rehab.

5:18Nicole Lapin:May Musk, welcome to Money Rehab. Thank you. I'm excited for the interview. I'm excited to have you here. And I really want to dig into your new book, Timeless. It starts as a memoir at age 50, which is a wonderful lesson for women in particular who think that their peak is at 30. Yes. Well, I never thought of my peak at 30 at all. I was still struggling then. Did you feel like your life really began when you were 50? I moved to New York then, and that's when I wanted to start all over. And I did. And it was fantastic. Yeah. Tell me more about what your life was like then, because in the book you talk about not being able to pay your rent.

6:03Nicole Lapin:What did that feel like in your body? I'd always been able to pay rent, and especially I was renting a one-bedroom apartment. I mean, it wasn't like it was expensive, but my practice wasn't taking off. The doctors were not used to a dietician being in private practice, so they weren't referring patients to me. And also insurance doesn't cover dietetic counselling. So I was really struggling with that. And the modelling jobs were very small and far between. It was San Francisco. It's not a big modelling city. I just really felt for the first time that I was struggling, you know, that I couldn't make my rent.

6:48And it wasn't much, you know. How much was it? Well, the one bedroom was$2 ,000. It was a furnished apartment. And the only reason they would rent it to me, because I didn't have a credit score in America, was because a woman had died in it. And so nobody wanted to rent this apartment. And it was fully furnished with this woman's taste. I didn't care. It was the only place that I could get. But then...

7:22Nicole Lapin:You got a deal on it because nobody wanted it. People get weird about that stuff. Yes. Okay, so you're 50, not able to pay rent. Your memoir starts at that age. That's such an interesting metaphor for how to think about time and age. Well, you know, I was always kind of struggling to survive, always having this pain in my stomach. You know, I didn't realize it until it slowly went away. Well, let's back up for a second, because a lot of your financial problems at the time were really marriage problems. Is that right? Yes. Well, when I was married, then I actually, my mom had taught me how to balance bank statements.

8:04And so I did that for us. And then, but everything was in his name. My ex-husband was earning a living as an engineer. And then it became better. He started earning better. And then at 28, you know, I think I put it in the book, then my mother stopped him from beating me up. So I could then go back to being a dietician and having a practice because he couldn't stop me. And then I realized I could earn a living. And then the weirdest thing is that they needed Mother of the Bride in runway shows. And you can't have a 17-year-old walking Mother of the Bride. So there was an opportunity for me. And because I didn't have bruises anymore, I could do it.

8:53So I did it.

8:55Nicole Lapin:May you say it with a smile, but I'm so sorry. Other women have suffered more than me. First of all, I had an education and I had two professions I could work on. And I didn't know that I could actually earn well so that I could actually have savings. And for the first time I had savings. But being the good wife, my husband had signing rights on it. And I had signing rights on his savings, which were much more than mine. and I didn't know that he would actually take it away from me. Money is often used as a weapon in abusive relationships and you talk about different types of abuse that you faced.

9:38Nicole Lapin:Was financial abuse part of that? Yes, well, when I got divorced and he'd taken all my, he'd removed all my savings and, or as it said, he stole my savings. How did that happen? Well, he had signing rights on my bank account and I had signing rights on his, but he removed my signing rights and then he took my money. So now he said he will make me return to him because I would be poor. But you can actually live on very little. When you're free. First of all, not having someone screaming insults at you is just so wonderful that anything else is worth doing In what way do you feel like you were controlled by that?

10:29Nicole Lapin:Were there years where you felt like, I'm not going to be able to pay for things on my own, I must stay? When did you break free from that cycle? Well, I actually ran away with the three kids at 31 years of age. And that's very unusual in those days for a woman to do that. But I knew I had savings. But as I say, they disappeared. So then I really worked hard. I moved to a new city to contact the doctors. And remember, in those days, you don't have social media. You wrote letters to all the doctors to send me patients. And they were thrilled to have a consulting dietician. So they sent their patients to me.

11:09And once I got their cholesterol lowered or their diabetes under control or weight loss or eating disorders improved, they started sending me many patients. So then that picked up. But it did take a first few months were hard. Although modeling started right away. Just because they needed one old lady.

11:33Nicole Lapin:Well, it sounds like you believed in yourself, your entrepreneurial spirit to be able to figure it out, to start a whole new profession later in life. In the chapter of your book about leaving your husband, you say, ladies, get your banking in order. Yes. Can you talk more about why this is such an important topic for women in toxic relationships? Yes. Well, first of all, you need to make sure he doesn't have signing rights on your bank account. And that's hard because you could be beaten up over that. I think if I tried that, but again, I could have tried that and he wouldn't really know unless the bank notified him.

12:17So maybe I could have done that, but I didn't expect him to take my savings because I had three children I had to feed and they were his as well. Yeah.

12:29Nicole Lapin:And so what should women think about with properties in particular? Because it sounds like Errol kept most of the properties in his name. Did you feel like that was setting a financial trap for you to stay? Well, I just had this one property in my name. So I feel very privileged to have run away with a property in my name and just a mortgage to pay. How do you think about now, as you have a platform to talk to other women, about the importance of having your own money in any relationship? Yes, well, you know, I'm sure men are not going to be happy if I say keep a separate bank account. It might be hard for women depending on how much you are controlled and how angry he would get if you did your own thing, you know.

13:22So you have to take a chance. So would you advocate for secret bank accounts? Oh, that'll cause troubles. I don't know. I don't know if you, I just felt as a wife, you have to share everything. And it will be difficult for a woman to have a separate bank account. I think it could be hard because if he finds out, you could be in trouble.

13:51Nicole Lapin:I think of it as a parachute fund, like just in case, like a break in case of emergency, where you always have your back. Yes, you could also tell whoever your partner is that you're just doing this account so there's a safe place too in case he has a problem. Yeah. Maybe if you can convince him. Well, if they have a problem, then that tells you a lot too. Yeah. Would you ever get married again? I never did. I did date, of course, because, you know, models get dates. and I did have some nice boyfriends, but I didn't want to take it further because I didn't want them for the rest of my life and I didn't want another divorce.

14:36So I would be committed to them, but then they would want it to go further and then they'd dump me or cheat on me, you know, break my heart many times and you do recover. But the day is young, Mae.

14:53Nicole Lapin:Like, we could get married today. You're never as young as you are today. So never. I've never wanted to marry anyone. It won't happen. No, because as you say, if you get married, you want it for the rest of your life. And I didn't see any of that happening with anyone I dated. Are you dating somebody now? No, I'm really happy, but I do have two dogs. So they make me very happy. It's a great relationship. What would you tell other women who are watching this now who might be in toxic relationships themselves or might be controlled by finances? You've got to make a plan then. You have to turn to your family and friends.

15:38When my last book came out and my family and my friends saw how I struggled financially, they said, why didn't you come to us? We would have helped you. And I didn't. And so I think women must go to family and friends.

15:55Nicole Lapin:I didn't realize this at the time, but when you were leaving South Africa, you also couldn't take money with you. Is that right? Yes, they have. The government prevents you from taking money out of South Africa. So I think it was$2 ,000 or even$10 ,000 anyway. I can't remember how much I could take out. But fortunately, there was one, I met a couple in South Africa who wanted to rent their one bedroom apartment. And I could pay for it before I left South Africa. So that covered three months of rent, you know, which was great. And then I met another South African who said there's a rent controlled apartment and we can get it for you.

16:40And he would then, because you need somebody to guarantee that you're a good person, you know. You need references. And so then it did take Elon, Tosca and I about three weeks to clean it up. But it was great.

16:58Nicole Lapin:Well, you talk about calling Kimball, actually, to borrow money when you needed it. Well, that was after I'd left Toronto. The rent control department was in Toronto. I could go to Canada because I was born in Canada. So then I went to San Francisco again to find an apartment and I got a one-bedroom apartment. But then, as I say, it was$2 ,000 a month and my practice didn't pick up at all in the beginning. And my savings were just, they were gone very quickly. and then I moved to a studio apartment on the border of the Tenderloin District and that was$1 ,000 a month. But then I called Kimball and I couldn't believe that my practice was not picking up and I just couldn't get doctors to refer patients to me and modeling was small.

18:01You know, the Nordstrom shows, you get paid$150, but then there's the agency commission. Then there's me renting a car the night before so that I can drive early that morning to go and do the show. And then by then, you make$50 a week. It wasn't enough. I couldn't cover the rent. And of course, Kimball was shocked. And he just said, of course, we can pay your rent. We don't have time to spend our salary. So that did help. Somebody should, actually our mother. I know, but I still had never thought I would have to be in that situation.

18:47Nicole Lapin:What does that teach you about asking for help, even from your kids when you're in need? I think you should ask. You know, they can always say no. And you can ask for anything. You can always get a no. For example, when I would visit doctors to ask them to send me patients,

19:08one out of 20 would send me a patient. When I would go for auditions for modeling jobs, sometimes there were 300 women lining up. And if you don't line up, you don't get a job. The answer is always no. It's always no. So I think I would get a job one out of every 20 in modeling as well. But because you didn't have to be a model to do a car ad or a plane ad or a teeth ad, although I did all those.

19:39Nicole Lapin:You have great teeth. You mentioned in your book that you were embarrassed to call your son for help with rent. But you invested in Zip2 with Elon and Kimball, right? So how is that different to invest in your kids or say yes to them when they're asking for money help? They didn't ask for help. Versus the other way around. I just gave them the money because they needed to pay rent and to pay for printing and pay for their office because they were living in the office. So they didn't formally ask, but you knew they needed it. They needed it, yes, to keep going because they had a good idea. It was door-to-door directions.

20:21Now, I know you think that's easy because I just put in this address and I'm here. But in those days, you didn't have it. Not only that, but people didn't have computers. So it was like, it's a great idea, but who's going to use it? And then, of course, everybody started signing up for it and they did very well. And I wasn't used to asking anyone for money. And of course, they were generous.

20:49Nicole Lapin:You invested$10 ,000. Yes. And they obviously give it back and then some. It was a huge success. They didn't give me the$10 ,000 back. They gave me much more when they sold Zip2. Much more. More zero. Because they said, go and buy yourself a house and a car. And that's when I started searching in San Francisco. and then my daughter was going to the film industry in LA. So I looked there. She wanted me there. And then I had to give a talk in New York and I just at the Dietetics Conference because I was a nutrition entrepreneur. I have actually an award about that because I always ran my own business.

21:31Congratulations. Yeah, thanks. And then I just said, this is where I want to be. And my kids were surprised that I didn't want to be with them. And I said, no, I can be on my own now.

21:44Nicole Lapin:I love the story, too, that they gave you like a little house and car and said that one day they'll give you the real size. Yeah. At my 50th. At my 50th, they had the party at an investor's home because, of course, we couldn't really afford it. and they went and picked up supermarket platters and everybody brought their own wine or whatever they drank and that's when I got the little wooden house and the little wooden car and I'm sorry I didn't keep it. Can you imagine? And then when they gave it to me and said, we'll get you a house and a car one day and I just thought, oh, my kids are so cute.

22:24You know, not expecting anything within a year. I had a home in New York.

22:31Nicole Lapin:What kind of advice would you give parents or family members investing in other family members' businesses? Well, if you think the business is good and the outcome will be better for humanity, invest. There was no trepidation that you had? No, I haven't at all. I always thought what they were doing is better for them and better for the community. And was that a big part for you to make sure that this company would be better for humanity, that there was more of a social why behind it? Well, you know, as a model, you would have to find locations and you have a big book with a map. And then you're going down the highway, you take the turn off, then you have to stop and look and flip the pages.