Rewriting Your Money Story After a Major Life Shift with Aurora Culpo

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2:53Otherwise, 1.00 % APY applies. No min balance required. Chime card on time payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. See chime.com for details and applicable terms. I'm Nicole Lappin, the only financial expert you don't need a dictionary to understand. It's time for some money rehab.

3:16So I hate, hate, hate cliches. You know this about me by now. But there are few that are actually true. And one of those true cliches is the only constant is change. Once we feel like we have a good grasp on what's going on around us, things change. And sometimes those changes mean we need to adapt our financial pictures, too. Today, I'm talking to Aurora Culpo about some of those big transitions in her life and how she adjusted her financial behaviors and her mindset. Aurora, who you might know from her show, The Culpo Sisters, that she did with her sisters, Sofia and Olivia Culpo. Olivia, of course, who won Ms.

3:46Universe back in 2012. We talk about the big transitions in her life, getting married, becoming a mom, getting divorced, living alone for the first time, starting a podcast, which is called Barely Filtered, and definitely check it out. It's in the show notes, and changing careers. We talk about how these life events changed her financial picture, but even more importantly, how she changed her mindset to get through some of those harder times. And she has some great advice for anyone who's struggling to adapt to one of those big life changes. There she is.

4:15Aurora Colpo, welcome to Money Rehab. Thank you so much. How did you know that I needed this? Everybody needs this. Have you needed money rehab in your life? I don't think I've needed like rehab. I think I've played it safe, which is nice because I feel like I've never been in like dangerous debt, but I've also never really known what to do. I feel like my financial situation has gone from like the powers of my father to the powers of my ex-husband. And now I'm a year divorced. So now I'm like, well, I guess nobody's coming to save me. I should have a plan. What's my plan? Yeah. Now the powers are with you.

4:51Yeah. Which is exciting. It's exciting. I play it safe. I don't overspend, but I also don't invest. Do you want to start investing? I probably should, right? If I ever want to get rich. It's nice to make your money work for you because you work really hard for your money. Yes. I guess I don't fully believe that that's possible. Why not? I don't know. I feel like it's always a risk to do something with your money. And I guess I'm afraid because I don't feel like I know enough about how to do it right. Well, you're in the right place. Okay. And that's why I'm here. There are some ways to invest that are principle protected, which is very cool.

5:33So it means you won't lose money. Like if you invest in bonds or CDs, then you get a return, but you also get your original investment back. Yeah. I don't know why I don't do that. Let's do it. Yeah. Today's the day. Today's the day. I thought you were going to be like invest in crypto. No, absolutely not there's one of the sweatshirts there that says told you so crypto bro oh my god that i need to wear that and we're gonna get when i see my ex-husband tomorrow and be like told you so is he a crypto guy he's definitely one of those feels like he's on the leading edge of something but it really scares me but always ends up working out okay for him i don't know what happened with his crypto stuff that's the other thing like when you go through a divorce with finances the crypto is just you can't really do much for it i don't even think a court can order somebody to show their crypto oh really yeah when you were going through it what what did we just i just didn't ask and we didn't touch it and it was that was it that was that so you didn't get any of it no i didn't get any cryptos but i do i want them i don't think that they're there anymore anyway some kinds of crypto maybe maybe you know what kind bitcoin it was bitcoin and ethereum Yeah, he might want some.

6:41Yeah, maybe. I don't know. That's done with. He can have his fake money. Yeah, that's right. So I've been binging your podcast. Oh. We are loving it around here. Barely filtered. You talk really openly and honestly about your divorce and this transition time in your life. So what was that like? You started the podcast in 2023. Yeah. So it's been a year and a half. Yeah. And so how has that transition been? the transition's been it's such a learning experience I think you get better the more you do something I did have a co-host in the beginning of my podcast so that was nice for somebody to be there to kind of help the conversation along and then just with my divorce I mean I guess it's kind of two separate subjects but it paralleled that like when I started my podcast was actually when I also first moved into a place by myself so it was kind of like just the season of becoming very independent.

7:40And I think that's scary, but also it builds a certain self-esteem that I think you can't do when you have a partner, whether it's a co-host or a husband. So I think I've become a little bit stronger along the way. It sounds like you've had to be. Yeah, for sure. Not really an option. So at the time your divorce was being finalized, you were out looking for a house for the very first time? Yes. You always lived with somebody? yes I never didn't have a roommate I was never afraid to live alone but just first of all why would you live alone when you're a young girl and you can split rent with somebody else so I just always had a roommate and then I met my ex and I lived with him we were together for like nine years and after so we bought a house together we were married he bought me out of that and then now I'm renting and next year I think I want to buy but it just feels like such a weird time to buy.

8:32Like I feel, especially in Southern California, it's like what you can get. I don't know, because mortgage interest rates are so high and it just feels like a scary time to buy. So I've been renting. And also because when you move out of a house for the first time, I needed to move somewhere. And so I didn't want to pull the trigger and buy something. And then maybe it was going to work. Maybe it wasn't. But it sounds like you're thinking about renting like it's defeat. Well, I just hate, I hate the idea of the money kind of being thrown away every month, but it's true. It seems like it's been the best option for me right now.

9:07Do you feel like renting is good for some people? I think it is. You do? Okay. Because throwing money away is also applied to interest payments that you never get back. That's true. And property taxes, insurance, all this stuff you have to do to upkeep the house. And so if you're able to rent, but then use a lump sum and invest it, which we're starting today, best day ever, then it can really work out and you can yield a lot more in the long term. Yeah, I don't know. I think I have this old school idea of property being the only way to invest. Where did that come from? Probably my dad. He was one of those people who bought up a bunch in 2008, bought a bunch of property and made a lot.

9:46What a great time when stuff is on sale. Yeah, I know. That's the only way that I've learned is like a safe way to invest your money. And so renting now, do you still feel like things are overpriced? I do feel like it's overpriced because when I like what I pay for rent and what, for instance, my sister pays the same amount in a mortgage and her house is five times the size of mine. Rent is just, and we live in comparable neighborhoods in Southern California, but she bought her house a couple of years ago. I just started renting last year. I think I got screwed with the rental market a little bit.

10:22It's just really high for what you get. It sounds like for you, housing is more than just a place to sleep, right? It's safety, it's security. Right. Well, it's also where I work like most of the time too, because a lot of the content that I shoot is at my house or I record at my house sometimes, my podcast. So I spend a lot of time there. Makes sense. Yeah. But do you feel like you will be happy once you get into a house? Do you play this game with yourself, like the psychological game? I'll be happy when I buy a house. I'm a control freak about like my space. I love home decor. I've flipped houses before and I love designing.

11:01I've done that a few times with my ex. And so I, it kind of drives me crazy that I can't like, that I don't own my space. I think that's the psychological part that drives me a little crazy? I've rented and I've gone to town with the decor. Yeah. I think we get in this cycle, especially women. I'll be happy when I get something. And then when you get that thing, there's always another thing to get. And then you never get your brain to the other side of happiness. It's so true. And I think I realized that when I was married too, because we bought like my dream house and I renovated it exactly how I wanted it.

11:33And I got my perfect sync that I loved from Italy and all. And then I still was like, I thought I'd feel different. And I don't, you know, you have your kids, you get the babies. I don't want to spoil alert anything for you, but they really don't complete you. If anything, they are a mirror to everything that you really still need to work on in yourself. And I think that's another thing I thought with kids too, that it was going to be like, my heart will be whole and complete. It's like, no, you're just going to be really tired and madly in love with these things that you have no control over and now a piece of your heart lives outside of you and you could be worried about them for the rest of your life so you feel like yeah you constantly change the goalpost yeah on yourself so you thought when i get married when i have kids i'll be happy but you weren't happy yeah i was never going to be happy in that situation we weren't meant to be lifelong partners when did you figure that out i think in a way i really wanted to be a mom more than anything and this is my boyfriend that i had been with for a long time who i really loved i still really love him he is a super independent kind of person who really told me pretty much from the start in many ways that he was never going to be like a family man he never really wanted to be married he still doesn't and I forced it and I was like I think I thought that once we have the kids he's going to change his mind and once we're married he's going to change his mind but he really just never did and he was never really like the kind of partner that I wanted like somebody who really wanted to do things together and be real partners.

13:05And that showed up in more ways than one. And then I couldn't really ignore it anymore. It was a hard decision to make. And my parents were not behind it. I still have friends who were like, you guys should just get back together. And honestly, sometimes like in the dating world, I'm like, he wasn't that bad, actually. This was a journey I was meant to be on because I think I really do. I never would be happy unless I proved to myself that I could do it alone. I think that's kind of part of my journey. Did you feel like you also weren't financially compatible? Like when you started dating, you were a teacher, right?

13:40Yes. And so then you started making more money. Yeah. Did that change? Totally. And do you feel like that gave you more leverage, more power within the relationship to make the decisions that were right for you because you knew you'd be okay financially? Oh, yes. Yeah. In that way, for sure. One of the things that I feel so deeply about is that women should never be stuck in a situation because they can't financially afford to live independently or be divorced. I can't imagine not having had that as an option. My situation wasn't like I wasn't in a domestic abuse situation or anything that was life threatening.

14:17But there's like really women all the time who can't leave dangerous situations because they literally can't afford it. It was one of the reasons I wrote my last book, Miss Independent, is because a lot of women who are in these controlling financial abuse situations, domestic abuse often goes with financial abuse too. They can't leave because they don't have the money. They don't have the resources. They're scared of making their own money. They don't know where the money is. And so it's often used as control. But it sounds like when you talked about your divorce, you had a lot more options because you had money of your own.

14:49Definitely. I mean, you talked about it on your show, you also, it sounds like you really felt for women who weren't able to do that. Yeah. It's so empowering having your own money because it's your own freedom. And I worry for women who are putting all their hope in a man, not building a career of their own and staying home with kids. I like that idea, but it makes me worried because you don't have a backup plan and you're really counting on this man just staying with you forever and statistics just don't support that hold on to your wallets money rehab will be right back and now for some more money rehab

15:38and when you were going through divorce it took two years yeah how was it to untangle all the finances. Oh, it was brutal. It was a nightmare. It was because now you're at the whim of lawyers also who, I mean, the billing situation, to me, it's criminal. They can charge whatever they want. You don't really know what's going on. And there's like this discovery process where you need to wait for everybody to like basically show all their cards and then eventually go in front of a judge if you don't figure it out through some we ended up mediating mostly because I didn't want to pay for lawyers anymore what was your lawyer bill it was like at least all said and done close to a hundred thousand dollars yeah and his too no his wasn't his I don't know why his was so much cheaper I think maybe because he wasn't really asking questions I do think I got screwed with my lawyers actually I had one lawyer and then all of a sudden there was just like this automated response that she had left the firm and they gave me somebody new.

16:42Yeah, it was so frustrating. I've been hearing some friends going through divorce right now are using like a coach to ask questions to you or like to vent to you because sometimes when you vent to lawyers, or you ask them questions, like it's on the clock. It's on the clock. And sometimes they'll try to act like they're your friend, like you're having a conversation and they almost are taking advantage of you during this very vulnerable time. They're billing you for that. Or sometimes when you it's an emotional time, like you have an emotional response to a lot of these things that you're the questions that you're being asked.

17:16And they're just so deadpan. They don't have it. They do this every day. And they're not a therapist. They shouldn't be expected to be one. But I don't know. I had a really bad experience at that point. Because you're emotional. And yeah, the whole thing is emotional and you don't think like you're on the clock. I had a bad experience with lawyers. Yeah. And during the divorce agreement, I was reading that some of the settlement changes based on how much money you make. Oh yeah. Yeah. That is true. Actually, if I make over a certain amount of money, then he pays because we didn't do like a normal child support situation.

17:53So basically if I make over a certain amount, then what he has to give me in child support it goes down a little bit. It's not very much anyway, because like our earnings are almost equal. And I was fine to sign off on that because I'm like, if you don't need to pay me, then I don't want your money. And some of the deal I'm like, I just want it to be done. And I signed off on something that I'm not thrilled about. So when I got bought out of the house, it's overtime without interest monthly, but it's what he could do. And I want it to be done. That was annoying. for sure because then you could have made it invest yes yes no i know and my dad was like that's the stupidest thing in the world that you sign that but i want i needed to be done i needed to be out yeah not all of it is about money did you guys have a prenup we did not have a prenup do you wish you did no i don't know did i don't know if it would have changed much it's changed how i feel about marriage and because i never in a million years thought that finances would be one of our point of contention.

18:58Like it never was ever. And I was, that was what I liked about him the most actually, is that he's very generous and not like stingy or weird about money with all his friends and anybody in his life. But then, I don't know, divorce makes things hard. Changes it. Yeah. Does it change how you look at marriage? Would you want to get married again? I'd want to get married again, but definitely have some kind of agreement. Prenup. Prenup. Yeah. Just not because I'm anticipating divorce, but just. Right. But you have car insurance, not because you're anticipating getting into a car accident. Yeah. Or you have other kinds of insurance and you have a prenup essentially based on what the state says.

19:42It's just empowering to take it into your own hands or to own that conversation. I think a lot of women are nervous about having a conversation about a prenup. Yeah. If you take it back and own it, you have the power, which you already got. So it's just an extension of that. What kind of advice would you give women looking at prenup conversations or going through a divorce right now? Yeah. I think if you're going through a divorce right now, it's important to zoom out your perspective and see what is actually most important. And I don't think it's trying to find that exact dollar amount that would make everything fair.

20:18The goal is to move on in your most empowered version of you. And you can't do that if you have lost sleep for a year trying to make everything as fair as possible. And that's the place that I was in with just, I got obsessed with the deal and what was going to be signed and the numbers. And it just made me miserable. So eventually when all was said and done and whether I didn't feel like everything was as equitable as it could have been, but it left me at least with enough sanity left to move forward and just focus on the future. Yeah. It wasn't about winning anymore. It was about winning your sanity.

21:02Yeah. Did the process make you think differently about how you could have managed your wealth differently during those years? Definitely. Because I think a lot of women don't realize that this is more common than not. So he paid for the mortgage and he paid for everything that was on the books. And all my money went towards things that we didn't really keep track of, like groceries and kids stuff. So all my money, like I had no record pretty much of where all my money had gone. And then he had this record of, Oh, look, I paid for everything for our life for the last however many years. So that made it difficult when trying to convince a court that I had any right to equitable division.

21:50Yikes. Yeah. You said you were dating now and sometimes your ex looks better than you remember. How has that been going? Yeah, that was kind of a joke. Definitely, I won't be going back anytime soon. But my dating life is just, I don't know if it's the pool of men that is just in LA. But there's some hopefuls. I think there's a nice guy out there somewhere for me. I just have not met him yet. And the people that I have met are these like Peter Pan syndrome type guys who have never been married, never been in a relationship really and are like in their forties. There's a lot of them in, at least in the West side of LA, they're the surfer boys.

22:32Um, but I think it's also that I'm on Raya and in order to be on Raya, you have to be considered an artist and I need, they need to be like a finance guy app. Do you have one? Aurora, I met my husband on Raya. Oh, and he's an entrepreneur. You took the last one. Sorry. Do you find that there are a lot of men that you're dating that are intimidated by your success? There was one that was really weird. There was one and he like wouldn't let me see his apartment. He wouldn't let me, he like left me in a parking garage because he didn't want me to go into his apartment because he was embarrassed that I was so small.

23:07That one was bizarre. He was also younger than me. I think it's more intimidating for people that I have two kids and like a big girl life rather than that I make money. Like bigger house is nicer? Yeah. I don't think that's usually a problem, but I think it's intimidating to people that I take care of two children and they're alive and well. It's amazing. Yeah. It's a badge of honor. Yeah. Do you ever split on a first date? Never. Should I? I don't think so. I don't know. I didn't. You know, sometimes I will if I don't like the guy. And I just, that's actually probably such a rude thing of me to do.

23:47But sometimes in order just to give him the hint that like, I'm not really into it in that way, I'll offer to pay. Yeah, it's a way to create a boundary. Yeah. Like you're in the friend zone. Yeah, exactly. You have four siblings. Yeah. Who gives the best financial advice? My sister Olivia thinks she does. And it's so annoying because her finances have. So when she won Miss Universe in like 2012, she had a business manager and she's always had a business manager ever since then. And so she thinks that she is the most financially literate because she's the richest, but no, that's not how it works.

24:26She's so annoying. So I was like, you shouldn't be renting. You need to buy something. You're just throwing away money every month. I'm like, yeah, I know that's what you think, but it's actually more complicated than that. When you think about property tax and all of the other money that you're just throwing down in interest, my interest alone would probably be what my rent is right now. Well, it's usually you pay the same amount of the purchase price and interest over the lifetime of the loan. Yeah. So I'm not really, not really dying to do that unless there was some really great deal, but you're also not getting an amazing value in Southern California for your money.

25:04I don't think so. Do you? I think right now the inventory is really tough and prices should be lower based on where interest rates are headed, but they're not. So prices have remained high and interest rates have remained high. Usually they work like a seesaw. Yeah. Which means rent is also high because everybody's renting. I mean, a lot of people also don't want to get rid of their like sweet 2 % mortgage that they got. And so they're not selling. Yeah. Makes sense. So do you go to somebody else for financial advice? I always call my dad. That's it. But maybe I do need to go to somebody else because he has that old school mentality.

25:42I think the way we make, that was one thing that I really had to get over in my head. He was always like, you build like brick by brick and show up every day. And then like, you put the money in here and in 10 years, it's going to look like, and the way I started making money was in no way like that at all. It was like when I felt safe in my marriage financially, and I could just take risks. And like the most money I ever made on a deal was something that just came easily. It wasn't something that I like built brick by brick. so I don't like that mentality. Maybe it's time we love dad but maybe it's time to scoot him out of financial advisor seat.

26:19Yeah. I'm an independent. I know but I'm cheap and I'm like I don't want to pay you to tell me what to do with my money because maybe it's that I don't trust them. Where are these trust issues? I don't know how much time you got. This is a whole other episode. Probably the divorce situation all that now I just I don't know. So where should I find a financial advisor who's going to tell me where to invest. We'll tell you. Okay. We'll give you some recommendations. There's fee based and then there's flat fee. So either it's a percentage or it's a flat fee based on advice. And ideally you're going to make more from that advice to cover the fee and then some.

26:59Yeah. Yeah. Okay. It's a win-win. Why not? Take a consultation. Yeah. Why not? Nothing to lose. Okay. Okay. Or are we end our episodes by asking all of our guests for a tip that listeners can take straight to the bank. So it can be anything that you've learned through this crazy divorce process. I think my one piece of advice would be definitely to have a prenup. And it's not personal. It is empowering. And it's your financial safety. And then in the marriage, I also think you should be keeping track of who's spending what. Not in a tit-for-tat way, but just have a record of it. Because you never know.

27:39You never know. Yeah. Have your own back. Yeah.