How Homebuying Differs for LGBTQ+ People — and Tips for Any Buyer in a Tough Market

18:10Yep. I think the national average of interest rate is right about where we're at, you know, over a long span of time, like six and 7%. So I think that getting used to where the rates are is probably worth doing with the hope that we'll see an opportunity to refinance, but not counting on it from a financial standpoint, like I'm going to white knuckle this for two years and I better be able to refinance. But I think getting over that psychological hurdle, like looking where rates were over the long span of time and being like, this is a more normal rate historically. And then figuring out from there if you can buy.

18:43Sean Pyles:The hard part is that the rates are kind of historically normal, but the prices of the houses are at a historic high. And the wage. So, you know, 7 % on$500 ,000 is a lot more than like$40 ,000 or something in the 80s. Totally. Yeah. Agreed. I bought my first house at 8%, but houses cost, what, 14 raspberries at the time. time or something. You know what I mean? It was like nothing. So it's not lost on me. But I think the housing shortage is so significant that the home prices don't seem to be changing either. I think a lot of people have been surprised to see how certain cities have turned into these really expensive markets like Portland.

19:20Sean Pyles:Can you describe your experience seeing Portland go from what it was like when you first moved here, you said like two decades ago, to today? When I first moved here to Portland, people would talk about homes being like in the 50k range or something. I'd be like, what? And as I'm buying my house for a hundred K, right? So I was like, it's already doubled. My family was not necessarily supportive of it. Like they're like, that's so expensive. I'm like, well, I need a place to live and I can afford it, which I think is a way to go into it if you can. But I remember it wasn't that many years ago that when a real estate agent I really respect said to me, Portland's quietly becoming like this million dollar city, home prices in the inner core becoming like this million dollar price point.

19:58And I remember the time thinking like nah i mean i respect you and all but you don't really know what you're talking about now i look around i was like they're not too far off like home prices that were you know four and five hundred seemed like a lot and now it's like can't even really find something for

20:12Sean Pyles:that i live just east of 82nd and for those who don't know portland east of 82nd used to be the danger zone and you know i'm not that much further out but you know it's hard to find a house for under 400 if you're lucky. If you can. Yeah. We got a question from someone recently asking who's considering buying a home next year. And they're like, how do I find something that's within my budget, maybe in an up and coming area, but still in a safe area. So how can people find those gems that are not way out of range, but still in a good area and maybe in a developing area? Definitely connect with a real estate agent for that piece of the puzzle.

20:46There's probably other aspects of it, of like what they're looking for in terms of safety and stuff. When I bought my first house just transparently people are like oh you're gonna buy there I hope you're okay you know you're safe and I was like well you know I think I'm gonna be fine you made it I'm fine but probably partnering at the real estate agent is probably the right thing because I don't really

21:04Sean Pyles:have the expertise on yeah how to find for us I mean when Garrett was buying the house that we live in now we worked with a great real estate agent and we've toured a lot of different houses around Portland and we didn't find anything that really fit the bill in terms of like the price and location, he actually found the spot on Redfin because the previous owners had like put it up in the market, pulled it back and done it a couple of times. And so it fell into a bit of a black hole. Yes, work with a great Asian if you can, you probably should, but do your own research too. And just keep an eye out for the gems because our house is nothing fancy, but it's in a great location still.

21:36Sean Pyles:And most importantly, it was affordable. It was$2.99 in 2018. And of course, he refinanced in the pandemic. So we're never leaving. Do you run into that too, where people think, oh, I want to buy this house, but everyone who refinanced or bought in 2020, 2021, they're not budging. Which also hurts the housing supply, right? So they're like, I don't want to move. Or they want to know where they're moving to before they sell because they're like, I don't know if I'm going to find the right house I want and I'm not willing to give up this interest rate. I will say though, there are more people that are realizing like I've outgrown the house.

22:08It's either too big, I need to downsize, or it's too small, we need to upsize, or I need to be in a different location or school and so they are coming to grips with they're going to have to make a move this is where we are yeah getting married to the interest rate is probably not in

22:22Sean Pyles:the best interest right yourself long term i know that's one thing that my husband and i have been weighing is because i have my place in washington has this place here we would love a little more space than 900 square feet we don't want to get rid of the house because we've like made this incredible garden we're attached to it emotionally we're thinking do we pool our equity in some creative fashion to like try to buy something larger. Do you work with people that do that too? Just asking completely selfishly. Oh, totally. Yeah. Like how to like pull equity and kind of make the next move happen.

22:53Yeah. Yeah.

22:53Sean Pyles:Cause I imagine that might be one of the only ways to kind of get ahead in some difficult markets. Like how common is that? A lot of people are coming to the table with like each person might own a property or one might own and how they're going to pull their resources. It kind of goes back to similar, like that whole conversation about having a conversation up front, maybe putting something in writing up front of like how you want to make sure that both parties are protected or all parties are protected. If you could sit down with someone who's a wannabe first-time homebuyer and, you know, maybe their credit score isn't totally where they need it to be and they're working on that down payment, what advice would you give them just to kind of actually make progress and accomplish this?

23:30Yeah, so if their credit score is not great, I would say first and foremost, make your payments on time for everything. Get your revolving credit card balances down to 30 % or less. And then stress test a mortgage payment that you think you can do. So whatever you're paying for rent, pay your rent. And then start setting aside money for a mortgage payment. I just love the stress testing advice. I found myself in a Facebook group once of people who regretted home buying. And the amount of people who were like, after I bought the house, it was a money pit. And I couldn't survive. And I even had a friend recently who sold her house because she couldn't afford it.

24:05and she realized she couldn't travel as much and she was house poor. So it's just so important to know that, like you said, you can comfortably pay that. And also I would say, you know, almost no one buys their first house and it's the forever house. So we all like to think that we're going to have it forever, but just going into it and like, there's probably going to be something that I need to give on and just being open to that. Like I'm going to try and buy a house. I'm going to do my best. I'm going to get myself set up in the best position and I want to buy the best house I can. But first and foremost, I want to get into the housing market because that's really the first step.

24:35If you can get your first step in, then as long as you can afford it, you're not house poor, then it helps build wealth over time. Yeah.

24:44Sean Pyles:And we absolutely have seen that in our case, too. Our house didn't have insulation when we moved in. And it had a single wall furnace that didn't really heat the house. We made it work and we've made improvements over time. I say we, but it's been my husband's money because it's his house. But it's been lovely just to see that journey. It's really paid off, but it doesn't happen overnight. It takes quite a while to really make progress. And I think it kind of goes back to another piece of what we've talked about before is like when you're doing it on your own, it feels scarier. So if you're taking on high payments and you're doing it alone and then you're also worried about repairs, that's where buying as a group or buying as friends or polycule can like help relieve some of the financial stress, but also some of the emotional stress too.

25:20Like if the what ifs come up, we got three of us figuring it out or two of us figuring it out versus like it's all on me.

25:26Sean Pyles:Yeah. And that was one thing that my husband and I tried to figure out that time too, because we weren't married then. And so we wanted to be really clear that if something happened, he could completely afford the mortgage just on his own. And same with my mortgage, too. And that way we knew it was affordable because we got quoted mortgages where it was like the maximum amount that we could both pitch in. And it was a lot of money, let me tell you. But we didn't want a house that was going to be that expensive because we just tend to be risk averse. And I want to be able to look out for one another.

25:53Sean Pyles:And, you know, if one of us lost our jobs, you don't want to be in a situation where you can't make your housing payment. Correct. Yeah, no, exactly. Great. Well, Steph Noble, mortgage officer at Cross Country Mortgage, thank you so much for coming on and joining us. Yeah, thank you. Thank you for having me.

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28:28Sean Pyles:Elizabeth, it's time for one of my favorite conversations that we have. What is that? It's where we dig into our spending and talk about what we spent money on in the past month. What? Your favorite conversation is not savings buckets? No, no, no. I want to hear the juicy things that you're spending money on, and I'll also tell you what I spent some money on. Okay, deal. We're going to do it in the rose-thorn-bud format, which I love. So the rose is something that you really enjoyed. Thorn is something that's not so fun. And the bud is something that's kind of in development and process that you spent some money on.

28:55Sean Pyles:So do you want to go first? Do you want me to go first? How are you feeling? I'll go first. You know, I'm always happy to tell my business. Give me the rose. My rose is always such a fun exercise, I think, looking through your bank statement. Because you forget, well, I forget sometimes the things I spend money on. But Dallas was probably my biggest expense this past month. A vacation to Dallas? Yeah, it was a girl's trip. So it's my boyfriend's aunt's birthday. and she invited me and another friend on a road trip. So we went to Dallas for the weekend and I spent a whopping$403.71. You know, that sounds like a lot, but it could have been way worse because Dallas can get kind of expensive.

29:32Sean Pyles:I went there for a wedding a few years back and spent way too much money. So what did you spend that$430.71 on? So I actually was mindful of my spending during that time because I knew I had a pretty stringent budget for the month. and I budgeted$500 so I came out under which is nice. So you basically earned money on this vacation because you didn't spend $500. I did. $70 for you. Mostly honestly what we spent money on was eating out but there was a highlight of the trip. We have to do a random thing and we all went to the tattoo shop and we were like let's get a tattoo and I got a new tattoo.

30:08You got a tattoo.

30:09Sean Pyles:What did you get? I have. This is my seventh one. Seven. It's a tree. It's really pretty. Why did you get a tree? To signify I'm in my lover girl era. To signify growth and rooting and grounding and love. That's beautiful. You each got different tattoos? Yes, we did. So the birthday girl got her first ever tattoo. She freaked out the whole time. Of course. Meanwhile, she only got four numbers. If you're watching this, Woodland, she got four numbers, and she was making such a fuss about it. Well, where did she get them? Depending on where you get your tattoo, it can hurt. She got it on her wrist, and it's her son's birthday, which is very sweet.

30:44Sean Pyles:Yeah. And the other friend was also a mom and she got something related to her son as well. I think his birthday and then some astrology. And you said my tattoos about me. Yeah, because I mean, like I grew in my body. He's ingrained in my DNA. I don't need a tattoo of him, too. He's in my face. You got a reminder of him all the time. Exactly. Every time you pull out your suitcase that he somehow marked up with a knife, you got a reminder. Exactly. I don't necessarily need him tattooed on my body. That's fair. Yeah. How much did that cost you, though? $100. That's actually really not bad for a tattoo.

31:17Sean Pyles:I agree. Including tip? No, with a tip, it's like a, no, like$120. Okay. Yeah. Not bad at all. I have never had an impromptu tattoo done, and I always am impressed that people can do it. Because it seems so scary and such a big commitment. I have a few myself, but I've always, like, kind of planned them out. Oh, well, you seem like a type A person. Well, I guess except for one. I do have one that I got in college on my inner lip with my friend. and it says fools or at least it used to say fools. Oh, wait, wait, wait. Your inner lip, the inside of your lip? I won't be showing it on camera in this episode.

31:48Sean Pyles:Oh my gosh, Sean. I'll show you at the bar after this recording. Just when I think I know everything about you. Yeah. I love it. My friend paid for it because she was so generous and kind. Oh, that's sweet. Yeah, I think we still have some weird mishmash of letters that used to say fools. How bad did it hurt? Not at all because it's just fatty. So if it's on bone, it hurts a lot but if it's just this, barely felt a thing. Every single tattoo I've gotten And there's been impromptu. I don't know that many or any of them were thought foods. But that's just me. That's my personality. Yeah, yeah, that's you.

32:15Just go with the flow, you know? I don't have any I regret anyway. I would say from that trip, though, the other thing that was memorable that I spent my money on was when I moved to Texas, everyone's like, oh, the barbecue, the barbecue. I find it underwhelming, if I'm being completely honest. Maybe I've not been to enough places because, honestly, I don't eat that much meat. But the few places I have been to, it's been maybe like a 6 over 10. I found a 10 over 10 spot, Sean.

32:36Sean Pyles:All right. When you were in Dallas? Yes. If you live in Dallas, you have to go. This is a free plug. Off the bone barbecue. Best barbecue I ever had in my life. Elizabeth is now a food influencer. Absolutely not. But I've heard that I know good food. I just heard from grapevine. You can try it out and let me know what you think. Yeah, I trust your taste. Yeah, it was affordable and I liked it so much that I bought some to take home on the way home. So I went twice. How much did it cost you? The second batch, the first batch was reasonable. Maybe like$25. But when I took some home, because I brought some for me, I owe my boyfriend.

33:09I probably spent like 60 bucks or so. Okay. Getting more.

33:12Sean Pyles:But that's not bad for like all of that food for three people. No. A little memento. How long of a drive is that for you? Four hours. Okay. Four hours. So not bad. So Sean, I have yapped about my rose. What was yours? My rose. I will say, quick spoiler, all of my rose, thorn, and bud happened over the past weekend. My rose was a little boat trip that my friends and I took for our birthday. we rented a boat on the Willamette in Portland and you get two hours it's like three hundred dollars and you can fit ten people on this boat and one person is the captain like your friend is just a captain of this little boat and all they do to make someone an official captain is give them a captain's hat that they must wear they watch one little video and then you're just out in the river they say it's like driving a sofa and it really is and so we had two hours out there just to hang out have some drinks have some snacks it was a beautiful evening and so for my portion of the boat it was like 35 dollars for that experience yeah well then i did spend another like 40-ish on snacks and drinks for everyone and then we went out to a bar after and i spent another like 70 dollars so it was like about i haven't done the math on all that right now i think it's like 135-ish dollars for everything before it was like a belated birthday thing for my friend and me and we had such a phenomenal time it was great we've done it two years in a row now and I think it's becoming a tradition.

34:33Sean Pyles:It's a tradition. It sounds like a great tradition. I would love to do that. And now that I've discovered germamine, I don't have to worry about motion sickness. There you go. I mean, maybe since you're in Portland, we'll see how much time we have. We might get out on that boat. Oh my God. I would love to, but just be ready for boat behavior. All right. Now let's move on to the thorns. Oh, great. I get to vent. You know, I always vent about this. I hate the summer because I hate how high my electric bill gets. Especially Especially in Texas, it's so hot. Steaming. I spent$171 on electricity this month.

35:05Some people may be watching and listening and saying that's not a lot, depending on where you live and how much you pay. That seems like a lot to me. But in the winter, I pay like$60. Going from$60 to almost$200 during the summer is pretty annoying.

35:16Sean Pyles:So over$100 more just to cool your house, basically. Yeah. And I have to keep it cool, especially because I stay downstairs, but Ayo sleeps upstairs. And as we know, heat rises. So it gets really warm up there. and obviously I want him to be comfortable. So I've got to keep it running. Dang. Well, my thorn is an ongoing minor crisis, which is that my car is in the shop. And I don't know how much it's going to cost me because it's still there being diagnosed as we're recording. But just the diagnosis, how much do you think that costs? You drive a BMW. And from what I hear about people who drive luxury cars, I'm going to say$200.

35:51Sean Pyles:$265. See, I was close. Just for them to tell me what I already know is wrong with it. Wow. Hopefully they don't find anything else when they're driving it around. They always do. Yeah. And they give you a laundry list of things to fix. Right. When I dropped off the car yesterday morning, the guy was like, oh, so just so you know, the tires are looking a little thin. Like I just got new tires last year. So I will not be doing it again. Leave me alone. I've had to learn to say no. But this is the price I pay to have a stupid car like this. I do love my car. I don't have a car payment. I keep trying to think and remind myself that whatever it's going to cost to get my car fixed will be, you know, not that much more than the average car payment for a lot of folks, which is around like$700 right now.

36:26Sean Pyles:now yeah it's wild for a new car i mean monthly prices for your your payment are just wild right now so at least there's that trying to put it in perspective i do have a car fund with money in it just for this purpose that softens the blow a little bit it does kind of not feel great when you're pulling money from a sinking fund that we've talked about this before just like having to allocate that and realize okay now i have maybe a grand less in my house is what i'm expecting this to end up being but i'll build it up over time and it's fine and i still have a car and and again, don't have a car payment each month.

36:58Sean Pyles:So I'll deal with it. I'm hoping that I have an answer right at the end of the day of how much I'm going to be paying. And I really hope it's less than$1 ,000. I'm crossing my toes for you, Sean. Crossing everything right now. Yeah, that's my thorn. So what is your bud? This is the hopeful thing that you spent money on. That's something in development. Well, I have two mini buds. I did some car insurance shopping. Okay. Proud of you. Thank you. I was able to reduce my monthly car insurance payment by 40 bucks. Wait, that's great. Yeah. And when you add it up over, you know, the course of a year, that's 40 bucks that can go to something else that has nothing to do with my car.

37:32Sean Pyles:And you have the same coverage. You just better coverage, actually. Better coverage for less money. OK, this is why we say shop around people. Exactly. So I felt like that was a win for me. Can you talk about how long it took you to do that? Because I think that people think shopping around is going to be this really time consuming, boring process. I'm sure the latter was true. But how long did it actually take you? It took me probably about an hour and a half not long at all this is being honest I use nerd wallet I use nerd wallet and I was able to it's not a secret I switched over to Geico and she's not being paid by Geico no I'm not being paid by Geico I might be a nerd wallet partner I went from progressive to Geico and I just got a better deal so I felt like that was a great win and I guess I would that's a good reminder because I've been meaning to shop around for over a year I've been not practicing what I preach for a minute and my car insurance has gotten more and more expensive.

38:25Sean Pyles:So I think I'm just going to do it. I'm going to spend the hour, hour and a half and just get some quotes and see if I can bundle and save my home and auto. And yeah, hopefully not spend as much each month. That was the other thing too. I saw Progressive, it may just be$10, but it's not just$10 Progressive. They were increasing my insurance by$10. So I was like, uh-uh, let me see if I can find it cheaper somewhere else. My other bud is, you know, that I enjoy painting and I went to a free painting class for those who read the newsletter. You might have read that. Went to a free painting class at my local library and I did my first landscape painting, which I haven't done before, and it actually came out decently.

39:03So then I decided to go to Michael's and get some paintbrushes. So I put it as a bud because my painting is like a developing skill. It may not pay me anything, but it does pay me in non-tangible things. It brings me joy.

39:15Sean Pyles:You're getting non-financial wealth and fulfillment from this hobby of yours. So you invested some money into it and it'll enable you to do more and more painting, which is really rewarding. It's nice to have activities not on the screen. You can just hang in your home and relax and paint. And you mentioned that your neighbors love seeing all your paintings in the window. So you bring joy to the community. Yes. Hey, neighbors. I'm going to rotate my paintings next week. Watch out. So all in all, Sean, from your spending over the past month, how do you feel about it good well i have my bud oh sorry i didn't do your bud i'm sorry i'm just concluding without asking your bud what's your bud sean my bud you'll be shocked to learn that i spent more money on running stuff i'm currently i'm like three weeks out from my run around mount hood why east it's a three-day run where you're doing 13 miles each day i've been telling you about how i've been running like 40 miles a week is my entire life at this point it's been great it's been hard work i'm burning through shoes so i had to buy some new running shoes because some ones i had before were getting real busted in ways that are too graphic for this podcast.

40:16Sean Pyles:So I bought a new pair of running shoes, but I went to the Nike employee store. I had a voucher for my running group, so I was able to get like 40 % off. That's awesome. So tap your connections to get discounts. How do I get 40 % off? You have to join my running club, I guess. I also bought a top and I spent, it was about$200 for both of those. So that's really not bad considering how expensive running shoes and running clothes can be. And it sounded like a need or was it a want because your other ones were busted no it's technically a want because i don't need these shoes to survive but the other shoes were like real gnarly it's taking a lot of willpower to not describe just how bad they were but it's that's also for smart money after dark we'll talk about that um but these new ones are fresh and clean and don't have weird stuff on them and they're gonna enable me to run the rest of my 40 miles each week before i begin to taper in just a couple weeks i've been training for this you know for the past six to nine months and i'm finally kind of at the end of it and it feels good to have like some fresh clean shoes just to see me through to this final stretch of it yeah and i think it's a reminder that wants are allowed right i know i mentioned that you know was it a need but it doesn't have to be a need right and in some ways this is a need because it does help me feel healthy and fulfilled and it's very meditative when i'm running so even though it's not a strict need like a utility bill or medication or groceries.

41:34Sean Pyles:It's a more intangible way of having my other needs met. I want to just shout you out. A theme that I noticed with you is your dedication to things. Just like when you were doing your CFP course, you just go all in, you give it a thousand percent. And I really admire that about you. And I can see you doing that with the running now too. Yeah. You know, I've had friends point out that when I say I'm going to do something, I do it. And I'm like, well, yeah, why wouldn't you? But a lot of people say they're going to do things and they don't do them, it turns out. But that's just who I am. I'm committed to the bit.

42:04Sean Pyles:So I'm going to have a great time. It's going to be wild to run around this mountain. I'll send some photos. It might be part of the newsletter. I have been talking about running in the newsletter. Folks who are not signed up, sign up. We have a link in the episode description. Check on it right now. We're posting all sorts of cute things in there and money tips occasionally. So yeah, that is my bud is my new stuff for running. So it's been a busy, kind of expensive weekend because all of that just happened in the past few days. The boat was on Friday. My engine light came on on Saturday. I went to the Nike store on Sunday.

42:37Sean Pyles:So it's been a whirlwind. I spent hundreds of dollars if you're tracking everything I just spent in a pretty short amount of time. But sometimes you have little busy weekends, expensive weekends, and I'm still feeling good about what it means for my spending over the entire month. And I think all of this is going to set me up to be in a good place over the next few weeks. Good. Yeah. You got to leave some room for fluidity when it comes to finances. You got to let life happen. And some of that will include doing things with friends, will include hobbies, will include unexpected bills. And you just make it all work within your budget.

43:08And when it doesn't work, you try again, eh?

43:10Sean Pyles:Right. Or like you pull back in one area to fund another. It's a fluid process you have to adapt to over time so it seems like you're doing a similar thing with your money where you had a lot of fun when you were in dallas maybe your utility bill isn't exciting but it's keeping you and your son comfortable at night and that's really really important and you have your hobby that you're developing too so one thing that i've been thinking about because we need to paint together sometime i used to watercolor paint a lot i remember you went to the classes yes i took some classes at the local community college in portland and since i've been running like it's a part-time job because it basically is.

43:44Sean Pyles:I haven't really had a lot of time for that. So once I'm done with this mountain run, I'm going to get back into painting and we'll commiserate over how easy it is to spend a lot of money on painting. We might have to have me come to Portland again to shoot. And there were so many of you who sent in questions and who came into the studio and we might have to do another edition and maybe we could do like a painting edition, Sean. That would be really fun. We can do like a finance and paint. Yes. And I mean, my instructor has a whole business where She used to work at the community college, and now she's gone off and done her own thing.

44:16Sean Pyles:I want to hear about how she's structuring her business. So, Leslie, I might be hitting you up. And that's all we have for this episode. If you would like to tell us what you spent, your roses, your buds, your thorns over the past month, you can send them to us at podcast at nerdwallet.com. You can call or text us on the nerd hotline at 901-730-6373. It's 901-730-NERD. nerd. You can also drop us a comment on Spotify or YouTube. Join us next time to hear about balancing debt and investing. But until then, we want you to follow us on your favorite podcast app that might be Apple, Spotify, iHeartRadio to automatically download new episodes.

44:54Sean Pyles:Here's our brief disclaimer. We are not your financial or investment advisors. This nerdy info is provided for general educational and entertainment purposes may not apply to your specific circumstances. Companies mentioned in this episode may be NerdWallet partners, but does not influence how we talk about them. And we want to give a big thank you to AV department in Portland for hosting us. And with that said, until next time, turn to the nerds.

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