What Does "Rich" Really Mean? Reddit's Personal Finance Questions, Answered by the Nerds

6:31Sean Pyles:Like what?

6:32Elizabeth Ayoola:The biggest one is I was like, OK, well, how do I maximize this huge bill? Because I was paying quarterly. You could pay in one bulk and then that's cheaper. Or you could pay quarterly and it's a little more expensive. Quarterly was more manageable for me at the time. So I said I'd pay quarterly. If you put it on a credit card, you get charged a 2 % fee.

6:50Sean Pyles:Of course. Which is basically wiping out any value of points that you might be getting.

6:54Elizabeth Ayoola:Oh, I didn't do that. I didn't do that math. And I went to take out my American Express Platinum at the time. And I said, hey, I can get the meet the bonus requirements, which was to spend a large chunk within six months using the private school charges. And initially that was working out. That was until I decided to pull him out the next year.

7:14Sean Pyles:Oh.

7:14Elizabeth Ayoola:I did not get my sign-up bonus points. Oh, no. I paid fees on the charges because I was using my credit card to pay the tuition every quarter. And then, you know, basically I was at a loss.

7:27Sean Pyles:Oof. Okay. So if you added up all of these expenses, I guess I was supposed to be the one doing the mental math.

7:33Elizabeth Ayoola:Well, I haven't told you yet. So let me read them out. Okay. Registration fee is the first fee. To register your child, you have to pay$800. So I paid$800 for a registration fee. Then you get charged$450 for a tech fee. Mind you, you're not getting any tangible tech. It's not like they're giving you an iPad.

7:48Sean Pyles:It's the tech that's in the school.

7:49Elizabeth Ayoola:That's right, that they're just using at school. A think tank fee of$200.

7:53Sean Pyles:What's the think tank? Was Iowa in a think tank? Are you part of a think tank if you go to the school? Was there going to be a think tank coming to the school? What does that mean? Who knows?

8:01Elizabeth Ayoola:And I should have asked, but I was just like, here, take my money. Yeah. Then there was also the quarterly tuition, which is the biggest chunk. So I was paying$3 ,450 a quarter. plus the 2 % credit card transaction fee, which I calculated to come up to$276 for four quarters.

8:19Sean Pyles:That's a good chunk of an annual fee on a credit card, especially if you had Amex Platinum. Terms and conditions apply, but I'm sure that's a very expensive fee.

8:25Elizabeth Ayoola:It is an expensive fee, almost$1 ,000 now. So it's around, I think, the 900 mark. That is how much I paid. So, I mean, it was a little depressing. And actually, there's more. I decided at the last minute to pull him out of private school when I finally decided to go across the street and check out the school. And it was the aura. You know, sometimes you just know. You go in there, you feel it. Everyone was so warm and friendly. And it was literally across the street? It's literally across the street.

8:50Sean Pyles:So you're saving on gas and time.

8:52Elizabeth Ayoola:Yes. We literally walk to school. I get my steps in every morning when I do take him, when I'm not running late and end up dropping him by the car. But it actually is an incredible school and he loves it. And I just thought, I wish I would have been more open and checked out the school before I put him inside of that private school. But you live and you live. Do they have enough supports for him? That's the other thing. They have lots of support for him at the school as well. They're able to give him an IEP, an individual learning plan for children with disabilities. Right. And he also his teachers are incredible.

9:25Elizabeth Ayoola:His teachers are incredible. And I have to point out, I didn't love the teacher that he had. I just think they weren't compatible student and teacher to put it in a nice way at other school. So I'm paying all these private school fees. And then he's not even working out for him.

9:37Sean Pyles:He's not even happy there. Exactly. So what do you think is your main lesson that you're taking away from this mistake?

9:44Elizabeth Ayoola:Well, first of all, especially when it comes to education or anything, always weigh out all the options. Don't be close to certain options. I think in my mind, a big part of it as well is that I'm a single mom. And I put a lot of pressure on myself because I'm the primary parent to make sure that I'm doing a good job and he has a good outcome. And I think that really drove my decision versus being practical and saying, what are all the options here? And private school may not be the best option. And even when it was time to pull him out, it was a very emotional decision for me because it almost felt like I was failing in a way.

10:16Elizabeth Ayoola:Like, I attached so much meaning to I'm able to be a single mom and put him in private school and give him the best and I can do this all by myself that I was basically stepping on my own feet financially and putting myself.

10:29Sean Pyles:You were paying kind of more for the image and for the expectation that you were putting on yourself.

10:34Elizabeth Ayoola:Yes.

10:35Sean Pyles:More than what you were actually you weren't really getting as good of a value education wise for what Io really needs. And it sounds like he's in a much better situation. He is.

10:43Elizabeth Ayoola:He is. And I. Would you like to know how much you spent? Yes, please. Tess. Thank you. Tess is going to do going to do the math for us. She's done it already. Fifteen thousand two hundred and fifty six dollars down the drain. Okay, okay, okay, fine. Not down the drain. It's not down the drain. I'm going to do some girl math here because while I didn't love that school for IELTS, there was some value in it. He loved it. He did like the school sometimes. He did make new friends. He made a lot of friends. And I'm sure that he had experiences that will stay with him there.

11:17Sean Pyles:But if you think about$15 ,000 something over the course of the next 10 years.

11:22Elizabeth Ayoola:Oh, don't do that to me. If that was in his 529 account.

11:25Sean Pyles:That could be$150 ,000 toward his college fund. And now you'll be saving that money.

11:31Elizabeth Ayoola:My biggest financial learning here is when you've made a financial mistake, it is OK to stop the bleeding one and to pivot and just to cut your losses. And a part of me wanted to also keep going because I had already invested so much in the school. But it's like, well, how much more will you save if you pull him out? And like you said, put that money into a 529 account or even towards extracurriculars because I found my budget was a lot tighter and he couldn't do a lot of other things because I'm paying all this money in private school.

11:58Sean Pyles:importantly, he's now in a school that he really likes and has the support that he needs. And that's paramount, right?

12:03Elizabeth Ayoola:It is. And now I'm paying nothing.

12:05Sean Pyles:Love it. All right.

12:07Elizabeth Ayoola:So you have to tell me your financial mistake, Sean.

12:09Sean Pyles:Okay. Mine doesn't have a specific dollar amount attached to it. It's more of a mindset issue that I had when I was in my early 20s. I was super avoidant with all of my money and just buried my head in the sand. And I think I mentioned this before, but I I didn't grow up with like tons and tons of money. I never really made a lot. At one point in my early 20s, I finally got a job where I was earning as a contractor$7 ,000 a month, which felt like a million dollars to me. And I would get just like a straight check once a month. And that was all my spending money. I was living in San Francisco. I was probably 21, 22.

12:46Sean Pyles:And I was just having the best time of my life. And besides paying my rent each month, I wasn't looking at my expenses at all. I overdrafted semi regularly that still didn't stop me from going out you would think that I would have had some kind of level of caution or reserve or thought at all about what I was doing with my money but I was just so focused on continuing to enjoy my day-to-day life in this amazing city with my new friends and my great job that I just kept things sliding and sliding and sliding and overspending until a year after I got this job, I had to pay my taxes. This was before quarterly estimated taxes were required by law.

13:30Sean Pyles:So I ended up with just this one big tax bill that was free from those penalties because they didn't exist yet, fortunately. But I still owed a lot more money than I really had. So I finally had to log into my account and see what I had. Wait, wait, wait, wait.

13:45Elizabeth Ayoola:What do you mean finally logged into your account? When the last time you logged into your account before that?

13:48Sean Pyles:I can't tell you because I don't know. I wouldn't log in.

13:52Elizabeth Ayoola:Wow. This is a safe space, but wow.

13:55Sean Pyles:I know. It's really irresponsible or it was. Sean was like, yo, love me 12 years ago was super, super irresponsible with my money, but I've come so far since then. And I think a lot of it comes back to the fact that I didn't have a long-term plan. I didn't have a long-term vision. I was really just super in YOLO mode every single day because that's what you do when you're 22 and your brain isn't fully formed and you're given access to money. And I, in some ways, don't regret. I was just going to ask you that.

14:25Elizabeth Ayoola:You sounded like you had a ball, okay? It sounded like a fun time.

14:28Sean Pyles:Yeah. I really made the most of it, but I could tell that I was sliding towards disaster, especially once my tax bill hit and I had to get on a payment plan. I had to reckon with this fact that I just was neglecting my finances. And it made me begin to think about why I was so avoidant with my money, because I knew I wasn't being responsible with it. And then the more avoidant I get, the more irresponsible I would get. And it was just this really dangerous cycle that I think if I frankly hadn't started working at NerdWallet, I would have been in a much worse off situation because I finally could use my journalistic skill is to learn about money and how to make my money a little bit better.

15:11Sean Pyles:But so few of us have that financial education, especially when you're in your 20s. You finally have access to real money and to credit really dangerously for the first time in your life. And we hear from so many of our listeners about how they get into debt in their early 20s because they're given access to a credit card at college or they just quote unquote need one to go on a trip and then they spend years and years paying it off. So I am grateful for my job. Thank you, NerdWallet, and the education it gave me. But I wonder really what it would have taken otherwise if I hadn't gotten this job to get me on the right track or if I would be in some deep debt hole.

15:50Sean Pyles:Sometimes when I'm having trouble sleeping at night, I just think about that alternative universe version of me that didn't get this job or just kept going down this avoidant rabbit hole because now I think I have this almost hypervigilant other side where I check my accounts at least weekly to make sure I'm paying off my credit card balances and my spending is in check because of how wild I was a decade plus ago.

16:11Elizabeth Ayoola:I have so many follow-up questions, and I have these follow-up questions because I think your story is so relatable. I think there are so many people out there. This is not based on any data, but in my mind.

16:22Sean Pyles:Anecdotally. Right?

16:23Elizabeth Ayoola:Anecdotally, and sometimes based on listener questions as well.

16:26Sean Pyles:Yeah, and people like our Our friends that we talked to? Yeah.

16:29Elizabeth Ayoola:They don't know where their money is going. They are afraid to check their accounts and they just keep spending because of that cycle you said, right? You're overspending. You know you're overspending. You're too scared to check. You feel terrible about it and you make yourself feel better by spending more. What was your dominant emotion when you logged into your account and then realized you had that huge tax bill and saw where all of your YOLO took you financially? Yeah.

16:53Sean Pyles:I would say there was a lot of anxiety, tightness in my chest and my shoulders when I was logging in because, of course, like I couldn't remember my password.

17:03Elizabeth Ayoola:That too. And then now you're like resetting everything.

17:07Sean Pyles:Which is really bad. And then there was an immediate moment of relief when I saw my balance. It wasn't as bad as I had expected, but I knew I didn't have enough to cover my bill. So I have a friend who's a CPA and she was able to get me on this payment plan. Thank God for her help. It didn't stop at that point either. You know, like I had that log in to break the habit. Yeah, but I would still after I got my payment plan, I would still avoid checking my accounts every so often because I knew I wasn't going to like what I saw. And I know that I still have part of that impulse in me. And so I have to be really on top of it.

17:40Sean Pyles:Otherwise, you know, if I've gone on a vacation or I'm out of my regular habit of managing my finances for whatever reason, for whatever is going on in my life, it can be kind of tempting just to be like, I'll check it later. Yeah. But it feels so nice just to know what's going on with your money and to be more empowered and just honestly make an informed decision about where your cash is going. Yeah. Because for so long I was just flying by the seat of my pants and eventually the pants were no longer. I was wearing no pants.

18:08Elizabeth Ayoola:Oh, my God. To be granular, because sometimes we talk about this transformation, you know, when we go from maybe overspending to managing our money better. But what are the little daily things that you did to get to better habits around checking your money and also budgeting? What are the little tweaks? Because like you said, it doesn't happen overnight. You don't just see this huge bill and go, oh, my God, I'm going to stop spending. You've built habits over time, right?

18:35Sean Pyles:I had to build kind of my own administrative infrastructure. So part of that was setting up auto pay for all of my credit cards. And I almost view that as like a looming threat over my checking account. It is.

18:45Elizabeth Ayoola:Because if you ain't got enough in there, womp womp.

18:47Sean Pyles:I know that the money is going to come out at a certain time. So that pushes me to log into my account on a more regular basis. So I am more on top of my spending and I end up paying off my cards about weekly. So just tricking myself into being accountable and responsible is a big one. So whatever way you can trick yourself into doing that works for you. Right. And then really just getting clear about the general shape of my budget. Back in that time when money was tighter, I had a much clearer understanding of where my money was going in terms of I mean, we would call it now like 50, 30, 20 framework, but really just what were my needs?

19:22And then how much can I spend on like, just goofing off with my friends and going out to the clubs?

19:27Sean Pyles:But I had to do that homework and it felt really foreign. I didn't really know what I was doing because I didn't have the information. But I knew I just needed to be somewhat responsible for the first time in my life financially.

19:38Elizabeth Ayoola:And I love that you've still been able to be true to yourself because the things that you were doing that got you into that debt, you still do them because they bring you joy. But you just do it within your budget now, it sounds like, right?

19:48Sean Pyles:I'm not going out clubbing nearly as much as I was 12 years ago. Well, out with your friends. I know you like to hang out with your friends and eat, right? Yes, yeah. I'm still spending my money on social things. But I'm doing it in a more measured way, I'll say.

20:00Elizabeth Ayoola:Yeah.

20:00Sean Pyles:Okay. Well, listeners, if you have any really embarrassing financial decisions, mistakes, experiences, horror stories, anything, please let us know. We love to hear from you. Hit us up on the Nerd Hotline at 901-730-6373. You can text us or leave us a voicemail there. You can also email us at podcast at nerdballet.com or leave us a comment on Spotify or YouTube.

20:22Elizabeth Ayoola:In a moment, we'll be looking into questions people are asking on Reddit. And guess what? You got to stay tuned because we're reading comments too.

20:30Sean Pyles:All right. We've got more in a moment. Stay with us.

20:37Sean Pyles:Today's episode is sponsored by Shopify. I remember years ago when I started the Smart Money podcast, I had no idea if it was going to be a success. Now, years later, the show is, if I can say, a huge success. And I'm so glad that I believed in myself when I launched this podcast. Now, I do know I was right in believing in myself launching this show, despite all of my fears and hesitations. But it also helps when you have a partner like Shopify on your side to help.

21:02Elizabeth Ayoola:Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10 % of all e-commerce in the U.S., from household names like Gymshark, A-Lo Yoga, to Heinz, to brands just getting started.

21:15Sean Pyles:Get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready-to-use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store that matches your brand style.

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21:36Sean Pyles:It's time to turn those what-ifs into... With Shopify today.

21:40Elizabeth Ayoola:Sign up for your$1 per month trial today at shopify.com slash smartmoney.

21:46Sean Pyles:Go to shopify.com slash smart money.

21:49Elizabeth Ayoola:That's shopify.com slash smart money.

22:16Sean Pyles:$75 sponsored job credit at Indeed.com slash podcast. Terms and conditions apply. We're back. And this is usually the part where we answer your money questions, except today, we're going to be seeing what people are asking on Reddit. Longtime listeners of Smart Money know that I'm a huge Reddit stan and I love scrolling through the personal finance and the Henry, which stands for high earner, not rich yet subreddits. And just see what people are posting about their personal finances. They get a lot of advice that's often not great, but I love just being nosy and looking through all of it. So we're going to explore that on today's episode.

22:50Sean Pyles:Elizabeth, are you a Reddit person?

22:53Elizabeth Ayoola:I love me some Reddit and I have proof because I got the app. Okay. Okay. I'm not always poking around on the finance side of Reddit, but when I watch a show and no one else is watching the show, I'll go on Reddit. That's where my community is to hear the conversation about the show.

23:08Sean Pyles:I've been playing a lot of this video game called Pocopia. It's like Animal Crossing meets Pokemon, and the Pocopia subreddit is top-notch. So highly recommend it, even if you're not playing that game. That's right. But this is about money, so let's get back into personal finance stuff. Given that Reddit is on the internet and everyone there is a stranger, we don't have the people who posted these things to actually read their posts, so we have our colleagues on the Smart Money team to read them for us. Here's the first one, read by marketing guru Cody Goff. I know this is subjective and very different for everyone, But I would like to know, what would make you too rich for this not-rich-yet sub?

23:41Sean Pyles:Is it based on income, net worth, an ability to do something? Is it a dollar amount, or relative to your spending? Some things I hope can go without saying, I think we can all admit that we are rich by much of the world's standards. Your family's goals doesn't mean you aren't grateful for the things you have. Of course, being truly rich is about more than money. But we are talking about money here.

24:09Elizabeth Ayoola:Okay. So, Sean, what does being rich mean to you? I love this subreddit because it's always such an interesting conversation. And for me, these conversations are so interesting because they tell you about what people value and what their values are. How people spend their money and what they consider rich tells me a lot about who you are as a person.

24:27Sean Pyles:What being rich means is so subjective. I think a lot of folks imagine there's a dollar amount, but to me, it's really the ability to just live my life without being too concerned about how much I have in my bank account. I know my expenses are covered. I'm buying the fancy baguette at the grocery store and not worried that it's$5. So that's what being rich means to me is just having options and flexibility and a real lack of stress about finances.

24:52Elizabeth Ayoola:Yeah, I have a similar take on it. For me, being rich is about freedom. If I can buy back my time, it's very sentimental to me. And obviously, it takes money to do that, which is the finance aspect, then I consider myself rich. And I know people may argue me down because maybe that number is not$10 million. But for me, it's more about what I can do because I don't have to worry about money.

25:13Sean Pyles:Yeah, a lot of people get caught up on a certain dollar amount, like how much money they might be earning in a year. And they assume that you need to make six figures to be rich. And I think a lot of folks know that six figures won't go as far as it did even a few years ago. And the median income in the U.S. is just$84 ,000, according to the U.S. Census. And that was in 2024. And frankly, that doesn't seem like a lot of money. So the median person isn't really rich by dollar standards.

25:40Elizabeth Ayoola:I agree. But I haven't really heard anyone say, hey, I make 80K and I'm rich or even lower six figures and I'm rich, except when I went to the career day at I.O. School and the kids asked me how much I make. And they were like, oh my God, you're rich, which I was like, not quite, but it brings to our point. I feel like when people see someone have access to a certain amount of money that they don't have access to that can't buy them the things that they value, right? They consider maybe that person.

26:06Sean Pyles:Something else I always want to talk about when we talk about what it means to be rich is this idea of non-financial wealth. And that's things that you have beyond your income or your net worth. And that's the people that love you in your life, your community, your hobbies, the things that bring you joy, that is often more important than just the dollars you have in your account, in my opinion.

26:23Elizabeth Ayoola:I agree. And the older I get, I know there was some study floating around some years ago that said after you earn a certain amount, it's not going to change much in terms of like your satisfaction and your joy. So I feel like once you earn a certain amount, I mean, for me personally, there's only so many things I can buy, right, to help me feel fulfilled. So I don't think personally that I need millions to feel rich.

26:44Sean Pyles:I would love millions to feel rich. because it's going to make everything else in my life a lot easier. I agree. But that said, yeah, you should think about what the idea of enough is for you. How much money is going to be enough before you think, maybe I don't need to be in this rat race as aggressively as I was before. Well, let's get into some of the Redditor comments because that's often the best part of any Reddit post is what these strangers are saying to one another. One comment that stands out to me is someone saying, I'd say a$10 million net worth is rich, but I don't think people are spending much different if they have$3 million to, say,$8 million, which is interesting and rings kind of true, but also feels wildly speculative because you don't know what anyone's expenses are.

27:23Sean Pyles:I mean, there's a huge difference between$3 million and$8 million. I wonder where people get these numbers from.

27:30Elizabeth Ayoola:I know. I guess we'll never know unless we start replying their comments.

27:33Sean Pyles:Yes. Although I'm a lurker. I'm not about to be talking with people on these posts.

27:37Elizabeth Ayoola:Someone said, when you can live an upper middle class lifestyle or better with no earned income, that means rich.

27:42Sean Pyles:Someone else said, when I stopped coming to the sub to look for advice, but to give advice. Yeah. When you graduate from this subreddit. Yeah.

27:51Elizabeth Ayoola:But I think the general consensus here is having passive income versus having to work for every dollar.

27:56Sean Pyles:Exactly. Yeah. You can basically self-sustain your life on dividends or returns from selling investments and not be tied to a nine to five job. That, I think, is what a lot of people consider being rich.

28:07Elizabeth Ayoola:Yeah.

28:07Sean Pyles:Let's get to the next post.

28:09Elizabeth Ayoola:And the next one is Juicy. if I might say so myself. Our next Reddit post is read by our show producer, the fabulous Tess Vigeland, who you always hear in the end credits.

28:22Sean Pyles:My 38 female soon-to-be ex-fiance, 38-year-old male, convinced himself that an OnlyFans creator who he spends thousands of dollars on a month wants to date him. He's built up$50 ,000 in debt he's been hiding from me and has been secretly planning to liquidate his 401k 401k to try to go make things work with his girl. He's throwing away our life for a woman who he pays to like him. He fell in love with the stripper. How do I protect myself? I live in Puerto Rico. We own the house outright. We're both on the deed. He hasn't done anything physical, but I have screenshots of his OnlyFans messages and chat GPT transcripts of him saying he's going to leave me.

29:04Sean Pyles:I don't want to sell my house. Edit. All of our other finances are independent. We've been together for 13 years, living in this house we own for three. I'm going to buy him out of his equity. He gets everything he wants. I get to start over. Okay. I saw this post and I knew I needed to include it in this because it's peak Reddit drama. There is some wild interpersonal conflict going on, some situations that you hope you never experienced but love to read about.

29:33Elizabeth Ayoola:Scandalous.

29:33Sean Pyles:an AI OnlyFans complex situation is going on here. What was your first thought when you read this, Elizabeth?

29:40Elizabeth Ayoola:I said, this is my speed. I'm kidding. Obviously, I don't want to see. I hate what the Reddit poster is going through. I feel for them. Yes. Because that's absolutely awful. But I have so many questions. How did you find out? When do you plan to tell your partner that you know? How are you going to leave? But my initial thought was, you know, actually, Sean, you want to know my real thought when I read this, I was shocked that the Reddit poster wants to stay in that home.

30:05Sean Pyles:I mean, I would want to stay in that home too, I think. You put all the time and effort and money into buying this house, and then some guy that you're dating falls in love, quote unquote, with someone that he doesn't even know, and you want to leave that house? No. This is my house. You get out.

30:21Elizabeth Ayoola:No, no. So you're going to learn something about me today, and that's that I can be petty. And every almost every single thing that my exes have given me, many of them I have thrown away. I don't want to feel your energy. I don't want those memories. I'm deleting all the pictures. So I would not want to stay in a house that has memories of someone who cheated on me and in such a terrible way. I feel like it would make it hard for me to move on.

30:45Sean Pyles:This is obviously cheating and it's an emotional affair in a sense, but it's like not even really cheating because it's just a projection of a relationship for me because it's not as real and like things didn't really go down in the house in a traditional sense when it comes to cheating i would just cleanse everything hire someone to bring some sage or something and just make it feel renewed and keep my equity that's

31:09Elizabeth Ayoola:not going to help me with all the memories alicia and i need to but here's the thing i'm remembering our memories in the house too every time i'm in that house i don't want the house but the issue

31:17Sean Pyles:seems to be, this guy doesn't really have a lot of money and he probably wouldn't be able to pay you out of your equity. So do you, would you be willing to take that big of a loss?

31:28Elizabeth Ayoola:That's so hard. Okay, fine. So in that case, I am going to stay in the house. I'm going to get what I can from my cheating partner and then I'm selling that house and getting a new one.

31:41Sean Pyles:There you go. That's the smart move. Yeah. I mean, because long-term, don't you want to move on with your life too?

31:45Elizabeth Ayoola:I do.

31:46Sean Pyles:I wouldn't be moving out immediately, but I would want to have the upper hand in the immediate aftermath of whatever's going down in this relationship. But this reader here, this poster is really concerned about how to get the ex off of the house. So in that case, they would probably want to look into something called a quit claim for the deed, which would be able to allow them to sever ties. You would need the ex's, I guess, presumably ex's consent to do this, but that's going to be likely the easiest way to actually separate this joint ownership, which really goes back to how difficult it can be when you share ownership over property with someone that you're not married to.

32:21Sean Pyles:It can be really thorny to get out of it. So a lesson for people who might be considering this, try to have this exit strategy mapped out before you even get into the situation. Okay. One comment that I really liked that resonated with me is someone said, if you haven't already place a freeze on your credit, so he can't open a new mortgage slash credit card slash bank accounts using your info. That would be a really smart move, But it also presumes that your ex is organized enough to know your social security information. But still not a bad idea for anyone. Just freeze your credit, people, please.

32:49Sean Pyles:But do take steps to safeguard yourself because someone who is being called out for cheating with an OnlyFans creator and talking to AI about it, they might not be the smartest. They also might feel retaliatory and embarrassed when you do confront them with this. So take some steps to protect yourself ahead of time.

33:05Elizabeth Ayoola:That is a good point. And we don't know the nature of this relationship if she's in danger. Like you said, sometimes people become enraged when you leave. So it is definitely a good idea for them to be careful and have a good exit strategy.

33:18Sean Pyles:Yeah. And also they may just want to go somewhere else for a period of time and get out of that house. Like go stay with a friend and go get a hotel room. That's going to probably cost some money. Make sure you have some cash that aside or can at least cover this if you're putting down a credit card.

33:30Elizabeth Ayoola:That's right. And I see a lot of people giving responsible advice on Reddit. Go you guys telling the person to consult with a lawyer. Because sometimes we try to do these things on our own and you can get yourself into a lot of financial mess. So definitely speak to a professional as well.

33:43Sean Pyles:One commenter asked, how much would his half of the house cost? Could you lowball him and buy him out? I like the idea of trying to get a bargain with this. Please lowball this guy because he's already done some shady things and he probably just wants to get out of the situation too.

33:57Elizabeth Ayoola:Exactly. And like you said, maybe he ain't got a lot of money. He, they, them, right?

34:01Sean Pyles:They'll take what they can get.

34:02Elizabeth Ayoola:Exactly.

34:02Sean Pyles:Here's our next post, also from the Henry subreddit, as read by our head of multimedia, Hilary Georgie. This does not have to be anything super significant or really even that serious, but curious to know if there are habits you have had in the past that you can now change since you have money. It seems like most people on the sub grew up middle or lower class, and I know that can carry over some habits of frugality. All right, Elizabeth, I got to hear it first. What are your frugal habits?

34:30Elizabeth Ayoola:this is such a hard one for me because if I had to describe myself I would not call myself frugal okay I'm not a penny pincher I love to spoil myself and I find any excuse to treat myself well does this count so when I'm at the grocery store I think in the past you know groceries are high well they're still high but if I see chicken breast I love chicken breast for 405 and then I see one for 395 I'm getting the one for 395 is that frugal does that count

34:58Sean Pyles:I guess so. For me, whenever I see the slightly cheaper meat, I'm wondering what's wrong with it. So I'm going to find the more expensive one.

35:04Elizabeth Ayoola:How can I shave my grocery bill?

35:07Sean Pyles:There you go.

35:07Elizabeth Ayoola:But now I would say this is a bad example just to show you how unfrugal I am. But now I would say I'm not so hung up on the scent difference with the chicken breast. And I'm just going to buy it because I have to eat. Girls got to eat, right?

35:19Sean Pyles:Like you, I'm also not super frugal. Groceries is where I can maybe save the most amount of money. And I really just do that by shopping at Costco a lot, which I do because I am lazy. I like buying things in bulk, not having to go back to the store all the time. But I'm not penny pinching. I'm not cutting coupons. I'm not shopping at the cheapest stores. I think that it shows that you can be successful and save money and meet your financial goals and not be cheap. Yeah, no, not that being cheap and being frugal are exactly the same thing. But yeah, I just I've never been frugal, which was often bad when I was younger.

35:52Sean Pyles:and now I view it as treating myself.

35:55Elizabeth Ayoola:That's it.

35:55Sean Pyles:Which is me just rationalizing my behavior.

35:58Elizabeth Ayoola:I will say there's been ebbs and flows, right? Since my income has increased over the years. I did not used to want to take myself on vacation before or pay for trips when I was earning less because I was prioritizing saving. So maybe a little frugal there, but now I will pay for the trip. And before I would pay for the trip without a sinking fund, but you're going to be proud of me, Sean. I've opened a travel sinking fund.

36:21Sean Pyles:I'm so proud of you, Elizabeth. it.

36:22Elizabeth Ayoola:And I've opened a sinking fund for buying gifts for my friends and family. That's great.

36:27Sean Pyles:And for your own birthday?

36:29Elizabeth Ayoola:Well, that kind of is muddled in the birthday fund. We're getting there. Gifts for loved ones includes yourself.

36:35Sean Pyles:You're a loved one of yourself.

36:36Elizabeth Ayoola:I am. I am. I am. But yeah, so that's probably an area where maybe I was a little more frugal and not so much.

36:41Sean Pyles:Now that I'm thinking about it, I used to do this one thing to save money on gas because I have a car that takes premium. So I would drive constantly in eco mode for my first five years of having this car. And then once I paid it off, I just thought, why am I not driving this thing as fast and as fun as possible? So now I don't use EcoModa anymore, but it saved me maybe$10 a year.

37:03Elizabeth Ayoola:Not that much. I'm not going to sit up here and be like, wow, that's amazing. It's$10.

37:07Sean Pyles:I know. It was silly. It helped me feel better about my spending. And that's often what frugal tips can do is you might not be saving a ton, but it helps you feel better. But in this post, There were some comments that I thought were creative and also things that I just wouldn't do ever. One, someone said, this is the person who actually posted first. They said, the thing I've broken as of recently is getting a really short haircut just to, quote, get my money's worth. I would dislike my haircut for the first three weeks and then grow it out three weeks longer than I would like, just so I only had to go in every four-ish months.

37:39Sean Pyles:So basically they're saying they don't like how they look most of the time just to save however much on the haircut.

37:44Elizabeth Ayoola:I cannot relate. No shade, but I can't relate with that. But wow, that's dedication.

37:49Sean Pyles:That's sacrifice.

37:50Elizabeth Ayoola:Yeah, definitely. Oh my gosh. Someone said refusing to throw away pillows no matter how flat and yellow it gets. Yuck. I'm not judging, but I'm judging. That's nasty. How much are pillows? We can create a sinking fund for pillows.

38:03Sean Pyles:Pillows are not cheap, I'll say. I got some from Quince. This is not a sponsored post from Quince, but I did get some from Quince and they were like$100 each. They're down pillows because I'm usually like that.

38:14Elizabeth Ayoola:I ain't never seen a pillow that expensive. I usually go to Ross or Marshalls.

38:17Sean Pyles:It's worth it. I'll tell you. Okay. One person said a frugal habit they kicked was being cheap with stuff that actually affected their daily life. I used to delay buying decent shoes, a proper mattress, even replacing things that were clearly worn out. I'd squeeze every last bit out of them just to feel like I was being smart with money. In reality, I was just lowering my quality of life over$50 to$100. Yes.

38:39Elizabeth Ayoola:That is, you know, that reminds me of something my stepmom once said, because you were talking about earlier the quality of meat. And she said to me, never be cheap about what you put in your body, because that has a direct correlation with your health. And now there are lots of arguments around whether people have access, right, to clean food and can afford it. So sometimes people are just buying what they can afford. But if you can, in my opinion, you should not be cheap about things that relate to your health. So I relate with that.

39:07Sean Pyles:Things in your body or on your body in the case of clothing. You need some comfortable shoes because that can mess up your back if you're not wearing it.

39:13Elizabeth Ayoola:Oh, this person is wild, okay? They said, I stopped looking at prices on restaurant menus. I now order what I want to eat or drink. I still feel vaguely guilty about it, but I get over it pretty soon. So you don't even know what bill is coming to you. You're just going off of vibes.

39:29Sean Pyles:Once that drink hits their mouth, they're like, I'm over it. I don't care about it anymore. That's so wild. Okay, one thing that someone said is they stop feeling bad about guilt over small purchases. Yes, the$8 daily latte can add up, but I don't go to coffee shops daily. So when I do, I don't sweat it if my Starbucks order hits$10. There's this old trope around not having that daily latte. Yes, if you're spending$200 a month on Starbucks every single morning, then sure, that's going to affect your budget. But just enjoy your coffee, people.

40:00Elizabeth Ayoola:Now, I can relate with this. not thinking twice when setting the thermostat because that bill be high, okay? And that's what's currently going on in my household. I'm very frugal. Now I'm remembering frugal things with how I use my heating and my air conditioning. And my mom is here now in my house. I want her to be comfortable. And let me tell you that AC is on all the time. And I'm scared to look at my bill.

40:23Sean Pyles:You live in Texas.

40:23Elizabeth Ayoola:It's so hot there.

40:25Sean Pyles:It's a matter of survival for you.

40:27Elizabeth Ayoola:We're transitioning from winter to spring. so it's bearable for me but i don't want my mom to be uncomfortable so my bill's gonna be higher

40:34Sean Pyles:while she's here yeah i mean for me i just try to keep the windows and doors open as much as i can when the weather is nice and even if it's like 80 degrees and my husband is sweating i'm like i need the fresh air and i mean he pays our utility bills so it's on him if he wants to cover that ac but i don't know i just i just love fresh air and it's cheaper it's free it is it is but i don't

40:53Elizabeth Ayoola:like the flies that come in my house with the you gotta have a screen oh okay fair fair fair

40:58Sean Pyles:Buy a nice screen. Don't be cheap.

41:00Elizabeth Ayoola:Well, our next post being read from the personal finance subreddit is from our creative producer, Shai Ronan.

41:07Sean Pyles:So I was talking to my girlfriend and she told me that she's sitting at about 70K doing nothing in a standard savings account. She's 27 and works as a teacher. She has a pension through IPERs and access to 403B, but no employer match. She doesn't have any other savings account yet. Here's what I'm thinking so far. keep about 20K, which is six months of expenses for her in a high yield savings account as an emergency fund, max out a Roth IRA for 2025 plus 2026, 14 ,500 total, and put 15 to 25K in a brokerage account and finally contribute about 15 to 25 % of her income in a Roth 403B and live off the extra savings.

41:47Sean Pyles:Normally, I'd say traditional contributions would be better because she's low income, but the funds are already close tax. I'd like her to max out to 403b, but that might be too aggressive for her and a big shift. I'm open to any other suggestions on how to put her money to work. Thanks. I really liked this post because it gets into so many questions around when do you give people advice, unsolicited financial advice, and when do you mind your own business? Even if you see someone who's maybe missing a bunch of big opportunities, what we would see is maybe low hanging fruit. What would you do if you were in the situation, if you were dating someone, they had all this money, just doing nothing in a standard savings account, and you see they could be investing it or maybe maxing out their retirement accounts and they're just not, how do you broach that?

42:34Elizabeth Ayoola:The honest answer is I'd be given unsolicited advice. I don't tell them exactly what to do, like what to invest in. And, you know, but I will put some suggestions out there, especially if I see red flags in how they're managing their money. I also direct them to resources like NerdWallet or YouTube videos. It can be tricky when you're in a relationship with someone, right? You want to help them and you want them to flourish financially. But I think you have to be careful and toe the line with telling them exactly what to do with their money. And I don't know that I would want my partner asking a whole Reddit community what I should do with my money either.

43:09Sean Pyles:I would be more upset about them going to strangers on the internet than just having the conversation with me. A lot of it comes down to who the person is that you're working with, what your relationship is with them, what their relationship with their own money is. Because if money is a big stressor to them, bombarding them with these ideas of like maxing out a Roth IRA and opening a brokerage account could cause them to just shut down or feel like you're imposing your will upon them, which could make a rift in your relationship, which is the opposite of what this guy wants, it seems.

43:38Elizabeth Ayoola:Yeah. But I mean, I'm sure the intentions are well because, you know, They could have been like, oh, do what you want with your money and I don't care. But obviously he wants to put his partner in a better financial situation.

43:49Sean Pyles:Yeah. So I'm just trying to think about what I would do in that situation. I think I would probably have had a number of money conversations before this one to understand their values and what they want. And then if I learn about$70 ,000, which is a lot of money, I want to know why that was in there. because to me that sounds kind of like money hoarding where they've just been saving, saving, savings as kind of a defense mechanism and not putting it to use as we would typically expect people to do. So you want to know why they're doing that and then how they can maybe use this money to help them feel secure, which I assume is why they have all this cash in the first place.

44:29Elizabeth Ayoola:When I think about that, I do wonder if they also have some fear around investing is one of them as well. Are they scared of the stock market? Do they not know what to do with their money? So they're just saving a whole bunch of cash. Do they think an apocalypse is coming? So they're like, I need to have as much cash as possible. It is important to know what their values are, especially before you give them financial advice and tell them how to spend the money, you know?

44:49Sean Pyles:OK, well, let's get to what the Internet strangers had to say about this one.

44:53Elizabeth Ayoola:This is interesting what someone says. Is she saving for a house or other large expense? If so, then keeping 70K in cash in a high yield savings account is not a bad idea. I don't know if that's great advice because you don't even know if she has enough in her emergency fund and then 70k and then also what's the timeline even if they do want to buy a house what if she wants to buy a house 10 years from now i don't think then a high yield savings account

45:15Sean Pyles:is necessarily the best vehicle for that what you just mentioned gets me to thinking about goals that's something that's lacking from this conversation too is what the girlfriend actually wants to do with her money over the long term maybe she loves just having a ton of cash around um yes i would love to see that in a high yield savings account instead of just a standard account, but maybe she has something that she's going to be putting this money toward like a home in the next year. Maybe she wants to buy a car. Just what does she actually want and how is her money helping her get there or not?

45:44Elizabeth Ayoola:I wonder if the poster even asked that or if the poster just swooped into action and was like, this is what you should do with your money.

45:49Sean Pyles:Let me mansplain your money to you.

45:51Elizabeth Ayoola:I didn't want to say it, but that's what I was thinking. Is there a little control happening here? Does she have a say in what's happening with her own money? Obviously, She has to execute the things on her own because they're not married. And I don't know. I don't know what their dynamics are. But yeah, I wonder if she's actually in control of her situation or if she knows what she wants.

46:09Sean Pyles:Because there's this assumption underlying this post that she doesn't know what she's doing and she's not being savvy when that might be the opposite of what's going on. He's just making these radical assumptions. OK, someone is checking the poster a little bit. They said, I'd start by recognizing that she is your girlfriend, not your wife, and to tread carefully when trying to advise someone you're dating about how to handle their money. You are not in control, and you should not be trying to be in control.

46:34Elizabeth Ayoola:You better tell the poster.

46:36Sean Pyles:Thank you, external self 1337. Great advice.

46:40Elizabeth Ayoola:That is good advice. Because I'm a proud feminist, I got to read this comment. Women, for example, have been telling each other to have their own savings in the event that their husbands suddenly trade them in for a new model.

46:52Sean Pyles:Like an OnlyFans AI robot girlfriend.

46:56Elizabeth Ayoola:You see, you're connecting the dots. You're connecting the dots. And then they said, since they aren't even married, the OP might want to just let things be the way they are.

47:05Sean Pyles:Mind your business.

47:06Elizabeth Ayoola:Mind your business and your own finances.

47:08Sean Pyles:That$70 ,000 could be just the most extravagant FU fund we've ever seen.

47:13Elizabeth Ayoola:If they're living together, she needs an escape fund in case, yeah, he decides to leave her for an OnlyFans model. I love how we're just making up all these scenarios based on this limited code.

47:21Sean Pyles:People are wild. You never know what people are going to do. Let's move things along here. We have one more post, and this is from the Henry subreddit, and it's read by the director of content marketing, Drew Prescott. Here we go. My kid is three years, three months old. His 529 just hit 70K. Assuming normal market returns, if I keep my contributions consistent, he'll have about$500K in nominal dollars when he goes to college. Maybe more since grandparents want to start their own account too. But they are flaky, so I wouldn't count that money. I want to pay for private college. How bad is the penalty if we end up with a few hundred thousand that isn't needed?

48:02Sean Pyles:So Elizabeth, you have a 529 for your son. are you going to have$500 ,000 in that account by the time I was 18?

48:10Elizabeth Ayoola:I hope not. That's way too much. There's so many other things we do that. As much as I love my baby, I want to live my best life too. So I might take some of that and go on a vacation or something. But$500 ,000 sounds great, but it sounds like entirely too much to be in a 529 account.

48:23Sean Pyles:Even if you're going to the most expensive private school, I looked into this and it's probably going to be about$100 ,000 too much, even for, again, a very fancy private school. In about 15 years, four years of private college education, which OP wants, would cost around$400 ,000 with the current rate of inflation, which is, again, a lot, a lot of money. But we don't know how much college is really going to cost in 15 years. I worry about what else they could be doing with that money. Does it all need to be in a 529?

48:52Elizabeth Ayoola:Well, the only thing I think of right now, I have one kid. Who knows? Maybe I'll have another one. I don't know. But the point is, we don't know how many kids this poster has, but they've said one or how many they might have. But if they were to have, let's say, another child or two more, you know, those funds could be given to another child. That's something that could be done with them. But I guess you don't want to plan based on what might happen. And we just focus on what's happening right now, which is that you have one kid. And some of that money could be better served in a brokerage account for that child that they can use in the future.

49:22Sean Pyles:And one really great benefit of 529s is that you can change the beneficiaries pretty easily. So you're right. It could go to another relative of some sort. And also there's been a big change in the past couple of years around the SAFE 2.0 Act where you can roll up to$35 ,000 from a 529 into a Roth IRA. There are a number of restraints around that. That$35 ,000 is a lifetime limit.

49:44Elizabeth Ayoola:And when you think of it that way, especially compared to what the poster has in the account already, that's not a lot, is it?

49:51Sean Pyles:No.

49:51Elizabeth Ayoola:Let's say you have$500 ,000 and the child spends, I don't know,$200 ,000 on college. they can only roll$35 ,000 out of the$300 ,000.

50:00Sean Pyles:And then you better hope you have another beneficiary lined up. Because if you take money out of a 529 for a non-qualified expense, you're going to be paying a 10 % penalty. You're going to be paying income tax. And you can avoid that by putting money into a taxable brokerage account or just an IRA, your 401k. There may just be a better vehicle for all of this money than the 529. I love what the parent is doing. They're looking out for their kid and also for themselves to avoid debt in the future. It just seems like maybe not the wisest decision.

50:31Elizabeth Ayoola:Or the poster could go to school themselves. Like, I don't know, 10 times and get 10 more degrees to spend the rest of the money.

50:37Sean Pyles:Yeah. Well, let's see what the Redditors had to say about this. I saw one comment that stood out to me for just being plain wrong. Someone said, I'm bullish on 529s over the long run and tend to err on overfunding. You can already put$36 ,000 into a Roth without penalty and that number will go up. Also, the qualified expense rules are already favorable and will get softer over time. So there's just a lot of erroneous information here. Just making stuff up. Yeah, it's$35 ,000 that you can put in. And that number is not tied to inflation. It's not expected to go up. There's nothing saying that it's going to happen.

51:11Sean Pyles:And there's also nothing to indicate that qualified expense rules are going to get softer over time. This is just made up. Jargon.

51:18Elizabeth Ayoola:You know, and that's why it's important. Even though if you like to put a Quran on Reddit, you got to go read. You still got to go read. Don't just take stranger's advice online. But listen, I know you're having an educational moment, but somebody said you need more kids, bro. Okay.

51:32Sean Pyles:They'd have to save maybe a lot more than$500 ,000 depending on how many kids they have. But yeah, they got to make it worth it, right? So with your 529, Elizabeth, how are you thinking about how much to fund on an ongoing basis? Do you have that number of, okay, IO is eight. So in 10 years, how much do you want to have in there? Is that something you've thought about?

51:50Elizabeth Ayoola:He's leaving my house in 10 years. And I'm crying and celebrating at the same time. Okay, no, but really, I just use a rough estimate. So first of all, I use the compound interest calculator. I believe there are ones for 529s that you can use to see how the interest is going to grow over time. And I also just looked at the average rate of colleges and tried to factor in some inflation. I did some girl math, but honestly, I just have a rough estimate. I think my goal is just to set him up for success the best that I can, right? So even if I was only able to save$100 ,000 for him to go to college, that's$100 ,000 less.

52:23Elizabeth Ayoola:That's a lot of money. Exactly. That he has to save or rather take out in loans to pay for his education. So my goal is just to save as much as possible because I have to save for myself too. I'm a late bloomer when it comes to retirement savings. I only started at 31. I'm 37 now. So I am still playing catch up in some ways. So I'm just doing the best I can with what I have.

52:43Sean Pyles:Yeah, I think it's aspirational to try to set yourself up and your kids up for success when it comes to college savings. but there's like a bootstrappy part of me that's like I didn't have a 529 so this kid's lucky to get anything that's right and I didn't either I told you my mom gave me an empty I love you mom

52:57Elizabeth Ayoola:but she gave me an empty pocketbook when I turned 18 there was no money in the account so I started

53:02Sean Pyles:wait did she literally give you an empty pocketbook yes I actually love your account details

53:06Elizabeth Ayoola:and but it was cute I think I still have it somewhere it's very sweet in a way it's like

53:09Sean Pyles:here's your beginning yeah from when you were a baby yeah this is precious pounds inside but hey

53:15Elizabeth Ayoola:sentimental nonetheless. So to your point, Ayo will be starting with way more than I had, and it will support his education somehow.

53:23Sean Pyles:Okay. Well, let's see what other random people on Reddit are saying about this.

53:26Elizabeth Ayoola:Someone said, I would just leave a 70K and stop contributing, then contribute the remainder into a brokerage. You never know where if they'll go to college. And while there are more ways to get the money now than before, it would suck to pull out hundreds of thousands of dollars with a penalty, to your point.

53:41Sean Pyles:That's true. And I just think about$5 ,000 rounds again is you can use them for trade schools so even if the kid doesn't go to college or a private school like the parent hopes i mean how much control do you really have over where your kid is going you don't right hopefully not i know some people i had a friend in high school whose parents wouldn't pay for any college at all unless they became an accountant and i felt very bad for that yeah meanwhile i went to some like hippie dippy liberal arts school and just have a million dollars in loans but hey worked out okay for me but you loved it i loved every minute yeah

54:11Elizabeth Ayoola:So I do like the idea of this commenter saying that you can put the rest into a brokerage account because that gives you flexibility. And while 529 accounts do have triple tax benefits, sometimes that's not the only way to save for college. You could put it in a brokerage account and you could still get that money growing and you can take it out without having to worry about penalties. And if the person does go to trade school or hippie school or art school or whatever else and doesn't end up needing all that money, they can still use it without having to worry about paying penalties on the money.

54:39Sean Pyles:Yeah, you want to find that balance of being able to fund what you want in the future while still being flexible no matter what the outcome is.

54:45Elizabeth Ayoola:Yeah, that's right. Okay, one short and sweet comment.

54:49Sean Pyles:Don't let it hamstring your retirement. That's what I think is missing from the situation, too, is we don't know how much they're actually saving. It seems like the poster has a decent amount of money, but that's just a huge consideration as well. Like you were saying, you need to look out for yourself so that you can have your funded retirement and not just be so hung up on what's happening to your kids. which of course is important.

55:09Elizabeth Ayoola:It is important. I think I try to focus a lot on how I raise Ayo as a person, trying to raise him to be a hardworking person, someone who knows how to manage money. He listens to the podcast and he's eight. All these little things to make sure that he can be self-sufficient and I can be confident that he can make his own money, even if he does have to take out a partial student loan. He's currently doing really good in track. If you see this when you're 18 and you get a track scholarship, good job, Ayo. So we'll work on scholarships and other things to make sure that he has as little debt as possible.

55:40Elizabeth Ayoola:Yeah.

55:41Sean Pyles:And one last thing I'll leave OP with, if they ever listen to or see this on YouTube, is to talk with a financial advisor. If you have$70 ,000 in a 529 and your kid is three years and three months old, you're doing pretty well. I agree. You can probably pay for at least one consultation to get some projections about where your retirement savings are going, where they will be in the future. Same with the 529. Just get a plan.

56:03Elizabeth Ayoola:Such a great point. I guess I don't think a lot about, even for me, using a financial advisor, even just for a 529 strategy or college saving strategy. It's a good point. And that is all we have for this juicy gossip financial episode. Remember, listener, we are here to answer your money questions and we want you to send them to us. You don't have to go and start posting in Reddit and let, you know, strangers answer your listener questions when we can do it here. You can call us or text us on the Nerd Hotline at 901-730-NERD. That's 901-730-6373. You can also email us at podcast at nerdwallet.com.

56:44Sean Pyles:Follow Smart Money on your favorite podcast app like Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, all of them. We're there. You can also follow us on YouTube if you want to see our gorgeous, gorgeous faces.

56:54Elizabeth Ayoola:And here is our brief disclaimer. We are not your financial or investment advisors. this information is provided for general educational and entertainment purposes only and it might not apply to your specific circumstances this episode was produced by

57:09Sean Pyles:test figland hillary georgie helped with editing eve kroegman edited our audio and video and a big

57:15Elizabeth Ayoola:thank you to nerd wallets editors for all their help and with that said until next time turn to the nerds

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