Charlotte Dawson on Motherhood, Messes & Marriage

0:00This episode is brought to you by Peloton. Break through the busiest time of year with the brand new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus. Powered by Peloton IQ. With real-time guidance and endless ways to move, you can personalize your workouts and train with confidence. Helping you reach your goals in less time. Let yourself run, lift, sculpt, push, and go. Explore the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus at OnePeloton.com. Coming up... The amazing Charlotte Dawson!

0:33I still never change I'm still the whirlwind Can I just point out There's about 45 suitcases out there There's carrier bags There's bags for life When you said you were bringing a couple of bags When we moved studios Always the bags for life Feeling sexy in a relationship is hard isn't it Especially having three kids Third kid I feel changes The body Oh it changes the body

1:04we're back we're back oh my god happy new year 2026 oh my god like it's so futuristic and we've moved house we have we're in a new home we are a new studio so comfortable it's lovely i feel like i'm really at home here like we i'm gonna wear my slippers for the next episode i'm not wearing heels anymore. That's a really good idea. I'm going to wear my pajamas. Dressing gowns. Oh my God, we should do that. Like bodily fluids. Oh, well, yeah, standard. Give it a wash. We should do that, especially if I'm carrying still a little bit of extra holiday weight. Yeah. You know, like I need to, you know, you know what it's like.

1:39January, gym. I'm going to leave with the stern and throw weights. Yeah, I'm going to do all that. Yeah. So yeah, pajamas would be very nice. Yeah. Yes. The thing is though, in January, it's like, right, I'm going to cut out the booze. I'm going to stop eating snacks. I'm going to be healthy and sleep more actually my house is full of booze still because although you drink a lot people buy you a lot and the chocolates for the kids how many selection boxes do we need? like too many are you doing dry January? absolutely not Louise no the thing is I feel that restriction leads to damage because if you're like right I'm not going to drink then all you think about is like I'd love a glass of wine all my friends are like I'm doing dry January I'm doing dry January.

2:23I'm doing it. And then every day I'm doing dry January. No. Did I tell you I'm not drinking alcohol? Well, my dry January is slightly different. It's dry white wine. Dry gin. Dry anything else that there is dry. This is why I love you, Louise. That's my kind of dry Jan. It makes us feel fresh, ready to start the year. 2026. New Year's resolutions. No, but my kids did give me a resolution for myself. What was it? this is from the daughter, my daughter who's six. She said, mommy, you should be a little bit more chill. Oh God. It's awful when your kids say stuff like that. It's nice, isn't it? Yeah.

3:01Where you just think, am I, and then you get really, I am chill. I am. And then she's like, see. Told you so. She's six. Do you know what I mean? Mind games. I feel that I just need to, in the nicest possible way, get through this year. You've got your show. I've got my tour starting. Oh my gosh. It's amazing. It's so exciting. But you have to remember, It's seven years in the making. This isn't like you woke up one day and was like, I'm going to be a stand-up comedian. You've been working on this for a long time. And I'm very proud of you. Thank you, Louise. I can't wait. It's so exciting. But you need it though, don't you?

3:32Because when you go back to work or when the kids go back to school and it's like all that excitement's gone. When you take your Christmas tree down, it's like you've just shaved yourself. Everything's gone. It's bare. And that's how I feel sometimes in January. When you see the dead Christmas trees on the doorstep. And you're like, that's exactly how I feel right now. I was nice and sparkly and twinkly and now I just look dead. And it's like, what have we got to look forward to? The next thing is Valentine's Day, isn't it really? Yeah. So we just got like about five, six weeks until that. That's the next thing.

4:06Save money, be skint in January. Yeah. Kids can be playing with a Christmas present, so. Santa's been, he's emptied his sack all over the floor. We're done. Did Santa empty his sack all over your floor, Louise? He did, yeah. Yeah. A lot of times. you shag how many times so you're not doing dry jan i know i'm not doing dry jan although i do have a story i guess my parenting fail which i thought i'd share with you today do it my daughter decided that she needed a new look image yeah um she wanted a haircut fine fine and it's only because her best friends just recently cut her hair like a bob and so now she wants the same thing but she wanted it like now like I need it now so I've got the kitchen scissors out and just and you've cut it into a bob yeah it's more of a lob yeah and how how was she what's a lob no what I mean lob I mean it's no it's more of a wob which is a wonky bob because a lob like a lob on is like a bone no a lob is like a long bob all right in Yorkshire I did not give my My daughter will love on.

5:19That would have been a surprise to everyone, wouldn't it? Just a little bit, yeah. And are you going to take her to a hairdresser's to get it? I probably should do, but she loves it. That's the main thing. It doesn't, you know, it's all right. She loves it. And do you use your kitchen scissors to cut like bacon and sausages? There was a bit of slime on the scissors. I was going to say, there's always a bit of slime on the kitchen scissors, isn't there? There was slime on there first. Is that gel, mum? No, it's just some fat from the back bacon. Don't worry about it. So me, basically, I've told you this story before when it was my husband's 40th, he got like loads of champagne.

5:50Yes. Right. I find like because we haven't been drinking as much over Christmas or like leading up to Christmas. It's like having half a bottle of champagne at quarter to 12 at night and then going to bed. You're like, oh. January is a great time to pretend you're doing dry January. And you're carrying it on until September. I'm going to carry it on until probably the end of September. And then guess what? Get me as much Prosecco as you want. Yes, exactly. Nice. Women do that though, don't they? They take Prosecco into hospital with them. My friend's a midwife and she said that they're like, you can't bring that in.

6:21And that's some women are just like, do you know what? I want to give birth. And just have a drink straight away? Yeah, one of my friends did it. Really? She took a little cooler into the hospital with her with two little glasses and a little Prosecco. Wow. And her and her husband just had a little toast. And it's like, you know when you set these things. That's quite nice. Yeah. I mean, if you went to the Portland, have you ever seen the program about giving birth at the Portland? Oh my God. I remember once I was presented. Oh, don't tell me because I want to have another baby just for that experience.

6:47Well, it's about 50. Well, I don't know how much. It's thousands and thousands of pounds. And basically, you get like a champagne afternoon tea after you've given birth. What? They do your hair. There's a salon. They take the baby and a nurse will like look after it for you. You know, like as you thought labor was going to be when you're younger. Oh, my gosh. Like that. That's what it's like. And they do your hair and makeup ready for a photographer come to take pictures of you with a baby. Watch the program on it, Louise. It was unbelievable. so when I was eight and a half months pregnant with Bradley I was presenting for the FA Cup for Manchester United at MUTV and I went to Wembley and I wore this red dress honestly I was huge I was a few weeks away from giving birth literally and Andy said to me he was like Hannah he was like are you sure you'll be all right to do this and I was like Andy I'll be fine like first baby you have no idea do you and I was in stilettos and everything and he said well if you do go into labour there's one of the stops on the tube it was at the portland and i said i'll stop there and i'll give birth shall i and he said yeah if you go into labour let's do it and honestly i remember sitting there presenting this program trying to push a little bit thinking i want the baby to come out because i want to go to the portland and have an afternoon too and i'll give him birth i didn't like he was he was a week late but it was um how much is it i think it's like between 12 and 15 grand oh gosh to like have a baby how long are you there for like a month like a night okay yeah but they had like super rich people would like hire the floor out and wow insane floor yeah so then you get all your family come and stay but can you imagine giving birth and not being in a room where there's other people that are like i know you're short baby all right hold on can you hear me at my phone signal do you remember you laid there and there's like a bit of cling film between you and the person next to you horrific it's it's awful it's awful it's awful yeah like just just talk on the phone you don't need to put everyone on loud speaker like steve i don't give a shit what you're having for your dinner tomorrow no and that you need to speak to auntie janice about how many stitches your wife's just had like i can hear everything and people are arguing across cubicles shut up yeah the baby there was a woman on the cubicle next to me and she kept shoving um like because all my kids have told you i have to have they were bright orange and yellow when they're born like blooming david dickinson so all of them have had to go under the lights for jaundice like really high like annabelle was in intensive care because hers was so she nearly had a blood transfusion oh my god and it's to do with my blood um type not matching theirs or something anyway the woman next to me kept shoving past them in the little incubator thing and oh my god you know when you've got the hormones kicking in and she kept talking to somebody really loud and i was like excuse me like literally and i thought she pushes that cock all the time i was gonna go into a rage oh yeah i mean so angry do you find now that you're a mom you didn't realize you had this extra power on anger and adrenaline like if anything anyone goes near my yeah you literally turn into this like something i've never even experienced before there was this one incident um where when i lived in london i we lived in a flat like in the basement flat and there was a house party going on uh two floors above us and this one guy got the wrong house he came to our flat oh god and couldn't get in like no one was answering the door he thought no one was answering the door because no one could hear the door because everyone was having a party um but little did he know that there were children asleep in the house yeah he was trying to open up my son's bedroom window and he was he actually managed to do it but we had bars on the window because it's a basement flat in South London.

10:28And the absolute wave of I'm going to kill and I'm going to protect. And I went out looking like a mental woman in my dressing gown. In a shotgun. And I was like, get away from my house. Like crazy. And this man was terrified. Yeah, I bet you was. Terrified. And then I didn't stop there. I then went up to the flat where they were having this party. And I was like, I must have had a wooden spoon and like just going mental. and like they were all just like i'm really really sorry we didn't know i didn't like i would have i kind of wanted someone to almost like fight me i was like i will go we'll fight isn't it crazy that when you say to you i always say to my kids like you know um i'd fight a grizzly bear for you it's your animal instinct as well is to fight back and to defend yourself you that actually just comes naturally you can't help it sometimes it's actually embarrassing though because i'm thinking if they're 16, 17 and there's a fight, I'll be like, get my heel, take my heel.

11:27They'll be like, oh my God, Bradley Logan's mum's a psycho. Keep away. Eczema is unpredictable, but you can flare less with Epglyss, a once monthly treatment for moderate to severe eczema. After an initial four month or longer dosing phase, about four in 10 people taking Epglyss achieved itch relief and clear or almost clear skin at 16 weeks. and most of those people maintain skin that's still more clear at one year with monthly dosing.

12:18if you have new or worsening eye problems. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with EpGliss. Before starting EpGliss, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection. Ask your doctor about EpGliss and visit epgliss.lily.com or call 1-800-LILY-RX or 1-800-545-5979. Today, we are absolutely thrilled to have the most amazing reality star on our show today and her baby, first baby on the show. You've all been asking for her. It's the amazing Charlotte Dawson! And Gigi! Shake your bloody titty bangers She's here How are you babe? Tips and teeth darling Well I'm tips and teething through the absolute chaotic day that I've had You can see that we've actually been evicted We've been evicted from our previous studio It's one I'm going to give you to mama I want to eat on a chip butter with loads of gravy I think you're going to have to go outside aren't you?

13:11There's a dummy Bye bye Bye bye Bye baby you have three kids under the age of what five can we just say you look fabulous I know you said you've had that in the last chaos like 48 hours but you'd never know you've got fluffy boots on a mini dress I've had to put my sides on because I'm hairy I'm a hairy Mary I've actually swapped my hugs for these boots honestly they're so comfy and they've got a little bit of a platform which I love a bit of a wedge. I love it. So we've just met Gigi who seems like the most perfect baby. Oh my God. So chilled. Like so, so chilled. So happy. She just got passed around the entire studio.

13:55Just like, yeah. She's just not asked. I mean, you've got to fit in, haven't you, the third one? Yeah, I was going to say, I think that comes with having more children. Just winging it and having, because I obviously kind of know what you're doing. I think you should know what you're doing about the third one. Yeah. I felt the most confused when I'd had my third because it was like, I think I just went through the motions of the first two. when the third came because I had two boys and a girl and she was different to them. And I remember thinking, oh my God, I can't really remember. I don't really know what I'm doing.

14:23I didn't even know how to change a fanjita even though I've got one. I was like, what do I do here? I know they're very specific. Yeah, it's random. You've got to get right down there. They can get infections if you don't wipe properly. And I remember saying to my husband, because we had two boys and a girl, I was like, if you give her an infection, I can't imagine. I know, that's mad. but we finally got our girl didn't we our little hums and it's so fun dressing them up like even Gigi's little outfit I am obsessed with twinning and matching everything's got to match I mean I'm like that with the boys to be honest I just prefer it I think it looks better on a picture coordinated and Matthew's always the odd one out he's like I'm not doing it so obviously if I get the matching PJs I'd be asked to just wear them oh god yeah we did that just go on Christmas like matching PJs.

15:14My eldest 13 was like disgusted by it but we did it. You've got to do it though. You've got to do it. You've got to do it. I know, when they get to 13. no, he's like, everything I do is disgusting to him. Although, he's very much like, can I come on your podcast? But I think he wants to come on until he gets out of school. That's exactly it. They're not smart. It's smart thinking. They're always thinking ahead, aren't they? Little shits. And how, they'll be shits. And how would you say you've changed from this time five years ago to now other than other than birthing three humans like how do you feel within yourself do you feel like a different person do you feel more content do you feel more sleep deprived talk us through it i still feel absolutely f***ed honest to god if i'm completely honest like i'm still never change i'm still the whirlwind crazy just i said to my mum when we were on our way down i said mum i've actually packed light i've packed a little suitcase with me and gigi in can i can i just point out there's about 45 suitcases out there there's carrier bags there's bags for life when you said you were bringing a couple of bags when we moved studios and we're like okay now the train's cancelled it's all hectic it's all right hon we'll just wait for you and then she rocks up like she's like she's just been shopping to aldi for the christmas food shop so just yeah carry on always the bags for life always literally I said mom why didn't you put all your bags in a suitcase she went I just prefer it didn't you say she's got a load of sandwich bags in her bag as well she loves a sandwich bag she's got all the tablets all the lip glosses all the makeup in a sandwich bag and she always cleans my bags and put sandwich bags in it's hilarious I know she's so cute but it was hilarious because honestly I am genuinely always late for everything but today I was on time I'd got the kids ready for school nursery and obviously I was it was chaotic obviously the night before because our car broke down yeah so Matthew didn't get in till four o 'clock this morning oh gosh so you can imagine so I've sorted all like my friends to take Noah to school my friends to take Jude to nursery oh god and then he gets up and he's like i'll take him i'll borrow your mum's car i'll take him i'm like well i've just sorted it's another job i've got to do and i'll get to ring her anyway so anyway i got this taxi because we thought i'm gonna order a taxi to the train station because you know if me and my mum are she was driving we'd end up being late so we get there get there at quarter to nine already i was just like i'm just gonna go and book my mum's train cancelled i thought no that's just not right i was like i'm here on time why is the universe doing this to me it's just like saying that you're just probably punishing me but you're here now you're here the most important thing is you're here and it's nice to see all the different studios that we have here it is it's very very formal yeah it is we're in a library

18:15it's very posh but i yeah i love your instagram i love it i love yours and i love your instagram you're so real and it's hard not to laugh because you just show the chaos as it is and we always talk about this don't we where mums are just like i had a balloon arch my daughter's birthday and then everything's so like staged when actually you're just like right this is how it is yeah this is me like it or not yeah um but i can't believe that you said in the past you've had like a bit of criticism or you get criticism from people that like look at your stuff and then and And then what? Oh, they're awful.

18:51I mean, it's just ridiculous. I mean, I've had, I mean, I get loads of love, but it's one of them, isn't it? Like we all get loads of love and then we just always see the negative, don't we? Yeah. If it's like one negative, like it stands out from all the thousands of love and you're like, it's really frustrating that though, isn't it? And it's like. What's the worst that's happened then? Because you were telling us some stories before we started. Yeah, so obviously a lot of my followers obviously know the backstory a little bit that I've had social services ring me for four years. It's just crazy really because obviously I literally just got thrown into motherhood.

19:26I was like lockdown, I was in lockdown. So it was just, you know, a crazy time for all of us. It was like we were in some sort of weird horror film, wasn't it? Yeah. And then I got this random phone call. Noah was about five, six months old. and they just said like social services have right it's obviously somebody's rang about you they've reported you're saying that you're always drunk I was like but I'm actually not like I'm full-on breastfeeding and I've changed my whole life I've said I'm locked in a house yeah and and obviously it was just really weird how would that how would what they just made up a load of lies and then a couple of months after that I got the same phone call more or less the same sort of things and then this just this obviously just continued for four years but obviously it always happened every time I was pregnant or ready to give birth oh my god yeah it was horrific honestly this is awful oh my god it's it's horrific I've been through hell with it so but I'm like well so then then the police got involved and was like well why are they ringing you then because they're distressing you if they don't but the but they have to do that it's their job they obviously you know, they kind of have to do that, obviously.

20:38I get that. Because I think they go to like, I keep calling it HSBC. HMRC. No, not that f***ing one. That's what I can think of. What have I got to do with it? There's another one. Not paying your taxes either. It's the NSPCC. Oh, the NSPCC. Yeah, the NS... Definitely not HMRC. No. Or HSBC. We don't want the HMRC. Tax fraud. Tax fraud. No, absolutely not. um the nhs nspc yeah the rspca what are we doing here the asap this is how much like it's just absolutely so this she said to me i've got to ring you because the nspc some bird watch outside your house

21:29they've been in touch and it's child abuse and i'm like what the f*** child abuse are you all right But that's what annoyed me. I was like, just come round and see the situation, see the setup. Like if you really think. But obviously they were just, they got really upset, social services. And they had my back so much. And they actually rang the police for me because they knew how busy I was. And they were like, Charlotte, you need to ring the police. I'm like, I'll do it tomorrow. And at this point you didn't know who it was? No idea who it was. But the worst thing was that when I had Gigi, Matthew filmed the whole berth for his perfume page.

22:03Got his followers up. Great marketing. My hanjeet is on. Smells lovely. My partner's minge absolutely stinks. But when you spray this, it'll get rid of the odour. I see what he did there. It just makes sense. Oh, God. Great marketing. Yeah, it's great marketing. Like and subscribe. It was so funny, honestly. It just happened so quick with Gigi because it's third one. Yeah, the low out. I was like, will you get a video to the midwife? And her head was literally there. So he pushed her. She was out. This bloody KFC bargain bucket. F***ing hell. There was more trolling behind that. So because he filmed it and put it on, obviously she saw it, the person, and tried to ruin that magical moment that I've just had with my baby girl because she wanted to get me done and she wanted to get the hospital done.

22:58And then the midwife was hilarious. She was like, have you not watched One Born Every Bloody Minute? love yeah like everybody films the birth what you on about yeah i filmed mine just in case this person is listening to this podcast is there anything of course you're listening you're obsessed is there anything you'd like to say that's what i'd like to say

23:20you need to be watching this on youtube to see what charlotte just did that was absolutely brilliant she just gave us a good flash yes that was brilliant absolutely love that and you know what laughter is the best medicine we've we've talked about that it really is and like you've definitely got the genes from your dad yeah and it must just be in your bones i'm glad that i got the funny bones yes yeah dad's an absolute legend i know i need love you too because you're amazing what do you call women comedians comedians comedians are you gonna go to hannah's show yes yeah so he's going to hannah show what do you mean my touring have you not got a ticket no I need a ticket get me on VIP on VIP hun I need to know I need to pay so it's annoying that and it was just get me at like panto when I used to do panto man well just buy a f***ing ticket love yeah oh I feel you bad now because I've asked you for a few minutes no when you when you no when you soul sisters yeah we are when you soul sisters and you're like bestest friends and you know like when you work colleagues and everything fine I can't pay for it if you want me to no you know you know what I mean don't you it's like it's like friends of her friends of her friends of her friends yeah and you're like and then you feel really bad because you're like oh god i'm friends with kelly i'm really bad i would give anything to anyone i'm so bad everyone knows that it literally just goes charlotte and my kids are the same oh mommy i'm like so would you say like out of you and matt are you the kind of is matt more strict are you more like more chill i mean i'm one of them that's just like you know that like a it's like a normal mum where I just get we get very stressed and we're like oh yes and we get really upset that we've been like that and we're like oh why did I you know what why did I react like that but I'm very like more like very chilled and lenient how like they just I just have them all with me and like he's yeah he's very he's very good with them but he's he's quite strict he's like I feel like if I told them off they'd laugh in my face yeah if Matthew told them off, they'd listen.

25:21Yeah, no, that's a hard way for us to think, yeah. So what's that like? What are you, are you the like me or not? So I'm the strict one. Yeah, so I give the look. Sexy and strict. But then when I tell them off, they just, if I grit my teeth, then it's like, I'm being really serious. But 95 % of the time, I just laugh. So if I say, don't do that, you're being silly, you're starting to annoy me now, that would disappoint them. They would feel bad, so then they'd stop. Whereas if they were being really silly and I'd just say, stop, then they generally they will um but there's been a couple of times when my husband's like right if you do that again i'm gonna tell mummy i'm like no you no no no i say that to you so that then like when you come in from work it's like i'm gonna tell your dad yeah yeah i'm gonna tell your mum oh i'm gonna tell her and i'm like don't do it like that it has to be the other way around um again like i think if i tell the kids off they're just like that whatever you don't actually but I have tried something new which I feel like really gets through to them instead of me kind of doing the usual like raising my voice a little bit and like you know if you don't do this little I know like especially to my youngest the um who's six I will I will get down to her level and I kind of I kind of get really close to her ear and I'm like if you do that one more time and I do it really slowly and calm and then she's and then she's like I don't know what's going on here so I'm going to listen and it does actually work well we'll see next week I don't know but this week it worked I read a thing it's kind of like a bit of like a I might try that with you yeah it was night it's like you fucking do a lot of good no that's what I'm all I gritted my teeth the other week when my tooth came off oh did it oh you did it that badly is that from anger yeah it's from anger oh wow who did you grite your teeth at was that your kids or your partner yeah my kids well both of them I was brushing my teeth to be fair and it just came out.

27:15I was like, it's like a comedy sketch. I was like, why has that just come off? I do grit my teeth a lot, so it must be. It's a thing though. Like my dad used to do it. I get really angry. I know I grit my teeth. Oh, okay. Like if I get angry. Yeah, what thing would you say you and Matt disagree on in parenting? Or things? Everything. More the doing so much. Because I always feel like, because Noah is at that age now. He's four and he's like asking me every morning what we're doing today, where we're going, who we're seeing. I'm not being funny. I used to go to Asda with my mum on a Saturday, right?

27:56I used to go on a Friday night with my mum. That's what I mean. It's the highlight of my week. It's the highlight of our bloody lives, right? These kids don't know the chuffing bomb. I totally agree. I totally agree. We talk about this all the time. It's so frustrating because it's like I've got to plan something. I feel like I've got to plan something. I mean, you look at Instagram and you look at Facebook and you look at whatever and you're like TikTok and you're like, oh my God, I'm not doing enough. And that is the worst thing about social media because it's an amazing tool for businesses, meeting people, reconnecting with school friends.

28:32But you hated at school anyway. Yeah, well, I went to three different schools, got kicked out. But then they asked for me back. I said, p*** off. Wow, really? You mad me. That's brilliant. Yeah, because I got excluded, I didn't realise.

28:49Because I just didn't want to go to private school. My mum really wanted me to go to private school. And I wanted to be like my best friend that went to a normal school. And I was like, I just want to be like her. And my mum was like, no, your dad would have wanted you to go to a private school. So I was like, for f***ing sake. And then when I got my inheritance, I f***ing paid for it all myself. I ended up paying for my whole school fees I asked mum she went well yeah it paid for education I said well I got the f*** all out of it I don't need it I don't need it thank god but actually I got an A star in art and an A star in drama obviously so I'm creative but yeah it was really funny because they asked for me back and I said I'm sorry I've gone to a new one now and I was like St Trinian's at this other school because it was a really small school and I just got in there.

29:40I literally f***ed it up. I was like, let's get drunk. Let's put fake tan on. Let's wear makeup. And then when I left, they were absolutely gutted. I was like, I'm so sorry. I'm on to it next now. I'm on to it next. I'm about to violate the next private school in the area. I know. All the girls are going to be tearaways by the time I finish. But they all loved it. I bet they did. I feel like they had a new Lisa life. Oh, God. It was like literally like wild child. I'd love it if you were at my school. Yeah. I'd love it if you were at my school. That would be so cool. Oh, yeah. I just didn't want to listen, actually.

30:08And one of my teachers said to me, I'll never forget this. It's really funny. He said, you'll just end up working at McDonald's. He's my science teacher. I'm bloody science. And I was like, okay, mate. Anyway, I ended up working for McDonald's. Did you? Doing a post. I'd love to get some free chips and free double cheese, extra cheese. No gherkin. Absolutely. Oh, come here, you. Stop having. so having a baby over the last well like six seven eight months ago last year last year was a bit turbulent for you very yeah talk us through it yeah we all know don't we if anyone read the news last year well yeah it was awful and you know obviously he was just absolutely heartbroken he said he didn't mean it he was drunk and it was really tough because obviously we broke up for a couple of weeks and it was hard when I was pregnant because I was like what do I do yeah yeah of course I need to burn one minute sorry and it's such a serious chat um to break break the break the stigma the silence um but yeah it was it was a lot it really was a lot sorry I'm not laughing I know I'm just like I'm trying to like like you're pouring your heart out here and then try and dance like that it was just there better out than in so how did you yeah how did you like overcome that yeah it was it was awful what obviously come out but you know he has been a completely different person since it all happened and he has changed everything around and he is an incredible dad especially to the boys yeah They always just come into their own.

31:52And he'll admit, if he was on here now, he'd say, I come into my own when they're two, which is fair enough. And to be fair. And a lot of dads would say the same thing. I do, yeah. Really would. Babies, we grow them, we feed them. We feed them. Birth, whatever. And it's my first mom was like. Well, we love babies, don't we? Yeah, we do. We just love babies. As soon as we saw Gigi come in the studio, we were both like. You can imagine men would be like. Yeah, they'd be like, no, no. Past me, like a tough knot or like, you know, like a little kid that's like three four and they want to be like thrown around yeah you know what i mean yeah yeah so true and like they can speak and they can play with them and stuff like that i think i feel like that's but he's amazing he loves gg like gg's face lights up when she sees daddy i can imagine yeah now that i've met her i can totally imagine yeah and his face lights up as well and it's it's lovely to see i think it was really weird when all this happened because i was I really hope it's a girl so you realize that you need to respect me.

32:47Yeah. No, but it's a point though, isn't it? Really? Yes. Yeah. And he has changed everything around. And we are, the thing is, it's really tough because we don't sleep in the same bed. You know, he sleeps with Noah because we, it was my fault. Obviously, everything's my fault, isn't it? It's one of them. It's like, well, you wanted him in your bed because I did. And Matt kept saying to me when he was obviously a baby, he was going, you need to put him in his own room and I was like I just can't it's lockdown it's my first baby I want him with me he's nibbling on my bloody orders all needs and it's easier to feed him because I just stick him there yeah yeah god it feels like years ago like millions of years ago that he's only four because I've had that many it's really sad because I feel like Noah struggles a little bit because we're not as close he's very close to his dad they're like thick as thieves and And, you know, it was just me and Noah.

33:43Like, Matthew was always at work because he used to do plastering and rugby playing, and he was, like, always busy. So it was always just us, you know, in lockdown, and it was just, like, the two of us. And now it's, like, I feel like I can just see sometimes it gets a little bit, like, yeah, it's a bit sad, really. But then he's got two more siblings. And the dynamics change where actually... You just get mum guilt. You never go. The mum guilt never goes. It's just there the whole time. All the time. And I don't think there's no such thing as dad guilt, is there? Well, absolutely not. Like, honestly, a woman's brain and a man's brain.

34:18Like, can you imagine if we went inside? He'd be like, oh, I need a s***. Yeah, yeah. When am I going to get laid? Oh, have I had a s*** today? Yeah. And like a woman's brain is like... Have I had a s***? Oh, God. Like the woman that he goes to sleep like that. Oh, my God. It drives me mad. It drives me mad. And I'm there going, I've got to do this, got to do this. or the tabs are open. Oh, the tabs. I get the notes on my phone. So I lay in bed and I'm like, right, I need to think about this tomorrow. Like, did I do the bags? I'm just going to go and check on Annabelle and make sure she's comfortable in a cot.

34:52Then I get back into bed and all I can hear is... And I'm like... Well, I don't have that problem. I'm on my own. I'm not... I used to hate being on my own. Yeah, but when do you do Rudy's though? If you're in separate rooms, how do you work around that? And you've got three kids. Well, we're lucky obviously because Jude's in... nursery like four days a week and Noah's at school every day yeah so when he comes back from work or whatever just somebody it's hard isn't it yeah and Gigi's asleep we just have to find the time you have to book it in nowadays yeah you have to literally book it in I love when it happens naturally though oh it's lovely it's lovely when that happens but I mean on his birthday Valentine's Day is next month so you know we'll be putting out it'll be I'll tell you what mine does though it goes what with the tongue I tell you what if somebody looked at me like that I'd be like wow I'm so so funny he's like come on come on I'm like come on be a bit give it something a bit better than that love I get turned on by by chores done around the house.

36:05Oh, same. That's the biggest turn on. Matthew is a good cleaner, to be fair. But I mean, he does it like twice a month. But when he does it, the house is spotless. I'm like, why do you do that every day? Because I'm a slitherer. I'm a slow girl. We're not talking about sexy stuff here. No, no. I was wondering about cleaning. Do you like it a bit slow? I love it. I don't know so much about you today. I do like a bit of slow sex though, if I'm honest. Making love. Because, you know, some of them just want it. Yeah. Yeah, I think, yeah, feeling sexy in a relationship is hard, isn't it? Yeah. Especially having three kids.