Feeling frisky while pregnant & parenting fails | No Parental Guidance

0:00Now before we get into today's episode, let's have a little chat about National Thank a Teacher Day, this year supported by Tesco. It's all about celebrating those teachers and support staff who do way more than just teach. The ones helping kids grow in confidence, settle into routines and somehow locate Oscar's missing jumper. Tesco recognises the important role teachers and support staff play. So when you thank a teacher, their school could benefit from Tesco's free fruit and veg for schools programme and also be in with a chance of winning£1 ,000 Tesco Fruit and Veg Grant. And we'll be asking today's guest all about the teacher who inspired them, along with all the usual parenting chaos.

0:38Enjoy the episode and remember to get those thank yous in before National Thank a Teacher Day on the 17th of June. Head over to our Instagram where you'll find a link to the website. Coming up, the police said to her, what's the emergency? And she said, I'm pregnant, I'm horny and I'm sorry. I'll never forget when we tried for a baby and it was like right this is your fertile window I phoned Andy I was like Andy you need to come home for work now and he's like okay so he came around and then he was like Hannah I've read that you afterwards you've got to lay on your back and you've got to like as if you're riding a bike with your feet I was like okay and I was there doing my feet like I was riding a bicycle and then he got up and I was like where are you going he was like well I'm off to meet Tom for a burrito and then he just left

1:28welcome to no parental guidance i'm hannah and i'm louise and we've got another round of confessions from our parenting frontline but before we get into our listener fails and confessions let me tell you something that happened to a friend of mine oh dear um a friend of mine was heavily pregnant and lived very close to me and she messaged me one day saying can I come over I've done something I'm worried and you know when you know that your friend's heavily pregnant like of course like get the towels ready yeah like of course come over and so she came over and I was like what's wrong and she said she's like you know when you're really horny when you're pregnant.

2:10I was like, okay, so everything's fine, fine. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I was horny when I was pregnant. She's like, well, I was really horny and my husband was at work and his laptop was around. So I started watching some porn. I was like, okay. And she said something flashed up on her screen that said, FBI warning, what you're watching is extremely illegal and we're watching you and blah, blah, blah. And I said, all right, well, what did you do? She called 999. The policeman said to her, what's the emergency? And she said, she went, I'm pregnant. I'm horny and I'm sorry. And the policeman just said, that's not a crime.

3:03And then they said to her, look, it's a scam. And we don't actually have the FBI in this country. And so they said, just take it to like a tech shop and they'll be able to fix it for you. So the next day, her husband took the laptop to like the local IT tech shop on the high street. And he had to take one for the team and pretend he was looking at porn. Yeah. So when they fixed it, the porn came flashing back up in the shop. and her husband's there just like this isn't the kind of porn that I watch but the irony would be there's like 10 policemen with her truncheons out and you know the poor the poor girl they're like this was her parenting before she's even become a parent but bless her she was absolutely mortified and I don't think she's watched porn since but I bet she has but because we know the person in question i think she probably has but did you get horny when you were pregnant because i certainly it's such a mixed one because some people like oh i was just so horny yeah um there were some days where i was like oh i felt a bit friskier but it was a bit like i put three stone on and my belly was massive yeah so if anything was going to happen i was going to be laid on my side with my pregnancy pillow underneath like yeah or like a seal from behind yeah yeah yeah literally yeah Yeah, that was the only way I could do it.

4:26Why, did you find you were super? With my first, I was really horny. Were you? I mean, really horny. And Jesse was a bit like, oh, I might, you know, I'm worried. I might ruin the baby. I'm like, babe, you're fine. It doesn't go that far. It's not that big, babe. No, I mean, it just doesn't go that far. Oh, right. Sorry, I thought you were going in a different direction. But no, it doesn't go that far, does it? It's like, you know, he said, is that why kids have dimples?

4:53I mean. No, babe. I think he was joking. But no, that's not why babies have dimples. It's not from a penis jabbing. No. I'll never forget when we tried for a baby and I took this medication to get pregnant. And it was like, right, this is your fertile window. I didn't know there was like immature sperm and geriatric sperm. So you had to get the sweet spot and do it the right amount of hours between the last. Wow. Yeah. And it was all quite technical. So I phoned Andy. I was like, Andy, you need to come home from work now. And he's like, okay. So he came round and then he was like, Hannah I've read that you afterwards you've got to lay on your back and you've got to like as if you're riding a bike with your feet I was like okay so he went and got a towel put the towel down and I was there doing my feet like I was riding a bicycle and then he got up and I was like where are you going he was like well I'm off to make Tom for a burrito and I was like oh okay where's the intimacy there and then he just left and I was just there doing bicycle yeah and I did get pregnant that time with Bradley yeah you go yeah brilliant um but yeah that was my little experience of um like trying yeah it was it's a weird thing because if you don't try and have it scheduled then it's quite a nice relaxing thing but it's almost a bit of like oh right we need to try now and then trying to do that around a window if you've already got a kid oh gosh yeah it's like right put Peppa Pig on quick yeah yeah quick no yeah I wasn't I wasn't particularly horny in I I think my third one, I think it's because I was f***ing exhausted.

6:19Yeah. I wasn't as horny. I'd love to know what listeners have to say about it. I would love to know actually if they were horny or not. Because there was also a bit like, look what you've done to me. How dare you? Yeah. Like, don't touch me. When your boobs are all veiny. Some people love being touched. I didn't personally like being touched that much when I was pregnant. Did you like strangers touching your tummy? So I never really experienced that. I know some people say it's like, oh, people come up to you and touch your bum. I do ask permission first before I, if I see a pregnant lady, I do say, can I touch your tummy?

6:54Yeah. And I'll say yes or no. I do. I love feeling a pregnant tummy. I love it. But some people like hate it, don't they? Some people hate it. Yeah. And some people hate touching it and some people hate being touched. Yeah. Of course, everyone's got their own preference, but I'm always like, can I touch your baby? It's lovely. I bet your friend loved it that was watching porn, didn't she? You don't mind asking anyone to touch her. I'm going to phone the police as they come around. Can you imagine though, just to go back to that story, because I just can't get this vision out of my head, of like Kev on the desk at the local police station.

7:24They'd be like, f***ing hell, we've got a woman here. She's watching porn and she's horny. She's phoning the FBI or something. I do wonder if I was hornier with my first because I was growing a penis inside me. So does that extra testosterone, does that make me, does that make it, like, whereas with my daughter, I didn't feel as horny I don't know if that's if that's a thing see I think I thought I probably felt a bit hornier with my daughter okay than my son so maybe not then but then it's like you know is there an element of you know my husband kind of like after having our third baby like really stepped up in terms of he's he was doing way more I think your first baby were a bit like what is that the second one it's like okay we kind of have an idea then we had a bit of a gap and then had our third and then Andy was like do you want me to empty the dishwasher oh that's that's quite horny in itself and then he's like do you want me to like put the bins out I'd be like oh my god yesterday he was like do you want me to take the boys to get the haircut the barbers and I was like that is so helpful for me and then I was thinking I'd love to have a fourth kid with you and he's like no we're not doing it but I'm like I feel like we're getting to that point now where he's, you know, his behavior's changing.

8:35Nice. I think there's something going on. Does he want to get some? I think that's all it is, yeah. He's after some Rudy's. Yeah, his IOUs. That's really looking like that, babe. His IOUs from the last 17 years. Can I cash one of these in? All right, Hannah, should we get into it? Let's do it. We've got some great fails that are coming from our listeners. Right, so, hi, ladies. I think you're both fab and are absolutely hilarious. Oh, that's so lovely. I have a whopper of a Parrington fail. I love you already. Me too. My son has just turned one and we're starting to walk. My husband was out playing golf for the day.

9:06Of course he was. Of course he was. And I was at home doing the chores. Of course you were. I took my son upstairs with me to change the bedding. And while I would change the bedding, he likes to be thrown into the pile of duvets and pillows on the bedroom floor. Side note, my winter duvet is a massive duck down feather duvet, which makes for a soft landing. I was thrown into the pile backwards and then decided to throw him face first, thinking he'd find it funny. Anyway, I did it and he started crying and started limping on his left leg. After many calls back and forth with my husband, I trusted my gut and took him to A &E.

9:40Oh my God. Oh my God. Only to find out that he had a compression fracture. Oh my gosh. I'd only gone and broken my child's leg. Oh my God. I wasn't expecting that. Cue ugly crying for a month due to guilt. I'm happy to say that he's a happy, thriving four-year-old boy. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. Oh my God. Can you imagine? I feel so sorry for this woman. I feel so sorry. Oh, wow. Wouldn't you feel horrendous? But I also wonder if she got questioned, you know, like questioned by the hospital. Like, how did this happen? Do you know what I mean? That's, bless her. Oh, bless you. Like, I'm not laughing at like, oh God, he broke his leg.

10:18But I'm laughing at the thought of like, oh, come on in. And then the baby, like the kid going, laughing. And then I wasn't expecting that. I thought she was going to say like, he fell on like a bit of a, I don't know, actually. I wasn't expecting that. I thought that they'd look down and think, Jesus Christ. I mean, I'm glad he's okay. This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a 50-page restoration block, or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks.

10:50Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online make sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required, compatibility and availability varies 18 plus. I'd like to say you're not the only one, but you might be on that one. I don't know. I want to send this mum a huge hug, massive bottle of wine, maybe some Valium. Maybe like a crash helmet and some elbow pads and knee pads for her kids. And I doubt she'll do that again. And anyone listening, maybe don't, maybe don't do that as well. But bless her, that must've been horrendous. Sending you a massive hug through this podcast.

11:27I'd be scared she's going to crunch my bones if she hugs me back. I love how many we get, by the way. Thank you, everyone, for sending them in. They're absolutely brilliant. Keep doing it. Keep doing it. It's nice to know that we're all in this together. Yeah. Right. Hello. Wanted to share my recent parenting fail. I'm in a supermarket. My potty-trained three-year-old was sat in the trolley. He was wiggling around as we were walking around, and I asked, do you need the toilet? He kept saying, no, no, no. So obviously, I didn't push it. We carried on shopping and he shouted, I need the toilet now!

11:59I go into full panic as I wasn't actually sure where the toilet was. With various looks from people, I scooped him up and ran through the self-checkout. On the way there was a bucket, which I think was a bin for receipts, which my toddler stopped to try and stand and wee in. Oh, bless him. That is stressful. Especially because as a parent, you're like, do you need the toilet? Before we start, you try and be really organised. eyes you've got everything in the car and then you think you go to the supermarket if you don't take that nappy bag in with you or with a change of clothing it's like you need that pretty much until they go to primary school like my friends laugh at me now and they're like why have you still got a nappy bag and it's like because my daughter's in nappies oh so she's two and she's two and it's like she you know if your kid's himself i've got you covered exactly don't you worry about it yeah and i remember bradley um i'd done that whole do you need the toilet do you need the toilet there's a toilet here and they're never halfway around the shop it's either you've got to go at the beginning or then you have to go the whole way around the shop through the tills then back to the beginning so he was like I need the toilet and I was like okay let's go to the toilet so we were running back and he was like it's gonna come out so I was like it's fine just hold it I was like squeeze your bum hole really tight squeeze it squeeze it like a pelvic floor muscle squeeze it and then we got to the desk and I was like oh excuse me could you just direct me is the toilet's over there and she was like toilets aren't working and I was like okay I was like do you have a staff toilet and there was a staff toilet just saying she was like we can't let the public in there and I was like would it be possible just on this one occasion my son's about to himself could we just use that toilet and at that point I looked at Bradley and he's like and I was like he's doing it so we stood there and I was I was I didn't know what to do I felt like I stood there and just stared at him and watched him just poo his own pants and it felt like that was which is what he did it was like a five minute thing and do the face as well and then And I just kind of, yeah.

13:53And then I just picked him up and I left my shopping. And I was like, well, obviously I'm not going to get that. And I just carried him out to the car. And then I had that to do. And did the lady see you do that? Yeah, she just stood there and watched the whole thing. But she's like, you can't use. And then she was like, well, he's done it now. Oh, crikey. And I was so embarrassed. Yeah, well, it is embarrassing, isn't it? Yeah. I think the kid doesn't really care, do they? Well, he was really upset because he's like, it's really hot, mommy. Oh, yeah, it gets hot. It's like molten. I was like, well, you're not going to have to f***ing clean it in the car, are you?

14:20So I just, you know, stand there and then it's trying to scoop a pair of pants down the legs without it scuffing. It's awful. And then because they're not eating like liquids, it's solid. No, it's like actual poo. It's offensive. Yeah, it is. My daughter is now, we've started doing, when she says she needs the loo in a public place. Yeah. restaurant or you know if the if the loser nearby i say okay you can go by yourself and i let her go by herself yeah mainly because she says it all the time and i feel like i'm and it's a game and then i'm constantly going to the loo with her and she does nothing so i'm like you go by yourself and i'll just stay here um and then she managed to lock herself in the toilet oh no and this was actually at our local football club and the toilets there are not nice they're not nice the floor is disgusting there's everywhere there's mud everywhere so I had to it's one of those toilets where you have like the gap underneath yeah so I'm on the floor you're not I'm on the floor and I'm sliding underneath and I can't quite get under but I'm sliding oh Louise and I've got my hand like up there going just just do this just do this undo the lock and then as I'm on the floor lying in and mud and disgusting makes me want to gag as I'm lying there trying to open up the door for my daughter who's loving it by the way this lady comes in and she's like I follow you on Instagram and I'm like well this is my life and want to help yeah so now I don't do that anymore I'm just still taking to the loo because I just thought you know what we're not ready we're not ready And did she just kind of go?

16:04She, I think I actually, she knows how to do it. And like looking back, I'm like, did she do that just because I wouldn't go with her to the loo? And then it took longer than normal in the loo. So then I'd go in. Yeah. And mummy, I can't get out. So that you panic. You have that false sense of security though when kids are like, do you think, do you know what? I'm going to give them a bit more responsibility. Like on holiday, we said to Bradley and Logan, right, the toilets are just there. Do you want to go on your own? Because I was having a glass of Savvy B. so I was like go on and they said oh I was like just wash your hands after and they were there for ages so my husband went in and they'd got all the napkins and you know on holiday they'd sort of like folded them they'd put water on like half of the napkins out the bucket and they were soaking and my husband came out and he's like for god's sake right you're not you're not doing that again and then we got another glass and I was like right you can go one more time this is it though if you don't do it properly and then they're okay but they just want that independence don't they do they do but even my 10 year old he was like this lady says and have fail you know when your kid needs to go to the toilet because they do the whole fidget thing yeah you're like do you need to go to the loo no no i'm fine they're like this do you need to go no i'm fine my 10 year old does it and then i'm like sunny go go to the loo yeah and he's like okay so we'll pause the tv we'll all stop talking and freeze time just so you can go and have a wee before you wet yourself yeah so i I do feel for that lady because that is not fun.

17:28My husband did that before he proposed to me. He was like really fidgety. And I was like, Andy, do you need a poo? And he was like, no. I was like, do you need a wee? So he's like, yeah. So he went and weed in a bush. And I was like, you all right? Because we're having this romantic dinner on the beach. And I was like, are you okay tonight, Andy? You seem a little bit. And he was like, I'm absolutely fine. He was like, I'm just going to try and wee one more time. And I was like, bless him. But that's an adult. And then he proposed to me. I was like, oh, that's lovely. I literally nearly p***ed myself.

17:56Yeah, literally, you p*** yourself on me. Right, so the next fail. We've got, hi there. I love the podcast. We love you. I'm listening all the way from Wales, Pembrokeshire. I thought I would give you my parenting fail slash wife fail. Now, I'm happy for you to share it, but please, may I remain anonymous. Absolutely. Oh, God. Right, so I'm a mum of four kids. Wow. 10, 8, 4 and 6 months. Wow. So I thought it was a great idea on the weekend to get the kids helping out cleaning the car. So that's all great. I promised them a stop on the next journey to the shops for sweets. So we're all happy filling bags of rubbish.

18:32I was popping in and out of the house trying to feed the six month old who's teething and having a screaming fit. Later on, I came back out to find my eight year old son daring his four year old little sister to eat and taste all the dirty crisps and random food off the floor in the back of the car that had probably been there for months. Not to mention the long forgotten drinks bottle of which I didn't even know was in there. That had now turned to slime at the bottom. Oh God. I don't know about you. How would you say the standard of cleanliness and hygiene is in your car? Oh, well, my husband calls it been on wheels.

19:11Does he? Yeah. And are you bothered by that? No. Yeah. I'm really not. I used to be really clean and I used to get my car cleaned a lot. And now I'm like, you know what? On Dumb and Dumber where they've got that dog van where they just throw hot dogs and food. I pick kids up from school. They have pat lunches in there. If Annabelle's screaming, chuck a biscuit. I'll get croissants from Costa or whatever and just whatever. And I'm like, I've got three children and they eat en route to clubs. My husband can't eat in his car. Oh my God. Jesse's the same. He has stripes in the footwells. He has more respect for the car than he does the house.

19:50Yeah. And I'm like, can you have this cleanliness in the entire house? Yeah. Because we went on a road trip, drove to France, and Jessie was like, we can't eat in the car. And I was like, we have three kids and we're driving for 24 hours. We are eating in this sodding car. So, yeah, no, I mean, honestly, I do. But also, I do wonder because this woman's got four kids and they're eating food that is old. You know what it's like after a few kids are like, yeah, that's your lunch. Yeah. So you won't be hungry then. Yeah, exactly. I mean, it depends how bad it is. That's dinner sorted. But for kids, that's impressive.

20:23That is seriously impressive. You can just imagine the older one, that is 10-year-old and the eight-year-old with a four-year-old going, double day to eat that. Oh, yeah. Just eat it, you'll be fine. And the thought of, like, I don't know, if you said to me that those crumbs or those biscuits are in your car, I'd be like, are they? Oh, that would be from four weeks ago. Yeah, no idea. Do you ever get into like other parents' car, like mums, and I go, excuse the mess, excuse the mess. Yeah. Sorry, sorry, sorry. and you're like, mate, it's the same. Yeah. It's fine. Every mum's car, generally, if there's a mum out there that's got a clean car, then hats off to you.

20:55Because mine is a s*** tip. Right, moving on. Hi both, loving the podcast. Thank you very much. Got a parental fail for you that I thought you'd enjoy. We're five months in, so I know there will be many more, but this one makes me smile. We were at Centre Parks enjoying our first family swim with our 10-week-old son. We were also on poo countdown. At this point, our baby was very regular. Bobbing around with him, I felt the eruption underneath. No leakage because of the brilliant nappy trunks we had, but obviously we made it out. As we all know, with swimming nappies, there is only one way for it to go.

21:32Downwards. He was covered in it. At this point, my husband revealed that he's taken the spare wipes out of the bag because he didn't think we needed them. What? Why did he do it? Cue frantic, economical wiping of the baby's legs and wrapping him in a towel to sneak him right into the corner of the showers at centre parks to try and get him clean. Mortifying. But my husband learned a lesson that day. Spare wipes are always needed. And I learned to never let him pack the bag. It's awful, isn't it? When you see new mums with babies and it's like you're trying your best and you think, let's go swimming because that's the right thing.

22:11We should all go to baby groups. we should all go swimming we should all go for walks and we should all be out in coffee shops and look like we've got our shit together but most of the time you just want to be sat at home with your shits out like no snacks oh my god 100 % that's what I did I think I said this before I'm pretty sure I have with my first I was like he has to learn how to swim he was three months old I was like he has to go to swimming lessons he will learn Mandarin and then though he's only three weeks old we'll take him to a group to learn sign language and he can't speak we did sign language as well for crying out loud it was ridiculous there was one time my husband and I went away with the kids and my eldest was three and then we had a six-month-old and we went to this lovely place in the Cotswold and they have this beautiful hot tub and what I wanted to do was just sit in the hot tub and under the stars and then we let our three-year-old come in.

22:58You thought this was your run club era. Turns out it was more of a thinking about run club era. The good news? Someone's marathon training is about to start. Sell your workout gear on Depop. Just snap a few photos and we'll take care of the rest. They get their race day fit and you get a payout for trying. Someone on Depop wants what you've got. Start selling now. Depop, where taste recognises taste. And he just, you know, before there was like this floating turd just going past me. And I was, and Jesse was just like, no, I'm not going in this hot tub now. and he fished out of the poo and we were there for the whole weekend and he refused to get in the hot tub for the rest of the weekend whereas I did I was like I'm going in this hot tub yeah and so I was in this hot tub relaxing with like floating bits of turd like being in labor isn't it yeah basically was yeah basically was but I yeah and we still remind our son of that story because now he's 13 and we still go back to the same place in the Cotswolds and I'm like you in here and ruined my holiday and he's like mom shut up I'm like it's fine it's a nice memory but Yeah, they do relax in water.

24:10Somebody said to me, I forgot a swim nappy when we're on holiday. So I've got the disposable ones and it was wet and I left it in the room. And I was like, oh no, what am I going to do? And a woman said to me, just get a normal nappy and you just pull out the insert. You can actually, if you pick it properly in the corners, you can just take it out. And she was like, that's your nappy. That's all you need. And so she was like, you don't need to go and buy actual swim nappies. Just get a normal nappy and take the. That's really interesting. You know, the part that swells up to make them look like a Mitchell-O-Man, one of those.

24:40And I was like that, and it worked. Did it? Yeah, it did. It worked. There you go. Top hack for you. Right, okay, moving on. Oh, my God. Parenting fail alert. Just listening to a podcast with David Gandy when he spoke about his daughter having a wild wee, and it reminded me of a parenting fail I wanted to share with you two amazing ladies. When my son was new to potty training, he went out to the park and he didn't have a nappy. He did the urgent mummy wee wee. Now look and I thought, okay, I'll have to do a wild one. We went over to the corner of the park for him to do a stand up wee, but he is one of these little boys who was always attached and holding onto a toy and he was in the Hot Wheels phase.

25:20Oh yes, Hot Wheels. He was holding his Hot Wheels car and in the urgent wee panic before he wet himself, I didn't take the car out of his hand. Anyway, he started his stand-up wee but then put the Hot Wheels car into the stream of wee which then caused the spraying weed to bounce off car and all splat back all over my face. It was in my mouth, all over my glasses, horrific, what a fail. Oh bless you, yeah there's nothing worse than swallowing your child's wee or poo really is there. But you always wonder in those moments, how did that just happen? Like, how was I stood there in that moment for that?

25:58Like, if somebody said to me 10 years ago, one day you're going to be stood in the corner of a park or whatever, and you are going to be covered in piss. You'd be like, that'll never be me. And here we are. And it always is. The amount of stories we have about pee and poo is, you know, is brilliant. I'm all for it. I remember my son doing a poo in a park. He said he needed the toilet and you always say, is it a wee or a poo? And you think, please be a wee, please be a wee. Yeah. And it was a poo. And he pooed by this tree and he was really proud of it and was really loud. He was like, mom, look at my poo.

26:36He actually went, it looks like Africa. And I was actually really impressed that he knew. what africa looked like he was like four or five and uh the next day he wanted to go back to the park and find his poo and look at it again he was really proud of it uh but i was like no no there's no poo here by that point another kid had probably eaten it so yeah oh god that's begun yeah right so we've actually got another parenting fail it's from l the midwife i'm excited oh my god i'm excited it didn't happen to me this is a story that happened to one of my students right i wasn't on the shift and I would have it would have been hilarious to be on this shift so on this is on a delivery on a birthing unit and my student was like third year not far off qualifying so they kind of leave her in the room he drives outside just let us know if you need it yeah so she the mom gets in the pool and that she said the dad said oh can I get in and she was like yeah yeah if you want at some point to get in and get in so he was thinking about it she pops out comes back in and the dad's in the pool but you know think so no well nobody's seen anything at this point so the mom's kind of on the dad's lap the dad's kind of sat on the stool in the birth pool and she's kind of sat on his lap but it's been realized an hour goes by he's giving her a massage i think it's fine anyway a few minutes later the student pulls the emergency bell right so everyone you know what it's like everyone starts coming in right and they're like what's a matter and she was like it's an arm presentation it's an arm it's not

28:07one of the consultants was coming because we don't have doctors on birthing units but one of the consultants was coming past which is boys he's like quick on lip in so we just went everyone out and she's like no no no there's aren't he said everyone out everyone that said to the mom don't worry you're good it's fine fine so she goes out and the student went no no there was an arm He said, that's not an arm. That was a penis. So there was a man naked. With his winky out in the birthing pool. In a birthing pool. Oh my God. How embarrassing for that. But good on him. If they think it's an arm. I know.

28:39I know. But the wife was happy. Oh my gosh. Oh, that's awesome. That is brilliant. So funny. Imagine the consultant going in and be like, we got another wiener in the pool. Did you, would you let your husband in a, in a birth? Did you give birth in a birthing pool? I did. Yeah. All three. I went into the pool and it slowed my head. Did you get it going with you? No, because I kept f***ing in the pool. Oh, yeah. The student midwife got sicker with a fishnet. She got the bag for life of my arsehole by the end of it. Yeah. He was just like, I don't feel that I want to get in there with you. Yeah.

29:09I'm okay. I'm okay. Yes. I think looking back, I would have liked Jessie in there with me. But again, I was pooing. Like, Jessie described it as like toothpaste coming out. It is though, isn't it? Which isn't that attractive to get into water. well that's it for our parenting fails this week love them as always i love them and guys please like subscribe share spread the word for our podcast no parental guidance it's a place safe space for you to feel seen and heard tell us all you gossip we love it no judgment here ladies see you next week bye See you next week. Bye.

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