Genevieve Turley on Her IVF Journey: "Chop my arm off, I just want a baby"

0:00Coming up, please welcome Genevieve Turley. Woohoo! Can you just talk to us about makeup and stuff because we're all a bit looking like ball bags. In my 20s, I looked rank. I was tall, I didn't know what to wear. I was just experimenting all the time with hair and makeup. I'm broad, I've got no waist, I've got no boobs, I've got no... People often think with IVF, you know, God, it must be awful to have to inject yourself daily. God, I don't know how you do it. And you think, oh my God, stab me with a thousand needles. Like, I don't care. I want a baby. Chop my arm off. We were very much of the mindset, if all we get is our daughter, then we're the luckiest.

0:42Yeah. Sorry. Oh.

0:53You know, we love a good chat here on No Parental Guidance. Oh, yes. and now we've taken it one step further. We've gathered some of the boldest, most outspoken mums online and trust me, they've got thoughts. Big opinions, hilarious takes and absolutely no filters. It's fiery, it's fun and it's our brand new show, Pick a Side. Every week we throw down a new parenting debate from gentle parenting to screen time and our mums have to, well, pick a side. So if you love a bit of drama and a lot of laughs, Head over to No Parental Guidance on YouTube and watch it now. Oh, Louise. Oh, darling. How are you?

1:35I'm all right, yeah. I've got quite a few fails today. Were they your fault or not? Yes, all of them are my fault. I was at the football, my son plays football on a Sunday morning. We're on the sidelines and this particular day, like it was a pitch that we're not used to and there was a playground that you could see, but it was like a good five-minute walk away. And my daughter was like, I want to go on the playground. And I was like, well, I can't. You can't go there because then I have to go with you, but I want to watch the football match. So I gave her my phone just to be still and to not run away.

2:13And I forgot to bring, you know, colouring things. Like, I forgot to bring stuff for my daughters. But you had your pom-poms. My pom-poms ready, yeah. so I gave her my phone and whilst I was trying to put on Spongebob on Netflix on my phone just to keep her entertained I missed my son's goal oh god and everyone was cheering sonny that was an amazing goal did you see that and I missed it I mean I was really annoyed with myself because I just thought you know he doesn't score that often so when he does it's a massive deal Yeah, yeah. And he was like, mum, did you see that? And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I saw that.

2:54I didn't see it at all. And then there's this kid on the other team who was really quite aggressive and he was marking Sonny. Who is his mum, Louise? Well, I mean, I can usually hold it together, but I just went, who the f*** is this kid? His mum was literally there. Yeah. and she just turned to me and she went, that's my kid. And you know, we had like this stare off. Oh my God, really? And I was literally like... You just flared your nostrils at me, Louisa. That's how angry I was. And then she went, I follow you on Instagram. And I was like, oh dear, thanks so much. Let's never hope there's going to be a reel about you next week.

3:43And then it was just like, it's fine, it's just kids playing football. Thanks for the follow, like and subscribe. How about you? How's your week been? Yeah, good. I've had a good week. I've had like quite a few gigs and stuff recently. So trying to keep on top of like parenting and the house and that's been quite difficult. But last week, this is a bit of a fail. So we have had a job in London and I had to get from one location to another in a taxi. And it was really hot outside. Didn't feel great. I don't travel very well. Like I've spoken about my kids getting travel sickness. We are just literally a car of bile when we go on a family trip.

4:23It's disgusting. So I've said like my parents used to hook the handlebars, the handlebars, used to hook the handles of carrier bags over my ears. And for some reason, before I'm about to be sick, travel sickness, I don't know if this is a thing, but my hair goes really static. So I'm literally like hair is up here and I'm like white as a sheet, like about to vomit. And I was in the taxi last week and the driver was so lovely chatting to me and he was like I'm really sorry but like I'm don't don't be concerned I'm just gonna vomit into this bag that I've got that I take around with me um because I was I've just got a bit of travel sickness and he's like do you want me to stop but what was really weird is he turned the music down and I like oh because that's gonna help oh god he's like turn the radio down I can't concentrate but I didn't need to concentrate while I was vomiting so I was like thrown up into this bag but he was like he better staring at me through the mirror and I was like looking But what I found is I was like this.

5:23I shouldn't laugh. I shouldn't laugh. I'm sorry. And it looks so rude. With your static hair. With my hair on end. It was like the porn show he never asked for. I'm telling you. And then I got to the train station. All the trains were cancelled back to Loughborough and Logan had his school play. And I was like, no, this cannot be. So basically they said for the trains, like the tickets are just void now any train you can get on the way you need to be just get on it so I was like this is where like my mum mode took in I mean like Logan was child 23 in the play he didn't get the main part or anything there's like 26 kids and he's child 23 so he had like two lines but he'd practiced anyway the trains were cancelled I managed to get on a train and I was stood with this man's armpit in my face for like an hour and a half fun had to get a taxi and then it stopped in Leicester so I had to get a taxi from Leicester to Loughborough which was like 40 minutes and then I got there with one minute to spare and um they were serving wine like a glass of wine which I thought I was like oh I'd love a glass of wine and then this lady gave me a drink but I thought it was like elderflower so I went in like shovel past people and I thought oh they said I'm so thirsty so I started gulping I was like oh god it tastes really strong this and Andy was like babe you just necked a glass of wine I was like I was like no it sells a flower in it he was like it's a hundred percent savvy bee you've just you've just sat down everybody's looking at you just neck this wine anyway what I found myself is I don't know if anybody else does this but I'm looking around at the other kids and I'm like how come they got the main part over my son oh yeah oh I'm like Logan could hit that high note I reckon Logan could it and I'm like what is the matter with me just like let the kids be um I think but I think you're right I think a lot of parents um might yeah probably relate to that be like well they're and my kid can actually act yeah what is going on it's like my son could be in an episode of EastEnders if he wanted to be like who's that what's your mum and dad on the PTA hey oh yeah yeah your parents a teacher in the school and you go to main bar and I found myself being like and I was like I don't know if it's because I'd necked a glass of wine and I was really late and hadn't eaten most of the day and vomited in the taxi.

7:40I think you had a bit of a day yeah. Yeah it was a day. And it's the panic and the rush to get there you kind of want to see like your kid being like this you know and I'm sure he was brilliant. I mean yeah I mean it's all right like he's just like two lines couldn't hear him anyway but I think the hardest thing sometimes as like when we're talking about the like I'm doing my tour and like you're super busy like every mum is busy whether you have a job or whether you don't have a job, it's busy. And the thing that I've spoken to a few moms, it's like you underestimate how difficult that stress is when you're running late to get to pick your kids up.

8:16So whether it's like the trains, canceling, then I'm like, oh my God, I need to get back. It's like 60 quid in a taxi. And I'm like, just have to, just get in the taxi and it can't miss it. Or like when people have got - And there is that panic, like fear. Yeah. Like utter, like sweating. And also the running. I've been in many situations where I've had to run for a train. My pelvic floor is not what it used to be. Oh, Christ. And I have actually ended up like peeing myself a little bit and wearing jeans that show it. You know, it's like, great. So I've just b***ed myself and I'm arriving to the school late.

8:47I stink. Like everything is bad. I wish my school served alcohol when I arrived. Yeah, well, I didn't realise that's what it was. But I mean, it went down a tree. Well, yeah, I was going to get on the stage and join them. I was having a great time. Oh, no, good. Yes. So proud of you. From the high pressure wards of the RAF to the bright lights of Instagram, our next guest spent the last few years turning the chaos of motherhood, beauty and ageing into hilarious, brilliantly honest content. She's a former burns and plastics nurse, now a makeup artist, viral content creator, a mum and a good friend of mine.

9:22So please welcome Genevieve Turley. I tried so hard not to look at you. I was like, don't make her laugh. Don't make her laugh. And then you were like, I'll take that intro. And I have to say, we did put on our Instagram stories, like what guests would you like to see on the show? You came up top trumps. Shut up. Shut up. Serious. Really? Serious. Oh my God, I'm honoured. Well, we're honoured. Thanks for being here. So we'll talk about parenting fails and stuff, but can you just talk to us about makeup and stuff? Because like we're all a bit looking like ball bags. Yeah, I will know. Honestly, we were just doing a quick spruce before we came on and these guys were like what what's that we literally were staring we've actually stolen some products from you yeah screenshotting things what's this one do can we have this one what's that yeah you were like this is the hydration mist you know and we were like is the what what when do you put that on louise's got a bag full of your stuff that you brought sorry sorry not sorry but i guess you know that's you are you are a makeup artist i just influence all the time You are influenced.

10:23It just comes from the influence. But I want to go back to the start because you were a RAF Burns and Plastics nurse. Obviously. Can you just tell us what did your day look like? So it sounds quite fun, doesn't it? But really, you're just nursing. So there's no military hospitals anymore. They haven't been for a really long time. So you're always nursing amongst the NHS folks. You just wear a different uniform. You're under a different management, essentially. so I'm under the MOD the other nurses are under the NHS so your day-to-day is the normal nursing shift you know I remember when I got into the Air Force and I'd finished basic training and things and then I was working at Peterborough Hospital and my mum called me and she was like are you okay I was like yeah are you in you having a nice time yeah it's fine mum she's like you don't sound happy are you happy and I was like mum I'm just nurse I'm just nursing I'm still nursing so I was already a qualified nurse when I joined and she was like oh oh are you and I was like what did you she just thought I'd be running around you know field commando rolling camo paint I mean that's what I feel like you you did yeah that's what I thought when the ways of the intro training yeah I know this is what I mean it sounds a lot sexier than it is I mean make it up yeah just just humor it was for me I mean I didn't enjoy being in the military one way to say is I was in for like what seven eight years I never once went on an aircraft no there were circumstances so when you join the forces as a nurse at the time because afghanistan was still open you as a nurse you had to do a rotation so we had to be able to do women's health we needed to do a bit of paediatrics because obviously in a war zone children could come in so we have to be able to do stuff like that so we had to do this rotation so that took a year and then after i did that there was a burns card that came up which is basically you had to um interview to become a burn specialist because they're then going to pay for you to go and do this training yeah so I then went through that process and then I went back to university for 18 months right so then I'm not deployable that was when Ebola happened so I was okay about that oh darn it I can't go out there um and then and then I was um trying to get on the IVF register I can't remember what you even call it so then I was asking to not be deployed at that point because obviously I wanted to be available for IVF treatment so it just didn't really ever amount to anything but I would have liked to have done more stuff I just yeah it just didn't happen for me.

12:56And when did you start IVF or how did you know that you would need to have IVF? What point in your career? I was so I was a specialist nurse and we've been trying so I was about 28 and I think we started trying and I knew and I'm going going to tell a few cheeky things but I'm just going to be really honest about it I my mum had three children no miscarriages no problems when she wanted to get pregnant she got pregnant straight away my sister three children when she wanted to get pregnant she got pregnant straight away no miscarriages that the chances of that yeah are tiny right it's very common to have miscarriages we know but so I just they always say don't they that you're like your mum and your sister it sort of follow suit and and all the women in our family have been no problems making babies so when we'd been trying for about eight or nine months I knew I was like something's not right here so I went to the GP and I told a little fib and said we've been trying for 18 months yeah so they basically just said right you're going to go off and get tested and it came back that there was some issues um on Rich's side uh which is obviously very common and yeah so then you then have to just wait until IVF treatment can start.

14:07I'll tell you what I do remember. I remember seeing the specialist and I remember saying, I know how long is a piece of string, but roughly how long are we looking to wait for treatment to start? And he said a couple of months and it was such a flippant remark. But of course I was like, right. So take that with a pinch of salt. So let's say four or five months. no it was easily going to be a year and so he was really wrong to have sown that seed always over egg with you know that's a common thing you always over egg to a patient you never underdo it you always go that's what i was it's interesting to hear what um what you were talking because we had to have a bit of treatment um and i'd take clomid medication yeah and it was very much like i saw this specialist and then he did all these tests got my husband to like have a a tommy tank and then it was like the medication was given to me that day and it was a bit like oh but wait I think maybe we want to kind of talk about this like have more of a discussion because it's quite a scary thought that when you say you want to have a baby but then the time frame is put on it and during that time frame did you think even more so like I really want to become a mum or did you get a bit fearful of knowing you were going to have to have treatment um people often think with IVF you know god it must be awful to have to inject yourself daily god I don't know how you do it and you think oh my god stab me with a thousand needles like I don't care I want a baby chop my arm off I want a baby you know it becomes everything and every you know people go oh well don't worry you've only been trying six months you think six months is half a year six months is a lifetime you know how much that costs unclear blue pregnancy tests it's such a flippant comment and I know people don't mean but to to hurt your feelings in that way but it's a month is a lifetime when you're trying for a baby it really is and so yeah the IVF thing it was really hard your first round is sort of they say this is kind of us just working out how your body works because everyone's different and what drugs you need because they have to be very careful because that I can't remember what it's called if they make your eggs enlarge too much too quickly that can hurt you damage you and stuff so they go very steady and easy and so what happened with me is they were like you're not going to have any issues you're going to have loads of eggs and so I started having these drugs and I had to drive an hour away for each of these appointments and so obviously I had to keep leaving work to go into these appointments which my boss was like not loving right and I kept going to these appointments and they were like yeah everything's going in the right direction brilliant and then I remember going for another appointment and they did the scan you know up the and I looked at the screen and then the lady went I'm just going to get a colleague and I looked at Rich and I said it's gone they've gone smaller they're shrinking and he went no no no don't be saying I went they are she's just gone to get a colleague because they're going smaller we're regressing this isn't going right at all and he was like no no no it's fine it's fine she came back in they were like you've regressed we don't really know what's going on so um then I was put in this position well we were put in this position where because it's an NHS treatment it costs a lot of money and the drugs are really expensive and surgery is really expensive so what they had to say to us in that point is we need the consultant to check your bloods as they are now so we need to take your bloods you need to go home we're going to call you later today and tell you what the consultant wants you to do you've now got to make a decision if he says we want you to carry on treatment I need to give you a bag full of drugs that are 500 pounds if the consultant says we're not going any further you've essentially now spent three grand of your budget she was like what do you want to do and I just said I'm not going to take the drugs I'm just going to go back to work so we had the bloods I went back to work called my sister my sister's a doctor and mum as well so she was just like bless her she was like I don't know how you're doing this because I'm not all right because I was just being really sort of like this is this and this is this so Rich went back to work I went back to work and then at four o 'clock I got the phone call saying yeah you're the doctor said your estrogen is not in sync with where they thought it would be and now you're about to spike so he needs you to come and get your meds now and we close in an hour and it takes me an hour to get there oh my gosh so then I had to be like I've got to go I've got to go so I just got in the car and then I got there and they'd locked up the whole hospital they were stood there with the bag of drugs and they were like go go go go thank goodness thank goodness anyway we then carried on and you have to keep going in for your scans to check how many eggs you've got rich did his thing then you have to go home and you have to just let them cook so then each morning you have to call up and find out are there any still there so bearing in mind your body has to be in sync with them to be transferred so it's all this time like i can't tell you how stressful it is like the timeline your body has to be react in the right place these eggs have got the you know these embryos it's awful so each morning each morning we're really sorry you're down to four next day we're really sorry you're down to three got to friday and i had and this is december now and we had two so on friday they were like you've got two monday we need you here at 8 a.m to transfer oh my god so that weekend we went to like a garden center i remember we got the christmas tree and i got two little things and i was like these are i you know represent our embryos and they're a little like christmasy robin and a christmasy something i was like these represent our embryos whatever and then on the the monday morning i said to rich on the way in you need to prepare we both need to prepare ourselves that we're going to get there and there's there's there's no surviving embryos and he was like well why would they let us come in I was like they won't give you bad news on the phone and I want to talk us through it and make sure we're okay so we need to prepare ourselves that this hasn't worked and then we got there and the consultant just went you've got one and that was our daughter oh my god I literally just got shivers oh my gosh we were beyond fortunate oh my god that's such a wow a beautiful story thank you so much for sharing that well I think it's what what happened when I was going through IVF there wasn't Instagram sharing stuff online there none of my friends had gone through it I felt very alone even though I talk very openly I know a lot of women were going through at the same time but they were so private because I think they felt shame or it was just emotionally too hard to talk about it um it maybe I don't know I don't know what people's reasons but everyone was always so private and um and I was like god I just want to talk to someone about this because this is a big deal and people often say like oh you had to have fertility treatment and it's like so was there something like wrong with you or was there something wrong with your husband and it doesn't matter and I'd be like well I've got endometriosis and polycystic ovaries so the problem is with me but I just feel like that's a question it's one of the questions that people will always ask what's wrong what's wrong why do you need to have this medical intervention and actually it's really hard to make a baby yes and it's really It doesn't matter.

21:41The fact that you have that one embryo and that is now your daughter, that's beautiful. Isn't that crazy? I think that's just wonderful. And then I have to ask because your kids are very close together. Yes. How close? Right. 17 months. You were straight back on it, girl. Straight back on it. Well, you know when you've just popped out a baby and they come around and they're like, contraceptive, contraceptive, contraceptive. I was like, oh, swish past me because we can't go. we'll have to go private next time which will cost us thousands and thousands of pounds so we're just gonna just carry on trying you know so don't bother giving me the contraceptive chat but we were very much of the mindset if if all we get is our daughter then we're the luckiest yeah sorry

22:26oh like oh you know and i remember um chatting to a mum um you know one of these mums groups and she was struggling you know as we've all done at some point and I was sort of just saying everything can I help you with anything you okay and she was like no no it's fine it's just really hard isn't it but it's really fine and she went but you know I'm I'm really lucky I'm really lucky and I just went you had IVF didn't you it's that I'm very lucky I'm very I can't possibly complain yeah because I'm so lucky and she looked at me she went how did you know and I was like because you feel guilty for saying that this is hard and I said how many rounds 10 wow she had 10 rounds of IVF to have her baby and you know oh my god I don't I don't think I could have done 10 rounds that is one hell of a woman and I don't think she perhaps realized mentally how incredible she is because that just the one round sent me like especially when you go through all those components of it the hospital an hour away the phone calls every day checking your level like science oh my god but also i think the the mental roller coaster as well yeah of turning up to the clinic and being told again sorry there's there's nothing here i mean you're actually people should talk about this more and there's absolutely no shame in it and when we had trini on didn't she have like 17 rounds or something yeah and then like oh just yeah it's what you have to go through physically as a woman and your hormones but then you also think what your partner's going through trying to support you and your hormones are everywhere but equally they're like really desperate for it to work as well and what they have to go through and that's a lot of couples struggle when and they do offer counseling you know which we were lucky I don't recall that being particularly tumultuous for us you know obviously we've had our highs and lows throughout our relationship but that wasn't i don't recall that being one of them to be honest with you and we just cracked on trying and it happened and it happened yeah so you didn't say after you the pull out technique you were just thinking you're safe and you're like we were actively oh you're like yeah we were just saying that you're really fertile after you give birth yeah that year after having a baby so we we were like let's just really go for it and then how did feel then after your first journey of IVF to then find out you're pregnant and you could just well I was a bit shell-shocked what you are obviously incredibly grateful to be pregnant but I remember I sat there for like 10 minutes just going and and our daughter was rolling around the floor and I was like but I just did it and my husband was like are you happy and I was like yeah I am but I just did it like I've just done it yeah she's right there I've just done it yeah that's really close in ages seven and eights which is 17 months apart yeah and bearing in mind i just left the military i've completely given up all maternity all career we were doing a massive renovation i was we were very worried about how the hell we were going to now navigate this because yeah it was i love i love the fact that you're like no honestly like i'm actually pregnant i remember when i had logan and bradley there's like 22 or 21 months between them and um i i wasn't feeling great and andy was and we'd use the like the pull out technique and um and andy was i think you're pregnant so i i get really nervous and embarrassed buying sanitary towels tampons never buy condoms or um or pregnancy tests so i went to tesco if i if i went and bought some sanitary towels i'd wrap a magazine around them and take them to i get i don't know i get so I was embarrassed.

26:04I can't wait to buy them. That was really late getting my period. I was nine. Well, I got this. I got this. You were nine when you started your periods? Nine. Stop. Oh, Jen, I'm so sorry. Were you actually nine? Nine. Sorry, I completely interrupted your story. Sorry. You were at primary school. Oh, yeah. That's like. How do you navigate that as a nine? That's my son's nine. My eldest child is nine. And if he. Yeah. I mean, I know he's a boy, but the thought of having a daughter that's nine. I know. Did your. Like, were you prepared? like were you told did your mum say okay this is how you put in a tampon because i basically yeah that was like absolutely terrifying when you're nine i was like i have to what so where does that go oh my god nine i remember my i don't remember when i first started but i remember i had heard my mum and my sister talking about that she's three years older than me so i knew what periods were and things like that um that is so much for a nine-year-old yeah that's I was like 13.

27:02Yeah, I was 15. I was so late. I couldn't wait. So when I would go in the shop and buy sanitary towels, I was buying them even though I didn't need them. And I was like, well, I'm buying everyone. I've got it. I've got my period, but I didn't have it at all. When I got it, I like had a party. I was like, I have finally got it. The novelty is going to wear off, Louise. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I know. Yeah, I buy all my sanitary stuff on Amazon because it comes boxed out. Do you still get embarrassed by it? No, that's what I'm saying. Like now, I would go to the shop now. If I went and bought some sanitary, I'd buy like tampons.

27:30I would wrap a magazine around the box. I'm not joking. I feel like we need to challenge you to break this. Yeah, I think we need to. Yeah, great. You can do it, Hannah. Come on, Hannah. You're doing really well. You can do it, sweetie. You're doing it. You're doing it, Hannah. You're doing it. I think we should challenge you to go into like an Ann Summers and buy a strap-on. I don't think we need to go that extreme. Let's just start with some super plus tampons. I don't know why you're buying a strap-on, but I'm with Louise. Actually, I feel like you'd be fine buying a strap-on. You'd probably make content out of it.

28:01So you have a seven-year-old and an eight-year-old. Please tell me you have some parenting fails. That's what we live for. Do you have a girl and a boy? Yeah, so are they different? Parenting girls, boys. My kids are different. I have an absolute tomboy. And then I have a boy who's worn dresses to school. Oh, I love that. He's just had a new wig for his birthday. I love it. He's got all my sequin jackets. Has he? Oh, mummy, this is nice. Oh, this is sometimes. Mummy, can I go and put your dresses on? I'm like, yeah, okay. I can just hear trot, trot, trot, trot, trot. With your stilettos on there.

28:45Whereas our daughter is looking and going, and she wears a backwards cap and AVA. She shaved half her head. She's got style. Yeah, she has. How nice that they have their own identity. Oh, and they have been that way. I haven't been able to dress my kids since they were 18 months they've both been very very this is my style and you can never bribe them with sweets and be like I don't care like I I I'm for me they're fun clothes are there to have fun you know when you're a kid have fun with them I can see why our son is drawn to the girls clothes they're fun and they're yeah exciting and now he's getting a bit older he doesn't wear dresses to school he is a bit more aware he wouldn't wear a dress out in public now but he's very vibrant he'll wear um neon pink leggings yeah and you know a hoodie with pink on it he sounds really cool he's hilarious he's a real character and I just thought um you know and I used to sort of say to him you know you're really brave you're really brave and he was just like i just like it you know and i people obviously have their opinions and they're like oh you shouldn't do that and i think oh for god's sake they're just clothes they're just clothes and you know look at society and and cultures and what they wear and why does it matter and 100 years ago boys used to wear pink and girls wore blue and you know in um it was only a couple hundred years ago that men wore makeup and high heels and wigs So, you know, we're changing all the time.

30:18And who gets to say, oh, no, now we're blue and now that's pink. And you're absolutely right. Who cares? Like they're children. Let them be. What's your thoughts on today's world, society, like teenagers spending all this money on skincare? Like I think my niece has better skincare than I do. And is it necessary? What's going on? I think that makeup is art and creative fun so I don't think that you need to worry about like an age limit to letting your kid play with makeup because if you gave uh so what I do sometimes is I'll get my makeup bag out filled with the stuff that I don't you know the cheap stuff lots of glitters and pinks and things and I'll just say you can do my makeup and we just sit there and they do it but of course they're not doing this mascara on my eyelashes they're literally like just want to shove it up my nose you know they don't they don't know they're just having fun I'm a blank canvas to them so I do say to parents sometimes they're not looking at makeup like we look at makeup as this way to beautify ourselves and make ourselves the pressure be they just look at it and they oh well I watch mummy do it and I find it interesting and look at all the colors and I want to stick my finger in that and oh it feels funny let them play with it because to them it's just a form of creative fun yes until they put red lipstick all over your carpet which is what i've gone through on your cream carpet i don't know what i was thinking but what about um like when we get to teenagers so i think that uh it's again it's fine for kids to have a skincare routine it's not a bad thing for kids to learn how to look after their skin washing your face really well using spf absolutely yeah these are all positives but they've gone too far and now they're using actives and strong products on their young skin which is actually doing more harm than good yeah i do think and i'm sorry i'm gonna upset a few people there aren't enough parents saying no um you know and they go oh well they you wait until yours as a teenager and i was like oh mate no will be the answer i don't understand like yeah no i agree with you No, I won't buy you a£50 Sol de Janeiro Bum Bum Cream.

32:32Are you mental? That blows my mind because I look back and think, between me and two of my friends, we used to buy a collection 2000 lipstick for like£1.99 from Superdrug and we would share it between us and we'd buy like the hair mascara. That's why I got herpes, babe. Covered in hives and my face has been rotting for years. but we used to share um but we'd get like the hair mascaras we'd be like oh my god pluck your eyebrows so they're really thin like fun and it was like you say when you said like putting makeup on is like art we it was we just looked like an abba tribute act but we just loved it lovely time but it wasn't as well it's not worrying about it has to be this is the look that you've got if you if you're not doing this you're not doing it right whereas now i think these younger girls there is a look there is a one look yeah and this is it and you know i mean they're amazing at doing their makeup.

33:27They do creative things. But I do think that they don't need these crazy routines. I mean, I remember as a teenager, it was all about clothes and fashion. And if you weren't wearing the right fashion. Yes. Like it was like, I feel it was more hair as well. How are you doing your hair for going out? I know my hair was all like that classic, like 90s, like slicked back with like two bits here. Yeah. That was literally like the hair. And you'd have your low jeans, blue eyeshadow, concealer on your lips. But we barely put mascara on. Mascara was like, and afterthought, you did nothing with your brows.

33:58No. You looked one dimension. Super tan. The brown lip liner. I was told something and I have actually told my son who's getting the old pimple now and then is if you lick your finger and put it on your spot, then that's actually quite a good natural healing for spots. The human mouth is so dirty. I thought you were going to say. It's like really, really? Hang on. Louise, I don't know why, but he's got really bad acne. It's just like infection after infection because she's getting spits and breath. I mean, I've never heard that. Yeah, and then I told, yeah. Who told you that, Louise? My best mate told me that and she's quite intelligent.

34:41We used to put toothpaste on, didn't we? But apparently that's now like incorrect. Yeah, no, don't do that. But I, what about pseudo cream? I think that's a good one. Oh, like, yeah. Can I tell you something off the record? Yeah. Or maybe on the record, who knows? I've never told this to anyone before, actually. And there's nothing bad on me. Come on, Louise. Come on. Tell us. Come on, Louise. Don't try. Don't hesitate. And his boyfriend. Oh, my God. Are we already going there? Yeah, we are. Yeah. And his boyfriend, whenever he used to go f***ing on me. Yeah. Yeah. Go on, Louise. Like, afterwards.

35:21You're doing really well. Keep going. I'm getting really sweaty. afterwards, he would lick your face to stop your spots. No, afterwards, he would get pseudo cream and put it all around his mouth here. And he was like, it's to prevent me getting acne. I was like, well, what the f*** do you think I am down there? Like, is it that bad? Did anyone else have that? He also used to eat kebabs wearing marigold gloves. He was a strange guy. How long did you take this guy? Too long. This guy, I used to go up with this guy. and I thought he was going to go like, you know, like, and I was like, and then I was like, oh God, it feels like a dog's like licking my toes.

36:03Oh God. He went to get on me when he started licking my toes. Shut up. Yeah, honestly, maybe take that bit out. I think my bit's worse. Let's talk about, let's move on from this. Are you finding it harder to come to terms with ageing or are you cool with it? No, I'm actually all right with it. I do feel like it's a privilege to age. I have lost friends, like even back to being a teenager who would do anything to get to my age. And I remind myself of that. It is a privilege. I look at my mum and she's 80 next year and she's phenomenal. And she's always said, you've got to get better with age. Otherwise, what's the point?

36:46And I really, really love that. And I'm just taking it with me. Look after yourself, you know. Yeah, and I do feel that when we age, I feel like I've become more comfortable with who I am. I know who I am. Yeah, I agree. And I love that. I absolutely love that. I think I look better now than I've ever looked. I didn't know what you looked like before, but I think you're absolutely phenomenal. In my 20s, I looked rank. I also looked rank. And do you think that's because in our generation, in our 20s, it was like a lot of people smoked. You'd go out and get absolutely smashed on a weekend. You'd eat kebab chips and garlic sauce on the way home.

37:31Next day, you'd be like, we're going out tomorrow night as well. We weren't doing the skincare. We were sleeping in our makeup. It would be funny. And I remember waking up, going to the club, waking up the next day, find me in the club. And your pillow would stink. And you'd have fag bones on your clothes. Did you go to the smoke? yeah yeah i did social smoker no i smoked hard on trend now isn't i'm seeing all over social media people with social actual cigarettes is that the end thing i think so i'll tell you what if vogue menthols went banned oh i was i'd be on then oh and i mean they did a good job banning them because it stopped me from smoking yeah social smoking i mean it's so bad i mean obviously smoking is not good for you but it's so bad for your skin like you would feel the next day wouldn't you like oh disgusting oh god yeah my 20s i was such a hot mess i was such a broken little human as well i was just so sad and just and i didn't know how to dress my body at all because like we're both we're tall as well i'm fine i mean you are wearing rock and pair of heels i am wearing we're both tall you're a bit taller than me you're five five ten i'm five nine and growing up that was ginormous wasn't it nowadays it's not you know we're going to have our daughters are going Did you get stupid questions from guys?

38:48Like, what's the weather like up there? Like, oh, f*** off. It's just, I didn't know how to dress my body. I'm broad. I've got no waist. I've got no boobs. I've got no a**, which is just my shape. And that's quite hard to know how to dress. I mean, I don't think that is true. But it is. But I'm okay with it. Because as my dad used to always say, he was like, you don't want big boobs. You like sport. Because my dad was an athlete. so he was always just like you don't want because i was just you know growing up in the 90s yeah having big boobs was everything wasn't it yeah my dad's like you don't want big boobs because you can't you know running is nightmare for women if they've got a big bus so i was you know my i was very lucky that my dad was always like you're strong like lean into the fact that you're strong but you know that's that wasn't cool there now to be strong it's so on trend and i remember um a woman who does like some sports massage for me she was like do you have any idea how many women would love to have your physique you know your natural physique and i'm like no one said that when i was growing up you know i was not i was just like i was tall i didn't know what to wear um i was just experimenting all the time with hair and makeup just a nightmare really i look at some of the photos i'm like oh good god and hair and makeup you've always been into i take it yeah but a bit too experimental at times i'd say okay nothing wrong with that yeah it's good to there's one image in my mind where I'm out and I've got blonde hair I'm blonder than you I've got white blonde hair oh my gosh and I'd love to see that oh I look it's I look at it sometimes I'm like is that me or is that my sister I have to find it and I'm in this pub with loads of people and I've got a cigarette in my hand and I'm quite a bit plumper and I think waistcoats were in fashion I decided they were but I didn't fit into women's clothes I wasn't I was a size 16, but back then you struggle to get a size 16 women's.

40:37And I had on this black T-shirt with this waistcoat over the top that was clearly from a man's suit. And this bright pink, neon pink lipstick. And these ridiculous earrings. You know when you just look at it and like, you thought you looked great. But I bet when you were getting ready you were like, yeah, I'm going to pull tonight. Look at that. Yeah. It was like trendy to wear the big plastic, looks like sweets rings and was it hannah well my friend my mates used to be like what the are you wearing i had a dummy around my neck like a plastic i remember it was a big black plastic dummy no no no it was before that how old was i i was like 15 young yeah i went to a club oh yeah because i was tall i got away with being looking like 18 when i wasn't i was 13 yeah but if you started your periods at nine yeah yeah you were like gagging for the club and i was really tall i was really tall as well i remember i was allowed to go with my big brother and big sister yeah and i remember my brother just like disowning me straight with he was like i'm not going and you can go away but did you look really old i don't mean really old but did you look like did you have boobs and stuff yeah did you really so you developed really early yeah so I mean, I think my dad was like, you need like you don't kiss any boys because I think my dad was like, those men will get in.

41:59You know, does that worry you for your daughter? Like, do you think that, you know, how do you feel if she's going to start? I already talk to her about it all. Yeah, good. So we talk about it. It's quite sweet. We went into a bathroom the other day and somebody had clearly had their period and the toilet hadn't flushed properly. And my daughter went in there and she went, oh, mummy. And she didn't say it in a way like, oh, God. She just went, oh, mummy. someone's had their puberty in here oh and i was like oh yeah they have doesn't matter does it she was like no but my son really hates blood and when i was talking to my daughter about it he was like oh oh mommy i don't want that i don't want this puberty i don't want puberty and i was like no you're lucky it won't happen to you and he was like oh god and he was there when the toilet thing happens he was like puberty it won't happen to you so i'm really trying to drum it into her at a young age like it's no you know very normal nothing to be embarrassed about you know and i will make sure that she's got you know period pants in her bag yeah probably yeah within the next year amazing that we now have that we have um my niece is a pro swimmer and my sister was worried that when she got her period that she'd want to stop swimming yeah but they now have like like actual swimming costumes with period pads in as well.

43:18So she's... Yeah, insane. She can just be. She doesn't have to worry about the tampon. I swear to God, I lost my virginity to a super plus tampon. I had no idea how to put it in. Looked at the leaflet. And the leaflet's literally like a tube. And then your legs. Or like the leg of the bath. Yeah. And then insert. Oh, it's just awful. I didn't actually use tampons for years. Jen you've been an absolute pleasure to have on thank you so much for being here we've covered everything today I've shared things I've never shared before let's face it not sure if they're going to keep it in thank you it's been a pleasure thanks for having me Jen will be telling

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