Jordan Banjo, Sophie Ellis-Bextor & Professor Green Share Their Unfiltered Parenting Styles

0:00Jordan Banjo:Coming up... So what would you say your parenting style is? Because it sounds like you're quite chilled. Oh, I bribe. So it's almost as if they're looking at you behind your back going... Hey Chicago, class it up with Crocs. You know back to school is coming in fast. So why wait to find your new fave footwear? Step into a local Crocs store and step into your new look. Try it. Style it. Make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up, it shows off. First day fits, handled Walk out ready for whatever's next Visit your nearest Croc store today Hey friends, Olivia from OLLI Between new routines and the ultimate group project known as parenting You need science-backed solutions that work with your life That's where OLLI comes in Start your mornings off right with Maltese made to support nutrition and immune health Choose from our lineup of gut-supporting probiotics And we've got occasional sleep support to help the whole fam chase their big dreams Head back to class with the number one gummy supplement brand.

0:59Jordan Banjo:Stock up on Ollie.com today. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease. Get business done with the new American Express Graphite Business Cash Unlimited card. With unlimited 2 % cash back on all eligible purchases, unlimited 5 % cash back on flights and prepaid hotels booked through American Express Travel Online, and a flexible spending capacity that can grow with your business, you'll have the confidence to keep building. apply today and earn a welcome offer of$1 ,500 cash back after you spend$50 ,000 in qualifying purchases on your new card within the first six months of card membership terms apply learn more at go.amex graphite it's very easy i've found in my experience as a parent to get the wrong end of the stick and fly off the handle if i know i f*** up i'll just apologize on the spot there's a lot of problem solving that goes on isn't there i'm parenting so let's see how i do can you parent my kids for me please because you're way better at it than me

1:58Jordan Banjo:I am moving house on Monday and I've been, I've found. Oh no. I've found some stuff that I kept from when I had the kids. Now, I mentioned this to you before. I need to get a sick bowl. Maybe. God. Should I show you what I've kept? Oh God. You need to explain to everyone what this is. So what I have is little bits of stuff that I kept from when the kids were first born. So, you know, when they're born in the hospital and they give you a little hat to put on the baby. Yeah. That was Logan's. Oh, can I see it? But there's, I don't know where, there's like some sort of mud inside it. I don't know what, that's not bodily parts.

2:41Jordan Banjo:Look how small it is. I know. And then this here was basically Annabelle was in intensive care. yeah and she had to go and all of my kids come out like david dickinson so they had to go under the lights so i kept all the little masks that they had oh my gosh look at that that's tiny i don't know logan's obviously had these out of the box so they're a bit fluffy but that's um what went around their heads so when they finished coming out of the coming off the lights after like four or five days they had like tan lines oh my god on their face where that just this section But when they were born, my mum looked at the kids.

3:21Jordan Banjo:Each of them was like, they look like they've got a really, really nice sun tan. I'm like, mum, they have not been exposed to sunlight. This is jaundice, medical condition. I've kept all the little tags when they were born. Are you a hoarder? No, I'm not a hoarder. Not a hoarder at all. Just very sentimental. This one's Annabelle's. Then I've kept, she had a little splint on her arm. Now, for any parent who has a newborn baby or a small child that has to have a cannula fitted. Yeah. So when Logan had a cannula fitted, he stopped breathing and had to be resuscitated because he had infections and stuff.

3:59Jordan Banjo:But when Annabelle, my third child, was born and they said, we need to take her to intensive care, like she needs potentially a blood transfusion. Oh, my gosh. So I remember going into intensive care. I hadn't been into that sort of environment where there was like six other babies in there. before and oh it was horrendous and I'd just given birth like 12 hours before so I was walking obviously a bit funny and this nurse just hugged me she was like you're okay you just come here because I was so like and I was like my husband's not here and stuff so when they went to put the cannula in Annabelle's hand I think I had like a bit of a panic attack because I was like it's gonna happen again I was like she might stop breathing Logan stopped breathing had to get resuscitated and the crash team came in and and the nurse was like it's okay and then next thing it was like some bloody stars in their eyes they're like dim the lights put this bright torch underneath annabelle's hand so they could track all the veins wow they didn't do that with logan but all the lights just it was like hit the lights oh wow i was like give it to myself florese was gonna come out and start singing and then and then basically they put the cannula in no problem at all but they had to rest her arm on this little splint so so i've got that and then And I've got all my scan pictures.

5:10Jordan Banjo:This is... Oh God, here we go. This is the clamp from the cords. I've got... Bradley's is in a separate box. But that is Logan's... What is that? The end of his cord. That's when it's fallen off. That's nice. Do you know my friend, actually, the health visitor came around to her house and the cord had come off. And she had this with a bit of cord, a bit of meat at the end. And the dog came and took it and ate it and took it upstairs. and the health visit was like oh where's the remnants of the cord that's just come off the belly button and the dog was like oh god literally like me eating a dog biscuit my father-in-law but and then this here was the um when the student midwife it's a little cup she got a syringe and she was like expressing me do you remember joanne page yes and she was saying about her husband like literally because he used to milk goats or something so um I remember this was held under my tit and she was like squeezing you know the bud behind into this cup to get like a couple oh my god I can't believe you kept that as well so I've kept that now this bit here Louise I feel I can feel my tummy already turning with all of my kids I have got the cord no it's freeze It's freeze-dried in the word of love.

6:31Jordan Banjo:It's wrong. I mean, I... I mean, it doesn't smell. I can't believe you just smelled it. It doesn't smell. It's freeze-dried. That's the umbilical cord. But this is the umbilical cord that came off. So I kept my placenta and had the placenta put into capsules with all three kids. But you did that as well. Yeah, I did that with my third, yeah. But then they offered this service where I could have the cord put into... I mean, I'm not going to put it up in the house. If anyone isn't watching right now, let me explain what Hannah's holding up. Do you want to hold it? No, I really don't. Don't you? I grew that.

7:02Jordan Banjo:Which is amazing. It's absolutely amazing. Hannah is holding her cord, her umbilical cord, which is dried and looks like a moulded banana. Yeah. And it spells love. Yeah. But I thought... I wonder if anyone... Has anyone else kept these things? Please comment in the below because I would love to know. Maybe I'm not that sentimental. I keep loads of things. I've kept my son's toenail because it took him about five hours from him to actually let me cut it tantrums everywhere and I was like I'm getting this you were like that's a moment and I kept it out of sheer and utter this was very traumatic for me but you've kept like all these like that's a lot of stuff I'm really Louise I'm not a hoarder at all and I chuck stuff out all the time but I don't what does Andy think of all of this this is the cable that attached to the heart rate monitor they said I could keep it so I was like oh is that the sort of thing that the parents keep I mean you're gonna have to keep it now forever yeah come this far yeah and then one day if Bradley has a family I'm gonna say to his partner like look what I've got look somebody expressed my tit and I've got a cup to put the milk in you'll be like your mum is a psycho I don't keep teeth though please welcome the one and only it's Jordan Bonjo how do you describe your parenting like your style what was your um parents like with you when you were growing up and and how has that affected your style and stuff my mom and dad were very very much the opposite like my dad if dad says stop you stop like that's it whereas with my mom i won't know i was i was a little shit like i remember being like i remember this conversation which is so bad my mom got upset once she got like she started crying because me and my little me and my sisters only a year between us we're being such shit it was in our first house i remember it clear as day i was right i was we had a water pistol and i kept spraying the mud in the same patch scooping up running in and putting it on my shoes in the house oh you little twat i was just being like that's yeah because to me it was hilarious right so my mom would go jordan and i'd go and i'd run and i'd see the mud and she's following me to sort of like find where i am and get me to stop oh god and i remember she started crying and when she started crying you would think i'd be like oh mom's upset and i remember thinking job accomplished like i've done it like i've really been a little shit like i was did you apologize to her now that you're a parent that night i was like i remember thinking when your dad came home yeah but now that you're a parent can you look back and be like oh my god my dad used to call me my dad used to call me mr angry all the time because i used to i don't know why and I've still got it now.

9:48Again, I've said it publicly a couple of times, but basically I can punch myself in the forehead and not feel it, right? What? Yeah, I've never understood why.

9:56Jordan Banjo:You can punch yourself in the face and not feel it? Specifically my forehead. What if someone else punches you? I just don't, it's like a numb, it's honestly like you've been numbed. I can feel the movement, but the pain just isn't there. And I remember when I was a kid, when my dad or anyone would tell me off, I would go to the top stair and I would headbutt it until I passed out. Like I used to go whack, whack. I used to have a proper little anger management issues, right? And obviously my mum and dad are trying to stop me because I'm smacking my head until I knock myself out. But with my parenting style now, I would say, and between me and my wife, we're quite aligned, right?

10:35So my mum and dad, they very much wasn't aligned on certain things, right? So, you know, you grow up and you see arguments and you see this and you see that. I'm very much the opposite for that. Like it's almost like a Hollywood film. You know, if me and her ever start to remotely get into a debate, I'm like, not now. Yeah, not in front of the kids. Yeah, because like it sounds funny and it doesn't sound like a big deal. But even though now, it could have been about putting petrol in the car, but I remember them arguing. Do you know what I mean? And that's quite a thing for me, which I was like, I just don't want around my kids.

11:07um so with my kids they would they would say that i'm i'm strict but i just think and i know this is gonna sound silly and i'm learning this more and more as time goes on i my dad was quite hard on on us on me my brother and my sister and expected quite a lot and i am trying to unpick that with my kids because I'm quite the same with them I won't lie like and it's never my dad was hard when I see my girls to grades achievements behavior he didn't really have to be because whereas with my kids the only thing I'm really hard on them about is behavior because yeah especially when I it's like I know that you know and that's what that's what that's when I get

11:54Jordan Banjo:pissed off yeah um and it's okay to have high standards yeah in certain things and in other things not so much and sometimes I'm trying to unpick putting so much on like with my son for example my oldest I'm like at the end of the day you guys touched on it earlier it was the perfect way to say it I will ask him to do something for his little brother or go and grab this or I've asked you to sit down and do that and sometimes he doesn't and then I get annoyed or I tell him off or we have a we have a talk and then at the end I'm like fucking hell you are seven like you are still just seven they're still so small you know like you are only seven and it's only when that happens and the other thing i try and do which my mum and dad now they would because they are so different as grandparents as they were as parents right they're like my dad is the opposite as a grandparent oh i cannot tell you and was your dad's parents strict with him growing up yeah so my dad's nigerian right he was born in nigeria right like it was just culturally it's different and where's your mum from my mum's just from uk right yeah um so culturally for him was very different so with us he was very different but now he's like he softened yeah I was gonna say softened softened so much yeah but one thing they didn't really do and I understand it again because culturally it was like as a kid especially back then you know 30 years ago whatever is seen and not heard and you do as you're told yeah if I know I fucked up during the day yeah oh the first thing I do is bedtime or in the moment I'll just apologize on the spot like with my kids I'm like I'll come here.

13:22I'll be like, mate, I'm sorry. Like, I misunderstood that. And I'll try and take accountability. Because I'm like, you should understand that sometimes you've got to take accountability. And I can't be like, you say sorry to your sister when I know I've messed up. Go and headbutt the wall.

13:36Jordan Banjo:Yeah, go and headbutt the wall. Get it out that way. You know, the worst thing I remember as a kid is, you know, when you've done something or your parents think you've done something wrong and you haven't, but then they won't let you speak. Yeah. And you're trying to explain and go, no, shut up, you listen. Yeah. honestly that that's probably why i ended up headbutting the wall you know you try and explain no i didn't do that i see that frustration with my own kids so even though sometimes you know when you're in the heat at the moment you're trying to sort something out the last thing you want to do is listen to a six-year-old say talk for five minutes and say that takes 10 seconds but it's like i try and give them that time to explain and whatever because sometimes it's very easy i've found in my experience as a parent to get the wrong end of the stick and fly off the handle of course i'll be up at three in the morning i don't get back to 10 p.m at night then it's the weekend i'm up and i'm like look i'm exhausted i just want it no no that's your fault like no that's their fault they're six one seven and the other ones too and it's just kind of i think trying to take accountability for times when i fuck up as a parent is it's a lot more than i'd like to admit because i mess up all the time if i'm honest i really do mess up all the time but i think acknowledging that and just trying to be better from it is all you can do do your kids dance?

14:46No.

14:47Jordan Banjo:Do they not? Do you dance at home? Do you know what? Do you know what? They, my son now, and this has been a real point of contention in our house. He's words, when you say to him, what do you want to do? He goes, I want to do what daddy does. So he now says he wants to dance, do radio and box because I do, I do boxing as well. Right. My wife is adamant he's not to do anything to do with boxing. she just but that's the thing he needs to do the most but she's like I don't want him to do it it's not happening so that's like a real point of contention in our house my daughter she used to go to something called Stagecoach yeah my daughter went to Stagecoach my daughter went to Stagecoach I remember she was about five at the time she sat me down she went I don't want to go to Stagecoach anymore I was like oh I was like why it's quite a big thing you loved it you were doing all the little shows do you know what it is I can sing, I can dance, I can act.

15:47There's no point. I'll inform you now, she can neither sing, dance or act. She's quite shallow in the talent pool. I love her confidence. That's what I'm saying. I was like, mate, that delusional confidence is what everyone needs a little bit of in life. And she's now at this stage where she'll go, yeah, I want to go back, but is there like an older class or... Is there anything more advanced? Literally, that's what she says. She loves to dance. so let's call it freestyle um she has to do her own style of dancing my son says he wants to dance but if i say because he says it's what i do but if i try and teach him anything my son is very much of the he gets it first time or don't worry about it when my daughter will keep going and going and going and going when we first opened the diversity studios they went for like the first two months yeah and because all the teachers are diversity all the other little kids turn up and even if they don't know who diversity are.

16:43It's a random man or random woman. They don't know teaching them. So they listen. To my kids, it's, oh, that's Uncle Mitch. Yeah, of course. Or that's Uncle Sam. Yeah, of course. That's Uncle Geo. So they see them all the time. They're used to them all the time. Guys playing. So when it's like, no, you're now in a class. You've got to listen. That just didn't quite cross over. So now they're a bit older. Maybe they'd sit in the classes a bit better. And my daughter does say she wants to go back. And I'm like, okay, if you want to go, you can go. But you've got to understand that you're there for a class.

17:09And it's difficult for me. and I don't want them to ever have that pressure on them being at diversity studios and being our kids and then you know I can't imagine what the teachers feel like at stagecoach where they're

17:21Jordan Banjo:like we're going to do a performance and they'll look up and see the kids are doing like a little dance and it might be a bit shit and they look and see you in the crowd watching that oh my god I was front row at all them shows though I was front row I did run at like a little fair in Brentwood in Essex and I was sat there front row and it was awkward because I had other people performing and all the other stagecoats kids and parents were used are used to like a diversity person being there right yeah but a lot of them wasn't so the other classes that turned up and other dance schools that came i think they thought i was like a guest judge or guest of course yeah they were like oh like most of them turn up oh my god ashley banjo's here i was like it's not ashley i'm so sorry to disappoint you've got the wrong brother here it's the wrong one but it's fine so they turn up and there was one guy bless him he was a uh sorry he was a michael jackson impersonator and he directed his entire eight minute performance directly to me and there's only about 12 people watching it was really awkward he poured his heart and soul into it so mate I'm not sure of your name but if you was at Brentwood at the Little County Fair you smashed out a Michael Jackson performance well done but maybe eye contact with other members of the it was really awkward for me please welcome Genevieve Telly I tried so hard not to look at I was like, don't make her laugh.

18:39Jordan Banjo:So what would you say your parenting style is? Because it sounds like you're quite chilled. And I have to say, whenever we've shot content together, you come across so chilled. I don't know if you've ever noticed that, but when I shoot content, I need a script, a plan. And Jen arrives and she's like, yes, I've got this idea. And we're just going to shoot. And we're just going to see what happens. And then we'll shoot. And then she's like, yeah, I think that works. And then she'll edit so quickly. and then I was like how did you just do that like is your parenting the same because you to me you come across super chill I am very chill yeah uh I'm very I'm sort of really calm until I'm not calm yeah uh yeah I would say my parenting style is just go with the flow I am probably stricter than you think like I'm pretty hot on table manners yes oh god very hot on table manner using a knife and fork properly not chewing your mouth open consequences yeah i will see every consequence through always follow through always follow through the consequence um so i am strict but i my friends laugh because if i said to one of my kids if i count to three and you're not where i want you to be or whatever then you lose whatever i don't even have to get to two yes one and then yeah and my kids my friends are like what it still works because you follow through It still works for my eldest.

20:01Jordan Banjo:He's nearly 14. And I'll still do the one. They know. Do you start from five or three? Or do you count down? I count from one. I count from one. And they do that. Four. And I do the first one. Even though I have always followed through with consequences, my daughter will still challenge me. And it's got to the point where I've got to like four and I'm like four and a half, four and three quarters. And I'm like, I'm going to get to five. And what the hell do I do? Because I've never got to five before. the key is to never do a consequence that you don't want to see through like if you're having a really nice time with friends like having a glass of hey chicago class it up with crocs you know back to school is coming in fast so why wait to find your new fave footwear step into a local croc store and step into your new look try it style it make it yours because the right pair doesn't just show up, it shows off.

20:56First day fits, handled. Walk out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest Croc store today.

21:04Jordan Banjo:Hey friends, Olivia from Oli. Between new routines and the ultimate group project known as parenting, you need science-backed solutions that work with your life. That's where Oli comes in. Start your mornings off right with Maltese made to support nutrition and immune health. Choose from our lineup of gut-supporting probiotics And we've got occasional sleep support to help the whole fan chase their big dreams. Head back to class with the number one gummy supplement brand. Stock up on Ollie.com today. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

21:34Get business done with the new American Express Graphite Business Cash Unlimited card. With unlimited 2 % cash back on all eligible purchases. Unlimited 5 % cash back on flights and prepaid hotels booked through American Express Travel Online. and a flexible spending capacity that can grow with your business, you'll have the confidence to keep building. Apply today and earn a welcome offer of$1 ,500 cash back

21:56Jordan Banjo:after you spend$50 ,000 in qualifying purchases on your new card within the first six months of card membership. Terms apply. Learn more at go.amex.com. Wine in the garden, the kids are playing. Yeah. If you say, like, we'll go home, like, oh. Yeah, of course it's not going to happen. I don't want to go home. No, no. Did you both used to say, I used to be like, I'm never going to bribe my kids. Oh, I bribe. I actually sent that. I said I'm never going to bribe my kids. And that is how I parent. Like if you do that again, you're not having that. If you do that again, I'll take that away. And then they're just like, oh, okay.

22:28Jordan Banjo:Jessie says the most ridiculous things. They all do. Yeah. They all do. The amount of times my husband's looked at me and been like, I don't know why. But I had to call him out. It's like, if you do that again, you can forget going on holiday. And I'm like, but it's booked. Like we are definitely going on holiday. And I have to say to him, just say something normal. Like, you know, we'll turn the TV off. I'll take away your favourite toy like to say something that you can actually do instead of like we're not doing the things that you know we're definitely going to do because then they know that they can just get away with it it's almost as if they're looking at you behind your back going yeah my mum never swore growing up and still doesn't like if she says a swear word she's still like but when my do you remember my mum saying I think she said fuck but the way that she says it because she never says it she was like and it kind of made me laugh it's just like if you want to swear just swear like it just just say it but like she yeah like that kind of I remember just all kind of laughing because I was like I know that you're angry right now and I know that I've triggered you because you're swearing but the way that you're swearing sounds so funny yeah that and then we wouldn't end up laughing so you know my granny who was Scottish my papa papa Duncan they used to like literally shout at each other all the time and my granny would be like Duncan you shut your bucking mouth so they'd say bucking oh bucking yeah so every time we'd go to the house or if I was on the phone at Christmas we'd be like hi granny you okay and she'd say oh well hello there Duncan what are you doing you shut your bucking mouth and we'd be like like never knew she was telling us off and I thought that bucking was a swear word so I said it for the first time at school and it's like well I never got told off and it's like that's because it's not actually a swear word and when I learned the actual f-word then I realized the head teacher's office we had a chat we had a little trap today we've got the amazing professor green hello welcome thank you for so much for being here how are you gonna balance the the holidays are you like right we're gonna plan activities or are you kids clubs or or take him on tour with you if you've got he'll come to whatever festivals he can whatever what festivals are you doing off the top of my head good god I've just had an absolute blank are you busy though are you doing any like family do you do like family stuff do you know what even the festivals that aren't family festivals or considered family festivals are becoming much more like family festivals Do you then have to like think about your language more around family festivals?

25:10Jordan Banjo:Yeah. Yeah. A little bit. I did Gone Wild last year, which was wicked in Norfolk. But, you know, I was I was quite. Yeah. Yeah. Is it hard, though? Because obviously. No. Do you know what? I've never found it difficult to censor myself. Oh, that's good. I've never sworn on live radio or television if it's been pre-Watershed. Yeah. I've always been really good at doing that. Slim's caught me a couple of times recently, though. I didn't swear for years of his life and he's caught me a couple of times recently. I've been getting a bit too lax. It happens. Normally when I've dropped something on my foot, I just go, and it's like, swear to God.

25:41Jordan Banjo:I didn't say it. He's like, yeah, but you taught me about intention, dad, and you were going to say it. Yeah. God. My son said to me, well, about a year ago, he was like, mom, I know what the C word is. And I was like, oh no. I was like, oh no. And we happened to be on a play date around other kids as well. So you're like, great. And I see all the parents kind of going, shit. And I just, That's another swear word. That's another swear word. And I was like, well, what is, what C word? And he went, it's cock. And I was like, oh, thank God it's that and not the other one. Is that it? It's a bit, you know, it's a bit, you know, yeah, it's not.

26:23Jordan Banjo:I feel like the other C word is a bit more, you don't want a kid saying, well, you don't want kids saying any of it. But yeah, I was quite glad it wasn't the other C word. Yeah, Annabelle still can't say stick. So she's like, I want dick. And she keeps saying it and I'm like, Annabelle, it's a stick. And where we come out of nursery, there's fucking loads of sticks everywhere. She's like, there's loads of dicks. And I'm like, there is it, there is it. Today we are joined by a pop star mum of five boys. And she first invited us to murder on the dance floor back in 2001, the iconic Sophie Ellis-Bexter.

26:59Welcome. I feel like I didn't look elsewhere, I didn't want to interrupt your flow.

27:03Jordan Banjo:I know I can't believe I actually got that right in one go actually. Right we've got some dilemmas that we've got from our listeners so here we go. There's a lot of problem solving that goes on isn't there in parenting so let's see how I do. I'm pregnant and I've just found out I'm having a boy. I am worried about being peed on every time I change a nappy. Any advice here? I mean look I have to say it's been seven years like my youngest is seven so like it's been a little while since I've, not seven years but you know a good five years since I changed a nappy maybe, maybe longer. Aren't you supposed to like point them down?

27:32Jordan Banjo:Yeah, or like I always, yeah, point the penis shaft, whatever you want to call it. What is the right word? Penis. Penis, yeah. Telling a baby. Willi? The willy. Yeah, point their willy down. Point their willy down. So you sort of put your thumb like there while you're quickly doing the bits. But I think also you have to be a bit speedy sometimes. You have to be speedy. I mean, I've been peed on many times by my kids. Many times. What's put in my mouth? That was nice. But yeah, willy down. Yeah, there you go. Yeah, or a little sock over it. Yeah. I used to do that. Really? Yeah, put a little sock on it.

28:02Jordan Banjo:I remember once I had to get like a urine sample for my little boy. And I was like, oh, you know, changing his, keeping his nappy open. And, you know, you're like blowing on it to try and make it like to get him just to do a wee. And next thing I was talking to my dad who was there waiting with me. He was like, quick. And in a slow motion, I had this little pot to try and catch the wee. and it was just this fountain that was just going everywhere. So I kind of tried to, I was like doing this, but manoeuvring my head underneath this little, and I was covered in piss. I got a tiny bit. Because I've had to do that before and it's like, come on.

28:34Jordan Banjo:How stressful is it? Yeah. Like we'll do a little urine sample and you're like, how are we going to do that then? It's like, we're going to wait. It's a waiting game. So this one kind of rolls on with that. I have a baby boy and I'm really struggling to get all of the poo off his balls when I'm changing his nappy. they're such a weird texture wet wipes aren't doing it help any advice on that one Sophie I think you just gotta just I mean like it's a wet wipe and then some skin you just wipe it clean what other advice could I have put it in the bath right I've got another one for you here my 17 year old son has just got a girlfriend and to be completely honest with you I feel really left out oh I really want to get to know her and make her feel comfortable at our house but they always going to her parents how do I stop this from happening or what can I do to make them feel more comfortable in my home oh that's a tricky one isn't it that is and you know full disclosure I don't really know yet I haven't had these things haven't been tested in this way I do know that um my mum is a very strong matriarch and she's kept us all very close and we you know she's with us every Christmas and this kind of thing and I intend to have instilled exactly the same invisible strings so let's see what happens but look you know I also think kids go and do other things and come back to you as well and I think when I was in my late teens early 20s I was absolutely here there and everywhere and I didn't at that time really it wasn't as much of a priority to be plugged into my family I needed I wanted you know I would have Christmas I remember I went for Christmas with my boyfriend at the time you know in another country I would be going off and doing things but because my mum didn't make it a big deal I now we now go on like holidays together and stuff so it's like I think I think again it's a long game so just be yeah be super chill let him go off let him have a wonderful time and then keep that lovely relaxed atmosphere at home that makes him actually really want to be part of that because it's not about point scoring is it no no it's not about doing something to make someone else happy either so you have to it's that thing isn't it of like if something is meant to be you know set it free and it will come back to you kind of a thing i think i think they do return actually oh my god you like the oracle my elder no i've got i've got a long way to go no you are though like your outlook is just yeah it's unbelievable i'm at that uptight stage now with everything where i'm like i need to do annabelle's nappy and then i need to do this and get his book bag and remember i've been like that i've done all that and i think it's just learning do you play good cop bad cop at home not really like for you know for discipline and stuff or do you no not really but um I think for just keeping a really the calmest house you can just if I've been out for the day and I come into a situation and they're like mom I want to do this but you know daddy says I can't I'll always try and defer to whoever's been in charge so that I go like I've just walked in talk to them because I think otherwise it can get confusing and then they start playing you off against each other and what's it like when you've just walked in from a day at work and they're all like and it's chaos you just walk in and think i'm just gonna get back out again definitely or sometimes just like i'm just gonna avoid that um but also they sometimes can't like if they're having a disagreement and it's getting nasty they sometimes calm it quicker than if i walk in because if i walk in it's all he did this and he did that and it gets more high drama so i'll just be like unless someone's coming out like you know holding an eye or something then i'm just gonna like a limbs hanging off with a black eye it's gonna wait but yeah i mean look it it happens and i've noticed it's like a battle that gets past so there's particular ages where they're more likely to be really going for each other yeah and then they get older and suddenly they're kind of all right with each other again but that that age you've given me so much hope because we're in the midst of like constantly i'm like oh fucking hell and i'm like yeah but they don't listen to any of it obviously and one of you know someone's does something and then they'll go like do it back and then you say if you do it back it turns into a dialogue you if you don't like it you have to not do it back and is that when you make up one of your stories if you do that again there's a man that did that do you know what happened to him exactly it's got to be every day all of his skin came off exactly all the kids would be shitting themselves you're giving me some ideas yeah that's tonight's story i do have another question for you go on your food bill must be fucking extortionate with five labs how how do you how do you keep them filled up like are you one of those it's like right there's your dinner there's a loaf of bread on the table help yourself i mean we definitely can't like i realized from when they were little you can't run like a cafe can you like i'm sorry what would you like you know it's got to be yeah definitely one there's one main meal but there's always snacks i think it's actually and this is going to sound a bit probably not what you're quite what you're asking but i think it's more about trying to keep it so that they're healthy when they're snacking and stuff because they are all growing i mean i remember being so starving when you're a teenager you know that feeling of like um but uh yeah so we just definitely have things in the house but it's just trying to make it so that it's not it's not an exciting array a menu outside of what the main meal is it's like right you know what it is it's either you know there's some muesli there's some toast there's some fruit that's a great idea so do you have one meal for a family of seven we'll do that as the yeah like the supper or the lunch or whatever and little tweaks because one of my kids is gluten free and vegetarian so you'll have slightly more nuance but yeah we try to because otherwise it just was getting daft well it does yeah I need to get out of that little moments what do you do if your kids don't eat the meal that you put in front of them from when they were younger because I always say well if you don't eat your dinner you're not having another option and there I am in the cafe making them like jam on toast before bed or like something to get to get pleasure seeing my children eat yeah oh my god it's so true so happy when they have a good meal yeah it makes me so so happy that and good sleep you're like you're hardwired to yes secondary pleasure totally I totally agree so no I'm actually probably I am quite relaxed about by and large I mean I think when they're ready for it they eat And actually, if I remember back to my childhood, they eat a lot more adventurously than I did.

34:53I think I was actually relatively fussy. Oh, my God. I was terrible. And now I eat everything. I'm still quite fussy. This orange juice has got bits in it. You know, I was like that. But they love loads of different stuff. But I think also we've evolved, haven't we, what we can get access to and what they're being exposed to.

35:05Jordan Banjo:I didn't even know what an avocado was until I was about 17. Yeah. That was exotic. Yeah, it was exotic. It wasn't in my household ever growing up. It was exotic and really expensive. yeah absolutely and now look at the you know and now my daughter's like can I have another avocado yeah Sophie thank you so much for being here thank you I don't want you to go I want you to sit here can you parent my kids for me please because you're way better at it than me well I would say when I'm in a calm quiet room I'm a much better parent I can completely set the tone can't I I'm so great at parenting when my kids aren't here oh yeah I'm so good at it woo so good it's next time it's next time

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