The Kabs Family talk baby number 4, push presents, and meeting on a bus

19:36she's always helping out she's naturally just does it she's always helping out like dad do you want anything, do you want anything mum you cool, you want some water

19:42Hannah:it goes for like somebody's nailed everything it sounds like it we're still learning you're never master parenting And because you're young as well, it's nice. Because I guess, like, I've just turned 40 and I've got a two-year-old. I remember I went to the hospital. I think I was 37. And this midwife was like, oh, because you're kind of classed as, like, a geriatric mum. 35. And I was like, it's cool. And I'm like, yes, 35. Have you been called a geriatric? On my notes, it says geriatric. And I read it and I said to him, it's insane. I'm so crazy. Still a baby. Yeah. That's not normal. I don't think it's a very nice word.

20:19It just feels really up. Geriatric just feels really old. Well, they give you the compression socks, don't they? It's like, how old are you? Geriatric, put them on. And then you sort of think, well, I don't feel like I'm really old.

20:30Hannah:And have all your pregnancies been different or pretty much the same? I'd say pretty much the same. Like I'm quite nauseous from day one until the last day. So I can see why you needed a presentation to get pregnant again. To convince me. It's like, listen, babe, you're going to feel like s*** for nine months, which will feel like two years to you. But I've got you. I've got you both, babes. Is she physically sick or just feeling nauseous? Both. Yeah, yeah, she's physically sick. But you look so good. She does. How is it possible? Today, maybe. It's been a journey. I'm just glad we're nearly out of it.

21:07So your three children, how old are they?

21:09Hannah:What are their ages? 16, 8, and let me get it right, 6. Yes. Okay, so you're going right back to the beginning. Nappies, everything. Are you preparing differently this time for your fourth? I think this one, we're quite chill. I feel like the more you have, the more you know you don't need. What's that, sorry? I think the more you have, the more you realize you don't need. Yeah, that's very true. So I'm not as, oh, should we get this? Oh, should we get that? Oh, I'm just kind of that guy. Get some naffies on wax. And did you keep everything from having your third? No. Because I genuinely was like, we are not going back.

21:42Yeah. I just, it's more the pregnancy for me. I feel so blessed to be able to do it but it's so hard it is hard and I was just really put off I was like oh do I want to be going through that again but thank god this has gone quite quickly yeah as much as I'm tired it's gone quickly and it's definitely the last one definitely the last one yeah

22:00Hannah:so my friend just had her fourth child and she's loving it yeah so it's absolutely brilliant she felt the same she was like I had three I wasn't quite finished but one thing she's like bigger car holidays more expensive all of that do you need to change your car? I'm currently looking right now. He's showing me a car every day now. Oh, really? I don't care. Just care. I don't mind when I have my presentation. I think we should have this one. Something that goes not to 60 really quickly for when you go into like... Yes, exactly. I was telling the guys online, I was like, guys, help me. What car should I get?

22:31And everyone was sending me all these different cars and stuff. But they're actually all right. They look nice. So they sent you links to buses. That's what I thought. I was like, oh my God, are we driving a bus now? I wasn't a fan of seven-seater cars until I saw it. I said, you know what? I like this. Was that in the presentation? Yes. It was a fact. Was that the pros or the cons? It was the pros. It was a pro because - That was more of a con for me. I'm like, this is not a pro. Because I'm 5 '3". How are you reversing that? And I have to jump out of a van. I just feel like, I feel like a proper dad now.

22:58Cause my dad had a seven seat, you know? And I feel like once you get a seven seat, you are like a dad dad.

23:03Hannah:That status is - Like I just gotta start wearing - We've got a seven seat and I gotta say my husband's, he's loving it. Yeah. But he doesn't like it if there's a mess in there. That's me. Oh really? You don't have a clean car. No, no, no. It's clean. Very clean. I make sure the kids eat outside the car. Oh my God. My husband's the same. He does that. And I'm like, how can you make it? He's like, jump out and eat that little bit. Yeah. And I'm like, it's cold. I get in. I do think it's a dad thing. It has to be. It's got to be clean. I feel like you can't have, got her car. She's like, oh, you can eat in the car.

23:32It's fine.

23:32Hannah:Oh, who for it? So the kids are like, oh, mom, can we go in your car then? Because we can eat. I said, yeah, eat. My car's clean. Starving with him. What if? Okay, so what if you've got your kids in the car, say they're a bit young, say they're toddlers, and they're really hungry and they're screaming, would you give them a snack in the car? No. What? We're going to park up. But how do you shut them up? Yeah, we're going to park up. We'll park up and he'll take them out. We'll take them out. We might eat outside, sit on a bench, quickly eat the food. Yeah, but what if they won't get back in the car again once you've got them out of the car?

23:57And how inconvenient, yeah. How do you do it? It's so inconvenient.

24:00Hannah:What if we're in a traffic jam on a motorway? Then play some music and sing. No, seriously. And TJ looked at me like, mom, help. And I'm like, just take the mistake. Because the food's going to go on the side of the chair and then you're going to miss it and then the car's going to smell and then your friend might come in and then now your car's smelt. There's so much. I can go on for longer. What's the funniest moment of your parenting journey so far? So when we had TJ, he must have been about, there's no hesitation to jump straight in. He's not going to argue with you. Because I can't understand it.

24:30He's maybe about, what, eight weeks? And we were leaving home. I got in the car first with the older two and he comes downstairs, no car seat, no baby. And I'm like, where's my child? He's like, oh my God, I've got him upstairs. He goes upstairs and poor TJ's just looking around in his car seat in the house in the dark. And I was like, how did you forget him in the house? He's like, he's new.

24:52Hannah:He's new. He's new. The amount of people that write in to us and say that they have left their kid in a shop or outside a shop or in a restaurant. They've just, oh my God, I forgot. Down the booze aisle. I was like, but how? Like he was right by the front door. I mean, he didn't say nothing to me. So I'll just leave it. He didn't communicate. He needed to work on that. You got a lot of communication. What would you say mine was? I don't know. I don't ever see your failures. Maybe you do it and I don't know about it, but I don't, I can't tell you. I know you've got a few failures. That's literally what, my husband would be sat here for about an hour.

25:26Oh my God. I know. This is like, Jesse would just be like,

25:30Hannah:yesterday yeah and then last week and oh yeah and you remember that time when you did that like all right no but i feel like i feel like i'm the one that makes like you know i'm i'm i'm the crazy one there's always two people you know i'm i feel like i'm the crazy one i know i have but i just i couldn't think of one that's we laugh about yeah you know how do you stay organized then do you have a like a whiteboard in the kitchen she's the one that's most organized in the house so we have got a whiteboard yeah she writes things down for the week so just remember you got this meeting you got that, you got this.

25:58And now WhatsApp it. And then you WhatsApp it. Add it in the calendar. I just don't like writing things down. And who does the drop-off pickups? Me. He does the drop-off. Especially now, I'm nowhere to be seen. Nowhere to be seen. But I enjoy it. And what do you like about the kids being at school? Are you in all the WhatsApp groups, both of you? No. No? No. WhatsApp groups. No school WhatsApp groups. Oh, no, no, no. What was in that you're just not in the mod, they don't have them? I don't know if it happens, but I just feel like I'm not that mum. Do you know what? I love that.

26:29Hannah:I'm hosting the school quiz tonight. If I see it on the school newsletter or... Louise was class rep last year. Heavily involved. I'm not proud of it. I'm just not that mum. But she's more involved with the school than I am. I will go on every single school trip. Yeah. That's good. I've been to one school trip, actually. This is what we fight about. But because this is your last baby, would you say? 100%. So the only reason I stepped up as class rep was because I knew it was my last baby at school, just out of school. And to be fair, no one else stepped up and I was like, I can do this. I've done it twice before.

27:02Hannah:You know, I wasn't class rep before, but I've seen how it works. So I can do this. Yeah, I think to be honest, I went to my first parents' evening the other day. I've never been to a kids' parents' evening. Only because she didn't want me to do it. Yeah, my oldest didn't want me to be there. So he went. So I went, yeah. To prove a point. And what are your parenting styles? Like, are you like strict or like, do you have different parenting styles? Are you both on the same page? I think it changes. It changes. I think we're very straight down the middle. Yeah, because I'm cool. I'm really cool when we work with my kids.

27:35He's the fun. Yeah, I'll claim. I'll take that, I'll take that. Yeah, so I'm like the fun one who likes to kind of - No, no bedtime tonight. And I'm like, do not even, don't say that. Do you know why? Because I grew up without no bedtime. We had no bedtime. We were just like, when we got tired - We grew up very differently.

27:50Hannah:Oh, that's interesting. I'm trying to do that with the kids and then they love that. And she's like, no, you have to go to sleep. You need to be in bed by half seven. Your brain needs rest. Who cares? So when she's not at home or something, I might lay them still up a little. And they're like, yeah, no bedtime. And I come home, everyone's like, oh. You mentioned about school trips and you said that's something that we disagree on. Can we just divulge into that place? He never, ever does a school trip. I do every single school trip. Why won't you do the school trip? Because it's just, because first of all, they get on the train.

28:19so it's like it's a lot of kids and so that's inconvenient it's a lot because there's a lot of kids to look after yeah and it's like they're all shouting at the same time making noise and yeah they give you like groups of 10 kids no it's not 10 how much is it you get like three three kids so i've already got to deal with my own kids already that give me a headache now i've got to deal with other people's kids and you know you can't shout out people's kids so it's like you know and i yeah i need the toilet yeah i don't yeah i try not to shout you know this i'm I'm trying to, it's too much for me, it's a headache.

28:51But I've been to one. I went to one where my 16 year old was four.

28:55Hannah:And you identified that point. You hated it. That's why you haven't been on it anymore. Yes, that was it. It's like the whole like gender reveal thing is like a new thing. Yeah. I've never done a gender reveal, but you - We did two. You did, haven't you? Two. Two or three? Yeah, two. Mali we found out on the day. Yeah, yeah, two. Didn't do anything for you. And I saw you got the cannons. Yes. He planned that. Did you get all family round? He planned that. I planned it because she never knew the gender. so she wanted she didn't want to know I didn't want to know because I didn't want to spoil it for the kids yeah brain fog right now is really big so I was like I know I'm going to slip up so just don't tell me so you found out so we went together she had to leave the room I spoke to the guy and I waited outside and he showed me he asked me yep you're having a boy so I had to try and hold my girl I was just looking at his face when he came out like yeah I was jumping in my head I was like oh my god yes yes but then I came outside I was like so I was trying to make her think it was a girl But even though we didn't mind what it was, but I just didn't want everyone was like, what is it?

29:50Do you know what it is? They're looking at my eyes. We try and make it slip up every day. I'm like. How long did you have to wait for before the gender reveal then? He found out in July and we did the gender reveal last month, September. No. How did you do that to yourself for that long? I was just poker face. You just have to, you know, I was hearing you guys' conversation with your mom and saying, oh, there's a girl. And I was just like.

30:11Hannah:Did you have an inkling? in my gut i was like it's a boy but then i you know sometimes your head and your gut will fight and i'm just like oh but i think i was just really confused because he wasn't giving anything away i wasn't giving nothing he wasn't giving anything that's impressive people kept saying on on when i used to record and snap a lot because like you said i heard you say he i heard you say she yeah you know you never said anything i never said anything i heard you you said the she's that she I was like, I really didn't say she. Well, you did that brilliantly. Well, you've known each other since you were what?

30:45Like 12.

30:46Hannah:12. Oh my God. I was trying not to push because I didn't want to spoil it. I really wanted it to be special for the kids. The kids. So I didn't want to spoil it at all. So even when I found myself like, well, you know, just tell me. I'm like, no, no, no, let me just stop because I'm going to end up slipping up and then I've ruined the whole thing. And how do you prioritize yourselves as a couple now that you've got, you know, lots of kids, another one on the way? Do you have date nights? Do you have timing for each other? She's big on date nights. So it's like that has to happen all the time. Yeah.

31:13Hannah:But how often do you have date nights? How often? I mean, we haven't been... I mean, our first anniversary, like wedding anniversary was last month. Yeah. So we did something. Yeah. I mean, we didn't go out, but we just went away. Yeah. We put a weekend away. Yeah. But yeah, I think date nights, sometimes we do date nights at home. Like the kids go away. So we just... You have to find different ways to do date nights when you have children. So sometimes it could be something simple as like, it sounds crazy, but you know, just when you're unloading the dishwasher and someone else is there doing something else, you're talking, you're laughing.

31:45It's, I think that becomes more of like a regular date night. And then you have like special occasions. Like theatres, we love theatres. Yeah, I love the theatre. So in our age, a little bit or not? I don't think so.

31:57Hannah:We went to the cinema, my husband and I went to the cinema last Friday. And I was really excited. I can't remember the last time we went to the cinema together. and I was so excited, but he fell asleep. Did he? I'm like, is he going to cut out when we get home or what? It really kind of annoyed me. And I was like, do I just leave you here? Yeah. I'm just going to go home. You won't even notice. Oh, we could have done this at home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's him. I can't watch movies for a long time now. We will start a series or he will tell me about a series. Really excited about it. And then I'll get into it and I'll look over and he's asleep.

32:27Yes. And then I'm like, this drives me mad. I really want to watch the next episode. Do I watch it or do I wait for him? And he'll be like, no, wait for me. and I'm like okay I was never I was never like this I don't know what happened honestly I was I was that all night watching movies whatever now to watch the next episode so now I just watch it without it I can stay up and edit all night but to watch a movie it's because you're relaxing 20 minutes that's what it is and I just sleep 20 minutes I love that you do that we're date nights we used to get like we get the sound cancelling headphones and on a Friday night we'd get a nice couple of bottles of wine get a takeaway and then the kids would be in bed when the kids used to go to bed at like seven or seven thirds.

33:05We had the evening. So on a Friday or Saturday night, we'd have a few drinks, have our takeaway and we'd get dressed up as if we're on a date night. And then we'd put our sound cancelling headphones in. This is more during lockdown as well. And we'd just like dance around the house, downstairs. And we used to have the best time. That sounds really fun. Yeah, it was a lot of fun. And then I got pregnant again. So we had a lot of fun. Yeah, too much fun. Really too much at that point. So the other weekend, my husband was like, should we get the sound cancelling headphones? And I was like, No, not this weekend.

33:34Hannah:I think I'm ovulating. Shove them under the bed now. And what do you have like, maybe you falling asleep is like your annoying trait. Do you have things that irritate each other? I know there's things that irritate me. Do you know what? I ask him all the time. I'm like, I must do something to irritate. He's like, I can't think. He's either really, really clever. Yeah. Or I'm perfect. And I don't think I'm perfect. Does he still stare at you like he did on the bus at home? Sometimes. When you wake up like that child that stood at the end of bed with his husband. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do. And I'm like, what?

34:07He's like, can't I look at you? And I'm like, oh, sorry. Yeah, I do find myself sometimes staring for that reason. But yeah, I apologize. Right, so we've got a game for you to play. Would you rather? So number one, are you ready for this? Would you rather have your baby sleep perfectly through the night, but cry inconsolably for two hours every single time you put them down, or have your child wake you up at 3am every night to ask you a random question? Oh, wake me up at 3 a.m. Ask me a random question. Yeah, random question. Because I'll answer very quickly and go back to bed. Actually, yeah, that's a good point.

34:38Two hours, we're crying. Yeah, I know. It's awful. It's that colicky age, isn't it? Yes, that was Mali. Yeah, that was Mali. Have you ever had a colicky baby? Yeah. Mali. She would cry from 10 p.m. until 5 a.m. Oh my gosh. Every night. For how long? Hours, isn't it? For how many months? No, months. Six, five, six months. It's a long time. That is so tricky as a parent. We were zombies. when that happens. Like, honestly, it was hard. Wow. Gosh. And you look back on it and go, oh my God, we got through it. Yeah. Like we did it, but at the time - You don't think you were able to do that. It was hard.

35:11Yeah, it is hard. That is hard.

35:13Hannah:All right, moving on. Would you rather have your partner be a brilliant parent, but a terrible lover, or have your partner be a terrible parent, but a brilliant lover? Wow. Why is that so difficult? We're going to have to go with brilliant parent. I'm not trying to traumatize my kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You've got to be a brilliant parent. Yeah. But I also think if you are a brilliant parent, it actually like turns you on anyway. And then, you know, you could give some prompts. You can always edit and make it. Parent number one. Parent. I agree. I knew you'd both say that anyway, straight away.

35:50Obviously, amazing parents. Would you rather have an entire week completely alone for a peaceful holiday or have a full uninterrupted hour of peace and quiet every single day for a year? Oh. Ooh. I spot this too, haven't I? I don't know. I think a year. An hour a day for a year. An hour a day for a year. Or just peace and quiet or go away for an entire week completely alone. No, I'm going to do a week away. Yeah, let's do a week away. I think I do. Where would you go? Where would you go? Oh. I don't know. If I can go anywhere. Yeah. You know what I want to go? Oh, do you want to go like, yeah, somewhere like Hawaii or Barbados?

36:27You've always said Hawaii. Since I was a kid, I've always wanted to go to Hawaii. I've never been. Do you get away on holidays much with the kids? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So we've done once a year for the last couple of years. Yeah, we've been a lot of places. Do you take ages looking for holidays that are kid-friendly, kids' clubs, or are you very much like... No, we kind of know, like a few spots now. I mean, he's better at looking at the holidays. When it comes to holidays, I'm the guy that just looks at places. Wherever was the best place for the kids. I would be like the safety officer and he would be like, let's go here.

36:55And I'm like, okay, wait a minute. You're running behind with the plasters. Let's see.

36:59Hannah:Okay, next one. Would you rather listen to your child play the recorder badly or deal with a really bad tantrum for an hour? Yeah. Recorder. Listen to the recorder. The tantrum is a bit - At least you can walk away. Yeah, yeah. Tantrums can be - They're both so noisy. How do you deal with that? You can't deal with that noise. I can sit there and I want to hear it. A recorder would disturb me. but then I said do I want to see my child have a tantrum? What do you do when your kids have tantrums? I mean you're experienced enough at this now would you just be like let me know when you've finished or do you try and soothe them?

37:30Do you know what I think I've seen you actually handle it and you handle it really well actually like she really like speaks to them and she's calm and she's just and then my daughter will start relaxing or you know what I mean so I've seen you in action it's really good she's really calm I think I'm okay that is the way to do it

37:45Hannah:do you get embarrassed? No No Never You know like if they have a tantrum because we were talking about I got a bit embarrassed. I don't, not one bit. I don't care. He has no idea what he's doing or she's doing. And it's not a reflection on you. It's not. Every single child cries and throws a tantrum. They've literally labeled it the terrible tears for a reason. It's a stage of their development. Yeah. Like, so it doesn't bother me. And if it bothers someone else, that's their problem. I'll be in the shop just looking around. He will leave. He will leave somewhere. You've left your kid like that.

38:19No, I know I'm going to wash my hands. Australia. See ya. I'm done. Yeah, he will leave wherever he is. He'll stop what he's doing, pick the child up and leave. Whereas I will, we're not going. I've left shopping inside the car. I just let, we're going, we'll get in the car. As long as you haven't left your kid.

38:35Hannah:I think you're okay. My husband are actually very similar. Yeah. He'll do the same. It gets a bit much though. It's too much. Yeah, yeah. It does. It does. Would you rather your teenage daughter spent a thousand pounds on your card on a designer handbag or on a high street clothes? I think High Street I'd rather she spent High Street because she's 16 you don't really know the value of designer at that age so I wouldn't want her to get into that habit of just splashing on one item for so much money whereas High Street I can see how she got carried away especially with the grand if you took that into Primark you'd be kicked out for a couple of years and we won't have to buy her anything you gave your cards to your daughter the worst mistake I ever did how much did she spend?

39:18we'll be at home

39:19Hannah:And he'll be like, you know the ones I'm at? I've got them. Yeah, so every single, every time. And he'll be like, you've gone to Greg's and KFC in one day. You know what it is? I've actually, yeah, I've got one day. I gave her my card when she started year seven for emergency. I said, we'll give you money, but this is my card. Emergency, you might not get free to me. Use my card. That emergency became her every day. So now she like just randomly goes to McDonald's. She's like, I'm just seeing all those occasions. And I've told him, all you need to do is just put money on her card. Yeah. And let her limit it for the week.

39:49But this is where, this is where, as you say, I think the kids have got me, well, her anyway, my oldest one, she kind of got me like... I think both girls have. Like, do you know what I mean? Not just her. I'll tell her, look, tomorrow, give my car back. And I haven't seen my car since she was in your cell phone. He won't take it back. Because I'm like, you know, she needs it more than me. You know what I mean? I want it to be, when she's out, she knows that she's okay. You know what I mean? Both girls have got him rats around. I'll be honest with you. I'm not going to deny it. He thinks that they don't, but they do.

40:13In what way? What do they do? Do you ever go, no, because being a female, you're like, hold on a second. Like, would your dad have done that with you or? Um, I think so. So basically, this is like a family. Yeah, I just feel like, I don't know, I feel like because then my daughter, I've always told you from when I was younger, if I had girls, I'm gonna spoil them. Like they have to be well looked after. Like I'm always like, me and my oldest daughter and I were like best friends. Yeah, they get princess treatment. And what about your son then? That's what I was gonna say. But you are really, you're very playful with him.

40:43Yeah. Like you play a lot. They will like play WWE. On console, we're always like shouting and stuff. And you just like be quiet and nice. He's like, dad, can I have some Robux? And you're like, no, go get a job and earn it to your daughter. Do you want a grand? There you go. You want to sign a bag? Get yourself to Greg's, do what you want. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly, I try to be a fun dad. I try it because I feel like it's, you know, my dad was fun. I enjoyed my childhood. So I'm trying to do the same thing with my kids as well. So Louise, we've got six kids between us. So we'll drop them around in your hand.

41:08Yeah, exactly.

41:09Hannah:I really feel like - I mean, we've got four, so... Yeah, why not have another six? There you go. You know what I mean? Guys, thank you so much for being here. Thank you. We absolutely loved it. That's so much fun. You hear all the best with the baby. Thank you. You're going to absolutely smash it because you're doing brilliantly well. Your kids sounded remarkably amazing. Thank you. What you're doing is incredible. Thank you so much for being here. It is. And thank you for welcoming us into your family as well. Always, yes. Thank you. With senior content, it's amazing. Yeah, I can't wait to see the birth of the baby.

41:33Yeah. The Cubs family, everyone. Yay! Woo!

41:39Hannah:And if you're liking all things No Parental Guidance, please hit that subscribe button. And tell us all your gossip. We love it. No judgment here, ladies and men. See you next week. Bye. See you next week. Bye.