What Do I Need to Know Before Giving Birth? Sam and Alice Vanderpump Take the Labour Quiz

0:00Do you know what gets me through February? Wine? Yes, wine, but also booking a holiday. The minute I know something's in the diary, my whole mood lifts. Oh, same. It's that little boost that helps you survive the freezing school runs and bitter Saturday footy mornings. Which is why we're thrilled to have Jet 2 Holidays as our sponsor. Because nothing beats that just booked feeling with Jet 2 Holidays. Exactly. A low deposit now, something lovely to look forward to later, and suddenly a soggy school run feels more manageable. Are we ready? it's time to move into a little segment we've called the parent prep check okay this is the first one okay you are very special you two so sam and alice how much do you actually know about what happens when you get into the delivery suite okay so we're going to put your labor knowledge to the test with a quick fire round no cheating no calling auntie lisa for help are you ready i'm excited i'm actually nervous now i was like if you get this wrong you're gonna be parents right what is the plug the plug Louise you've had three kids you can't answer I'm so excited what is a plug what like plug something up up me okay let's just let's work this out logically plug something up I'm like is that something to do with the water birth or is it it's not a charger a plug that goes inside of Alice or a plug for like the water birth water or is it a monitor so essentially what you have is it's a mucus plug so oh yes i do so it's like basically like out the um it's a bit bloody and it comes out your oh yeah it's like the first sign of yeah so i'm gonna get like a mucus like one day i might have a lot of discharge and it might have blood in it and it's gonna be well it's like quite it's like a really thick if you think of like a like a gunji cobweb do you know what it reminds me of a fruit pastel but a gunkier bloodier yeah and then it's like oh I think the mucus plugs come out I remember on my third I was like I think the mucus plugs come out as if I knew what I was talking about are you okay hun yeah I think he actually just retched so that is something to like look out for you don't have to tell me everything you go through I actually do remember reading this because I thought I might be going into labour like last week because I had bad pains but I didn't have that because then the man the dad will eat it or drink it what and then it's really good for your dad you're joking are you kidding yeah I'm joking Jesus heaven are you wretched then 50 grand sell the mucus plug for 50 grand he's got it on ebay already imagine you did that to me and like I thought I had to and then I like came back and like we saw each other in a few months I went yeah I ate it was disgusting you were like that was a joke oh stop that'd be horrific you'd feel really bad then I wouldn't no for God that'd be great bad no that would be so cruel wouldn't it it would be mean this last told me right from Yorkshire right so next one what is the fishing net used for in the midwife suite?

2:59Scooping out poops. There you go. Cheesy. They literally couldn't care if you **** yourself, if you wet yourself. They've seen it all before, and more. I'm not concerned about the midwife seeing that. I'm just a bit concerned about Sam seeing me poo myself. How common is it for you to... It's nearly every time that you poo yourself, don't you? Well, you've got to imagine the baby's pressing down and compressing, so if there's anything in the bowel, it's like... I'm thinking, I don't know when the last time I went was, so there's probably a lot backstop in there. I only pooed the first time. But I was in water.

3:32Yeah, what do you do if there's just a lot of clothes up? You get a sieve. Yeah, husband's due to just to sieve it out. Yeah, but I didn't realise that I was pooing because you're pushing and you didn't know. And I remember saying to my husband, I was like, baby, can you stop farting? And he was like, you're shitting yourself. And I was like, okay. He's got a sieve. Yeah, there's a sieve. That is mortifying. Did your husband sieve it out? My midwife did. Oh, okay. But then she put it in a bucket. It's totally natural. And then my husband had to move the bucket. It's totally natural. And we laugh about it because it's like, nobody cares because you've got your baby.

4:04Yeah, but when you're in it, it doesn't matter. Like you literally, your whole self goes back to basics, nature, this is why I'm on this planet. It's like a primal thing. It's so primal. It's so animalistic that you don't care. It's only when you tell stories afterwards that you're like, yeah, you know, I think she said it came out like toothpaste. Oh. The poo, not the baby. yeah i gathered what is meconium and what color is it oh that's black and that's the first poo well done well done sam what is crowning that's when the baby's coming out the uh it's cervix it's literally your head's just coming out the head is coming yeah well done is that it no no what is vernix and what does it look like oh i do know this the white stuff stuff yeah it's the white wax on the baby that you don't some people say you should rub off straight away but a lot of people say you should leave on yeah because it's really good to protect the baby's skin isn't it that's why you don't bath the baby for like a week after midwives apparently so apparently they rub it off in hospitals straight away and you should be saying to your midwife no i want to leave it on as long as possible yeah there's a video of when i gave birth to my third i've got it all on video and it's beautiful i still love watching it but yeah the first thing the midwife does is wipe everything off the face.

5:18But I think she did it because she wanted me to see the face. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I wanted to kiss her. Yeah, I wouldn't mind it off the face. Some people have loads more than others, don't they? Some babies just have loads. And do you know why it's so good for the baby? And why they need it at the first few days? Oh, please tell me. Because their immune systems aren't developed and it helps fight off all the infections. Is that true? Yeah. Oh my God. I'm teaching you guys. You are teaching me. I didn't even know that. We've got six kids between us and we're like, really? Really? I didn't know that.

5:47God, maybe we could like take it off the baby, bottle it. And sell it. And sell it. Nice. We have created business ideas today. Yeah. This is fantastic. I'm a real entrepreneur, so. Let's talk. You're going to see me outside my flat with my stands, vermic stand, placenta stand. And I'm like 20 cards of placentas hanging off his back. Apparently it's also the 1950s where you still have stands outside your houses. Yeah, I like it. It's some lemonade as well. when you go down to the beach you'll open your jacket and there'll be like placentas and everything hanging out there I don't know what beaches there are in London but sure let's go to the River Thames can you imagine so that's it you've smashed that you're ready for parenthood I'm proud of us do you know how many more no that's it that's great some of these people would be like oh my god unless you've been to like a class you'd be like I don't know I read up so chocolate Chocolate.

6:43Woo! Chocolate. What are you doing? Just getting into the holiday spirit. But it's February. It might be February, but I've already booked my family summer holiday with Jet 2 Holidays, so I'm officially in full holiday mode. I mean, I was stumped on the plug, for sure. Yeah, the plug one was... Yeah. Yeah. I actually thought it was the thing to get these mucus out of the baby's nose and sinuses. Yeah. Well, that's something. But that's when the baby comes down the vaginal passage. Nice. It squashes everything to get all the mucus out of the baby. Nice. Mother nature, like the human body, a woman's body.

7:22I've got babies not in my vaginal canal when I'm giving birth. You've got a little tiny penis inside you right now. That's so... It's not the first time I heard. Are you joking? Sorry. But don't you like when people say, you know, I'll grow a pair. I have a pair, thank you. I've grown a pair. I love that I know that I've actually grown a pair. two actually it's like oh it's so exciting oh yeah that's great growing up here I have thank you very much yeah I have thank you and some girls can baby girls can leak what looks like milk out of their nipples or period and they can have a period yeah yeah what when they're born yeah oh well I mean honestly it's fascinating I find it fascinating I think I'd love to be a midwife I'd love to know so much you don't know yeah so much but then every baby's different so like all three of our labours have all been different to each other regardless of having the same gender or not They're just, you know, everything's different.

8:12What I loved during all my labours was having a bottle of spray water. Face mist. Yeah. And I had to have that. Through all the contractions, I had to have the face mist. And that was the one job that my husband had to do. I didn't quite get it right. So in the end, I just did it myself. Give it to me. Couldn't get that one right. I mean, I can't massage properly, apparently. No, you don't massage. That's the problem. But you're talking about the perineum. Like, that's quite an intricate massage. No, but I'm talking about my back. Well, yeah, you didn't do that right because I felt nails there.

8:47But you were like, why is he naked massaging my perineum? For God's sake. This is not sexual. If anything, he looked at me and discussed he didn't want to massage my perineum. It was... And you know that's true. And you're like, you're going to enjoy this. I went, no, I'm not. She looked like she was excited for the perineum massage. because I'm like I can't do it myself she was grinning from ear to ear like would you massage and I'm carrying it you are you are a liar I promise you this is the compulsive lying if I could have videoed it I would have did Andy do yours? no no Jesse didn't do I just had an episiotomy it's fine what is yours?

9:29yeah I don't know I don't know if you yeah I don't want to know yeah they just use a little blade oh my god but anyway what I mean is like it's it is the most amazing experience in your entire life and to hold something that is half of you and look at it and they have that gorgeous smell and they're so they're the most precious thing in your life and you've just done it like you've just and you'll feel like a superhero afterwards yeah it's the most amazing experience ever well i've never had a puppy oh so i don't know i would do it again if i could oh yeah give birth today i'd do it i 100 % would do it the um I mean, I know that everyone has different experiences and I do like to talk about positive births because I think it's really important to talk about it.

10:13My birth, honestly, I felt so powerful. You feel like an actual animal and you'll make noises you've probably never made before. You will sound like an animal. I'm properly mood. I can't wait to record this. I remember thinking I wanted my hair a certain way or I wanted, you know, whatever. and it just all goes out the window. You wanted your hair a certain way. Well, just I wanted it to look nice, you know, for pictures afterwards. Oh, that's so funny. But when you're in it, didn't care. Like, don't care. And the midwives don't care. And actually the pictures that I have got, you know, my hair is all over the place.

10:50Yeah, that's what I was about to say. I can't imagine your hair is in the best condition after giving birth. I have seen videos of people that like literally get their nails painted, do full face and makeup for the birthing process. I would not have the energy for that. No. Maybe after. Even then. Are you thinking of inducing the labour in any way? I would like him to come early. The things I've heard that you can do is have sex. That's not happening. Look at his face and straight away. Sex is that. I can do that. The other two I've heard is have a curry or a foot massage. And I would take either of those.

11:28You know, I think a walk. Yeah, but if you're going to have a number two, you don't want to be having a curry right that's true especially when you're talking about it that is so true maybe the foot massage then we'll get you a curry he honestly refuses to give me massage, it's so frustrating so frustrating, what is your opposition to it? she's so boring isn't it? do you know how much pain I'm going through carrying your child for however many months and you won't give me a massage? I've given you massages massage he'll like with his thumb rub for two minutes that's a lie you do it's not a lie are we talking about sex here are we talking about sex here as an excuse did you just take the mickey out of my laugh that's me I didn't at all but how it's like three women here like knowing about pregnancy I love the so we're like you should be giving her a bit of a massage actually And how do you feel about having sex while you're pregnant?

12:34Is that too, do you not want to answer? It's a no go for me. We were. Because some people get like, some women get really horny in pregnancy. And then some women are just like, oh, I'm not sure. And then a lot of guys are put off. It's only the latest stages. Yeah. And you are put off as well. Like you literally, you know you are as well. No, no, no. He said he gets weird about it. Like, and fair enough, it is a bit weird. And I don't, I honestly don't think there's much space in there anyway for anything else. It's when a guy says, oh, the baby might see my d***. You're like, David, it's not that big.

13:04Well, that's how babies get out of here. That's where dimples come from. No, I'm kidding. Wait, what did you say? That's where dimples come from. It's not. The pony. I think this has really actually helped me put my mind at rest a bit. I think I went into panic mode the last two days. What, those five questions? No, no, like, that's general. I'm ready to be a mum now. I nailed it. Like, not having a birthing plan, like, hearing it from two people that have had, like, multiple children, and I'm like, okay, this is good. I think you'll be fine. She doesn't listen to me when I say that, but you guys said it, it must be true.

13:36Have you birthed a child? In a previous life, maybe. But half the battle is having somebody with you that is doing horrendous dad jokes, keeping you happy. Are you sure? He'll just be, I feel like he's just going to laugh. Oh my God. Can we talk about the Robbie Williams viral video? What was that? Where his wife's giving birth and he's there singing his own songs. Oh my God. I've not seen that oh my god it's all over social media and I think maybe our algorithm is sending it to us and she's like looking at him like this and he really thinks that he's helping so she's in the middle of like having her contractions and he's blaring out his own song dancing and singing to it what's the song it's freaking hilarious let me go yeah yeah we can't see it and she's not enjoying it at all no no no it's so funny my mum actually sent it to me and went I think this is going to be you yeah no I was like that is the biggest insult ever oh my gosh I need to look at that then the last thing you want is your partner to be you know when you see dads that genuinely faint can you imagine how f***ed you are when the baby's like crowned and you're doing those pushes and he's like oh my god that would be the most irritating thing if we have any listeners I'm not going to say anything just imagine I'm not going to jinx it I would like to say something but I just don't want to jinx it I've really built you up here going oh you're going to be so funny you'll be great in labour and then actually it's like we're going to see on social media that you've been doing You'll be like, for f***ing so long.

14:58I do love those metaglasses. I've got a pair. They're really good. They're really cool. You're going to get a really good action shot of Alice's legs spread. Coming at you live on YouTube. Huh? Coming at you live on YouTube with my metaglasses. Oh my God. You can see the poo float up. Imagine that. Imagine live streaming. And not that we are going to. Somebody did. There was a live stream. I'm surprised that's not actually illegal. Because there's guidelines on social media. you can't throw like you can't show explicit content so I'm surely that is explicit yeah but what's wild it is explicit but actually it's the most natural thing in the world yeah and how like as soon as I got pregnant with all three I was like I need to binge watch One Born Every Minute yeah or the programme with Emma Willis yes watched all of those loved because you want to watch it and you're like this is amazing that makes me faint you're going to absolutely smash parenthood both of you 100 % you really are it's the most magical wonderful blessing Sam and Alice everyone

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16:22early before another parent gets there first.