I want to give back! How do I afford it?

0:28Hey there, it's Colby. So today I want to share an episode from another Washington Post podcast, Try This. Try This is a series of short audio courses hosted by my colleague, Christina Quinn. Christina is hilarious, and she loves helping people learn how to improve their lives. Her recent course is about giving. And in this second episode of that series, Christina talks to the Post's personal finance columnist, Michelle Singletary, about how to build charitable donations into your annual budget, and why it's so important that you do. After you listen, be sure to follow Try This in your podcast app.

1:06All right, here's the show.

1:16Hey, I'm Christina Quinn. Welcome back to Try This from the Washington Post. This is the second and final class in our course on altruism. In our first class, we spoke to Abigail Marsh about how the easiest way to be more altruistic is to just start, come up with a plan, and go for it. In this class, we're going to learn how to apply all that we learned in episode one through a practical financial lens. To help us with that question, I can't think of anyone more practical than this lady. I'm Michelle Singletary, and I am the personal finance columnist for The Washington Post. And it's fair to say Michelle has been thinking about money for a while.

1:59I've been cheap since I was a little person. My siblings used to borrow money from me, and I would actually threaten to charge them interest. They didn't pay me back one time. So I was born to do what I do. It started with me being a business reporter. So I covered bankruptcy and small business and banking. And honestly, the truth of the matter is I got the column because I talked about how cheap I was and how my grandmother taught me about money. And when my colleagues were going out for lunch, I would fuss at them. And I'm like, I'm going to sit right here, eat my bag lunch. You people go ahead and be crazy and spend all that money.

2:36And your grandmother, she's like sort of a central figure in your columns. Big mama, right? That's right. Big mama. Yeah. She passed away years ago, but she is a central character. I bring her up. Her legacy lives on. Yeah, it does. You know, I have to say, because I love your column, there are times when I am shopping or something and I'm like, oh, Michelle. Michelle would get mad at me if I would do this. Because you do have sort of like that tough love, no nonsense approach, which is so refreshing because you really do cut through the BS, which is why we wanted you on the show. And that said, you do make sure that there is room for charitable giving.

3:15Everybody has room in their wallet for that. And I would love for you to tell us, why do you say everyone's budget should include charitable giving? It's something that I deeply, deeply believe in because my whole existence actually started with charity. My grandmother took me and my siblings in. There was five of us. My older sister was eight. I was four. I had a sister who was three and twin brothers who were two. Our parents had a lot of issues. And my grandmother, basically, they were about to send us all off to foster care and split us up. And she said, no, bring them to me. Had it not been for my grandmother rescuing us, where would I be?

3:59Maybe not in such a great place. And so that has always motivated me. I have given to charity from the time that I earn money, either through money or my time. And so I do encourage people as part of their budget to build a charitable giving. Now, what I do say as a caveat is that you give out of your abundance. You give out of your extra. So you make sure you've taken care of your necessities, roof over your head, food on the table, your savings, and then you allocate that to charitable giving. And so for my husband and I, we tithe to our local church. My husband's a deacon. I'm not, because you know I cuss a lot.

4:39So we tithe 10 % of our income gross. I think before we move further, though, I think it would be really helpful if you could explain what tithing is. Sure. So for my faith, I'm a Baptist. It used to be you're in church all day long, not necessarily anymore. But it means that you give 10 % of your increase. And so it's from a scripture. But basically, whatever you earn, the first 10%, the fruits of your labor goes to giving. And in this case, your local church. So you can talk about it in the spiritual realm, but in a practical realm, it means that you are supporting the efforts of your church to serve the community.

5:20So my tithes, 10 % of my income, goes to those efforts. I think that's extraordinary. And I think that that's also really inspiring because, like you said, you have to prioritize the basic necessities, right? You've got to make sure you're paying your rent, paying your utilities, groceries, all that stuff. But it sounds like you're saying you're doing that before you do those things because you've already mapped out your budget, so you already know what you have to work with. Right. When you're a tither, that means you're left with 90%. It makes you real tight with your money because you want to make sure that that 90 % is doing what it needs to do.

5:56And I think it just imposes discipline. If you know that a key part of your budget is going to charity, I think that sets a different stage for your budget. And it introduces a level of gratitude that I didn't get to where I am just by my own divine. There were people along the way who helped me, who opened doors, who coached me, mentored me, let me cry on their shoulder. So it just puts you in a posture of saying, I am grateful for what I have, and I want to give back as part of this whole of earnings. We talk about people making sure that they have savings and they're investing for their retirement and sending their kids to college.

6:37And in that mix should be, how am I helping other people? One of my brothers who has since passed away had epilepsy. So I gave to the Epilepsy Foundation in Maryland, and I served on their board. And, you know, one of my daughters just got recently diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. And so we're probably going to add that to our charitable giving. I love that. And so for somebody who isn't a member of a church or any sort of congregation in general, they can still take on that philosophy and that approach because it really is at the end of the day. I mean, you can take the 10 % and pay it forward.

7:15I mean, I sometimes look at people's budget and they go, oh, I can't save or I can't really give. Then you look at that they're eating out. They've got four or five streaming services. And I just, you know, you'll get to choose, right? I'm not telling you you have to give. I think that's a personal decision. But I do know that there is a lot of need. And so around the holidays, everybody says, oh, I want to serve in a soup kitchen. I want to give. But you know what? People hungry all year long, y 'all. All year long. All year long. People need clothes all year long. People need formula all year long.

7:47And while it's wonderful that people think about it this time of year when we're recording this around Thanksgiving and leading into Christmas and Hanukkah and all those, but you got to make this a year-long passion to help people, I think. Commit to the bit. That's right. What about people who have debt, but they still want to give? Like, you know, they want to make sure that they pay off those bills, but, you know, make it less about them. So I wear two hats. So I'm about to answer that question in case my fast solicits. So I have two asks. I'm a ministry leader. So as a woman of faith, we believe that you tithe even when you have debt.

8:25That means you've got to really have a tighter budget to do both. And so when I talk to secular, maybe you're not religious, you definitely, again, want to take care of the most important things. You don't want the creditor because you owe your creditors and you should do all that you can to pay that back. So you have to incorporate it in your budget. So maybe you put the priority in terms of paying your bills and your debts and maybe you only have a dollar left or$10. Every charity I know will accept whatever you want to give at that level. And if you really don't have it, and many people don't, you don't even maybe have enough for maybe all of your rent and food.

9:12And then you can give up your time. And I think that's just as important. That was going to be my next question. Yeah. Yeah. Because time is money. Time is valuable. And yeah, I mean, if there are ways to give that don't involve cash, like you said, if you're cash-strapped, you can barely afford these bills, there's need year-round, right? So what are other ways you can give? What are your suggestions? So I hope I'm not staying on too preachy to people, but I personally - Well, you are the wife of a deacon. That's true, right? So just own it. Just own it. That's true, right? I actually got a t-shirt too that says - And a ministry leader.

9:47That's right. And I run a financial ministry at my church. So I walk this walk. I personally think that everybody should have some of their time devoted to giving to a charity or working. And I have believed that since I was a teenager. When I was a single woman and just had a little dog, I used to visit a nursing home with my dog. Because they found that a lot of times people in nursing homes, they don't necessarily connect with people, but they connect with animals. So I would take my dog to the nursing home a couple times a week. And some of the residents would talk to me and the dog, and some would pay me no attention and only focus on the dog.

10:26And that was okay with me. Leave the dog with me. Right. And so I just think that you should, if you're a parent, that part of the activities of your children should involve charitable giving, either through their allowance or their time. So it's just as important, particularly if you've got children. And my children were required to serve in something, food kitchen, giving back, teaching, tutoring, whatever. And so I just think that you ought to carve out time in your life. You're running your kids, all these soccer practices, and you're going to the movies, and you're sitting and binge-watching stuff.

11:04And that's fine. That feeds your soul in a different way. But my goodness, what a difference it would make if everybody carved out some amount of time to give to others. Right. Yeah. It's funny you say that. Just this week, my husband and I were just going through the pantry and thinking, like, oh, yeah, let's focus on food donation. and I said like we need to make sure that we take our kids with us when we do this so they actually see like this is what we're doing and this is why. So I love hearing you say that like yes, have your kids basically normalize it, right? From an early age. I love that.

11:42That's right. Normalize the giving of your time and your money. If they see you do it, because kids, you know, they're really sharp. You go like, oh, you need to do this. But if they don't see you doing it. They probably won't. It's so true. I think for so long and for so many years, religious organizations were often at the helm of charitable donations. And there are fewer people practicing faith than decades ago, right? Where do you suggest people go to find out where they can give? Well, you know, lots of us have employers who have projects in the community. So you can look around and see if there are any things that your company does.

12:26And so I would say start and see if you belong to a community group. Honestly, you could just Google charitable work in your neighborhood and all kinds of things. It's called the internet, Christina. No, no, but it's a good question because people kind of, if it's not in their face and it's not coming to them, they may not think about it. But if you make it part of who you are and your personal mission, I sort of think, I guess I probably do have a personal mission and vision statement for myself. And again, it stems back to my gratitude of my grandmother raising me and all the people who stepped into my life to help me when my parents were absent.

13:07And I just thought if it weren't for them, I wouldn't be here talking to you right now. And I just keep that in the forefront.

13:20There's clearly a lot of different ways to give, whether that's through time or money. And we all have different motivations to be altruistic. But how do we know if we're giving to the right place or the right amount? That's after the break.

13:54So in part one of this series, we talked about altruism and what it means to be truly altruistic. And so when it comes to charity, do you believe that any charitable giving is good, even if you're just doing it for the tax write-off or because, you know, social media peer pressured you into doing it? Yeah. That's such an interesting question. I've never been asked that before. I don't know. I think the charity's perspective, like bring their guilt money. I don't care. I think you give however you give. If you wanted to give for the tax break, you know what? Go ahead and give. I don't - Right. Because somebody is benefiting, right?

14:37That's right. Something is better than nothing. I would like to think that even if people are giving for just the tax break. Underlying it is still an effort to try to help somebody else because the tax break is a dollar for dollar. So you still aren't getting all of that money back in the tax break. So those of us who serve in the community will take it however we get it. If you give out a guilt, that's okay. That's okay. That's okay with me. you have written a lot about financial scams and i guess i how can we make sure that we're giving to a reputable charity so right now there's a lot of need in jamaica for people and you get this email or text message and you're like your heart leaves but i need you to leave from your heart and your head so before you give to anybody any charity please please check it out because you want your money to be used well, and you don't want it to fund a scammer because that emboldens them to cheat other people.

15:42And so if you're not sure how to do this, the Federal Trade Commission, if you go to ftc.gov, it has a tip sheet on how to check out a charity. You can go to the BBB, which stands for Better Business Bureau, Wise Giving Alliance Online, and they have a way for you to check out charities. And then Charity Watch also sort of rates charities and gives you an idea of how, if they're legitimate. So I just, listen, we've talked a lot about giving and maybe people are like, yeah, yeah, that's me now, I'm going to go. But please, please take time to make sure that the charity is legitimate. Don't answer any email, text message, anything you see online, shove that to the side, go directly to the source before you give in those ways.

16:28Even if some friends come at you, just say, you know, that's a good idea. Let me check that out and give and actually follow through, right? But I think it is important as givers that you make sure that you are giving to legitimate charities because you damage legitimate charities, right? If you don't take that time. And also you want to be sure that the charity is in the position to do what they need to do. Like you might have someone saying, I'm going to help people in Jamaica. They never helped nobody in Jamaica. They don't know how to get anything to Jamaica, but their heart is there, but they don't have the infrastructure.

17:05Well, actually, so yeah, I mean, on that note, what about GoFundMes? You know, there are a lot of GoFundMes. There's somebody who's like, oh, you know, I have a relative, you know, here in this country, like, you know, in this disaster. They could use all the help. I mean, what about that? I'm of two minds with those campaigns, right? Now, GoFundMe says they do a lot to check out and make sure people are legitimate. And I've done columns on that, and it does seem that they have a really robust system to make sure that when you give to a campaign, the person's actually raising for the people that they talk about.

17:38I think some people are too quick to go to CoFundMe when they haven't utilized other avenues. But if you see a campaign on one of those platforms and you've checked it out and it's legitimate and it's in your heart to give, then sure. Because sometimes things pop up that you weren't thinking about. And this happened recently with Jamaica, right? One of my friends is helping someone else collect clothing and toiletries and things like that. And so we're going, okay, that's not part of our regular giving, but there's a need that has arisen right now. And so when you come up with your charitable budget, you might actually set aside some funds for things that come up that is not part of your regular giving plan.

18:21Because there are times when people are coming at you and coming at you and you're like, oh my gosh, I feel overwhelmed. But now - Once you start, everyone knows. They come for you. They really do. That's right. And so if you've got a plan, you can say, well, you know what? These are the charities that I give to and this is not part of my charitable plan. And that way, when people keep coming at you, you can say no and not feel guilty or be guilted into giving when you already have a giving plan. Such great advice. So practical. I mean, this is your bread and butter. Planning and budgeting. You're like, guys, do that with your finances.

19:02Do that with your time. Because if you have the time, you just need to plan it and stick with it. That's right. That's right. If you're going to be serving in your community, you want to live up to those obligations. I mean, we're coming at the end of the year. I would say that could be one of your resolutions for the new year, I'm going to have a giving plan. And we have certain charities that we give to every year, public radio, we give to that. And that's on our giving sheet. I give back to my alma mater, University of Maryland at College Park. We, as I said, we tie in our church and I probably will be adding diabetes now to that giving plan.

19:40And so you can change it from year to year, midway through, you say, you know what? I see this charity, they're doing great work. Why and I add them to the plan. Listen, you guys, you have a budget. You have things that you do regularly. You give to Netflix and all I think. Add a charity to that, right? We have things that we pay every month religiously, no matter what. Why not add that to your budget? Be intentional. Be intentional about checking out in charities. Be intentional about giving. Be intentional about giving of your time. And I tell you, when you work in the community, when you work with people who are in need, when you work with people who are struggling, it creates a sense in your soul that I think makes you a better person.

20:26That connection, it really is important to have that connection. I'm so glad that you also donate to public radio. I'm a public radio alum. I guess you can see I'm actually wearing a radio shirt. I totally believe in it. We give to all In fact, in the D.C. area, there's like, what, three of you? There's a bunch of states. Right. And so we get to all of them. We're like, because we couldn't choose, right? We feel like we're so bad. So we're like, okay, we're going to give all three. And so. It's like, I can't have a favorite child. All of you guys. Yes. Yeah. No, I have a favorite child. Parents who say that, I don't believe it.

21:01We'll save that for another episode.

21:08All right. Recap. As Michelle put it, there's always a way to give. Whatever you decide, do it intentionally and within your means. Build charitable giving into your budget and give from your abundance after covering your essentials. Options include regular tithing or percentage-based giving. And put it towards causes that mean something to you. If you can't swing it financially, give time as a valuable alternative. This means volunteering regularly, not just during the holidays. We're talking food kitchens, tutoring, and helping community organizations. And if you're a parent, include your kids in service projects.

21:46Lastly, give wisely by choosing reputable avenues. Vet charities before donating. You can do this by searching BBB Wise Giving Alliance and Charity Watch. Be cautious with unsolicited requests, verify GoFundMe campaigns, or stick with organizations that have the infrastructure to deliver aid. And yes, I know you're excited to give, but do it within your means. Create a personal giving plan so you can say yes or no without feeling overwhelmed.

22:21Try This is produced and hosted by me, Christina Quinn, and Taylor White. Additional producing by Sharla Freeland. The show's editors are Thomas Liu and Kanya Krit von Kitkojorn. Sharla Freeland is also our video editor. Sound design and mixing is by Ted Muldoon and Sean Carter. Theme music is by Katherine Anderson. Show art is by Kati Wertis, with design editing from Christian Font and Greg Manifold. The things I learn on the show really do change how I move through the world, and I'd love to hear from you. Tell me what you took away from our course, and how you make altruism a part of your everyday life.

23:00Record a voice memo or drop me a note at trythisatwashpost.com. The email address again is trythisatwashpost.com. Thanks for listening.