Rob Reiner’s death and legacy

0:01From I'll have what she's having to you can't handle the truth, Rob Reiner's films gave us some of the most iconic movie moments of all time. He directed more than 20 films, including When Harry Met Sally, A Few Good Men, and The Princess Bride.

0:22On Saturday afternoon, Reiner and his wife, Michelle Singer, were found dead in their Los Angeles home. He was 78, and she was 70. Late Sunday night, their son, 32-year-old Nick Reiner, was arrested on suspicion of their murder. He's now being held in an L.A. correctional center without bail. The Reiners were Hollywood royalty. He an actor, director, her a photographer and a producer. They both were influential in Democratic politics and causes. And the news of their deaths have devastated both the entertainment and political worlds.

1:06From the newsroom of The Washington Post, this is Post Reports. I'm Kolbie Echowitz. It's Tuesday, December 16th. Today we speak to Post Features reporter Sonia Rao about the death of Rob Reiner, his cultural and political legacy, and how President Donald Trump responded to Reiner's passing.

1:34Sonia, thank you so much for joining me. Hi, thank you for having me. So, Sonia, I mean, when I heard about the details of the death of Rob Reiner and his wife, Michelle Singer Reiner, it's tragic and difficult to fathom. You and I were talking Tuesday morning. What do we know at this point about what happened? So we know that Rob Reiner, the filmmaker, and his wife, Michelle Singer Reiner, a photographer and producer, were found dead in their home in Brentwood neighborhood in Los Angeles. They were found Sunday afternoon Pacific time. We don't know exactly when their murders happened at this point.

2:16And I say murders because police are investigating this as a homicide. Right. In the immediate aftermath of this news spreading, it wasn't clear who the suspect was. There were rumors flying around about a disturbed family member, perhaps. Now we do know that the Los Angeles authorities are looking into their son, actually, Nick Reiner, who has struggled with substance abuse issues in the past that has definitely put a strain on their relationship. And they've been very open about that. Yeah. Tell me a little bit more about Nick's relationship with his parents. And I don't know if there's been a discussion of motive.

2:51There definitely has not been a public discussion of motive from him, at least. In terms of what they, you know, both parents and son have talked about publicly in the media, they made a film together, Rob Reiner directed. Nick co-wrote the screenplay for it based on his own experiences. Being Charlie, right, is the name of that movie? Being Charlie is the name of the film. They've had a very tumultuous relationship. Starting from, you know, his teen years, Nick was using. He was in and out of rehab facilities. He's been open, even sitting next to his father in interviews, about the fact that he didn't always feel like that was the best treatment for him.

3:26One of those interviews was with Access Hollywood in 2016. I was like, okay, I'm pretty bored of this. It wasn't like I want to go back to be around. I was like, I'm sick of this cycle, this using drugs, it being so temporary to fix, then going back into a place for months on end, then getting out and just, you know, rinse, wash, repeat. This being my life. Yeah. I think it built some resentment at times, but they would make up, right? They would make up, they would fight, they would make up again. And I think that, you know, a lot of people who are familiar with addiction and substance abuse issues can relate to that relationship.

4:02And I think that's part of why they were so open about it. You know, it's not an easy ride, especially not for the parents and not for the person using. And so I think they were trying their best to take care of their kid. And so I think this was really shocking, both to the public and those who knew the Reiners as well. Because when they did their movie Being Charlie Together, which was about a famous person and his son's drug addiction, they talked about how it was healing in many ways to work on that film together. Because it opened up a lot of those wounds, a lot of the, you know, the conversations that maybe they hadn't had about how Nick felt that, you know, maybe the therapies and the rehab weren't the best course of treatment, that he wasn't maybe getting the support that he needed at the time.

4:50Yeah, and I think there's a line in the film that both the Reiners, you know, both father and son kind of narrowed in on, especially Rob Reiner. When discussing this film, I'm paraphrasing here, but it amounts to, you know, I'm sorry that I only listened to the people with the medical degrees who told me they knew was best and didn't listen to you, my son. I'm sorry. Every expert with a desk and a diploma told me I had to be tough on you. But every time we sent you away to another one of those programs, I saw you slipping further away from us. And I think, again, that's just a story that I'm sure resonates with so many families.

5:31I think Nick was saying, you know, my parents didn't know what to believe. They didn't know whether to believe me or to believe these medical professionals saying I was manipulating them. And it's just it's such a difficult situation to hear people talk about. And they put it out there. You know, they did that in a movie. Right. Right. And I know that you said that we don't know specifically what the motive was, but there has been reporting that Rob and his son had an argument over the weekend. What do we know about that? Yes, there have been multiple sources stating that they had some sort of argument that was audible to others at Conan O 'Brien's Christmas party, which is an annual event, I believe.

6:10And so that was the night before their bodies were found. That was Saturday of this past weekend. That's all we know. I don't think there are any details just yet on what they were talking about, why the fight escalated to the point where others were aware of what was happening. But, you know, there was an indication that maybe their relationship was not in a great place right now. Yeah. I mean, Rob Reiner was a legend. And I want to spend some time with you talking about the impact that he had on our culture, on movie making. I mean, When Harry Met Sally, which is one of my all-time favorite movies, it's considered one of the best romantic comedies of all time, right?

6:51I mean, he set the tone for maybe every romantic comedy to come. Let's walk through, you know, his cultural legacy. Yeah. I mean, I think it's almost hard to pick titles when you talk about Rob Reiner. Because, I mean, I think you can say it starts with Spinal Tap, right? And you look at the mockumentary genre, what would that look like without this rock band mockumentary, right? Spinal Tap, and this is the 80s we're talking about. There's been so much since that's been influenced by him. But even before that, you know, Norman Lear, who made All in the Family with Rob Reiner as an actor, he was a big reason that Spinal Tap got made in the first place.

7:31So we're talking TV legacy. We're talking comedy legacy. We're talking film legacy, right? The West Wing would not exist if not for the American president, which Rob Reiner directed. Also one of my favorite movies of all time. Exactly. So I think, you know, there's his works. There's A Few Good Men. There's Stand By Me, of course. Yes. The Princess Bride. The Princess Bride. There are these incredible, iconic titles. And then there's also his legacy, which shows up in other people's work. And I think a huge part of Rob Reiner's legacy is that, you know, there are a lot of folks who speak to the fact that they met him once.

8:02They met him twice and they were impacted. You know, they were changed. I was actually just thinking about his appearance in The Bear, which happened this year. That's right. Right. He shows up. I didn't know he was showing up. And I went, what? Rob Reiner's in the show? Yeah. But, you know, I was on Instagram yesterday and Iowa Debrey was posting about him saying, you know, I only met him briefly on this set, but this man influenced me in an immeasurable way. You know, he's why I wanted to do comedy. He's why I wanted to do this. It's so true that he did kind of have cameos in so many things from Sleepless in Seattle to Curb Your Enthusiasm to New Girl with Louis Deschanel.

8:40Like he played her dad. Was that his reputation that he just kind of would agree to come on and do these things for other people in the industry? I mean, I have to imagine there was some sort of interest vested in the characters he was playing. But he did, you know, by all accounts, just seem like a guy who wanted to support other people's art. Yeah. And, you know, you can see that in the interviews and photographs of him always smiling, almost always beaming in photographs. He comes from a family in entertainment. Right, of course. In some ways, you know, he's a son of Carl Reiner. Yes, maybe he was born for it.

9:12But I think, you know, he really fostered that spirit in so many collaborators and so many fans who maybe never even met him that, you know, were lucky that he did what he did. Yeah. Let's talk about his wife, Michelle Singer Reiner. Tell me about her. Yeah. So they met in the 80s, late 80s. Rob was previously married to Penny Marshall, also a beloved actress and director. They met on the set of When Harry Met Sally, actually. She was working as a photographer at the time. You know, I don't think he was expecting to fall in love with her. I don't think he was expecting to fall in love at all at that point.

9:45And a spoiler alert, I guess, for those who still haven't seen this movie, which I would suggest remedying, the original ending of this film was supposed to end with best friends not getting together. You know, Harry and Sally were not supposed to end up together. But Rob Reiner meets Michelle, his future wife, and says, you know what? I think we should change it. I think men and women can fall in love and be friends at the same time. Yeah, and love is real. And love is real and it endures. And he ended up changing the end of that film. I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

10:25And I don't know what When Harry Met Sally would have been without that ending, right? I don't know if it would have endured the same way. Maybe it would have. I don't want to discredit Nora Ephron's screenplay, which is brilliant. But it is an ending that, like, sticks with you forever. Absolutely. Forever. So I just I can't imagine how special it was to have that permanent, you know, memory. She also I read she was the photographer that took Donald Trump's photo for his 1987 book, The Art of the Deal. Now talk about things that are seared in your mind, like that image of Trump on the cover of that book, I feel like is seared in the mind of so many people.

11:03That's fascinating. It really is when you look at what the relationship between President Trump and this couple became down the road. I mean, there's so many instances like that in life, but learning of that was especially eerie to me.

11:24After the break, the Reiners' social and political impact, and President Trump's shocking response to their deaths. We'll be right back.

11:41Good journalism is even better when it's shared. With a premium subscription to The Washington Post, you get three extra accounts to share with friends and family, so they can stay informed, too. Right now, you can get a premium subscription to The Post for$6 every four weeks. Just$6 unlocks trusted reporting to share with other people in your life. After your first six months, it'll cost$19 every four weeks. You can cancel anytime. Head over to WashingtonPost.com slash subscribe and get premium access to The Washington Post today. That's WashingtonPost.com slash subscribe. So obviously Rob Reiner had a huge impact on our culture.

12:23But he and his wife were also incredibly active in social causes, democratic politics. What were some of the things that they cared most about? I would say the hallmark achievement of Rob Reiner and Michelle Singer Reiner, who also helped with this, was helping overturn Prop 8, this piece of legislation that banned gay marriage in California. Which then kind of led to the Supreme Court case that legalized gay marriage across the country. Yeah. So I'm not saying they're single-handedly responsible for anything, but that was a huge piece. They were also really prominent Democratic donors. Yes. As I understand it, and I remember this from my years covering politics, they held fundraisers for Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama.

13:04They were just very much of that world. And, you know, after the news of their death spread, this isn't unusual for any major figure, but there was a lot of outpouring of support and expressed grief from those Democratic politicians that knew them on a personal level. You know, and also, Sonia, you alluded to the fact that they were critics of President Trump. Rob Reiner consistently was warning that Trump was a threat to democracy, to the rule of law. I know that was true in Trump's first term. Did he continue to be that outspoken in the last year? I would say it was especially during the first term, but that's continued.

13:45There's such an aspect of comedy where comedians, you know, are kind of one of the folks who speak truth to power in many ways. And I think Rob Reiner was a big supporter of that. I think he believed in using his platform to espouse his beliefs. And so that to me, that spirit did seem, you know, to be with him right until the end. I mean, and Rob Reiner obviously had this idealized version of politics. You mentioned the American president, which was the inspiration then later for the West Wing. Both of those, that movie and that TV show, show this ideal version of what a president should be or could be.

14:25And there's the famous monologue at the end of The American President when Michael Douglas talks about what leadership looks like. America isn't easy. America is advanced citizenship. You've got to want it bad because it's going to put up a fight. So I imagine that that's always been a part of who Reiner was. Yeah. And I think even, you know, in terms of leadership, being a director, you are leading a set. Yeah. Right. You have department heads who are working under you. You have people working under them. You know, you're the boss. And so I think he understood what it meant to be an empathetic leader in many ways.

15:04Yeah. Again, the responsibilities are entirely different when you're talking about an actual politician versus a director on a film set. But there are parallels. And all of his collaborators, especially, you know, as they're grieving him. But even before that, when they were doing interviews just about working with him when he was still with us, very open about the fact that he was a thoughtful leader and always put his people first. Yeah. And I think that translates to the way he looked at the world at large. I mean, speaking of Trump, the president posted about the Reiner's death in a way that stood in pretty stark contrast to what the other past presidents and other condolences that poured in yesterday.

15:43I wanted to read you a part of what President Trump said on his social media network. He said that Reiner and his wife were killed, quote, reportedly due to the anger he caused others through his massive unyielding and incurable affliction with a mind crippling disease known as Trump derangement syndrome. Then later Monday in the Oval Office, some reporters asked Trump about this and Trump doubled down. Well, I wasn't a fan of his at all. He was a deranged person as far as Trump is concerned. Trump posts a lot of shocking things about his perceived political enemies, but this feels particularly awful.

16:22And there's been some really strong reaction to this post. What have you seen people saying about it? I mean, I would say folks on both sides of the aisle, if we're still referring to the aisle these days, were shocked by that. I think it's startling to see the president of the United States share such words about such a tragic incident. There's a level of disbelief I felt reading that, despite, you know, having seen previous posts of his that are along those same lines about different incidents. I think everybody was very surprised by the tenor of that post. You know, it's no secret that Reiner wasn't a fan of Trump and vice versa as a result.

17:03But I think this was really a moment of shock for everyone. I mean, even if somehow you escaped Rob Reiner's filmography and haven't seen any of his TV shows or films or any of his appearances, I think you can look at what happened. You can look at the facts of what happened and say, wow, I can't believe our president is posting that. Well, and making what it seems like a situation within a family that turned incredibly tragic into something that is about him when it does not appear that their murders had anything to do with their opposition. Yes. To Trump. And there has been no indication of that at all from police or, you know, any sources yet.

17:50Well, Sonia, thank you so much. I know that I'm going to spend my weekend rewatching When Harry Met Sally for the millionth time and just remembering all that Rob Reiner gave us. So, yeah, I'll be doing the same. Thanks for joining me. Thanks so much.

18:09Sonia Rall is a features reporter for The Post. Right before we were set to publish this episode, the L.A. County District Attorney announced in a press conference that Nick Reiner is being charged with two counts of first-degree murder for the alleged killing of his parents. He could face life in prison without parole or even the death penalty.

18:34That's it for Post Reports. Thanks for listening. We are so grateful to have you as a listener. Now we want to learn more about your listening habits and how you think we can be better. We've got a new survey that we're running for a limited time, and we would love to hear from you. It shouldn't take more than 10 minutes to complete. To do that, you go to washingtonpost.com slash podcast survey. Again, that is washingtonpost.com slash podcast survey. When you're done, you can enter to win a$100 gift card. So one more time, if that got your attention, that is washingtonpost.com slash podcast survey.

19:11Today's show was produced by Sabi Robinson. It was mixed by Sam Baer and edited by Peter Bresnan. Thanks to editor Jonathan Fisher. I'm Kolbie Echowitz. We'll be back tomorrow with more stories from The Washington Post.

19:47Good journalism is even better when it's shared. With a premium subscription to The Washington Post, you get three extra accounts to share with friends and family, so they can stay informed, too. Right now, you can get a premium subscription to The Post for$6 every four weeks. Just$6 unlocks trusted reporting to share with other people in your life. After your first six months, it'll cost$19 every four weeks. You can cancel anytime. Head over to WashingtonPost.com slash subscribe and get premium access to The Washington Post today. That's WashingtonPost.com slash subscribe.