The trick to making New Year’s resolutions stick

0:01Maggie, have you heard my approach to resolutions? I have not. Please tell me. So every year, I just make so many New Year's resolutions. So I have like 30 resolutions every year. Oh, my God. It's like a whole page of that. And then when I look back at the end of the year, I'm like, OK, well, at least I did like four or five. So there's some success there. All right. But I think last year was particularly bad for me.

0:28You're hearing me talk with reporter Maggie Penman, a familiar voice on Post Reports, as host of our weekly Optimist podcast. Today, we're talking about New Year's resolutions. Maybe you love making them. Maybe you loathe them. Either way, I have not been feeling so great about achieving resolutions lately. I was looking back through my 2025 resolutions. I had read 20 books, 15 books before baby, five books after baby. Definitely did not happen. I also, the one that I think is the most indicative of my, like, incredible hubris going into this was I was going to meditate 1 ,000 minutes in 2025.

1:12And I looked back and I meditated for 24 minutes the whole year. OK, so I have some thoughts about this. I brought Maggie in because she has discovered some research-backed strategies that she says can really help us hack our resolutions to actually succeed at them, no matter how disappointed you might feel about your previous attempts. First of all, I think it's great that you're setting resolutions. Thanks, Maggie. What I have learned in reporting on this is that setting resolutions, even if we don't meet them, is actually really good for us. It makes us more likely to improve. So maybe you didn't meditate for a thousand minutes, but you meditated for 24, which is more than I meditated for, I can tell you.

1:59So really it was a win for 2025. Right? Like, I think, you know, whatever the bar is, you are working towards something, which is really helpful. But I also will tell you I have some, like, gentle feedback on some of those resolutions because I've talked to some researchers about how we can reframe to set ourselves up for success, and they have some really helpful tips. Well, I can't wait to hear them.

2:24From the newsroom of The Washington Post, this is Post Reports. I'm Martine Powers. It's Thursday, January 8th. Today, the case for New Year's resolutions. I talk with Maggie about how to trick ourselves into making them stick, according to science, in 2026.

2:50Hi, Maggie. Welcome to the show. Thank you for having me on. So we're here today talking about New Year's resolutions. And I think perhaps the fact that I struck out with all my resolutions last year is... Let's not say struck out. Let's say, you know, you're still working towards some of these goals. Needs improvements, okay. But I think that that's how a lot of people feel about resolutions, that they're sort of bound to fail, that there's not really a purpose in making them at all. And then it's like, you know, everyone says they're going to go to the gym and eat healthier. And then, you know, three days later, all of these goals have been abandoned.

3:25So what is the case that you're making for why resolutions are actually a good thing that people should be doing? So I think you're right, first of all, that we often fail at our New Year's resolutions. I actually just learned that tomorrow is Quitter's Day. The second Friday in January is like the day when many people have already given up. Wait, this is a thing? Yes. Quitter's Day? Yes. It's like the day by which a lot of people have already given up, which I find amazing because I haven't even started. Like, I have ideas for what I want my resolutions to be, but I'm still working up to them.

3:56But some people are already dead. I feel like we should just end the conversation there. Forget about it. People are like, I'm out. I'm out.

4:11So you're right that a lot of times we don't meet our goals. But what I learned from the researchers that I talked to for this story is that setting goals is still helpful. because even if you don't accomplish all of the things you set out to do, even making some progress towards your goals is still great. And they had some really good advice on how we can do better.

4:37Yeah, let's dive into that. Like, I would love to start with just conceiving of the goals in the first place. I mean, as you said, like you haven't decided on your goals for this year. I'm still working on my list of 30 is a lot to get through. It's a lot. You're going to be working on those for a while. So how do you actually make the goals better? So one of the things that the researchers suggested, first of all, is you're much more likely to actually fulfill your goals if they are enjoyable for you in the moment as opposed to just something you long-term aspire to. So I think this is where a lot of us get into trouble because we're like, oh, I'm going to like save so much money.

5:16I'm going to go to the gym every day. I'm only going to eat salmon and vegetables. I'm never going to eat another cookie again. And it's like those aren't really realistic goals. And they also aren't goals that are particularly fun to work towards. So what I heard from researchers is it's not that we should set different goals, but we should just think about how to reframe them and think about how to practice them in ways that will actually be enjoyable. Can you give an example of what that looks like? Because I feel like when you say fun goals, I'm like, the fun goal would be eat more cookies.

5:51Right. And it doesn't seem like that's what we need to be doing. Right. So one thing they suggested that I found really useful is like, it's really hard to enjoy avoiding something. So if your goal is like, stop eating cookies, like, that's just going to be kind of a bummer of a goal. But if your goal is eat more fruit for dessert, then suddenly you have this like enjoyable, delicious goal to look forward to. And you can look forward to those strawberries and raspberries and blueberries. And like maybe you sometimes eat a cookie too, but you're still working towards your goal of eating more fruit.

6:26Interesting. So it's more additive that it's like have more of this thing. And you like this thing because fruit is great. Right. The cookies will solve themselves. Yes. Yes. And the thing that I always think about when I think about this research is like for years and years and years, I tried to make myself be a runner. And every year. I feel like we've talked about this before. Every year I was like, this is going to be my year. I'm going to sign up for a race. I'm going to join a running club. Like I'm going to make myself a runner. And it turns out I don't like running. And so rather than trying to make myself a runner, what I realized is like I need to lean into the kinds of exercise I actually do enjoy.

7:06and suddenly it's not this thing that I need a ton of willpower to make myself go do. If I want to go like dance to music with people in a room, like that is something I look forward to and enjoy. Interesting. So in some ways it is about also not just reframing the goal, but making sure that the goal actually like fits with a life that you will enjoy in the future. Exactly. So one of the researchers put it in a way that really resonated with me. Aielit Fischbach at the University of Chicago, who studies behavioral science, said that we tend to have a very robotic view of our future selves. Me right now is doing what's fun and engaging.

7:47But me next month, she's going to do what's good for her. She's going to have it together somehow. Exactly. Yes. So we do find that the future self is much, we have much less empathy to that person than the person we are now. We're like me now. I love cookies and Netflix. But like me in the future, I'm going to be this like totally different person. And so think about yourself now and what you enjoy doing. And are there ways you can lean more into the things that are good for you, that you enjoy, and maybe lean away from the things that don't long term make you feel good? That's really smart.

8:29What else is there in terms of how you can make goals better and actually make this whole resolution thing work for you? So another one that I really liked is what I think of as the buddy system. So this is one that works for me. I feel like I am very motivated by other people. And if I decide to go to the gym with someone, then I know my friend is there waiting for me and I don't want to stand them up. There actually was some great research about this. Cynthia Kreider and her colleagues at Wash U in St. Louis did a study where basically they asked people to sign up with a friend and they either were assigned to a group where they just had to show up at the gym and they would get a dollar for every day that they did that.

9:15And then there was another group where you had to show up at the gym with your friend to get your dollar. So you would think like, okay, wow, that's like a big logistical hurdle to have to do to match your schedule with someone and coordinate and both get there at the same time. But the people who had to show up with a friend went to the gym 35 % more frequently. So interesting. It actually really works to commit to something with a friend. So again, like... Because I was thinking about the, yeah, like the logistics of that. Oh, you know, but what happens if something comes up at work and then I'm going to go to the gym a little bit later than I would have otherwise.

9:47And then I have to like text this person and feel responsible to them. And I don't need another person in my life depending on me to do things. Yeah. But I think it works for a couple of reasons. One is this commitment device, which is basically, you know, your friend's going to be waiting for you. You want to show up for them. You have a little bit of accountability there, right? You're not just letting yourself down. You're letting your friend down. And like, I personally find that very motivating as a people pleaser. So it's like, how can we use our neuroses for the power of good?

10:21And then I think the other part of it is it's just more fun to do things with friends. Like, you're going to have a better time if you're going on a walk with a friend rather than going for a walk alone, probably. So I think that's added incentive. That's a great idea. After the break, how to use a trick called temptation bundling to make dreaded tasks delightful. Plus, Maggie and I workshop our own 2026 resolutions with this newfound wisdom. We'll be right back.

11:37So Maggie, we're talking about resolutions, why they fail, how they can be better. One thing that I've thought about in the past that I don't know if you endorse as a strategy is bribery. Like if I can bribe myself to do this thing. Of course I love bribery. This is the only way I ever get my daughter in her stroller. Did that come up in your research on this at all? Like the idea of bribing yourself, getting other people to bribe you? Absolutely. So this researcher, Katie Milkman, who is a professor at the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania, basically realized that she was bribing herself into exercising.

12:15She was a former athlete, but when she was in grad school, she was just having a really hard time motivating herself to go to the gym. And she realized that she could make herself go if she only let herself listen to Harry Potter audiobooks while she was at the gym. So, like, suddenly— Like, she takes the thing that she really wants to do that's the guilty pleasure or whatever. And that she pairs that with the thing that she doesn't really want to do that much. Exactly. And she calls this temptation bundling. And she has studied it. It's so delicious. A temptation bundle. Yeah, just like bundle in some temptation, something really lovely with the thing that you know you need to do, right?

12:52So she suggests, you know, like if there is like a TV show that you really enjoy watching, like maybe you only watch it at the gym. Or if you know you need to write your will or make a budget, can you just like have the most delicious meal while you do it? Or if you know you need to spend more time with, you know, a relative or a neighbor, can you invite them to do something you know you're going to really enjoy anyway? That's a good idea. I'm already having. So Martine's relatives are going to know when they get invited to a really nice restaurant what's happening here. We'll not name names. But just to be clear, I mean, I know that there is a certain amount of reframing that you're suggesting.

13:35but I think there's just some things that we have to get done that kind of suck. What is your advice for things that you want to get done this year, that you want to make sure happen but are just not fun parts of life? Yeah, this was something I really liked, a piece of advice from Katie Milkman. And she does say that this time of year is a time when a lot of us feel motivated to make changes in our life. And rather than trying to change your life for the whole year or, you know, like trying to really reshape your whole life, what can you do that takes advantage of that moment? So she said, you know, this is a great time of year to like schedule a colonoscopy, get a mammogram, like do these things that you know you need to do that aren't going to be the most fun things.

14:23But you're feeling a little more motivated than usual to like take your health seriously this time of year. So this is a great time of year to check those boxes, get those things done. And then the rest of the year you can, you know, relax a little bit knowing that you've gotten that done.

14:40So Maggie, maybe you can help me troubleshoot some of my goals for this year that I've been at least pondering putting on my extensive list. And I'm thinking like, OK, what's number one on the list? I think my big priority is stop going to bed so late. Like that's I just feel like 11, 1130 midnight. I'm like, why am I up this late? How would you think about me kind of maximizing my chance for success with the with the stop going to bed late resolution?

15:15OK, so I would start by reframing it as a positive. So can you think about getting to bed earlier rather than stopping doing something? The research basically found that like even though that's a subtle reframe, it actually does matter if you phrase your goal as avoiding something versus like moving towards something. Oh, interesting. Enjoy. Yes. Falling asleep at 9 p.m. Exactly. Well, the next thing I was going to say is like how can you make your bedtime routine as like delicious as possible? Like can you get yourself some like fuzzy socks that are going to be so cozy to put on? Can you get yourself a little sound machine?

15:54Like one of the pieces of advice I've heard from sleep experts is like put yourself to bed the way you would put your baby or your toddler to bed. So you probably have the like the loveliest little routine for your child, right? Where like he gets a bath, he gets his little jammies, he's read a story and then like he has a sound machine and like a perfect little nightlight. And like can you put yourself to bed the same way? I would love for somebody to read a story when I go to bed. Well, that's what podcasts are, right? That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So like, yeah, can you make a little routine for yourself and build in time for just a little bit of like self-care and make it into something that you look forward to?

16:31Yeah, that's a great idea. What are your resolutions that you're at least thinking on for the coming year? So one of my big ones this year is I really want to start volunteering regularly again. This is something that used to be a big part of my life and then lots of things got in the way. And I have not been volunteering at all recently. So as I was thinking about this goal with this research in mind, I was texting a friend of mine who I know volunteers regularly for a great organization in D.C. And I was like, hey, like, can I come with you next time? And I think that's a way to make it social, make it something that I know I will enjoy because I enjoy hanging out with this person.

17:11And then also, again, there's like that little bit of accountability, a little commitment device to. You don't want this person to think, oh, Maggie is a flake. Really letting me down. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. So I think, you know, in thinking about your goals, I wonder for your goals, if there are ways to make them fun. Like you mentioned you want to read more. Like, what are the guilty pleasure books that you're like, oh, well, I don't want to read more of that. I want to read more important books. Like let yourself read whatever it is you are most drawn to. Or like, what are the ways that you can make these goals things that are like actually going to sound fun to you in the moment as opposed to goals that are like, oh, what a drag.

17:48I have to like go do my homework and like read all these important books and, you know, eat all these vegetables. It's like, well, are there ways that this could actually be a really pleasurable thing?

18:02Maggie, thank you so much for sharing all of this wonderful advice. I'm here for you and I'm happy to be your accountability buddy if you want. We can text each other about our resolutions. Text me next month and be like, have you volunteered yet? 100%. I will do that. I'm putting that in my calendar right now. Thank you.

18:23Maggie Penman is a reporter with The Post's Optimist section, covering hopeful stories about humanity. You can hear her stories and post reports every week. Today's episode was produced by Alana Gordon and edited by Dennis Funk. It was mixed by Sam Baer. Thank you to Alison Klein and Teresa Tamkins.

18:44If you like what you heard in today's show, we'd love to hear about it. Send us a message at postreports at washpost.com. And of course, we'd love if you leave a review on your podcast app, which helps other people discover all the good that's happening on our show. I'm Martine Powers. We'll be back tomorrow with more stories from The Washington Post.

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