GIRL CHAT: No Filter w/ Fi: GLP-1s, Motherhood & the Hard Conversations

0:00Okay Fi, welcome back to the show. Thank you. How's Fi's Ozempic journey going? I was feeling so good. And I was just like, I think I can go off of it. So I went off of it and oh my God. The food noise came back. Like I can't even describe. Have you seen that viral video of the girl that said the 160 thing? Act your weight. I'm over 160. 160, I look lean, dude. Fi came over to help me with Kai, which she's been doing so much and I'm so grateful. He's a very smiley baby. He smiles at everyone. I'm like, Kai, we're in a bad mood today. And he's like, he's just the joy of my whole life. Everyone's asking how our friendship has evolved since leaving Bloom and me becoming a mom.

0:40I'll be honest. This is the Pursuit of Wellness podcast, and I'm your host, Mari Llewellyn.

0:50Did you listen to Kylie yet? I have not watched the whole episode, but I have been tuning in on TikTok. I'm 15 minutes in. I'm obsessed with Kylie Jenner. I want to be her best friend. oh she's such a girl she needed to do this sooner i know because i think she's just been like like unapproachable yeah just from social and like the way she came off yeah and now i'm obsessed she is like this is what jake shane said on the interview he was like you are like the prettiest most popular girl in school that we're all kind of intimidated of but when we talk to you you're like i love your skirt yeah like you're like actually mean it not regina georgia sexy she I was like, you're a thirst trap.

1:26I'm obsessed. Yeah, he was like, you saw that? Like, that would have been my reaction. It makes me wonder what else Kylie Jenner sees on Instagram. You know? I'm wondering if she's had a bloom. She definitely has. She has definitely seen a photo of you. That's crazy. Like, I can confirm that, like, for sure. But I feel like she's, I feel like she's had an energy drink. Yeah, probably. Or elite, because we've worked with stars. Right. And she definitely drinks them, I'm sure. Yeah. I'm obsessed. She is like, if I could... give someone a bloom she would be my first choice i said this in a meeting the other day i was like i need kylie i think you could get her i think she just crossed the boundary from untouchable celebrity to like a girl's girl influencer who we can all kind of like like we feel like we're friends with her yeah that's why i felt listening even to the little clips i love her i really want to be her friend okay fee welcome back to the show thank you i don't think i've been on in like a year no i mean i've barely been on in a year like the last was the last time i came on my issue your vagina issue yeah that was last june that was literally almost a year ago that was we are fully recovered from guys if you haven't listened to that episode please go back that was the craziest thing that's ever happened to you yeah bartholin sis is no joke but she's gone she never came back but let it be known I actually did my first spin class again last weekend because I kind of thought I read that spin can kind of like irritate things down there do you think that was the reason you got it no I think there were other reasons we don't have to go into this but I think there were other reasons but I do think the spin like irritated it a little bit and I was doing it a lot but I spun the other day and I was totally fun I spun okay and the whole impetus of fee being on the show today is so classic of where I'm at in my life right now because I'm just kind of in a disarray in general but Fee came over to help me with Kai which she's been doing so much and I'm so grateful like obsessed with her baby Fee is loves babies ever since I met Fee she's been like I'm ready to be pregnant immediately like she loves babies she's so good with him she is quite literally the only person that I like this is horrible for me to say but like the only person And I really trust other than my nanny.

3:42Thank you. To have Kai. I'm honored. Like Fee puts him down for naps. She gives him bottles. She burps him. Like you do the hug. Well, I ask. I'll like be at Mari's and she'll be like, like, and I'm like, no, I want to do it. She's a grief share. I'm like, no, I want to do it. She does the stuff that isn't fun. And I'm like, are you sure? I told her I'm like, Kai's playing as a mom right now. Until I can be a mom. She has Kai on her hip and is like walking around. But it's really cute because you and I have like spoken about Kai in a way forever. like since we met it's crazy i still look at him and i can't believe can't believe he came out of you can't believe like i can't fathom that but he also looks just like me now yeah he's getting more and more like me also wait guys look if you're watching on video my friend taylor made this this morning taylor made it it is so spot on can we like zoom in on this kai is daniel craig if you really okay so he really is my dad use when he was younger like looked like daniel craig times Colin Firth.

4:39I think he still resembles him. Yeah. I see it. I definitely see it. Because I always say Kai looks a lot like your dad when he like smirks and smiles. I'm like, oh my God, Mari, I see your dad. I know. Don't tell him that. I mean, he'll never listen to this, so we don't have to worry about that. My favorite thing Kai does, you guys. I don't think I've said this to you. Tell me. What? He will have his Patsy in and he smiles like around his Patsy. I know. And it makes my ovaries explode. I see it in my head. And then like sometimes he falls out because he smiles so big. And it's the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.

5:11He's a very smiley baby. He smiles at everyone. Everyone. We went to an art gallery the other day, literally smiling at all the women, like just like a little ham at the coffee shop. Yeah. He's a flirt. Yeah. And I like wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. And he's like. And then he smiles at everyone. And Mari's like. I'm like, Kai, we're in a bad mood today. And he's like. Not the vibe. And Kai's like me. You'd think he was like a Leo or something. He's so. What is his sign? Sagittarius. Oh. They're very go with the flow. I don't know much about sags. Like go with the flow, easygoing, like not uptight, which is good for me.

5:46I know I've only seen portions of it, but from what I've been around, he is a very happy baby. Super happy. He does escalate very quickly. Like if he's hungry, you're going to freaking know about it. There's going to be some screaming. He's just the joy of my whole life. I mean. But I've just, I don't know. I know some babies can be like really like have colic, like, you know, be like really colicky. He was colic, remember? When he was like, oh, oh, what's his little tongue thing? tongue thing and he was like the gas was pretty extreme in there i know but like once we got past that i was like wow this is amazing but now he's so happy i'm honestly blessed that we went through that at the beginning because it has made everything feel so much easier from there by the oh my god fee the nap yesterday that we screwed up oopsie the worst night of his life really it just went to bed at six no fee we fucked everything up oh no it's okay yummy was so he didn't go to sleep that late so because we were this is how crazy why did he wake up when he woke up from that nap because we were late on the nap he should have been asleep at 2 30 oh and it was like three yeah so we fucked that up he woke up early wouldn't nap he was supposed to nap for two hours and then the whole night was destroyed i was like what are we gonna do in europe first you texted me and you were like he's great he went to bed at six i was like oh perfect oh okay well no oops our bad i know we put him down and then we went back in and like he was just literally smiling We both tried for 20 minutes.

7:05And like I was like bouncing him and he's just smiling at me. And I'm like trying not to make eye contact with him. So he like doesn't engage, but he's just smiling. It's OK. We tried our best. So what's the update with you? Like we literally walked in the office and fees like wheeling and dealing on the phone. I was on a call with a mortgage lender. What? Oh, my God. I have a house under contract right now. And I just had the inspection yesterday and it all came back very good. Probably one of the shortest inspections I've ever had, which is like the best. But a couple of things we're going to address with an amendment.

7:35and hopefully get out of option and you're such a natural it's been so fun yeah like real estate it's definitely like a roller coaster lots of ups and downs um there are periods where like i feel like i have nothing going on and i'm doubting myself and like why did i think this was a good idea and then there's times where like i have a million people like reaching out and things happening so you kind of just have to ride the waves and know that like when you're at a low yeah it'll come back um but it's just been so fun like getting to know all my clients and meet new people and like I mean you know me but like I've literally become friends with all my clients I'm sure but that I like have movie nights with them and like hang out with them and go to coffee and workouts with them but that's kind of the tea I think it's so fun with real estate yeah you just and like you get to meet people that like normally maybe you would never come in contact with and I don't know I just it's so fulfilling to me like the family right now that we have under contract they just had a baby kind of the same time as Kai like two weeks before and they're just the sweetest couple and like getting to help them find a home that like they get to raise their baby in for the next couple years it's just like but that's like your talent is like being this super friendly like thank you you're warm you make friends easily you're good at networking and connecting like it really is all your talents in one yeah i mean it's crazy i had never considered real estate like really ever and then once i got into it it's like been like well i can't believe I didn't do this sooner kind of thing it's fun to watch you doing it it really is you're crushing it you're so sweet yeah but yeah it's been fun so I've been doing that um what else have I been doing oh my gosh I have some GLP updates I want to know like what were they asking about because you did a little Q &A box do you want me to pull up the Q &A yeah let's just dive in let's just see and I'm sure updates will come but yeah I have had a whole experience with GLPs since I was on last.

9:25Let's talk about that for sure. Because that's been interesting. Oh yeah. How's Fi's Ozempic journey going? Okay. That was like the top question. Dive in. Yeah. I actually have gotten a bunch of DMs like in the last couple months being like are you still on it? What are you doing? So I had been on it for like a year and a half up until December of last year and then I was feeling so good. I was like I feel like I've like gotten in a rhythm. I had maintained a certain weight for months like for like a year and I was just like I think I can go off of it like in my head I was like I feel like my food noise is gone I feel like probably like my stomach shrunk so I probably won't be like binging and overeating so I went off of it and oh my god the food noise came back with a vengeance like I can't even describe that's so interesting that I felt um and just to be like I don't want to get into like numbers necessarily but like I basically gained back what I had lost over like a year and a half in two and a half months yeah which is insane yeah which also proved to me that like there's other stuff going on than just because I was working out more than I had been the whole time I was on it at this point I had gotten back into weightlifting.

10:41I was working out. I was doing Pilates twice a week. I was meal prepping. And yet all this weight came back on that. I was doing the exact same thing on it, if not less, and was not getting weight. And now you're addressing the gut issues that you think you have. Yes. I finally got looked into, I finally went to a gastro, which I've been talking to Mari about literally ever since I met you that I have tummy issues. So finally did that, got a ultrasound the other day waiting for those results i did a SIBO test yeah i did a SIBO test that all came back negative which is good glad i like don't have SIBO i always thought you had SIBO me too but no SIBO you should like drink this gross drink and sit and breathe it was like a SIBO breath test i don't know that's like the preliminary test of it but that came back negative so did you feel like okay yeah when you were on the GLP one before you were i feel like you're doing this journey differently like what did you realize from that to now and what are you doing differently definitely um that first time around I think I it was just like the first time I had really experienced not having food noise and I think I may have dug into that a little too strong yeah was definitely not eating enough um wasn't working out enough I definitely lost quite a bit of muscle I experienced a bunch of hair loss which like that is so common I see it everywhere wear now girls just like like i had hair coming out in clumps which speaking of i am wearing extensions for the first time they're so beautiful they're clippins you guys no one would have known my mormon wives clippins you look like a utah girly but i'm trying to i've really been on like a hair health journey since all that um using like serums and like just really trying to take better care of my hair i'm on that journey too you know like my hair was like a big part of my identity.

12:30Yeah. And I was like, how is it like, of course, like I like, you know, lose weight and like finally feel like I'm like, you know, fitting better in my clothes and stuff. And then like, I'm going bald. I'm like, OK, you can't have both. But to be fair. Yeah. I think you just weren't eating enough. Yeah. I was definitely not eating enough in general. I think if you were eating more, that would have happened. And protein and all that. So learned my lesson that time around. All this to say, I actually met with my doctor this time around and talked to her and And in between this, I read this book and I actually have this little excerpt from it because I was like, I need to share about this.

13:04So in between when I went off of it and was trying for like the two and a half months to just get it under control myself, I listened to this audio book. I actually saw it on the shelf at Target and I was like, what's that? It's called Enough, Your Health, Your Weight and What It Is Like to Be Free. And it's by Oprah and it's co-authored by this Yale obesity expert, Dr. Anya. Because Oprah's an advocate for GLP-1. Yes. Well, like, if you look at Oprah over the last 30 years, her whole, like, on magazine covers, it was like, she's losing 60. She's gained it. She's losing. And she, like, addresses that in the book.

13:39And she's like, my whole life has just been, like, for the world to see, like, weight losses and weight gains. And it has felt so out of my control. Yeah. But this Dr. Anya, I don't want to say her name wrong, but Jastraboff. And the book frames obesity as a treatable disease rather than a personal failure or lack of willpower. and it explains how modern medicine medications can reduce intrusive food noise and lower your brain's set point to achieve lasting health yeah which the whole book basically it like gave me the knowledge and also just like less i think it was like willpower i always thought it was willpower and i always thought i just wasn't strong enough and that i was like weak and that i couldn't stick to something long enough meanwhile i'm very type a yeah you are like if i say i'm gonna do something i will do it that's true but this was the one area of my life that like i felt so out of control and it was so frustrating and it makes you anyone that's dealt with like weight gain and stuff through their life like or whatever just dealing with food you know food noise and image issues it is so consuming yes all consuming but it also just really makes you like doubt yourself you like start to feel like you're going crazy yeah and you're like what am i doing wrong when you're working hard yeah i feel like i'm doing everything right yeah and i had times where i worked with trainers and got super drastic and like macro counted everything and did hours remember when i used to go to the gym twice a day yeah when we lived in la i was at gold's i was lifting in the morning I was doing 45 minutes of stair stepper a night and yeah I saw results but like I was killing myself in the gym and that's not sustainable like at least for me and so all that to say this book kind of just gave me like it took a weight off my shoulders yeah and I was like oh like it's not in my control yeah yeah which is hard for me because I do feel like I like to take responsibility for myself and my actions you do and I see you know I've seen other kind of like wellness people online or tiktoks and stuff and they're just like you want to lose weight just like put down the fork like you're just eating too much and like hit the gym like have you seen that viral video the girl yes that's the 160 thing act your weight i'm over 160 i'm over 160 160 i look lean dude like yeah that's lean for me 160 is actually my like really that's my goal weight right now i look great and i'm healthy and i have hair on my head so same to you that was crazy by the way oh it's good that we say that yeah i don't think people realize yeah i'm 5 10 yeah you're what 5 9 yeah like we're tall we're not like itsy bitsy gals and we're women is a body like we're not little teenage girls anymore that way like and no shame again if you weigh that much like if you have muscle and you lift weights you weigh more yeah but having muscle body's just different and like i love how i look at 160 that's actually currently the goal i love it yeah i love it and that girl said you you know should hit the treadmill just like get back on the treadmill i was like this effing idiot seriously i should i should do a stitch to that i know i saw kendall in one i've seen a bunch kelly matthews i've seen a bunch of people respond what should i i should be like i should just post a video of myself and be like i'm you should do like you should bring it back like an old transformation photo and be like that's me at 160 yes like the one where you're in the pink bikini on the beach in hawaii i was 160 and you're in that photo yeah and i'm jacked i'm a six pack yeah or cabo they keep cabo picking like the purple and orange bikini bikini not me knowing like every item maria owns because i picked it all

17:12and we were at gold's gym for oh my god yeah so yeah so that that has been my whole journey with that so what are you doing now okay different so yes so i met with my doctor and actually the first thing i said to her i was like i was on a glp through like a not a med spa like a wellness practice here, but not my actual doctor. And then I had gotten one online. And I said, look, like, what is your philosophy around weight loss and like using these? And I didn't say anything how I felt. I was just like, what do you think? And she was like, it's like a lifelong tool. Like you can't just get on it and get like, lose the weight and then get off of it.

17:51Like you have to stay on it. And I was like, thank you. Because I felt like everyone else I had met with was like, you'll lose the weight and use that as a tool and then make healthier life choices. and then keep it off which for some people that might be the case but like you you were i've watched you work your face off yeah to get lean and it was still a struggle for you yeah yeah and like you know i have friends who dabbled in it and lost seven to ten pounds like before their wedding yeah and they naturally just are leaner people yeah and yeah i get it and like when i would talk about food noise to them and they're like what do you mean i'm like you don't wake up thinking about what you're gonna eat and then your next meal your next meal go to sleep thinking about what you're gonna eat like what do you mean and they're like the only time i ever felt like that was when i was dieting too much and i when you're restricting yes but i i'm one of those people that i don't think has yeah food noise and but i can relate in some ways yeah yes for sure yeah like when you when you restrict too much you're obviously gonna have food your body's like screaming for food it's because it's hungry you know but i think beyond that like my you know it definitely runs in my family like it's just a thing it's been my whole life my whole life i've fixated on food.

18:58It's been like a crutch for me. And I'm lucky, you know, I've never really like gotten an issue with drinking or anything like that. But food for me is a drug. And unfortunately, you can't not eat food to live. You have to eat food. So I met with my doctor, went through it all. I got back on. I'm actually trying trisepatide, a compounded trisepatide this time. You know, have to pay out of pocket. But to me, it's worth it. And less. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. Yes, I started. Yeah, I've started really low. I just upped my dose for the first time that I'm like kind of actually starting to feel it again.

19:30But, you know, I was with Mari yesterday and I was saying like, I know I need to be eating. And like I packed hard boiled eggs to her house and like anytime I can just try to get protein, like if I am slightly hungry, like I'm going to go for protein first. Yeah. Even if it's like a literally like a bowl of ground beef or turkey or something, I'm just trying to do that versus. You're being very intentional. I would be like, eat a piece of sourdough bread. yeah be like foam an uncrustable i do still love my uncrustables and i really need to work on that because that has been i've never had an uncrustable and i don't understand what they are it's an addiction at this point i'm like fully addicted where do you buy those fee agb amazon agb or target anywhere like a grocery store they have high protein versions now and my favorite one me and my boyfriend are hooked on them it's called like up an apple and it's peanut butter and like honey and like cinnamon apple butter or something that does sound good it is crack but they're literally like 320 calories what is the ingredients they're actually it's literally bread and peanut butter i mean i'm sure yeah i'm sure there's like additives to make them last in your freezer but you know what i will say the fact that you have to keep them frozen yeah and that's interesting and then eat that's that makes me feel a little better that's true if it was a pb and j that just sat on the counter all day and you could grab for it i would not eat that you could be waking up and doing crack yes and instead i'm just addicted to uncrustables i saw this crazy statistic though that the nfl goes through like me comparing myself to an nfl athlete but that the nfl goes through like 50 000 of them a season they do pre-game literally i actually okay so all that to say i've been eating them as a pre-workout snack like i eat them 30 minutes before i go and lift and it has helped my lifts tremendously because i used to lift fast you know what people do that before they eat like a little Snickers bar or something.

21:20Yeah, it's like, it's a, like maybe it's kind of like a dirty pre-workout. Like I used to watch these gym bros. I'd be like, yeah, I eat a Rice Krispie Treat and like a handful of Sour Patch and I have like the best pump. What? Everyone's asking about life as Auntie Fee and like your relationship with Kai and me. It's been so fun. Like truly he is just the cutest little baby. He really is the cutest. And I love seeing you be a mom. Oh. It has been really special. It's like it has been interesting to see like you've I don't say you've changed like you've changed. I know. I'm a different person.

21:57And not to say it's like for the better. I agree. Like, I think I think especially working in social like the realm we're in. Yeah. We're like there's so much comparison or wasn't there's so much comparison and you're posting your life online. I think it's so easy to get caught up in that and like what matters. I know. And what's important and like what things used to frustrate you or irritate you. And now it's like I feel like you're so unbothered with stuff because you're just like I literally don't have the capacity nor care about that anymore. I'm so because like I have like I'm a mom and like that's my priority and like my top my stress tolerance is much higher now.

22:37Yeah. Like I feel like especially when you and I were working together I would get so stressed about things that didn't matter. And like you know what. Yeah. We both did. We both did. We were just like so wrapped up in it when you get that wrapped up in it. And like we also were grinding. Yeah. And when you put so much time and effort and are just like go go go go go. I did it to myself, which is such a funny. You know what? I have moments in my life now that hit me. Like I traveled alone the other day for my face laser, which we should talk about. I haven't talked about it. Oh, yeah, yeah. It was just me and Greg with one little suitcase going to the airport.

23:12And I was like, the fact that I used to get stressed out to travel. This is a spa day. Yeah. I was like, I have one bag and I'm only responsible for me. Kai isn't here. Like, I was just like, this is a freaking spa. Put stuff in perspective for sure. I'm just sitting there like. Yeah. Yeah. Which like you're obsessed with Kai and Kai is like the best thing ever. Yeah. But suddenly you're like, oh, what was I worrying about before? Literally. When me and Greg would go on a vacation and I was stressing out. It makes me feel like it's just before you have kids, you're so.

23:47You're not like this. You're an anomaly. But it's almost a selfishness that you don't realize. You're self-involved. You're self-involved. Because all you have to think about is yourself. And you also think everyone's thinking about you and no one is. And I think after you have a baby, you look back and you're like, dude. Yeah. You're, no. And all I care about now is how he thinks of me, how he feels. Like, it's just such a different, like, my eyes are just, it's a crazy realization to have. And I kind of, okay, I had a bit of a spiral yesterday and thank God I had Fee with me. I was going through it and I want to talk about it because I do think other moms probably have experienced this.

24:32But when you first have your child, you have and, you know, I don't really talk about my childhood in detail on the show. I never have, but I've touched on it. Like in a way, there's elements of my childhood that I love and I got to travel a lot and see different things. But there's for sure things about it that I would change. And when I had Kai, I had a level of empathy because I was like, wow, this is really hard. And I don't know how my parents did this at the beginning when I didn't have as much help. I was like, this is crazy. I can't believe they pulled this off. But then you also have moments where you feel a lot of emotion because you're looking at this like perfect child.

25:22and Kai is to me perfect and he's smiling and he's he just appreciates life and he's so happy all the time and just like innocent and I just had this overwhelming like anger yesterday of like how could you ever take a child and ruin their innocence or make them upset or just not want to be involved in their life it it makes you like think about your childhood and your parents differently and you you get angry yeah you get angry yeah there's like empathy and anger i think motherhood is like the duality of so many things like i can see how it brings up so much stuff from your own childhood that makes you question and wonder and you know resent and get your yeah i could totally and it's like this mama bear instinct of like yeah anyone who spends time with kai should deserve to spend time with kai like i believe that i want everyone around him to be positive and love him and give him the best energy possible yeah and if anyone's coming around him with anything negative i'm like i'll punch you like get back up you know what i'm saying yeah or like you just don't get to be around him yeah well you realize i mean he is so young currently but like as babies get older like you don't realize how much well now you'd probably do like as a grown adult you kind of think back and yeah you were like a child and like i remember vibes yes and anger and like feelings you know i come from a divorced house too and like i remember at you know like my six seven eight years old being like something's wrong something's not great right now yeah like the energy in my house feels not good and what can i do as a child to fix it and you're so out of the loop and you're a kid and like you know as your parents don't want to involve you in that which like you know if you're lucky you maybe don't see a lot of fights or whatnot but like i'm sure a lot of kids that have gone through that did i did and And like it really like I think I know I've like blocked out a lot of it.

27:41But sometimes I almost get like visions of it and it's like what? Well, that's probably why you and I don't like conflict. Yes. And I'm terrified of telling people how I feel because I'm scared of what will happen next. I'm scared they're going to leave. I'm scared they're going to leave. And I'm like the fact that anyone would ever make a child feel that way. I know. I feel like when you have a child, you just are like, whoa. I know. on the on the flip side though it is so like you know i think back to my parents and you know you can look at it one way like when you have a kid and you're like oh that's so selfish of them to like do to their kid which i think i've had feelings like that they're just humans and also i'm like i love my parents and they get along fine now but like thank god they're not together yeah like i'm so happy for both of them that they're not together because i don't think they were right for each other and i'm like it would make my heart break even more if up till this day they were together just for me and they were miserable and they like weren't sleeping in the same bedroom whatever like you know what I mean like that would hurt me and I don't think that's a great example either so it is weird like it's a weird level of being selfish for you and making decisions for you versus your child which it sounds like you're saying like right now you just feel like everything like you want to do everything for Kai which I get I am maybe to a fault like obsessed with him having a perfect life to compensate for like what I didn't have yeah but that's also not healthy and like I'll never be perfect yeah and I have to wrap my head around that and also to a certain extent like I need to be able to suck up my personal feelings for him to have the type of life that I want him to have yeah it's crazy I think also just also just like practicing like being present yeah and practicing like being grateful for stuff yeah like we were talking about some stuff yesterday about him and i'm like if you just like sat with that for 10 minutes and we're like he is so lucky yeah like kai is he's healthy gonna have a incredible life yeah and like we'll have a roof over his head and that little boy like no matter what like and you know that that's like i know already such a blessing that a lot of people can't say his life is going to be so different yeah than mine was and honestly i could do a whole episode about this but Like it scares me, but it also makes me really happy.

29:53Yeah. But it's good to appreciate it and like, you know, like acknowledge it and sit with it and like be aware of it. Because like I said, it's so easy to get caught up in just like wanting his life to be perfect. And like, well, what next? Like, what can I do next to make his life more perfect? And like, just realize like. Like every day I'm like, oh, my God, he didn't do enough stimulation exercises today. I think he's great. We didn't practice sitting enough today. He's doing great. No, I know. You know what I mean? But all that to say, like what you just said, it's like the pressure on the Internet now and the pressure like from other moms.

30:22I can't even begin to imagine when I have a child one day trying to just like, I swear, like pick the right nipple for a bottle. Oh. And there's people on the Internet being like, that is a bad nipple. Your child's going to have a weird mouth deformity or like that's going to give them gas or like that's a bad material. Like you should not be putting microplastics in. And like, holy shit. can I just feed my baby? You can't get it right. No, you'll never do it right. Or, you know, the right stroller. God forbid you get a stroller and they're like, you're bad if you have help. You're bad if you don't have help.

30:57You're bad if you work. You're bad if you don't work. You're bad if there's nothing you can do. And also, most of those people don't even have kids. Like literally when people were commenting about my mother effing carrier, like how I, sorry, I just had a baby for the first time. I used my carrier wrong. I see a million people do it every day. The carrier police came for me. I'm like, do any of you actually have kids? Which is one thing. Like, I get, like, if someone was saying it's dangerous, that's different. But even, like, I can't, I'm sorry, I can't imagine getting on someone's, like, a stranger's video.

31:30No. And being like, hey, you're like, what the fuck? Also, don't you think I'm the most concerned? And don't you think someone in, like, someone in her life that she, like, knows and cares would, like, say, like, I just, ugh. The audacity of people on the internet these days just, like, blows my actual mind. I can promise you the mom parenting their kid cares way more about their kid's well-being than you do. Yeah. You know? And also, like, it's your first time. Yeah. You're going to make mistakes. My God. At least, you know. But, like, he's fed. He's sleeping. He's happy. Yes. He's great. Yes, ma 'am.

32:00You know? Yes, ma 'am. Yeah, I, that, that's a whole. A lot of people are asking if you're still with the boyfriend. Oh, yes. I asked him, I was like, can I talk about us? and he was like yeah. He said yeah? Well I'm not going to go into like detail detail but we're great. I'm going to go visit him next week. Yeah we've just been like great. I'm obsessed with him. He's obsessed with you too. I've told him that. I was like should I? He's a sweetie. He's the best. He's a sweetie. Guys he's like a he's a gentleman. He's just a man. Country accent. Like a real man. I love the accent. And I love it.

32:35Yeah. He calls me darling. And I about die. But what did he used to call you that you told me that was so funny? Oh, Playgirl? When we first met, he started calling me Playgirl. And like, he sent me flowers for my birthday. They said, happy birthday, Playgirl. And I was like, what does Playgirl mean? He says it's endearing. I was like, that sounds like a side piece. Like, that sounds like you're like side. He was like, oh, no, no, no. I'm like, Playgirl? He's interesting. But no, I prefer Darling over Playgirl. That's cute. Yeah. And they like love playing golf together, which is just I mean it's I'm gonna bring my clubs on this trip yeah he like got me into golf and actually cared to like teach me stuff um which was so fun and like great I'm like oh and it just the the difference from dating someone that wants you to be around versus someone that finds every excuse to not spend time with you like the fact that he golfed and he was like oh like instead You know, I mean, again, I let him go golf with his men and do his guy time.

33:38Cool. Great. I don't want to be in on that. But the fact that I'm like a lot of men who are like, oh, thank God my wife doesn't golf like fine. I can spend eight hours with the boys and get like wasted like on the golf course, whatever. He's like, oh, my gosh, like that'd be so fun for us to do together. Like that we can spend more time together on my off days and like you can come golf with me. That's how it should be. You want me? No, it's so funny thinking about your life previously. He's just, yeah. It's not funny, obviously. It is. It's funny. Yeah. But, I don't know, I was talking to one of my girlfriends who's, like, been struggling with dating here in Austin.

34:12And it's tough, but I just, like, keep trying to remind her you will not have to settle for the right person. And you kind of just, like, you never know who's going to come along. And you just got to keep trucking forward. You never know. And I never thought I'd meet Jade. Like, the fact that we met is, like, kind of crazy. How did you meet again? My friends introduced us. But like he doesn't even live here most of the year, but he's from Texas. And like it just just like all the layers and things that had to happen the way they did. And like his previous relationship in life and my like the fact that everything happened the way it did and timed out the way it did is like kind of crazy.

34:49It is crazy. We've ended up together. But I saw Emma Leger talking about this. She's like an influencer. She just got engaged. She just got engaged. Like Central Park. And she had just gone through this horrific breakup and like hated the guy and then met this guy way too early. And she was like, I'm not, you know, ready. Yeah. Now they're engaged a year later. Pretty amazing. Girlies. Take notes. Take notes. I'm kidding. Yeah. No, he knows. I like tell him every day. Her ring is, did you see it? No. It's gorgeous. Champagne and yellow diamond, trois mois together. Oh, yes. I did see a little bit.

35:20She like designed it with him though. I found out. Like he didn't, I was like, that's incredible taste if the guy pitched that. But yeah, you can tell. I'm like into, now I'm into like cushion. Cushion. I love cushion. Or even old mine. What's that? It's kind of like almost like an elongated cushion. Like I like the longer cushion cut. We should just go try them all. Like, I know I'm obsessed. We could go to Corman. You were telling me about them. The prices are a little bananas, but the jewelry's style. But just like for vibes. Yeah. For vibes. For vibes. Yeah. I mean, really what we need to do is go to the New York Diamond District.

35:53Yeah. Or like the LA Diamond District. Yeah. I want a new ring too. Mari. I know. Let me get one before you get another one. You're right. Sorry. I'll wait back to her. Hold your horses. I want to be like, I want to be Victoria Beckham where I get a new one. I'm a freak. The saddest part, when Mari got her last engagement ring, I was like fully in the trenches of my last relationship, like begging this man to propose to me. Never happened. Thank God. Well, I bought my own. But yeah. But like, I remember shopping for years and I was just like, well, you tried on a bunch too. I know. But I just think I was, it was like a hard time for me.

36:26I think I was in like the dark. And again, like you bought your own, but whatever. I was just like, God, like Mari's getting this like gorgeous ring and I'm over here like begging my ex to just like care about me. Text you back. That was, yeah, he was really. Yeah. It's okay. We don't have to talk about him. We don't. Definitely don't. We wish him the best. We'll go try on rings. Yeah. I would love to do that. Jacob's going to be like, you're fucking crazy. No, you're definitely not crazy. No, no, no. He likes to tease me. You guys are like actively talking about it. We talk about it all the time.

36:55But like honestly, I'm going to be so for real. I've talked about it from day one, which I don't know if that's toxic. But I also think you should talk about that. When you know, you know. Yeah. Truly, that is such a feeling. And I was telling him the other day, like I can't imagine a day without him in it. And him and I have talked. I actually said this to him and he was like, yeah, you're right. Him and I have talked every single day since the day we met. Oh my God. Every single day. He has never spent one day. He has never ghosted me. We do long distance. This man is away. This man, we did long distance from two weeks of knowing each other.