Motivation vs. Discipline Mash Up: Why Habits Win

0:00Hey friends, Olivia from OLLI. Between new routines and the ultimate group project known as parenting, you need science-backed solutions that work with your life. That's where OLLI comes in. Start your mornings off right with Maltese made to support nutrition and immune health. Choose from our lineup of gut-supporting probiotics, and we've got occasional sleep support to help the whole fam chase their big dreams. Head back to class with the number one gummy supplement brand. Stock up on OLLI.com today. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

0:30Sierra has all the best active and outdoor brands you need. From athletic stuff, like a full-court pickup game, SWISH! To athletic-ish stuff, like a half-mile stroll. Get those steps in! And for morning hikes up the mountain trail, good pace! To nighttime ghost stories from the camping chair. What a twist! Whatever level of active, Sierra loves it all. Head to Sierra or Sierra.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all. From athletic to athletic-ish, Sierra's got it. This is the Pursuit of Wellness podcast and I'm your host, Mari Llewellyn.

1:08What is up guys? Welcome back to the show and we are talking motivation and productivity tips. We all have had feelings of motivation before but they don't stay very long. Motivation is a fleeting feeling and discipline is a consistent habit that allows you to take action even when you don't feel like it. It's all about building habits that you do regardless of whether you feel like it or not. This will allow you to do anything in life. When I first started my journey, I struggled to wake up early because it was new for me. I struggled to pass up a sweet treat because that was new for me. I struggled to get to the gym when I was tired or it was cold.

1:48I struggled getting in all my steps because I didn't want to. I struggled driving back and forth from New York to Philly to get my degree. I struggled sitting at the front desk of Orange Theory Fitness at 3am. I struggled with everything. But after a while, I stopped even thinking about it. It stopped being a choice and it just started to be my lifestyle. Things started to feel way more comfortable. And that's how it becomes your life. It's how it becomes who you are. Your habits become your new identity. What is currently holding you back? Is it that you need to wake up earlier? Are you not achieving enough in the day?

2:27Do you need to create more hours in your day? When I first started my fitness journey and I started all these new habits, at first it was so uncomfortable. But the more I did it, the more comfortable it became. The more I kept my own promises, the more confident I got. What are some things you can do to set yourself up for success every single day? I am someone who absolutely loves the calendar. If it's not in the Google calendar, I'm not doing it. I like to time block. I like to see everything that's happening from workouts to socializing to meetings to podcast recordings to vacations to flights.

3:02Every single thing is in my calendar. What can you do to make things easy for yourself? For me every time I went to the gym I needed to bring a plan otherwise I'd end up going feeling confused overwhelmed and leaving early. Go to the gym with a plan. Maybe you struggle with nutrition go to the grocery store with a meal plan and a list this was huge for me when i started my weight loss journey looking up meals that i wanted to make making sure they were healthy high protein writing down all the ingredients i needed going to the grocery store with a plan meal prepping on sunday nights making sure everything's ready to go get yourself ready and in a headspace where things are easy to check off and easy to achieve it's not just about checking boxes but doing things that make you feel whole when I was going through my fitness journey yes I was definitely eating healthy I was exercising I was doing all the right things but I also was mentally improving I was getting more and more confident every single day finding happiness in doing hard things I think this is a really important piece of the puzzle and finding tools that keep you happy is so important having the power to control our time our minds and get the most out of our days.

4:16It's really one of the most powerful tools we have. I don't do things lightly. I don't try to do anything in life. Like if I'm saying yes, I'm saying yes. And like, I'm not going to try to work out. I'm working out five times a week. And like, I'm going to be super disciplined in that. Day one, I joined a CrossFit gym and it was really intense. But what I loved about it was the community. And when you're early on, Like y 'all, I didn't even own a pair of walking shoes at this point. I maybe had one pair of leggings and then went to Target and bought the same workout top in three colors. It was basically a tight bra that then like popped out and was like loose around my stomach.

4:56Yeah, like a peplum. Because God forbid, I felt like a stuffed sausage in every single workout outfit. And I'm wearing like extra, extra larges. Like I didn't even have any association with my size at the time. But I asked them, I'm like, what sneakers do I need? What equipment do I need? They're like, you need these no bowl sneakers. You know that brand? They're like the flattest shoes ever. So I was wearing these all black no bowl sneakers. I had three tops and got a few more pair of extra, extra large leggings. And I was in there five times a week. Damn. And that community was something. Well, they like hype you up.

5:31They really hype you up. And like they push you. I mean, it's like it felt almost like military. Like you're competing for something. Yes. Not that I could compete with any of these people. I mean, truly on the days where it was like run a mile, do 10 handstand pushups, the modifications that my coaches would do for me was amazing. But that's, can you speak to like, did you feel any intimidation or insecurity walking into an environment like that? At first, yes. My brother would actually come with me. Frankie was super freaking fit at the time. Frankie like also goes through phases, but like Frankie was jacked at the time.

6:10Yeah. And he was such a great accountability partner for me because all of my friends at the time were like my party friends. I wasn't in a relationship and Frankie like was holding me accountable. So that was really great. And then I got to the point where I could hold myself accountable. And like I had partners in that community that like knew my name, knew what I was up to, knew about like what I wanted to accomplish. And I have always been someone who wanted to surround myself with people who were doing more and doing better. And it's really motivating. Like I always say in business, I never want to be the smartest person at the table.

6:41And when I was signing up for CrossFit, I definitely wasn't walking in there wanting to be the fittest person in the room. So it was really cool to see these like literal athletes doing the same shit that like I wanted to do. It's kind of like me looking up to the IFBB pros in bodybuilding. You were around these insane athletes, like shoot for the stars, be around the best. And I would crush myself in those workouts. Damn. I was going for it, like really, really going for it. And then after that year, I... Question. Yes. Did you go into your journey saying, I want to lose 85 pounds? No. I never thought 85 pounds was possible.

7:23I had been overweight my whole life. I was the heaviest kid in my first grade class. I don't know why and what happened in first grade. We were all put on a scale in front of each other. Straight up. No. No. Oh, my God. That's the type of thing that you never forget. And yeah, I'm literally 23 years later still remembering this moment of being the heaviest kid when I was in sixth grade. I won't forget little moments of like my doctors growing up saying like, Sammy, like you're only 13. You shouldn't be carrying this much body fat. Just, you know, across the board, so many moments that were so telling.

7:58So no, I never thought that like who you are seeing here today was a possibility for what I could look and feel like. Like I think a lot of people move their body to look a certain way. At this point in my journey, I was addicted to movement because it made me feel a certain way. Because it was fulfilling a promise that I was making to myself. Because it was allowing me to get to know myself to a deeper level than I had ever learned before. And it wasn't about how hard the workout was. It was about walking away and feeling like my cup was fill, not empty. And I think a lot of workouts can kind of empty your cup.

8:36Totally, totally. And I do think like the discipline you learn from an intense workout, like a CrossFit. I mean, I was super intense for a while with my workouts. Perhaps that's what we needed at the beginning because it teaches you pure discipline. Discipline is self-love. Like you'll hear me say that all the time. When you learn self-discipline, that is the number one form of self-love because if you can't show up for yourself, how are you going to do great things for yourself? in anything in anything in life this is not weight loss this is life yeah period

9:14you guys know greg and i love to cook at home we cook dinner every single night and i'm obsessed with my caraway non-toxic products seriously when you're cooking you want to be so careful with the pans you're using because those materials are leaking into your food which is something you really want to avoid there could be things like pfas ptfes lead catamom and other harmful chemicals which is not in any of caraway's products which helps with guilt-free cooking i'm also obsessed with their wood cutting boards knowing that zero plastic is getting into my food that is such a problem they're finding plastic in so many people's blood streams and other places and it's having a really harmful effect plus caraway's products are just so gorgeous i love having my sage green pan out on the stove it's such a vibe and makes me want to cook more if you have been eyeing their internet famous 12-piece cookware set now is the perfect time to buy you can shop caraway risk-free enjoy fast free shipping easy returns and a 30-day trial plus if you visit carawayhome.com wellness 10 you can take an additional 10 off your next purchase this deal is exclusive for our listeners so visit carrawayhome.com slash wellness 10 or use code wellness 10 at checkout carraway non-toxic cookware made modern i think one of the hardest parts about living a healthy lifestyle can be all of the planning for all of your different meals getting those groceries recipe planning and that's where hungry root comes in they make it so simple and easy to stay healthy and that's why i'm obsessed with hungry root hungry root takes the stress out of meal time by filling your cart with personalized picks and planning your week of meals getting smarter with every order with over 15 000 recipes to choose from from each week and a wide grocery selection including smoothies kids snacks sweets salad kits ready to eat meals and supplements it's easy to find options that fit your whole family's tastes and nutrition goals they will help you reach your diet and health goals whether you're gluten-free dairy-free high protein focused on gut health or anything else.

11:17They also help you reduce food waste, avoiding impulsive grocery buys, and skipping last minute restaurant takeout. Plus I love that they are super high quality. They screen for over 200 additives including high fructose corn syrup, artificial sweeteners, and preservatives. They only source high quality meat and seafood with no hormones or antibiotics. Greg and I personally are really focused on protein so we love finding high protein snacks on Hungry Root and planning our meals to focus on protein that way take advantage of this exclusive offer for a limited time get 40 off your first box plus a free item in every box for life go to hungryroot.com slash pow and use code pow pow that's hungryroot.com slash pow code pow to get 40 off your first box and a free item of choice for life hungryroot.com slash pow code pow

12:11I think fitness taught me everything I know about work ethic. Like it is the reason I'm able to show up at my job every day. Yeah. Because you just show up. You know what I really want everyone to hear? If you have the privilege to move your body, you are doing your entire life such a disservice by not embracing movement. And if you haven't found the movement for you, keep looking because it exists. I agree. It is such a privilege. It is the best form of therapy. What happened for me after class passed was COVID. We were in a pandemic. There were no more classes. I became obsessed with walking.

12:51Yep. I think a lot of girls are using, like even if they don't like working out, walking's there. Walking is a gift. You get to go outside. You get to get sunshine in or just fresh air in. You get to habit stack so many other things you love. You get to invite your friend or call the person who makes you happy. Listen to a podcast like Pursuit of Wellness that betters you. Like whatever you want to do, you can do while walking. And if you have legs that move, walk. It is a gift. Oh my God, I'm obsessed with walking. I still walk 10 to 20K steps a day. I'm obsessed. Sammy walks like 10 miles a day and does calls and gets her whole day done.

13:32My team knows like if I want to be like as mentally active as possible, I should be moving. I had a few internships throughout college and my memories of these internships were me shaking like a leaf, terrified my boss was going to talk to me, hiding in the bathroom, feeling like I didn't know what was going on. Like I had zero, zero, zero confidence in myself and what I thought. Didn't even really know what I wanted. And then I worked at Orange Theory Fitness. I was at the front desk getting heart rate monitors thrown at me, ducking sweaty towels, cleaning toilets. It's funny because of course I was unsatisfied with that, but it taught me so much.

14:11Like it was, I'm so grateful I had that little season. I'd show up at 4am to open up the studio. That was mid fitness journey. It was a way - Which is also a crazy level of discipline if you think about that. Insane. I used to be insane. Like I know I still have it in me, but it's funny when you're in like, like hitting rock bottom and feeling like I have to fix this. Like I do not have a choice. It's crazy what you can do. Honestly. When do you feel like you found that first like oomph of confidence? It was the second that like I realized I was not wavering on my plan. When I kept showing up at the gym, when I kept waking up at six in the morning, when I kept eating the food, I was like, oh, I'm not quitting.

14:58Like I was afraid, I think, for the first couple months that I was going to quit because I had quit everything else I'd ever done. And then the second I realized I wasn't quitting, I was like, oh, I think I can do anything. So for me at the time, working at Orange Theory and showing up at four in the morning and sticking to that was a challenge. Like I had never done anything like that before. Like I would skip class in college. I wouldn't show up to internships. Like I was very accountability for yourself. No, like I really didn't hold myself to a high standard. Showing up at Orange Theory and cleaning the toilets was like, I am fulfilling a promise to myself.

15:34And it was during that time. I'm serious. I'm just picturing you like deep in your toilet being like, this is for me. This is for the greater good. My future self is so grateful. It's kind of crazy. And sometimes I go in a gym and I smell the cleaning smell of the same cleaner I would clean the toilets with. And I'm like, oh my God, like that was kind of the crux of my work ethic. And I was getting my degree at the time. And I remember my Instagram began exploding while I worked there and the trainers at the gym coming up and being like, oh my God, like what happened? Like, how did you do that?

16:11Will you say that I trained you? Like they wanted to be involved in it. And I had a fear of quitting orange theory because I was like, no, no, no, this is my normal job. Like this, this can't go anywhere. And it took me a minute to kind of take that leap of faith. And, um, it's funny looking back. I'm like, how did I push through those years of not leaving the house, not leaving my computer, just working, working, working. I didn't have anything to lose. I was like, let's just fricking go. It's orange theory or this it's cleaning toilets or this. You've got to try. You don't know until you try.

16:44That's what my dad always taught me. Right. And now look where we are. I've noticed just even in my comment section or online, a lot of people feel like life is happening to them, not for them. And that victim mentality is really prevalent today. And it's something that I went through too on my journey. Before going through what I went through, I would look around for people to blame or situations to blame, feeling like a victim. And I think taking responsibility and looking inward is kind of the first step on that journey for many people. Yeah. And then one of the big things that really changed my life was when I understood or when I learned that you can choose how you feel.

17:30The outside event is going to happen. But we all have like you and I could have the same thing happen to us and you would go, wow, thank God, like that really moved me in a good direction. And I could still be sitting here going, you know, gosh darn it, that's so unfair. Why'd that happen to me? It's not the thing that happens that really determines whether it has value or not. It's your way of looking at it, your way of perceiving it. And it is very easy to be a victim. I mean, there's so many shows on TV that you watch, you know, victim this, victim that, people blaming. I think we're in a time right now where, so many people are pointing the finger at other people and trying to say, you're the reason I'm not successful, or you need to change, I'm fine.

18:17And when we truly take responsibility, it's not easy. It's so much easier to be a victim. So that's the challenge. But when you go against the grain and you just say, look, I take responsibility for anything that happens to me, and I'm gonna use it in a way that makes me better, your life changes and you become powerful. And what my book was about is how do you shift reality? You shift reality by taking responsibility. And when you do that, reality starts to bend in the direction you want it to. And I have a quote in the book that, and I do this on my emails too, average conforms to reality. Oh, that's bad.

18:59Everyone says it's bad. Yeah, that's bad. That's average, right? Greatness creates a whole new reality. What I like to do is when you focus on a result, at the beginning of the year, we should say, not just my intention to fix some part of me, but what do you want to create? What do you want to create in your life? Stop focusing on what you want to fix. Nobody's broken here. And so what I like to do at the beginning of the year is come up with three, usually three or less, but big things I want to do during the year that would really be fun for no other reason other than I just wanna create that.

19:36I would love to create that. Not because I'm broken, I need that to feel better about myself. But then you focus in on that. And then when you focus in on it, you visualize it, right? You use your imagination. Einstein said the imagination is a preview of coming attractions. And so you just get in and you go, I really love creating this. I see it, I feel it, I believe it. And then you start to notice, is there part of you that's not in love with it, like really going for it? Even though it's really cool, there's part of you that might not have the level of self-esteem and the subconscious like, oh, you know, I don't know, it might be too much or I'm not deserving or it's too hard.

20:15And when you start to feel that, then you know that's what you need to go in and start working on with the subconscious. The subconscious mind is tapping into what are you really seeing? What are you visualizing? Are you seeing yourself fall short? Are you seeing yourself enjoying it and really now having this amazing thing that you've created? What does it feel like? Do you feel confident? And the other thing you have to notice is the subconscious in love with what you want to create. If it's not, you won't get it. So you've got to do some reprogramming of the subconscious.

20:52I love Function because it's the only health platform that gives access to the kind of data people never see and the insights to actually take action inside function you can test over 160 biomarkers from heart and hormones to toxins inflammation and stress you can also access multi-region mri and ct scans all tracked in one secure place over time the new normal has changed a normal skincare routine 20 years ago was a bar of soap apricot scrub now a five-step process of serums active slugging red light masks over that time taxis became ride shares tvs became streaming normal has changed and your normal annual labs are 20 basic markers no hormones no inflammation no metabolic insight and if those limited tests come back within rage you're told you're fine function is what happens when health care catches up the first health care membership gives you 160 plus biomarkers across the whole body hormones metabolism inflammation heart liver etc i think this is so important i've personally been through acne journey a fertility journey and testing was so important for me and i highly recommend you guys do it too it really is the best investment you can make welcome to the new normal in health not the outdated version you grew up with your baseline your body on your terms learn more and join by using my link the first 1000 get a hundred credit towards their membership, visit www.functionhealth.com slash pow or use gift code pow at sign up to own your health.

22:24I'm so excited to share that this podcast is sponsored by The Real Real, the best place to shop, authenticated luxury bags, clothing, watches, and so much more. I have personally used The Real Real for many, many years. I've sold a lot of my luxury items on there and made a lot of money back from it, which is amazing. I feel like when I stop using something frequently I'm like okay it's probably time to sell and I've also bought some amazing items I have some Hermes sandals a go yard bag I found some really unique fun pieces on there and for a discounted price I was just in New York and I actually stopped by their location and it's always so fun to go snoop around the real real is attainable luxury that upgrades your personal style with up to 90 % off retail you can finally have the pieces you've been dreaming of from brands like Gucci, Fendi, and Prada.

23:11Unlike other resale sites, everything The RealReal sells is authenticated in person by luxury and fashion experts. Even with selling my pieces, I have someone come over who will look and authenticate everything. It's a super legit process. The RealReal is great for the planet and your wardrobe. They found new homes for over 37 million authenticated luxury items, so they know firsthand the impact resale has on the planet. The RealReal is the world's largest and most trusted resource for authenticated luxury resale with thousands of new arrivals daily no one does resale like the real real and now get 25 off your first purchase when you go to therealreal.com slash pow that's therealreal.com slash pow to get 25 off start shopping now at therealreal.com slash pow when you talk about visualizing what we want what are the steps we need to take after the visualization?

24:09Like how do we make it a reality? I've got three big ideas in the Breakthrough Code. One is you've got to focus on less and then obsess, but I really want it to be more of a subconscious obsession. I want you to train your subconscious to naturally be looking for answers and actions and things like that. The second thing you've got to do, and by the way, the way that you do that is you see it, feel it, and believe it. a couple times a day. You see it, so you're visualizing it. I actually like more the word you're imagining it, like I'm imagining myself in this. And sometimes I talk myself through it.

24:46I'm imagining myself accomplishing this and loving this and having so much fun doing this. So that might be helpful versus just trying to see it, see it, see it. Some people say they can't visualize. So imagine, imagine it. Just say I'm imagining it. And then that kind of takes the the stress off having to see it so clearly. You're just imagining it. And then you're feeling it. And then the next step is you've got to upgrade your story to upgrade your life. So the way you think about who you are, what you're capable of, that's an action you have to take. You've got to say, all right, what part of me has to die in order to create space to create an upgraded version of me or a new version of me, the version that I want to move forward with.

25:31We want to stay the way we are, but have our life get better. It doesn't work that way. If you want to advance and create more, the old part of you can't do it. Now, here's the good news. You're under no obligation to be the exact same person you were five seconds ago. You can shift, you can change, takes courage, and also the subconscious mind will fight to stay the same because it's trying to protect you. Don't wander off too far, Mari. You know, stay the way you are. Come on, it's great. But we wanna create. We want to do more. So we've got to let part of us die, right? Part of our personality, not part of your body, but part of your personality, part of the way you think, part of the way you view the world has to go away in order for a new part to come in.

26:23And then after you've done that, then you've got to take effective action. You've got to pack your day with effective action. So if you and I work, let's say eight, nine hours in a day, but you are twice as, and we're trying to get the same thing, but you're twice as effective with your actions, like they're really moving the needle. And you're even doing some things that you don't necessarily love, at least right now. You probably will love them later, but you're doing some things that I'm avoiding because I don't want to do that, right? But you're doing it. but we're still only working the same amount of time, you're going to get there twice as fast.

26:56I mean, I might not even get there. You said you have no obligation to be who you were five seconds ago. Yeah. I love that. And it was something, you know, reflecting on my fitness journey, I don't think I fully knew what I was doing. Now I have more verbiage about my journey. Yeah. But I had to stop believing that I was a failure and someone who was average and someone who was overweight in order to move forward. I just spoke about this on a solo episode I did, but I almost convinced myself I was an athlete in that moment because to get myself to the gym and do hard workouts every day and eat clean, I had to tell myself I was training for something.

27:39And I fully like took that on. I love that. And I still, like if I wake up at five in the morning to go work out, I'm telling myself I'm an athlete. I'm doing my training. I feel like we have to really change the way we think about our identity. Absolutely. Yeah, we always revert back to our identity. You know, back when I was working with Tony Robbins, there were studies that we were looking at that would watch people or that would observe people when they were losing weight, trying to lose weight. And most people will lose weight when you try to lose weight. You lose a little bit. Sometimes you lose a lot.

28:16And then typically what happens if you do not change your identity is you revert back to your identity. I'm a person who overeats, right? I'm a person that doesn't like working out. So I love, and same thing with cigarette smoking, right? Or when you're smoking. Like if you are a smoker who's trying to quit, if you see yourself as an overweight person who's trying to lose weight, you will lose weight and you'll probably quit smoking. but then eventually your willpower is not strong enough to fight against your identity. You just will lose that battle. That's when we say upgrade your story. We're talking about upgrading your identity, who you see yourself as.

28:59I love what you did. I'm an athlete. And you know what? When you first said that, your subconscious mind was probably BS. You're not an athlete. Yeah. But then you've got to keep at it. And you've got to stick to that story. Most people will start out, okay, I'm an athlete. I'm an athlete, like two days, three days. They say most people, when they set intentions for the year, by the second week of February, gone, like the majority. It's true. The gym clears out after two weeks, for sure. Yeah, because they had this intention, but the intention didn't match the story of who they really thought they were.