Parenthood, Marriage & Household Roles with my Husband

3:24Greg:you're the goat i get upset when i see things on your page i don't like all right so now we're going back to my page which is jj's in the room yeah who runs greg social and he's crushing jj's

3:35Mari:a fantastic content creator and manager and person, honestly.

3:40Greg:Creative director. You know him a lot better than me, but he seems amazing. But I'm just, I think I'm like highly critical of anything that you and I touch.

3:48Mari:Yes. So.

3:50Greg:I just hold us to a high standard.

3:51Mari:With your quote maternity slowdown.

3:55Greg:Yeah.

3:56Mari:I have picked up my personal brand.

3:58Greg:That's not the reason you did. It just happens.

4:00Mari:I mean, it just happens to have worked that way. Because it'd be fucking weird if we were both like getting content in a scenario.

4:07Greg:I mean, some couples function that way, but that's not the reason you, what would you say is the reason you started?

4:13Mari:I would say I felt more pressure to, to make some founder content because you were making less of it. And I was obviously not going to suggest to you to make content with a baby in your hands. You know what I mean? So I definitely felt some extra pressure to, to, to prioritize it more because I know how powerful it is for our community.

4:34Greg:I liked the, well, first of all, I also think you're very passionate about business and mentorship.

4:40Mari:I'm very passionate about passing down the baton to the youth that I know is probably lost as a lot of us were.

4:47Greg:Yeah.

4:48Mari:Yeah.

4:48Greg:And we didn't really have that type of mentorship when we were starting.

4:52Mari:I don't even think content like this existed when we were starting. No, it really didn't. We just truly had no idea what was going on.

4:57Greg:No, we didn't. Yeah. Which looking back, we didn't have AI. We didn't have, we had no guidance. which I think was almost a blessing because we so did it in our own way and we moved so quickly imagine chat chat gpt would have been like take a beat slow down for a second would have told us every idea was a good idea yeah amazing yeah yeah you should definitely do that and we probably would have had it run customer service like think about it how different it would have been no it would have been so different and then we wouldn't have had the experience we had well we also like

5:29Mari:so much of what Bloom is, I'll tell people like, sometimes you just need to go with your gut. Like you're not going to be able to get a definitive answer from some sort of AI tool or whatever. They're like, what do you mean go with your gut? I'm like, wait, has this generation like lost that term?

5:43Greg:Yeah.

5:43Mari:Because like our whole life was just going with our gut.

5:45Greg:Yeah. Yeah.

5:46Mari:That was our chat GBT.

5:48Greg:I would love to like be a fly on the wall of us back in the day, just like watching the way we did things. It was a lot of like -

5:55Mari:Inefficiencies.

5:56Greg:No. So to be fair, it was a lot of like whiteboarding, brainstorming, like just like problem solving. It was a lot of problem solving. We were firefighters. And a lot of like risk taking.

6:07Mari:Yes. But somehow at the same time, you were trying to, you especially were trying to put out the fire while creating content.

6:17Greg:Oh, I loved it.

6:18Mari:I loved it. But it's two very different things. There could be like an intense moment. This is what I'm currently needing to think about. there's an intense moment going on and I'm like is the camera rolling right those are like what I didn't film that that you've you you definitely built bloom in in public that's true you had samples you were you know taking photography you were you were and if we made a mistake I would address it more than I would be like yeah I was like hey guys sorry the packaging yeah like we had an remember we had an outline of a straw that was so funny coming out and then we had like

6:50Greg:Like we had a few things where I addressed it online.

6:53Mari:Generally, the mistakes were only packaging. Thanks, God. Thank God.

6:56Greg:Yeah. Thanks, God.

6:57Mari:Thank you, God. Okay. So you've kind of taken like a little bit of a pivot with your career since we last spoke.

7:05Greg:I've added it on. I haven't left anything. That's a good point. Yeah. You've added it on.

7:10Mari:Yeah.

7:11Greg:And now when we're out in public, like people are coming up to Greg, which is so cool. We're in like in New York and like guys will run up with their products in their hands. Like I've been waiting to meet you. I want to show you my product. And it's kind of nice for me. I mean, not that I don't like meeting people. I love meeting people. And I ran into a few super sweet girls when we were in New York. But mostly it's like guys coming up to you. Which is really nice. I get to take a backseat and be like, yeah.

7:39Mari:Yeah. I mean, it's awesome. Yeah. It's been really nice.

7:42Greg:I feel like I passed on the baton.

7:43Mari:I am the younger generation, Mar. Oh.

7:48Greg:Greg's like a little younger than me. So that's like the running joke in our house.

7:53Mari:You fads it on to the younger generation.

7:54Greg:Yeah.

7:55Mari:Yeah.

7:55Greg:So what's like the goal and the plan with the content?

7:58Mari:There is no goal. There is no goal. There is no finish line. We are just documenting the build of Bloom, the life of an entrepreneur. You know, I don't really show fatherhood. I don't really show like our home life, which you obviously did and do currently. it is very much a little bit business entrepreneur on the go that is the content I omit quite a bit

8:24Greg:yeah of my actual life I think that's why just a tangent I think that's why I'm struggling so much with my content right now because the conversation of like showing your child online is very heated and people have a lot of opinions about it and it was something that I think about a lot yeah and it's it's harder than you expect because when you it's easy to come up with what you think you're going to do when you don't have a baby but then when you have the baby and you're it's your whole world kaya's my whole world i'm so proud of him all i want he's my whole life and to not show him is like pretty much me deciding to not show my life so it's really confusing and hard so i've kind of come up with like a boundary of like what i'm comfortable with

9:11Mari:I mean, that's great.

9:12Greg:And I show him here and there in ways that I think is appropriate. And I also think with babies, we don't fully know what they look like yet. Like a lot of, I mean.

9:21Mari:You mean like safety wise?

9:22Greg:Safety wise, a lot of babies look somewhat similar. I think once you get to the age of like two, one and a half, two, and they're recognizable is when I would really rethink this. I think a lot of moms go through this. but there is this like like your brain and I've spoken about this just you just feel so confused it's like this crazy experience where your identity is different and you care like I've never cared about something as much as I care about Kai obviously ever and it's also like a very difficult job and I think there's like a huge misconception and we are super lucky that we have great help.

10:04Greg:We don't have family around us, but we do have a nanny who I love and is like a teammate for me. That's how you're here, Anna. That's how I'm here right now. But anytime I do have the full day with Kai, he's the best thing ever. He's so much fun and I love it, but it is hard freaking work. It's like physical, it's mental, it's emotional. It's hard to find time to do anything for yourself. It's hard to like eat a meal. It's harder to me than some of our hardest days with bloom yeah so like respect to the full-time stay-at-home moms like it is

10:38Mari:it's hard work dude shout out to the moms do you do you feel like the day if you have a if you have a 24-7 day with kai with a lack of help because like sometimes i travel for work like sometimes you're like truly you travel a lot i travel a lot um do you feel like the day flies by or you feel like the day goes slow slow because that's how i when we have like when i'm home all sunday and we have Kai all day. And you know, that starts at 630, depending on when he wakes up. 530. Yeah. Some days it's 530. I think this is the last Sunday it was 530. I checked the clock. I thought it'd be like 4 PM.

11:09Mari:It was 11 AM. And I was like, oh God. Can I tell the story? He's just staring at me like, what's next?

11:17Greg:Greg looked at me and he goes, I can't do this. I tapped out.

11:21Mari:He was like, I can't. I tapped out. I was like, welcome. See, it's not so easy.

11:26Greg:Yeah, I mean, Greg, and I think it's good for us to say transparently, we're like still figuring this all out. Like Kai's only four and a half months and everything's still so new. And Greg is like at the pinnacle of his career right now and super busy and doing all these new things and traveling a lot. And we just had a baby.

11:44Mari:We've also like had to somehow live time discuss what are our roles in this household. Because keep in mind for the last 12 years that we've been together, it has been, we're both entrepreneurs. We're stuck to the hip all day. We're just going to continue to grow, bloom and try to prioritize our relationship. Honestly, maybe second to our careers. And although our relationship has always thrived. And now we have two very separate roles in our household. and it's like, but we're, but we're still dabbling in both other sides as well. Right. And

12:19Greg:it's more complicated now than it's ever been.

12:22Mari:Like it's very complicated.

12:23Greg:We used to be on the same mission every single day. And even if we were like a little bit separate, like maybe I was more on the content front and I was like creative front and you were behind the scenes or whatever. It was like very clear. Now it's like, it's really hard to separate the thinking.

12:41Mari:Yeah, because it's easy to say divide and conquer. But then it's like, but what's best for Kai? Because that's really all that the mission is at this point. What is the best for Kai? But we also still need to like work and we have career goals and we have, I would say our fun goals are the last thing on the list right now. It's not like we're doing that much stuff for like our personal fun.

13:01Greg:I care about his experiences in life and he may not remember like the trip we're taking him on this summer, but I want to. But we're bringing him. Yeah.

13:12Mari:You know what I mean?

13:12Greg:That's why I'm saying it.

13:13Mari:Right. Well, because that is just to be with us is probably what's the best for Kai.

13:19Greg:Yeah. And I want to travel. Like my goal, I always told myself I wanted to be a parent that traveled a lot because it was one of my favorite things about my childhood was that I saw a lot of different cultures and countries. And I want that for him.

13:32Mari:His first solid food will probably be in Europe. No.

13:35Greg:Yes, it will. It will be May 20th. It's on the calendar. You have no idea what's going on. Like you really don't. I

13:41Mari:okay

13:44Greg:Craig loves to make these bold statements and just I thought he was at six months that's like starting solids is like a serious thing

13:50Mari:yeah why not do it where the food's the best

13:52Greg:we have to allergy test we have to make you know we can't just like throw him an octopus tentacle in Europe

13:57Mari:sounds sounds pretty

13:59Greg:we probably will do that but we gotta start at home in a controlled environment

14:03Mari:no like we were talking in his little chair we were talking about weaning off the pacifier and I was like just put some chili peppers on the pacifier

14:11Greg:people are gonna think you're actually clueless in this interview but i am and i would imagine

14:15Mari:most most you have like this innate calling your instincts have kicked in like i've never seen in my life obviously similar to entrepreneurship content we were just talking about there's so much just like motherhood content and books that you've been reading and you're just consuming motherhood stuff all day i i my time for kai for the most part has just like been with kai Like we're on two totally different – your instincts of maternal deliverables for Kai have like far exceeded my paternal instinctual calling of how to raise Kai.

14:52Greg:I think that's normal.

14:54Mari:Yeah, that's what I – and I would imagine everyone listening to us would feel that in their relationship.

14:58Greg:Probably a lot of people are like afraid to talk about it, I think. Like there's a lot of like, I've talked about this in a previous episode. There's a lot of like content online about like don't marry a loser. Have you seen that? No.

15:12Mari:That sounds like a great concept.

15:14Greg:I don't love it because I think.

15:18Mari:What does define loser?

15:21Greg:There's like a narrative now with girls my age who have babies that like the dad needs to be. basically like a stay at home dad or like very hands on in order to be considered like a good dad. I would, some would define that as a second mom. Sure. Sure.

15:39Mari:That would be a toxic angle of taking that.

15:41Greg:Sure. And I honestly, it got to me and I think it gets to a lot of new moms because you're like, oh my God, like my husband is supposed to be in this with me 24 seven. Like, why doesn't he have the same, like you do have this like kind of resentment at the beginning because you're like, why doesn't he feel the same way I do?

15:59Mari:My life just quite literally changed less than your life.

16:03Greg:Yes, for sure. I feel like it's still, you still come to work every day. You are around the same people. You're having the same conversations. And I'm, my whole identity just got flipped upside down. But I think it's good that we like talk about that because biologically you are not the same as me.

16:19Mari:But it took us weeks, if not months to be like, to even get what was going on. Like, hey, why is there odd feelings here? Why is this something that we, what are we, what do we even need to talk about right now? Like, oh, we're having two separate journeys.

16:34Greg:I also think thinking about things in a little bit more of a long-term frame has helped me a lot. The baby stage is not often a dad's favorite stage or like the most natural stage for a dad. I think the dad really locks in around two years old.

16:53Mari:when Kai tried to latch on my breast I was surprised that Mari didn't just realize this that day right like hey maybe I have a different role in this house right now so yeah I was surprised that that wasn't like just like an immediate what are you talking about remember when Kai would just try to latch on everything

17:10Greg:he still does

17:11Mari:no he doesn't try to latch on me anymore he knows I'm a man

17:14Greg:well okay now we've gotten to the point where Kai will like hear Greg's deep voice and like turn and look

17:19Mari:he also loves dudes He loves seeing guys around because he's always around women because Amari only has women in the house for the most part. Unless there's like a handyman there or something. But so like when there are guys around, he just gets – maybe just because he thinks dad's around.

17:32Greg:I think he like admires you. Maybe. Maybe I'm projecting.

17:34Mari:Also, there's no baby action figures. We need to talk about this. There's just like animals. To find him a male, you know, play figure that doesn't have a sharp finger that he might put in his eye has been impossible. and he's going to put it in his mouth. So it has to be natural and organic. I need an organic, natural GI Joe. If anyone can source me that.

17:55Greg:Do you want to start that business? Perhaps. Organic.

17:58Mari:You know, but that's another thing is there's been a few books that I get to the last page and I'm like, I fundamentally do not agree with the message in this childhood book.

18:06Greg:I'll give an example. We were reading him the magic fish. Isn't that what that book's called? Magic fish with the shiny scales.

18:13Mari:So there's one fish in the ocean that's born with, let's say, a hundred shiny scales and none of the other fish have shiny scales.

18:19Greg:She's stunning.

18:19Mari:She's stunning. And she is depressed all the time. No, no, no.

18:23Greg:You skipped a whole part.

18:25Mari:What?

18:25Greg:They all hate her because she has shiny scales and they don't have shiny scales. Is that what happened? Yes. None of the other fish had shiny scales and they all hated her. So she was sad.

18:36Mari:Wow. This is an intense book.

18:38Greg:I know.

18:38Mari:All right.

18:39Greg:And we're reading it and we're both like. And so what happened? So she goes, oh, I guess I'll just like remove all my shiny scales.

18:46Mari:And hand one of my scales to each one of the hundred fish so that we each have one shiny scale.

18:51Greg:Yeah. And at the end it was like, yay.

18:53Mari:And then at the end she was like, and then I just swam happily in the ocean because we all had one shiny scale.

18:58Greg:And me and Greg looked at each other and we were like, no, no, no, no, no.

19:01Mari:If you're, listen, no one gives Shaquille O 'Neal shit for being born 7 '2". Right. You're just born with what you've got. This fish was born with a hundred shiny scales. You don't need to remove any of the things that you were blessed with or that you're – everyone has their own set of advantages.

19:18Greg:Don't dull your shine.

19:20Mari:Don't dull your shine. So that book was – we have a wood-burning sauna that provided some great fuel that night.

19:26Greg:No, we both looked at each other and we were like – I was expecting another page to be like – and then she realized she should just own it.

19:33Mari:Yeah, yeah, I like that. You know, I was waiting for that. I like that. Because it almost made that you feel like if you're an outcast, you need to become one with the pack.

19:41Greg:Or if you're special.

19:42Mari:Yeah. It made you feel like that you shouldn't embrace being special or told you that you shouldn't embrace. Which, by the way, I felt like that. Yeah. Also, Kai happens to be massive. So he's going to be bigger than me when he's 14 years old, which is a whole other conversation. It's one of the reasons why I need to stay in shape so I can kick his ass.

19:58Greg:By the way, he's also out of his mind.

20:00Mari:Yes, he's crazy.

20:01Greg:Like day by day, we are screwed.

20:05Mari:Yeah.

20:06Greg:Like we need a full playground.

20:08Mari:He's become too powerful.

20:10Greg:Like I'll just be trying to put him down for a nap or like feeding him and he will push himself off my chest and look at me and just go.

20:17Mari:He's getting very strong.

20:18Greg:And lose it and just start trying to eat my nose and like grab my hair. He's so active. Yeah.

20:24Mari:Yeah. And he's very happy.

20:25Greg:He's bonkers. Like I've never seen such a small baby. Well, he's not small, but like four months old.

20:30Mari:Have you gone through in other episodes? Trying to crawl. Yeah, he's trying to crawl at four months.

20:34Greg:He gets pissed. If there's a toy that he can't reach, he's literally pissed.

20:40Mari:Have you gone through like the - Oh, now I'm pissed. Have you gone - Oh, wait, sorry. Wait, I want to ask you for the loser husband thing. So what's trending? Are they saying - Now are they saying that you shouldn't have a stay-at-home dad?

20:53Greg:I see both sides of the coin. I see -

20:55Mari:So this is a debate live time.

20:57Greg:I see both types of content. And I see people saying, don't marry a loser. And like the husband's like changing the diaper and doing the bottle.

21:06Mari:So they're saying that that's a loser.

21:08Greg:No, no. They're saying that's not a loser.

21:12Mari:Ah, ah, ah.

21:13Greg:Like in that scenario, you are a loser.

21:15Mari:I change diapers. What are you doing?

21:18Greg:Yeah, occasionally.

21:19Mari:I change diapers. Yeah, yeah. All right. So then, and then there's another side of the table that's just like, I married a provider. Like, is that the other take? The other one is like more trad wife energy.

21:29Greg:where like the husband goes to work and like.

21:31Mari:That's his role for the house.

21:34Greg:There's like a gray area, guys, you know?

21:36Mari:Well, I'm glad that you have a diverse algorithm. You're seeing both sides. Thanks. That's cool.

21:40Greg:Yeah. When I was pregnant, it was all the first one.

21:44Mari:It was all dad to be stay at home.

21:46Greg:Yeah, which by the way, gets in your head.

21:48Mari:Dude, I was home for the first month.

21:49Greg:Yeah, I know. The first month. By the way, that was the best.

21:53Mari:If you are an entrepreneur or married an entrepreneur, that's not true. If you are an entrepreneur, or married an entrepreneur, if you can have the baby around the holidays or around a period that is, you know, when he happens or he or she happens to be home from work, that was such an insane blessing because I was so concerned about needing to have a paternity leave and wanting a paternity leave during a very active time at Bloom. And since he was born on December 4th, I was already home because of Thanksgiving. So a week prior to his birth, I was home through Thanksgiving. And then I just pretty much stayed home, like, for the most part through Christmas and through New Year.

22:36Mari:So I was like, but I would have never been able to pull that off if it wasn't during December.

22:41Greg:Remember the first week you wanted to come back to the office? I was so scared because I was by myself.

22:46Mari:Oh, that's great. I remember the first time you even, like, drove him by yourself, which is still crazy to me. Like, going back to just, like, solo momming. Like there's this baby that's crying in the back seat. That is so unsafe. Like it's so distracting. It's so like, I get so scared when you're driving him by yourself.

23:02Greg:It's not unsafe.

23:03Mari:To me, but I know all you want to do is soothe him. And so if you're like in a situation where you can't pull over.

23:09Greg:Yeah, but now I'm a pro. Now I time it perfectly. I know when is a good time to go. Of course. I have the camera set up. Like I actually am not nervous anymore.

23:17Mari:You don't get distracted driving.

23:18Greg:I'm so proud of, huh?

23:19Mari:You don't get distracted driving if he's like making noise and stuff. Like you don't want to just like constantly check on the camera. Like, is he okay?

23:24Greg:I hold the camera up. Yeah. Like I'm looking. Yeah. But I'm also driving really carefully.

23:29Mari:Yeah. Have you gone through like the list of mom gadgets that you, that have just saved us?

23:36Greg:No.

23:37Mari:Cause like one of them is obviously just like you have a camera and not just like a mirror.

23:40Greg:Yeah. The girls have asked for that episode for like baby registry and stuff.

23:44Mari:Obviously baby Brezza, we love for formula for, uh, what's the one that cleans all the bottles?

23:50Greg:also a baby brazo

23:52Mari:we don't put the bottles and stuff in a dishwasher we put them in this like little dishwasher that's on the countertop just for bottles

23:58Greg:Spectra Pump

23:59Mari:David's bottles David's bottles

24:06Mari:what's the bottle with the tube that we use Dr. Brown Dr. Brown's bottles have been huge for us the glass bottles

24:12Greg:let's not forget what we used at the beginning everything's changing now we didn't use Dr.

24:17Mari:Brown's from the beginning

24:17Greg:We did, but like I was breastfeeding exclusively at the beginning. So we didn't have, we didn't use the formula.

24:22Mari:But if you overproduced, we would put it in a Dr. Brown's bottle.

24:26Greg:Yeah. Yeah.

24:27Mari:We always use Dr. Brown's bottle, whether it was formula or breast milk. What else has been like a life-saving gadget?

24:34Greg:When we had the gas, the...

24:36Mari:That wasn't actually that helpful.

24:38Greg:Wind pipes. Are you joking?

24:39Mari:I don't think I ever found him getting really... Honestly, we had a colic baby. And I say had because he got over it at 10 weeks. there was fucking nothing that helped we tried everything yeah they produced gas like gas came out but he was still furious like gas came out of the windy pipe but he was so furious yeah he was pissed dude colic is like out of all the things that we've cured in this world how have we not figured that the fuck out like colic babies man shout out to everyone who has a colic baby at home like that was the only reason I'm it makes me like feel this way is because he was so uncomfortable

25:13Greg:I know it was the saddest thing ever

25:15Mari:There's nothing we could do.

25:16Greg:The first night it happened, we almost went to the hospital.

25:19Mari:Yeah, because he would get so upset. He was sweating.

25:21Greg:Red. Sweating. Oh, man. Oh, it was so sad.

25:25Mari:I hate thinking about that.

25:26Greg:I know. And that was like, we didn't go out.

25:28Mari:No, of course not.

25:30Greg:But people would, no, people were taking their fresh babies out to coffee shops. And I was like, how?

25:35Mari:Yeah, we were pretty nervous about germs, too, for the first couple of weeks. Like, you would wait outside a cafe if we went to a cafe.

25:41Greg:Yeah.

25:41Mari:Yeah. Yeah. But honestly, now that we've done it, like, given without the colic part, like, the new -

25:49Greg:Now it's easy. Yeah.

25:50Mari:Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so much easier. I know. Hopefully he feels the same way.

25:53Greg:Like, the second baby, I feel like it's going to be chill.

25:56Mari:Oh, that's a whole other conversation.

25:57Greg:I'll probably eat my words.

25:58Mari:I was in the middle of downtown Austin at, like, 5.30 last night. I saw a mom pushing a stroller with three kids and had a dog.

26:06Greg:Yeah, that's crazy.

26:07Mari:I mean, it is just - Respect. I mean, you've been pushing a stroller with Lulu, though.

26:11Greg:It is crazy when you become a mom, how much your tolerance goes up for like chaos, chaos, because I am not someone that can handle a lot of chaos. And now like walking Kai and Lulu, like at the beginning, I was like, so overstimulated. Lulu's like pulling me. And I was like, there's no way I can walk them together. And now I do it every single day.

26:28Mari:And I think the dogs have kind of like registered what the hell is going on.

26:31Greg:Yeah.

26:32Mari:And they're just like, I'm just happy to be on a walk because I know mom will just bring me back if I'm like putting Kai in an unsafe situation.

26:38Greg:Yeah. But like, I, um, I do feel like I'm able to handle a lot more stress and chaos now. It's just, I've gotten way more used to it.

26:47Mari:Yeah.

26:47Greg:Um, I also wanted to talk about your deep dive into books lately.

26:53Mari:Just like total, like not parenthood wise.

26:56Greg:Can be parenthood related. Um, but like philosophical books and like, what have you been loving and what have you, like, how has it changed your life?

27:03Mari:So every time Every time I do a lap around the year, every time I do a lap around the, what the hell did I say? Like every time I get -

27:13Greg:A lap around the sun?

27:13Mari:Yeah. Every time I get a year older.

27:15Greg:Okay.

27:16Mari:Every time I get a year older. So on my birthday is probably what I'm trying to say.

27:20Greg:You are so dramatic. It's crazy.

27:21Mari:Every year on my birthday -

27:22Greg:You like look at the camera, you're like another lap around the sun. Yeah.

27:26Mari:Every, every year on my birthday, which is March 27th, every -

27:30Greg:Thanks for telling us.

27:31Mari:Well, because it's relevant. Every year for everyone, you should just know. Put it in the cow. Yeah, put it in the cow. Every year on my birthday, which is at the end of March, every year on New Year's, right, I try to write it down like a list of like, all right, this is what 31-year-old Greg looks like. This is what, you know, the Greg in 2026 looks like. And I keep the list down to like three, four, five, max seven things. and it could just be like, Greg is someone who reads. Greg is someone who, you know, looks put together every day that he goes to work. Like just like if someone were to explain what I look like from a stranger's point of view or who Greg is from a stranger's point of view, like what are a couple of quick things they would say?

28:16Mari:And I try to write those things down and then that's what I try to follow throughout the year or throughout the next few months, depending on the next time I make that list. And hopefully some of those habits stick. And so I did the same thing when Kai was born. and one of the things that I've always been very insecure about is my ability to read so I have extreme ADHD I'd actually never finished an entire book I mean honestly I probably never even got halfway into a book my entire 30 years on this planet um you know I would I would skim things I just cheated my way through school and so I had never read a book and I was very insecure about my ability to read my ADHD is so bad that I would if I was trying to read at the time, I would either have to read out loud or like literally use my fingers along the words to like keep my eyes in the right place.

29:02Mari:And generally after a few sentences, I would just zone out or like move on to a different thing. Right. I wanted Kai when he explained his father or thought about me, and hopefully he won't even have to think about this because it shouldn't be something you think about is my dad is someone who reads or knows how to read. Hopefully he won't need to tell somebody my dad knows how to read. And, uh, and so when, when Kai was born, I was home for a month or whatever it was. And I decided I'm going to buy some books and try to start reading. And I've gotten totally hooked to it. I've gotten totally hooked to the idea of like, especially books where it's people who have been somewhere that I want to be or in a perfect world, either ideologies from like that have stood the test of time.

29:47Mari:So like one of my favorite books, for example, would be John D. Rockefeller's, I think it's 36 letters to his son, which is obviously relevant also with, uh, you know, fatherhood. And there's like so many lessons that apply to the 2026 world. Um, I've loved everything related to Naval. So he's a modern day serial entrepreneur, but also modern day philosopher. Um, and there's a book, yeah, there's a book that has really summed up all of the content he's produced called the Navalman which was like very game changing for me. And now I'm reading the book of Elon, which is a similar idea. It's almost an encyclopedia of everything Elon has ever spoke about in terms of, uh, you know, his, his business success, not necessarily like his political views or anything.

30:35And yeah, I don't know.

30:37Mari:I've just gotten like totally hooked on it. And I think I, I, I wish I picked it up sooner and it has definitely become a majority of my media consumption. I think the, I think the social media was getting a little crazy. I was like, what kind of fucking 31 year old father is spending time on, you know, TikTok and Instagram? Like that's probably not like a trait that I am proud of. Uh, so I've, I've drastically limited that consumption and I've tried to replace it with literature.

31:05Greg:That's awesome.

31:06Mari:Yeah.

31:06Greg:How do you manage how much you read a day?

31:09Mari:And I guess where I would, but I would conclude that is like, now I kind of can read, which is super cool. Like you guys try it if you don't know how. Now I can kind of read and like, I'm like, you know, going chapters in and like, definitely the books aren't advanced. I find I have to read like the same thing three times, but I am absorbing a lot. Mercy self-help. Like. Oh, pure. No, no, no fiction. I haven't jumped into any fiction. We still watch.

31:32Greg:You know, you know, I love fiction.

31:34Mari:I feel like my fiction is generally the TV that we watch at night. Like we'll always watch like 30 minutes of a show at night. And like, that's enough fiction for me.

31:41Greg:I know. I just love fiction.

31:42Mari:Oh yeah. I'm sure it's awesome. And I'm sure there's like also really cool lessons from like some of the best fiction books. There are. Yeah.

31:48Greg:And you learn great vocabulary.

31:49Mari:That's also been cool.

31:51Greg:Reading was like a big thing in my house. For some reason, me and my sister are obsessed. Like that was what I did for fun. Like we would put down books.

31:58Mari:Yeah. And I've, you've always, I've always thought that was so cool about you guys.

32:01Greg:Yeah. Like on vacation, that's like my favorite thing to do is like get a really good book.

32:05Mari:Yeah.

32:05Greg:can't wait for the next. And honestly, reading and learning some modern philosophies has gotten

32:11Mari:me into the idea of sharing them through my content. Because like you learn, you read these philosophies that are kind of like these like laws that have just applied to the earth for hundreds of years. And you're like, oh, I've experienced that law. And like, here's a, here's two stories from my life where I've experienced that law. And I can just tell these stories on my Instagram and YouTube and teach this law to somebody who maybe hasn't picked up this book or hasn't, hasn't realized how this law could apply to their, you know, adult life.

32:38Greg:Yeah, totally. And it's inspired me to be reading more because I'll like have spurts of fictional reading and then I stop. But seeing you read a lot has like made me want to do the same.

32:50Mari:Yeah. And maybe, I don't know, your show might like this topic. One of the, it started as a very like individual, almost selfish thing that I was doing where I was like, Hey Mar, I'm now home. We have a baby here. I'm going to go sit outside and read for 30 minutes. And it was just like, you know, it was almost as if I was consuming social media outside for 30 minutes, which would be ridiculous. But it was a Mari knew as a priority of mine and she totally supported it. But now if, you know, you'll come sit next to me and you'll read too. And that's fucking awesome. And like, I think there's something to be said about spending time together, even if you're not like literally engaging with one another.

33:24Like it's been so nice just sitting next to you when I'm

33:27Mari:reading and like it feels like we're doing something together and yeah I'm reading a book called the courage to be disliked so it sounds really badass and I feel like it was literally

33:39Greg:like the universe put it in my hands because it is so me like I am the person that needs to read this book I think you would read it and probably actually not gain as much from it as me because

33:52Mari:Because you don't care. But it seems like motherhood has been this giant wave of like polarizing ideologies.

34:00Greg:Well, it's like this wake up call.

34:02Mari:But it's like whatever you choose, it's going to piss off somebody. Somebody's not going to agree with what you're doing.

34:07Greg:Honestly, that's something I've really been struggling with. I feel like I am constantly disappointing people because I'm not as fast to answer texts. I don't say yes to everything because it has to be worth it for me um it has to be very scheduled in advance like I can't just like pop over or like do things spontaneously how I used to and honestly like I because I wasn't the most social person in my 20s because we were building bloom like at college I was very social but that wasn't a good example of what friendship should be college you like literally live on top of each other you do everything together like it's not a healthy you both happen to be there kind of and you're like drinking 24 7 like it's not a good example of adult friendship i never really learned what adult friendship should look like right so when i moved to austin and i really wanted like a social life i dove in headfirst dove in headfirst but also like made myself way too available and like invested so much of my time and my energy and like headspace to other people.

35:18Greg:And that's something I like about myself because I care very much about my friends and like what they're going through. And I like being a support and like kind of being a therapy role in a way. But becoming a mom made me realize like I cannot pour so, so, so much energy into other people. Like I need to leave room for me, Kai and you. And I love being supportive where I can, but it's just not the same as it used to be.

35:47Mari:Yeah, you definitely weren't, you did not embrace the power of saying no, perhaps. And now you're throwing lots of no's.

35:54Greg:I know, which is hard for me because I really hate upsetting people. But I also like, I'm really excited to be in a place where I have friendships, where it's like we can go two weeks without seeing each other and we're just like back on the same page, you know?

36:10Mari:Yeah. And the book is like a Japanese origin.

36:13Greg:Yeah.

36:14Mari:I think that's so cool. I've only dove into like Marcus Aurelius and like Roman Empire type of ideologies if they aren't somebody domestic. And I could imagine just like Asia history unlocking some crazy stoicism type.

36:30Greg:well it's um adler the philosophy it's adler psychology it's it's anti-freudian i want to say like so the conversation in the book is between a student and a philosopher which makes it really easy to read because it's not just huge chunks of text it's conversational yeah but the student goes in with this idea that trauma and like what happened to you in your childhood shapes the way you are and there's nothing you can do about it and i've definitely like gone down that path a few times just blame trauma for something yeah you're like yeah i'm that way because this happened in my childhood yeah and i can't there's nothing i can do about it and the philosopher is saying well actually we all have a choice and you can choose to not so for the in this example the student um has no friends and like doesn't leave his apartment and whatever like doesn't have the life he wants and the philosopher's like it's easier for you to blame your trauma because it gives you a reason of why your life is the way it is very is the easiest option it's basically about it talks about victim mentality but it also talks about like if you constantly just try to please everyone, you end up living a life that is a lie.

37:53Yeah.

37:54Greg:And you will never be happy with yourself because you're just caught up in constantly performing for other people.

38:02Mari:I wonder if that hits you extra hard because you were a content creator and there's something to be said about like needing to live up to the avatar that you have always portrayed on social media. So I would imagine a lot of burnout from content creators comes from them portraying something they're not

38:23Greg:right and you've always been incredibly authentic yeah but because of this huge change in your life

38:29Mari:and you've continued to be authentic the change was probably what has made it so hard because it's like this is not why people were originally here perhaps yeah which is also probably why i I have not found content creation that hard, even though it's from in a unique angle, as you've expressed, because I'm just truly documenting.

38:51Greg:I when I'm reading this book, I'm like thinking about my original fitness journey and how that that was like my choice of like, well, sure, I had an interesting childhood and witnessed some things I shouldn't have. But like I'm choosing to create my own life regardless and like move forward. But even in that, I still like had a hard time forgiving people. And now I feel like I've found like so much forgiveness because I've recognized that my goal in life is to change the pattern in my family. So in order to do that, I need to forgive them.

39:27Mari:And I think that you can not hold a grudge while still never forgetting something that someone did. yeah but just like choosing to choosing peace yeah but also yes with what you said like the

39:41Greg:content creation is i feel like i never was an avatar like i was always being fully myself but now i don't know who i am so it's like a little more challenging i just you know i i think uh just

39:56Mari:being real we're only four and a half months into to i know it feels like it's been forever

40:01Greg:and so far by the way I way prefer myself now no I think you're doing great um you're totally

40:08Mari:crushing it but it feels like it's been forever but it's only been four and a half months so having any type of clarity would be incredible right now let alone full clarity just even getting

40:17Greg:little glimpses of like who I am as a mom and who I like what choices I make and like maybe the confidence I have in saying no and whatever anyway I think we should wrap this part of the conversation and this can be our part one episode and we can move into our q a for part two hit me with some q a's thank you for joining us on the pursuit of wellness podcast to support this show please rate and review and share with your loved ones if you want to be reminded of new episodes click the subscribe button on your preferred podcast or video player you can sign up for my newsletter to receive my favorites at marilowellan.com it will be linked in the show notes this podcast is a pursuit network production love you pow girls and pow boys i will see you next time the content of this show is for educational and informational purposes only it is not a substitute for individual medical and mental health advice and does not constitute a provider patient relationship as always talk to your doctor or health team