Nigel and the Real Gannet

3:27Chris Bell:Two diving petrol burrows to check.

3:29Annie McEwen:Counting seabirds and...

3:30Chris Bell:Cutting grass for the better part of the day.

3:32Annie McEwen:Clearing meadows.

3:33Chris Bell:checking wax tags, that monitor for invasive rodents,

3:36Annie McEwen:keeping the island pest-free, and just generally

3:38Chris Bell:clearing weeds, digging culverts, tending the nursery, building and dismantling. Doing what needed doing. On a fine day, I took a backpack sprayer up to the Gannet colony.

3:47Annie McEwen:His work took him all over the island, sometimes as far as one of the more unusual conservation projects.

3:52Chris Bell:It's a little off the main track.

3:54Annie McEwen:The Gannet colony. Do you know what a Gannet is?

3:57Chris Bell:A Gannet? A seabird?

3:59Annie McEwen:Yeah, yes, but not just any seabird. Gannis are seabird royalty. They're snowy white with black wingtips and yellow heads.

4:08Chris Bell:I mean, they're beautiful flyers. They're a big bird. They're very elegant. They glide along.

4:12Annie McEwen:And when hunting for fish.

4:13Chris Bell:They tuck their wings in and their neck stretched out. They're billed down.

4:17Annie McEwen:They dive like fighter jets.

4:19Chris Bell:Into the water in a big splash. I mean, one of the most spectacular sights you can see.

4:23Annie McEwen:And sounds you can hear. Like these birds are loud.

4:26Chris Bell:Oh, it's incredibly noisy. It's, it's...

4:29Annie McEwen:Can you mimic that sound?

4:31Chris Bell:Absolutely not. Not in a million years. Please? No, no. I couldn't. Like, no.

4:39Annie McEwen:Huh. They sound like this. And on a regular basis, Chris would busy himself with

4:45Chris Bell:Weeding the colony.

4:46Annie McEwen:And scrubbing the gannets.

4:48Chris Bell:To remove the lichen blooms that have colonized them.

4:50Annie McEwen:Because they'd get covered in moss.

4:52Chris Bell:Mm-hmm. You know, it's not such a convincing or alluring feature of a bird if they've got moss growing on their heads.

4:58Annie McEwen:Wait, what? They have moss on their heads? They do, because these gannets are fake.

5:04Chris Bell:The gannets are fake? A bunch of concrete gannets.

5:07Annie McEwen:Painted white with yellow heads, black wingtips.

5:10Chris Bell:Placed around in kind of naturalistic positions. And the sound is a recording playing over speakers. And, like, why did they make a bunch of fake gannets?

5:22Annie McEwen:Well, the Department of Conservation put them there, like, in the mid-90s, like years and years before Chris showed up, to try to lure gannets to the island with the hopes of establishing a new gannet colony.

5:34Chris Bell:Where gannets can increase their numbers and grow and have another safe haven in a very unpredictable and changing world.

5:41Annie McEwen:The only problem is gannets prefer to nest where other gannets are already nesting. So how do you get gannets to come to a place that has no gannets? Well, one way is to make some and then you wait. and wait and wait and wait the months the years ticked by the fake gannets would fade volunteers would repaint them paint the rocks around them white to look like poop reposition the speakers but still

6:12Chris Bell:for I guess nearly 20 years

6:14Annie McEwen:this project was a failure

6:16Chris Bell:totally unsuccessful

6:20Annie McEwen:no gannets no no yeah

6:26Annie McEwen:But then, one day, a beautiful snowy white male gannet with golden head and black-tipped wings flew in, hovered over the decoys, and he landed, checked the place out.

6:40Chris Bell:Decided that the colony was a good place.

6:42Annie McEwen:And then he moved in.

6:44Chris Bell:This was huge. Absolutely huge, because he's a lot more convincing than the concrete replicas. replicas.

6:52Annie McEwen:This bird was momentum.

6:54Chris Bell:This is the pioneer. This is the Johnny Appleseed of gannets.

6:57Annie McEwen:Exactly. He was now going to be the lure for other gannets to come. And he was given the name Nigel. Nigel no mates. Oh. Because soon it became apparent that this bird

7:13Chris Bell:Oh gosh.

7:14Annie McEwen:was maybe a little different.

7:18Chris Bell:I mean it somehow

7:20Annie McEwen:It seemed as though Nigel was taking a shine to one particular decoy. Was she in any way different than the others? Was she, like, was there something about her that was... No.

7:32Chris Bell:No, not to me. Not to me. No.

7:36Annie McEwen:Huh. She was one of the sitting gannets, wings tucked by her sides, head raised, painted eyes gazing out over the ocean. I'm just wondering why he chose her.

7:48Chris Bell:My gosh. And yeah, that's a mystery for the ages.

7:55Annie McEwen:Gannets are sort of famous for their bonding rituals.

7:58Chris Bell:Courtship is really important.

7:59Annie McEwen:They'll do these almost dances.

8:01Chris Bell:Calling to one another, stretching their necks out high, opening their wings.

8:05Annie McEwen:Raising their beaks up slowly towards the sky before quickly clacking them together.

8:10Chris Bell:All part of just reaffirming the bond and being a partnership.

8:13Annie McEwen:And Nigel began to do a sort of one-sided version of this with the decoy.

8:20Chris Bell:He would do the whole big display thing of, you know, of putting up his wings.

8:25Annie McEwen:Gently resting his head on top of her head.

8:27Chris Bell:And doing a nice big call.

8:29Annie McEwen:He even built her a nest.

8:30Chris Bell:Just a low platform of sticks and muds and tufts of grass.

8:35Annie McEwen:And when he wasn't at sea, that's where he would be. By her side. Because the thing is, Gannets are socially monogamous. Oh. And often mate for life. Oh. As time passed...

8:51Chris Bell:Lonely Gannett finds love with concrete statues. The local paper in Wellington, you ran stories from time to time on him. He's a lovely bird, but he's a bit confused.

9:00Annie McEwen:More and more people began to hear about Nigel and his choice of mate, and...

9:04Chris Bell:It touched some sort of nerve with people. He's really taken with... This idea of a lonely bird. He's obviously quite desperate. Finding a mate who doesn't really exist. Attempting to impress what he appears to believe is a real female bird. And the sort of the sadness and the tragic comedy of that situation.

9:23Annie McEwen:And Nigel had been living there alone for almost a year.

9:25Chris Bell:18th of August 2016. The morning was great, interestingly, without a breath of wind.

9:29Annie McEwen:By the time that Chris showed up.

9:31Chris Bell:Nigel was in his usual spot.

9:32Annie McEwen:To find that he shared the island with this strange...

9:36Chris Bell:I... Neighbour. ...sort of tempted to spin a tale of seeing him as competition and just dividing the island between us. And, you know, this island's only big enough for one misanthropic loner, Yeah, Nigel, you stick to your side of the island and I'll have mine.

9:53Annie McEwen:It's funny because I'm trying hard not to anthropomorphize him, but if I just indulge for a second and imagine from Nigel's perspective, watching this bizarre, tall man slouching around the island, just alone. And he's like, I'm so worried about that Chris guy. He just seems so lonely. He doesn't seem to miss human company. He needs a statue. Yeah, exactly. That's right. But what Chris was really thinking about when it came to Nigel was, what can I do?

10:21Chris Bell:As wonderful as it is to have one gannet, you don't want just one gannet, you want a bunch.

10:27Annie McEwen:And one bird, no matter how hard it tries, cannot make more birds with a statue.

10:32Chris Bell:So yeah, that is the difficulty.

10:36Annie McEwen:And so he would occasionally head over to the colony, clean the decoys, make sure the speakers were working, watch Nigel, watch the empty skies above him. and that's how things were.

10:51Annie McEwen:Until 25th of December. A Christmas miracle.

10:55Chris Bell:Just before Christmas. It would just be before Christmas. Tell me. Oh, it was absolutely amazing.

10:59Annie McEwen:Okay, I'm going to imagine you're walking, you're doing your daily walk. You walk towards the Gannett colony and you hear sounds. Is this any, you have no idea. You don't remember? I'm like, I remember being

11:15Chris Bell:greatly elated. The great surprise came yesterday on my visit to the Gannet colony when I saw no less than four actual Gannets in place.

11:24Annie McEwen:Oh my god. Three more real-life Gannets had finally come. On Christmas? Yes.

11:29Chris Bell:This is unprecedented and coming only 10 days after our repositioning the speaker system, it fills me with pride. This group were just doing exactly what Nigel had done several years before. They'd been lured in, they'd landed, they were interested, displaying to each other. They were checking out the replicas. And 5th of January 2018, again, I saw four gannets at the colony.

11:50Annie McEwen:They seemed to sort of settle in.

11:52Chris Bell:Gosh.

11:52Annie McEwen:Finally, Nigel the live bird was a powerful enough lure to bring in these other live birds like he did his job.

12:00Chris Bell:Yeah. Yeah.

12:05Annie McEwen:At least that's how everyone thought this was going to go.

12:09Chris Bell:What actually happened after the break.

12:14Annie McEwen:After the break, you mother flippers. You can say that.

12:16Chris Bell:Oh, I love that. What actually happened after the break, you mother flippers. That's good.

12:24Annie McEwen:That's really good. I like it. Radio Lab is supported by Capital One. With no fees or minimums on checking accounts, it's no wonder the Capital One bank guy is so passionate about banking with Capital One. If he were here, he wouldn't just tell you about no fees or minimums. He'd also talk about how Capital One cafes are open seven days a week to assist with your banking needs, even on weekends. It's pretty much all he talks about in a good way. What's in your wallet? Terms apply. See CapitalOne.com slash Bank Guy. Capital One N-A member FDIC.

12:53Chris Bell:Each week on the Sam Sanders show from KCRW, we ask big questions and share hot takes about the pop culture we love. Sometimes I see my therapist as like a captive audience. I do not need to be crying and stressed about cross-stressing. You are supposed to make the audience laugh. Not shock them into laughter. They want to laugh. The Sam Sanders Show from KCRW. Wherever you get your podcasts and on YouTube.

13:25Chris Bell:Latif, Radiolab, back from break with Annie and Chris and Nigel.

13:32Annie McEwen:Yeah, so Nigel the Gannet lived alone with his concrete decoy lover for a couple years. And then finally, three more live Gannets come. And now Nigel can be with his own kind.

13:44Chris Bell:Now he can have real friends.

13:45Annie McEwen:Now he can have real friends. Maybe a real mate.

13:47Chris Bell:Yeah. Except... No.

13:53Annie McEwen:No.

13:56Chris Bell:Love concretes all one lovebird's tale.

13:59Annie McEwen:The local paper published a picture of the colony at this time. And you can see in the foreground, there are the three new live gannets mingling among the decoys. and in the background, way, way on the other side of the colony, there's Nigel. And this was apparently the common arrangement because these new gannets...

14:21Chris Bell:They really, really didn't go anywhere near Nigel and he had no interest whatsoever in them. This group of gannets and Nigel completely ignored one another.

14:33Annie McEwen:Huh. Now the newspaper's headline read...

14:36Chris Bell:Gannet with a heart of stone. He's got live company, but he prefers a concrete decoy.

14:44Annie McEwen:People were sort of amused, a little disappointed maybe, but...

14:49Chris Bell:You know, bird courtship is intricate.

14:52Annie McEwen:Chris knew that these were early days.

14:54Chris Bell:Just because, you know, these other birds turned up, it's not going to be immediate chemistry. You know, to find a lifelong mate is a deliberate strategy to be cautious and to make sure it's the right one.

15:04Annie McEwen:These things take time. Yeah.

15:07Chris Bell:there's always hope.

15:11Annie McEwen:But now...

15:12Chris Bell:This just feels like the wrong ending to the story.

15:16Annie McEwen:Because those birds...

15:18Chris Bell:Unfortunately, yeah, they didn't stay.

15:20Annie McEwen:...ultimately flew away and didn't come back.

15:22Chris Bell:No.

15:23Annie McEwen:And during Chris's tenure on the island, no other gannets would come.

15:27Chris Bell:It could just be where we as humans have chosen to put this potential gannet colony doesn't suit gannets. Maybe the fishing grounds are too far, maybe the aspect is wrong. It could just be a bunch of things.

15:40Annie McEwen:The idea of decoy, like these decoy colonies, is this a thing that they do with other birds and it's successful in other parts of the world? Yeah, yeah.

15:48Chris Bell:It's a tried and tested means and it's led to some amazing, amazing conservation successes, bringing birds back to places they should be. And, you know, each of those projects that has succeeded has had a lonely first bird, has had a Nigel, and they've made that leap.

16:08Annie McEwen:But in this case, actually...

16:10Chris Bell:31st of January, 2018.

16:12Annie McEwen:Only a few weeks after those new Gannets arrived.

16:15Chris Bell:Bright, sunny, hot day. This is reputed to be the hottest month in New Zealand's history. It was a scorcher. And the days were baking. And I can't remember the reason I went up to the colony, probably just to do some work on the sound speakers. So there's a slight crest of a hill before you look then down on the sweep of the small promontory where the Gannet colony is. and I could see right away something wasn't right.

16:41Annie McEwen:Nigel was there, in his nest.

16:43Chris Bell:There, but his position wasn't right. And I walked down, and Nigel was just prone with his wings spread out, and his head to one side. Up in the gyna colony, I found Nigel dead on his nest. He had no visible injury.

17:06Chris Bell:Nigel, the lonely Gannett found dead beside his concrete love. 3rd February 2018 Nigel's death was published in the Dominion Post. The world's loneliest seabird. For several days the phone has not stopped for interviews. The futility of his life and bleak melancholy of his end have attracted worldwide attention. 6th February 2018 Nigel spent his whole life loving, never getting anything in return. The world's media seem to like the story of a lovesick bird dying of heartbreak at the Stonian difference of his concrete mate. Oh, man, this story is just such a bummer.

17:40Annie McEwen:Yeah, I mean, I think that's one way to look at it. Nigel, the lonely Gannet, may never have found real love. And that's the way that most people looked at it.

17:48Chris Bell:But are we not all Nigel?

17:49Annie McEwen:A lot of people saw themselves in Nigel.

17:51Chris Bell:Nigel stands for all of us who are incapable of facing reality.

17:55Annie McEwen:Their own heartbreak, their own isolation.

17:57Chris Bell:He died as he lived, confused and alone.

18:04Annie McEwen:But of course, that's us pacing ourselves onto Nigel's story, which, if you're a conservationist like Chris, it's not really something you do. But on the other hand...

18:14Chris Bell:I definitely felt a kinship in the way that I think when you work with wild animals, you realize that they are as individual as we are. They all have individual characteristics and personalities. No two are the same, and we're no different.

18:32Annie McEwen:Did you ever think, is there something wrong with Nigel?

18:36Chris Bell:Well, I think he must have been an unusual bird in a way in that he was one of those, I imagine he would have been one of those birds who had some more of the instinct to go and try something new, to find a new home. Very new. Yeah. Yeah, just like in human populations, most of us, you know, what's Stakelostome. I think he was part of that group with a bit more wanderlust.

19:07Annie McEwen:Gannet populations rely on birds like Nigel. Birds that are a little bit different. Birds that are willing to try something new. Otherwise, there never would be any new colonies, and the species would be stuck on those same overcrowded cliffs forever. And we can't know. Of course we can't know. We'll never know. But maybe a bird who's not afraid to leave his community, to strike out on his own, maybe that kind of bird is not going to want the thing that we think it should want.

19:37Chris Bell:Yeah. Like, we clearly know what Chris was thinking and wanted to happen here. But, like, we really don't know what Nigel wanted.

19:58Chris Bell:They've all been making plans for Nigel And by they I mean the ornithologists

20:11Chris Bell:They live in houses made of bricks and glass Nigel is alone at the edge of a cliff But bird banners fill binders and books with his biography They note his habits and record his squawks on TikTok phones

20:37Annie McEwen:Meanwhile, Nigel wonders why don't they ever ask me I could tell them there's a difference Between being lonely and being alone

20:57Annie McEwen:Did you ever feel lonely?

21:00Chris Bell:Um, not really. I don't really feel... That's not something I feel too much. Alone on my night, I sank into a malaise brought on perhaps by days of grim grey rain. into darkness barely cheered by the struggling fire kindled from damp wood. I mean, I do occasionally. Maybe a little bit. I've predicted Nigel's commitment to bachelorhood Called to the concrete colony By a cassette

21:34Annie McEwen:Nigel noticed the other birds Didn't fly or flap around He remembered an old French peacock had told him

21:44Chris Bell:Hell is over birds Thought, well, this is just the kind of place I'd like to settle down

22:05Annie McEwen:Is there still sounds being broadcast out?

22:09Chris Bell:Yes, yes.

22:11Annie McEwen:And is his mate, the one that he chose, still there?

22:16Chris Bell:Yes, yes, definitely. Really? For sure.

22:20Annie McEwen:I don't know, for me, I just can't stop thinking about that decoy bird, Nigel's partner. Her faded eyes, right this moment, staring out to sea.

22:32Chris Bell:All the dumb scientists. Himself he was no bird brain And his heart was huge So he chose a concrete mate And he built her a nest He figured it was what they wanted him to do Nigel did most of the talking

22:58Annie McEwen:But he was used to that Usually they just sat there and stared out to sea

23:09Chris Bell:When he died, Carl carved Nigel's tiny tombstones at the top But here lies Nigel began it Alone but never lonely Thank you, Annie. And thank you as well to The Burning Hell, the band that let us play their song about Nigel. Nigel the Gannet is the name of the song. Check them out. You can find more about them and even how you can see them live at theburninghell.com. This episode was reported and produced by Annie McEwen, edited by Alex Neeson. Facts checked by Diane Kelly with voice acting by Maya Appleby-Melamed and David Gable. Special thanks to Melody Thomas and Kirsten Johnstone from the New Zealand narrative podcast company Popsock Media.

23:55Chris Bell:Thanks also to Matthias Korn and Ariel Sherratt from The Burning Hell. and Stephen Lampke at You've Changed Records. For updates on the epic conservation project that is Mana Island, visit Friends of Mana Island at manaisland.org.nz. I especially recommend that if you are a gannet real estate agent. There's really a lot of vacancy there. Primo properties that are just waiting to be gannetized. It's funny, you just heard a song, But actually many, many people wrote songs and poems about Nigel, including one piece of music that debuted at the Sydney Opera House. No kidding. Find a link to this as well as to some other works of art inspired by Nigel on our website, radiolab.org.

24:43Chris Bell:And just before we go, if you haven't gotten enough animal stories for today, I wanted to let you know that the Terrestrials team just dropped a scrappy little episode about the scrappy little raccoon Jimothy, who, if you don't already know from your social media feed, is the Seattle raccoon that has been going viral this summer. The episode includes an ecologist who has closely studied Jimothy, a disability advocate who tries to make sense of our love for Jimothy. And if that's not enough, the episode is also infused with lots of 90s Seattle grunge nostalgia because, of course, it is given the terrestrials soundscape.

25:24Chris Bell:Yeah. Anyway, just check it out. You might get a kick out of it. Search for the Jimothy over on the terrestrials podcast. Um, yeah, that's it for us. Thank you. Thank you. And catch you right back here next week.

25:38Annie McEwen:Hi, I'm Jonquil and I'm from Brooklyn. And here are the staff credits. Radiolab is hosted by Lulu Miller and Latif Nasser. Soren Wheeler is our executive editor. Sarah Sandback is our executive director. Our managing editor is Pat Walters. Dylan Keefe is our director of sound design. Our staff includes Jeremy Bloom, W. Harry Fortuna, David Gable, Maria Paz Gutierrez, Sindhu Nyanam Zambandan, Matt Keelty, Mona Madgauka, Annie McEwen, Alex Neeson, Sarah Kari, Natalia Ramirez, Joanna Strogatz, Anisa Vietza, Ariane Wack, Molly Webster, and Jessica Young, with help from Gabby Santos and Maya Appleby-Malamet.

26:20Annie McEwen:Our fact checkers are Nora Belblidia, Hilary Elkins, Rachel Gross, Diane Kelly, Emily Krieger, Natalie Middleton, and Sophie Samai.

26:33Annie McEwen:Hi, I'm Aubrey calling from Salt Lake City, Utah. Leadership support for Radiolab's science programming is provided by the Simons Foundation and the John Templeton Foundation. Foundational support for Radiolab was provided by the Alfred P. Sloan Foundation.