In short
SmartLess Podcast Episode Notes
Episode Title
"Claire Danes"
Podcast Hosts
Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett
Episode Description: This episode features Claire Danes as the mystery guest, where the hosts engage in a lively discussion about various topics, including personal hygiene routines, parenting, acting, and her new series "The Beast and Me." The conversation is marked by humor, candidness, and insight into the lives of the guests.
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Key Highlights
Introduction
- The hosts engage in light banter regarding personal grooming, particularly facials and manicures.
- Discussion about the frequency and experiences related to these self-care practices.
- Revelations about Jason's past habits, including a period of going commando during "Arrested Development."
Guest Introduction
Claire Danes
- Claire Danes is introduced, celebrated for her extensive career and accolades, including multiple Emmy and Golden Globe awards.
- Discussion about her family life, including her children's ages and the surprise of having a third child at 44.
Parenting and Family Life
- Claire shares experiences of parenting teenagers and toddlers, discussing the age gaps between her children.
- Insights into how her busy acting career intersects with family responsibilities.
Acting Career Insights
- Conversation about Claire's early career, including her breakthrough role in "My So-Called Life" and how it shaped her journey.
- She reflects on the impact of her roles and how they have influenced her personally and professionally.
- Claire discusses her preparation for roles, including her experience of shadowing a neurosurgeon for her upcoming role in "The Beast and Me."
Current Projects
- Discussion of her new show "The Beast and Me," which is a psychological thriller featuring a complex narrative about grief and accountability.
- Claire plays a successful writer whose life spirals after a tragic accident involving her son.
- The dynamics with her co-star, Matthew Rhys, and the engaging nature of their character interactions.
Directing and Creative Processes
- Claire reflects on her experiences working with various directors, including Francis Ford Coppola and Baz Luhrmann.
- Discusses the different directing styles and how they impact the performances of actors.
- Claire’s desire to understand directing better, even if she doesn’t see herself directing in the near future.
Personal Growth and Therapy
- Claire discusses her long-standing relationship with therapy and its benefits in navigating her career and personal life.
- Acknowledges the challenges of maintaining mental health in the public eye and the importance of self-care.
Conclusion
- The hosts express admiration for Claire's career longevity and her ability to stay relevant in the industry.
- They wrap up the episode highlighting the importance of being engaged and warm, drawing inspiration from Claire’s interactions.
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Key Takeaways
- Self-Care Practices: The hosts’ humorous take on grooming reveals a broader conversation about men's grooming habits and societal expectations.
- Parenting Dynamics: Claire's experiences highlight the complexities of raising children across different age groups and the balance of work and family life.
- Career Reflections: Insights into Claire’s career trajectory resonate with anyone in the arts, emphasizing the unpredictability and challenges of maintaining a long career.
- Mental Health Awareness: The discussion reinforces the importance of therapy and personal growth, particularly in the high-pressure environment of Hollywood.
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Closing Remarks The episode is a light-hearted yet profound conversation that showcases Claire Danes' charisma and depth as an actress and individual, while also offering relatable insights for anyone navigating careers and families in today's world.
Written by AI. May contain mistakes. Listen to the episode to check what was said.
Transcript
Automatic transcript. May contain errors.0:12That was a good drink. Speaking of drinking things up, welcome to Smartless. Smart. Less.
0:23Smart. Less.
0:30Smart. Less. So, listener, you've missed 10 seconds of this, another attempt at us doing a podcast where I mentioned how fresh Will looks. And then Will seemed to imply he knew his way around the verbiage of a facial. And I had a facial scheduled for the other day because my wife is very— What was the dude's name? Oh, you. My wife's very diligent about getting me a facial, making sure I get a facial every, like, six months. and um i gotta say i don't push back a lot yeah you know because you because it feels good it's comfy it's comfy it feels good i i feel weird with you know i got a tiny bit of uh prepubescent facial hair on my on my face and uh i wonder if it's i'm just wasting my time in there i don't know what they effectiveness they do a lot of guys like that i i i forget to shave a lot of times too but you know, I just got one last week and it was really bad.
1:39Yeah, well, that's what I was going to ask. How often am I the only guy here? No, I get them like once or twice a year. But the last one I had, I didn't, this is no offense to anybody, I just didn't understand a lot of what she said. So she was, you know. Why would anybody take any offense at that? Well, I just didn't understand her. Unless you want to do an imitation of what she sounded like. And then we'll decide if it's offensive. No, I do not want to. I just am stating a fact I did not understand. It's probably my fault. I was trying to drag you into deep water. Let me just, can you just reveal what continent she may have been from?
2:15Well, that's good. Something Eastern, Asia. But not Eastern European because it'd be a different accent. But, well, anyway. I feel like I've had a couple of facials in my time as well. I think I've probably had eight total in my life, and I think they've generally been Eastern European bent. That's right. Wait, you're saying you're under oath now, sir. You need to understand. No, no, I assume I'm always. Only eight facials in your life? Maybe 10. Yeah. God, I don't know about that. Honestly, honestly. Really? You don't like them? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do like them and it's one of those things. It's kind of like massages.
2:52I always forget. Yeah, I fall asleep. I do it and then I go, oh, this is great. How many times have you had your fingers and toes done? While the facials? No, no, no. Are we talking mani-pedi? Yeah, Beth. Okay. I would say... Less or more than your face? I got my first time I ever had a pedicure, manicure, was when I was 30. No, but I was about 31, probably, 32. Yeah. So it's been, what, 30 years since then? So that's over 25 years. So it's like 25 years. And so I would say I probably have, I don't know, 25? So more on the fingers and the toes. Oh, yeah. Oh, really? Generally not the fingers. Generally just the toes because they get kind of gnarly.
3:42Right. And my heel gets gnarly. You like an open-toe shoe. I used to. Remember, I used to wear a lot of flips. Well, you don't wear socks ever. And I never wear socks. So my heels get kind of gross. They'd get all cracked. Do you wear underwear? Yes. Okay. Why are we focusing on... Jason never wears underwear. No, there was a stretch there through Arrested Development where I went commando for some weird reason. And then he'd go for a pee, and then he'd wrap his unit in toilet paper for half an hour so he could soak up all the driplets. I was rushing to get back on camera, and I don't want a spot.
4:14And then 20 minutes later, like in between setups, he'd like pull out this disgusting toilet paper and put it in a 35-gallon trash can. That's untrue. On set. True story. So, wow. So mani-pedis, often, facial, not so much. Not often. I mean, I probably got one in the spring, mani-pedi. I like going at like 9 a.m. I go to a spot. I've gotten to a few times. I like going at 9 a.m. This is disgusting. Right when they, by the way, says you, you live like a pampered prince. If people knew how you live. Dude, I don't have a target time I like to hit my mani-pedis on, you know, at my, what was that, my spot?
4:55Is that what you said? I have a spot? My spot. I have a spot over here. And it's always fingers and toes at the same time. You ever go in for just the one, one or the other, because you rush for time? Feet. Just feet. It's primarily feet. And also, like, because they rub your feet. So it feels nice. You like to soak, don't you? But I would say in 25 years, probably 25 times. That's average of once a year. Shawnee, what about you? I've gotten a Maddie Petty. The last one I got, she scrubbed my calves so hard, I broke out into hives after it was over. Huh. I'm definitely Eastern European. That's not a thing.
5:26No, that was on Larchmont. But that has nothing to do with her doing the calves. Yeah, it was terrible. Well, listen, thanks for the weird morning chat. Wait, wait, hold on one second. I forgot. I have something I need to say and announce. Oh, no. I'm going to be doing a show called The... Sorry, we're out of time. Great having you on the show. Sean, best of luck in whatever you're doing. Good luck. We never got to it. All right. So this is a one act? where is it? Williamstown? No. This is a show called The Unknown. It's a one-man play which is now, I guess people are calling them solos. Really?
6:04It's written by David Kale, directed by Lee Silverman. It's at Studio Seaview in New York City for 10 weeks only. Tickets are on sale now at theunknownplay.com. Wait, when does it start? January 31st. January 31st. May I just say publicly here, I've said to you privately, I just think it's so freaking admirable and badass that you raised your hand and said yes to doing a one-man show is like, I mean, you know, seeing Krasinski do his thing, our buddy Billy Crudup has done it, Laura Lee. Yeah, by the way, that's the same writer-director of that show. Yeah? It's like, what a monumental thing to take on.
6:44You convince me, I'll go see. I just check in my schedule. I can't wait. It's unknown. Who knows what will happen? It's unknown. I'm so proud of you, Shawnee. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Because it's very easy to just sit back and not do anything and just enjoy, but you're challenging yourself and it's rad. Thank you, thank you. I'm not going to come, but I do think that it will probably be good. All right. Well, thank you for that. Yeah. Who are your co-stars? Yeah, so it's... That's my friend who listens a lot. Theunknownplay.com. That's where you get your tickets. Theunknownplay.com, and it starts the end of January.
7:29Get your tickets now. I will be there with bells on. Thank you, thank you. Let's get to our guest. We're going to ask her what her hygiene routine is. I'll bet it's significant, because you know what? This is called self-care. It's not hygiene, it's self-care, by the way. Yeah, self-care. She's been impressing critics and audiences for over 30 years, you guys, achieving incredible success, yet finds herself even more relevant today than ever before. She's been awarded multiple Emmys, Golden Globes, SAGs, all that crap. And she's been named one of time's most influential people in the world. That's something none of us can say.
8:05Never will. She's Yale educated. Also, you can't say that. She's a proud mother of three. You can't say that. And she's very kind to the women of Afghanistan. Can you guys say that? No. Guys, let's welcome Chris and Clara's girl, the one and only Claire Danes. Come on out. Hi, guys. Oh, my gosh. I'm such a big fan. Hi. Right? I mean, she's everything. Look at her. It's really nice to meet you. The gang. And you. Yeah. You have all had more facials than I have, I think, ever. Is that true? Come on. Yeah. Really? Occasionally, like, I'm gifted a facial by, I don't know. Right. Like a start gift from an agent.
8:50Yes. Right. Something like that. And I'll go. A start gift. And I enjoy it, but I, yeah, I forget to. But I do get my nails done weekly. Yeah. Okay. Because it's like my office. I get a lot of work done. I never do the fingers. I experimented with the gels for a little while, but that was quite stressful because, I don't know. And it's also a whole different look, right? I mean, I've got two daughters, and I'm starting to get educated on the gels versus let's have some discipline and let it grow out naturally. Yeah. I feel like it is a cultural statement to have gels on. It is. And you have to go back to get them off.
9:29So that is the hard part. That made me feel kind of panicked and claustrophobic. Or you can be on the volleyball team, and then they just come off naturally. Right. Well, but I don't play enough volleyball. I like the way JB couches it in, oh, my daughter's helped educate me. Like, fucking bullshit. I know how you live, baby. Nice to fucking try. My weekend gel sessions. How many times does he go like, oh, well, my kids really. I'm like, no, you like it. I like gels. I used to drag my son Cyrus, our eldest son, with me to the salon. And at about five, he had had enough. But until then, and then I had to bribe him with like an iPad.
10:12No, no, but I just really enjoyed that experience of going with him. What about old fancy dancy? Does he get the feet and toes done? Very, very occasionally. You've got to keep your man tight, you know? Yeah. Or are you the kind of gal that likes their guy to have a little bit of dirt under the nails? It depends what kind of dirt. If it's like cute upstate dirt, sure. Right. That's very cute dirt. Because some women, some women, they're kind of turned off by a guy that actually keeps himself very clean. I'm one of those guys, I would turn a woman off. I respect it. I understand thread count. I understand candles and syrups and things.
10:55No, I'm for it. I'm not like a man's man. No, no. That's a quote.
11:06You won't find me on a horse unless... Hang on a second. I'm emailing this marvelous merch people right now. We got a new hoodie coming out. I'm not a fan.
11:20Claire, where are we finding you? What part of the world? What side of the United States are you on right now? I live in New York City. Yes. So jealous. This looks like it could be a brownstone too. It's a brownstone. We've been here not for very long. We've been here about a year because we had this oopsie daisy third baby. Oh, she's going to love hearing that. You've got to be careful. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not, yeah. I was so old when that happened. I was 44. How old is the baby? How old is the baby? She's two now. Oh, cute. Wait, you got pregnant at 44? I sure did. Golly. Yeah. Good for you. Good for Hugh.
12:00I didn't think it was possible. I really didn't. Very rare. So, no, I was terrified. But it all was okay. Can I use the term blessing? What a blessing. It was. Total blessing. How did you find having a surprise, as you said, a surprise blessing at that point? Well, you know, it was actually really interesting because I did not foresee this at all. And it was weird. Suddenly I felt like a funny shame. Really? People are going to know I made love. Yeah, like I was naughty. Like I had been caught like fornicating past the point I was meant to. No, it was weird because I was, and it was like I found an edge that I didn't, I hadn't been quite conscious of.
12:52Like there's a certain, like I was going outside of the parameters a little bit. Right, which is supposed to be. And that was wild. What's the age spread with the kid right before it? so Cyrus is 12 he'll be 13 in December Rowan our second boy is 7 and then Shay so there's about 5 years between each but it's a trip I mean I have a teenager and a toddler and this last one is a girl? a girl yeah I know I got really really lucky my OBGYN was like you know you're having another boy but no turns out you would have been pissed off You definitely would have been pissed off. I would have been delighted.
13:38But I am more delighted that I, yeah, that she's pretty cool. And she loves a tutu. Oh, yeah. Who doesn't? Who doesn't? A tutu and a tattoo. I am noticing that this five-year gap is very good. My eldest has just left the house for college. And the fact that I've still got a 13-year-old, so I've got another five years before I get really, really depressed is great. instead of just usually that usual gap of, what, two, three years or something like that. Yeah, you get built in. I say, I've got a five-year-old and an almost 17-year-old as of next week. Right. Yeah. It's kind of a trip. It's great.
14:17It's amazing. I have a five-year-old dog. Yeah. Sean, with your dog, you're going to be moving into a 3-3 pretty soon. I mean, let's be honest. Sorry. Do you take him to get pedicures too? Do you have to bribe him with the iPad as well? No, I don't. I don't go often enough, despite how Jason was trying to frame me. No, I was asking Sean about his dog. Oh, his Sean's dog. Yeah, exactly. How often do you get Ricky's toes done? Once a week. I'll bet you do. Once a week. Yeah, once a week. You know, and that's a thing. That nail grinder for a dog, I don't know how they sit still for that. Well, you tie their neck around the thing so they stay on the table.
14:57Jesus, what? What are you doing? You're a monster. And then Ricky gets up. No, I'm kidding. oh great here come the letters from PETA here we fucking go way to go Sean no cause he's a golden door so you have to brush him out every week and all this stuff you can wash him he gets real dirty anyway who cares when's the last time you washed your own dog Sean when he was a puppy yeah years ago absolutely years ago when's the last time you walked your own dog every almost every day liar I swear to you I love taking him on a walk you actually do live in an area with sidewalks and trees and front yards I would walk dogs I'd have a dog walking service.
15:33Sorry, Claire. They'll be right with you. Yeah, what about dogs there in the city? You have a dog there in the city? I had a dog. I had a schnoodle for about 16 years. His name was Ouija, but he passed. Oh, great name. And then we adopted a cat when we were filming a season of Homeland in Morocco, Harold Hamza. And he was a bit of a nightmare. He pissed on everything. Those Moroccan cats. Is he still with us or no? You know what? After a really rough five years of dealing with this, like, urine-soaked sofa furniture, I had to re-home him, which was very stressful. I've done that. And not obvious.
16:21But found this saint in Indiana, this woman who has a cat sanctuary. And then three months into that arrangement, which was actually ideal, We got, you know, weekly photos and reports and things. He died. Oh, stress. Like there was some clot. I don't know. I think he was fine. The whole thing was wild. From the rough streets of Casablanca to a pretty cushy situation in Indiana. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and then, so when Ouija died, we had Harold Hamza, and then we adopted another cat. Mary, as in like Christmas, our son Rowan named her that when he was like three in the middle of the summer. It was very confusing.
17:12And we said, why did you, why Mary? Everybody thinks it's Mary, it's not. He said, I just thought it was a good name for a cat. That's a great reason. Yeah. Anyway. Wait, Claire, how do you and Jay, how do you guys know each other? Did you work together? We don't, really. I mean, we've had a conversation, maybe. Right. It is sort of surprising because we've both been banging around in this thing since we were kids. I know, it's a little weird. You guys had a conversation where? What was the location, Jason? We'll be right with you. Jason, I'm not asking you. I'm asking Claire. Because I want to get the truth.
17:50I think we like had a conversation on the phone and I don't even really know why, but we did. Were you surprised at how short he was? Sorry, go ahead. No, do you know what? I know how long ago it was because I think it was like the same day that my parents delivered my schnoodle to me. They went and picked him up in Kentucky. They live in L.A. I live in New York. And I was filming in L.A., and they delivered this tiny little animal to me in my hotel room in L.A., and I had just talked to you for, you know, curious reasons. It was a nice conversation. Where did you grow up? I grew up in New York.
18:31Oh, you did? I grew up in Soho, yeah. Oh, in the city. In the city. Ergo the name of your company, yes? Is that the address of the place you grew up in, Crosby? Crosby. Well, actually, okay, yes. I grew up on Crosby Street. My parents were artists and they moved to Soho, you know, in the late 60s. And when it, you know, because there were all these factory buildings that were closing down. And you actually had to legally prove that you were an artist to live there because there was this concerted effort to, you know, transform. And they're trying to retroactively now charge all these finance bros that have gone in there and bought these artist lofts for.
19:17Yeah. Anyway, like you now have to prove that you're an artist to maintain this sweet deal on those places. Oh, I didn't know that. Yeah, they're trying to get it through. I don't think it'll happen. Wow, that's fascinating. Wait. But then they went on to do different things. And my dad was a, he had been a photographer. We still had a darkroom in our loft my entire childhood, a vestige from his time as a photographer. But he was a contractor and had a company called Overall Construction. And now my production company name is Overall Production. Oh, that's great. Yeah. And my mom ran a toddler school in our loft called Crosby Kids.
19:59Wow. So that was weird. Yeah. Yeah, so, and then I, like, was, then I started acting and got jobs, which was very surprising. Yeah, how'd that start? What was the impetus for that? I always knew I wanted to act, and I danced as a kid. And occasionally, dance companies would come to my class looking for young talent, and I would get hired. and I started, you know, performing every so often in these black box theaters on the Lower East Side to 12 people. Yeah. And loved it. And then started taking acting classes at Lee Strasburg. Sure. Which is like down the street from me now, which is very funny.
20:46And how old were you? Same, same. I did the same. Oh, really? I was 10. But it was like on a Saturday and most kids were there because there, you know, it was either that or like tennis class. Right, right. was just so invested in the experience, you know, like such an earnest Nelly about it. Yeah. And then there was a performing arts junior high school called PPAS, Professional Performing Arts School. It was its first year of its existence, and I went. And then I met kids there who were professional performing people and, you know, discovered what a headshot was and what an agent was and how to, you know, get them.
21:27And actually that dark room came in handy because the woman who was renting it out kind of swapped rent money for headshots. So she took my headshots. And then I had done some student films when I was a kid. And so I had like something to show an agent. And, you know, my first job was law and order. Of course. Like New York. Yeah, that's cool. And how soon after that did you get what I'm a huge fan of? And I'm sorry you get asked all the time about it. My so-called life. which I used to watch all the time. Oh, that's so nice to hear. Yeah, I loved it. I loved it. Yeah, I was 13 when I did the pilot.
22:04Wow. And then it did not get picked up. And I, yeah, I'd gone to public school my whole life but then made a chunk of change and could afford to send myself to private school. So I went to this fancy school called Dalton. Sure. And then halfway through my freshman year, they actually did pick up the show and I went to make the rest of it in L.A. and stayed there for four years. My parents followed me. My brother is seven years older, so he was already at college at this point. So we were kind of available to have this adventure. And so were you working in correspondence with Dalton or did you enroll in a different school in L.A.?
22:43Yeah, for that first year. And then eventually I went to L 'Elyse Francais in L.A. Oh, yeah, in Culver City? But it was barely there, yes. On motor? Yeah. You betcha. Yeah, yeah. I tried to get in there. They wouldn't have me. But yeah, I like maybe went five days a year, but I was mostly like tutored from that point on sets. We'll be right back.
23:08And now back to the show. I remember My So-Cole Life, it had, it kind of had that, it was critically acclaimed and so it was kind of like sputtered a little bit. It lived in this weird place where everybody loved it, but the network didn't know what to do. Yeah, I mean, it didn't. Am I right about that? Nobody really watched it while it was on. And we didn't even complete a full season. We didn't make it to the 22, you know, mark. Yeah. We got canceled at 19 episodes. But then it had a pretty, you know, the people who did watch were devoted and passionate and they made a ruckus. and then it got bought by other, it aired.
23:56Like it was on MTV. MTV bought it. It was on MTV. That's where I saw it. And then it found its audience kind of after the fact. Tom Preston picked it up. Now, am I right that your mom was your manager during this period? Yeah, kind of like by default. I mean, she was, you know, I was a kid and she was with me all the time. and yeah. When did I ask only because my parents were my manager as well and it was complicated. Did you disengage from that before it became too? Yeah, it was, you know, it made sense for a period of time and then it made more sense to just be mom and daughter. Right. Yeah, it wasn't uncommon.
24:43Most kids, their parents, yeah. Yeah, but then once they start, you know, you're paying them a percentage, and then that's kind of weird. It changes your relationship with your parents a lot. I mean, by definition. You're the employer. Yeah. Yeah, that's super complicated. Hey, grab me a coffee real quick. But I was very, I mean, we were all just so stunned by this. You know, nobody anticipated this at all. We were just like totally naive. and you know then they weirdly we moved to LA the day after those Northridge that Northridge earthquake 1996 94 94 94 sorry and it was a wild way to parachute into our new reality there because everybody was just ashen and traumatized that must have been horrified like two days before you're set to leave your bags are packed you see on the news oh the place we're going just got Yeah, yeah.
25:39And then it was a week of aftershocks. So we landed. It was like, you know. Oh, my God. And it was like a very apt metaphor for what we were feeling already, you know. Yeah. But, yeah. So, but then my parents really loved it. My mom went to grad school in her 50s. They came back to their art. So she went to a school called Otis. Oh, yeah. And my dad built like his and her studios in their backyard. And they, you know, full circle. You just jarred my memory because my father was, my dad was also a photographer. And he used to take photos of all of us as kids all the time and blow the pictures up and put them up on the wall.
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26:24And put them up on the wall. What, are you got a zoom lens? What's going on? And would he put those photos just above the sunshade in the car so he could just look at them when he's going down the highway? You guys. Oh. Wait, did he process his own photos, Sean? Yeah, so he had a darkroom in the basement. Sure he did. And he would develop them there. And then, you know, he would put them on the wall of the house. And it was really cool but weird for them. So did your dad do your photos and your headshots and all that? No, no, he didn't. No? But, no, I mean, he didn't really take many photos of people.
27:02He likes a landscape. Oh, I see, I see, I see. I mean, he does take photos of us, of course, all the time, but that's not, yeah. People don't tend to populate his images. So with, was your mom, your mom was a sculptor? Is that? No. My mom does, yeah, she was a textile designer initially. And now she does, she has a lot of etchings. She does do a lot of sculpture and she paints. But both being artists, were you just sort of kind of, obviously it's in your blood, But did you kind of think from a very, very early age that arts is going to be your path? Because I think your brother's a lawyer. Is that right?
27:38Yeah. Yeah. So like where, how was it? Was it kind of predetermined or no or no? Well, it was a pretty creative environment. That's for sure. Yeah. I mean, they had a lot of art materials everywhere. It was fun. We had, also we had, even before the baby school, we had a trapeze and a trampoline and a swing. Wow. These dirty hippies. Yeah, it was like that. Wow. And all of our furniture was found off of the street, and my dad collected these old signs. So it was funky. And they had fun tools. They had a light box. I was at a very unfair advantage with my school projects. Right, right. And your brother just said, screw it to all of that.
28:29I'm going into law. Yeah. I mean, he's creative. He was very athletic. He was, I don't know. Yeah. It was. But then I did that show. I did that show Finding Your Roots. Yeah. Uh-oh. What'd you find out? Well, many things. But my dad's mom, Claire, who I'm named after, she died when he was nine. So there was very, very little information about her. I knew nothing about her. And people, of course, ask, you know, are there any people in the performing arts in your family? No, a lot of visual artists, a lot of academics, but not, you know. But it turns out she went to Northwestern. It must have been in, like, the 40s.
29:12Northwestern in Chicago? Yeah. Cool it. Oh, wow. And got her. Easy shot. And, like, studied theater and wrote her master's in the role of dance and Shakespearean drama and had directed plays and acted in them, and I had no clue. How about that? So it was in your DNA a little bit. Yeah, I was very moved by that. Did she like her time in Illinois? Yeah, I have no idea. I don't know anything beyond that. But, yeah. Anyway, I also had my ninth great-grandmother was hanged in Salem for being a witch. Wow. What are you talking about? That's a big reveal. Is that true? Yes. Wait, your great-grandmother?
29:59You found this on the show? Yes. Well, how did they find that out? What are we doing? Through, like, legal documents. Through other witches. Through other witches, yeah. You're a crystal ball, you idiot.
30:14Wait, hung for being a witch? Hanged, hanged, hanged. Hanged, I know, I learned that word. I didn't know it before this. So wait, so did she practice witchcraft and all that? No. No, no. Actually, she was the oldest woman to be hanged. She was 72. She was a widow. And I think she was just, like, low-hanging fruit. Like, she was just an easy scapegoat. Yeah, how about that one, crossing the road? Yeah, yeah. I think maybe. I mean, who knows? But, yeah, like, there are reports because she went to court and everything. But people accused her of, what was it, of cursing their cows. And then the cows would rear on their hind legs and she would penetrate people's dreams.
31:02She didn't do it on that, I can tell you. What year is this, I wonder? A long time ago. I don't know. Would it be the 1500s, 1600s, 1700s? Maybe 1700s. No, it's after 18, probably early. The 1900s in Salem. Yeah. North Carolina. No. No. Salem, Massachusetts. There's a few different Salem's. Okay. All right. Yeah. I'm sure. Between 1692 and May 1693. Oh, you got a Google machine? Yep. Is that right? I have access to Google. That's what it says. Wow. Okay. Well, I was way off. More than 200 people were accused, it claims. That's it? Wow. The Salem witch trials. 30 people were found guilty. 30 were found guilty, 19 of whom were executed by hanging.
31:49Yeah. Wow. And your ancestor was one of them. Yeah. For cursing cows. Yeah, yeah. And dream penetration.
32:00She had it coming. Hey, guys, let's go around the corner. Everybody, your dream penetration. Go ahead. That sounds so gross. Accent on the second word, yeah. Oh, Jesus. So marching through the canon of your career here, let's go to 96. Let's go to Romeo and Juliet. Oh, my gosh. Working with Baz Luhrmann was like, what was that set like? I remember when that film came out, I was like, oh, my God, like the production design and like this big swing on this classic. And was it nerve-wracking or exciting to be on something that was taking such a big swing and it was such a big project? Yeah, all of the above.
32:46It was a total dream. I loved it. It was intense. We filmed in Mexico City. And I haven't been since. I loved it. But it's like an unruly, you know, vibrating, brilliant place. place. And yeah, it was, the whole thing felt very charged and alive and scary and fun. And Baz was wonderful. And he was very clear about making this accessible and exciting for everybody the way Shakespeare, you know, also intended his work to be every once upon a time. Had you done some Shakespeare prior to that? And have you done after? um no I haven't and I hadn't there was like a month where I read everything in iambic pentameter you know like the cereal boxes but yeah it was no it was amazing so you did so then I hear you saying you did some research there for at least a month I think I read a book on iambic pentameter right well there's There's my question.
34:00How diligent are you? What kind of actor are you? Are you the one that does a massive amount of research and you've got tons of notes in your script? I'm a little nerdy about it. Not every role asks that of you. I don't do it for the sake of it. I do it if I actually need to learn something. Right now I'm about to play a pediatric neurosurgeon and so I'm reading some books on neurosurgery. I sat in on a brain surgery. No way. No way. I want to know all about that. I wouldn't be able to do that. It was wild. Did you pass out? No, but the— I asked that because I heard about somebody recently who sat in on one of those.
34:40I think it happens a lot. Yeah. I think it happens a lot. And the surgeon's assistant did say, like, you may think you're a badass, but if you have the thought, oh, I might faint, you're fainting, and we can't have that happen, so please let me know. Wow, the second you feel it. Stay seated. Yeah. And I don't know. There was like a half an hour where I was doing some conscious breathing. Wait a minute. So you're standing there while the brain is open and they're working on the brain. Yeah, right there. What was the moment that started to get you a little bit, I might be starting to pass out here?
35:11Was it lifting of the scalp? When the residents were prepping the head for the actual surgeon to come and do his work. But yeah, so they cut the scalp and they peel it back and they bore four holes into the skull. and then there's like I think it's called the derma there's a thin layer of skin that they have to suture, they suture the corners and then they hoik it up like a tent and then you have the brain ready but what about the part where they take like a bone saw and they cut the piece of the scalp out so they do the four holes and then they cut with a saw and then they lift it up and the brain's exposed Yes.
35:55Oh, my God. Yes. Wow. Oh, my God. I really understood in a different way that we are vehicles. Yes. We are cars. Yeah. And we are not our bodies. Right. We experience ourselves and the world through our bodies. It just something carries your brain around. That was a profound thing. Yeah. I bet. To really know that on a different level. So did the person that you watched, was it a success and all that? Yeah, she had a brain tumor, and then she didn't. But it was a lot of tumor. It took a long time to suction that out. But isn't it wild, like the kind of access we have? It was very embarrassing because they have something called a timeout where everybody in the room has to announce themselves and say why they're there.
36:43What? Really, just to make sure everybody's cognizant. I'm Claire, I'll be playing. Yeah, I'll be playing you in a month. Wait a second. In the operating room, there's a let's go around and introduce ourselves. Just so everybody's accountable. They don't already know each other, this team? They do. I think it's just a ritualistic thing just to kind of get everybody focused. And then they announce what the procedure is going to be. And so everybody knows they're in the right room. Yeah, it's fast. You've heard all those stories. It's rapid fire. It's not a big deal. It's just, you know, so everybody.
37:15You've heard all those stories about like they took out the wrong kidney or they took out something wrong. It's because that's why they announce everything. So this is why we're here. This is what we're doing. This is who I am. This is what we're, yeah. Yeah. I mean, the people that do this, that surgeon. I know. And I have to say, like, our sets are so much more protected. Look, I was vetted. I had a badge and everything, but I wasn't anybody. But it felt relatively porous. Like, you know, on a set, the feeling is so, can be so serious. Like, we are actually saving. It was much more serious than it was in the old.
37:50Claire, I went to an event recently, and it was a very sort of Hollywood event, and they had dogs looking into the cars and stuff, and I'm like, motherfucker, nobody's coming for our stars. Right. Right. Right, it's so true. Everybody's over it, yeah. I was very humbled by it, but yeah. So in those kind of cases, I will do, yeah, like for Homeland, I had to figure out how to be a spy and got to go to Langley and meet those guys and also had to figure out what it was to be bipolar. That was fascinating. When I played Temple, I had to learn about autism. So, yes, in some cases, you have to do some homework.
38:27What about a nice little sitcom for you? You know? Yeah. Nice little multicam. And, you know, it's just... This is JB's dream, by the way. Sorry, Claire. He's just walking through his dream. JB, what time do you roll into your parking spot on the sitcom? 10 a.m., right? Don't you... I mean, you have played, taken on voluntarily, a lot of very heavy parts. and you do them incredibly well, does it ever get exhausting to be believably in a space of weightiness 12 hours a day for years on end? It's hard when you're first figuring it out. Right. You know, and once you are sort of oriented within the character and you've kind of made sense of her, it gets a little easier.
39:13It was very cool on Homeland to play somebody for so very long You know, like you had kind of played your backstory. You lived your backstory. Right. And you know the actors that you're working with so very well. You know, like it was just, that was amazing to have that fluency and that juice, you know. Yeah, finding the momentum is always the toughest part. but I have to say if the writing is good it holds you it carries you doing a technically easy scene but with bad writing is so much harder than doing an exacting scene that is really well constructed and with a team that can actually support you you guys were together for how long on that show?
40:09eight years? I think it was like we did eight seasons but it was about a decade in total. And you and the great Damien Lewis too, right? I love that guy. Yeah. I don't know, I'm just a fan. And what about the travel on that? Did that, was that? That was a lot. Was it nice to visit those corners of the world the way that I'm imagining you were traveled and looked after? It was, it was nice. But I was also, you know, I'd like just gotten married when we started the show. So I had Cyrus in my second season, and then I had Rowan, I guess, you know, a few seasons late. I guess I had Rowan in our penultimate season.
40:52So, like, making a family while globetrotting in that way was challenging. Yeah. And Cyrus, you know, grew up all over the place. Like, he was a toddler in Cape Town. He went to kindergarten in Berlin. Wow. School in Casablanca and can't eat couscous to this day because he had it every day. You know, like when he was a little guy in a playground here in the city, you know, come up to people, love their kids and say, you know, my name is Cyrus. I speak English. You know, it was just not a given that they did. What is, I had a mom who was a flight attendant for Pan Am. And so we did a bunch of traveling.
41:36And as a consequence, I don't like to travel because I did it at an age where it was just inconvenient because I was so small and I missed my friends. What is his relationship with travel nowadays? Well, now, well, then Homeland ended and it was very like careful what you wish for because, of course, I was desperate to just be anchored at home. And then I never got to leave the – like immediately wrapped and then we were, you know, in the COVID era. Oh, right. That was a trip. And now we're working really hard to figure out how to remain employed and local. Yeah. It used to be like script, director, actor, and now it's location, location, location.
42:22That's how you decide what you do? Kind of. I mean, I'm sort of making a joke, but basically for the next 10 years, we just have to, you know, find jobs in the neighborhood. What about going back to some of your theater stuff, doing that? I mean, I know it doesn't pay the bills as well, but I imagine you guys are all right. Yeah. I mean, I would definitely be open to that. But, yeah, lately it's been limited series in Westchester. I'm a little two-hander with the Tony Award-winning Sean Hayes. Yeah, I love this. I love this casting. Jason, keep going. What is it? Yeah, it's a two-hander, you and Sean Hayes.
43:01Okay. I'd do it. This is a new take on The Odd Couple. I love it so much. We're going to switch roles every four weeks. We'll be right back.
43:16And now, back to the show. But you know what? Jason's right. You would be good at comedy. I saw you in Portlandia because I was a huge fan of that show. You played like— Oh, that's right. I forgot I did that. Yeah. You played like an acting coach or an acting teacher or something. I did. I played a terrible acting coach. Yeah, I remember that. A wildly pretentious acting coach. That was really funny. Oh, that's so sweet. What about that Fred Armisen? Fred Armisen. He's great. This guy's royalty. Yeah, Fred Armisen. He's just put out an album, I hear, of sound effects. Amazing. That sounds about right.
43:51Sounds about right. Yes, check and check. That's funny. I didn't know that. I love Freddie. All right, so we're leaving Baz Luhrmann and we're moving under Francis Ford Coppola with the Rainmaker. Wow. Let's talk about, did we? Well, can I just say something about Romeo and Juliet before we get off of it? So you do that and it has such a huge impact. And by the way, lasting impact, that film, it must have been a bit of a life changer. I mean, you had already sort of made a lot of waves with my so-called life in that area. And then you do this and Romeo and Juliet just must have changed everything.
44:26You're much more visible. You must have felt that like your life. Yeah, I did feel it. And I have to say, I didn't quite know what to do with all of that. I was a little thrown by it. Were you? Yeah, yeah. What was the big jarring thing? Was it the press? Was it people stopping on the street? It was kind of the attention. It was a different kind of attention. Yeah. And I just, you know, didn't know how to focus, like how to work with it or where to direct it. I was a tiny human still. Right, and then it's like, oh, look who's getting coffee at the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf type stuff, right? Yeah, I just thought, oh, God, like, I don't know.
45:12It made me anxious. You're sharing yourself with a whole world. Yeah. Yeah, and I thought I was supposed to know how to be like a movie star and really didn't. And now I realize, oh, don't worry about it. It's not really a thing. What did you do about that? I think I read that you're a friend of therapy like all of us. Sure. Was that helpful? Yes. Yeah. Yes. I've been in therapy since I was six. I'm a New Yorker. Right, right. And it's a great resource. If you have a great therapist, it can be very dangerous. Have you been with the same therapist the whole time? It can be dangerous if it's not.
45:50Since I was about 18, yeah. No way. Oh, wow. That's great. I'm going right after this, actually. I go in and out. Like, I take very substantial breaks, but I'm back in now, and I'm glad of it. Have you ever lied to this therapist? Maybe by omission. Yeah. I don't think I've ever explicitly lied. Oh, I just forgot to mention that. But, yeah, there's sometimes a... Claire, I asked Sean once. Sean, remember I asked you if I ever came up in your therapy? Yeah, everybody does. Everybody in your whole life does. How do I do, Sean? Yeah, well, it's private. It's private. It's confidential. It's private, dude.
46:25Yeah, what are you doing? I'll call your therapist. You're in touch with his therapist. I owe him a call. Hi, Nikki, Jason. Did I guess right? Is it a man or a woman? Me? It's a woman. All right. Yeah, yeah. Nikki, huh? Nikki Glaser. Nikki Glaser, yeah. Unbelievable. Yeah, we got it all sorted out. I think she'd be an amazing therapist. She would be. I bet she would. She would be. All right, let's do Francis Ford Coppola. Then I want to get to Stephen Daldry. Okay. You know, I do like these directors. I mean, you've been in some great, great movies. You've worked with so many great actors and directors.
46:59I mean, golly. What do you think is the most impactful thing you've absorbed, learned from any of these actors? You don't even need to say which one it is. What do you think has been— Yeah, what changed your life and how it applies either to you in life or professionally? Okay, okay. Here's the story. So my first audition ever, I was 12. It was, again, in some theater, not like Lower East Side kind of situation. Sure. And I don't know what's happening. And there's a guy having his audition. I can only hear him. But he's like, it sounds like an exorcism is happening. It's like he's thrashing about, you know.
47:46And he comes in and he's like dripping with sweat and he's just like vibrating this manic energy. and it was Philip Seymour Hoffman. But I was like, holy shit, what's supposed to happen in there? What am I following? Like, what am I walking into? What do they expect of me? I left the reading for the kid that same day. Yeah. But, yeah, so I don't know. I mean, I didn't know how, I mean, I sort of knew how extraordinary these people were when I first started, but not like I do now. I don't know how, you know, wildly rare and absurd it is to get to collaborate with people of that genius. Have you noticed that, you know, like from, let's say, Meryl Streep to Leonardo DiCaprio, like is there, there are so many different ways to go about doing what it is that we do.
48:54Some, as we were talking about earlier, some are very, very specific and surgical about it and very prep oriented. And others just sort of just kind of wing it and keep it all natural. And the performances are equally great. Has that been a bit of an eye opener for you? Okay, so the thing I remember about Francis is that he, you know, he kind of asked a lot of you, but it was all in a playful spirit. So he gave everybody the homework assignment of writing, you know, six pages of backstory for their character. You know, okay. And I remember there was a scene where I was meant to be very distressed and crying.
49:36and I sat on the chair and it was actually like a block of ice. And that, he thought, might help elicit some feeling. He had a teamster scream at me. And I kind of was like, okay, I didn't need it. How old were you? I was 17, I guess. But actually I was very touched that he just cared that much, like that he was invested that he felt present with me that he was committed to creating something special with me like that was the thing that actually got to the feeling was that I don't know that I and I remember on that set like it was something kind of magical that happened and ineffable like suddenly you landed on that set and you were held by it like you were You felt grounded in whatever reality you were meant to be in.
50:38In the place. And that was his doing, but I don't know how he did it exactly. And the same is true of Baz, a totally different approach. Yeah. He did not have Teamsters yell at me. And actually, it was almost surgical, the way in which he directed. I mean, he knew exactly. It was very prescriptive. Yeah. But. Was it result-oriented? Um, no. Like, he just was very, it's so detail-oriented, you know, and he builds the world and it's really ornate and it's hyper-considered and stylized. But he wants a free-feeling performance from his actors. And that's why it's often exciting, the work. Right, right, right.
51:22Because it's that contrast. Right. So it creates a sort of a, yeah. But yeah, I mean, and I have to say there are a lot of directors too, not these guys. These guys are brilliant. But I think I'm always surprised by the number of directors that are actually really terrified of conflict and visceral feeling. They would rather you not, you know, and they don't even know that they're guiding you away. They want you to make choices that's going to take you further from actual expressive feeling, you know? Oh, interest is too real. And you're like, but why are you doing this? Well, because you want to be at a remove from it.
52:06Right. So there are those directors too. It's too good. Too real. Sean, you used to pay a guy to yell at you, right? Yeah. You put an ad in Craigslist or something? I still do, yeah. I still do. You sit yourself on a block of ice too. Yeah, yeah. But I think even, you know, the privilege of working with people like Meryl and Leah, like, is, yeah, they're insanely gifted and they're, you know, and capable. But they're also, you know, figuring it out. Yeah. You know, like, nobody gets to just, like, you never get to a point where you're actually confident. I mean, you're never phoning it in, like, ever.
52:48Yeah, I know that you're producing a lot of the stuff that you do as well now. And what about, did you ever get behind the camera on Homeland? No, no. Any desire? No, not really. I mean, I kind of, if I had the time, I would like to shadow a director just so that I could learn more about the parts of the process that we don't have access to because I'm curious. Right. But not with the intent of really doing it myself. I am enjoying producing. Yeah. I like being part of those consequential conversations about what it's going to be in its entirety. Right. But yeah, directing seems really hard. Yeah.
53:32That's a good way to put it. Yeah, yeah. So Claire, aside from, I love what you said now, it used to be script director, now it's location, location, location. I love that. That's so interesting and true and I get it. But how does that, So that factors in with your days consist of momming and parenting and being home with the kids, yeah? And making sure everything's taken care of with your husband? When you're not working, right? When you're not working. It's like one or the other. Yeah, you try to just bank the hours. Yeah, so do you get any time during the day when you're not working to do something for you?
54:06Yes, for sure. Besides many petty? I like the yoga. Yeah? I like a little hot yoga. Uh-huh. Yeah, I have like lunch with my friends. Good, good, good, good. Sure. Book club. Oh, really? Yeah. Wait, so you go to yoga and then you read a book. I mean, goddamn. I wish I was like that. It sounds like, doesn't Giamatti, didn't Paul say that that's how his day is kind of like that? Yeah, I think so. Yeah. Do you live with Paul Giamatti? Yes. Hot yoga, it just sounds so masochistic. No, you can't do it. Well, first of all, yoga itself, you're sweating because you're stretching. It's just sort of like being trapped in a hot car, you know, torturous.
54:50But then to actually, well, we're going to go ahead and we're going to preheat the car. It just seems like, what the fuck? Jason, it's your nightmare. It's sweaty and nearly hot car. And the smell of the unwashed and then getting sweatier. And then guess what? And then you got to walk across the floor when you're done. Yeah, you do. To get to your shoes outside. And you're splashing through the fucking puddles of these. So you sound like you really know it. Oh, dude. You've done this. I knew it. And I was like, I'm good. That'll do it. It was just one class for you? It was maybe one and a half, something like that.
55:30Yeah. I just, if I'm going to sweat, I want to be active. I don't want to be holding a pose and feeling my pores open while I'm still. I want to get to this trailer for The Beast and Me rocked my world. I watched it three times in a row. I cannot wait to see the show, which is out now. November 13th, it launched. I'm assuming it's doing very, very well. But this looks like you got that pain in the ass, Matthew Rhys. But besides that, it seems like... What a handsome he is now. Oh, my God. I know. The shame of whales. Right? And talent-free. I don't get it. I know. Never got it with Reese. He's a little wooden, but, you know.
56:23I'm going to text him and tell him that. He has a charisma. It looks so, so good. I can't wait to see you two go at it. He's wonderful. Is it as good as it seems? It's got to be. Yeah, I think it's good. I think it's fun. Yeah, I had a blast making it. Where was that shot? That looks like it's in a tasting area. New Jersey. Who do you play in it? Because it's about a guy who's a murderer or something, right? She's a writer. I'm a writer. Yes, a pretty successful writer.
56:59And I won the Pulitzer, was kind of cresting in my success, And my wife and I and our small boy move to a pretty affluent suburb on Long Island. And then tragedy strikes. I'm driving the car with our six-year-old son in the back and we get hit by a drunk driver and my world is ended. The marriage dissolves, falls apart, and I am kind of creatively paralyzed. I can't produce any work and am rattling around in this gorgeous but neglected home, needs a lot of work, and suddenly I can't afford to pay for it. And suddenly this man moves in next door who is a pretty controversial figure, like a real estate scion and, you know, very famous, very moneyed and, you know.
58:06And this is Matthew. And a little problematic maybe. And he has a wife who had committed suicide and there's a lot of talk about his involvement with that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm all in. And he wants to create a jogging path in our little suburb. And I'm the cantankerous writer. I'm the only one who objects. And it's dumb, but he can't let it go. And he insists on taking me out to lunch to persuade me to, you know, agree to this thing. Yeah. And we get to, and then suddenly we were sort of repelled by each other, or I certainly am of him. but weirdly, like, kind of excited by each other also. A little dangerous.
58:52And I tell this story about my son, and the guy who's responsible was just under the limit when he finally had, you know, the breathalyzer done and, you know, was never held accountable and still lives in town. And he can see, I've kind of avoided feeling the difficult feelings and just fixated all of my grief on this man, and that man has committed suicide. and I don't know what to think of that. And I decide to write a book about him and really as a way to figure out if he did in fact kill this guy on my behalf. Oh, I love this. But also because he just wakes me up creatively. It's dark. This is dark and troubling.
59:32I think the most troubling thing about it is it's produced by Conan O 'Brien. That to me. Yeah. That he got his grubby little fingers in you because you're a massive talent. You want to talk about a talent-free, talk about a Josh's hat. Big red comes in. Son of a bitch. But it's kind of like a cat and mouse story, and it's a little Hitchcockian, and it's fun. Yeah, it looks great. What a great scene partner you got there with all those scenes of Matthew. Yeah. It's just so great. It's like the snake and the mongoose. Did you guys know each other beforehand, you and Matthew? No, no. But just a dreamboat.
1:00:05Right? The loveliest human. Charming, kind, and talented. So smart and so very good at what he does. with the acting business. Easy, Will. Easy. No, I like him. Nice guy. He's a great guy. Yeah. You're taking Will. Okay, back on. And you're back with Howard Gordon there, yeah? Yeah. Yeah, that was fun. Very, very cool. Who's Howard Gordon? He was one of the creators of Homeland. Oh, that's great. Yeah. And he did 24 and X-Files. Well, listen, we owe you three minutes and 40 seconds. We're over. Sorry. Sorry. You know, it's like I could violate the time even further. You're fantastic. Thank you for doing this.
1:00:50Oh, my pleasure. This was so fun. Thank you, guys. You know. Yeah. Everybody watch The Beast and Me. It's on Netflix. The great Claire Danes. Claire, we love you. Thank you very, very, very much. Love you guys, too. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. All right. Bye. I don't know how to do this. Slam it. That's the thing, right? Yeah. Slam it. My Claire Danes. Lovely, lovely woman. Been a part of our world for a very long time. That's 30 plus years. I know. My so-called life when it was on MTV was such a huge show for our age. I mean, it was like a game changer.
1:01:31It was like our Dawson's Creek. You know what I mean? Anybody? Seventh Heaven, Dawson's Creek. I got to say, I missed it. Oh, I loved it. Which is not too surprising. It came out... Harry Gums. Wasn't Jared Leto in that too? Yeah, there was a two of them, wasn't it? That's right. Isn't that crazy? What a couple. No, she's been... I just, you know, this is a hard business. It's even harder for women for some stupid, unfair reason. And the fact that she's stayed so relevant at such a high level, doing such great work. Yeah, since she was a kid. in stuff that ain't easy. It's really, really admirable.
1:02:12She's had an incredible career thus far and seems not anywhere near done. Yeah, she's a big deal. She's one of the greats. She's just got a big life in general. She's got three kids and she's doing so much. We didn't even get into her charity work that she and her mom do for the women of Afghanistan too, which is pretty cool. But what a delight. What a delight. You know, I mean, you know, guys, it's not that hard. If you guys just concentrated a little bit more, you could be charismatic. You could be warm. You could be, you know, people that people want to talk to and are charmed by after you're done speaking to them.
1:02:47There's no way. No, I think you could do it. Of course you could do it. Yes, you could. I want you to listen to this interview back and just focus on her and just focus on just her magnetism, okay? How she's just, she's engaging and she listens. How am I ever going to do it? How am I ever going to do it? She's just trying to think of a body. I'm just trying to stall for you, Sean. I'm reading the bye no shot girl the less you know what I'm doing I'm just I'm hanging I'm hanging bye yes Fred bye about what coming up with a bye coming up with a bye I'll allow it bye smart less
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It’s our start-gift: Claire Danes. Cursed cows, Moroccan cats, a Kentucky Schnoodle, and “very cute dirt.” It’s another episode of ‘How To Remain Employed and Local,’ also known (in some circles) as SmartLess.
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