"Emma Thompson"

12:16So what do you do to beat the heat? You just lie face down on the pavement panting. Stay still. Hoping that some dog will come and whittle on you and cool you down. I mean, we don't have methods. But here's the thing.

12:29Sean Hayes:You just kind of, you just take it. We don't need to always be in our perfect comfort zones at all times. No. That's the whole point of life. There are things that happen. There are days where you're hot and you deal with it. There are days that are cold. But it is true that in this country, I'm Canadian, by the way, Emma, so I'm with you. I think you're Canadian, Will, darling. But I think you guys are used to extreme temperatures and we live in a temperate zone. Yes. And we're really not used to it. And now because of climate change, look at my face. I mean, I'm the same color as one of the stripes in my shirt.

12:59It's tragic. But, you know, it's like we're just not used to it. And it's quite, it's really weird, actually.

13:08Will Arnett:It's so hot. Because it's happening. How was it last summer? Last summer it was super hot there too, right? Europe had a huge heat. Yes, super hot. Super hot. And I was traveling on the tube. Were you there? I was there last summer. It was so hot.

13:20Sean Hayes:He was doing his play. Oh, man. It was so hot. And, like to everybody's point, there's no air conditioning. We were staying in a place that had air conditioning, and we were rehearsing in a place that was like a greenhouse with no air. And what about the theater, Sean? Did the theater have air conditioning? No air conditioning in the theater.

13:38Will Arnett:No. What? No, there's no air conditioning in our theaters. Come on. Because we've never needed it before, and we haven't adapted yet to climate change.

13:46Sean Hayes:I want to, Emma, you're talking about taking the tube. What's your experience like when you take the tube? Are you, as in London, are you approached constantly and mobbed by people asking you questions? No, no. No, not at all. Nobody takes any notice on the tube. They're all looking at their phones.

14:05Will Arnett:But my guess is that when they do recognize you, it's something very charming and respectful and they say which movie that they love. and stuff like she's a respected actor as opposed to like a celebrity. Like you see a celebrity out, it's like a giraffe has escaped the zoo and you got to get a picture of it on your phone. Yes, it's a different thing. Yeah, yeah. You're right. I'm very lucky, I think, because it's the same in Europe. People have a relationship with, I don't know what it's like for you guys, but you know, you must have this, Jason, that people have a relationship with a particular role that you might have played or maybe a couple.

14:42and we've done lots and lots of different things. So I think if, for instance, you're sort of an action hero, I can imagine that for somebody like, I don't know, Schwarzenegger or Stallone or Bruce Willis, then there's a very specific response every single time. But for me, I can pass, not necessarily unnoticed, but certainly it's never been an issue, actually.

15:10Will Arnett:What's your least favorite kind of interaction with a fan? Like when you're with your family or, I mean, because it's like there's some, I always get embarrassed if it ever causes like a scene. In other words, grabs the attention of others that might not otherwise know who I am or notice, you know, like it's great when it's just sort of mellow and quiet. and passing, right? Yes, I mean, it's lovely and people will just pass you and still keep walking.

15:47Sean Hayes:Yeah. They go, love your work, bye. Yeah. It's lovely. But when you're sort of buying sausages with your daughter, you don't really want them to come up and go, can I have a selfie? Selfies are interesting, aren't they? How do you guys feel about those? Right. How do you feel about the, do you feel that they're intrusive at all? What do you think?

16:10Will Arnett:Well, no, but what I have noticed is that in the old days, it used to be autographs, and if you didn't have a piece of paper or a pen, then it was just, hey, nice to meet you and like your work. And it was a nice, but now everybody's got a phone. So even if you don't want an autograph, right, slash picture, you still sort of feel obligated, well, I better take this, you know. And so people kind of line up a little bit. And anyway, I don't mean to sound like I'm complaining. Do you ever say no? No, never. Never. And I've been with people. I don't either. I mean, never is probably, I'm sure I have, but I don't.

16:45Sean Hayes:I do when I'm with the kids sometimes, when I'm with, if I'm with the kids or with the little kids. And if it's an adult asking, I'll say no. I've never said no to a kid.

16:55Will Arnett:I have said that.

16:56Sean Hayes:I have said that. Yeah, but I say sometimes. I'm the same, Will. I wouldn't ever say no to a child, but sometimes if I'm with the family, I'll say, would you mind awfully? I just, I'm with my family. And what's so interesting to me is that every time I have said no, and it's quite rare, people have taken it so well because they seem completely to understand. So in a way, I feel like they know what they're asking for, that what they're asking for is a little bit kind of, it's a lot to take a photograph with somebody.

17:29Will Arnett:I have some famous friends that they say no all the time. They never say yes, and it makes me so uncomfortable. I just feel like they're so nice. Because it's such an easy give in a way. It's an easy give. Have you ever gotten, hey, can I get a picture really quick? And then they hand you the camera? Because that's happened to me. They want you to take a picture of them with their friends. I've also many times got, oh my God, you're... And then they say the name of a completely different actress. So I have the choice. I either say, yes, I am so-and-so. I would love to give you a photograph. or I say I'm 20 years younger or I say, oh, I'm 20 years older or I say, no, she's dead actually.

18:14But then I just kind of move gently on through.

18:20Sean Hayes:You know what's funny? The other day I was sitting in a restaurant and I had two interactions in a row back to back. First of all, I had a woman come over and say, and I was sitting with my sister and my brother-in-law and our buddy Eli, Canadian Eli. And he said, this woman said, so sorry to bother you and I know that you're eating and then proceeded to sit down on the bench next to me and begin a conversation at which point I was like well you're not that bothered did you grab a fry? then she left and then this other woman came over and she said my friend is a fan but I'm sorry what's your name and Eli goes Jason Bateman she said thank you so much she walked away JB I forgot to tell you that it was so good It was so good.

19:03I had a really wonderful one. I was in Harry's Bar in Venice, which is, you know, the original Harry's Bar, and it was very nice. It was years and years ago. And a woman came up. She was in the other room, and she kept on peeling off these massive smiles and grins at me and waving. And I thought, okay, so she must know my work. That seems fair enough. I'm in Venice. It's the festival, blah. Anyway, she came over as she was leaving and said, I'm so happy to see you in here. I said, oh, thank you. thinking, why? And then she said, you know, I still wear those shoes. I wear them all the time. I love them.

19:38You were so right. I was wrong and you were right. I'm thinking, shoes. And then she said, you remember, I'm staring at her thinking, I can't work this one out. I haven't made a film about shoes. Have I? Anyway, she said, you remember the fifth floor in Barney's? so she thought that I'd sold her a pair of shoes in the shoe department at Barney's and she was thrilled to see me in Harry's Bar because clearly that meant I was doing quite well for myself. Do you know what I mean? That I was like in the same, I was in the same arena as a woman who buys shoes on the fifth floor at Barney's and that that gave her pleasure and she needed to convey that to me which was very kind I thought actually and I said I'm so glad they still fit.

20:27Will Arnett:Good for you. All right. Now, Emma, do you miss Barneys like I miss Barneys? I do.

20:33Sean Hayes:I miss Barneys a lot. Sorry, I really do. We were just talking about it the other day. I miss it so much. We're admitting to terrible shallowness, but I do. I really do. By the way, both New York and L.A. I miss them both. Yeah, both places. I love those places. I love them.

20:48Will Arnett:What happened to it? What happened? How would it go belly up? It's because people shop online now, right? Is that right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everything, yeah. It has to go to the shoe, right? Direct to the shoe department.

20:57Sean Hayes:Right. Oh, no, you just walk in that men's, you walk in the back way there on, like, what is that, like 59th Street, you can walk in that back door. I was talking about Los Angeles. And there was one downtown, too. Well, the original on 17th Street. Oh, guys, keep saying numbers. Say numbers, Mark.

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25:17Sean Hayes:And now back to the show. Wait, Emma. So listen, let's go back. Let's go back. Let's go back. I love. Let's start the interview. Let's start the interview. You guys, Emma's here. Emma, we're the worst interviewers of all time. I'm so sorry. And you're realizing that in real time. And your regret is evident.

25:40Sean Hayes:We, so I didn't know that you were, that you started, well, started, but you were in the acclaimed Footlight Sketch Group at Cambridge, which has seen a lot of great performers. So you have a history of sketch comedy, which is so amazing. I didn't know that. That's cool. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I did that for years. Would that be like the British Lampoon type of thing? Sort of, yeah. It's an equivalent to sort of the Lampoon in a way-ish. But it's more of a sketch. But you know, it's like SNL. SNL is basically what I would think of as Review. So back in the day, in the early part of the 20th century, Review was huge in our country.

26:19And it was basically a collection of sketches, songs, you know, just a kind of Review. Like a variety show. And a variety show, yes. And that's what we did. It's completely dead now. We don't have review anymore. But SNL is a form of review. It really is. It's sketches and songs and music. It's in England now. You know, it's little bites. And I started doing that, absolutely, with Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry. Yeah. Did it for years. In fact, I was going to be a comedian. and that was what I wanted to be because I admired Lily Tomlin. I never knew that. So greatly. She's great. Oh my gosh. And Jane Wagner, you know, the signs of intelligent life in the universe.

27:05All of her beautiful characters.

27:07Will Arnett:Yeah, incredible. I love that. That's what I wanted to do for a living. But you are still doing it because anytime there's a character that lends itself even slightly to comedy, you take that and you expand that and you're always freaking hilarious whenever you choose to be. Excellent timing. That beautiful British dryness. It's just, oh, it's so good. Well, I mean, I was going to ask you, these guys are going to make fun of me, but I'm a massive Harry Potter fan. Oh, no kidding. Show us the wand. I don't, I really do have a wand. But you as Professor Sybil, right? Professor Sybil? Sybil Jaloni, yeah.

27:44Yeah, that was... She said, fatigued. Speaking about, like, characters and, like, Lily Tomlin and Jane, and all those things that Lily Tomlin, when I saw that it was such a, and this is a compliment, such a big character in a world that has big characters with the, you guys, if you haven't seen her, she has like Coke bottle glasses, like literally this thick that make her eyeballs this big. And she's neurotic and she gets possessed. And it's such an incredible character. How did you trust that that was, that your choice to come in on the first day, we talk about this a lot on the show. With a huge swing.

28:21Which a huge swing was gonna be, How did you trust that? You know what I mean? You don't really do. And how did you come up with the character? Well, it's written in the books. That she has those glasses? In her own books, yeah. I think she's definitely nearly blind, can't see anything. And obviously deeply neurotic because she can see sometimes whether people are, you know, have the grim or not. So, I mean, honestly, in my quite long career, given the fact that I'm a good 10 years older than all of you guys. I have done many, many parts, and I've spent about 30 days on Harry Potter in my whole life.

29:02So it's kind of a strange thing to talk about because it's become such this huge phenomenon. And that's a lot of the time, that's what people are very sort of drawn to that. People stop, yeah. I mean, I've also seen Saving Mr. Banks like 20 times, and I've seen Sensibility and Remains of the Day. No, no, I wasn't getting at you. Yeah, yeah. It's just that... Just to make sure. You know what it's like, guys, when you decide to play someone. You just have to fling yourself into it, don't you, at first, and hope that your instincts are right.

29:38Sean Hayes:Yeah. Well, there's always that thing, because we talk about that idea, you know, I always say it's like when you first arrive and you're doing something, you've made a sort of a choice and you want to make sure that you're not at a different volume than everybody else, especially if you come in in the middle. That's what I'm saying. You know what I mean? And you're like... Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. Is this, you know... Am I in a different movie? Yeah, am I in a different movie? I came in, I did something this winter and I sort of came in, they'd been working for a while and I thought like, oh boy, and I had a real look going.

30:08Sean Hayes:And I thought... What was the look? What was the look? He was sort of like a retired rocker and he's sort of down on his luck. And Pedro Pascal comes in and he's my brother. And I just like, and I sort of worked on it with the director, with Tony Gilroy. And I thought, okay, this is it. But at the same time, I thought like, you know, that first moment, like, here we go, guys. And we're rolling. I'm like, boy, this better work. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's so scary.

30:34Will Arnett:But at least Tony had seen it. Yes, he had.

30:37Sean Hayes:We had talked about it, but still, we hadn't done it. Do you know what I mean? So you don't get to rehearse like us. It's quite rare. isn't it, in film that you get to rehearse? Yeah. Whereas in theater, it's all about rehearsal. Yeah. All about rehearsal. I love it. So sometimes I think it's a shame we don't get enough rehearsal in film. But, you know, again, it's a very mysterious business, filming. It is. You never know what's going to come out. And the camera's so odd, don't you think? Bit of a sort of witchy presence, I find. Well, you also have that thing when you finish something and you go, and people say, how was it?

31:13Sean Hayes:and you're like, I don't know. Yeah. You know, that's sort of in that period of sort of waiting. And JB, obviously, when you're in post and you're putting a film together, you're living with it. It's breathing with you all the time. And so, like, you have a sense of it. But everybody else kind of goes away.

31:30Will Arnett:Yeah, there really is always... Emma, you've done some directing, right? Yes? No? No. No? I've never directed. Have you not? No. Why did I feel like you had a couple of times? But there is just that... Why haven't you?

31:43Sean Hayes:Let's press her. Emma, can you check that you haven't? We'll wait. We'll wait. I've interfered a massive amount. That's not directing, though. That's just taking part in a slightly upsetting way. Especially with, I suppose, with the films with children in. I've spent a lot of time with the children because that's important. And the films I've made for young people, I always consider children to be the sacred audience. They're the people we need to make the best of our work for. And they don't lie. It's the first time that they see something. It needs to be so, so good. You've done so many things over so many genres.

32:28Sean Hayes:When you're speaking of like the children's films and stuff, so many things. and I was just, I watched within the last year a film that you did a few years ago, oh God, probably 10 years ago, but it's based on one of my favorite books of all time, which is Alone in Berlin. Oh my God, you saw that. You were like one of three people. Of course, that book was incredible to me. Oh, I love that book. It's just such an amazing book. It's one of the best second halves of a book I've ever read. It's just mesmerizing. And so then I realized I made a film. And so I just, I didn't know that you had made that film.

33:05Sean Hayes:And I watched it. It was beautiful. It was lovely. It's such a great story. Is it a World War II story? Mm-hmm. It is. It's almost a piece of like resistance art in a way the book is in the film. And how do you, because you do these things across so many different genres, like how do you decide to do like a film like Alone in Berlin, let's say, but just for instance, is it always just material-based or how you're feeling at a certain time in your life and you're like, I want to do something that's kind of moodier? How do you go about that process? I think you're right. I think it's a little bit like meeting the right person at the right time or reading the right book at the right time.

33:46Things come to you at moments when perhaps you need them. I think as artists, sometimes we need to play certain things. It's just coming at us. I mean, I think it's all sort of out there, moving around us all the time. And then things pass us by and we think, oh, I wish I could have, oh, well, actually, no, that was wrong. And then something comes in and hits us right in the centre of us. And you go, I really want to tell that story now. And sometimes you don't know why, but I always know if it's something I want to do. I always know. I mean, it's not something I could quantify in any useful way.

34:31It's literally something will come across my mouth and I go, oh, that's a wonderful story. I mean, Alone in Berlin is, I mean, I'm kind of slightly obsessed with both wars actually because I think they left traumas in our country, in the UK, that have never really been healed or addressed. and so Alone in Berlin for me is just this beautiful, I mean, the book is incredible. If you haven't read it, do. It's Hafner, isn't it? It's his pseudonym, isn't it, Will? Sebastian Hafner.

35:12Sean Hayes:Hans Fulada? Hans Fulada, yeah, and his actual name is perhaps the other one. Yeah, I get that. Sean, you can go get a snack. Three Stooges, right, Sean?

35:22Will Arnett:when that came. Yeah. Alma, have you ever taken apart a character, said yes to it, because that character has sort of a personality trait that you are thinking seriously about expanding in your own life, and this might be a fun way to kind of play a little bit with that and try it on and maybe incorporate some of it at the end if it goes well, kind of because I've done that a couple of times. That's really interesting. Really? like you're like, I want to be like, I'm going to play this smarty pants because I'd like to be a little bit more like, like, like, like how I'm kind of reading this character in this, in the script.

36:01Will Arnett:And this would be a kind of an easy little cheat to try it on. Is that DTF? Is that DTF? Yeah. But, but like, yeah, sometimes it's for the, for the director, the story or the other cast or whatever, but then sometimes it's, it's, it's, oh, I kind of always wanted to be kind of like that and maybe I'll try a little bit here you ever done that I think I did that with Down Cemetery Road I did a telly recently it's a series called Down Cemetery Road which is a quote from a Philip Larkin poem and it's a Mick Herron book it's the Slow Horses group and um I think I I mean not only do I love the author but the character she's sort of my age probably grew up in London during the slightly seamy 60s.

36:50I mean, as a child in the 60s, you know, I think about my childhood in London, how really close to the end of the war that was. I mean, I was born in 1959, so it's 14 years after the end of the Second World War. It's nothing really. It's like a blink of an eye and therefore...

37:09Will Arnett:You're still rebuilding. Yeah. Oh, God, yes, absolutely. and still to a certain extent a little bit of, you know, not having quite enough to eat. It was, I think, quite dark probably, which is, you know, one of the reasons why Alone in Berlin was interesting for me as well. But I think that this character, Zoe, is not a good girl. I was brought up to be very good, very obedient, very, not in a bad way, but in a way that I think that many, many girls in my culture are brought up to be always lovely and kind and loving and emollient and accepting and tolerant. And I think that whilst there is a place for that in both sexes, it is not appropriate for it to be just women who do that, and nor is it sometimes appropriate for them to do it at all.

38:12So, you know, actually, this woman doesn't do it in any way. She just, she's a very releasing sort of character because she's unapologetic and certainly not polite. Right. And whilst she has kindness, certainly, and empathy inside her, she uses it very judiciously and not, as it were, just as a kind of scattergun technique to avoid conflict or being judged for not being, you know, a nice woman.

38:50Sean Hayes:Sure. Does she weaponize it? What do you mean? Like uses it, like it's calculated the way it's used? No, it's quite natural. It's quite natural. It's not really a, it's just an instinct. She's just managed. Like I always feel when Sean's being kind to me, he's just manipulating me, you know what I mean? Well, that's true, I think. Yeah. I mean, I think you're right about that, clearly. Wait, Emma, you grew up, I was just thinking, so both your, as you talk about this, and both your parents, correct me if I'm wrong, were actors, is that right? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, yeah. Yeah, so you grew up like this is a sort of a, you grew up in the family biz in a way, is that right?

39:34Yes, I did, but it was the family business of theater.

39:38Sean Hayes:Yeah. So my parents grew up at a time when there really was no television. So they expected, naturally, as actors, my father was working class from a southern town in our Guildford, had not very much education, was very self-taught, decided to become an actor and leave that patch. I mean, he was a proper lever of everything that he came from. You know, his mother, my grandmother, was a servant. She went into service when she was 16 years old. And indeed, one of her children was born out of wedlock because she was raped by one of her employers. So her journey as a mother with these four children was really quite dramatic.

40:27And Dad got out and went into the theatre and met my mother, who's from Scotland, very different culture and background, Scottish Presbyterian, so very, well, puritanical, actually.

40:44Sean Hayes:Yeah. One can't really avoid that, even though she's never been able to resist good wine. which is excellent. But, you know, there was, I did grow up in this very interesting sort of combination. But they did theatre and they expected to do Shakespeare in the provinces and then radio. And then television arrived. We didn't have a television until I was, I don't know, eight and it was black and white. You know, we didn't do that. We didn't have that. And now it's so different. Yeah. It's kind of indescribably strange, actually.

41:29Will Arnett:You mean the amount of content that's out there to distract you by? The breadth of it all, sort of, in a way. Yeah, and the amount that must be produced. Right. What was your policy with your kids? Did you, were you someone that was, screens are okay, television's okay, iPads are okay? No. Or were you like, no, it's reading? or it's piano lessons or it's... Because I grew up in one of those households. Very, very disciplined. Although there was plenty of TV too. It was kind of a combo. It was a good combo, I think. We told my daughter the television was broken, which she believed for at least eight years.

42:09Still broken. It's still broken. And then she danced in at the age of about nine and said, I've mended it. She just found the sodding remote. Anyway, and we didn't allow her to have a phone until she was at secondary school at the age of 13. Yeah, smart. So iPads, oh God, sometimes when we were driving, we live in Scotland as well, we were driving to Scotland and iPad was a wonderful thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a court. And then they could watch a film, which actually I don't feel guilty about. If it's a good film, it's a lovely way to spend two hours. Because I used to be stuck in the car for eight hours as we were driving to Scotland with nothing to do but stare at the lamppost going by and do terrible sort of...

42:56Sean Hayes:But it's good for the imagination, though. It's really good. Think about all those hours. It's true, and boredom's good for the imagination as well, Will. I know. I am friends with Sean. We've lost our relationship with being bored.

43:06Will Arnett:Managing boredom is a talent everybody needs. Okay, here's my question to all of you. When was the last time you were actually bored? This weekend. Really? Why? How? Well, just because I was inside the whole time. it was raining and I ran out of good TV. I had done all my homework. But then guess what happens? You get truly relaxed. I really feel like true relaxation lives somewhere next door to boredom. And that's when naps happen. And clarity of mind and all your priorities get in the right order. And you can think about what's like, it's a great managing boredom, embracing boredom, seeing the virtues of boredom is something that I just don't think my kids, their generation understands or is friends with.

43:57Will Arnett:They can't even ride an elevator without looking at their phone. Or sit at a red light. Constant stimulation.

44:03Sean Hayes:I've actually said to both my sons at various points, you cannot walk down the stairs looking at your phone. That has to be something that is independent of your phone. This is absurd. But I will say, you know what? I was talking about this with a friend recently. I'm never bored. Like, even if I'm just sitting there, I don't know why. I never feel bored.

44:26Will Arnett:Right. I don't mean it as a pejorative. I just feel like it's like there's, you're not, we're all so, I think most people in the world today are highly functioning. Like, we're just like trained to manage 50 different things at the same time just because it's just sort of global productivity. but there is a great God you're always talking about productivity

44:49Sean Hayes:it's unbelievable you never shy away from productivity Sean I was just thinking Sean I wonder when you hear Emma talk about growing up in the theater and her parents hi Sean by the way welcome to the podcast thank you so much for having me I'm such big fans do you wish in a way when you hear about people who grew up in the theater do you feel knowing how much you enjoy do you ever feel like oh I wish I'd grown up in that kind of environment Yeah, all the time. Do you? Well, even Jason, like growing up around Hollywood and in it, or Emma growing up in it, you know, like... When did it start for you, Sean?

45:24It was high school, right? Yeah, yeah, high school, junior high. I worked backstage. I worked the light, not the light. It was just one light. One switch. Yeah, it was one switch. Seriously, it was on and off. And it was... We got our guy. We got our guy. I was like, I think I can do that. And it was Calamity Jane, the musical Calamity Jane. Oh, yeah. And, yeah, that was junior high and then high school. And then I was nervous about telling my family I was in theater because it wasn't associated with sports. And I thought, what were they going to think? And so my oldest brother was like, hey, dude, it's okay, bro.

45:57Like, I play football. I have makeup on underneath my eyes, the black marks underneath my eyes. Just like, you wear makeup. And I was like, oh, that's really sweet. And then other things happened. Well, let's not get into that. But yeah, I don't know that I love to do it anymore. I mean, the grind of theater is something, right, Emma? That you just have to, that the repetition on your body and your brain is something you kind of have no choice but to outgrow because of the endurance. We'll be right back. This summer, if your group chat is throwing around, we should get away. Consider Scottsdale, Arizona.

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49:23Sean Hayes:and back to the show what was the last theater production you were a part of Emma because you've done so many well I haven't actually I've mostly done film but But the last thing I did was something I, again, you know we were talking earlier about things that you just can't say no to. They asked me to do Sweeney Todd. Steve Sondheim's Sweeney Todd with Bryn Turfel. And we did it with the New York Philharmonic at the Lincoln Center. We did five performances there and then we did two weeks at the Dominion here. When was this? How cool. It was 10 years ago maybe. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah, and... You'd be great.

50:04I'm sure you were phenomenal. It was just absolutely... You mean the psychotic-like woman who kills people and puts them into pies? Walk it back, Sean. Quick, quick, quick. Sean, Sean, Sean, Sean. You've got to let Sean finish, Emma. No, the comedy of it. I'm sure you nailed it. No, I'm sure I went way too far. But anyway, the point was we were on stage with the New York Philharmonic, and one of the things that really... I loved about it was the sort of cross-pollination of different art forms that you had a whole orchestra on stage that you could act with so you know you were acting while the timpanist was behind you making these amazing noises and they loved it as well the orchestra adored it because you were in amongst them and I think that we silo music classical music in particular and acting in the theatre, you know, which sometimes can just make people feel a little bit superior, which is not the case.

51:04It's just acting in the theatre. She's looking right at you, Sean. And then there's television acting, which is television acting. You've got to be really clever with the camera. If you're a good actor, you're a good actor, you're a good actor, whatever you're doing. I love that. I can't bear all that snobbery, which was very much alive when my parents were coming up. So, yeah, that was the last thing I did. And I, oh, I mean, it was an amazing feeling. Like, I don't know whether you guys have ever had this, but when you do something that uses every single cell of you, nothing is left behind. You know how you can come on particularly to do a job that's a short job and you're doing a small part or a cameo role and you're using a tiny little bit of your palette and you have to be careful not to overdo it.

51:50That's very much to your point, Sean, about Professor Trelawney. It had to be a very specific, small thing. And it had to be right. But it had to be big as well. But this had to be right. It had to be enormous. And it used absolutely everything I had. And I had such a wonderful time doing it. But my God, it took me nine months to learn it. And then I did it for like 30 performances.

52:16Will Arnett:Yeah, I hear Sondheim is almost as difficult as Shakespeare, right? Sometimes. I mean, you've got the music part of it as well. Yeah, finding those notes and those chords is really hard. I would say harder, yeah. Harder than Shakespeare. Shakespeare makes it easy for us. He's like a wonderful old sailing boat you can get into and just sail into the sunset. Really? Because he's so reliable.

52:37Sean Hayes:Well, speaking of writing, I mentioned that you're the only performer to have won for acting and writing, and you wrote Sense and Sensibility and how did that happen? I did not know that. Because I didn't know that either. And so it's delightful to know that. I adapted it. Jane Austen wrote it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've laterized mercilessly. Yeah. Oh, it's not in radio. No, no. But how did that happen with the great Ang Lee, right? Directed Sense and Sensibility? With the great Ang Lee. Actually, it happened kind of interestingly because like I used to do comedy. That was my thing. That's what I wanted to do.

53:12And I was very lucky. because I worked with a wonderful comedy producer. He produced the first all-black comedy series in the UK, Desmond's, and he worked with an awful lot of black and Asian and female comedians. He was, I suppose, quite revolutionary in that sense, and I made a comedy series with him. And one of the sketches I wrote was about a young woman coming back from her honeymoon to see her mother, with something on her mind. And she starts to talk to her mother about a small little woodland hairy creature that lives in her husband's lap that he's drawn attention to on several occasions that appears to be attached and also changes shape sometimes that she just doesn't want to touch or have anything to do with.

54:05And so the sketch is about sexual ignorance. So it's a feminist sketch about the fact that women weren't allowed to know about sex, but then they were just sent off into the wild. They were married off without any kind of help whatsoever. And can you imagine coming across a penis for the first time and then seeing it become erect in front of your very eyes and not know what it was? That's what we put people through. Anyway, so the sketch was about that. And I think it was quite funny. And our producer, Lindsay Duran, the extraordinary Hollywood producer who actually started her work with Spinal Tap, excuse me, literally one of my favorite films ever.

54:49Sean Hayes:Sure. So she wrote to me and said, I've seen your sketch about the Victorian penis. I wonder if you would fancy adapting a Jane Austen novel. I thought, interesting. Interesting segue. Yeah. Wow. I said, well, I'll give it a go. So I gave it a go.

55:11Will Arnett:You sure gave it a go. Amazing. Now, what about other screenplays afterwards, Forgive My Ignorance? Is that something that you... No, not at all. We've been forgiving your ignorance for a minute. I've written loads that haven't been made, actually. But I've written a couple of kids' films, one called Nanny McPhee, who's a strange sort of warty, witchy woman. and actually we've spent 10 years writing the musical of that which is coming into the West End next year. No way. Wow. Who wrote the music for that? Gary Clark who wrote the music for Sing Street which was a lovely sort of beautiful Irish film.

55:54So he's one of those people who just can write songs. He spent years and years in Nashville and you just think about the music industry. is just amazingly full of these people who, he was in a band and it was kind of going, but he didn't like the fame, he didn't like the glare. So he retreated and started to write songs. And he's written songs with so many of the greats. He's just a wonderful songwriter. And we have written about a billion songs, cut a billion songs. We've been writing it for so long. I gave him a couple of touchstones. I said, think Tom Waits' Swordfish Trombone. And also, do you know a gang called the Tiger Lilies?

56:39They're quite a number of them. Yeah, that was the kind of thing. I was like a Victorian steampunk, slightly dark, you know, a little bit on the circus side, but not, you know, like dark.

56:51Will Arnett:That sounds great. So that's what we've been doing. That's really cool.

56:55Sean Hayes:Yeah, I can't wait for that. I would be remiss if we didn't mention your new project, The Sheep Detective. The Sheep Detective. What is that about? No, that's Craig Mazin wrote that. Craig Mazin, you know? The great Craig Mazin. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I love Craig. JB, you're old buddy. He wrote Chernobyl. Yeah. He's such a wonderful, wonderful man. And then he wrote, he adapted a book where, yeah, it's about a shepherd who gets murdered and his sheep solve the crime. I mean, that's it. That's the log line. You just go, yes, I'll be in it. I'll play a sheep. I'll play anything. I'll play a broom. I'll play anything.

57:33It's such a good premise.

57:35Will Arnett:And this is starring Hugh Jackman. Sounds like a great yarn.

57:39Sean Hayes:Guys, sorry. Sorry. Nice. Nice. Good. I noticed that. Thank you.

57:44Will Arnett:I hear this is a really, really good film that parents would like as well. Because it is made for the kids, right?

57:52Sean Hayes:It's you and the delightful Hugh Jackman. Is that right? Am I right about that?

57:57Will Arnett:Did you have to work with some photorealistic animals or is it? Photorealistic actors.

58:10No, actually I was only on it for about three weeks. I'd just done a thriller in Finland. And then I was going on to the telly. So I sort of kind of dropped in for three weeks with this lovely bunch of folk. And it was gorgeous.

58:26Will Arnett:Yeah, it sounds like a gorgeous type of location, right? Where did you shoot that? Oh, God, now you're asking me. I mean, it was in England. It was in England, okay. And actually we shot the second nanomiphate in the same village because it's this kind of picture-perfect village. And I can't remember what it's called. Well, most importantly... I think it's called Hambledon, actually. I think I've actually remembered that, which is a fucking miracle given that I'm literally 175 degrees here. Yeah. My brain's boiling. Was it close enough to your house where you could sleep in your own bed or did you have to stay?

59:02Will Arnett:No, so not. So, so not. No. Okay, so you had to live on vacation.

59:06Sean Hayes:Never. You know what I love about England staying in an English hotel, especially a small English hotel, is an English breakfast. I adore an English breakfast. Who doesn't? Well, there's different kinds. So, Will, what do you get? You like the little... I shy away from the black puddings, but I like eggs and sausage. What's black pudding? I've never had black pudding. Yeah, what's in a black pudding? Haven't you, Sean? Molasses? It's pig's blood. No. No, it's not. It's congeling. It is. It's pig's blood mixed up with various sort of spices and grains. Oh, my God. It's like haggis. Look at Jesus' face.

59:39Because I'm half Scottish, and haggis is a sheep's stomach. Oh, my God. The sheep's stomach is filled with all the sort of offal, which is all chopped up with various bits. Did somebody just make a sheep noise? Oh, my God.

59:57Will Arnett:Well, why do we have these kinds of foods over there? Is it because we were poor? The country's so old that you had to figure out how to make stuff you could eat out of what was available, right? This is before. But also, you didn't waste anything. So if you killed a cow, you ate its fucking stomach as well. The only thing you didn't eat was its hair and its horns. You had to work out how if you had an animal and you killed it. Don't forget, it's really quite recent that the country, I suppose Scotland in particular, was poor, very poor, until recently, and in many areas it's still poor. Now, the longest I've ever spent in England is just recently last year for like three or four months.

1:00:45What were you doing over there, Sean? Do you get, Emma, do you get, are you as entranced still by the charm of the country and everything around it in the history? Are you just kind of like, it is what it is. And yeah, there's Big Ben, there's the thing. I'm so used to it that it's hard to appreciate it anymore. Or do you still feel like, wow? Oh, no, I'm much more entranced than I was when I was young. I mean, I just adore it. I'm a Londoner, but I'm also a Scot, so my mother's Scottish. So for me, the most beautiful countryside is in Scotland. And Scotland is wild and it's very, you know, it's unheld, it's unbound and it's full of the most extraordinary energies.

1:01:31And London is also, you know, a very precious place because everyone, this great teeming bowl of people living in this massive city, generally speaking quite peacefully. Yeah, I love it. I'm very, I love, love my city. I'm not as familiar with England, actually, the countryside, but the countryside in England can be quite breathtaking. Yeah, beautiful. You go up to Yorkshire in the north or Northumberland, or, you know, we were shooting all over those. We shot in Cornwall last year, and I'd never really spent any time in Cornwall, and I just wanted to go and live there. It was so exquisite and still full of character and community, actually.

1:02:19You know what?

1:02:20Sean Hayes:Might I suggest a non-scripted show, Emma, where you go around and rediscover England? There you go. We're going to produce it. Listen, we're going to pitch it to you. We're going to get in touch with your people. You all have to come with me. Yes. I'm a devoted Anglephile. These guys know. And the sheep go with you and comment. The sheep come with. And then at the end of the show, we eat them? Yes, of course. Every piece. Every piece. Every piece. And Jason takes the stomach. Jason takes the stomach. You all have to take one particular really sort of unpleasant part, like the pancreas, and then you invent a really good little recipe just for that part.

1:02:58I'll take the coat.

1:02:59Sean Hayes:By the way, I'm going to put this out there. I'm going to put this out there. There is somebody listening right now, maybe over in the UK, who's going to say, like, this is a great idea. And you are going to get an incoming call. It is a good idea, actually. Right? I would watch the hell out of that. Yeah, I would watch that, too. Of Emma going through England and discovering villages in different places. Oh, look at this. Like Stanley Tucci in Italy. I can't wait. I love it. I can't wait. I'm an EP on it already. I'll just go around saying endlessly, you want some gain? That was my favorite phrase.

1:03:29Sean Hayes:You want some gain? You want more of me? That was Jason. As he was saying, you want some gain? It just sounded so... Oh, yes, I think I do want some gay. That's hot podcast talk. What are you going to suggest next? Emma, we have taken up too much of your time. It's been probably been an hour. What an absolute delight to have you here. That was real fast. Yeah, that was fast. I hope you get to cool off and jump in a pool. We could have gone on forever. No, I'm literally going to go. And I put the blooming scusher thing on in the garden. I'm going to go and stand in it now.

1:04:01Will Arnett:Yeah, good idea. I don't think we got to any questions even. And the next time you come on the show, we're actually going to ask you some questions. On the next Smartless. Yeah. That was so lovely, guys. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thanks for being here. Thank you so much for your time

1:04:14Sean Hayes:and for everything that you do. And we're just such fans. It's just amazing. Yeah, we are. Well, right back at you. Every single one of you, I love you deeply. Likewise. Thank you, my dear. Make sure you pick your kids up off the floor. Yeah, absolutely. No, they've gone. They've long gone. They're lying face down on the wet lawn. alrighty farewell thanks Selma bye bye um guys yeah Emma Thompson have you seen Remains of the Day yes yes I mean I've seen that so many times how many films how many films do you think she's done I bet she's done I don't know like 65 movies well what's better than that how many great films has she done I know like so many 64 so many incredible performances yeah it just so and just all and so different in every genre it's just effortless

1:05:06Will Arnett:yeah and I meant it she is there's always there's some sort of cheeky little wink always to each one of her characters oh you find her

1:05:13Sean Hayes:to be a little cheeky do you she's a bit cheeky

1:05:16Will Arnett:she's a bit cheeky no she also she also like she's also emanates kind of like she's gonna take care of me like you know she's my mom yes you know and I like that I want her to take care of me I'm gonna send her my number I agree with you

1:05:28Sean Hayes:I mean think about Love Actually oh yeah forgot about that That massive hit that everybody's still... It's just...

1:05:35Will Arnett:I think you squandered an opportunity there, Will. You really could have gone down an incredible memory lane of parts and movies and stuff and said, you're fucking talking about haggis and goddamn... But there was no time

1:05:46Sean Hayes:because we were just having a conversation, man. We were just visiting, weren't we? Yeah, we were just having a quick little visit. We're not journalists. No.

1:05:52Will Arnett:Yeah, we'll have to have her back.

1:05:54Sean Hayes:Yeah, you know, we're just...

1:05:56Will Arnett:Love action. We're just simple guys, you know. We're not very smart. In fact, we're smart less. Oh. Oh, wow. So see, so right there, I was just introducing a new sign-off. Instead of buy, we work on some sort of way to just say, yeah, I guess we're just kind of smart less. And then it's over. But that's the only one you can use then. You can only say we're smart less. Right, but you got to somehow work that into the sentence. Yeah, but that could just be like...

1:06:23Sean Hayes:That came out of this process of us doing that. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like that's a natural progression. In a way, it's almost, you could call it like a buy product. Buy product. A buy product of the show. Bye. Smart. Less.

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