"James McAvoy"

26:54And I luckily got in. And is this the Royal Scottish Academy of Music and Drama? Formerly known as, now known as the Royal Conservatoire of Scotland. And this is, you don't just pay 10 bucks and get in to that place. This is a very, very prestigious place. I come from a country with a proud history of socialist democracy. So luckily I was the last, I think I was the last year to have their tuition completely paid for them. But still, it ain't some swinging door there. No, no. It's a high-end institution. Yeah, yeah. It was kind of, I guess it was tough to get in. I was really, I was lucky I got in it my first try.

27:36If I hadn't got in it my first try, I might have gone off and done one of those other things, you know. But listen, to answer your question, Sean, I would say there's a couple of things that I would pass on. One is try and be more American in terms of what you do as an actor. Try and create your own work. Because you guys, I don't, we, I think it's changing now, but me coming up, it felt like us as young actors it was like you're a hired gun you're like a carpenter that's hired in right and you guys when i met you guys you guys when i met you guys back in like 2003 when i first started coming to america i was like whoa whoa wait you're like you've got two editions a month and you've got a production company and you've written four scripts and you're like how do you do this like what do you mean you got development deal with who i was like what I could not believe.

28:28But it's also grown up within an industry that is actually an industry, whereas in Britain, it's a little bit, we feel lucky to be here and we feel lucky to get to do the secret thing that fairies and elves get to do. And it feels a bit more like a cottage industry. Yeah, I guess that's kind of what I meant a little bit was like, do you do, like, you know, being an actor is plenty. You know, there's a lot of work that goes with that. Yeah. But as to your point, a lot of people are realizing the industry is changing you kind of have to be all things in order to you have to kind of cultivate your own work for yourself and so I just didn't know if that was something that you're doing now like are you delving into other aspects directing producing writing anything like that I'm directing at the moment I'm about to go into prep for my first film in the 20th of August it's really exciting which is really exciting but I don't want to produce I don't want to write I don't want to do those things I've done those things in the past and I did not find it to be my wheelhouse what's drawing you to the directing?

29:28Control, power, abuse of it not the paycheck not the paycheck do you know what? I've been looking to tell stories about my own country for a long long time and every single story I got sent was like gritty Scottish drama about drugs and the kind of neighbourhoods I grew up in Trainspotting but actually Trainspotting would be okay because that was an incredibly beautiful, artistic way to tell stories about people who have no opportunities. But likewise, this is a true story. I just burped on camera really loud. Do not cut that. I can smell it. It's only audio. It's only audio. Audio smells. Do you want me to tell you what it's about?

30:15Yeah, please. It's not going to be out for like 14 years. Don't worry. Are you in it or are you just going to direct it? I need to be in it. I need to be in it to get it bonded. it's a true story about two rappers from Dundee who rapped about Scottish things in their Scottish accent they came down to London in the early 2000s and they did an audition for Sony they literally got laughed out of the room even though they were awesome and they came back like a year later they'd re-recorded all their demos and all their backing tracks with American accents and they pretended to be these two skater dudes from Hemet in California.

30:53Yeah. And they got a record deal from the same label that day. Oh my God. For 35 grand. And they got housed and they got given a studio and they got an A &R rep. And for two and a half years, they pretended to be 24-7. Like even when they were alone together, they pretended to be these two dudes called Syllable and Brains. Wow. And they nearly made it. They nearly made it. It's an incredible story. But yeah, so that's our, That's the film we're making. That's pretty great. It's called California Scheming. Oh, that's so good. Wait, who's doing it with you? It's just me on my own with my camcorder.

31:32And a mirror. I'm going to shoot it on my iPhone in my basement. I'm really excited. We're independent at the moment. Studio Canal are involved. Screen Scotland are involved. No, but I mean, it's two guys. You're one of the guys and who's your partner? I ain't one of the guys. I'm too old. These guys were like 1920. Well, Will, you can hang on. I don't know where Will's going with this. Will, you got a pretty high, you know, low range there. You can play 19-20. Can you give us just a little bit of rapping, Will? Yeah, and Scotland. And Scottish. No, no, no, they're American rappers. Yeah, they're American, so you're perfect.

32:03Oh, Sean, listen to James' story much? Fucking Jesus. All right, so go ahead. I was throwing a twist in there for you. This is an opportunity to audition just a little bit. No, no, no. I'm the beatbox guy. I'm doing the beatbox. No, I'm the beatbox. You do the rapping. No, you're rapping. You're auditioning for this. Okay. All right. Never mind. Now, James, what about, now this film. I was wrapping. Go ahead. This film that you're going to be directing, the role that you're going to be playing in it, is it a role that is going to, that is appropriate for you to do sort of character type acting?

32:38Or is it a role that would be more appropriate if you were to do that level of acting? Would you be overplaying the part? Or do you just need to just be a guy? Or can we see some good hard looks? Will you just throw a bunch of hard looks? I think there's going to be some hard looks. There's going to be some... Yeah. Yeah. Smoking. Hard looks. I think it just requires me to be kind of me. Yeah. But I might get nervous at the last minute throwing a limp. Or just have the guy have a cold the whole movie. Yeah. That's a good idea. He's got to be Scottish. Can I make a... First of all, the hard looks are good, so I don't want to eat into them because you do them really, really well.

33:21Have you thought about an eye patch? Hey, that's the thing. If I internalize the eye patch, you will see the eye patch. Oh, wow. I want to talk about... Wait, first of all, I know probably everybody comes up to you and says how brilliant you were in Split, but I just thought it was... I thought it was like you should have won an Academy Award. Like, it was an incredible performance. Thank you. And tell me, you played all these different characters because the guy was a fucking serial killer. Split personality? Yeah. but also these different accents and different characters and you buy each and every one of them.

33:55Like to your point, they were all real. They were all very real. So tell me about the process and were you scared to do that many different kind of people? I was not scared. I got that job pretty last minute because it was meant to be Wacken Phoenix. Oh, really? Excuse me, I just burped again. I'm drinking fizzy water, guys. It's all I drink. It's all I drink. Joaquin Phoenix was supposed to do it because he had a relationship with M. Night Shyamalan from like Signs and was he in the village as well? I think he's in the village isn't he? Yeah and then I don't know what happened but like two weeks before they started shooting he read the script or something and went I don't want to do this and for whatever reason he fell out and so I get the call saying hey do you want to read this?

34:45It's super secret you've got to read it and then like give it back and I was like cool and they were saying it's M. Night Shyamalan and I've been a fan of loads of his films and I was like definitely. It came to me and I thought this has got the potential to be really good. Like it could also go off a cliff and be really bad but I think that's the case with most really interesting or fun things. They could go either way. That's not a criticism of his material there by the way. But yeah, it was a lot of characters, it was a lot of work but it was well written and I thought it's good hard work and as long as I've got enough time to come up with this, we can figure it out.

35:21But it was down to the wire trying to find all the characterizations. The last one we found was at the table read. In fact, Jason Blum had flown in and people from Universal had flown into Philly where we made the film. And I'm doing this table read going like, we haven't really found the character Hedwig. And at the last minute... Who modeled it after Blum? I just drove around LA in a van all the time I just want to say to Blum you finally made it onto the podcast you know what I mean he's listening he's in the queue he's coming in we love him we're going to bring him on he's cool I think their company do good things for Tracy Jason Blum is Blumhouse so Blumhouse pictures and he does also he also does drive around LA in a van so Jason's right about that he does yeah a plumbing van But this new film is a Blumhouse as well, right?

36:14Speak No Evil? This new film is a Blumhouse as well. And it does, the Blumhouse does so well. The trailer looks great. I think so too. We love him. We are going to have him on. But wait, I want to hear. So you're there. You haven't found the last thing. You're at the table reading. It's like fucking down to the wire. It's down to the wire. And the director, Knight, goes, listen, I think for the character of Hedwig, the kid in the movie, he's like, I think you should do it with like a sibilant S. And I'm like, like a lisp? and he's like, we say sibilant lisp. And I was like, all right, cool, I'll do it with a sibilant lisp.

36:46And I'm like, what? I'm just going to throw this in to the table read. I was like, are you kidding? Oh, fuck, okay. And then within seconds of doing it, I was like, this was a good call. And suddenly the whole character came together. But no, look, it was a lot of heavy lifting in that job, but if you can lift it, then it's a good lift. Do you know what I mean? I'm speaking like I'm a total bro. Yeah, but again, for Tracy, when you shoot a movie, it's all out of order. You're not taking care of it. You do one character and then you're done and then in James' case, you do another character and then you're done.

37:25So you're probably playing sometimes three or four different characters on the same day, right? Yeah, that's crazy. And would you agree that you seem to be the kind of real actor that will find the version of each character inside you. And if that is true, then when you're playing in a movie where you're playing multiple characters and basically going through schizophrenia, does it ever become super taxing on yourself to explore all those different parts of yourselves and try to be as authentic and as believable as possible and it sort of like triggers and brings these characters up in you and you don't know who the hell you are then when you go home?

38:08Or are you just doing a lisp?

38:13You see me, man. You see me. I think there's only really been one time in my career where I brought it home. Actually, there's maybe three times in my career where I brought it home. But I do like what you just said. It is always me. It doesn't matter how weird it is or how wacky it looks or how different it seems from my personality, it's always me. There's no becoming the character. It's always me. There's always, it's some version of yourself. You know what I mean? So that's all you have to give. And if some other actor says, but no, I actually do transform into someone else, like I'm cool with that.

38:50I'll believe them too. But for me, it's just, all you have is your own tool, your own body. But the only jobs that I brought at home were Macbeth, because it was all about losing children for me. and that just the whole of Macbeth, I was apparently not an easy person to live with when I did Macbeth. And then whenever I've played a victim, I've played a victim kind of twice now, maybe in a Danny Boyle movie called Trance and then a movie that I just made in Germany. And I just felt awful about myself because I was such a victim of circumstance and other people's control. I did not enjoy that experience and that's the only times that I've ever brought it home with me those three we'll be right back

39:40alright back to the show now in this trailer for Speak No Evil by the way you look huge did you go to the gym just for this part? cool it Sean I'm like 6 foot 4 it's on my IMDB page I'm like bigger than Hugh Jackman are you with 6 '4"? no Sean 5 '7"? oh how are you by the way Sean you said it I just want to say it should be noted because to be fair you said that you often bring it home from a movie sure sorry by it I mean craft service you usually bring a lot of it home with you don't you? just bags yeah I just came home back from a family reunion there was all this extra food there and it's just like there was like a bag of donuts I grabbed those was grab a couple other things.

40:29Did you really? Yeah. But there's all this extra food and I felt so bad throwing it out. Anyway. What's that image of you, Sean Hayes, bringing a bag of donuts onto a plane? Hugging everybody goodbye with you slinging the bag over their back while you hug them all. Hollywood bad boy steals donuts from family reunion. Yeah, powdered sugar. Hollywood bad boy, Sean Hayes. No, wait. You do look so buff in that trailer. It's like crazy. You look like you worked out crazy. Do you know what? I didn't do it for the movie. I just did it for the fun. I did it because we were in the lockdown. We were in pandemic land.

41:05Yeah, yeah. I just had my second child. And I was like, you know what? I can't let having a child, again, stop me from exercising for three years. So I was like, I'm going to double down. And I started eating crazy amounts of food and lifting crazy heavy weight. Yeah. And two years later, the script came along. And it was like, oh, perfect. This works. Yeah, yeah. Let's talk about when you decide to toggle between mediums, when you go between theater and film. Yeah. Because you've done an incredible amount of very prestigious theater work, and I would imagine that's very, very rewarding to you.

41:43Yeah. But you also have to pay the bills, and you're a big movie star, and you probably enjoy doing that stuff too. So how do you decide between, is there a rhythm you like to maintain, or is it just kind of job-to-job kind of thing? Rhythm is a dancer. Speaking my language. Honestly, wonderful. Wait, wait, let's try to get some music in right here. Wonderful. That was wonderful. Rhythm, I don't know if there's rhythm. My agent, Ruth Young, who I've been with since I was 20, always says, do one for them, do one for yourself. And it ends up being more a little bit like, do like four for them and do one for yourself.

42:24if I come back and I manage to get to do theatre it has generally over the last 15 years been with Jamie Lloyd the same director again and again and again and the biggest thing with theatre for me is it's a risk because it's the most exposing thing you can do as an actor and you have to go up and sacrifice something every single night and if it's shit you're sacrificing and it's like going down like a cup of cold sick and the audience are sitting there literally going like or they're asleep right and you can fucking see it and that kills man that hurts so it's whereas you make a movie like the audience experience of that is like time traveling a year and a half in the future and you're not even there like you can get back and you get paid like way better and it's a different thing but it's not it doesn't have the creative fulfillment for you does it it does they both have the creative fulfillment but if I was going to be in a bad play or a bad movie I'd rather be in a bad play if I was going to be in a good play or a good movie, I'd rather be in a good play.

43:25What about the time that it takes? The commitment you have to make ahead of time to commit to that play, rehearse, put it up and you can't leave until it's done. How many really killer jobs have you missed because you've committed to a play and you're like, oh, fuck. Had no way of knowing that script is coming. Not many, actually. I've missed some killer jobs because I didn't get them. Uh-huh. And I've missed but then your career pans out differently and you're glad you didn't get it. Yeah, yeah. Everything you have. Is there one job that you're comfortable telling us that you wish you would have gotten?

44:03Yeah, totally. Which one? Deep stroke. No, I...

44:12Good night, Oscar. Yeah. The Broadway show with Sean Hayes. Yeah, yeah. So I went up for Pirates of the Caribbean when I was Nezobody. Yeah. This is Orlando Bloom's part? Orlando ended up getting it. It was me. I think I remember it was a guy called Paul Nichols and Orlando and someone else. And I don't even think Orlando was auditioning, actually. I think he was off in Middle Earth doing those movies with Peter Jackson. And it was me and these two other guys. Sean, yeah. No, that's where he was. I believe it was the second film in the Fellowship of the Year. Well, at that point, they were in Middle-earth, of course.

44:57But, you know, the precious. I believe they were in the land of Mordor, where the shadow's like. Mordor. Mordor. And I went and screened camera tests. I felt like I think I got really close to it. I ended up having to do this camera test with Keira Knightley, who I later ended up doing atonement with. Anyway, got real close to it, and then it never happened. But that was one that I was like, I would get to go to, like, sunny places. and be on ships and dress, dress like with a wig on and like guns that have powder that come out of them. Of course, they're muskets, man. And like, Johnny Depp ended up being in it and Keira was amazing.

45:37It was, it was... And there were like five of them, right? Six of them. There were like five, Tina, them. And I was, I was kind of gutted about that one that I never thought of. I understand. But then my career went a different way and I was so happy with how my career went that I was very philosophical about it and like totally fine with it. But at the time for about a year I was like man the one that got away you know. Yeah. There is one more I could tell you about. Yes please. But I don't want to tell you about it. No let's just have one more sip. One more sip. There was a big one. There was a big one and the director who cast me in it he I'd seen him really early in my career for a small part in a movie playing like the younger version of one of the main bad guys at the beginning of the movie so i'd only be in it for like five ten minutes but it was like an awesome part yeah and i came in for this audition and by the end of the audition like we'd shared so much life shit he was crying i was crying like the the audition went amazing like the acting was like it went great and as i'm walking out the room he's like he's like oh my god well we found the guy it's him we found the guy they never even called my agent christ wow and And then when you saw who they cast, were you like, oh, that's why I didn't get it?

46:52No. No? You still didn't understand. I did not think great of their casting. However, that was like the snidiness of youth movie. But years later, there was this big, huge, gazillion dollar movie getting made, and they come to me, and they go, listen, we would love you to meet so-and-so with this director. And so I go and sit down with this director, and I'm like, you remember me, right? and he's like no have we met i'm like i love your work and i'm like no no we met and i relayed the whole story to him and he's like nah don't have a single memory of that dude we were in tears together you said we found the guy and looked at me as i left the room and so did you do this big film for him or did you tell him to go fuck i actually did sign on to the film it took three years and yeah i was like i wasn't trying to like take him to task i was just like dude this is funny we need to talk about this right but um it took like three years to actually get it going and by the time those three years had passed i had a kid and this movie was being filmed in the other side of the world and i was like i am not going out there for a year and a half of my life to go and do whatever you know what is what does jimmy flau do on the uh on the side like when he's not acting on the side we're talking about that bro driving drive a cab for free just get my shits what do I do on the side?

48:12Do you know what? It's like being a dad and being a guy at home and I'm like You're working out. No, not anymore. I haven't worked out in about six months. But yeah, I was doing a lot of that before. Yeah, yeah. Play video games with my kids. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. What about, didn't you burn one of your video games because you were too addicted to it? Wait, what? So it's actually, James had a problem I had a real problem I don't like to talk about it but I feel like the more I can make people aware maybe I can help someone else yeah why don't you help somebody if one person if you can save one person save a life right now you have a little gaming issue because I do too I play a lot of games on my phone what do you play?

48:57oh just the dumbest shit no he plays fucking Candy Crush it's not gaming you don't talk to him James it's not game I played a lot of I played Call of Duty I played Call of Duty with the same dudes for like 10 years straight like fucking five nights a week, man. I know you're, I feel your pain. During the pandemic, I had my, my eldest son was 11 or 12. Archie, how long ago was that? He was like 11 or 12. I started letting him stay up to like two in the morning to play Call of Duty with my friends and me. And, and his mom calls me and she's like, he, you cannot let him stay up to fucking two to play with you and your moronic friends.

49:31Right. The not my friends, they're like laser dude six and he's also. These are my comrades. These are my brothers. We're in war together. These aren't my friends. This is good. So you're in remission now, or are you still dabbling? It started. Listen, I've lapsed a couple of times. The first time I realized I had a problem, I was making a movie in Ireland with Anne Hathaway, and it was called Becoming Jane. It was about Jane Austen. And I'm getting home every night, and my wife at the time had bought me an Xbox in this fantasy role-playing game called Oblivion, The Elder Scrolls. Aptly fucking entitled Oblivion because that's what it was taking my life.

50:14And I remember getting home from work at like seven or eight or like nine, one of those crazy hours that you get home at in the movie business. And I order a pizza and like a two-liter bottle of Coke or as we call it in Scotland, a two-liter bottle of ginger. Any soft drink, fizzy soft drink can be called ginger. Two-liter bottle of ginger and a pizza hut. and I stick in Oblivion and I go to Oblivion and then I just remember going I'll just play for five minutes more I'll play for five minutes more and then my driver is waiting to take me to work at 6.30 in the morning and this is like not the first time it happened on that job either and I was like something has changed and I press the eject button and the CD comes out of the disc drive and I go over to the gas stove and I turn on the gas stove and I'm standing there like this going how am I going to how am I going to like fall in love with Jane Austen?

51:05And I'm like, because you know, and then I just drop it on the gas stove and I just watch it melt. And then I walked away. That's a bottom. Yeah, I mean, it's a real thing. Like people, it's a real thing. Yeah, and your bottom is only when you decide to stop digging. You know what I mean? Yeah. But the pandemic, I had the same thing as you, man. I had like three buddies. We all went, hey guys, should we just get like a, should we all get like a PS4 or something like that? And we're like, we'll all play some shooting game? Come to like two years later, and we're like, John, John, I'm going in. I'm going in, man.

51:40Buy me up. Buy me up. Push, push, push. Push. I know. It got so fucking crazy. And then I recently had one of my friends say, hey, we're still playing. I'm like, no, I'm never going. I can't do it, man. Not right now. I think I'm the last man standing. I'm the last guy still playing. You are. You are still playing. so you've managed to find the right size for it the right size for my addiction yeah I mean you're not staying up until dawn anymore are you no no no no there had to be a cap do you know what to be honest I came back from a job in Germany where I did a lot of it because I was just on my own and I didn't have my family with me and that was quite good and I bought a little laptop to make it portable but since I've come home and I'm getting into prep and I'm casting and I'm working on the script and all that there's just no time for it and actually it's been kind of good because it's time to be an adult at 45.

52:32What game is it? What game is it that you're... Call of Duty, man. Yeah, of course. Of course. Like during the pandemic, it was running around Verdansk getting killed by like 12-year-old guys in China. How crazy was that when they did that first, what do they call that big map that they dropped during the pandemic, the fucking... Verdansk. Yeah, it was fucking crazy, wasn't it? It was crazy. It was so good. But within a month, those kids were so good at sniping that you couldn't even last for a minute. Like, you'd land and you'd be dead. We were bad at that game for two years, my squad and I. We were, what was the name?

53:08It was K-Chuck. There was, because it was the pandemic, one of them named themselves Touch of Flu. And then the other one was Severe Shock O. And I was Walker Janeway, which is a character I played in a kind of a middle class New York play once and I'm like there's people running around going like I'm gonna kill you severe shocker I'm gonna kill you touch a flute and then going I'm gonna get you Walker Janeway it was so good it was like so bougie but yeah no it was and you know what I found as well right I've been pals with those guys since my early 20s and what was really special about it was that we'd be running around going like push, push, push, I'm going in.

53:54Fucking hell, John, support me. So when did you say that you got that procedure done? Oh my God, that's interesting. I never knew that about you. And we were just like, bleh, in a way we never had. Yeah, you know what, it's funny you say that. As much as I sort of rail against it too, and I do love gaming, is that I stayed connected to a lot of guys. We have this crew of us, the clown crew, we're still on a text chain that we've been on since 2007. And that we all play this game together. And these guys now, and Jason, and especially those because we did a few things in the gaming thing and it's like me and Giles who goes by Kid Lightning and Mark who goes by Foreman Beast.

54:29He's known as Beast to all of us. They all call me Wendell because my handle is Wendell Leaf because it's named after my favorite hockey player and we've had so many moments. I was texting with the guys this morning. Our buddy Jerry who we also called Gary for no reason. Gary just had his second kid and we're all congratulating him on the thing and we all know each other from the gaming thing and so there is a community thing. It's really quite nice. I don't know if you remember you tried to get me like years and years and years ago tried to get me in one of those groups I played for maybe seven minutes yes and I couldn't exit the thing I just would get shot like every single time right away and I couldn't figure out like so I'd be like let's try it again let's try it again we'd start again and I'd come out with these guns and everybody's just bang bang bang bang bang like I'd just be dead in two seconds it was awful but it is a good way to connect and that part of it I do like that part of it for sure We were so bad at it for two solid years.

55:24We never got any better. And it was a lot of fun. We laughed our asses off. I love that. Well, James, you're a lot of fun. We've laughed our asses off with you today. We sure have. And we appreciate your time, my friend. Very nice to get to know you. Huge fans of yours. It's really cool to meet you. Have a great time directing. Yes, I talk about you all the time. I just think you're an incredible actor. Thanks, you guys. Speak no evil. out now. It is from the great Jason Blum. Directed, written by James Watkins, everybody. Speak No Evil. Check it out. Go and see it. Yeah, Jimmy Frow. Thanks, Jimmy Frow.

56:06Jimmy Frow. Jimmy Frow with the Hatchings. Back of all. Thanks, you guys. Guys, thanks a million. Seriously, love your stuff. And as performers, actors, writers, directors, you're fucking amazing, the threes. Thank you. It was really, really great to meet you, my friend. Thank you. See you then, guys. Cheers. Bye-bye. Thank you, James. Bye, buddy. Wow. Hey, guys. We're back. We're back from commercial. Hi. Do we do commercial after? No, we don't. We don't. Do you remember hearing a commercial play? He just hung up. Right, right, right, right, right. So, guys, that was James McAvoy. And you know what?

56:41I got to tell you, I'm not buying the accent. I think he needs to work on that. Really? You don't think it's? Yeah, I mean, everyone knows he's from Dayton, Ohio. and he's been working on the Sky Shades. Dayton, Ohio. Yeah, no, he's great though. Like I didn't ask him about Narnia and like Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe. I was obsessed with that. Or X-Men. I mean, what's the matter with you? I know. I know. I'm not like a massive X-Men thing. Like I think he's great. Walk us through it though. What's missing for you with that? No, I like it. It's just, I just never, it's hooked into it. I mean, I watched them all and they're great.

57:15I just, I'm not a rabid fan of the series. What about Narnia? But yeah, the Narnia things. I wish they, there was that person was so great. The wardrobe that you didn't like or the witch? No, so he played the fawn. What was his name? The fawns. Tumnus? Tumnus? Mr. Tumnus? Tummy sticks. Something like that. And didn't you guys like that book when you were a kid? Of course. Never read it. Oh, it was the best. Of course. I read the whole series. They were fucking great. Yeah, such great books. Great books. Anyway, I didn't get a chance to ask him. When he popped on, I was like, oh, I've actually always wanted to meet him.

57:46And so I got to meet him. Who wrote those books? Quick. C.S. Lewis. Nice. Yeah, thanks. Hey, Willie, are you still doing that book club thing? Yeah. When's that launching? Book club with myself. I don't know. We are going to do, yeah, we are going to be launching the Smart List. It's been a time thing, but we are going to do the Smart List book club. Yeah. Because if you mention a book, I will read it and we can talk about it. Yeah, yeah. And JB, thank you for sending us over those book recos from your pal, from Laura. Which is always, it's nice to get book recos. Yeah, because you don't want to, it's like television recos or movie stuff.

58:23Yeah, it's hard to fucking narrow it down. There's so many fucking books out there. And I'm going to say, yeah. James kind of looks like if Heath Ledger had a baby with Jude Law. Right, you know, I was thinking, he looks a lot like Josh Charles, our friend Josh Charles. Do you guys know Josh? Oh, he does remind me of Josh Charles, certainly. Josh Charles, I love Josh. Baltimore Orioles fan. Yeah. Incredible actor. Because he's from Baltimore. He's a wonderful bloke. He is a wonderful bloke. Do they say bloke in Scotland? No, they don't. But you know what? That's okay. I think they might sometimes.

58:55That McAvoy, that Jimmy Flow, is it what we call him? Jimmy Flow. Flow. Jimmy Flow. Yeah, he's got something about him, doesn't he? He's just cool. He's very down to earth. He's got a real sort of authenticity to him, which I really respond to. You like the cut of his chip? I very much like the cut of his chip. And you could hang out with that guy. Fuck yeah. out with that guy. He's really cool. We would hang. We would do some hard hanging. And every single time he plays. I have a lot of comments for people who walk by. You know what I mean? Like a lot of like, look at this fucking guy. You know what I mean?

59:30My favorite chick. Every time he plays a different character, I totally. There we go. Buy it. We really snuck that one up on a shiny boy. Nice going. Smart.

59:48Smartless. Less. Smartless is 100 % organic and artisanally handcrafted by Bennett Barbaco, Michael Grant Terry, and Rob Armjarf.

1:00:06Smart. Less. So, Jason and Willie, we have a new show on Smartless Media called Gold. That I'm very, very excited. Sorry, I just cut off when you said the title, Goalless. Goalless, right. Now, Sean and I are excited about it too, but here's what's good. Sean and I are much more sort of like the, a bit more of the typical American audience that does not know as much about soccer as you do. So you have taken that into account with the way in which you've gone about developing this podcast. Yes? Well, I brought in, I want to introduce you guys to the great, The greatest. Russell Howard. Yeah, Russell.

1:00:45Hello. Russell Howard. Russell Howard. Hello. Here he is. Yes. Russ, here. So, Russ, I'm going to let you describe Goalless because football is my soccer, whatever you want to call it, is my passion. I love it. But you are our host because you are even more passionate and have grown up in this milieu. Go ahead, Russell Howard. And also, by the way, for my sister Tracy, one of the most successful stand-up comedians in the UK. And not related to Ron. No. Just to be clear. Just to be clear. Not related to Ron. Yeah, I'm a stand-up comedian from England. And I was, thank you, thank you. I was given the opportunity to do this podcast about football.

1:01:24And basically, it's going to be like a late night sort of show about soccer, football, whatever you want to call it. We're going to talk about the Champions League. We're going to be interviewing ex-pros, current pros, celebrities that like football. It's everything you can imagine. Do you have a band? Do you have a band? I don't have a band, no. Yeah. And we'll get you one of those. Okay. We'll get you one of those. With like a slide flute and a high hat. Imagine that. If that's the first complaint of the show, it's good. There's a lot of fun and chat about football. But where's the plan? Yeah.

1:01:53We'll have a sidekick. Could use a bet. You're going to talk about Champions League. Now, Jason and Sean, Champions League is the tournament that they do yearly of all the top, basically, in essence, the top four teams from all the domestic leagues all over Europe and the UK play against each other in midweek games throughout the year and finally in the spring, they narrow it down. They start in group play, then they get into elimination. And by the way, Russell, Will has gotten me excited about soccer. So I actually have to... It's the best. Yes. Champions League football is incredible. At some point though, at some point, we're going to have to figure out so you don't have to keep saying soccer, I mean football, over and over.

1:02:33We have to figure out what to call them. But anyway, I'll call it soccer for you people. I don't mind. It's just at home, I can't. If I say football, it's, you know, I'll get beaten up. But this podcast can be listened to all over the world though, right? So what do you, do you prioritize the American audience, the global audience? What do you do? I don't know, Jason. It's a very difficult one. We'll wait to see the numbers. Whoever listens most gets soccer or football. By the way, the way Russell said, I don't know, Jason, that sounds like some PA on Jason's set when he's like, what's for lunch, blah, blah, blah.

1:03:03And they're like, I don't know, Jason. Would you fucking leave me alone? There's a lot of tips, Jason. But we know we've been through this when we had David Beckham on. I think we were talking about, you know that soccer is actually an English term, right? Yeah, yeah. So you know this. Well, exactly. But it was whatever we want to call it. I can't call it soccer. It would be like calling my mom, Mommy. Right, right. It feels, it gives me the ick. But you know what? The British accent covers you. I think anytime you say football, people are going to think you mean soccer because you're saying it with a British accent.

1:03:39Exactly. And we'll just be, it's like, not only do I love football, but it's such an innately funny sport. Like the supporters are hilarious. I don't know if you've never been to a live football game in England, if you go, you're just being, oh, it's the best. I like the singing. How do you learn? Is there a website you can go to to learn the chance before you get to a game? That's such a good point because they must meet up in a pub and harmonize. So there must be like football hooligans who are sort of sat there in a council flat going, look to me for the changes. Here we go. You're going home in a fucking ambulance.

1:04:16Come on. All together. When I listen to Goalless, I want to learn about these things. I want you to take care of the dingbats like me too. You know, not just the smarties like Will. Russell, you're a Reds fan. You're a Liverpool supporter. I am a Liverpool fan, yeah. Yes, the same here. Hardcore. I'm newer, obviously, to it. It's only been like 10 years for me. Oh, wow. Yo, yeah, yeah. So what was your in? What was your in? My friend of the podcast, Chappie, Mark Chappell, who's an Englishman who lives in London. There it is. Here's the Chappie mention. He got me into it like 10 years ago when we were working together, and I've become full, and I, you know, now, look, I'm into Arne Slott.

1:04:53I'm so happy he's there. But Jurgen Klopp has been my hero, my North Star for years now. I had the opportunity to hang out with him a couple of times in the last few years. These are the coaches. Wow. It's just been incredible. Yeah, and I've gone out of my way to learn some of the songs, some of the, like, you know, we conquered all of Europe, we're never gonna stop. From Paris down to Turkey, we've won the fucking lot. Bob Paisley and Bill Shankly, let's do it. Oh, he knows it. The fields of Anfield Road. We are loyal supporters and we come from Liverpool. Now, how do you learn this, Will? Allé, allé, allé.

1:05:27Yeah. Is it on a website? Like, how do you do that? Yeah, you can look up. Yeah, because you're like, what are they singing? What I love most about it is it clearly is on a website, but there's the fact that Will Arnett has clearly been in his shower. So you get practicing it. You're rehearsing. Yeah, of course you have. Who gets to decide what songs are going to be sung on what week? Like, do they get changed? Well, this is the point. Because they're often really funny. I remember there's a brilliant story of the Rangers goalkeeper Andy Gorham who basically came out and said he was a schizophrenic.

1:05:56And his own crowd that week started chanting, there's only two Andy Gorhams, two Andy Gorhams. Oh, my gosh. So that's what I mean. With football, there's sort of like this sort of galaxy around it that is sort of just naturally piss-taking. Like some of the best moments at a football game happen with the crowd. Like footballers get abuse. And I'm a stand-up comedian. The heckles you get are nothing compared to footballers. I remember seeing, I went to a Bath City game. I don't know if I can, this is, there was maybe about 500 people there. It was Boxing Day. and it was a pre-match warm-up and the goalkeeper was quite a heavy set lad and he was just getting one of the balls out of the net.

1:06:40And he looked at this kid who must have been about 11 and he said, did you have a good Christmas? And this little kid went, looks like you did, you fat cunt. And there is no world in which that's allowed. Like this poor guy just had to take it from an 11-year-old kid. and it's that just viciousness. This is the kind of flavor and spice we want to get from you on a weekly basis. It was so fascinating. And if you've never been to a football game, I remember taking my wife to watch Liverpool Paris Saint-Germain and she was just fascinated. All the sort of French football fans took their tops off and they were kind of swinging them around.

1:07:20And it's like this weird church that just goes crazy, Anfield, on a European night. So basically, that's what the podcast is going to be. I mean, I love that. And it's growing and growing and growing. I mean, like... What's so crazy is, I was going to say that... Sorry, Sean, but I was going to say, that kind of, that vibe that you get, I remember, like I said, I remember a lot... Just a couple months ago, I was at Anfield and sitting and watching... Maybe I told you guys this story. Watching Sir Kenneth Doglick sitting right behind me with his wife and how many times they've been to Anfield. He was a player and a manager, blah, blah, blah.

1:07:55And them singing... Do You Never Walk Alone. Never Walk Alone. And his wife dabbing her eyes. Oh. It's so moved by it. Well, he's an incredible man as well. He's incredible. To get serious, the Hillsborough disaster, where a lot of Liverpool supporters died, he went to every single funeral when he was the manager. Yeah, every single one. And so the club is, you know, it's in his bones. So I think that song, you know, really takes him to a special place. It is beautiful. And the whole stadium sings it. By the way, we're sitting there and the stand opposite us is the Sir Kenneth Douglas stand. And he's sitting right behind me.

1:08:36It was just incredible. Which is a bit harsh that they don't let him sit in his own stand. I know. No, it's better. It's better. He gets to look at it. He gets to look at it. You know, Jason and I shared an office once and I'd had... Oh, this is exciting. And it was a big, long office and I had this huge painting from a show. I wasn't there a lot. And I had this huge... He's giving me shit and I'd be like, I don't want to be in the fucking... I had this huge painting of myself from a show. And one day when he was there, I had to put it behind my desk, behind where I sat. So he's always there. And so he calls me one day and he goes, why does they put this fucking painting of you?

1:09:10And I go, because when I'm not there, you still get to look at me. Yeah. I remember doing that years ago. I had loads of kind of posters of various stand-up shows that I'd done. And I kind of thought, what would be a nice thing to have them? And then I put them up in this room in my house. and then as soon as I put it up, I just realized it was such a mistake because it just looks so weird and arrogant. I don't know if you've ever seen that MTV Cribs episode of Mariah Carey where she goes to this crowded room and she reads all the notes from her fans. It was just like, oh, what have I become, man?

1:09:43I know. I know, right? What a house that was. But at least we have you and it's you and Chris Whittingham as well. Is that true? That's right. Yeah, he's a CBS commentator. He's a funny guy and he knows loads about football. now this would be this would be your this would be your sidekick he is he's my co-host continue with the late night show uh yeah analogy yeah yeah he's he's basically he's got all the knowledge and uh and we're just going to kind of riff and then we'll have kind of celeb guests and it's going to basically be it's the dream job for me will are you going to be the first guest i'm hoping i will be a guest if they'll ask me are you waiting for someone to reach out Well, yeah, man.

1:10:24Well, I can reach out right now. Well, I don't want to be presumptuous and think that they want to fucking talk to me. Because I'm just... I would love to talk to you. Would you? There it is. We have our first booking. Have you ever played at Anfield? That would be my first question. I've never played. I've been on the pitch. Save it for the show. Save it for the show. Yeah. Yeah, don't get... Yeah, you don't have to go. Yeah, try to make a deal. I've seen Mo Salah getting a rubdown after a match. Okay. and I had was that at the changing room or did you just that was at the hotel you got a really good telescope no no no that was through the blinds just outside like that yeah yeah this one fucking truck wouldn't move and I finally got a glimpse I got the fucking angle I wanted I had Darwin Nunez walk by and basically give me a high five holding a towel and he was just in a towel I mean and were you in the changing room yeah yeah yeah right after the match that must have felt so awkward it was very awkward what do you do in the end of the Because basically, they're all having a shower.

1:11:24Yeah. And, you know. Just waiting with a stack of towels. Does anyone want a LucasAid or a Gatorade or a Power Bar? Would you like a Power Bar? I tell you what they didn't appreciate was my boner. Yeah, exactly. Oh, that's what you should have done. You should have got in the shower. Yeah. You should have got in the shower with them. I know, I should have. Now you wouldn't have wanted to have me as a guest if I'd been in the shower. But there's so much to talk about. The football, as you said, Russell, it's so endless, the stories. And that's what drew me into football, how I became it. I love sports, but I became a football fan once I started to understand the stories of who this manager was, who this player was and stuff.

1:12:05That's actually what got me. And I started watching all the docuseries about the various things. So we want to bring on Goalist, kind of bring listeners in so they can start to understand the culture of football, of soccer, right? That's exactly it, yeah. I need that. I'm actually excited about that. Yeah, me too. So it premieres, it premieres, guys, when? 19th of September. 19th of September. Thursday, September 19th. And two new episodes released each week every Monday and Thursday, which is great. It's going to be great. Russell Howard and Chris Whittingham. Yeah, great. That's right. It's going to be so fun.

1:12:35If you ever find yourself in England, I've got two season tickets to Liverpool. Have you? So I would love to bring you along. I think that's more for me and Sean, not you, Will. Go ahead. No, no, I could probably get another one. But to be honest, Will will be down in the showers. just getting them ready just getting the temperature ready anybody want to get ready? just putting your elbow in yep that's fine that's going to be so good very nice Russell thank you so much for your time we're so excited for Goalless it's going to be great thanks for it I'm really looking forward to it nice to meet you you too cheers September 19th September 19th alright chaps have a good day see you later thanks for us see you buddy bye bye bye Thank you.